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simmonsized · 2 years

Note

Okay, I was going to write something about how I was happy about how you approached the subject matter with Bro and Dave in TRaG

But

My mind suddenly remembered what their sprites freaking look like.

I think about Bro Strider a lot (along with the complexity of the other characters) and then *boom*, I remember what he looks like in the comic.

Damn you fanart!!!!

TBH i was just showing my friend some of the homestuck pages to be like "look do u see do u see" and of course they're just like. their dumb big heads and lil bodies but somehow that just makes it all the better bc i know sO many people who are like "I couldn't get into homestuck because nothing happens" and i'm like yes but nothing happens in a SATISFYING way anyway their sprites are dumb but i still love them

ALSO: you were "going to write something" but you have already said enough to set me on my path here we are grab my hand welcome to nam etc etc etc

This really only encompasses Dave the God's relationship with Bro but like. It'd be too long to talk about Dave the Used to Be Sprite so! Forgive me.

WARNING: this post is 2000 words, I cannot and will not cut it shorter. If it's killing your dash, I'm begging you, mute me, or block the post.

Here we go!

Okay, so the thing is, when it comes to Bro, I have a really complicated history with him. Because obviously for YEARS he was the fandom darling, and we all kinda brushed off the fuckin' training and shit because that's just like, anime hullabaloo, the concept that he was preparing Dave for the game, but then also, when you take a step back and look at it, it's not like Dave KNEW there was a game at all??? and like. okay so just straight up right now i'm saying this FUCK hussie but these particular notes in book 2 of homestuck

kinda really changed things about the way we look at Bro as a person, as well as Dave's conversation with Dirk, though that comes along later. No comment on that line about Bro apparently """training""" Dave to take on the final boss. Because. Well. Lmfao. (Notes above are from Beatdown Rounds 1 and 2 in book 2 of Homestuck)

Enter: Dirk and Dave's conversation, basically the beginning of my insane deep dive into all things Strider, and dealing openly with abuse, past abuse, and recovery from that abuse.

obviously I cannot post the whole convo, it's easier for people to just read it BUT some highlights for context:

The start of it for me of course was "and he's dead now so that's that"

which is like. Kind of how it actually is when you have a parent (or insane older brother who is actually your parent) who dies but you're unable to EVER discuss your relationship with them or even confront them on all the horrible shit that went down, if you ever get to that point at all.

And because Bro was like, basically a giant fucking deadzone of just. Nothingness in terms of Dave's brain, when it came to any kind of positive emotion, it just??? Man that's one of the most interesting things about their relationship to me. Dave says "i think he hated me" but it really feels like, from their conversation, the fact that Bro did not express any kind of emotion at ALL led to what Dave felt must be fucking LOATHING. Man. I feel terrible for typing "and i find that fascinating" but i do so. lol

Insert "violent robot" comment here lol

also i know people have Opinions about Bro and his smuppets but tbh I don't want to fucking hear them when Dave was running around with a tiny smuppet butt walkytalky on his fucking wrist and also, when Dirk, mr "They're a funny little critter of your own design" Strider is sitting right fucking there so. Anyway that's all u need to know about that.

okay i lied i'm posting like the whole conversation i realize that u know but it's just

man it's right there lol

i LOVE that Dave associates Bro with the concept of heroism and being a savior of some kind, because in truth, it is likely that beneath all the bullshit, and even in line with the fear, there is a good chance Dave did admire Bro, to a point, until he had time to sit back and realize, "hey, what the FUCK was up with my childhood??? and wait, this isn't actually funny at ALL."

What's (not) funny to me is that, I don't much think of Bro as the kind of person who saw himself as a hero at all, and I say as much in RNG, but for him, and yes, this is a fucked up thing to say, I see it as: he saw raising Dave as A Job He Needed To Do, and everything in between Didn't Matter. We'll get more into this and the Dirkesian aspects of Dave's upbringing, even without Lil Cal, if anyone ever asks me about my genuine honest to god Bro Strider Personality Discourse but like. Basically dude's hells of about efficiency, and this is evidenced in the way that Dirk tends to push his friends, sometimes past the point of their personal comfort levels, in order to achieve a goal. I hardly feel like I'm reaching here.

And you know it does matter to me, that even though he is saying this to Dirk, he still says, "I didn't like you very much" because it's SUCH a thing with complicated relationships, it's SO much ingrained in our upbringings to love our parents, even if they completely fuck us up, irreparably. Am I saying that you HAVE to love your abusive parent??? dude FUCK no like, everyone's situation is different and there are always going to scenarios where broaching the subject is impossible, or something you don't want to do but

Well. It's my fucking fic and my take so! I have decided we're doing it, we're making it happen etc

Enter: Lil Cal and the potential for?????? Whatever was going on there

Obviously in RNG we take Lil Cal and Caliborn's tendency towards disgust for any kind of positive emotion, platonic or otherwise, and like, ok not to shit on caliborn i know that guy is just a little kid but lil cal is like, basically intended to be representative of Bad Things in the homestuck world so it's like. That's where we're at u know. Gestures above where it says "theoretically the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever" And u know yes this doll also had AR inside it, as well as Equius so???????? Fucking dude who KNOWS what's goin on with lil cal. Nothing good?????? Anyway

So then now that we have all this context, we take Dirk Strider, and we isolate him even further than previously thought possible, we give him the "theoretically most evil doll to exist in any universe ever," we wind him up, we watch him go.

That creates a baseline for my own personal little Bro guy which is "Dirk Strider with a Singular Purpose" and whose purpose was only to "Raise Your Player to Survive The Game" with a side of, man part of Dirk's still gotta be in there because holy fuck does this guy LOVE PUPPETS. which is fine u know. puppets i mean. muppet references. wow.

Bro Thoughts, Bro in Relation to Dirk, etc. U know how it be.

OKAY SO: starting with "It doesn't change my past or how I feel about him.... and I'm sure that's the only feeling I'll ever have about him."

For me, this is an easy thing to say when this person is dead. It's exTREMELY EASY to say when you will never see this person again, or have a confrontation with them, or even have to like, address it in regards to an interaction that hides your true feelings but you know, deep down, that they hurt you.

Basically, homestuck ended, I'm happy Dirk and Dave met in the middle with something like Understanding and Solidarity, but I just. Was so angry about Davesprite. And also wanted to get all up in the relationship between the Daves and Bro SO, SO SOSOSOSOSOOO BAD.

So then I did!

And basically, along with being a guy with no purpose, who, for all intents and purposes, would literally rather be dead, it's super interesting because like. Bro is Dirk, and I know people vary on mind control versus influence, but I like to lean into the concept of some kind of Influence, or PUSH but also that Bro was very much in control of his actions, and knew, to a point, that he was doing what he was doing. I just genuinely don't think he believed it was wrong, or if he did KNOW it was wrong, he was not going to stop, because at the end of the day, he was seeing results. Is that cruel??? yes. Is it cruel to both of them???????? hell yes. But efficiency and work and results are the baseline for a successful session, and that's uh.

I think of Bro as a man of just like. Pantshittingly terrifying Control, a dude who not only cares about results from Dave, but from himself, and whether that's Cal or Dirk talking, who really knows!

think all the time about the time Hussie said that Bro has never slashed Dave with his sword. I know the fandom doesn't mention it much lol but it's always on my mind. No, punching and kicking your teenage bro-son is not better. But it's fascinating, that that's where he chose to draw the line.

Perhaps because as they said, sword strikes tend to end in people's deaths. Hmm.

Anyway since the Thesis of RNG is based around Reconciliation, but not necessarily forgiveness, at least not as an outright stated thing, we see a lot of just. Talking in circles, circling the drain, over and over. Naval gazing, I love it. Can you tell???

The thing with past abuse, about loving a parent who hurts you, is that you can still love them, after they hurt you, and You do not Have to Forgive them, but you can still love this person, and you can see hope to and seek change. You can still want a relationship with this person.

It's important to me that Bro seeks forgiveness. It is not Dave's (either of them) job to forgive him. There is a reason that (spoilers sorry) Bro says sorry in chapter like, fucking 14, but the fic keeps going anyway. "Sorry" is the beginning. "Sorry" is the start on a path towards better things.

Along with all this is Bro learning to be a person who no longer has a job to do. He's learning to be Dirk Strider again, something he hasn't really reckoned with since he was maybe, what, 13 years old?? His entire life has been dedicated to serving The Timeline, while not necessarily even being connected to his own aspect, at least not in a healthy way, and like. Once again this is not a Post About Bro Strider but bro in context of Bro and Dave so u know, but I do, again, see the guardians as the worst reflections of the kids themselves, and that goes fucking quadruple for Bro! He is the fucked up heart guy who severs connections and is tied up with strings, it is him.

On top of recovering personhood, though, he is also reconciling with (two of the same) a kid he not only abused, but potentially never loved, at least not in a way that makes sense to Dave, or sometimes to the reader. There is resentment, and there is frustration, and there is something to it, losing your own life at the expense of raising a kid. Yes, it's a comic about a video game, but I'm writing a fanfiction, and there is definitely something like overlap, in ineptitude and parenting from a young age. I still believe they had good memories, examples we see in the text where Dave talks about how he and bro had rap battles that were just throwing shit at each other's heads with their sylladices (dangerous) and like, building forts and shit. There is still softness, in the places in between.

But there was cruelty, too, and that's obviously the forefront of the whole situation, and it's so important for Dave to be brave enough to call his Bro out, to demand change, and it's important that Bro WANTS to connect with him, even if he doesn't know how. Even if he's so fucking shitty and sucks SO much.

Obviously a lot of what we learn is from Dave's perspective, and a lot of that comes at the marvel of, wow my Bro is back, and the concept of like, the Ultimate Reward being what the players wanted, and in RNG canon (fake) basically the kids just wanted to fucking. go home lol. John at least definitely deserves to have his dad back!

But Dave's (both daves) not just a little kid anymore, he's had 3 years of development and change and growth, and he has a way of looking at the world that differs vastly from how he grew up. Bro, someone he never knew but felt he knew, and then lost and didn't know all over again, is suddenly a Big Unknown, and that's??? fucking scary! Trying to reconcile with a person you love and fear is one thing, but doing that when you're learning you barely know them as a person at all, particularly because they were like, Just Your Guardian and you'd only known them from the shitty little kid perspective?? makes it tough. It's easy to say "i wish you were dead" it's hard to admit "I don't wish you were dead, I just wish you were better" and! That's kind of where we start lol

RNG has a lot of "three steps forward, two steps back" and as much as that frustrates people (and trust me, I see the comments, I know lol), that's just the way life is sometimes. They're on a set path, and Bro has to fucking learn not only his lesson, but that he can't just change because Dave(s) wants him to change. He has to change because HE wants to change, too.

#THIS IS SO LONG #I'M MORTIFIED #nobody read this please #thanks i barely scratched the surface help help help #this is specifically about #the run and go fic #yes i go on a huge rant about dave BUT like #it's mostly about bro and dave and my fanfiction #which i wrote obviously so i'm mortified but it's fine it's fine it's fine #LONG POST warning

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Buster & Rio

Buster: [fam christmas woooo when you ain't talked to your sister in 4 months either just to make it more awks] Rio: [what a fun time for all, when you are constantly on your phone so much 'cos Ryan won't stop messaging you and wants a play by play Buster: [he'd be drunk before he even got there ffs boy] Rio: [when it's that point in the evening when everyone is playing stupid games tipsy and you just cannot so you go hide in the kitchen] Buster: [let's say he bumps into her literally cos yeah what you need is another drink boy] Rio: [when you literally jump back like 'oh'] Buster: [when you do the thing peeps do to me & go twenty miles out of your way round her] Rio: ['Don't fall, McKenna'] Buster: ['Only for you, babe' too drunk & voice too loud] Rio: [When you swipe his drink off the counter 'fore he can stop you can take a sip and put your finger to your lips like 'shh, idiot' and hand it back to him, shaking your head] Buster: [When you down that drink so you have to get another & be in there longer] Rio: ['tis the season' when even when you're talking you're constantly on your phone and not that bitch and they love eye contact but she's not smiling like 😍 it's more like 😑] Buster: [when you take her phone before she can stop you & put it down where she can't reach it] Rio: [the lowkey panic in your eyes that you try to mask, 'Come on, don't be a dick'] Buster: ['Don't be rude'] Rio: ['Your territory, I know'] Buster: ['You trying to come for my crown now?'] Rio: ['Maybe' trying to move a chair to wherever he's put her phone] Buster: ['Antisocial is closer to the other twin. Try harder' Lifts her up so she can get it cos drunk & shameless] Rio: [When you stop breathing 'til you're back on the ground and then you breathe out so heavily, 'You wanna be social now? Party's in there' points to the lounge] Buster: ['Hopeless romantic is more her thing too' throws the words over his shoulder as he leaves cos he knows about the bf through stalking them socials] Rio: What are you talking about Buster: You love him Buster: It's cute Rio: It's not even been a month Buster: Moving fast is more of a lesbian thing, like I said, Nance will either be thrilled or threatened Rio: Talk to her and see Rio: though you've definitely got better things to catch up on than my dating history Buster: Put your phone down & try it yourself Rio: I see her every day Buster: Run out of shit to say then? Understandable Buster: Probably don't tell her that though Buster: So rude Rio: I'm not trying to take away from your sibling bonding time Rio: soz Buster: You can't take something that don't exist Rio: It exists, you both just choose to ignore it Rio: least it's mutual though so Buster: Nah, it's been scratched out the schedule instead of penciled in Buster: Still siblings no time to bond Rio: Hmm Rio: you're SO busy, yeah Buster: Yeah Rio: Lovely Buster: Not the word Rio: Not so miserable I'm here to listen to the 'stresses' in your life, tah Buster: Never said it was negative, I just don't use old lady vocab, like Buster: You sound like a teacher Rio: 🙄 Rio: Now you're gonna chat shit on my vocabulary, alright private school Buster: I am a pleasure to have in class if you wanna let my parents know Rio: That was the whole point, remember Rio: how would I know Buster: Play really well with others too but probably don't let 'em know how you know that Rio: You'll be wanting to delete that, I presume Rio: surprised you've even got the balls to talk to me at all Buster: How many convos did you start? Buster: I weren't expecting you to jump out of a cake but a happy birthday would've been polite Rio: Likewise Rio: Expecting or fantasizing, you'd have to make a booking Rio: not showing up uninvited, heaven forbid Buster: Mine was first, babe & I ain't never pretended to be that Rio: So if I'd have said it to you, you'd have returned the favour Rio: You're so childish Buster: We'll never know now Buster: What I might've said Buster: Or gifted you Rio: Save it up for sweet 16 Rio: maybe you'll be allowed to talk to me then Buster: Maybe I'll show up in time to stop the wedding Buster: Fingers crossed you don't get knocked up like your mum Rio: Shut up Buster: Only so much your good looks could do to beat the odds of it being an ugly kid Rio: What would you know Buster: Flawless + Fuck ugly = you're right I don't know Buster: Don't wanna Rio: You've never even seen him Rio: don't be so judgmental Buster: Wrong again, babe Buster: Factual more like Rio: Well I clearly don't think so if I love him so much, do I Buster: That'll be all the cum in your eye Rio: So mature Buster: They don't age check on those vids, it's fine Rio: should run a basic IQ test on you Rio: someone who claims to be such a pleasure in class, like Buster: I've done one but I know you hate when I brag about numbers Rio: That's universal Rio: no one but your hanger-on mates wants to hear that Buster: Your friend loved it, she thinks hers is lucky Rio: I'm glad you found someone officially more stupid than you then Buster: That's universal Buster: Applicable in every case, like Rio: Sure she loved being told that too Rio: such a bullshitter Buster: We didn't do that much talking Buster: Once I'd told her what to do, not much else left to say Rio: Why are you still talking Buster: Why are you still replying? Rio: Gotta be on my phone ain't I Buster: Not in this convo though Rio: Well you're blocking my notifications Rio: you'll pussy out soon enough and be gone Buster: Well I'm drunk. Mute me Rio: Take some responsibility for yourself Rio: you always want me to do everything Buster: So you don't want a line then? More for me Rio: That explains why you're talking so much shit Rio: go on then Rio: have to be here so Buster: [brings it to her cos gentlemanly] Rio: [goes off to the bathroom, 'cos learnt something about getting caught, humming white christmas like] Buster: [lols] Rio: Cheers Buster: Merry Christmas Rio: Merry Christmas, Buster Rio: [bringing the baggie back, assuming there's plenty to go around here] Buster: [does his off the kitchen counter cos wants to be where she is] Rio: [rolls her eyes but licks a finger to clean up the excess and sucks it off] Buster: [is 😏] Rio: ['still like danger, do you?] Buster: ['Don't you?'] Rio: ['Obviously'] Buster: [picks her up & puts her on the counter cos throwback & is standing between her legs like close af 'good to know'] Rio: ['How gone are you?' cos what else can you say rn] Buster: [whispers 'depends who you ask' in her ear and puts a finger to his lips like its such a big secret okay boyyy] Rio: [lols, 'thanks for inadvertently answering my question there' but is just looking at him still like #conflict] Buster: [reaches round her to take her drink cos left his in the other room] Rio: ['oi!' pouty face] Buster: [rather than just giving her it back like a normal person, feeds her the drink like this is crepes 2.0] Rio: [into it.com, 'sharing is caring today, huh?'] Buster: [a nod because so much eye contact so much tension who can speak] Rio: [when you're so close now your phone is the only thing between you and then it goes off and you shit yourself] Buster: [angry.com idk whose house they are in but blatantly walks off & punches the wall in potential full view of the fam cos coke ain't your friend boy] Rio: [when you gotta go outside to have that call 'cos not only not wanting him to hear but everyone tbh] Buster: [when everyone's like umm wtf buster but you ain't having it so you storm out & are also outside but the front while she's in the back] Rio: [when every convo is like talking him off a ledge 'cos he's that bitch do not need this Ryan, even a little bit, going back in finally to get a drink 'cos 1. need and 2. hoping he's had the same idea] Buster: [when you're just having a meltdown lowkey] Rio: I'm just sending this in case you want anything but me to fuck off Buster: I can't Buster: Want anything but that Rio: I'm sorry Rio: genuinely Buster: Don't Buster: Just fucking do not Rio: What can I do Rio: tell me and I'll do it Buster: Nothing Rio: that's what you need? Buster: Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, fucking none of it Buster: *Look Rio: Okay Rio: I will Rio: I'm not gonna give out totally empty promises it'll be hard but I will Buster: [When you just yeet like where do you think you're going at Christmas babe] Rio: [Later] Rio: Tell someone where you are Buster: Why would I do that? Buster: & Why would you ask me to? That's a broken promise already Rio: That's what I do Rio: I'm a shit person, like you don't know by now Rio: but they're gonna go out looking if you don't soon so heads up Buster: Let 'em, I don't care about ruining their fun in case you didn't know by now Rio: Alright Rio: if you don't wanna stay where you are Buster: Why? Rio: Know they'll find you Buster: No, why do you love him? Rio: Honestly? Rio: I don't, you can believe that or not but I don't Rio: I'm just trying, you know Buster: I believe it, if only 'cause I want to Buster: That & I've seen him Rio: Alright 😂 Rio: it's not all about looks, general statement, not a declaration of love Buster: He's got that good of a personality, yeah? Rio: Well Rio: said I weren't it love with him, didn't I Rio: he's alright but it really don't go much deeper than that right now Buster: There's no chance he knows that Buster: Unless he's just that chatty with everyone Rio: Yeah Rio: he's a lot Rio: just that type, you know Buster: Do you want me to chat to him? Buster: I can be a lot Rio: Don't think that means you should be besties Rio: it's fine though, honestly Rio: I can handle him, and whoever else Buster: Alright Rio: are you Buster: Don't ask me questions you already know the answer to Buster: You ain't meant to even be talking to me Rio: Yeah Rio: just want the answer to be different Rio: can't be acting surprised, notoriously bad at keeping any kind of promise, and leaving you alone Buster: Maybe Santa will bring you what you want next year, babe Buster: Don't waste your birthday wish though Rio: 🤞 Rio: Sure some other fucker's got to the wishbone too Rio: keep an eye out for shooting stars Buster: Do my best Buster: Any less isn't an option, like Rio: Nah Rio: what can I say if you don't? Rio: see, best gift of all yeah Rio: room to breathe Buster: I know that ain't yours to me, someone's fucked with that tag Rio: Yeah, I just got you socks but worth trying to claim it Rio: you got me Buster: Socks have their uses Buster: Cold feet or otherwise Rio: Yeah, think of me whenever your feet are cold Rio: 😂 Buster: Obviously Rio: Where are you then Buster: You're not getting an invite Rio: Just curious Rio: Anyway, with you gone and them out looking, I've got the drinks to myself now so tah Buster: Shame it's not the house Buster: That'd be worth coming back for Rio: Stay gone a few hours more maybe the search party will include rugging up all the kids Rio: keep you posted on how special you are Buster: Cheers Rio: it's just your da and granddad Rio: which I did point out probably wasn't the best team when assumedly you've found a pub that's open Rio: might have to stop for a pint, even if you ain't Rio: rude not to Buster: & I had my money on mum & Nance, gutted Buster: The fan club's a fucking sham Rio: shit state of affairs, honestly Rio: where's janis when you need her Rio: sure she'd find you Buster: Only if you'd started searching first Buster: & Were about to find me Rio: That would've been a well good excuse Rio: just tryna find enlightenment it's okay Rio: my ma would buy it and she's the nosiest so Buster: There was a ticket to Heaven on offer so Rio: should've come on the search, like Rio: knew I'd fuck up the talking one so reckoned I could at least go a day or two without looking Rio: if I played it right Buster: I still haven't been found Buster: If you wanna do the honours Rio: Hide and seek Rio: what do I win? Buster: I told you not to ask when you already know the answer Rio: Okay Rio: wish its me that finds you 'cos awkward if it's them Buster: I don't need hope or wishes, remember Buster: Neither do you Buster: Not for this Rio: Okay Rio: no cheating, I'll know Buster: I swear Buster: Head boy's honour, like Rio: are you actually head boy now Buster: Did you actually think I wouldn't be? Rio: Didn't doubt you for a second Rio: hot Rio: in a nerdy way Buster: I'd have brought the badge if I'd have known you were so into it Rio: I know this christmas was going pretty shocking but you've really ruined mine now Buster: [sends her a pic of him when he was wearing it] Buster: You bring me problems, I offer you solutions Rio: 😍 Rio: If you ever go proper missing, make sure they use that Rio: well inspiring Buster: I can do better, but they can't show that level of inspiring on the news Rio: not even the 10 o'clock one Buster: Probably keep 'em your eyes only, babe Rio: Fine by me Rio: I wanna be the one to find you anyway Buster: I want you to Rio: Lemme sniff this out Rio: did you have your keys on you Buster: I always have my keys on me Rio: if you've gone home that's so funny Buster: You know I'm hilarious Rio: Your dad is Rio: if we wanna keep ruining the festivities tell your mum how dumb he is Rio: be a hoot Buster: Will do Buster: Hold on Rio: Alright? Buster: Depends who you ask Rio: Well if you've had an empty house this whole time and you're only just telling me Rio: don't know if this is even you tbh Rio: convincing serial killer maybe Buster: I just needed Buster: That breathing room I got as a mystery gift Rio: Makes sense Rio: I don't have to come Rio: if you still wanna be left alone, I won't tell Rio: they can worry a bit longer Buster: You do have to Buster: I wanna be alone with you Rio: I want that too Rio: hold on Buster: Okay Rio: Promise you'll take my phone away when I get there Buster: If you promise not to tell anyone that I think my hand is fucked Rio: How fucked Rio: like, if you show me how to strap it we can do that or sneaky trip to A&E fucked Buster: Like I can already hear the lecture about punching walls instead of bags Rio: We'll sort it Rio: I won't tell anyone Buster: Thanks Rio: doesn't mean I don't get to fuss though Buster: Such a mum Buster: I ain't got that many issues that its a turn on for me, you know Rio: Shut up Rio: so rude Buster: You're cute Rio: 😒 yeah and as unsexy as a mum Buster: You couldn't be unsexy if you tried Rio: swear you got just enough issues? Buster: Talking about them would take all night Buster: But so would what I'd rather do Rio: Well Rio: think they'll clock before then but Rio: take whatever time we can get Buster: Well then I swear I'll make it worth it Buster: Even if we have to be quick Rio: Jesus Rio: I know it'll be worth it Rio: how could it not be Buster: Yeah, but you don't know how worth it yet Buster: You will Rio: You too Rio: I swear Buster: Tell me this is actually fucking happening this time Buster: I need you Rio: It has to Rio: 'cos all that's happening is I'm caring less and less about the risks and more and more about just making it happen Buster: I know I'm drunk but I never cared about anything but this Buster: I don't Rio: We're both drunk but it's still true Rio: I can't stop, Buster Rio: whatever the fuck this is Buster: You don't have to Buster: Be with me, that's all I want Rio: I'm coming Rio: I'm sorry but even if your family walks in at this point I ain't fucking stopping Rio: I'm so sick of not getting what I want Buster: I can't not give it to you Buster: Everything you want Rio: You Rio: that is all I want right now Buster: I'm not even offended that you don't reckon I'm everything Buster: Easily proved wrong Rio: Exactly Rio: show me Buster: Fuck Buster: Say that again Rio: Show me, baby Rio: I want you to be everything, 'cos you're all I can think about Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: Hurry up & be at my house for fuck's sake Rio: you know I live in the middle of nowhere Rio: [cos figure cali gaff has the most space so logic they'd have been there] Rio: it's the biggest cockblock, modern day princess in a tower basically Buster: 😂 Buster: I'm surrounded by princesses all day, you ain't Rio: Bit rude but I've been called worse Buster: It's the opposite of rude the way I mean it Rio: Let you off then Buster: Don't you know that you're on another level? Buster: Doesn't he tell you that in all those texts you get? Rio: He says a lot of things Rio: I'd be lying if I said I was always tuned in, like Buster: Of course not, like you said, I'm all you can think about Rio: Literally Rio: it's stupid Buster: Nah, 'cause if it was it'd be shared stupidity & I'm too smart for that Rio: 😂 Rio: very self-serving, but I'll take it Buster: Plus, I fucking hate sharing Rio: I know Rio: but you know you don't have to with me Rio: not really Buster: You're gonna dump him, yeah? Rio: I can Rio: we can talk about that later though Rio: what we wanna do for the rest of the time and all that Rio: don't think about it right now Buster: I can't think Buster: Not properly Rio: Then don't Rio: you know I want you more than anyone else right now Buster: Yeah Buster: More than anyone else ever Rio: Yeah Rio: Whatever it is Rio: I know I ain't felt it before Rio: wanting someone so hard all the time Buster: Me either Buster: Wanting someone this hard Buster: Never mind all the time Rio: I know it's crazy Rio: but I don't care Rio: can't Buster: Folie à deux, like Rio: You and your French obsession 😏 Buster: I had to learn to kiss somehow, you didn't teach me shit Rio: You wouldn't let me Rio: so NOT a pleasure to have in class Buster: You could've made you move any time Buster: Including before I was dared to make mine Rio: You take the piss enough that I was in love with you without that Rio: you'd have been even more unbearable if I had, like Buster: No Buster: I only was 'cause you made me do it & then it went like that Rio: I didn't dare you Buster: You didn't have to Buster: Don't act like there weren't loads of chances before that Buster: You could've took one Rio: Better late than never, ain't it Rio: be there in 5 Buster: Of course Buster: Be here now though Rio: Could hardly ask for a lift like hey, think he's here but give me like 15 alone, k dad Buster: Can't your boyfriend drive? Perfect way to dump him Rio: Yeah that'd go well Buster: You'd soon forget all about him Buster: We don't need 15 minutes for that Rio: Not gonna time you, like but Rio: hold you to it Buster: You don't need to, give me one second & you won't remember his name Rio: Fuck Rio: I'm so ready for this Rio: for you Buster: Show me Buster: I'm done waiting Rio: [when you show up and see 'em like hell no] Rio: This is beyond an actual joke Buster: [when you can't even answer cos you're beyond angry like if you thought he was mad before peeps] Rio: Fuck this Buster: [later cos you have to deal with them] Buster: Meet me tomorrow Rio: I can't Rio: we go to see my da's family Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: I know Rio: can't get out of it though we stay over Rio: there's no way they'd let me stay home Buster: When are you back? Rio: 30th Rio: you're staying for new year's eve, aren't you Buster: Barely but yeah Buster: My flight's next day Rio: We'll make it work Rio: they'll all be so gone Buster: We're gonna have to, it ain't no commuter flight this time Rio: Yeah Rio: you're so lucky Buster: Not how I feel right now Rio: No, me either Rio: really not in the mood, they're all in my face constantly Buster: My dad's lucky he ain't going to A&E Rio: Not condoning that but I could've easily jumped 'em myself so Rio: this is bullshit, swear they left us alone constantly as kids Buster: I'd lift you up, babe. Teamwork Buster: & Yeah, you can swear to that 'cause they did Rio: 😂😍 Rio: #goals Rio: getting my own place as soon as I can Buster: See, I do play well with others Buster: Come to London, I'm always on my own there Buster: Fucking typical Rio: I will Rio: and you can't be mad because that's an invite Rio: however casual Buster: Mad ain't the word Buster: You're always trying to put the wrong ones in my mouth Rio: Don't make my mind go there Buster: If your mind is anywhere else, tell me how you did it Rio: it ain't Rio: but your mouth specifically now Buster: Shame my mouth ain't specifically where it wants to be Rio: Shame ain't the word Rio: for a white boy you got really good lips, you know Buster: I know Rio: ugh Rio: be here Buster: I'm here, that's all I can do Rio: I'm glad we're talking Buster: You missed me, yeah? Rio: You know I did Buster: Tell me Rio: I missed you loads Rio: I thought about you all the time Buster: You're not gonna go see that lad now are you? Rio: No Rio: he wants me to but I don't have time anyway Buster: Don't. I didn't turn you on for his benefit Rio: I don't want him Rio: you don't either, okay Buster: Okay Rio: Not today Rio: you were mine Buster: I still am Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: it feels so good saying your name Rio: I wanna say it for you Buster: Call me Rio: [does, 'cos you gotta do something poor bastards] Buster: [you deserve this lads] Rio: [when even this is gonna be fire] Buster: [literally better than anything I could ever do] Rio: That was Rio: I feel a bit better now Buster: If you think you feel good now, wait until NYE Rio: I don't wanna wait Rio: but fine Rio: try my best Buster: I don't wanna either but I do wanna make up for lost time so behave & I'll make you cum for every day you've had to Buster: Hold me to it Rio: Damn Rio: you're really daddy, huh Rio: 😇 Buster: It's not that high of a number yet Buster: You can be impressed when I make the offer after being away for ages Rio: You better Rio: gotta have some incentive to come back, right Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm so jealous Buster: Put your teacher voice on & come with Rio: 😏 I'll get the 'fit Buster: I look forward to seeing it Rio: You're there to actually learn, babe Rio: maybe I'll tutor you, if I have time Buster: You're saying you don't have enough to teach me full time? Disappointing Rio: Plenty Rio: 'nuff to take it stateside Buster: Start packing then Rio: When we going Buster: Why not now Buster: Fuck it Rio: That's what I need Rio: you, distance from this fam and a place no one knows us Buster: Exactly Rio: One day Buster: Hold me to it too Rio: Can we stop doing the thing where you leave and we don't talk for months now Rio: like, it's exhausting pretending I hate you and don't wanna fuck you, you know Buster: I have to leave, but yeah, we also have to talk Rio: I know you're going Rio: I mean like I see you for a week or something and then that's that 'til the next family function Buster: I know what you mean Buster: It's not like that's how I want it Rio: Why'd it always end up happening, like Buster: What can I say? Buster: What do you want me to? Rio: I ain't blaming you Rio: it's both of us Rio: just, let's not let something happen between now and when you go so you won't talk to me alright Buster: Whatever happens, I still wanna Buster: It's not that black & white though, is it? Rio: nah Rio: I dunno Rio: we got separate lives to live Rio: obviously, and that's cool Rio: but idk why that means we have to end up hating each other Rio: like it is black and white, all or nothing Buster: I can't hate you Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: alright, pretend then Rio: you're quite convincing sometimes Buster: Well I need to be Buster: Sometimes Rio: Yeah Buster: Just don't break my fucking heart, yeah? Buster: Simple Rio: Why would I do that Buster: All or nothing Rio: that's not how I want it either, I'm telling you Rio: we can do better Buster: Obviously Buster: I can always do better & you always keep up Rio: 😏 Rio: thanks Rio: I think Buster: It's a compliment Buster: Nobody else can Buster: Not that I've found yet anyway Rio: Maybe you'll find yourself an American girl who can Buster: Maybe Rio: just don't get married Rio: can only deal with the accent for so long Buster: Before I've done uni & got a career? My mum would kill me Buster: She'd turn up with a shotgun to stop it, fuck encouraging it Rio: 😂 Rio: Nance is the hopeless romantic, I remember Buster: Good Buster: I don't do repeats never mind wedding vows Rio: Never? Buster: Like I said, they can't keep up Buster: I'm not running a charity Rio: You are funny Buster: I'm also too good at it to be having shit hook ups Buster: Tell your friends Rio: 🙄 Rio: No one's forcing you, to my knowledge Rio: so don't think you can complain Buster: I ain't Buster: You asked & I answered Rio: I did not ask you to specifically tell me how good anyone is Rio: let alone people I know Buster: I haven't Rio: Come on Rio: I know what that comment implies and about who Rio: not seen her for ages anyway so can't say I'm heartbroken over her, like Buster: I'm just saying for future reference, let you friends know that anyone can always do better Rio: It is truly amazing anyone wants to sleep with you Buster: They don't want to talk to me Buster: I told you it ain't easy Rio: It ain't hard Rio: stop flattering yourself for a sec, babe Buster: Start flattering me then, babe Rio: 😏 Buster: Can you really not meet me tomorrow? Rio: I really wanna Rio: but we leave so early Buster: You should go then Buster: Sleep Rio: but Buster: I know Buster: But I'll be there, won't I, you always dream about me Rio: Hmm so you reckon Buster: Come on Rio: You Rio: don't you wanna offer to make me sleepy? Rio: amateur Buster: Sleepy ain't the word Rio: I don't reckon you can get me to pass out from there but alright Buster: You don't? Rio: Nope Rio: don't feel bad, like 😉 Buster: Answer your phone & do exactly what I tell you, let's see how we both feel then Rio: [does, duh] Buster: [opened pandoras box here lads] Rio: [least you can do this to your hearts content no matter where y'all is, 'cept when Ryan is around, which is sadly too often] Buster: [god bless technology especially the waterproof phones of the future] Rio: [defs a thing] Buster: [they should fall asleep on the phone together though] Rio: [deffo]

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