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thosemintcookies · 4 years

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I think there are a lot of internet gays who focus too much on specific parts of popular Queer Culture(tm) and it gets a little weird. Like no you don't have to be into button ups and iced coffee to be queer. Also talking about relationships and queerness is important and foundational, but it can't be like. The only thing. What are your career goals? What hobbies do you have or would like to develop? How do you interpret intimacy?

I think a lot of what bothers me is that queerness is supposed to be diverse. I don't want to be a vaporwave bi e-girl. I'm somewhere on the spectrum of butch, but even thats amorphous and more to do with my relationship with my own body because I love fem things. Queer isn't sexy white lesbians. It isn't cis twinks. It isn't trans catgirls. It isn't cottagecore. It isn't dyed hair. I mean it's that and more. It's all.

And then there's this discourse of "useless gay" which, I mean, i don't know about how to talk about emotions, but you don't have to limit yourself by using bad arguments to why you can't do things. Some gays do like math. Some gays can drive. It's an unhealthy persona to unironically adopt that you're going to be incompetent because of your queerness.

Imagine my frustration at shedding the chains of my femininity, only to be labeled in another way that people had no business assuming. Straight to lesbian and back to straight, to bi to pan to asexual. Tomboy to girl to butch to demi-girl to trans man to gender non-conforming woman to what? I'm none of these things, I'm all of these things. Queer. I don't want to claim a label. I don't want people making assumptions about me. Being perceived is torture. You don't need to know. My identity is between God and me.

These are just things that I've been thinking about. The need to label everything, the need to categorize, it's antithetical to my experience of queerness. Queer is free, queer is undefined, queer is self-knowing, queer is helpful, queer is community.

Queer power, to me has never been in the zaniness of appropriated american black, drag, youth culture. Its been in power. Its been persevering and finding life beautiful despite a world that hates you. Its been self discovery. Its been extending empathy. Gay politicians, gay activists, gay mathematicians, mechanics, nurses etcetera throughout the world.

Like queer is so big and I just wish its tropea came from a wider range of realities than the north American whitewashed lifestyle. I wish it wasn't so fixated on trying to pin down what people are just to exclude them. I don't really like iced coffee, basically.

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