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#it's short but i'm a lazy fucker who can't be assed to bring up tons of examples
mxtxmuse · 4 years
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wangxian as an unhealthy relationship dynamic
before you click the ‘read more’, please understand that this entire post is based off absolutely nothing! you are not obligated to read or agree with this opinion. it really is just one of my stupid “what if..!!!” ideas. if this is fine with you, go ahead and enjoy the thoughts!
for people who don’t know the common fandom naming : - lwj = lan wangji - wwx = wei wuxian - wangxian = romantic couple pairing of lan wangji and wei wuxian
so, the people reading this might think, ‘WTF? how can you say wangxian is unhealthy?’ please keep reading, and take my opinions lightly, because they’re not intended to be serious and deep analysis.
my idea of ‘unhealthy’ here means that, that in a post-canon setting, there is a possibility that wangxian will be unable to maintain a long lasting, stable, and happy relationship.
of course, this ignores canon ideas that wangxian lives happily ever after. because this is just a theory about how things could happen.
every relationship definitely has an unhealthy or so-called “toxic” aspect. wangxian can’t possibly be the exception. so every relationship has issues, but canon wangxian doesn't need to because canon wangxian is the Ultimate Fantasy of a Perfect Relationship with Zero Consequences, because this is a fictional relationship that fulfils our (the readers) fantasies.
what do I mean?
basically.. my idea is that, what if lwj has been in love with an image of wwx, and after getting together and things settle down, he realises that the wwx he's in love with isn't the reality that he's living with?
they spent very little actual time with each other before wwx died, and much of that time was spent not really communicating. wwx teased lwj a lot, but that was wwx being a ‘delinquent’ student and fooling around the way straight guys always do. and lwj had an obvious crush on wwx, but very little of this intention was actually expressed to wwx, and lwj’s crush doesn’t come from a place of understanding. it seems to me that lwj liked the image of wwx that he had in his mind, and this image of wwx is the one that he held on to even after wwx died.
it’s like having a very intense crush in high school, and maintaining that idea of your crush all the way until they disappear from your life, and then being so obsessed with this crush that when they do come back in an unrecognisable appearance, you recognise them right away.
(of course, there are a lot of things in canon that match perfectly so that wangxian isn’t as weird as i’m making it to be in this post, but the point of this post is that, what if it wasn’t that way? what if these specific things didn’t work out for the two of them?)
for example, when lwj recognised wwx by that specific tune he played for wwx in the xuanwu cave. for someone to recognise it immediately, it means wwx and that tune has been on his mind frequently enough, or recently enough. isn’t that kind of creepy? to be continuously thinking about someone who died at least 10 years ago?
and then, in wwx’s second life, lwj making it such that wwx is dependent on him, bringing wwx back to gusu with him and taking care of all of wwx’s needs. because of this, they fall in love under a circumstance where wwx is basically depending on lwj for almost everything - safety, food, protection, emotional support, etc.. and lwj is chasing after the idea of wwx from his memories.
when things go back to some kind of normal, and wwx feels safe enough that he isn't pressured to respond to lwj's emotions, i wonder what will happen? what if the wwx that lwj fell in love with isn’t the wwx that exists in reality? what if wwx realises that his feelings were something like a fluke, a stress response to a bad situation, or feelings of ‘oweing’ lwj for all the pain he suffered for wwx, and it was really just dependence on lwj that fuelled his confession, not actually love?
and for lwj, even though he put in so much pain and effort and emotions into this relationship, what if they just can't match well, and wwx frustrates him more than he is endearing, and their styles and ideals and everything about them are so impossible to reconcile. there is so much miscommunication even though lwj does his best to communicate and it feels like wwx isn't even trying... that kind of frustration that begins to appear when a couple like wangxian wears out of their honeymoon phase, a couple whose history is full of miscommunication, having different communication styles and pre-existing assumptions about each other that may be wrong, and not clearing up these assumptions.
(of course there is a chance that they will work it through easily, or that lwj loves wwx for who he is and the ideal wwx matches with the real wwx, etc, which is what mdzs basically ends with, but there's also a possibility that something will go wrong somewhere...)
and tbh, I can see a lot of potential problems in their relationship, which is why I like them up until they get together and are in their honeymoon phase.
In a world where these problems in their relationship have consequences, wangxian seems to me like a couple that has an unstable foundation, that will split apart without a lot of effort on both sides. And, I can’t really see them putting in so much effort into a relationship when, so far in their lives, relationships have always ended poorly (especially on wwx’s side, which is the most important. lwj has been putting in all the effort so far, and i don’t see wwx putting in as much effort because he’s been burned so many times by his past experience with interpersonal closeness.)
if they were a real couple (which they’re obviously not) I feel like they would break up soon after things stabilise in their life.
so yes, that’s why i think wangxian could be potentially seen as unhealthy, basically. their relationship has many unaddressed issues that continue to be brushed aside for the sake of our (the readers) fantasy. which is fine with me because I am also one of these people who enjoy this fantasy of “no consequences”.
tldr; I love MDZS setting wangxian, but I can’t see them in a long term relationship post-canon.
(sorry about the weird grammar, my english-speaking brain has been offline lately
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