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spaloonbabooguuscooties · 8 months

Text

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

#ive spent months on thsi stupid lesbian toxic yuri slow burn relationship so you all better clap or im blowing this building up #psychonauts #elka doom #franke athens #ill paint the town red

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whyse7vn · 5 months

Text

BOYFRIEND -

[ot7 x reader]

GOLDEN

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jimin: do you think i can give yeontan body dysmorphia if i show him pictures of those racer dogs??

cuz their like tall and skinny

and he’s like short and round

y/n: this one sided beef is insane

hobi: jimin wtf is wrong with you

tae: LEAVE MY DOG ALONe

he literally bit you once and all you fucking do is talk shit about him

jimin: fucking ugly nepo baby

ur lucky i don’t cook him and feed him to crabs

yoongi: get a grip

jk: guys how does birth control control birth

tae: it kills growing babies in the womb with lazers i think

hobi: what

jk: ok that makes sense

hobi: ?? no it doesn’t

jk: i wish i could control birth

jimin: abortion

yoongi: jungkook should of been

y/n: YOONGI

yoongi: sorry :3

jk: you think i could perform a abortion

jin: preform a shower

jimin: perform a diet

jin: perform a love life

jimin: perform youth

jin: perform a family that actually loves you

tae: woah

namjoon: ok

calculated all our living expenses and we need to cut down a lot

like we spend so much every month it’s not funny

what can we live without?

yoongi: jungkook probably

jin: OUR living expenses?

we do not live together!!!

tae: tf is a living expense?

y/n: is that from our silly little shared black card?

tae: WE HAVE A SHARED BLACK CARD??/!/!

yoongi: you guys still use that??

jk: i use it to rent fish

hobi: you can rent fish?

jk: yeah

i like to set them free

jimin: that feels illegal

jk: i ate one once tho

it was really sad :/

but i was really hungry

hobi: wtf

jimin: i only use that card for netflix and alcohol btw!!!!!

can’t have my accountant thinking i’m an alcoholic

namjoon: whose been using the card to pay for flights?

hybe pays for all our flights i don’t see why we’ve spent over 4 billion won on flights in the last two months when we’ve all been in korea

tae: HYBE PAYS FOR OUR FLIGHTS????

y/n: yeah are you stupid?

tae: SO WHY HAVE I BEEN GIVING JK MONEY EVERY TIME WE FLY?!

jk: is that money not for our lion we sponsored in africa?

tae: our what?

jk: lion

tae: what

jk: roar meow

🦁

that thing

jin: ofc you sponsored a lion in africa

yoongi: meow

y/n: HOLD ON 4 BILLION WON ON FLIGHTS IN 2 MONTHS???????

THATS INSANE??2£:&;&;&(

jk: we did ^_^!!!

our lion is called reggie and i get sent photos of him sometimes

i love him

jimin: i’ll shoot him

jk: TAKE THAT BACK NOW

jimin: i won’t

jk: NAMJOON TELL HIM TO TAKE IT BACK RN

namjoon: jimin take that back rn

jimin: no

namjoon: i tried!

jk: FUCK YOU

tae: you’ve been using my flight money for a lion??????????

jk: yeah!

didn’t know it was flight money tho

thought it was lion money lol

you know hybe pays for our flights right??

tae: stop speaking to me rn

jk: did i say something wrong????

namjoon: anyways

jungkook you need to stop buying fish

jk: who will set them free if i don’t 😰

hobi: SET ME FREEEEEE

namjoon: jimin chill out on the alcohol

jimin: you only live once namjoon

namjoon: it’s actually concerning how much you’ve bought THIS week

it’s for your own good

jimin: sighs

namjoon: and who tf is taking ubers everywhere we do have drivers yk??

not to mention that’s really fucking dangerous

yoongi: lmao what an idiot

y/n: lol 😅😅😅

yoongi: ????are you silly do you know how dangerous that is

ESPECIALLY for you

y/n: but they are so convenient!!!

and our drivers take soooooooo long

think about it if i didn’t take a uber yesterday i would of been late for our thing yesterday

that’s not cool is it???

yoongi: idc

i would rather you be late than dead in a ditch cuz ur uber driver was a deranged fan

y/n: booo

yoongi: next time you call one of our drivers or i’ll come and get you

ok?

y/n: ok

tae: i could come a get you lol

jk: ME TOO

I CAN

I WILL

ILL GET YOU RN

hobi: are you not in the same house?

tae: btw namjoon can’t get you lol

cuz yk he can’t drive

so he couldn’t come and get you

i’m just saying

i’m just putting it out there

someone you fuck doesn’t know how to drive

you should drop him

cuz what if you was dying and needed him asap no newjeans

he couldn’t come

cuz he can’t drive

just saying btw

namjoon: i think she gets it

shut the fuck up

jimin: LMAOOOO

namjoon: moving on whoever ordered a box of steak for 10k needs to give me the fucking card back

hobi: ok wtf

i needed that steak

jimin: who tf orders meat

y/n: that sounds gross as hell i hope it was same day delivery

hobi: i’m a chef in the making

namjoon: ur wasting money on stupid shit

hobi: ur just mad you don’t have a 10k golden stake like..

jin: namjoon ur being stingy ass hell

money is money

and we have a lot of it???

who cares what we spend it on?

jk: all unsponsored lions in africa

they care

namjoon: could you guys just be a little more responsible with our money please

just with this card at least

idc what you buy with ur own money but please for the love of god at least give me false hope in believing you are all responsible adults that can make sensible financial decisions

yoongi: thought he was an atheist

jin: that’s what im saying “for the love of god” do u even know him 😭

hobi: does he even want ur love namjoon?

jk: u wrote a lot of words there joon so i’m not gonna read it

but i hope i can still buy my fish

i’ll even get small ones if that makes you happy

y/n: would getting tae a bbl be a responsible financial decision?

tae: can i actually get the card pls

wait what????????????

y/n: or jimin do you want the bbl

jimin: I DO NOT NEED A BBL WHAT THE FUCK??

namjoon: ….

you guys are really fucking annoying yk that?

jimin: DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE JUST SAID

SHE BASICALLY CALLED ME FLAT!!!!

jk: at least it wasn’t fat!

jin: should of been 😒

jimin: OHMYGOD AM I FLAT??

DO I NEED A BBL GUYS OMGS

pls BE HONEST OMG DO I NEED A FUCKING BBL ?

tae: send pics so i can tell you

jimin: SHUT THE FUCK UP

tae: ok wtf i was only trying to help you :/

namjoon can i have the card pls pls pls pls

namjoon: no

y/n: hey ur not flat!!!!!

jimin: SO WHY WOULD YOU SAY I NEED A BBL????

y/n: i asked if you wanted one

i didn’t say that you needed one

jimin: do you think i’m flat

y/n: no!!!!!

jimin: ohmygod i’m gonna kms she thinks i’m flat

yoongi: can you read

jk: y/n can you come home i’m really sad namjoon just cancelled my fish rental for next tuesday

y/n: namjoon give him back his fish rental

namjoon: no

jk: y/n come HOME

y/n: can’t!

jaehyun says hi btw

jk: TELL HIM TO KILLHIMSELF /£:£;7:7,

hobi: so this relationship is for real???

namjoon: can we not

jimin: look at him getting defensive 💀

namjoon: how was that defensive??

i just don’t want us to all argue again

jimin: you can just say ur jealous joon

namjoon: shut up

tae: i’m jealous

hobi: we don’t care

jin: so like can jaehyun drive?

y/n: he can do a lot of things >\\\<

yoongi: don’t care

jimin: LMAOOOOO

wow this is really the best thing to happen to us

y/n: us???

he’s MY boyfriend

tae: my chest just caved in

jimin: sorry yeah he’s your BOYFRIEND

yoongi: we fucking get it omg

moving on

hobi: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

yoongi: tf you giggling for

jk: HEY UR NOT ALLOWED TO GIGGLE

UR RULES HOBI 😡

hobi: today is cheat day

i have to giggle

jk: can i giggle?

hobi: y/n has a boyfriend

jk: SHUT UPSSIJ SHUTUOPSOOOO SDKKDDJDJDJDJDMMEJDJDJEJDJJSJEIDJDJSJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJJDDJJCKXJDJKDKX

namjoon: ok can we solve this card issue

tae: can i have the card pls i need to buy something to stop my heartbeat for a while

namjoon: shut up

hobi: y/n does this mean ur friends with nct now

can i like join them??

pls ask

y/n: ok

jin: omg should we have have a party??

nct x bts

yoongi: no

y/n: can you guys stop trying to cause arguments rn

jin: idk what she’s taking about

hobi: right like??

jimin: think it has something to do with her BOYFRIEND but idk

y/n: …..

jin: so what are you and your BOYFRIEND doing today???

y/n: STOP LAMSOSO

yoongi: so it’s funny now?

y/n: are you fr?

yoongi: i’m just saying lmao

namjoon: ok lets not do this again guys!!

jk: i wish i could do life again

namjoon: ok!

so whose been paying for these flights?

hobi: could be y/n and her BOYFRIEND

y/n: hoseok

hobi: ok sorry last one i’m sorry i’m sorry

jk: do you think reggie has had to deal with heart break like this???

jimin: here he goes 🙄

hobi: bet you all my money he will be drunk in the next hour

jin: hour???

i say the next 5 minutes

namjoon: guys the card??

jimin: namjoon we don’t care??

namjoon: i will punch you in the fucking face

jimin: WOAH??????????

y/n: joon omg

hobi: LMAOSODODJFJ

yoongi: real

jin: i’ll record !!!

tae: my gf said that to me once…

hobi: ??

tae: SIGHS

y/n: i’ll record?

tae: no wtf

the punch you in the face part

y/n: hey i said that

tae: yeah 😞…. yeah you did 😞

jimin: GUYS THERE IS A FUCKING FROG IN MY REFRIGERATOR

IM NOT JOKING

WHY IS THERE A FROG IN THERE

OHMUGOF

GUYS HELP ME

OSHDJCKDJCJD

PLS OHMUGSICODODKF

HELDPDOFKDKFN

JSNDNDND

7:& nfkcjemc

PLS

WHSUSHD WHAT THE FUCKCCKDN

ITS JUMPING IN MY FUCKINH FRIFGE EW EWEW GUYS WHAT THE HELL

jin: always knew he was dirty

hobi: free frog legs

y/n: don’t die

tae: namjoon can i have the black card

yoongi: give up

jimin: THERE IS TWO OF THEM

TWO FUCKMG FROGS HELSODKNDNDNC

HSNDELP HELP

PLS OM BEGHINF

HELP ME

NAMJOON

NmJSODKFNDNCJDJDJJCKC

HELP ME

namjoon: help urself

jk: aw man :/

i feel so sorry for them

birth control ❤️

namjoon: what are you talking about

jk: namjoon i booked a fight to belgium

namjoon: im sorry?

jk: i forgive you

don’t be sorry

chin up king

hobi: tf he yapping about

jk: my fish are going to belgium

yoongi: what

jin: the rented ones?

tae: let’s kill jaehyun

y/n: the 4 billion in 2 months was jungkook?

jk: my fish are ₩20,000 per bucket

not 4 billion the heck

yoongi: wow i’m losing my mind being in this gc

hobi: we can replace you with woozi lol

yoongi: say something like that again and i will break ur neck

hobi: ok WOAH

guys do you see how aggressive he is like???

that’s not right at all

jimin: THE FROGSGUYS OLS OHMUGSICODKDKNDDNDNDN

HELDPDOFKDKDND ENDNCNFMNCNXJDNC

namjoon: jungkook have you been using the card to pay for flights

jk: hybe pays for our fights

namjoon: ok but why did you say you booked a flight to Belgium then???

hobi: its like talking to a 7yr old

jk: no

namjoon: no?

jin: wow he’s making me want to kms

hobi: the soju has taken over!

jk: birth control!

yoongi: shut the fuck up

jk: aw man

who wants fish????

yoongi left “GOLDEN”

namjoon left “GOLDEN”

jin left “GOLDEN”

tae: i’m sorry man

send me those card details later tho!

tae left “GOLDEN”

jimin: WHERE ARE YOU FUCKINGGOFING MY FUCKING FRIDGE HAS FOGS IN IT COME BACK NOW

hobi left “GOLDEN”

y/n left “GOLDEN”

jk: good talk team

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @jmnscutie

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jflemings · 17 days

Note

would you minds sharing any random jessie relationship headcanons you have? you write about it so well in your fics pls let us into your brain lol

— my oddly specific gf!jessie headcanons

pairing: jessie fleming x reader

warnings: nsfw & saw

a/n: got this ask and kept it in the drafts so i could just keep adding to it when a thought popped into my head :)

if any of my headcanons inspire fics please please please tag me!!! i’d love to see your take on them <3

- took soooooooo long to ask you out because she kept psyching herself out

- spoke with such confidence that it was honestly a shock to you when she told you she was nervous

- talked about you all the time to her friends and family before they ever actually met you

- introduces you to her sister before the rest of her family (mainly bc elysse begged to meet you)

– she has tiktok only so you can send her videos and you’re the only one she follows

– she takes soooo many photos of you

loves taking embarrassing ones just so she can laugh at them later

– sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door

– is an absolute pain in the ass to go furniture shopping w because she reads everything on the label

– early bird

– not super big on pda but insists on holding your hand everywhere you go

– she doesn’t really celebrate her goals but if she knows you’re in the crowd she’ll point to wherever you’re sitting and blow you a kiss

– if you get married she gets your first initial tattooed on her inner left bicep closest to her heart

– easily embarrassed by compliments

– likes to read her book with your head in her lap

– makes the best bacon and eggs, i don’t make the rules

– if you drink coffee you can bet your ass she memorised your order the first time y’all went out for coffee

– super clingy in the mornings

– makes a playlist of songs that reminds her of you/your relationship

– very attentive gift giver, will take note of even the smallest things you say you like for future reference

– if you’re a reader she’s got your tbr in her notes app so that if she sees a book you’ve been meaning to read she can just get it for you

– likes to give and receive flowers

– a rambler, she’ll talk your ear off if she gets talking about something she really enjoys

that includes you, she talks about you to her teammates all the time

– secret avid pet name user

babe, baby, my girl, sunshine, ALL OF THEM

- blanket hog

- the two of you make a pact to learn something new by the end of the year and she chooses to learn how to play the fucking harmonica

- she gets rlly good at it tho

- picks out your outfit for game days

- loves having baths with you

doesn’t get to do it often but when she does she goes all out: bath bomb/bath salts, candles, her kindle. the whole lot

- talks during movies if she doesn’t know what’s going on

“why’d he do that” “jess i don’t know, we’re watching the same movie”

- not a big tv series watcher but will sit with you while you watch it

- loves her documentaries though

- does a really good david attenborough impression

- is ridiculously competitive when it comes to monopoly and twister

- which is funny because she’s shit at twister

- likes to be close to you at all times

if the whole couch is free she’ll still sit next to you, thigh to thigh

- doesn’t like to argue but will if she feels strongly enough about it

- she can honestly be kinda condescending in arguments without even realising it

definitely comes from her role as a leader

- she asks you multiple times through the day what you’re thinking about just because she likes to know what’s going on inside you head

- likes to do normal, everyday things with you like chores. honestly doesn’t even care that she has to vacuum the whole house, she just likes that fact that the two of you are cleaning together

- as clingy as she is she also really likes her alone time and will often take herself to a corner of the house to just mellow out, especially if she’s been around people a lot that day

- she’ll always come and find you with a smile on her face when she’s ready to though

- loves to update you on her day when she’s away. she’s been known to send you photos of anything and everything when she’s with team canada

- likes to get you lil something from every city she visits if she can

- you display all the trinkets she gets you on a shelf

- when you first started dating she’d write you letters as a way to express her emotions because she didn’t feel like she could properly communicate them directly to you

she gives them all to you on your wedding day

- she’s just so so so so in love with you

NSFW

– generally soft during sex unless she’s high off a win, pissed off or been away from you for too long

– is a switch lol

– gets pleasure from you being pleasured, she’d eat you out for hours if you let her because she likes knowing that she can get you off

- also a biiiiiiiiiiiiig fan of using a strap, absolutely loves the way you look when she bottoms out

- is surprisingly vocal in bed

- has a massive praise kink it’s literally insane

- she came untouched once bc she was fucking you w her strap and you were telling her how good she was doing

- likes when you scratch down her back but can’t let you do it often bc of the shared change room

- once went to training with a scratched up back and sam never let her live it down

- isn’t super experienced but she is observant so she figures out what you like really early on

- made it her personal mission to fuck you on every surface of your new place when the two of you moved to portland

- is a big fan of morning sex

- not a big fan of shower sex

- also is a fan of make up sex

- tries to give you as many orgasms as physically possible in one round (four is her record) (she intends to beat it)

- aftercare queen

- is pretty firm with what she does and doesn’t like and isn’t usually one to go out of her comfort zone unless the two of you have discussed it before

- refuses to hit you during sex. she’s just not comfortable with it

- doesn’t really like choking either but she does like having her hand on the base of your neck without applying any pressure

also goes absolutely feral when you do it to her

- definitely prefers to have sex in the comfort of your own home

- the two of you got caught by niamh once because jess was too loud as you ate her out

neither of you could look her in the eye for about a week afterwards and jessie endured so much teasing

- isn’t one to have drunk sex but she does like just having her hands under your bra so she can cup your breasts. she doesn’t know why, it just happens when the two of you are going to bed after a night out

- is the biggest tease in the world

- will rile you up and then pretend she has no idea what she’s doing

- has insane stamina and will go for rounds until she physically can’t

- can get really cocky during sex, especially when she knows you’re about to cum

- if she’s had a really shit day/week she likes to be overstimulated just to get all of her negative emotions out

#pegs answers #jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming headcanons #jessie fleming blurb #woso #woso x reader #woso blurb #woso imagine #woso fic #woso headcanons

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pseudophan · 13 days

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they’re soooooooo unserious that up and down look literally gave ME butterflies like are y’all okay?? are we allowed to look??

genuinely its so funny when dnp do something intimate on screen cause like i KNOW they deliberately filmed it and included it in the final edit but i'm still sat here like....... man am i being creepy and invasive for looking at this........

#answered

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dragonnnfly · 1 year

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Your memes kill me I love seeing them they're so funny I can't stop smiling <3 <3 <3 <3

ANON! Anon, this makes me so happy! I know that they’re one of my most popular content, but oh still makes me so happy!

Soooooooo, here you go!

Httyd + Tumblr

#SMILE MY DEAR ANON #SMILE #but no kidding asks like these make my day #httyd #how to train your dragon #hiccup #rtte #race to the edge #fishlegs #Hiccstrid #Snotlout #Dagur #httyd 2 #memes #edit #Tuffnut #httyd + text posts #ask #Anon

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burntb4bydoll · 11 months

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Hii so just wondering if your comfortable and not trying to pressure you at all but I read bill with a bratty reader headcannons do you think you could do a actual one shot of it? If you are could it be the 2000’s bill ? Thanks either way!

Btw your works are soooooooo good❤️

yes ofccc! I would never turn down a Bill x bratty reader ask😍🤭 im gonna do 2009 Bill because thats one of my fav Bill eras, but you can read it as whatever era you prefer!

Bill Kaulitz x fem!reader

Warnings: mean to soft dom Bill, slapping, spanking, choking, degrading, praising, a bit of crying, theres no real sex he just punishes reader

Bills eyes followed you from across the room and he knew that you could feel him watching you. You guys were hanging out with the rest of the band and a few other friends at Tom and Bills house, and you had been a little brat the whole time. From sending smug looks towards him after grinding into his lap to giving him an attitude and disobeying his orders to knock it off. His breaking point was when you sassed him in front of Georg, successful embarrassing him when Georg laughed at him for letting you talk to him like that.

��Y/n. Get over here, now.” Anyone could tell by his voice that he was angry at you. But no one else seemed to hear his words, all focused on their own conversations. Your feet scrambled towards him, a new sense of fear and excitement flooding your body at the cold tone of his voice. Once you reached him he immediately yanked you by your wrist, pulling you towards his bedroom. He pulled you roughly into the room and locked the door behind him.

“You think you’re so fucking funny huh?” Your jaw dropped slightly as his hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing it just enough to make you gasp. You tried to answer him but when you opened your mouth no words came out. His hand around your throat tightened and other hand comes up and delivers a smack to your cheek. You whine at the feeling, and look up at him with big eyes.

“I asked you a question, brat. You’re really testing me today, aren’t you.” You quickly shake your head no and finally speak up,

“I’m sorry Bill, I didn’t mean to make you mad.‘m sorry..” you tried to make yourself sound sincere, but your words came out of your mouth sounding desperate and whiny. He scoffed and let go of your throat, throwing you onto his bed after. Your body bounces slightly against the mattress before he climbs over your shorter frame.

“Don’t lie to me. I’m not stupid. Do you think I’m stupid, baby?” Everything you did seemed to fuel his anger more.

“No. No you’re not stupid Bill. I-im sorry.” He doesn’t let you finish your sentence before hes yanking your pants off of you, and almost ripping your shirt off.

“Such a desperate little thing huh? Couldn’t wait until everyone left, just had to go and piss me off so that I would fuck you.” You whimper at his words, reaching your hands up to rest on his shoulders.

“ ‘M sorry! I just wanted your attention! You were ignoring me this morning..” it was true. He was too caught up in his own activities this morning and accidentally ignored your attempts to give him your affection. His face softened when he remembered what he had done.

“Aww, is that why you were acting out? Im sorry honey.” All sighs of anger vanished from his voice, now speaking to you in a sincere tone.

“Just wanted you to notice me..” you whispered, closing your eyes as he leans down to give you a passionate but gentle kiss.

“I know, im sorry. But you know I still gotta punish you, right?” You nodded, looking up at him to make eye contact. “Lay on your stomach baby.” You did as you were told, and turned your head around to look at him. He pulls off his belt and grabs your hands, using it to tie your wrists behind your back. His cold hand runs over your ass before landing a hard slap against it., making you yelp and kick your legs out.

“Ahh Bill-!” Your yelp was cut off by his hand covering your mouth.

“Shhh, everyones gonna hear you baby. Be a good girl and stay quiet.” He moved his hand away from your mouth and landed another smack to your ass, a red handprint already starting to form. You dig your face into the pillow to muffle your cries. He lays about 3 more smacks on your now red and bruised butt before rubbing it gently, making am attempt to sooth your burning skin.

“Bill… it stings..” you whimper, just wanting more of his attention.

“I know sweetheart, thats the whole point.” He laughs, still caressing your skin.

#bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz smut #tokio hotel x reader #georg listing x reader #gustav schafer x reader #tokio hotel smut #tom kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel #tokio hotel fanfic

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mrs-monaghan · 7 months

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Hi Shaz! Im feeling so down today, i had been stressed out for the whole week as I have 2 audits and 2 assessment for this month, I dis not pass one of my assessment today. Pls give me some Jikook content to lift my spirit up 😘 I know reading ur blogs will make me feel good, that’s why I run here after hahahah

I got u my lovely. There is never shortage of Jikook content! I didn't do it when u asked me but better late than never, no?

To start us off, how soft is this image?

No seriously, how soft is that?

(Which reminds me, @youaremy-parkfilter I haven't 4go10 your ask. I just haven't had time to rewatch the episode but I will, I promise)

It's a subconscious act too, that's what I love about it. Their size difference though! Gets me everytime

I love them sm 😩😩😩😩😫😫😫😫

Okay, okay. Let's get it together. Too fluffy..too much fluff. I know just the thing to get me back on track. 😏 see this photo of JK where he looks like a professional wrecker?

No, but he really do be looking like he does indeed wreck Jimin seven days a week 🥵 Anyway, remember how he adjusts the Jungkonda during this clip? Isn't it funny who he's talking about while he does that? 🤭🤭🤭

😂🤣😂 Look, this isn't what you would call a typical Jikook moment. It's just one of those things someone with a brain like mine would notice, alright? It's JK adjusting himself, of course I noticed. But it was JK adjusting himself while talking about Jimin. 🤭🤭🤭

Moving onnnnnnn.... what do you reckon Jikook have been saying to eo all these years?

And why do they have to be that close? Its that lack of personal space thing they've always had going on 🤭

Anyway, let's do a tiny analysis because we can. I was watching this because it doesn't matter how long you've been around there is always BTS content to catch up on, and I noticed something that really tickled me.

So Jimin was asked to pretend he's preventing his gf from breaking up with him. V wanted to pretend to be the gf but JK quickly beats him to it.

He stands up incredibly fast and stops infront of Jimin 😂😂 JK did not want another member to play this role. He really wanted to be Jimin's pretend girlfriend 🤭🤭🤭

The best part though, is when Jimin still names his girlfriend Jeon Jungkook. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I'm sorry but that was too funny to me. Jimin and his girlfriend Jungkook 🤭🤭 Not RM finding it cringy 😂😂😂 RM's reactions never fail y'all.

Then, Jimin was asked to pick an actress he would love to work with.

And so he did.

Then an outraged JK was like, what about me???

Umm... okay? You're not even on the list bro, maybe chill? 🤭😂

It's the little things guys. It's the little things. And of course satellite Jikook are sitting next to eo. 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

Next I'm gonna share this extremely soft Jikook moment. Like, he didn't even hurt him. That punch was so soft and yet here Jimin is just hugging on JK and apologising for the clearly painless punch. But its the tight hug at the end for me 🥺

Alrighty! Back to another BV analysis. So remember when they went to that tourist place with all the dinosaur carcasses and Jimin was soooooooo excited? As soon as he spotted it he told us about how he loves dinosaurs

He couldn't wait to get off the ATV and ran towards it.

And there he goes telling RM all about it. Super super excited he is.

As soon as he was given the go ahead he got inside one of them.

Now, JK could you please tell us your favourite animal just one more time?

Thank you JK ☺☺☺

Out of the million things Jikook have in common, quickly add dinosaurs to the list if you haven't. 🥰🥰

While we are on BV there is this one moment that I didn't understand. Like Jimin was just there... he wasn't even talking it was RM and someone else talking. But JK was just.... staring at Mimi

Like for no reason. And as soon as Jimin turned back to his food JK quickly looks away.

This JK habit absolutely fascinates me. Like fr fr. What is it? What goes on? Like Mr. Jeon can you speak your thoughts outloud? That's your man, you've known him for years, why do you look at him like you've never seen him before? It's just... I don't understand... but I know it ain't normal. Like, friends don't just stare at their other friends for no reason.

Okay so I just thought this was cute

And this will always be very eyebrow raising for me. Why u blushing for your bandmate Jimin?

And why does JK always look so cocky when that happens? 🤔 Guess we'll never know 🤷🏽‍♀️

Satellite Jeon my favourite! Look at him be subtle!

Oh what's that? V showing Jimin his phone?

Oops, JK must know what Jimin is looking at. On time, like clockwork. Peekaboo!

This one i clicked on by accident but I'm not mad at it. For me, It's how deep Jimin's fingers are digging into an erogenous part of JK's body 😏

Sorry I'm late my dear. But hope this post finds you well 💚💚💚

In conclusion:

#bon voyage Jikook #jikook analysis #whipped jk #whipped jungkook #satellite jeon #ask shaz #bts ask #jikook is real #if jikook isn't real then neither I'm i #jikook #jimin and jungkook #kookmin #minkook #bts #jimin #jungkook #park jimin #jeon jungkook #satellite jikook

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thedeafprophet · 3 months

Text

Soooooooo ive been Observing still and looks like That Asshole from the previous days on the reddit and forums is back and isn't even using a different name

annnnnd has moved onto lowkey pretty blatant homophobia???

im gonna put the rest under the cut cuz yall are probably getting tired of me observing this troll but im nebby af

lmfao????? the instigation a) that FBG are at all 'upper' middle class. im sorry but while i agree they cant neccesarily fully understand the class divides of victorian era england and appproach revolutionary matters fully the right way..... indie game developers are not my idea of upper class people.

but the worst part here is the instigation that because they write queer romance that you can't write about working class issues... which is the homophobic talking point that being queer is a trend invented by well off people....

good lord. at least the dudes other talking points were as bad as this. its gone from funny to blatantly wrong and bigoted.

#eugh #fl fandom nonsense #<- new tag for whenever i post stuff like this #how gross #i tried making an account to report (and also just to protect my username just in case lol)#and i still cant see the report button after someone said it exists. hmph

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bucktommys · 1 year

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Hey! Can i ask you for buddie fic recs with many chapters or like one shots but very long ones? You are so great at recs 😍

oh thank u so so much!!! im so glad my frantic fic reading pays off in some way haha

ok here are some faves (most of these are 40k/50k+ !)

come love, by @colonoscopys - oh my WORD this fic !! where do i begin with this fic !!!!! basically buck is like a rich ceo and eddie is a bodyguard assigned to him and UGH its sooooo good. an absolute enemies to lovers SERVE, cannot recommend enough

stranger sunlight, still by @mmtions - i mean yall know how i feel about social media aus. buck has a secret thirst trap insta and eddie accidentally ends up kinda catfishing him, oh its SO good i devoured this in 1 sitting and its so so good

let's hear it for the boy by @hattalove - oh this fic !!!! kris has several gorgeous longer fics (tell me about despair BELOVED) but this one is my personal favourite, its so beautiful and i felt so tender and squishy after reading it. buddie adopting reluctant grouchy 20yo my BEST FRIEND !!

pretty much any fic by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels aka the queen of the multichapter buddie au. i cant even pick a favourite because i adore so so many of them but i did recently reread don't play games (come my way) which is her the hating game au and its SO good. also omg her reincarnation soulmates cowboy au too. mads im obsessed with you

stupid people by @gayhoediaz - ugh SAURRR good oml. eddie explores his newly discovered queerness by hiring a sex worker aka buck and UGH its so good if u love pining and slow burn and angst this is The Fic for u

never felt this way before (yes i swear) by @rewritetheending - dirty dancing au!!!!!!! i admittedly have never watched dirty dancing but i consumed this fic like a rabid animal, its so so good. also the idea of eddie sexy swing dancing literally lives rent free like the thought of it makes me kinda white out

hurt locker by @bvckandeddie - this is sort of like canon au adjacent if that makes any sense. basically classic eddie enlists after shannon falls pregnant but this time he and buck are already friends and buck joins with him. i cannot express how sweet this fic is, the slow burn is MAGNIFICENT and ugh. the best friends to lovers goes SO hard

keep me as your finish line by @thatbuddie - gym buddy (heh) au !!!!!! so so good, SO much fun, buck is so funny in this and its so sweet, cannot recommend even nearly enough

even when the night changes by @fallingthorns - yeah. this fic 🫶 i don't know how to describe this fic other than it's canon compliant and buck and eddie adjust to adult life together and its soooooooo soft it like makes me Ache, you know those fics?? i would get this tattooed on me if i could. so good

anyway that is so many sdafhhdsfhd and i have like 1000 more so plz let me know if u want me to make a p2 to this list because i could keep going

#ask #anonymous #fic rec #fic rec list #i have realised most of these are aus oops

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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months

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Heyy me again so about the creepypasta thing, I just wondered if you can do Ben drowned with a gen z reader platonically? It's okay if your uncomfortable doing it ><

Ben drowned x gen z!reader (platonic!)

not uncomfortable at all! love that im getting ben drowned requests since i enjoy him a lot and kind of want to write for him more; just strictly platonic ..which reminds me, i need to draw him again soon! gonna answer this then take a break and get back to requests yipe!

admin is still sold on the idea of ben being confined to electronics most of the time so i can easily see him gaining access to your devices so he can pester you whenever he wants; though this may get a little annoying since youre... well still alive! you have a life

whether or not the reader is a creepypasta themselves or is a normal person is up to you! i think both can work, though i must say the idea of the reader being just some random person is really funny. like can you imagine? you get some haunted virus but the ghost is chill an you guys become friends

i do think ben can only mess with devices, i dont think he can mess with like. any internet browser stuff.... which segways me to my next idea; the og creepypasta came out in 2010, majoras mask came out in 2000, so putting it in the middle lets say ben died in 2005.. bro has missed a lot. youre going to have to fill him in on a lot of stuff, and boy let me tell you hes going to be going nuts

tell him about the new legend of zelda games. i think he would be hyped. throwing admins hc of ben being sick and tired of LOZ due to being trapped in the game out the window, admin needs this boy to get joyous!

he probably pesters you and asks you about the dumbest shit, does it on purpose because he thinks its funny

sometimes you guys play video games together, bro is absolutely astounded by how far games have come since he passed away. i think he would go insane over five nights at freddys. fill him in on the lore

going back on the video game stuff and playing together, just know that hes going to break the game and cheat + hes a sore loser, soooooooo...

do you think sometimes he comes and tries to spend time with you more and more over time because hes been stuck for years and hasnt really had many people to talk to? like yeah hes an angry spirit, but even angry spirits deserve friends!!!

ponders

probably messes with you by messing with your recordings if youre trying to make a video/tiktok/reel/what have you

probably interjects his own texts into your posts, never really says anything harmful, just messes with spelling or adds dumb messages

honestly its not your SM account/blog, its yalls shared account/blog now/j

stuck with old 2000s humor but i think he would absolutely love present day humor and how unhinged its gotten, though quick warning hes going to start quoting stuff

definitely quotes the sticking out your gyatt thing, hes going to drive you insane with it and hes going to laugh at you

do not play roblox tycoons with him hes going to bully small children

you guys play a horror game together on roblox and you can hear him freaking out through the speakers (likely using an old device for him so youre not fighting for control over one device)

absolutely DEVASTED when you tell him club penguin shut down

just know hes punching the metaphorical wall

on the rare chance ben is able to pull himself into the real world for a brief period of time, you guys probably do the same stuff hes just physically there for a short time!

make him touch grass while hes out, bro hasnt touched grass in nearly 20 years. this isnt even a haha "hes chronically online" joke, he hasnt actually touched grass in years due to circumstances

closing this with a hit of angst that made me go :( but imagine that it starts out as you guys being around the same age (well... close enough, since ben doesnt age anymore due to being a ghost) but overtime, you obviously grow up and have less and less time for him and :(

like owie

"what happened to us? we used to be best friends?" audio but its you two SOBS AND CRIES

#creepypasta x you #creepypasta x reader #ben drowned x reader #ben drowned x you #ben drowned imagine #ben drowned headcannon #creepypasta imagine #creepypasta headcannons

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