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#its 1 am dont blame me if this doesn't make sense
ladystardust222 · 1 year
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"james is a hockey player" this
"james is a football player" that
well i just know that james played rugby and was full on obsessed, like with quidditch
coz james is british, and rugby's ac rlly big here so it does make sense
and he gives nick nelson vibes, like hogwarts rugby king
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mimlicious · 10 months
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so 👏 i destroyed my pity earlier cause i pulled on Yaes banner for shits and giggles even though i was saving up for my husband and i immediately started screaming and complaining
(i love yae but i am a kazuha wanter that wants become a kazuha haver as soon as possible)
so sagau where the allogenes, in my case Yae, hear us complain when we get them on banners
cause i'm convinced that Yae would be all salty but would try not to show it
like "Oh? Is that so? Well, sooner or later they'll understand that me joining the team has more merits than the Kaedehara kid. Jealous? Of course I'm not jealous! Why would you even suggest that!"
and Yae wouldn't even be the worst
imagine pulling for idk any 4 stars and the Wanderer comes home. If he could reach out of the screen and yell at the player he sure as hell would. Don't be alarmed though, he's just trying to cover up for the fact that he's terribly afraid that you don't want him on the team
"What do you mean no? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUD RATHER HAVE THAT CRYO KID FROM LIYUE? That's pathetic! I am not salty! I could not care less!"
and aside from those who would act like a four year old that didnt get any dessert, youd also have the other side of the coin
example number 1: Bennet.
He"d be so sad and dejected, and he would absolutely blame it on himself.
"I mean it makes sense... I wouldn't want me either..."
poor baby would be feeling depressed, cause its one thing having npc's not wanting you around and its another when its the creator that doesn't want you on the team
another allogene that fits into this category is Collei
once she hears the disappointment that your voice is laced with, her shoulders slum and her eyes get teary. the only difference between her and benny is that she'd try to hide it
"No, I mean it makes sense! I... I am not good enough, that's why... But that's okay! I just need to do better..."
(istg if you hurt my babies ill hunt you down, they are both too precious)
so up until now we have those who are salty and get annoyed that you dont appreciate their greatness, and those who blame themselves for not being good enough, and then you have Kaveh
If this post is a coin then Kaveh is the line you try to balance the coin on
he'd be so annoyed by your reaction but internally he'd be beating himself up
"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'oh...'! HONESTLY! THEY WOULDNT EVEN RECOGNISE TALENT IF IT HIT THEM STRAIGHT IN THE FACE!"
meanwhile inside his head: "I guess it makes sense... A burden is a burden no matter with who is carrying it..."
and of course we have those who couldn't care less (cough Alhaitham cough) and those who don't make a huge deal out of it and just smile saying that "it's okay, they were just excited" (the loml, Kazuha)
Yeah anyways I've been thinking. Feel free to elaborate or add stuff :))
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skullinahat · 17 days
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rambling abt the shinra electric power company logo
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i fucking love how absolutely egregiously ugly the logo is. im obsessed. everything about it is so bad and its SO funny because the rest of the graphic design for anything that shinra made is super topnotch and like, cookie cutter clean pretty sci-fi evil corporation stuff. and then the logo just stands out like a sore thumb. why are the japanese characters the color of chicken flesh? why the shadows trying and failing to make it look 3d? we know they couldve just properly pulled off a 3d look. why does everything white have some form of black outline except for the white slice on top? what is happening with the gradients?
and obviously the worst of it all is the SEC Shinra Electric Power Company. i didnt burn the shit outta this first off because obviously the japanese takes the first place and most intention however. the time has come.
IT JUST LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING AFTERTHOUGHT. COMPLETELY. LIKE SOME POOR DESIGNER WAS HANDED THE ALREADY COMPLETED LOGO WITH NO ENGLISH ON IT AND THEN WAS TOLD TO ADD THE ENGLISH
The way the font doesn't match the japanese at all and the way the letters are kerned so tightly together to get power to fit within the profile that they look like they have a variable baseline and the way everything is so tightly pushed together ONLY in that corner of the design. THEY JUST COMPLETELY SKIP A LETTER IN THE ACRONYM. it doesnt matter if none of the letters actually touch eachother they create tangents and ridicoulous tension in the design anyway. i love how it completely breaks any flow the design without english had. it just ruins it. its so good
i know nothing about designing for games like these so either 1. there's a reason for why the logo looks like this that i dunno about (very probable) 2. there was truly some incredibly poor design decisions made in the original 3. the english actually literally was an afterthought 4. the design is like this because its based off of the og game design (i couldnt find anything on that) and then the blame lays with the og game designers OR 4. the designers are mimicking a specific logo style and they're fucking geniuses. if anyone can show me the logo style theyre mimicking PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE this sort of design is my favorite i want to see more of it
im leaning towards 3 more and more which makes sense to me! i support them! i dont think they shouldve added the english text like that in the first place though because like
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look at how nice this is and how much sense it makes without the english text. its obv been gussied up a bit and the slice at the top still doesnt make sense but still
now look at the text by itself
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i love it. its so bad its perfect. it looks like the logo of a shitty family business in my area not the big-name power corporation BUT i do not know abt old logo design in japan so once i am missing cultural context for it! anyways its great and i wanted to share
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1007xf · 2 years
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i mean. i guess not then. to be fair most of me dreams tend to result in death so technically by my definition id have a shit ton of nightmares but i dont. but still thats not good man :(((( you ok? 🫂
NOPE ABSOLUTELY NOT I AM SERIOUSLY NOT OK. for a variety of reasons tho. its been happening in my dreams a lot, where i either 1. do something for them that they brush off and ignore, 2. fuck up something for them and it makes me feel bad, or 3. fuck up so bad that they dont forgive me and they leave or smth along the lines. havent told em yet. and SAME TO YOU omg please rant about whatever youd like to me be it good or bad :) if ya need to get it out of there im right here to listen :)
my parents would disagree!!!! i am Constantly compared to my best friends now that i think about it. they're somewhat older than me, but oh well its normal i think. still makes me feel like shit tho lol. thanks a lot MOM /nbh, s
OH YEAH for sarcasm theres the /s tonetag :) and also /gen for genuine, if it helps. like depending on the message, it could change entirely the meaning :) like. "thanks a lot man /s" and "thanks a lot man /gen" have different meanings even though theyre the same message :) Idk if this helps but ye :) i cannot blame you though i tend to use sarcasm a lot too so yeah :) and ofc man :)
hey no worries lol it happens sometimes. fuck i think this was even longer than both our responses combined so ur good
Aah, no need to worry about me in that regard, I never take my dreams too seriously especially those kind because they make very little sense anyway, they're more funny than anything, even if I die in them.
Aw, that's no good. But, really, if it's mainly happening in dreams, don't let them affect you that much. They're only dreams! I think a good way to combat any worries they may arise is by just... overthinking the dream, in a way? Think about the details, or lack thereof. Maybe that can help you realize that they're way to bare bones and empty to mirror reality. But I'm not an expert in any regard so I dont know how viable this advice can actually be "o_o
Being compared to older people isn't fair because they literally have an advantage over you. They had more time to do shit, the comparison just doesn't work. So don't stress about them too much! You are good just the way you are, imho!
Whew we both said a lot. But I don't mind! I like talking to you :3
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sourdough-morbread · 3 years
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Morgana 👀
ok so i know you left this ask ages ago and this is like so fucking long i am so sorry.
but i just... i have a lot of thoughts on morgana. *hides pages of notes made for two big morgana-centric WIPs*
First impression: this is what went through my mind in my first watch through
s1: i fell for morgana really quickly. i was like. YES she has MAGIC and she tells off uther and arthur. 
s2: i still liked her but i getting concerned about the direction the writers were pulling her character in season 2. i was quite disappointed in the way her turn to evil was written. like she was good then barely on screen and very damsel-in-distressy for some reason. and then she became evil!morgana with zero explanation and zero reluctance. didnt really make sense to me.
s3: i enjoyed her as a villain in, but at that point she was a completely different character in my eyes. not in the old character new instalment but in a entirely different person was put inside her. 
s4: she was so boring and one dimetional. just. meh. she barely felt like a threat.. 
s5: i wasnt even paying attention to her.  she has become the random conflict generator the writers rather than a character. so i just didnt care. also i skipped a few eps in my first go so. like dark tower bc i didnt want to see gwen hurt. so i missed out on the emotional impact of that.
Impression now: after rewatching i can see her character arc a lot better. i still think her arc wasnt well done. but thats because the execution was lacking, rather than the trajectory of her character not making sense. because it actually makes a lot of sense.
like in season 1, she is basically immune. she is caught aiding mordred and yet she can get away with uther yelling at her and have it all be forgotten with an apology. meanwhile tom is executed for being seen with a sorcerer. when she wants to kill uther, i dont think she thinks she will be caught. nobody would ever dare accuse morgana and arthur would never suspect it. 
then she discovers she has magic herself and all of that immunity is gone. and without that safety net she becomes willing to endanger so many people, including the allies of magic in camelot. you know, people she would be screaming at the defence of previously.  
her in 1x10 is a small glimpse of what she could have been. a force for good. someone willing to actually fight against what uther and rulers like him were doing. and i would have loved to see that. 
but thats not what the writers chose. instead she regains her footing in hatred and blaming everyone for the fear she felt of death and disgust she felt of herself once she became one of those she defended but saw as beneath her none the less. 
and i will never not be salty about how they skipped over her turning evil and how flat she became. like. let me have a deeply evil terrifying witch damn it! 
i think what makes her terrifying is that she doesnt want power. not really. she wants revenge. she wants to take everything arthur cares about. she wants the throne because arthur doesn't get to have it. she wants camelot to kill its people. she doesnt care about power beyond how much pain she can cause with it. and thats so terrifying. enemy with no goal but to cause you pain. and knows all your weaknesses and can fool the people you have wronged to think she is fighting for their salvation. how do you even fight that? 
idk i just think it was underutilised. again she was just a conflict generator the writers used until the final battle. even then mordred was more significant than morgana. 
Favorite moment: just her in the entirety of beginning of the end. if i had to pick one moment it would be her goading arthur to look behind the curtain. its just so good.
Idea for a story: again... the WIPs. but one i havent written yet.
i had one au where arthur found out about her magic on accident and like. it kicked off a whole plot of her learning magic, and arthur finally facing how terrible uther is and getting his shit together. its not a very detailed idea. morgause would probably use this opportunity to manipulate arhtur. agravain would proably be not evil, tho still a spineless slimy noble. idk.
Unpopular opinion: this is not going to be a surprise to people who know me, but i dislike pretty much all of the discussion ive seen about 2x03. 
fandom seems to be stuck on this dichotomy of either merlin should have told her about his magic and by not doing so he betrayed her— he did not. merlin tried to help her at the risk of his own life. go watch 2x03 again. or merlin reacted perfectly— also he did not. even while helping her, he still refused to acknowledge her magic.
in a situation where something invisible about you can get you killed, subtle word choices matter. merlins words, him continuing to say he wouldn't know if it was magic, even though they both knew it was and that the other also knew, means something. it means i will keep your secret but i cannot help you. this is by no means a moral failing of merlin. he made this choice out of fear for his own life, and i think it is unreasonable to expect him to react perfectly.
morgana in turn had no reason to go to merlin again about her magic. he has made it clear he doest want to be involved, which he has no responsibility to. and why would merlin be able to help her? he, as far as she knows, has no personal experience with magic except his sorcerer friend. 
besides, druids were the safest place for a her to be. it was the safest place for any warlock to be, including merlin.  her knowing or not knowing about merlin has nothing to do with it. like. everything that happens in camelot between merlin and morgana in season 2 is perfectly understandable. they didnt wrong each other. 
what merlin and morgana actually did wrong is getting all those druids killed because they didnt think the plan through. like all of those people in that camp died. aglain, the person helping morgana, died right in front of her and mordred. the druids were the only ones wronged in that situation. which i have never seen pointed out. 
Favorite relationship: her and mordred
listen there is only a singular instance of morgana genuinely hesitating to hurt somebody after her turn and that person is mordred.
Favorite headcanon: oracle!morgana. this is like a whole big headcanon thats basically the origin story of how draognlords came to be. something happened and oracles stole dragons wills and their births to give to mortals as punishment. and then a group of these people came to albion and became the Seers and the dragonlords. who have like different traditions to the druid seers and the priestesses who use methods adapted from scry methods.
thats why she can speak with aithusa even though aithusa cant speak. 
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edwardslostalchemy · 4 years
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(Dabi anon again (hellos)) I feel that at first Izu would be critical if we consider Bk, AM, and all the heros during the sludge villian event but eventually he'll mellow out bcuz of his own quirklessness which'll let him see that you cant just yeet logic out the window tho he'd still be pissed cuz of how some heros dont even try. That or it'll go the other direction and he'd be critical af cuz they have quirks and he doesn't yet he's the only one that did anything (1/3)
most likely itd be combination of these? And it'll swing depending on the hero and bais. Yes he'd definitely have standards tho for those who dont hold up I feel like thatd depends, the circumstances would be taken into consideration since Izu isn't as single minded as Stain (cuz of personal experiences, he's still pretty head set it just depends). Yee smol bean, he'd end up focusing on being fast and stealth but if he ended up joining the lead he'd probably bulk up a lil bit more. (2/3)
Parallel wise, yeah Dabs would most likely be a Todoroki (+ its fannon soo,, self-indulgent, this au is self-indulgent and you have made me want to make it into a whole au thx for that). If Izu joined Lov then definitely, no way avoiding it. If he didnt join the chances of them runnin into eachother depend- Izu could attempt to track Dabi down cuz he was diggin up info, cuz of Giran making him curious, bcuz of their similar beliefs, or they could never meet for more than a simple passing. (3/3)
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(Howdy!! I am really enjoying this btw just letting you know) 
I agree that it would be a little bit of both. Like maybe at first, he would be really upset at the fact none of the heroes stepped in to fight the sludge villain and he got reprimanded for it. BUT after thinking it over he would understand like okay fine, maybe it wasn’t that smart to go butt first into the fight. But he was just trying to help. Give the kid some credit. So I honestly would NOT blame him one bit for feeling both ways. 
I like that he gets to keep his logical, analytical brain because Stain meant...well, but he went about it in the worst possible way (killing heroes) to prove his point. Izuku would at least evaluate an individual hero and then see if they are truly being heroic or if they are just in it for a false persona. I love smol bean Izuku *cries*. But Izuku bulking up to join the League would also make sense so that way he can like keep up with fights and stuff. I would imagine he’d dress the way he normally does, which  looks kinda baggy and even hides his build, which would probably be really smart of him so that way people don’t assume his dangerous (and it also helps that he has a baby face so he doesn’t look intimidating...until he starts fighting and that’s when heroes are like Oh I’ve committed a Mistake). 
Ah! So the circumstances would depend on them meeting then. I like the idea of them meeting! I’ve seen comics of their dynamic (I forget the artist’s name rip), and it’s an interesting relationship, bros with Toga and Shiggy. But I would imagine in this situation, it wouldn’t be so so uhh tight knit, but rather the way it is now with the League, where they become family as time passes on and they stick together. Maybe Izuku could go with Dabi to search for potential members? But it’s also interesting to think about Izuku searching for him because Giran sparked his interest. And even more interesting is if they don’t meet and they pass by each other, but then Izuku hears about this blue fire quirk user on the news and he’s like HMMMMM cool. It depends on how you treat fate for them. (And!!! It makes me happy to know you are getting inspiration to make this into an au!!!! That’s great!!!! If you do, please send me the link to your post so I can read/share it.) 
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who-really-am-i · 4 years
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15×3, "The Rupture"
I know there are already a hundred of these, but well, one more won't hurt
At first, let's point out how proud I am for Rowena. When she made her first appearance, I despised her, but with time I grew to love her. And now, seeing her sacrifice her life for humanity, made me even more proud. She died a hero. And her "Goodbye boys" teared me up
Moving on to Ketch, its not that i loved his character, but he had a sense of humor and I enjoyed the episodes he was in. I have to say though, that his death wasn't appropriate for the character, he should have died a more heroic one in my opinion.
And now, on to a topic that saddened me deeply: The Destiel break up scene. What has Dean thinking that after all Cas has done for him, for Sam and for humanity, and after all the trauma and the blaming that has been done on his person, he would stand there and just be the scapegoat! Yeah, in Dean's eyes, Cas killed his mom. But the things Cas has done since season 4 are greater that each and every one Mary did in the 3 seasons she was in. And Dean standing there, still blaming Cas for everything, has my image of him tainted even more than it was already. It's not like Dean is a saint. He started Apocalypse no.1, he took the mark of cane, he freed abaddon, and a lot of other things that slip my mind at the moment. He just straightly accused Cas of everything that went wrong along the way. " And why is that something always seem to be you?" WHAT'S THAT EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN? IS IT CAS' FAULT THAT DEMONS ARE SONS OF BITCHES THAT CAN'T BE TRUSTED? IS IT CAS' FAULT THAT BALPHAGOR WANTED TO TAKE THE THRONE OF HELL? NO IT WASN'T. But he had to make a choice, and he had to do it fast, so he did. I would've done the same thing. Dean would've done the same thing if he were in Cas' shoes.And then we have Dean who blames Cas for the plan failing?WELL GUESS WHAT! PLANS CHANGE SWEETHEART. You based the plan on a demon. Not all demons are like Crowley.And lets reverse the situation for a moment: if Dean was in hell and not Cas and he killed Balphagor instead of letting him syphon all the souls in his, what would Cas and Sam's reactions be? Surely they wouldn't blame him for the plan failing would they? But it wasn't Dean who killed Balphagor, it was Cas. And as we all know, Cas is a scapegoat for Dean to blame his anger on...
Dont get me wrong, I love Dean, but he needs to get his head out of his ass, before I do it for him thank you very much.
Also, while I was watching the scene, I had major dejá vou and now for everyone that still doesn't agree that Dean and Cas are in love, here is the scene that I was reminded of:
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Cas finally letting his feelings out
Versus
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Ian breaking up with Mickey
And the bitch is crying. I am the bitch
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jlf23tumble · 4 years
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1/? the thing about louis' interviews is that he is so alike harry in the sense that he doesn't wanna talk about his personal life. the difference is that while harry doesn't answer ANY question (which makes his intentions obvious for everyone listening) louis DOES answer everything they throw at him, it's just the same recycled stories. but for the gp or even the interviewers it doesn't sound weird like it does to us, the fans who watch every step he takes. of course every artist out there +
(this got long, so I’ll put it under a cut)
2/? will repeat some stories in different interviews because that’s just promo strategy but they’re often told differently and repeated when the question is similar (because we know questions get repeated a lot) and not applied to different questions yknow. i think we can see that clearly with liam and niall. anyways i think the point for louis is not only to say private (like it seems to be for harry) but mostly to feel like in control of stuff. in control of his narrative and how people +
3/? perceive him and imo that makes him more comfortable and allows him to be laid back in interviews. because it’s obvious for me that between the four guys he is usually the most strained in interviews (even when he’s super confortable) while liam and niall especially appear to be almost always super chill and unbothered? thats just my perception anyway. and thats obviously not a problem or any criticism to him! promo cycle sounds super boring and nerve-wracking and after everything +
4/? he’s been through i dont blame him for that; i think he does what he has to do in order to make him more comfortable with this moments (in 1d group interview his strategy seem to be make jokes for example) and im proud of him for founding a way out to bear it you know! lisa said in her tags: “i often get the idea that he’s afraid of performing badly so he’d rather back out when it comes to things like this. he’ll put his whole heart in to music and performing maybe because he knows +
5/5 knows that he’s good but something out of his comfort zone he’ll step out lean on charm and laugh it off its all or nothing” regarding the play doh thing and i think it sums up his behaviour in interviews. so basically liam seems to think honesty about EVERYTHING is the way to go, niall is amazing at sounding like he’s being honest even when he’s not, harry doesn’t wanna be honest and louis wants to open his heart with his lyrics but not in interviews bc the honestly in his music is enough.
+++++++++++++++
There’s a lot to unpack here, and this hit just as I finished watching two full (and vastly different) Louis interviews, so I feel almost qualified to answer, lmao. My take is slightly different, but kind of in the same vein? Interviews are PR performance, pure theater, so I tend to watch them for entertainment more than for any deep insights (and this is true for any artist; I know most people here don’t follow anyone else, but I guarantee it’s a game that is gamed across the board, this is work, the most tedious part of the job, etc.). But getting back to the D, yeah, they all handle it in their own ways: Harry is a terrible liar (in the sense of answering a direct question with a lie, he can’t do it…swerve? YES, but that’s not the same thing), Niall and Louis have zero problems on that front (Niall recently admitted that he and Louis made sport of saying random shit in interviews just to see where it would land, AND GOOD FOR THEM, they don’t owe us “the truth,” especially about anything personal), and Liam typically goes with what he’s supposed to say, but with nobody driving the ship these days, he says whatever he wants to in the moment, damn actual sense or timelines. It’s fascinating because they’ve all been media-trained to within an inch of their lives, but they also came into megastardom during the age of digital microinspection. Every interview, every soundbite is zoomed in on, giffed, edited, and recast, so someone like, say, Louis, who already has perfectionist tendencies, will tend to be VERY careful in how he answers (yet he won’t necessarily answer truthfully, if that makes sense). I also pay attention to how he says it–like you mentioned, he leans on the charm or a laugh, but I’ve noticed (and he also recently admitted) that he tends to do that ESPECIALLY when he’s saying something kind of sharp and sarky. It softens it so he doesn’t look like a dick, but it also absolutely highlights his brilliance. God, I could sit there and admire what he’s like all the live long day. For all of them, I guess the thing I admire is that in the face of this hours-long mindless tedium, they’re all extremely present (or they phone it in, but they never sound bored): they all act like this is the first time someone asked them this particular question, they all give it some thought, none of them roll their eyes, etc. I work with idiots from time to time, and I can’t do that. There are actual living, breathing actors who can’t do it!! Where am I going with this? Idk, but this is why I like to watch everything in full; it’s usually lots more entertaining and you get a feel for the performance writ larger. 
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therewas-a-girl · 7 years
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Hey i love the insight you give to Oliver and im not so lucky to be an analytical (😬😊) and was wondering what does Oliver trusting himself have to do with him not telling Felicity? And what does Felicity mean when she says she understands now because of Billy? Those scenes have me very confused.
okay, anon here i am, finally. im so sorry for the  late reply, but i’ve had a couple of bad days preceded by some worse weeks T_T, and i’m in the middle of exams * T_T harder* , so free time is essentially not here for me.
BUT i’m on my break now - 
SO!
first of all, thank you! i find it  a little bit surprising tbh, cause i never saw myself as very analytical - i just sort of obsess over details and some things seem to make sense only to me?  or i just don’t know how to express them clearly enough. but im going to try my best, i promise. but don’t take me at my word, cause honestly, even as i write this, im still trying to understand this myself, so i’ll just… take with with a grain of salt
im going to take up the easy one first: felicity. mostly because, where felicity’s ‘i understand now because of Billy’, of all things, is concerned, my reaction is basically this :
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im just not here for it, and i dont care to bullshit my way into circular meta/rationalization over it, because the subtext of it as an idea alienates and, frankly, enrages me.
Oliver… 
So, the first thing i thought when i heard Oliver say, ‘i dont trust myself’ is the fact that, this whole conviction he has right now (that he enjoyed killing, and that everything that is and went wrong in his life, stems form this truth he hid from himself)is based on his supposed clarity about himself and his nature that he gained when he was holed up and tortured by Adrian for 7 days. Aka, not to be trusted.
my messy reasoning goes kind of like this: 
in the flashbacks, we saw Felicity tell him that she still felt like he didn’t trust her, or anyone.  That she didn’t understand why, and ‘maybe you don’t understand why either’. Leaving us with the hint  that, until he does, and deals with it, he will keep making the same choices. 
Oliver did not contradict her - which makes me think he, in part, agreed with her. 
(the writers use characters for this kind of ‘truth exposition’ thing, so i’m guessing they wanted to tell is that yes, Oliver does think this, and doesn’t understand this about himself*) 
so he has this insecurity, this… missing understanding about himself. A secret, so to speak. A truth about himself that he is so afraid of, that he has buried it so deep inside that is not even buried; It’s suppressed at this point. Which is why he didn’t understand himself. 
Adrian kidnaps him. 
Now, i thought it important to remember that he is the villain. (and here is where the text and my interpretation of it mix a little) Adrian is super smart and intuitive about people, and also - important! - a lawyer. He knows how to ask questions, how to lead people on. All the while Oliver was there, Adrian was in his suit, walking back and forth like in front of  a jury, totally calm, asking one leading question after another; plus a lovely side dish of torture, because why not trigger all the lovely trauma. 
And he got what he wanted. He got Oliver to tell him exactly what he wanted to hear!
Basically Adrian made Oliver look at his deepest fear, and admit it as truth. (and it’s not that i think the whole ‘i liked it’ about killing is a lie. but i think its more complicated than ‘you’re a dangerous crazy person who enjoys killing. who knows what you might do’) . A truth that Oliver has, apparently, always known on a subconscious level. Something he has  never faced but always feared. 
(which is, ironically, what makes it so easy to believe. It’s always a lot easier to believe the bad things about ourselves - but even more so when you take into account how self-deprecating Oliver is. hello depression how are you?)
This truth he admitted has been behind his every hesitation, his every insecurity. The fear that goes kind of like this: ‘You are a bad person because you did horrible things, monstrous things, and it’s not that you’re not sorry. You  liked it’.  
To someone like Oliver, whose sense of morality, right and wrong, is mostly internal, personal, (but also informed by conventional understanding of good and evil ) and who relies on ideals, motivations, reasons, to help him navigate his daily life, this is basically shattering the ground he walks on.
Oliver has always seemed to me like he needed to believe that his actions were right. Extreme, but justifiable, doing the right thing. (i remember his whole speech in s1 when he made an offer to John about joining him. about how the rich people of Starling were stepping on the city’s throat and not caring who they hurt and if nobody was going to stop them, then ‘its going to be me’. it was to fulfill a promise, a duty - something he sometimes even seemed to resent. but to do that, he had to believe he was doing the right thing, though in flawed ways) 
…that he didn’t even think were that flawed since, in season 1, he was having some SERIOUS adjustments issues when it came to adapting to civilian life. Every time he went out there, he was ‘kill or be killed’ mentality of a war-zone, which had been his reality for 5 years. Took some time to shake that off and even be able to see that he didn’t have to kill to survive. (and holy shit am i digressing)
Now, it seems to me that Oliver took this admission when he was in that cell, and did not stop to examine the ‘why-s’ and ‘how-s’, or even doubt the conclusion Adrian led him to, based on who was ‘holding his hand’ trying to get him there. Because Oliver says it himself - ‘Adrian did not make me a killer’. He frees this truth from circumstance completely. (either the circumstances of his admission, or even, before that, his behavior/violence) 
I don’t even think circumstances matter to him; they’d probably sound like justifications and he’d feel even worse for trying to justify himself, when he thinks so lowly of himself. 
Obviously Felicity puts it in far better context than he is capable - or rather, willing -  to do, reminding him, in 5.20, of things that he maybe knows to be true, but that he thinks have no bearing on his actions, or his judgement of himself. (’Five years in hell did that. Five years dealing with this city’s worst criminals did that’). She immediately gives him context, that Oliver probably feels either guilty for considering, or like it has no bearing, because he still chose murder, and who does that? Bad people who are not to be trusted. The kind of people he used to kill, in fact. (a belief reinforced by the accidental murder of Billy Malone, actually, while we’re at it. Like, in Oliver’s head it probably sounds like this: ‘if you weren’t so fucking monstrous and a murderer, Malone would still be alive’.)
The crux of the question seems to be the clash (a push and pull) between the love and compassion he is capable of, all the good parts of him, moral parts (and judgments); and the violence he knows he is capable of. (and righteousness, the satisfaction he felt while enacting that violence.**). 
He probably thinks that this ‘truth’ Adrian ‘showed’ him/led him to, is something he’s “known” all along, but just been too much of a coward to admit to himself. 
Like, suddenly that ‘unknown reason why he doesn't trust anyone’ has a logic, and a clear definition. He was afraid to face it, but now he does, and it makes perfect sense! He is the problem! He doesn’t trust himself because – the goodness (to simplify it) inside him, the part of him that feels guilt now, never let him get close to people he loved, even though he wanted to, even though he needed them. It always made him hesitate, because essentially, he was protecting everyone around him, instinctively, from what he knows to be violent and dark inside him. 
He also lied to himself and others he got involved with (John and Felicity, for starters)  about why he was doing what he was doing. That he is no better than the people he used to murder, and he even got his best friends involved 
and he forgets that his ability to feel all this guilt over this kind of thought is, essentially, what makes him so different, and sets him apart from this person he is so afraid he is. 
EDIT: i almost forgot that you asked me about how this relates to Oliver not telling Felicity about William - and I’m guessing, it’s not specifically about William. That omission was generalized as a lack of trust, and this ^^ whole thing, seems to be aimed to explain why. I think Oliver thought she would for sure explode in his hands, a conviction fueled by Barry’s ‘you broke up’ idea. And that he thought she would for sure leave him, not love him enough to forgive him? Not love him enough, essentially, because why would she? 
The feeling of being a failure for missing out on his son’s life (were it anyone else, i wouldn’t say he takes this blame too on his shoulders, because its so clearly Moira’s and Samantha’s doing for keeping him away, but this is Oliver! Of course he would) probably added to the guilt and the certainty that he wasn’t good enough for her to hang around. 
A self fulfilling prophecy, in truth, and a also a deep misunderstanding of Felicity’s character. More than the lie/omission, i find this, the reason behind it, to be Oliver’s real mistake. 
A mistake of course that is, sadly, in character, because Oliver has historically had trouble believing that the people he loves actually love him back. Which leads us back to ‘why would they’, and the reason why he thinks that, which is basically that he thinks he’s a shit person not worthy of anyone’s love. Not always, but most of the time.
It’s such a BRILLIANT manipulation really, because on someone who is like Adrian, this kind of lie wouldn't work! (Adrian killed his wife. In cold blood. he has exactly zero problems being the way he is.) 
It takes someone like Oliver for this  to work. Someone who is essentially ALL HEART. Who is kind and good and who, on a deep human level, abhors the violence that was done to him and that he has done to others, despite knowing that ‘it is a violent world and - as the world has taught him - it only responds to violence.’ It takes someone moral enough that, even while enacting murder, even while feeling that killing evil men was good, would still know it is wrong. And hate himself for it. For being capable of it, for looking at the world in the  face and thinking it is necessary. 
You can be led to think something is necessary, and still hate it. I think Oliver is an idealist, so it fits that he would hate having to lower himself to the level of nastiness the world around him responds to. (it’s so good for him that he is a mayor, actually. he can affect change, without employing ‘talents’ that came to him though pain and loss and tragedy. skills - violence - that he probably hate using by now, at this point in his journey) 
I really hope I’m making at least some kind of sense. Im sure this is like, only a portion of what is really going on with Oliver; or an angle into it? idk… 
Personally, when I imagine Oliver’s mind, I usually think of him floating on the surface of a really deep lake. And this lake is his personality/psyche, the exploration of which has been affected by his history. Said history has been such that he has explored corners of this lake that to most people, remain obscure all their lives. This is not a good or bad thing. it chance. Some people are pushed to the extremes and learn new things about themselves. Some never have to. Oliver was pushed, and he knows the depths of this lake, the hidden caves, the scary wildlife in the dark. It’s not like he went to those depths because he wanted to - but that doesn’t matter. What he saw there, he cannot unsee, unlearn***. 
Now he is on the surface again - but he knows the geography of himself. Most people whose feet dont touch the soil think the depth goes a couple of feet more. Oliver knows it doesn’t. And he knows that, if necessary, he could go to those depths again, if he has to. 
I mean, people rarely know what they’re capable of in extreme situations. Most people think choices made in these kinds of cases reveal you. And Oliver thinks those choices revealed a killer. And despite how balmy the surface waters are, he knows that down there it’s ugly so, he puts up these limits. You get to swim up to here where its safe, but not further out. Even if you want to. Felicity totally wanted to know all about him, but Oliver thought, wow no. Down there its ugly and gross and if she sees that, she will not just leave. She will also hate me. And to Oliver, being someone who feeds so much on the opinions of the people he loves - that  is basically his worst nightmare. I swear some of his most radical actions have been because he was so resistant to someone he cares about thinking badly of him. 
Anyways, this got ridiculously long. 
* the next time anyone tells me Arrow is good representation for someone with PTSD and mental illness, I’m gonna fucking FIGHT that person, because this is prime example of these asshole writers mystifying this illness. Why, you might ask. Because Oliver’s trust issues can directly and unequivocally be traced to his trauma. Its not that hard. it is not a mystery and treating it as such, and making everyone around him ignorant of this simple fact, demonizes (so to speak) his condition, instead of ‘representing’ it in any positive way. 
At this point Oliver’s isolation is beyond logic - or suspense of logic. As of right now there are two soldiers, two geniuses and a cop on his team! it makes them all into either idiots, or nasty, cause they have either trained to expect this (Dinah, as a cop, i imagine knows what PTSD is) or been through it (John, Rene) or are fucking geniuses who can fucking google (Felicity, Curtis). By now even nonexistent baby Sara would be able to understand the reasons behind Oliver’s patterns of behavior. It is not rocket science AND EVEN IF IT WAS - FUCKING GENIUSES IN THE HOUSE???!!!
I’m just so tired of Oliver’s trauma and violent re-traumatization being used (exploited) and some ‘so hard to understand’ baffling plot point, instead of being dealt with.
** I dont think Oliver ever stopped to consider that his life during those five years was hell, and that that means a lot of things. It means that it was out of control for a long time. that he was prey for a long time. and that it is absolutely normal to feel a sort of satisfaction when you are not the prey anymore. and that its normal to feel good when you ‘replace evil with death’ like he did in season 1. and that plenty of veterans would be able to tell him that soldiers hate war and t lohe ve war too, and that this is what happens when you live in this… almost liminal violent reality for so long. we are human and we adapt to whatever we have to, to survive. 
***I actually think this is what’s happening with Felicity too, only instead of a lake, with Felicity I imagine a road. Like those that stretch through the desert. She only sees this one road and she is so sure that she has to walk it, because it feels righteous to her. Necessary. 
Oliver and John though, they know where that road leads. They know that the choices she will make along the  way that will feel necessary - that they may even BE necessary - but she may eventually regret making them. Because this extreme, ruthless clarity she’s living, and which they have lived, pushes away all reasons why some things are wrong, but those reasons, John and Oliver know, eventually (if you’re lucky) will come back. And the  choices made during that time might give Felicity insight into things she is capable of that she is probably going to hate. And hate herself for making them. 
And they’re just trying to warn her that this road she is walking on is literally the middle of nowhere. That there are no stop signs to tell her when she’s gone too far and that she will know only when she is too deep in it, and she will hate herself for it, just like they hate themselves for some of the things they  have done, that they wish they  never had to do. 
I’m going with this interpretation, instead of the weirdly sexist-vibe of ‘you’re too pure to be fucking human’ angle.
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