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richardsphere · 16 days

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Leverage Redemption Log: The Pyramid Job

Well either we're going to Egypt (not in the budget) the louvre (not in the budget) or a Bass Pro Shop (in the budget, unlikely). That or its an MLM. --- Woman is telling her MLM bosses about how she needs to leave the MLM. They tell her success is definitly on the way.

Huh an MLM that has a return policy. (i mean its definitely a shit policy that scams them but thats better then most MLM's)

And they reverse psychology the woman back into the pyramidcult. --- Scene opens with a person in an old london flat-cap getting thrown into a container of hay by Elliot. (this guy is so london that i'd be suprised if this doesnt somehow tie into the "Sophie Backstory" that is being slowly woven into the season-arc.)

Pick London Tweeds pocket full of diamonds, fund a school, pay off debts. Denouement for an off-screen adventure.

Huh, im right. Its just not the same guy but this "Billie the Gent" fellow is also wearing a flatcap (and this guy is even wearing something tweed-like) So i assume this scene is taking place in a London warehouse (the beautiful thing about warehouses, they're pretty standard regardless of geographical location. No need for expensive on-location shots)

Billy is worried about his daughter (she was a baby when Sophie sent him and Arthur to prison)

Elliot dated someone who bought the product.

Billie is doing a bit of a guilt trip, and Elliot doesnt trust him. So expect a third-act betrayal of some sort. --- Con starts in-medias-res. Breanna is an accountant. She does not like how much firewalls they've put around comic sans slideshows of babies.

The point of the Con (at least for now): Get a virus on the server. Automated "return true" to all attempts at a refund.

I dont think that the people working at the datacenters of an MLM are usually in the "level"-based structure. So we need a Diamond key... well if they're all on the funky little wristwatch-drives like Saphire here has? Thats a simple Parker Pickpocket. (seems that she's thinking along the same lines).

Also daily, streams from the boss bitch? Thats gonna make a return, and knowing the standard Leverage MO: That is gonna be her Confession Cam

Sophies scheme for Richard: Divide and conquer by convincing him he needs some more Toxic Masculinity in his life. But like, only a smidgen. So its a Harry job, not an Elliot.

--- Sophie arrives at the cult-fundraiser thing. (Parker is in situ as waitstaff) Thank god this show is willing to drop the C word. (Cult. Though though the other one might be apropriate as well) Ok so apparently the company just steals downlines whenever they want?

Richard exists stage to let Debra shine. Do some pseudo-inspirational brainwashing. We have found Billies daughter Miranda. Parker offers up the Venezuela Protocol. --- Operation Bromcom is initiated. I do not like the Tom Selleck stache on Harry.

Bromcom makes it into Phase 2 no problem. --- Debra reads through Sophies accent and really puts her on the spot, also she puts the spots on her. Cut for comercial as if Sophie doesnt have an earpiece. --- Ok we're not even bothering with the earpiece, Sophie is just gonna StageCultBS her way out of this.

But yeah Debra is onto Sophie. Which isnt really a problem? (Sophie is only here to keep an eye on Miranda and create an opening for Parker to do her thing. Being in the spotlight is kind of the point) --- Back with Breanna, Saphire very much is starting to see the dawning light Re:Pyramids. It's far from noon yet but its definitly twilight.

Ronald has a real "they've got skulls on them" moment when he sees the Teletubbies sunbaby on a giant pyramid in the logo. --- Sophie has Parker feign a pregnancy. (she named the kid after Hardison)

And we've just (temporarily) screwed over Miranda. (look there are no stakes here)

Seriously how many glass pyramids are on this table Miranda is standing at?

"I dont have a tissue but you can use my sleeve". 10/10. Well looks like Parker has succesfully convinced Miranda to leave. --- Meanwhile Billy is talking on the phone with someone in a foreign language. Meanwhile Elliot, not involved in our Con, is keeping tabs on Billy. Turns out Elliot can see a narrative throughline when its in his face and is gonna punch it out of Billy before the concequences of Sophies past come to blow our heroes' faces off. --- Back with Harry, Parker tells him to play the "manly emotional insecurity card". ("If only my dad had been able to tell me he was proud of me when he was still alive") Richard has a safe and Parker is ready to go. (so we're switching Diamond-bracelet targets from Debra to Richard) --- Back with Elliot, Billy is remniscing about old times. (turns out food works just as well as punches)

He doesnt trust Sophie, but also he doesnt have any grudges against her. (he understands that she didnt sell him out, he was going down anyway and he doesnt resent her, unlike Arthur) --- Back at Cultcon, Sophie is being politely interogated by Debra. (Debra sees a kinship/rivalry i think?)

Oh i see. (perhaps a bit late). its a maternity cult, about parenthood. And Sophie was always very maternal basically taking all of 2 episodes before becoming an all-out mom to Parker in the OG run. We're about to drop the "you abandoned your child" revelation aren't we? The narrative throughline of the season isnt the Duke she married, its the current duke/duchess that's gonna be the season finale. --- Back to Breanna and Robert, turns out the cheap bracelets cost 200 USD. Also he wants to play Jazz. Breanna knows where the Yes Virus needs to go (penthouse computer) --- Parker tells Harry to move it like a madagaskan lemur. Gold bars, land title deeds in Uzbek... (close enough to russia that it might have been a something Billy was covering up. Except then a reveal that Elliot knows he wasnt speaking russian cause Elliot speaks Russian.)

Oh god he's working with Billy. Thats our 3rd act complication isnt it? (yes a "sophie had a child" reveal would be a twist but it wouldnt be a complication to the con. But a betrayal by Billy...)

Richard challenges Harry to a duel. (who has spotted the bracelet. its in the mancave.) --- Oh Sophie is doing exposition about Nate, i thought we were gonna get into the Duke. (Or it could be both)

Richard just knocked Harry's earpiece out (quick, tell him its a hearing aid. You've spent too much time around loud cars and payed the price. He'll fall for it!) --- Back from commercial, It seems Harry is going for the lie i came up with (im starting to really get feel these writers)

Parker is compromised with her fake belly, and unfortunately Richard isnt buying the hearing aid story (worth a try) --- Breanna is so pissed that Harry's sword-fighting a viking and she's stuck as an accountant. (Ronald has gone home, grabbed his trumpet, returned to tell Breanna and now he's off again) --- "your brandy is watered down and your cubans are fake" hitting him where it hurts him most.

Harry gets to catch punch out a guy with a sword and catch a thrown axe with his shield. He's really getting into Phase 4. --- Meanwhile back at Sophie, we're she's stalling for time with expositiondumps to Debra. And the clock strikes (i think it was 4?) and Sophie turns the tide from reluctant admisions of past trauma to goading and baiting Debra into a confession. Oh she's calling for security after she just confessed to her actions on her own daily livestream? I do wonder what'll happen when we get back from commercials --- So yeah she was on broadcast (cause of course)

Breanna used Harry as a distraction to put her virus on Richards Wristband (man, if only Debra hadnt insisted on a Nuclear Missile-type 2-key situation she could've stopped all the returns from happening right now)

Harry runs into the Denouement looking like a fool because someone has to explain the logistics of the financial fallout (also he put in a call, the repoman works fast) --- Back at the theatre the Selleck Stache has been glued to a mixer. Parker is keeping the baby, and Harry is keeping the armor (it reeks but its probably expensive)

Richard spilled some beer in the car (which, is anticlimactic as far as "you ruined my car for the mission" jokes go), and Richard is playing jazz outside the theatre. ---

YES I KNEW THAT IT WASNT RUSSIA! It was the Uzbek deed after all! So our next mark is presumably this Ramsey guy. (if he's into runways, he's probably a plane-based smuggler) Final camera pan upwards to a devil-like statue. (not a Gargoyle as it isnt a waterfeature, and its mouthes and orifices are closed so it also isnt a grotesque)

#leverage #leverage redemption #leverage redemption season 2 #the pyramid job

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butterbabyflapjack · 2 years

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:: Reverse Psychology ::

( Professor Gojo x fem!reader )

Rating::: Explicit sexual content

In which Professor Gojo pretends to be blind. Yes, he's a lying, manipulative asshole.

You're the newest pretty face in Professor Gojo’s psych class, and you soon learn he’s far more trouble than any man's worth. He's a liar, a narcissist, toys with whomever he pleases - and you absolutely hate him for it.

Too bad for you, he likes a challenge.

Too bad for him, you’d sooner slap his stupid face off than allow him to seduce you.

Oh, and he thought this was going to be ~easy~

You fully intend on being Gojo Satoru’s worst nightmare.

All aboard - smutty, snarky shenanigans ahead!

Read here or on ao3

Chapter Directory: one • two • three • four • five • six • seven

° • . Chapter 1 . • °

It was a most cliché morning.

The sun was shining, blissful in its warmth. And the sky was as blue as a gemstone blanket pulled snug overhead, blue as a shiny baby dolphin’s smile, jumping right out of the golden waves of early morning. It was beautiful - really - I’m not being sarcastic. It was a beautiful day, in the most cliché of ways.

Maybe that should have been your first red flag that something about today was horribly off, but it wasn’t.

It might have even been a good day, too. Lovely weather, first day of college, a raring-to-go pep in your step. Fresh air and fresh dreams wafting through your presently ignorant head.

Dare I say… it was the perfect day?

No, we won’t go that far.

Especially not since anything ‘good’ about today was about to be royally fucked up by your new psych professor, one Professor Gojo (god, what a stupid name).

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

There’s a smile on your face as you saunter in from the dawn, down the University hallways and in through the door to your General Psychology class; the first class of the day (and it is a general psychology course, not anything specialized, so anyone teaching it can un-inflate their oversized egos already).

Seating is by choice, obviously, though you’re still not that used to the idea so soon after the stringency of high school. So you plop down wherever you like - right in the front row, because you’re ready and eager to learn! Like an elated little puppy dog, yip-yup-yapping at the meaty bone of knowledge.

It’s kinda cute. I mean, it’s your first day of college, after all - you’re bound to be a little excited. Your first day of officially living in your dorm, though you haven’t met all of your roommates yet. Your first college class, ever. Your first day of feeling like an actual, fully realized adult.

Your first day of being subjected to the preening horrors of him.

It’s probably not a good sign that the narration in your head keeps coming back to that snow-haired bastard. You know, the one who looks like how stubbing your toe feels. But let's implement a little of that aforementioned ‘general psychology’ and just not think about it for right now, shall we?

Other students start piling into the lecture hall (you were first to arrive - and hot damn are you impressed by yourself about it. You've always been a straight A student with perfect attendance, despite what your good looks might otherwise indicate, and that wasn't about to change now). You pull out your laptop, open a brand new word doc for all those notes you’re about to take…

Oh yeah, baby - you’re ready. All pistons are fired up and ready to fucking go! Perfect grade, here we come! You love psychology, too; so this particular class is a particular treat.

And then the metaphorical train of your hypothetical, academic success meets its untimely demise. And the crash and curl of its metal hinges being torn off the tracks and smashed into oblivion sounds oddly like a man’s melodious voice, smooth as satin, oozing in through the doorway - the last person to arrive to his own damn class, go figure.

“Good morning, everyone!”

How a man manages to make a simple greeting sound so smarmy, you’ll never know. Albeit, at the time, you and everyone else finds it oddly charming (yeesh, gross).

You’ll never truly know a lot about how that man operates. Sometimes you doubt he's even human. It’s like he willed himself into existence from some fire-and-brimstone version of a male model catalogue snatched up from the very clutches of hell.

Now, you might be wondering, “ Male model? Why a male model catalogue, and not a catalogue for - oh, I dunno - insufferable assholes? I thought you said this guy looks like how sticking red-hot coals up your rectum feels?’ Or stubbing your toe, or something like that-”

Weellllllll that was a lie, okay?! The guy’s hot as fuck. Like, really - he’s disgustingly attractive. He looks like angel-fucking-foodcake with washboard abs, and you want to throw up every time you look at him.

Anyway-

The cliché beauty of this morning was not the red flag it should have been.

The first red flag comes when you look up from your blank page of notes - you know, the eager one just begging to be filled with knowledge - and see that your newest professor is wearing sunglasses, rested smoothly upon the bridge of his arrow-straight nose. Expensive ones, by the look of it. Perfectly round, perfectly black (like his soul, probably). And even with them somewhat vieling his features, it’s still clear as day to you, and to everyone, that this man is far too handsome for his own good.

This is a red flag. The sunglasses, I mean. Because who the hell wears sunglasses inside.

I’ll tell you who. Blind people. And assholes. And here’s a little hint - Professor Gojo is not blind. Lord, he is very much not blind. In fact, he is well aware of every beautiful female in his classroom, of which there are many, yourself included.

You don’t know how un-blind he is now, of course.

But you will.

Eventually.

No, like many of the other students in the class - particularly the cute female ones with oversized hearts - you come out of the gate thinking this motherfucker is actually blind. He's got the glasses, and he's got something like a cane held in his fist at one side. And you, like those other girls, have your squishy little heart torn open at the sight.

And I’ll give you a little hint into what most of them are thinking.

Oh, this poor, handsome man… he must have overcome so much hardship to become a professor, all while being blind! I can only imagine what it’s like… And on top of every struggle that comes tethered to such adversity, he doesn’t even know how disturbingly attractive he is?! That's just… a travesty! Truly, this world isn’t fair!

Don’t feel too bad for the bleeding hearts yet, though. Because we all know what many of them are also thinking. And if you don’t, well congratulations on not being an asshole - and, also, don’t worry; because I’ll tell you that, too.

If this motherfucker is single, I actually stand a chance in hooking up with him - I could literally show up to dates in sweatpants and he’d never know. And he’d probably love how understanding, how patient, I am with his disability - with his struggles, his adversities. He probably doesn’t have girls like me giving him the time of day, not with a handicap like that. Most girls just aren’t that compassionate. And he’d probably worship a girl who could make his life even a little bit easier. Who could read things aloud to him, or help him pick out the right color tie in the morning.

Oh, those sweet, sight-having saviors - how benevolent of them. Bless their cold, hungry hearts.

You aren’t one of the girls thinking this, if that makes you feel any better. You genuinely feel for the guy, despite not even knowing his name yet (if only that were still the state of things). The sufferings of others have always struck you. You’re not the type of person to look the other way from it, to say ‘oh, that sucks, anyway’ and turn heel on your happy-go-lucky way. No, truly, you feel for him. And you’re impressed as hell that your new professor seems to have accomplished so much in his life, despite this apparent hardship (or, really, lack thereof). He’s obviously a fantastic professor, as mentioned in the reviews you read posted online by former students (hah - you’re never trusting an online review again). And he obviously has money, if his chic clothes and glasses are anything to go by. He’s obviously well put together, debonair even, and you can already taste the charisma radiating off his handsome havin’ ass, not an ounce of self pity or negativity to him - despite it all, despite everything.

You’re impressed. The man is impressive.

Or, you thought he was.

(Spoiler alert - he’s not).

I might post the rest of the story on ao3 instead of tumblr, haven't decided, but just in case here's the link my pretties!

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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years

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Omg can I please get a hannibal x a shy girl reader ? Like he’s really possessive of her and she doesn’t know how to handle it but she likes him so they date??

Sorry this took so long, anon. I’ve been bouncing ideas around and this one in particular, I believe, fits your request. Y/n feels out of place among Hannibal’s fancy friends and it becomes even more obvious when he abandons her at a party.

Trigger warnings: social anxiety, sexual harassment, overstimulation

You and Hannibal had an agreement about large gatherings. He could only bring you to a party if you had a week's notice and at least three uninterrupted hours of gaming time prior to the event.

For this event, you needed a solid six.

One of the major Maryland universities was awarding a lucrative research grant to a student of clinical psychology, and every influential name in the industry was expected to be there. As a recent college grad with a bachelor's in business you didn't know what to do with, you couldn't imagine a less welcoming environment if you tried. You couldn't fit into their world and more importantly, you didn't want to. But the thought of being noticeably different in any situation was twice as terrifying. So you spent the whole week repeating your mantra; blend in, be quiet and make it through the night.

But Hannibal had different plans for you.

Halfway through the week, just when you'd pushed the party out of your mind, Hannibal presented you with a gift.

"What's the occasion?" You asked. You hoped that if you pretended not to know, it would just magically go away.

"I brought you something to wear on Friday." Hannibal answered, hanging the garment bag up on the bureau. "You know I'll take any excuse to dress you up."

He unzipped the bag and placed a black silk dress into your arms. "Try it on so I have time to get it altered if it needs it."

The material was cool to the touch and outlined your figure so perfectly, you felt even a little naked. Hannibal, of course, loved this. You were his own personal Venus de Milo. His goddess and his muse.

“Yes, that will do nicely.” He observed, looking at you hungrily.

“Seems a little short for a such a sophisticated event, doesn’t it?” You raised an eyebrow. The answer was yes and he knew it. He was very deliberate in everything he did. “I don’t want to come off the wrong way.”

“And what way would that be, darling?” He asked, not taking his eyes off your figure.

“I mean--” You searched for the right words. “It’s a gathering of the Mid-Atlantic’s most esteemed academics, I feel like, in a dress like this, I might be seen as, well, a...”

“A prostitute?” Hannibal finished, choosing a much nicer word than you would have.

You looked down. “Yeah. It just doesn’t seem all that appropriate.”

Hannibal approached you and lifted your chin slightly to look into his eyes. “Many Christian denominations believe that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, yet she was Christ’s right-hand woman. She was first to see him crucified and first to witness his resurrection.”

“Dr. Lecter,” You smirked. “I never would have taken you for a religious man.”

“Goodness, no.” He shook his head. “But any reputable academic is expected to be familiar with biblical literature and its many contradictions and impossibilities.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“You are my divine feminine, Miss [L/N].” Hannibal said in a low whisper. “And I want everyone to see it. If they see a common whore, it would only be a reflection of their own jealousy.”

Hannibal's rationalization almost made you forget about your fear of being noticed. Almost. It all came rushing back when you arrived at the event. Not one person your age was in attendance. The women wore long, flowing evening gowns that reached the floor. The length of your skirt alone guaranteed that all eyes were on you. In a simple black silk dress, you looked the very model of high society. Silk was a sign of luxury, and Hannibal wanted everyone to know that you were a woman of means. His woman, to be precise. That was why he brought you to these functions in the first place. To put you in a dress short enough for any wandering eyes so see the smattering of love bites running up your inner thighs. He wanted everyone in his field to know that you were completely and entirely his.

You realized too late that this was all his little exercise in showing you off.

Everyone seemed to know him. He only knew a handful of people by name, and you didn't know anyone.

"And who is this delightful young woman?" A woman with a light southern twang in her voice asked, looking at you as if you were a caged animal on display.

"I wasn't aware you had a daughter, Dr. Lecter." The young man beside her laughed. "Or is she your side piece?"

Your eyes scanned the room for the nearest exit. It would be unbecoming to make a scene, so you plotted a way to slip out quietly.

“Darling, meet Dr. Charlotte Ramset and her TA, David.” Hannibal introduced, notably ignoring the young man. “Dr. Ramset, this is my intended, [F/N] [L/N].”

"I didn't realize she was also a ventriloquist!" The lady, presumably Dr. Ramset, joked. You'd heard that one a million times. She looked at you. "Tell me about yourself, sweetie. What are you studying?"

The lady was old enough to be your grandmother and reeked of too much perfume.

"I graduated last year." You said, quietly. "With a BA in business."

"See, there's a good woman." David added. "Only speaks when spoken to. They don't make ’em like you anymore, baby."

Hannibal tightened his grip on your hand. "On the contrary, David. See, Miss [L/N] is quite a bit like myself. She only dignifies those she deems worthy with a response. There's nothing wrong with being selective."

The lady laughed at David's expense and smiled at you. "Good for you."

You smiled back just a little, not ready to bring your guard down yet. "I've had to deal with more than enough. It's best not to engage."

"Oh, I know, I know." The lady said, shaking her head. "That's how it is for us educated gals. Always having to put up with pigs. See, I went to college in the sixties, so I can tell you some real stories."

This was a new experience. Talking to Hannibal's friends and having them listen to you was something you never considered possible. Now, you were one of the educated gals. You were just about to strike up a conversation with this woman, when the man next to her decided someone desperately needed to play devil’s advocate.

“I find that sexist, actually.” He cut in. “Not all men are pigs.”

The silence following his comment was deafening and you wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Whatever progress Hannibal and Dr. Ramset made breaking down your defenses was completely reversed and you were ready to retreat.

Dr. Ramset took a long sip of wine and adjusted her shawl. “David, none of us said anything about men, you drew that conclusion yourself.”

“I mean, look at you.” David gestured to your dress. You knew exactly where this was going and you wished you could just disappear. “You’re basically asking for it.”

Dr. Ramset glared at him. “David, that’s enough.”

“I’m just stating facts.” David crossed his arms. “If you dress like a slut, what do you expect?”

Dr. Ramset and Hannibal seemed to have an entire conversation through prolonged eye contact before one of them broke the silence.

"Charlotte, I hate to have to excuse myself so soon, but the president of the university is expecting me." Hannibal said, dropping your hand. Your heart hit the floor when you realized that he would be throwing you to the wolves.

"Of course, Dr. Lecter." She nodded. "Duty calls."

"I trust you'll keep an eye on my beloved [F/N] in my absence?" His voice hardened. The severity in his tone frightened you.

Dr. Ramset didn't seem disturbed or even surprised in the slightest by his gently threatening demand. "Of course."

"Thank you. And [F/N]?" He said, pressing his lips to the back of your hand. "I won't be going far. Please, try to have fun."

You tried not to look affronted, but you were going to have a long talk with Hannibal when you got home.

"I'm just saying what everyone is thinking." David continued, his inability to take a hint positively astounding. "Why don't you respect yourself enough to cover up, [F/N]? You have a boyfriend!"

Your eyes scrolled across the room looking for any sign of Hannibal, but he was gone. Dr. Ramset finished her wine and stared at her TA with the resigned disgust of a death row jailer.

"Any other thoughts?" She said, snatching a fresh glass of wine. You looked at her with a clear expression of discomfort.

"Come on, do you see any other woman in the room dressed so provocatively?" David's voice broke mid-sentence. "No. Because they're educated enough to know that real men don't care about their bodies."

The hotel clerk approached the group. "Mr. Hosmer, there's a call for you."

David narrowed his eyes. "Uh, what?"

"Someone is on the phone asking for you." The clerk repeated. "Says it's an emergency."

David shrugged. "Fine."

Just when you thought you would be rid of him, at least for a moment, he planted his hands on your hips in attempt to "get by" you. His touch was like that of an insect crawling across your skin; unexpected, filthy and leaving you squeamish.

"I'm so sorry about that." Dr. Ramset's words echoed in your ears, but you didn't really hear them. You were too focused on grounding yourself to process what she was saying.

“Dr. Ramset?” You said, quietly. “Which one is the president of the university?”

She glanced at a tall woman in a dark blue suit, surrounded by equally important looking businesspeople. You followed her eyes. “That’s Dr. Mary Hosmer.”

Your ounce of righteous fury was squelched in two seconds when the reality of having to talk to someone, especially someone of stature, set in. You looked sheepishly back at Dr. Ramset.

“Could you please ask her where Hannibal went?” You whispered. “I’d really like him to take me home now.”

Her face turned sympathetic. “Of course, [F/N]. Stay right there.”

You nodded. “Thank you.”

Dr. Ramset crossed the floor and politely greeted the president. You took a few slow, calculated steps closer, just to get in earshot.

“Pardon me, but, have you seen Dr. Hannibal Lecter?” Dr. Ramset said, casually.

“I wasn’t aware Hannibal had even arrived yet.” The president answered. “I haven’t seen him.”

Your eyes widened. You fought the urge to freeze, but you had to move back before Dr. Ramset knew you’d been eavesdropping. You heard everything you needed and rushed back to where she’d left you.

“Dr. Hosmer said he stepped out.” She told you upon her return. “He should be back soon.”

You tried not to show that you knew she was lying. “...oh.”

“Would you like me to stay with you until he comes back?”

You knew you were completely on your own. You didn’t know what was going on, but you had an inkling that it had to do with the president and David sharing a last name. All you knew for certain was that you couldn’t trust anybody.

“Don’t bother.” You shook your head. You took off for the door, but Dr. Ramset grabbed your wrist.

“I’m sorry, [F/N].” Her voice dropped to a low whisper. She didn’t look mad, but afraid. “But Dr. Lecter told me to stay with you. Please. Don’t make this harder for me.”

You recalled how seriously threatening Hannibal’s request was. She wasn’t answering to the president of the university. She was answering to Hannibal. You didn’t know whether to be scared or relieved.

“Right.” You conceded, stepping back in. “I’m sorry.”

The actual award ceremony was much longer than it needed to be, and it dragged on even longer knowing there was no reason for you to be there. Other than that, you awkwardly followed Dr. Ramset around the party like a lost puppy the whole time. You were back to your original plan: blend in, be quiet and make it through the night.

Just when you thought the party would never end, someone tapped you on the arm. You turned around, hoping with every fiber of your being that it was Hannibal, but it wasn’t. A tall woman in a dark blue suit stared back at you.

“I’m sorry to bother you, miss.” She said, apologetically. “But have you seen my son? I saw him talking to you and Dr. Charlotte earlier, perhaps he told you where he was going?”

You’d pushed that man completely out of your mind. You shook your head. “He left to take a phone call and I haven’t seen him since.”

A hand found your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Hosmer, but I believe I saw the boy on his phone out in the lobby.”

“Dr. Lecter!” The president’s eyes widened. “How nice of you to finally join us.”

“...Yes, I believe he left right after making unwarranted comments towards my intended here.” Hannibal ran his hand down your arm lovingly.

“Well, boys will be boys.” The president chuckled. “Maybe you should teach your girlfriend not to wear such revealing clothes.”

Hannibal smiled and pulled you in protectively. “Whatever the case, I hope you find him very soon.”

Her phone chimed in her back pocket. “Oh, that’s him right now.”

“Wonderful.” Hannibal said. “[F/N] and I will be taking our leave.”

He hurried you towards the door, his hand tight around yours. A blood-curdling scream came from behind you. You looked back for just a moment and found the president hollering in pain and falling to her knees.

“Let’s go, darling.” Hannibal tugged at your arm. “They don’t deserve your presence.”

“Hannibal, I swear.” You said, once you were in the safety of the car. “If you killed every man who looked at me like a piece of meat, sooner or later, there won’t be any men left.”

Hannibal smirked and reached for his seatbelt. “Wonderful.”

#hannibal lecter #hannibal nbc #hannibal x reader #hannibal x you #anon ask #anon request

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

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Into The Unknown, Part 8

First

Marinette had never thought that living in another world would be this hard.

Sure, she had known that she would have issues when it came to the whole ‘she wasn’t technically supposed to be here and therefore needed a new identity’ thing. That was kind of obvious. The story they’d come up with had been simple enough -- she had grown up in Gotham with her parents, was highschool sweethearts with Tim, they had gotten married, he’d moved in with her, and her parents had died so she’d gotten custody of Damian. She was pretty sure Tim had a tragic backstory, but she didn’t really have that memorized yet. She wasn’t all that worried about it, though, she spent quite a lot of time dodging answering questions about her private life as Ladybug. Marinette probably wouldn’t even need to memorize his backstory (she would, of course, because she was nothing if not an overachiever, but she was well aware of the fact that it wasn’t quite necessary).

But, no, it was the small things that made it difficult.

Like affection.

Marinette was Parisian, she was used to greeting people with kisses on both cheeks. Hugs were something reserved for people you were close to.

But, no, Americans just insisted on being backward in everything that they do. And, supposedly, Marinette was American. She could get away with her accent because Gotham had a bunch of different people and it was easy to claim she came from the French part of town, but when it came to customs? No, she had to at least try and act like someone who had lived in America for her entire life.

So, when she was greeted with a hug from the most affectionate of her fellow interns, Marinette suppressed a cringe and patted her on the back awkwardly.

“Hi, Paige,” she said.

Paige beamed. “Ready for work?”

Marinette squinted up at the building. The WE in this universe was even taller than in her usual one.

… or maybe it just looked like that because she dreaded going inside. Ugh. Being an intern was going to suck.

“No.”

“Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

“Thanks…”

But, despite Paige’s assurances, it did not go fine.

And it wasn’t even the job thing that wasn’t going well. That, at least, she could handle. No, it was this world’s meme culture that sent her spiraling.

She’d been holding exactly nine cups of coffee, seven mugs of tea, and one energy drink can. Marinette didn’t know if it was her time working in a bakery or some sort of latent Ladybug skills or what but it wasn’t even all that difficult to hold them all.

Paige raised her eyebrows at her, looking vaguely concerned. “Do you need help?” She asked, hands already out as if expecting her to say yes.

Marinette cracked a grin. “No. I’m fine. It’s not even that hard. I could probably carry another two drinks, even.”

“Freaky flexing, but fine.”

“... the fuck did you just say to me?”

Tim hummed lightly as he bounced on the balls of his feet, baby sleeping soundly on his shoulder. Marinette fumbled the keys to their new apartment, mumbling curses.

She’d outright told him that she didn’t really care, that she’d lived above a bakery for most of her life so it wasn’t like she would mind as long as the place had counter space…

So why was he nervous?

He felt the tiny hand in his shirt grip him tighter and he looked down. Damian was still fast asleep, sucking on his pacifier peacefully. Tim wondered, idly, how that worked. Was it a reflex that humans lose as they age like the grasping reflex or was it a learned behavior that went away when it wasn’t reinforced anymore?

Marinette managed to open the door, her cheeks tinged red at how difficult it had been, and she swung it open.

He stopped bobbing up and down to watch her face.

But she just shrugged to herself and bent down to grab the box she’d brought up.

He tried not to look too relieved as he followed her inside and watched her set the box down on the kitchen island.

She glanced back at him. “I call cleaning and setting up the apartment!” She said brightly.

“Okay…?” He said, confused as to why she was so excited to clean up…

But then Damian started to stir.

Oh. If she had cleanup duty… then he had…

Baby duty.

Oh.

Oh no.

“Shit, Mari, wait --!”

“Too late! You already said okay!” She said, already heading to the door.

Damian spat out his pacifier and took that one long, deep breath he always took before he was about to scream.

“Mari!”

She stuck her tongue out at him and disappeared around the doorframe just as the baby started to cry.

Tim heaved a sigh and pressed a kiss to the top of the kid’s head. The wailing quieted a little, but didn’t stop. Tim would take it, he hadn’t even been expecting Damian to quiet himself. This was an absolute win in his book.

He glanced at the box that had been brought up but, unfortunately, they hadn’t had enough foresight to bring the baby supplies.

He poked his head out the door and yelled for Marinette to bring up the box with the baby stuff first. She yelled ‘fuck you’ in response but when she came back she handed him the box regardless.

He smiled -- or, at least, he smiled as much as it was possible to smile when a baby was screaming at you -- and went to work figuring out what was wrong.

There was good news and bad news.

Good news was that Damian was starting to learn that crying was okay.

Bad news was that Damian was starting to learn that crying was okay.

And, listen, Marinette obviously preferred that. She wanted to know when the kid was hurt or hungry or even just craving affection… but ugh.

She twisted around in the bed to squint at the clock.

Three o’clock. Great.

She groaned softly and buried her face in Damian’s hair again. “Dami, please, I have work tomorrow. Shhhhhhhhh,” she pleaded. As if she didn’t have to go to work every day.

Damian, of course, didn’t stop crying.

Marinette thought she was going to cry.

Tim pulled his arm from around them so he could cover his ears with his pillow.

She reluctantly sat up. Damian banged his little fists against her shoulder in an attempt to tell her… something. Probably that he wasn’t happy. As if the entire apartment complex couldn’t hear just how unhappy he was.

She changed his diaper and then got him Cow. Hopefully that would sate him for the rest of the night.

She clambered back into bed and sent Tim a weak smile when he wrapped an arm around them.

She scooted toward him, because Damian was reaching for him and his eyes were closed, and tucked her head under his chin. He tensed just slightly before relaxing and tangling his legs with hers.

Damian seemed to like being cocooned between them, because he made a vague happy sound and settled down to sleep without much (more) fussing.

Tim hummed lightly. His voice was terrible, but it seemed to calm Damian so Marinette wasn’t about to complain.

It took a while for Damian to go back to sleep but, eventually, he did. Unfortunately, he fell asleep while biting the crinkly ears of his plush and it was hard to sleep with the steady crkcrkcrkcrk sound right next to her.

From the way Tim’s breathing had yet to slow, he wasn’t asleep either.

Well, at least that was something to do.

“I’m beginning to think the reason babies are so cute is that otherwise we would kill them,” she joked, her voice soft so as not to wake the kid again.

Not that it would matter all that much. She could, unfortunately, not see herself going back to sleep before her alarm went off.

He chuckled and nodded as much as he could with her head beneath his. “Right? I just want one night of good sleep --.”

He stopped suddenly.

She drew back a little to check that he was fine, only to see him looking mildly horrified.

“We need to go back home soon. I’m going to get used to sleeping like a normal person. I can’t do that,” he said.

She grinned. “Oh no. The horror.”

“No, you don’t get it. If I do that then I’ll be giving into my family’s wishes. I can’t let them think they’re right about something!”

She giggled, shaking her head. “Here, I’ll make it easier for you: I don’t want you to sleep. As Dami and I are your only family -- legally -- for the next fifteen years, you must not do what we want. Therefore, you have to sleep.”

“Ah. Reverse psychology.”

“Well, I am a psych major.” Some of the amusement faded. “Was a psych major.”

“... really?”

“Yeah. I dunno. I’d figured it was the closest I could get to being Ladybug again.”

“You’re still Ladybug.”

She shrugged just slightly. “Yeah. I dunno,” she said again. She tried for a grin. “Doesn’t feel the same when there’s no emotional terrorism involved.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to do the same thing over and over again for a million years.”

“There’s some comfort in things staying the same.”

“Oh? Maybe we should trade.”

“That’s an amazing plan that I see no problems with. You get to go around beating up the Meta Of The Week and I’ll stay in Gotham dealing with all the idiots in spandex.”

“Are we switching outfits, too?”

“Oh yeah. Obviously. Gotta commit to the whole ‘switching’ thing. I bet I’ll look cuter in your outfit, too.”

“Ah, yes, because cuteness is the most important part of vigilante costumes.”

“We end up in papers all the time, being cute is totally important.”

He chuckled lightly and she felt the arm around her give her a tiny squeeze. She buried her face in his chest.

“You should try and sleep.”

“Hypocrite,” she teased, but she could already feel her eyelids drooping.

He hummed. She thought that, maybe, it didn’t sound so bad as to make him stop.

Tim had been in the middle of bathing Damian as he always did before bed when he’d accidentally splashed water on his face.

Perfectly fine and normal.

What wasn’t perfectly fine and normal was that the baby responded by saying: “Oh shit!”

Tim’s eyes narrowed.

“MARINETTE,” he yelled.

Marinette was there in seconds. There was some kind of green paste on her face. She’d been in the middle of her usual skincare routine. He thought it was kind of weird that near-immortals needed skincare routines but that wasn’t the point here.

She looked around frantically. “What?! What’s wrong?!”

“Damian just said sh --... he said the s-word.”

Marinette relaxed at that and sent Tim a glare. “Don’t blame this one on me. You’re the one that says that.”

Tim frowned. Because, now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure she was right.

“Now, if he’d said ‘fuck’, that would have been on me, but he didn’t, so --.”

“FUCK,” Damian said brightly.

Tim glared at Marinette again, this time rightfully so.

She looked a little sheepish. “... okay, yeah, that one’s on me.”

~~~~~

@nathleigh @peachmuses @unoriginalmess @hammalammadamdam @astrynyx @laurcad123 @927roses-and-stuff

#my baby cousins are starting to rub off on me #yesterday i said 'im sleepies' in a normal conversation #girl help #into the unknown #maribat #timinette #timari #timmari #shutterbug #ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #red robin #tim drake

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xiaojusaur · 3 years

Text

Highway to Heaven

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader

Genre: Fluff | Smut

Warnings: Car sex, virgin reader, fingering, oral

Word Count: 2.8K

Description: Jaehyun and you are celebrating your first anniversary and he wants to make it special. Pretty inspired in ‘Highway to Heaven’ - NCT 127

Freedom and privacy are two amazing things, more when you share them with the one you love. Not that you experience them often since your parents are strict and wouldn’t let you enjoy much with your boyfriend.

But today is a special occasion: is your first anniversary and Jaehyun made plans to take you on a roadtrip. He asked your parents and convinced them that he would take good care of you. At first they were doubtful about it, but Jaehyun was good with words and he used reverse psychology to get them to say yes.

You got ready in a flowy dress and when he got home to pick you up, he was wearing a simple white shirt and some jeans.

He promised to get you back in one piece but he also said you would arrive a little late.

In the inside of his car he finally could kiss you the way he wanted: passionately. “Gosh, I really wanted to do that,” he said still holding your cheeks in his palms.

You just smiled and looked at him the way that he is: the love of your life.

“So what are the plans?” You asked excitedly.

“Go around, see places we haven’t seen before, do things we can’t do regularly... The day is beautiful today,” he explained.

And he was right, the sun was pale, the day was breezy, and the sky was blue.

You guys were driving down the highway with no destination at all, going wherever life takes you.

Jaehyun had his hand on your thigh while he drove with the other, he looked super sexy. His thumb caressed your thigh unconsciously while he had his eyes on the road. There wasn’t much traffic today, in fact, it was deserted. There was only grass on each side of the road, which was getting pretty boring.

Suddenly, Jaehyun stopped on a curve. You got scared because you thought the car had problems or something.

You looked at him alarmed but he just laughed and said, “Relax, I just want to have alone time with you.” He ran his hand up your thigh.

“Here? On the middle of the highway?” you teased him.

“There’s no one around,” he shrugged.

He got closer and kissed you, you responded placing your hands gently on the back of his neck. The kiss turned more passionate with each passing minute until you both were gasping for air.

“Baby,” he whispered on your lips while his forehead was on yours.

“Mhm?” you asked.

“I know we haven’t had the chance to be this close before, I know this would be your first time ever and it’s supposed to be special, but I really, really want to go to the back of this car with you and make you mine,” he confessed with his eyes closed.

It was really scary. You were gonna have your first intimate moment with Jaehyun and you couldn’t wait. But in the middle of the highway in a car? That changed the whole picture.

“Here? In the middle of the highway? Can’t we go somewhere more private? I wouldn’t mind being in the car but... here?” You were unsure.

“You’re right,” he agreed, “let’s look for something more private.”

You both composed yourselves and he started the car again to continue with your roadtrip.

A few kilometers farther, he saw a lonely tree in the middle of a grassland. He drove right into it, not knowing what you would find on the way because you could barely see other thing than tall grass, but he finally arrive to under the tree.

That place looked magical, like a fairytale. You got off the car to look around you. The breeze was nice, the birds chirped in the distance giving a nice and relaxing atmosphere. Jaehyun embraced you and started caressing your arm. You looked at him and he was already looking at you. He breathed in and said, “This is nice.” You smiled and nodded.

He opened the door and sat on the backseat, looking at you, inviting you with his eyes. You sat by his side but then he whispered in your ear, “Come here,” in the most teasing tone ever.

You straddled him and quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, as he wrapped his around your waist. Like magnets, your lips crashed with each other, not being able to wait another second.

Quickly, his lips ran to your neck, sending a shot of pleasure right between your legs. You tangled your fingers in his hair while his mouth kept going south, now kissing your collarbones. He could feel your breath getting agitated and he took the chance to look you in the eyes and ask, “How are you feeling?” while his hands slid your dress’ straps off your shoulders.

“I feel great,” you whispered. You could feel him getting hard under you, so you started getting impatient. Out of instinct, you started grinding on him. He closed his eyes and leaned back on the backseat, enjoying the feeling. He hummed and said, “Are you sure you don’t know what you’re doing?”

You smirked and said, “I’m just following my instincts.”

“Well your instincts are doing amazing, baby,” he groaned.

When you were about to start kissing again, your phone rang. You both jumped and you took your phone to see who dared to interrupt such a moment of heat. It was your best friend.

“Don’t answer,” he said softly. “Tell her you’re busy, she should know.”

And that was probably true, so you just answered quickly, “I’m kinda busy, is something wrong?” Jaehyun kept kissing your neck, nibbling it, he was so mean! He was testing your strength.

You could hear her smirk almost, “Oh? OH! Okay!!! I’m sorry!” She hung up quickly.

“Where were we? Oh, right...” Jaehyun said with a groggy voice and then kissed your shoulder. “Shall we take this off?” He asked grabbing the hem of your dress.

“If it bothers you,” you shrugged.

“Everything covering your body is bothering me right now, baby girl,” he confessed as he lifted your dress. He threw the piece of cloth to the front seat.

You haven’t been with anyone yet, but just in case this happened, you wore your white lace lingerie and it worked since he was left speechless as soon as he saw you.

You got shy when he eyed you from bottom up and you covered your face with your hands.

He took your hands in his and whispered, “Don’t be shy, you look stunning. In fact, you look like a Greek goddess.” His hands traveled to your hips, where he pulled you closer to kiss you. You unbuttoned his shirt, exposing his perfect torso. GOD! How come did you have such a perfect boyfriend?

He bit your bottom lip, letting it go slowly. Every touch from his hands had you seeing stars, this was such an intimate moment you couldn’t experienced before. The mellow music on the background was perfect, meanwhile you had your eyes closed as he ran his hands from your thighs to your waist. “So perfect,” he whispered on your mouth, pecking your lips one last time before unfastening your bra.

He froze at the sight of your exposed breasts. His hands quickly grabbed them gently and then he got closer, giving them butterfly kisses until reaching your nipples. He sucked them, licked them and nibbled at them gently, the pleasure going straight to your core. His hands held your back firmly, trying to stop you from melting into his fingers. You were squeezing his thighs with yours in an attempt of easing the ache between your legs.

His hand slid down your torso, past your navel and his fingers snaked their way inside your panties. You felt the butterflies of anticipation in your stomach. Your boyfriend was finally touching you the way you wanted to be touched for so long.

His delicate, long fingers slid between your folds skillfully, he totally knew what he was doing. “Oh...” you moaned as soon as he reached for your clit.

He groaned back at you, “Fuck, baby, you’re so wet...” He looked at you to see your expression while his middle finger was sliding inside of you. The stretch was kinda uncomfortable but had you closing your eyes.

“Oh god, baby, you’re really tight,” he bit his bottom lip. “I really can’t wait to be inside of you,” he confessed in a whisper.

“Let’s make it happen,” you said desperate already.

“Let’s take these off,” he said as he pulled the hem of your panties.

You stood up a little to help him take them off. There you were, all exposed in front of him. As if hypnotized, he studied all your body and bit his lip again.

“Lay back, I gotta prepare you first,” he commanded. You did as told and he moved within the limited space at the back of the car.

Your stomach curled in anticipation. He sat in front of you and said, “Open your legs baby”. That phrase alone sent shivers down your spine. You did it slowly, he was looking right between your legs and he licked his lips when he saw your dripping core.

He helped you to be comfier on the backseat, placing one of your legs on the upper part of the backseat and the other over his shoulder. He bended over, his head was between your thighs, he kissed his way down to your heat. His mouth was too close, you started heavy breathing.

“Calm down, babe, I’m gonna make you feel good,” he whispered, his voice getting deeper. He’d never talked like that before and you were loving every second of it.

Jaehyun dived between your legs, giving a gentle kiss to your mound and then went south, kissing right where you needed him. You jumped from the new sensation but he was being so gentle with you, he looked at you to make sure you were okay. He continued, kissing your clit and then he ran the tip of his tongue between your folds. You felt your eyes rolling back, a moan escaping your lips, “Oh my God...”

“You like it, baby girl?” He stopped his ministrations to ask you.

“Mhm!” You nodded desperately.

He continued licking slowly, enjoying your wetness. Then he increased his pace, flicking his tongue quickly and after, he sucked hard, making you scream, “AH! Fuck!”

Jaehyun sticked his finger again and then added another, stretching you even more. When he knew you were ready, he stopped, leaving you with an emptiness.

“Jaehyun, please, I need you baby,” you pleaded.

“You can have me, I’m all yours,” he replied, smiling sweetly while unbuckling his belt to pull down his pants.

You didn’t dare to look down, even though you were all naked, you were shy to look at your boyfriend. He knew that, so he said in a sultry voice, “Look at me, look at how hard i am for you. This is all for you, my love.”

You ventured into looking down and your eyes got full of his beautiful member, his tip as pink as his ears when he gets flustered.

He took your hands and wrapped one of them around his lenght, hissing at the sensation of your soft hand. He helped you move it up and down, consuming in the feeling.

“Lay down, baby, I’m gonna make you mine,” his voice getting lower by an octave.

You did as told while he fished for a condom in the pocket of his already discarded pants. You watched him roll the thing down his length skillfully and reality hit you: you were about to have your first time with this gorgeous man.

Suddenly you got nervous, what if he didn’t like it? You were inexperienced while he had all the knowledge about it.

He could see the concern in your eyes and he assured you, “Hey... it’s gonna be okay. I’ll be gentle with you, alright?” His soft voice calming you almost instantly. You just nodded letting him know you were ready.

He settled between your legs and holding his dick with one hand and your waist with the other, he started looking for your entrance. You started heavy breathing at the touch of him.

He finally found it and with a little push, his tip entered you. The stretch was burning and you whimpered because of it.

“Shh... it’s okay, we’ll take it slow,” Jaehyun hissed.

You pursed your lips and closed your eyes tightly, bearing the pain while he kept sliding inside you oh so slowly. “My Goodness, you’re so tight,” you heard him say under his breath. When he finally got balls deep into you, he let out a moan in his glorious voice. He looked at you with fiery eyes and asked, “Are you okay?”

You just nodded because you were speechless. He stretched his hand, caressing your cheek and you leaned on it and trapped his thumb inside your mouth, sucking it.

“Oh, baby...” he groaned. “Can I move?” He asked.

“Please...” you begged.

Jaehyun started moving his hips, looking so deliciously sexy while thrusting you slowly. A few strands of his hair were dangling on his face and he looked amazing so concentrated in making you feel good. Every time he went in he hissed and when he went out let out a sigh.

“Oh my God... Jaehyun...” you moaned and he hummed savoring the sound of your voice.

“Fuck baby, you look so pretty,” Jaehyun hissed. “You’re taking my cock so well.”

You whimpered at his dirty talk, discovering how much you liked it.

“Can I go faster?” He asked for your permission, but at that moment he could just wreck you open and you would say thank you.

He took your right leg and placed it on his shoulder while your other leg was hanging from the backseat. Jaehyun held you by the waist and started going fast and deep, constantly hitting a spot that made your eyes roll back.

“Oh my God!!!! Yes!!!! Yesss!!! God!!!” You screamed and gasped, trying to hold yourself from the seat, from the door, from the window, desperately. The car was moving at the rhythm of Jaehyun’s hips, if anyone could see it, would know what was happening inside.

You started feeling a buzz in your head and something in your pelvis trying to explode.

Jaehyun could feel you clenching and groaned, “You wanna cum already babe?”

So that was what you were feeling! “Mhm!” Your breathing got faster and you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs, to let go of something inside you that you didn’t understand.

“Let go baby,” he panted, “Let me see you cum on my dick.”

“Oh Jaehyun! I want to scream!” You confessed as a whine.

“Do it baby, what’s stopping you?” He said, still ramming into you.

You let go and started feeling some delicious tingles throughout your body. Your eyes rolled back and you moaned loudly.

Jaehyun groaned from the feeling of you clenching him, “God! You feel so good!” And with that he came. “Ah~ so good...” he whispered as he gave his last thrust. He leaned over and kissed you, bringing you back to yourself. You ran your hand on his hair and he whispered “I love you” and then kissed the tip of your nose.

He discarded the condom and helped you get dressed again.

You guys continued your journey around town. You stopped at a restaurant and then at the top of a mountain, enjoying the sunset together.

“I booked a hotel for us, but we don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I planned a special night for us,” he said as he kissed your hand.

“Jae, I would go anywhere if you are by my side,” you whispered and then kissed him sweetly. “Plus, now I’m addicted to you,” you confessed, your cheeks flustering.

“Was it THAT good?” He was holding a laugh.

“It was amazing, Jeong Yuno,” you followed his game.

“In that case, I can make it even better,” he was smirking.

“I can’t wait,” you smirked back.

“Oh my God... your parents are going to kill me if they ever find out,” he said in a playful tone.

“They don’t need to,” you shrugged.

“Oh? Watch out world, we have a baddie,” Jaehyun said mockingly.

In the hotel room, on the huge bed, Jaehyun made you his once again. Looking you in the eyes while he thrusted you passionately, enjoying every twist of your face and every moan that escaped your lips. His hair tickling your face whenever he leaned in to kiss you, his hands roaming your body, kneading every inch of your skin to make you feel special.

After you both reached your high, you laid there in his arms. You were tracing imaginary figures on his chest absentmindedly while he caressed your arm. He smelled so nice, so manly, it was addictive.

“I love you so much,” Jaehyun said in a groggy voice, sign of his exhaustion.

“I love you too, Jaehyun,” you smiled.

“Happy anniversary, my angel,” he said as he closed his eyes to take a nap.

#fanfic #nct fluff #nct scenarios #ksmutclub #jaehyun #nct jaehyun #nct smut #nct 127 #jeong yunho #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fluff

368 notes · View notes

curioussubjects · 4 years

Text

come be a season 12 truther with me; or what if dean and cas got together offscreen

Originally, I wrote this post to celebrate “Galaxy Brain” airing as Berens & Glynn gave us “The Future.” It’s been a while since that episode aired, and some things have changed about this meta. As such, there are multiple versions of this post floating around, so make sure to go back to the source for the most up to date version. For all intents and purposes, this post functions as a meta manifesto not unlike shipping manifestos from days of LJ past. In keeping with that tradition, this post is a close reading of Dabb Era Destiel in which I argue that by using narrative gaps, queer coding, and romance tropes, Dean and Cas are shown to be in an established relationship. Although beyond the scope of this post, it’s worth pointing out that keeping Destiel mostly off screen was a way for the creatives to bypass network censorship while still remaining true to the characters.

This post is divided into three sections. Section I focuses on giving an overview of why earlier seasons of Supernatural aren’t as compelling as season 12 as a turning point for Dean and Cas’s relationship. That said, special consideration is given to 09.06 “Heaven Can’t Wait” as a potential rest stop in our journey due to it’s significantly placed narrative gap as well as themes in the episode. However, this post isn’t going to examine season 9 trutherism in depth, though it does coexist with and allow for it. Section II analyses season 12 and proposes a timeline and justification for the shifting Destiel dynamic. Finally, Section III will offer an analysis of how Dean and Cas’s relationship has changed dramatically from previous seasons in a way that is most like the shift from a “will they or won’t they” pairing to an established one.

Before I move to Section I, I’d like to note something this post takes for granted: Dean and Cas are the main romantic subplot of Supernatural, and, in fact, their relationship is elevated to main plot for both characters in season 15. This post won’t argue about the canonicity of Dean and Cas’s feelings for each other, therefore, and so won’t spend time looking at many Destiel defining moments. I’d also like to make clear that this post also takes for granted that Destiel is being intentionally developed by the writers starting with Carver’s Era, and more so in Dabb’s.

I. Why Seasons 4 through 11 May Not be It

The tl;dr. here is that while there are many moments throughout these seasons that Dean and Cas could potentially get together, none of those moments are ideal for a bunch of reasons that can be summed up as really bad timing. I also think the narrative is actively pushing them towards a moment that works. We get plenty of stepping stones, especially once we hit seasons 8 through 11 (and 11 most of all).

Seasons 4 & 5:

I know there’s been a lot of get together fics over the years set in this time period, but I just don’t see it. Do I see them being intrigued and drawn to each other? Yes. Do I think either Cas or Dean would act on it? Nope. I’m not arguing anything re: Dean’s feelings, but with everything going at the time I find it hard to believe he’d pursue anything with his angel friend. Most importantly here, though, is that during this time Cas was still very alien and other. There was too much angel in him, and while he obviously came to care about Dean (and Sam) very much, I just can’t see him navigating the realm of human relationships. That said, seeing human!Cas in “The End” is the first we see of potential developments for how Cas could behave without his angelness interfering. Being human changes Cas a lot, beyond even his experience existing among humans, though that of course matters too. This development will be important later /wink.

Seasons 6 & 7:

Before anything else let me just recognize that if we could see some sexual tension in seasons 4 & 5, these two seasons come with our first taste of romantic tension. The pining! Also note the difference between season 4 Cas and season 6 Cas in terms of behaviour. He is much less the angel we saw in that barn in “Lazarus Rising.” In season 6, we have a Cas making misguided decisions guided entirely by his emotions – namely, not wanting to involve Dean with the war in heaven – which is peak human, honestly. Put a pin on how sad Dean is in both seasons with Cas’s absence. Finally, put a pin on this being our first moment of Cas doing things on his own to spare Dean and it not ending well (soulless!Sam, Cas “dying” after Leviathan) because this is *the* hurdle in their relationship (along with Dean’s lashing out and self-worth issues). With all this said, the marked distance between Dean and Cas in these seasons negates the possibility of them entering into any kind of relationship. Much like seasons 4 and 5, there’s too much going on.

Season 8:

Ah, yes, the summer of purgatory. If you thought we had pining before…! I think we’re all very clear on season 8 being a turning point for the show, not only because new showrunner, but we also get the bunker. TFW now has an HQ, which pretty soon becomes home. Yes, Baby will always be home, but the bunker becomes the *unmovable* safe haven that Baby couldn’t be. The bunker is a place to coalesce, and for all the amazing things Baby is, she is not that. The acquisition of the bunker marks a shift in the psychology of the show: with the stable home space we can start to imagine domesticity, a place to come home to, the stuff of ordinary living. Most of all, the bunker is emblematic of security, of safety –keep this in mind, as we go forward.

This season also continues to see Cas go down the path of independently solving his problems instead of asking for help from Sam and Dean (his family in a way heaven never was) – note that the better together issue is at play in different ways with Sam and Dean also, but I digress. I also want to point out disastrous instance #2 of Cas’s insistence on figuring it out on his own: he loses his grace, and the angels fall. As for Dean, season 8’s focus for him has much to do with Sam, and them coming face to face with their issues with codependency, which hit catastrophic levels with the gates of hell and Gadreel plots.

So despite all the deliciously angsty get together purgatory fics and spec, there’s too much distance between Dean and Cas on Cas’s part due to his guilt over betraying the Winchesters in s6 plus slaughtering angels plus unleashing Leviathan. We do see Dean being more emotionally open with Cas and continue to voicing his wish that Cas would just stay with him and Sam, and let them help. It’s clear as day how much Dean cares. The timing is still bad, though.

Before moving on to next season, let’s take a moment to appreciate that this is the season Dean admits being kinda done with one night stands because “always with the adios.” Remember the bunker as a sign of stability? Yeah. I wouldn’t say Dean is craving a relationship, exactly, but I think we can see that he does want something more (ahem also I’m nodding to Cas refusing to stay put just cause).

Seasons 9 & 10:

The most important thing to happen between this two seasons is Cas’s stint as a human for an extended period of time. There’s been plenty of spec and meta written over the years about the effects of being human on Cas’s grace (a proto-soul now maybe?). What we can say for sure, regardless, is that Cas is much more humanized once he becomes an angel again. The understanding he gets from being human doesn’t go away once he regains his angel powers. You’ll notice that while we still see some of season 4’s characterization, Cas is not the same as he was – he is alien to angels now and is more intelligible to humans. Additionally, in an interesting reversal from previous seasons, we now get to see the depth of Cas’s feelings for Dean (thanks, Metatron) as well as seeing him be more open emotionally, while Dean does most of the pushing away (first because of Gadreel, then because of the Mark of Cain). In short, the timing is still bad as Dean and Cas are largely kept apart both physically and emotionally.

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait

This episode is my white whale, friends. While I’ve come to fully subscribe to the idea that something did happen between Dean and Cas during the fanfic gap, I don’t actually think it’s feasible that it marked the start of a relationship -- be it sexual or romantic. My reasoning here is quite simple: the timing is bad. Were it not for external events (Cas regaining his Grace and Dean taking on the MoC), the course would have likely differed. Furthermore, Dean’s guilt over making Cas leave the bunker as well as Cas’s own hurt and self-loathing pose a significant and as yet insurmountable obstacle, which is easily seen with how Dean and Cas’s character trajectories go separate ways.

YMMV on what exactly happened between them in that Motel, but something definitely did. Perhaps one day I’ll have a proper s9 trutherism post to link to here for more details (likely won’t be written by me, though).

10.16 Paint It Black

From the point Dean gets the MoC until the end of season 10, anything between him and Cas is quite impossible due to distancing, to say the least. Again, yes, the fic is really good, but alas. One of the reasons I’m bringing up this episode in particular is because of the confession scene. One, it’s a rare bit of explicit emotional honesty from Dean, and two, it tells me that while he and Cas may be well aware of the Thing™ between them, it’s still uncharted waters. It’s scary, and murky, and they’re unsure how to navigated it or if they should even try. Makes sense, too, there’s been A LOT going on since s6. Anyway, he’s the full confession:

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. […] Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. […] Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

Can I just say, first, that this confession keeps me up at night because we never actually see anything done with it explicitly? I mean, obviously, I think we do in fact see the effects of this confession in the show, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this behemoth, but still, like. Damn. Ok, so, remember when I brought up that thing in season 7 about Dean being kinda done with hook-ups? Here’s where that led us. We’re seeing a Dean here who wants more than what he has convinced himself he gets to have. He wants more than dying bloody. And when he talks about wanting to experience people and feelings differently, well, that says a lot not just on the queer coding front or the romantic front. I mean, jfc, Dean is accepting the idea that he can have more in life than just hunt until he drops, and he’s specifically talking about experiences at the interpersonal level.

Do you ever see a character having an epiphany and find yourself wanting to cry because this is it right here. Dean is just blatantly admitting he wants more and maybe he can make himself be open to that (!!!), which all culminates in season 11, so…

Season 11:

The pining is still here, but it’s worse now since it’s the whole plot? It’s been *checks calendar* 5 years of this. How are any of us still kicking I don’t know. Your slow burns could never. Cool worth noting points: Cas says yes to Lucifer (bad decision #2.5, lots of mitigating effects_I don’t actually hold it against him that much but Dean is another story & not entirely rational at this point); for the first time since the early days, Dean and Cas are on equal grounds: they’ve both fucked up a lot and have hurt each other. The issues this season are outside their dynamic. Amara and Lucifer here serve as externalizing forces for Dean and Cas’s problems: Cas checks out with Lucifer because he thinks it’s the only way he can help, Dean is caught up in the turmoil of Amara, the emblem of absence and avoidance of struggle. We do get something like an affirmation from the two of them to each other via Dean calling Cas his brother (and I want y’all to consider the historical queering of that statement, and Cas’s “I could go with you.” It feels like we’re headed to them being on the same page. By the end of the season, though, it feels like we’re getting a clean slate: Mary is back, nobody died, no end-of-the-world in sight, no interpersonal crisis. We’re also getting a new showrunner, so. No wonder. We’re gearing up for something, but I’m getting ahead of myself. What this season does that is super important is that it sets up the stage for the possibility of an actual relationship between Dean and Cas, something that has, up until this point, been pretty much impossible.

11.04 Baby

Y’all know what I’m about to quote here, right? That conversation between Dean and Sam about having something with someone who understands the life. Here we still have Dean reverting to the idea that it’s impossible, which is a direct contrast to the openness in 10.16. It’s understandable, though, considering there’s been little reason to think anything like that would be possible (see all the mess and poor timing from seasons past). The quote in question, though, marks a continuing development regarding the issues Dean is struggling with this season:

DEAN: Piper? That’s awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we’re lucky we still get that at all. SAM: Really? You don’t … Ever want something more? DEAN: I’m sorry, have you met us? We’re batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don’t ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But … Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

We wouldn’t be talking about this stuff all these years after Sam and Dean had a serious relationship if it wasn’t important, right? Also who else do we meet this season? That’s right! Eileen! And doesn’t that hit different with season 15 hindsight? And who does Dean have that understands the life? Whose stories have been intricately connected to his? Right now, this is all conjecture. A pipe dream Sam is revisiting, and Dean is skeptical about. Except, well. Look at what we get in “Into the Mystic” and “The Chitters.”

11.11 Into The Mystic

I’m bringing up this episode as a cross reference to “Paint It Black” as well as to complement the talk from “Baby,” and to show, again, that, for all the closeness between Dean and Cas, there’s still a marked distance they haven’t yet bridged. There’s still truths they haven’t told each other. Thanks Mildred for the delicious exposition:

Darlin’…If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years on the road, it’s when somebody’s pining for somebody else. […] Oh, don’t try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

11.19 The Chitters

And here we see some validation to Sam’s imagining of a possible future with someone else. We actually see hunters who not only are married, but they both make it out alive. Jesse and Cesar get their happy ending. They make the dream come true. And the reality of it important not just for Dean to see, but Sam too.

Dean: [with realization] Oh, so … [points back and forth to Jesse and Cesar] Cesar: Yeah. Dean: Okay, that’s… Cesar puts his beer bottle on the table and looks at Dean, while Jesse is being silent. Dean: What’s it like, settling down with a hunter? Cesar: Smelly, dirty. [turns to Jesse] Twice the worrying about getting ganked.

I’d like to point out, too, that the fear of getting ganked is thematic when it comes to the tension between Dean and Cas. More on this when we hit s13.

Alright, now, having said that, let’s take a look at season 12. Bear in mind, this is the official start of Dabb’s era, even if he kinda began taking over in season 11, and the change in vibes is obvious. In fact, 12 jumped out at me as a turning point, in hindsight, after getting smacked by the domesticity of seasons 13 and 14.

II. Why Season 12

[Out of date section. Update coming soon when spoons. After significant debate, I’ve altered the definitive start of Dean and Cas’s friend-with-benefits-with-mutual-pining relationship to between 12.02 and 12.03. I briefly explained why here, and yes it’s a shitpost--still true tho.]

Finally, the promise land, y’all. Getting right to it: what s11 was for Dean in terms of setting up the relationship stage, s12 was for Cas. In its initial beats, any way. That is, until the Kelly debacle, this was the longest Cas has been around the bunker and with the exception of seasons 13 and 14, it’s one of the first times we get to see how Cas might actually fit into the bunker-as-home. Things seem remarkably chill. Of course, we’ll notice that there’s still a lot of baggage hanging around because despite Dean and Cas being in a more stable place, they haven’t actually dealt with their interpersonal problems. I didn’t single out directly this episode, but do keep in mind Cas’s declaration in 12.09 First Blood as far as how much the Winchesters matter to Cas & how we also see Dean and Cas be particularly singled out with them seating together in the backseat of the Impala. What we also see this season is Cas trying to prove he is worthy of this family, his family. He’s not fighting for heaven or to right some grievous wrong (a la s8). No, this season he’s fighting to spare the Winchester, to bring them a win. To bring Dean a win. The major disconnect is that Dean (and Sam & Mary) already sees Cas that way, he doesn’t think Cas has anything to prove. And just maybe, Cas starts believing that too – or, at least, believing it enough.

12.10 Lily Sunders Has Some Regrets

This episode, oh my god, the goodness. In the wake of 12.09 we have Dean and Cas in a tiff because Cas mistake #3 (killing Billie and “cosmic consequences”), this is a pattern. Twice the worry of getting ganked, etc etc. But where this episode really shines is through the contrast between Ishim’s obsession with Lily and Cas & Dean’s mutual affection for each other. Ishim sees no difference here and, to him, Cas’s feelings for Dean are a human weakness. Returning to my point about human!Cas, this episode underscores that Cas’s increasing humanity is what puts him in the place where he can want what Dean wants instead of either being too alien to get it (see s4 & 5) or unable to experience it properly (Ishim).

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)

Cas’s trajectory culminates here with the whole I love you (@ Dean), I love all of you (@ Winchesters). Let’s note too that Cas is dying here, in a way that is much more human than going up in light. This declaration of different types of love is entirely human. It’s also a definitive step wrt to Cas and Dean’s relationship because of what happens in 12.19. This. is. it. Oh, and, of course, let’s not forget to point to Dean’s face when Cas says that “I love you,” and how terrified he is that Cas is dying. Might make one rethink some things, hm?

12.19 The Future

This episode is simply hella suspicious, and all the kudos to Berens and Glynn for writing it. It’ll haunt me forever. Consider watching it again and just questioning everything. So. Weird things:

1. Dean’s reaction to Cas no getting in touch as opposed to Sam’s. Dean is pissed, which is Dean-speak for worried out of his mind. Sam is very worried, too, and puzzled, but he’s mostly expressing his relief that Cas is back. But Cas has gone awol before, but this time Dean is much more worked up about it; Sam takes note of this, too. Now, let’s imagine that maybe the events of 12.12 led to something happening between Dean and Cas. Then Cas decided to leave to find a lead on Kelly, but eventually Cas decides to work with Heaven and goes radio silent. For days. Having taken a chance, and something having happened between them, how would Dean react to Cas just going poof and not contacting him – despite Dean having called Cas multiple times.

2. Cas knows about the Colt. Ok, nothing off there. But when he goes to Dean’s room to talk, right after Dean leaves we see Cas looking around briefly. Like he know Dean would keep it in there. Maybe Cas had looked other places already. Who knows. What we do know is that eventually he does find the Colt not only in Dean’s room, but under Dean’s pillow. Sam didn’t even know the Colt wasn’t in the safe. So how did Cas know?

3.“He came into my room and he played me.” So, this quote right there, makes it seem like some seduction for personal gain, right? But can you see Cas actually doing that if they hadn’t gone there previously? For Dean not to suspect anything and go with it? There’s plenty of plausible deniability here, but the gaps in time in the narrative make me question what is there in those spaces. The scene where Cas tried to give Dean the mixtape back doesn’t read like “playing,” so it’s about a different interaction. Hm. Hmmm.

4. Dean and Cas’s brief conversation in Dean’s room is clearly Dean just wanting Cas to stay, so they can work (and be) together – because they’re better that way. Which, yeah, truth, but also ow.

5.And most importantly: When did Dean give Cas that mixtape??? How did that happen?

Sequence of events: Cas tells Dean he loves him – Dean is clearly shook by it – Dean gives Cas a mixtape (romantic gesture, often a declaration of feelings; in true Dean speak too lolsobs) – Cas goes awol - Dean acts like he got ghosted by his new bf -?????- Cas somehow knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow – "He went into my room and he played me."

What am I supposed to do with that, hm? Like. Y’all realize they probably had some emotionally constipated getting together moment, right? Something that Dean clearly initially thought meant things were gonna change, now. Something that Cas couldn’t allow to happen until he could give Dean a win. Y’all are seeing this, yeah? I’m not saying they slept together and were full of feelings, except that’s kind of what I’m saying. But YMMV, there are other possibilities beyond sex. The full of feelings isn’t up for debate, though, even if the whole thing is informed by ridiculous amounts of miscommunication.

III. Seasons 13 through 15 As Established Relationship

Regardless of what happened in season 12, exactly, I can’t shake the feeling that something did happen, and something did change. My reasoning here is actually really simple: in comparison to previous seasons, Dean and Cas’s dynamic shifts significantly come season 13. I know some folks have been disappointed with some of season 13 and then season 14 for having dialed back on the destiel side of things. And, hey, maybe there’s truth to that in terms of backstage stuff, but I also want to point out that...well, the dialing back isn’t quite dialing back is it? Let’s look at 13 a little more closely:

Season 13:

So I said the deancas dynamic changed, right? I also think that change caught us unaware because the pivotal turning point that would cue us in never happened on screen as well as being subsumed by Cas’s death and Jack’s birth. But if I ask you about deancas in season 13 what would come to mind? Grief arc? Brokebacknatural? How domestic Dean and Cas are? There’s just something easy about their relationship after Cas returns from the Empty. The tension we’d grown so familiar with over the years is gone. Actually, it feels like we skipped the getting together bit of their relationship and went straight to established relationship and parenting. Some of the most peak married deancas moments we see circulating? Season 13, (and 12.10). It’s a lot, and it’s different, and it’s amazing.

13.01-13.05

Dean’s grief mini-arc. He was acting like a widower. Here’s me vaguely gesturing towards the mapping of Jonh, Mary, Dean, and Sam onto Dean, Cas, Sam, and Jack. And the reunion? I can’t help but be giddy at the song choice: “it’s never too late to start all over again.” To. Start. All. Over. Again. I’m just saying.

13.06 Tombstone & 13.16 Scoobynatural

I’m not going at length about these episodes, I just want to point out that they reveal that Dean and Cas have a whole thing going on off screen: they watch movies together, Cas knows about Dean being an angry sleeper, Cas seems to have been aware of the Dean-cave before Sam was. It’s little things like this that are examples of the narrative gaps surrounding Dean and Cas that have cropped up over the years. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder what else could be hiding there. And when did the movie nights alluded in “Tombstone” happen? Maybe in season 12 when Cas in hanging around the bunker? The same period when Dean and Cas seem to be coalescing into something safer and more stable? Something that we never see come to a head because plot happens and Cas dies? Something that is immediately taken back up once Cas is alive again?

Season 14:

Overall, this season is more of what we got during 13, but it had two high notes I wanted to single out before ending this already too long post.

14.15 Peace of Mind

Look me in the eye and tell me Dean and Cas talking in the kitchen about Jack doesn’t read like husbands talking about their child. Look me in the eye and tell me Cas just texting Dean to gossip about Sam isn’t couple-y as hell.

14.18-14.20

Ah, yes, the divorce arc. Awful. Terrible. The culmination of Dean’s problem in all this: he lashes out, he pushes Cas away, his anger is alienating. Cue all of us suffering. But while Dean is clearly in the wrong in how the deals with his feelings, let’s not pretend some of his anger doesn’t come from a long established, and unaddressed, rift between him and Cas, which had its last traumatic turn when Cas died in s12. Dean isn’t being rational here: he saw Cas doing something on his own, and he saw that his mother is dead. What else could happen? Why won’t Cas just trust they can work as a team? What if Cas died again? And why should Cas put up with Dean’s behavior without knowing the cause? How can any relationship work this way? But notice how caught in the middle Sam was during all this. Notice how Jack is running off and acting out. The whole family is falling apart. Divorce arc, indeed.

Season 15:

But what about what we’re building up in 15? That seems like it could be a getting together plot, too, right? Well, yeah. It could very well be. But I’d argue the tension we’re seeing isn’t a will-they-or-won’t-they because they already have. We’re are watching a getting back together plot! The tension is, instead, will-they-or -won’t-they use their words to talk about the baggage that has kept them from truly being confident about their relationship. That’s the crucial step in their togetherness that they’re still missing, which is also the bedrock of the divorce arc that spanned twelve fucking episodes -- y’all, that’s half a season.

And technically? We’re not even done with yet because Cas never let Dean finish his prayer/confession in purgatory. What’s more, Cas hasn’t grappled with his role in the breakdown of their relationship, either: that he keeps going off on his own and getting hurt (and getting other people hurt), and Dean has to deal with the fallout. The deep emotional understanding, the truly being on the same page is what we’re on the edge of our seats for. We’re waiting to see what else Dean had to say, and what will happen when Cas’s deal with the Empty comes to light.

Finally, could we still have this plot without Dean and Cas having gotten together off screen? Sure, but I think the stakes are higher if they already did have something between them. If they actually have an established romantic relationship going on. Something real and tangible and as of yet much too fragile.

"...you asked what about all this is real. We are."

#destiel #deancas #supernatural #spn #spn meta #this thing is gargantuan yikes #anyway enjoy? let's chat #my writing #this thing is half meta half my adhd unleashed

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rosezure · 3 years

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Todoroki Family - My Opinion

MANGA SPOILERS FOR BNHA/MHA ahead!

CW: parental neglect and abuse, anxiety, therapy, Touya Todoroki/Dabi, Enji Todoroki/Endeavor, spoilers, swearing (please remind me if I forgot anything).

Disclaimer: All of the information on the Todoroki family dynamics is based on my interpretation of what’s been (so far) revealed through the anime and manga. These are all just opinions, you are free to agree or disagree respectfully. I do not wish to invalidate anyone’s opinion. Family dynamics have always been a very sensitive and triggering subject to me, so I hope that you respect that if you wish to discuss this with me.I would like to give my own two cents on the Todoroki family situation. As someone that has dealt with abuse and neglect in a (slightly) similar way my whole life, this story hits very close to home. I will try to be as thorough and objective as possible. But, feel free to call me out (respectfully) if there is anything ambiguous or if problematic. Thank you.

I am going to focus on Touya/Dabi and Enji’s story. I do not know enough to talk about Rei’s role in all of this, so I will not mention her. But, I might update this as new chapters come out.

I will talk about Dabi’s early years by referring to him as Touya since that was his identity at the time. Any comments about him as an adult will be referring to him as Dabi.

I was a psychology student for about two years, and when we learned about child development, here is what I gathered:

When you are a child, all you want is to be loved, to be safe. This is essential to a child, as it is what develops them into a healthy and independent adult. And, this is especially important concerning parents or guardians. Effective parenting practices ensure that the child will have a better chance at developing according to their age and needs. This will grant the kids skills that they will use and perfect as they grow up. In other words, children that are well-taken care of have a higher chance of being strong, healthy, and emotionally developed adults.

When a parent or guardian is ignorant of how they can impact their child’s growth, it has many negative effects. In Touya’s case, Enji Todoroki was clueless. This does not mean Enji should not be held responsible just because he was ignorant. Enji knew he was not being the best parent, but he did not know how exactly. And, at the time he was blinded by his greed and ambition, so he would not have been paying attention to that. Even so, (personally) I do not think parents are afforded the luxury of ignoring their bad parenting if they are made aware of it. They are responsible for another human’s life and growth. They should be held accountable if the child develops issues and hurts themselves or even others.

With that being said, Enji Todoroki was a horrible but clueless parent. From what I have understood from the manga and the anime, at first, he had no idea why Shoto was so "rebellious" (in his opinion). He also seemed to not understand Natsuo and Fuyumi. So I am led to believe that he was, at the time, oblivious to how much he negatively impacted Touya.

Touya just wanted his father’s affection. If that meant grueling training and preparing to become a hero to defeat All Might, then so be it. It was the attention and affection he knew. He was not led to believe otherwise. Touya's sole positive interactions came from him showing he could fulfill his father’s sick dream. In a child’s mind, that was the only way to secure parental love and approval: To train as hard as possible and become what his father so desperately wished for.

Then his hair started turning white. He started getting injured because of his quirk. His only source of positive attention, his only hope for affection, was killing him. And it had to be stopped. I am sure in Touya’s mind, this meant he would not be loved anymore.

And then Enji stopped training him. Natsuo was born. Shoto was born. And Touya felt that his source of love was directed to that baby. The baby that Enji saw as a success. Enji made Touya feel like a failure, a broken toy. And he was being replaced by a newer, shinier one: His brother.

When he tries to attack Shoto, he is trying to take back his place. Touya was trying to gain back his father’s love and attention.

Enji wanted to prevent Touya from hurting himself more. But he failed to communicate that. Instead, his words made it seem like his plan was foiled. Touya wasn’t enough, so Enji’s chance of using him to end All Might vanished. Touya wasn’t what Enji needed anymore.

Touya’s world didn’t collapse all at once. It didn’t even crack all at once. From what I understood, it was a collection of hairline fractures that never healed. It was a dislocated shoulder that was never put back in its place and was left to hang. It was a pounding headache that only grew more and more painful over time.

When Dabi was born, Touya had been buried in bruises, paper cuts, minor broken bones, chronic illnesses. Touya was killed by exhaustion and pain. He didn’t die at one point, he was dying all along.

As someone who suffers from chronic issues, I know that the somatization of symptoms and other sources of pain can turn a simple illness into something much more serious. Think of it as a butterfly effect, but all inside one person: Every single negative experience, from both outer and inner sources, all summed and turned into one massive festering wound.

Touya’s mind was a living open wound, it seems.

So Dabi was born. To seal the wound shut. Clean it? No. Protect it? Maybe.

But this particular type of wound (the psychological, emotional one) if left untreated can become infected. And infected wounds are harder and more painful to clean and treat.

Dabi’s mind is a bandaid over an infected wound. It seems objectively okay, maybe even sane. But he’s clearly in pain. He’s not in his right mind. His decisions all stem from the pure rage and anger of a child that was abandoned.

What chapter 300 brought was the perspective of a child that just wanted to be loved. That's all he wanted. And the only love he knew was when Enji Todoroki trained with him, no matter how gruesome and painful it must've been.

I'm gonna briefly and superficially compare his situation to mine. Of course, I didn’t suffer half of the pain he did, and I won't go into any detail as to not trigger myself. But, I only got attention when I was either extremely sick or I was needed as a trophy child of some sort. Even then, if I was ill, the attention I got was so I could get well soon and go back to being "useful". I was an extension of them, at best. But I still craved their attention. I still do in a way to this very day. It's not something that just goes away once you realize how toxic and abusive it is.

No matter how much pain I’m in, no matter how love-starved I am, I still want their approval. Inside me, there’s still a scared child, crying out for her parents to love her. That child is now my responsibility. I have to give her love, nurture her so she can grow with me.

Does that make sense?

I have no idea how Dabi is feeling. And I don’t think we’ll ever truly know. He is fictional, after all, and there’s no telling if Horikoshi will be delving into that.

But maybe Touya is still inside Dabi, crying, screaming to be loved. And Dabi is trying his best to tend to that child, but he never truly grew up to know how to take care of another being. Dabi doesn’t know how to take care of himself emotionally.

I’m learning because I, thankfully, have access to therapy. But it hurts. It hurts to realize the ones that were meant to take care of you, didn’t. It hurts to look into yourself and see a shaking, teary-eyed child begging for crumbs of love.

Now, with the whole "redemption" thing being debated, here's my own personal opinion. You don't have to agree, and I'm not asking you to. Again, this is just how I view it. As a survivor, I'd be relieved to see my parents try. The damage is done, true. I'll never regain my childhood. I'll never have what people with different, better, parents have. The past can't be reversed. And I'm seeing it repeat itself with my little brother. But, if there's a minimal chance that my parents can own up to what they did, that they open themselves up to changing their behavior and learning, then maybe we can build something new.

Build. Not rebuild. The foundation of our past relationship was rotten from the beginning. A new one must be built. A new foundation must be developed if we ever hope to make something of our relationship.

If the Todorokis, really want to reconcile, reconnect, rebuild, then they must start from scratch. If Enji Todoroki wants that, he’s gonna have to start from zero, from nothing. And I'm not entirely sure if Endeavor is doing that, but he is trying, somehow. We don't know for sure if he even has the emotional skills to do so. We can't say for sure that he's got what it takes to man up, own up and learn. But, he seems to be trying.

And that's something I've accepted I'll never have.

So if there's at least a 1% chance that he is truly trying, that Enji wants to redeem himself, then let him. Let their family try and heal together if that's what they want.

I'm not sure about the Japanese culture when it comes to family. But where I come from, a family is an important base of our personal and social development, to the point that reconciliation more often than not is the best route.

Still, I know it's not for everyone. So I respect you if you believe he doesn't deserve a chance. I understand if you say Enji Todoroki should be kept far away from his family. You're right, and you're valid.

But, please, please, if the author decides that he redeems himself and does try his best to start a new relationship with his family, let him. Let them heal. Together. Let them try and make up for the lost time in the best way in the present. Let them rebuild.

I know I'd give anything to rebuild my family.

Let Touya be healed and put Dabi to rest. Touya needs to be loved, he needs to be taken care of like he never was as a child. Dabi needs to be told he tried. He needs to be told he did what he could.

But Dabi is also an adult now. He’s got legal responsibilities. The pain and devastation he’s caused and helped cause can’t be overlooked. He needs help, but he also had to be held accountable.

Touya/Dabi needs to face himself and start over. He needs to face the man he’s become and at the same time take care of the child he wasn’t able to be.

If the Todoroki family is reconciled, I dearly hope he gets to be a part of this new book. Not a new chapter, they need to throw that whole book away and start a new one. And, if possible, I’d love to see someone like me get the ending I won’t be getting.

I hope this made some sense at least. Again, if anything is unclear, ambiguous, or problematic, let me know and I’ll do my best to correct or remove the bad parts. If you’ve read this far, thank you. If you share a similar experience, I’m sorry, and I’m here for you.

#bnha #mha #bnha 300 #bnha 301 #bnha spoilers #bnha discussion #touya todoroki #dabi #enji todoroki #shoto todoroki #todoroki family #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #rei todoroki #touya #shoto #endeavor #endeavour

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yourreddancer · 2 years

Text

From a Dr:

In four years of medical school, three years of residency training, and nearly 30 years in practice as a family physician I have never been asked “what is the definition of a woman?”

Seems obvious that one could just look at the genitalia. You’re either a boy or a girl, right? Well, not always. Although it’s rare, many people are born with ambiguous genitalia. The OB/GYN and the pediatrician are simply unable to determine the sex. Historically, in consultation with the family, a sex would be assigned.

Turns out that often as not the child would ultimately identify with the sex they were not assigned. So it must be the chromosomes. The 23rd pair in humans is designated XX in females and XY in males. The Y chromosome determines male characteristics, so you are either a boy or a girl, right? Well, not always.

In embryology the default setting is female. The Y chromosome normally triggers male development. Ever heard of testicular feminization syndrome, now more properly referred to as androgen insensitivity syndrome? A normal XY baby is born with essentially normal female external genitalia. The body simply does not respond to androgens associated with the Y chromosome. As the child grows and enters puberty there will be normal female breast development and other feminine characteristics. Unless genetic testing has been done at some point, the abnormality is not discovered until the teenage daughter presents to the doctor with concerns that menstruation has not started. Examination will reveal that the vagina ends in a blind pouch, no uterus, and undescended testes. They are often very feminine - cheerleaders, beauty pageant contestants, etc.

Nearly everybody is a normal XX or XY, has anatomy to match, and is perfectly at peace with themselves. But not everybody. Several studies have identified how the sexual diversity between men and women does not exclusively involve the genitals, but also the development of different brain areas. And just as genitals can be ambiguous, or not match what XY would predict,so can the brain in some instances develop in a different direction than the genitals. Animal studies suggest this is likely due to atypical levels of sex hormones in the womb.

Studies in the human brain have involved an area of the limbic system known as the nucleus of the terminal stria. The volume of this area appears to be influenced by the stimulation of sex hormones during brain development, and in men the volume of this area is greater than in women. Scans of this area in transgender women (genetic/anatomic men who identify as females) resemble that of non transgender females. In this matter gender identity develops from the complex interactions between sex hormones and brain during its development; moreover, this appears to be genetically predetermined and is not influenced by hormonal stimuli during the adult phase.

Gender dysphoria often begins in childhood and can lead to severe distress, depression, and suicide. Treatment includes thorough psychological and medical evaluation and psychotherapy. Hormonal treatments in children are designed to delay puberty until decisions about appropriate gender characteristics can be made. The treatments are not permanent and are REVERSIBLE. Sex change (gender reassignment) operations are not done on children. (Rare exception might be in the case of ambiguous genitalia where surgery may be done to make genital appearance more consistent with the genetic sex).

Unfortunately there are many people who cannot or will not understand that someone different from themselves might really be different for a real reason. I recently watched a video of a Fox News personality guffawing, in an arrogant and grotesque display of not knowing what one does not know, about how "woke liberals" were looking into the science of what makes someone a man or a woman. I hope the information provided here explains why that question is not quite as simple as it sounds.

It is also unfortunate in Texas that people with political power seem to think that trans people just want to get on the girls' track teamto win a lot of medals or get in the girls' rest room to watch them pee. Governor Abbott, Lt Gov Patrick, and AG Paxton have shown profound ignorance and cruelty in decreeing treatment for these kids to be child abuse. Even right wing columnist Mona Charen called Abbott's behavior "malice masquerading as policy making". It is really no different than lunchroom bullies knocking the food tray out of the little autistic kid's hand and having a big laugh over it. And the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Family Physicians, AMA, American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, and the Endocrine Society have expressed outrage.

I would hope that someone will share this with a conservative friend. For most of us it seems ridiculous that a guy would think he is a woman, or a woman to think she is a man. The human brain and human body are complex and wondrous and get it right almost every time, but sometimes they get it different. And different should not be wrong, and different people and their families should not be attacked by their own government.

- Joe McCreight, MD

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linkspooky · 3 years

Note

hi, do you have any thoughts on itadori and mahito? specifically why mahito tell him that they are the same?

A. Yuji and Mahito is the Same...

Except they’re not. Not really. Yuji saves people without thinking, and Mahito kills people without thinking but there’s a clearly a difference between saving people and killing people. One of them is a whole lot less murdery. Rather than saying that they’re exactly the same, I think the narrative is setting up the idea that they are supposed opposites who have uncanny similarities to each other.

"I will say at once that both courses lead to the same result: the “uncanny” is that class of the terrifying which leads back to something long known to us, once very familiar."

The uncanny is the psychological experience of something as strangely familiar, rather than simply mysterious. Described as Freud omething that is both at the same time resembling a human, and clearly not human. The term comes from his 1919 essay Das Unheimliche, which explores the eeriness of dolls and waxworks. Why are humans creeped out by something that resembles them?

Freud offers his hypothesis about the uncanny: it something we have forgotten or repressed that is now coming to light against our will. The uncanny unsettles us because it reminds us of ourselves. The uncanny is a concept used repeatedly in psyhological horror, the concept of the doppelganger, dolls, mirrored images things which are human and remind us of ourselves can also subconsciously remind us of the fear of ourselves, so Freud says.

1. Baby Boy, Baby.

Mahito is, specifically the fear that humans have for each other. In that way he embodies the uncanny perfectly. He even looks uncanny. He’s the most human looking of the curses, but at the same time he looks like a stitched up Frankenstein’s Monster. There are many ways his behaviors are just plain wrong and contradict each other, he can talk with other humans, he’s polite, well mannered, always smiling, and then he can kill someone and laugh it off like it’s nothing. Mahito resembles a human, but his every single action is there to remind us that he is inhuman.

Mahito is also the mirror to humanity. Reflections are, things that appear human but are not. Reflections in the mirror look exactly like you, but they’re two dimmensional shallow images and they don’t move of their own accord. Reflections are another brand of doppelgangers. However at the same time, a mirror doesn’t lie, it just reflects. A mirror is just showing what is looking into it.

There’s a story by HP. Lovecraft. (Wow, first Freud and now HP Lovecraft, I’m sorry for citing all of these terrible, terrible men), called the Outsider. A human who is locked away in a castle its entire life finally escapes, and tries to join a party of other people they see from the outside window, only to see them all run off in terror. The last line of the story, after seeing a horrible monster, the monster realizes it was just looking at a mirrored surface and he himself was the monster that everyone was running from. The fear the story preys upon is the fear of oneself, and the fear of the ugliness in oneself that the mirror might show.

For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men. This I have known ever since I stretched out my fingers to the abomination within that great gilded frame; stretched out my fingers and touched a cold and unyielding surface of polished glass.

Mahito is a mirror that reflects Yuji, but only his bad traits. Mahito reminds Yuji of everything he dislikes about himself. Which is why Yuji sees Mahito as an enemy he can’t step forward without killing. So, what is this great similarity between them? I think the main one is that they’re both children.

Part of the foiling in the Young Fish and Reverse Punisment arc is that both Mahito, and Yuji are people that Nanami identifies as children. A cursed spirit who is still learning to be a cursed spirit, a child who is still learning to be a sorcerer.

Early on the arc makes it pretty clear how much Yuji loathes being seen as a child. It’s not that he thinks he deserves special treatment, it’s that Yuji hates powerlessness, he hates the lack of agency, he hates not being able to choose. He doesn’t like being strong enough, because that means he’s not in control of the situation, and he has no choice but to watch as his friends get hurt. Yuji nearly killed Megumi the last time he was powerless and gets things get out of control. Yuji hates being weak like a child, and not being able to be weak like a child, and the result of this is Yuji turns into a pretty self loathing person.

Yuji’s mistakes usually have big consequences. He lets Mahito get near Junpei, because he forgot about Nanami’s careful instructions to watch out and run away if he saw a cursed spirit with a patchwork face. It makes sense that Yuji would forget that in the moment, he’s just a child, it’s forgivable but Yuji never forgives himself for those mistakes. That’s where his self loathing comes from.

It’s the same when Yuji lets Sukuna rampage on Shibuya. It’s not Yuji’s direct fault, however it’s his mistake in losing the fight that enabled Sukuna to rampage so Yuji takes responsiblity and takes all the blame on his shoulders. The way Yuji sees it, it’s his fault for being weak in the moment, he hates his weak naive self, he hates how much he still acts like a child.

Yuji’s response to this however is to not think. To try to shut out those feelings of self loathing, to keep moving, to keep fighting, to fgiht against them so he doesn’t have to feel that way.

2. Evil.

Mahito is the uncanny foil to Yuji, Yuji doesn’t want to recognize anything at all about himself in Mahito, because Mahito embodies everything Yuji doesn’t like about himself.

Mahito’s written to be the foil to Yuji in all the ways that deeply unsettles him. Yuji is always thinking about what a natural death means, whereas Mahito is always killing people in the most unnatural and unnerving ways possible, warping them until they no longer look human.

Yuji is a strong and brave shonen hero, who is even willing to lay his life down for others. In fact he always agrees to risk his life a little bit too easily, like he’s just waiting for a cause to martyr himself on. Yuji is willing at almost any moment to die in the line of duty, Mahito is a coward who always runs away from his life and not only that a proud coward at that. Mahito considers his cowardice and his craftiness a good thing.

However, as Nanami says at the end of Reverse Fish and Young Punishment people don’t exist in these simple black and white categories. Junpei wasn’t just an innocent suffering victim, he also went Carrie and tried to burn the whole school down in addition to the people who bullied him. He tried to hurt Yuji, just for getting in the way.

Yuji sees people in categories of good and evil, but people don’t exist in those categories. Which is why Mahito is there to make him question himself. The uncanny similarity, because Yuji can act like Mahito without even realizing it. Not because Yuji is a good or bad person, but because he’s a collection of good and bad traits. Yuji is extremely caring person, but he also gets angry when people get hurt. Yuji is a very loving person to others, but also deeply self loathing.

Yuji wants to believe he’s selfless and good, and to an extent he is, but then he looks in the mirror and sees a monster, he sees Mahito who is so openly self involved and uncaring and he’s scared am I like that?

Yuji is someone who can become violent, angry, and obsessed with destroying someone too. At the moment killing a curse and killing a person aren’t really the same thing. However, there are two dangerous qualities about Yuji. One, he’s a foil to Geto. Geto is also, a rule abiding good boy, who just tried his best to save everyone around him. However, his definition of “everyone” changed.

That’s the comparison they’re making with Yuji when Mahito says “You kill curses without thinking.” Curses are becoming more and more human like. There’s Choso who is literally a human half breed, who like isn’t really responsible for his existence. It’s bad of course that Choso kills humans, he’s willing to kill innocents for his own survival, but he’s also like... a fetus who was kept in a jar for a hundred years. The boundary line between curses and humans are blurring, and at the same time Yuji once again sees the world in strict and rigid black and whites.

And Yuji’s response to this is usually “I don’t want to think about it.” Yuji wants to reject Mahito, his uncanny reflection in the mirror, and all the unnerving similarities between them. And it’s not really hating Mahito but loathing himself. Yuji hates himself, and wants to reject the possibility he can be in any way like Mahito because then that what he fears about himself might have been true all along. Yuji is, desperately self loathing, and also desperately trying to avoid having to look at himself.

And it’s once again because Yuji himself can’t fit into his own black and white definitions of good and evil. Yuji can’t forgive himself for his mistakes. Yuji just decides to accept, because he let Sukuna rampage, because he made that mistake he’s responsible for it, he’s a murderer now. Mahito isn’t really Yuji, but he’s a good reflection of how Yuji sees himself, and he also shows us why Yuji is so dead set on helping people. Because if he doesn’t move forward. If he doesn’t help people. Then he’s just a murderer. If he can’t save people, then why is he even alive?

#Anonymous #itadori yuji #yuji itadori #mahito #jjk meta #metasks #jujutsu kaisen theory #jujutsu kaisen meta #jujutsu kaisen daily #jujutsu kaisen #jjk daily #jjk theory #yuji mahito

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 3 years

Text

THE CHOICE

Prompt: When Finn starts to act weird,Y/N has her suspicions as to why he’s acting like that. But the reason behind his acts might surprise her.

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Finn Bálor(Fergal Devitt) x Reader

Warnings: Angst, jealously, smut(implied), fluff

Notes: I love me some jealous/clingy/needy Finn 🥰 Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

I rolled my eyes for the 5th time, as I heard him knocking on my home office door AGAIN, for the 8th time, in a 10 MINUTES break! I swear to God, I’m gonna loose my fucking mind if this keeps happening every 2 minutes!

“Come on in” I slight angrily said

“Hey again love, I know I’m bothering ya,but I really need your help with something!” He sheepishly smiles

“What is it now Finn?”

“I was thinking about ordering some pizza for dinner what do you think? Also I wanted to bake some cake for us, but I don’t know where ya keep the measuring cups”

“You? Pizza?” I ask in disbelief and he just nods with a sweet smile on his face

“And a cake? For us? You don’t even eat sweets!”

“I don’t need sweets, I got ya” he gives me a cheesy smile

“You’re so corny” I laughed “I thought you followed ‘a strict diet that excluded sugar and carbs’ so you could ‘keep your abs in shape for the girls’ “ I said imitating the words he used to say to me,to make me jealous,so I would agree to go out with him on a date.

“Fine, those were poor choice of words from my part, but on my defense I was trying to impress ya”

“Impress me, by making me jealous?”

“Reverse psychology love. I had to make ya think that ya didn’t want me so ya could really want me and accept my dinner invitation” He proudly said

“What? That makes zero sense!”

“But it worked didn’t? Here we are, 4 years later!” He gave me that devilish smirk

“Whatever!” I responded holding my laugh

“My answer is yes for the pizza. And the measuring cups are at the top shelf,where I keep the wine glasses” I turned to my desk so I could continue to work.

“Do ya want to help me?” He asks, with an innocent voice

“Finn, I’m working babe... I have to finish this report ‘til 3 p.m.”

“Oh” he says with an upset voice “Is John coming over to get it?” His voice changed from upset to slightly angry

“Yes, he’s coming over by 2 p.m.” And I regretted those words as soon as they left my mouth.

“Why is he coming by at 2 p.m. if you don’t have to deliver it until 3?” I turned around to face him and oh boy, my Irish man was not happy at all! It took a lot to take Finn out of his smiley happy mood but one thing that it sure did the job perfectly was John, my ex-boyfriend!

The company that I worked for was used to make some freelance contracts with certified translators, and by the irony of fate John was a very high requested certified translator. So it was no surprise to me when I found out that the big boss wanted to sign a contract with him, but what I didn’t saw it coming was that I would be the one designated to work with him. As much as I would like to decline it, I have bills and I need them to be paid, so I suck it up and accept the very bad taste joke fate has put it in my way.

But Finn on the other hand was not having it! He was recovering from an injury, so he was home 24/7 not being able to do what he loves, but now he also has to deal with John coming over,always showing up earlier and leaving way later than he was supposed to, while in the mean time tried to flirt with me...4 times a week!

I wasn’t very fondly of it either but like I said, this is my job! I can’t just say fuck off to the big boss, I need to pay my rent damn it!

To be honest Finn was acting pretty weird ever since John reappeared from the ashes... I expected some sort of jealousy attack or something but he just.. I don’t know.... He wasn’t following his diet(which was very weird considering he took that very seriously even when he was injured)started to act all needy and clingy, like a little boy. He followed me around EVERY WHERE, always needing to be comforted, wanted to be kissed and touched as often as possible and kept interrupting me every 2 minutes to draw my attention from work to him. I’m not gonna lie, I was getting slightly annoyed. I just want to get this damn job done, so I can stop looking at my stupid ex boyfriend’s face 4 days of the week, but Lord give me strength, cause Finn wasn’t helping me,not even one bit!

“Finny...”

“Don’t Finny me and just answer my question please”

“I don’t know why is he coming by at 2, my sunshine” I tried to remain as calm as I could

“Did you asked him to come by earlier?”

I turned to face him with a very annoyed look of disbelief on my face

“Are you seriously asking me this? Oh boy, I just hope that this is one of your bad taste jokes...”

“I am serious! Did you or did you not asked him to come by earlier? It’s a simple question!”

“You know what Fergal? I’ll just pretend I never heard that, because the last person I want to fight or lash out is you” I said as I turned to my desk again.

“Oh great, so you’re choosing him huh?”

“What?” I looked at him in shock

“If you want him back, then fine, go with him!”

“What the actual fuck are you talking about?”

“John! That’s what I’m talking about! I know you want him back! If you want to choose him and be with him go for it! I don’t care!” He screamed and turned away closing the door so forcefully I thought it was gonna break in half.

“Where the hell you think you’re going Fergal?”

He did not just accused me of wanting that asshole back plus started a fight and walked away! Well he should’ve known better, because now I was ferociously angry as I followed him to our bedroom ready to punch someone in the face!

“Fergal, don’t you even dare to lock that do-“

The motherfucker just closed the door in my face! And lock it!

“Finn, open the door!”

“Go away Y/N”

“Fergal don’t be so ridiculous!”

“I don’t wanna talk to ya”

“Finn open the door damn it!”

“It’s 12:30 ya should go and get ready for ya boyfriend”

“YOU are my boyfriend”

“I know ya don’t want me, ya want him, no need to lie! So don’t make this worst for me and just leave please...”

His voice sounded so sincerely hurt that all of my anger washed away

“Finn...baby, what is this all about? Why are you acting like this?”

He didn’t answer

“Finn?”

Still no answer

“C’mon Finny, don’t be so childish,love”

When I was left speaking alone for the third time I went to the bathroom down the hall and grabbed the spear key to the bedroom that I kept it in the drawer of the bathroom cabinet.

I opened the door to find Finn lying on the bed with his back facing the door.

“Finn” I tried to get him to talk, when it didn’t happen I walked to the bed and laid down beside him.

Solid 20 minutes had passed and he still didn’t said a word, so I gave up, got up from the bed and when I was about to go out the door he whispered

“Are you gonna choose him?”

I turned around and made my way back to my original spot.

“Can you at least look at me so I can answer you properly?”

He turned around and I had never seen such a broken look on those beautiful ocean eyes of his

“It’s ok if ya want him back, I understand it...”

“Finny, where did you get all these from baby?”

He shrugged his shoulders

“Finn look at me, I would never EVER in a million years leave you for John baby! What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know...he’s better than me in everything. He’s taller, prettier, more successful, more educated...I mean he match with ya perfectly...”

“Finny why are you saying such bad things about yourself? John’s got nothing on you babe! You’re my sunshine, my everything, the only man that I want, the only man that I need!” I cupped his bearded cheek and suddenly something hit me

“That’s why you were doing those things? The baking, the junk food, the being extra needy and extra clingy?... Is this your way to show me that you’re jealous?”

“Not really....this was my way to make ya choose me instead of him... I wanted to be the perfect man for ya.. so ya wouldn’t leave me...”

My heart broke with those words and my eyes filled with tears.

“Baby no...” Was all I could say before I pulled him towards my chest and let his head rest on my breasts.

“You ARE and ALWAYS will be the perfect man for me! I love you for who you are! You don’t need you to change anything, you were and will always be my perfect gift from the universe. My ray of sunshine”

He looked up and I couldn’t help but kiss him passionately.

“You promise?”

“How can you even ask that?” I smiled

“I’m sorry for the things I said before... I was angry and jealous..I was just so scared to lose ya..” He hugged me tighter and pecked my lips

“You’re stuck with me Devitt!” I chuckled

“I wouldn’t want it any other way love” he sweetly smiled at me

“So my baby boy is a jealous one huh? Getting all clingy and needy...” I teased him

“Ya have that effect on me babe” he laughed

“He needs constant proof that he is loved” I started to kiss his neck

“And wanted” my hands roamed his chest and abs

“And needed” my hands stopped at his crotch

“Hmmmm what are ya doing love?”

“Maybe” I straddle his hips “I should show you how much I love you” I started to hump him “Need you” I lowered my lips to his ears “And just how much you turn me on”

“That would be nice ya know?” He said with a low voice and placed his hands on my hips to establish a rhythm to our now dry humping.

“Yeah? Would you like that baby?”

“Mmhhmmm..that would be a great confidence boost for sure love” He started to kiss my neck

“And how could I help you with that?”

“Oh I’ve got a few ideas...”

“So tell me”

And my eyes closed to enjoy every dirty thing that beautiful Irish man wanted me to do with him.

And boy I was more than eager to!

#finn balor imagine #finn balor smut #finn balor x reader #finn balor one shot #finn balor fanfiction #finn balor #fergal devitt #wwe imagine #wwe one shot #wwe fanfiction #masochist writes

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obeymeluv · 4 years

Text

Diavolo as a Dad

I just want to take a sec and thank everyone for the attention this blog gets. I’m always surprised at how many notes and reblogs there are. Seriously! I have, like, 16 posts and somehow I have 400 followers?! It’s really nice (つ´∀｀)つ

I like it best when there’s comments. It makes me happy ＼(^o^)／

I saw a comment on “The Bros as Dads” post asking for Diavolo as a dad, so here you go. I tried to tag you, but your handle didn’t come up :/

Hopefully you guys like this. I feel like Diavolo’s character is very vague.

This kind of turned into general Diavolo headcanons + Diavolo as a Dad. My b.

General Diavolo Headcanons:

I headcanon that demons have a natural attraction to humans not only because of whatever energy they could provide, but because there’s something innate that makes them want humans. Maybe like an ancient call to their corruptibility or something. Or simply a predator coaxing prey into the den.

Diavolo is especially susceptible to this because he’s the prince. The higher up in the demon hierarchy you are, the more you want humans for their spirit, purity, the soul contract, and just some kind of satisfaction only they can give

There’s probably a forbidden fruit element to it, too. Demons were harassed by humans and angels alike to leave them be, and that just made them more attractive

He genuinely wanted to befriend humans and knock down some old walls and superstitions, so he made the exchange program. A lot of times the sheer excitement of making it happen is enough to take the edge off his demon side. Ignore the whispers saying the little human would be such a treat, like a little lamb in the palm of his hand...

Diavolo’s a pretty outgoing and friendly guy who’s been trapped in a castle of propriety and demands. This human is also his chance at escape, to learn more than books could ever teach him.

At first he’s worried about seducing them (like the old call demands) but when he realizes the human has a crush on him without that influence, he’s stoked.

Pure and perfect, right? THE example of what his program was trying to achieve!

The dates start off innocent and cute--studying and tea in the castle, a small brunch here and there. Diavolo has skipped out on several duties because he simply must treat you to Devildom cuisine! If he didn’t, they wouldn’t get the full experience now, would they?

Barbatos has had to hunt down Lord Diavolo more than he cared for. If you end up convincing Diavolo back to the castle, he respects you. He appreciates the extra babysitter.

You bring a joy to Diavolo’s lavish monotony and he wants the Devildom and human world to know he’s serious about forging better bonds, so he asks if you want to make a pact.

That’s what he says, but it’s so much more than that. Diavolo couldn’t put it all into words and you probably don’t have the lifespan it would take for him to explain (if he could).

At most, there’s something warm and giddy and pulsing in him at the thought of being so close with you. Two souls sharing a bond. Being looked at with such love and adoration...

His pact mark is large and elaborate, and he takes great joy in hiding it from the Devildom, relishing the rare mornings where he helps you dress. He doesn’t regret bonding with you, but he doesn’t want to draw unsavory attention.

Diavolo as a Dad (when you’re pregnant) :

You realize you’re pregnant before Barbatos and Diavolo do, neither one of them very familiar with how humans carry the pregnancy or change throughout.

There’s subtle signs about how your skin is changing, the way your hair looks, and how you smell different. It’s firing off in Diavolo’s brain, tickling at the edge of it, but he can’t figure out what it is.

Barbatos consulted Solomon and got extra suspicious. When you realize he’s starting to put it together, you do the reveal.

You write a note and draw a picture of the pregnancy test, mixing it up in the papers he has to review. Then, just to be extra cute, you busy yourself about the castle to “give him private time”.

Diavolo is handling his paperwork, per usual (it’s almost automatic). The unofficial form catches his eyes since it’s more a note than anything. He reads it and suddenly the WHOLE CASTLE is up in arms with joy.

Doesn’t matter what room you’re in, you heard him. That big, joyful laugh that works his whole chest.

The Little D’s of the castle are skittering around and whooshing through walls to help him find you. You can hear him flying around and calling for you, and it’s like the times you’ve played hide and seek.

The second Diavolo finds you, he crushes you to him and smothers you with kisses. His eyes sparkle as he snuggles you, big purr rolling through his chest. He’s asking a million questions about human children

The two of you take classes together. He studies up on humans and you learn about how to care for demon babies.

Barbatos cries inside at the thought of baby-proofing the castle. He gets the bright idea to hire a bunch of moms and they do sweeps of the castle, tidying up and making lists of what needs to be put away or added to make it safe

You’re given a special brew (exclusive to the royal family) and drink it daily. It fortifies your body to deliver the child and gives the baby its royal heritage (basically makes sure Diavolo’s genes and the demon side comes out a bit stronger).

Even though it tastes good and something in it makes you want to drink it, you’re sick of it by the second month. Barbatos and Diavolo continue to insist that you do. The child should be at least half-demon and will need to be recognized as next-of-kin for ruling.

Diavolo would love to take you out to socialize and attend public classes, but he’s busy and you’re in a delicate state. The royal physicians say the brew does a lot internally so it’s best not to stress you too much (If he’d done The King’s Brew ritual before you were pregnant, the baby would’ve been 3/4th demon and you wouldn’t have so many restrictions. Who knew?)

There’s a lot of private dates around the royal gardens and any beautiful sight he can give you. If you want company, he invites people to you. You want exquisite food? Barbatos can cook, but if you don’t want his cooking then Diavolo can have it delivered. The castle is spacious enough for you to get your daily exercise with simple walks.

He adores seeing you in the royal colors and is constantly sharing visions of diaphanous gowns and anything that can make you comfortable to the designers. Always gushes when he sees you in something new.

Being an old-fashioned demon prince, he does a series of small oil paintings instead of maternity photos. When you explain that maternity photos are more of a human thing, he books a session so the child can see both (the oil paintings are tasteful and appropriate for the castle but they all end up in his study).

Is totally on board with helping you dress (or laying in bed with your huge baby bump when clothes seem a bit hard for the next 5-10 minutes), and taking long, relaxing baths.

Takes his paperwork to bed so he can watch you sleep. You might snore, and the bed is almost comically huge, but you look so relaxed that Diavolo swears you lied to him about being purely human

His favorite thing to do is rub ointments and tinctures on your belly to help your skin. Loves to give you shoulder kisses while he does.

When he finds out you’re having a boy, he commissions tiny matching outfits. He doesn’t know if he wants to gush over the details or cry (”Barbatos, how inconceivably tiny! Isn’t it amusing?”)

Diavolo as a Dad (for real) :

Has to be given very explicit instructions about age-appropriate play because the minute the kid is crawling Diavolo’s going to want to play with him like a toddler.

Lets him teethe on old antique gold stuff that gives Mammon an aneurysm when he realizes what the kid’s doing (and how expensive the thing is in his hands).

Had a treasure chest-style bassinet comissioned because his kid is his treasure. One of the two--two and a half, with Barbatos--greatest treasures in his castle.

100% uses the kids to shirk his royal duties, but you and Barbatos keep him on a tight leash. Literally. He has a coupon allotment for the week (if you didn’t do the coupon thing he’d NEVER get any work done).

He LIVES for the skin-to-skin contact and is very disappointed when he has to put clothes back on for guests or meetings. He’s just doing what’s best for his son, okay?

That child is going to be spoiled AF. Always wanting to be held or next to his papa.

Diavolo isn’t allowed to do the chest carrier because he gets so excited about stuff he might sling the kid around on accident (Barbatos banned it after he held the baby through some paperwork and spent half the time playing with his feet).

Can never get over how tiny his son is, or how he can hold him in one hand. Somehow works it into every conversation.

Will work his kid into every conversation. Has pictures to go along with it.

His official Devilgram is 80% his kid or you (or both), 5% Barbatos, 5% other people, and 10% bad shots he doesn’t know how to delete.

Almost all of his Devilgram videos were taken by Barbatos because Diavolo absolutely loses it when the baby speaks gibberish. He dies laughing and just can’t hold it together. The video is just shaky and blurry otherwise.

You’d think every time he sees him is the first time because Diavolo is so smitten and amazed

The Little D’s of the castle are always giggling to themselves and racing to tell you that they caught Diavolo peppering kisses on his little baby forehead or fists.

He’s a really involved and happy dad. Childlike and joyful by nature, he’s super invested in his kid. Sometimes it’s like you have two, but Diavolo means well.

Decent at all reverse psychology ploys. Kid doesn’t want mommy’s affection? More for him! Kid’s not hungry? He’ll eat it, then (and the dessert that they totally can’t have now)!

Can’t really discipline. Feels too guilty. Threatens the child with Barbatos or you.

Is really surprised when the kid has a ‘mom day’ where it seems like he doesn’t exist but totally understands (”Your mom has that affect on me, too.”)

Hope you liked it :)

#Obey me!#Obey me! x Reader #Diavolo x Reader

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not-safeforsanders · 4 years

Text

Be My Baby / Devil Like You

This fic is based on Bea Miller’s Be My Baby, and Gareth Dunlop’s Devil Like You. Yeah I know, that’s a bit of a whiplash between two songs.

Fic Synopsis: Roman knows how to dance, Patton knows how to pray, Remus knows how to use his mouth and Logan knows how to shut it. Meanwhile, Virgil and Janus think they’re all idiots and are begging for some healthy communication. (University!AU) (18+)

Warnings: mentioned transphobia.

Ships for the whole fic: Intrulogical, Royality, Anxceit, Logan/Remy/Remus/Emile. (Lomile and Remus/Remy separately too)

Word Count: 2716

Remus adores Remy, he hasn’t stopped talking about him since they’d met. Logan doesn’t even have it in him to be jealous because the genuine excitement the other is displaying is...nice. Unlike Logan’s quiet form of a crush on Emile, Remus does not shut up about his infatuation for days after their initial coffee date, to the point where Logan is practically begging his partner to just ask Emile for Remy’s number after their next session.

He doesn’t ask after their next session, Emile has barely stepped through the door before the dark-haired man is accosting him. Luckily the psychology student finds it nothing less than endearing. “He was fidgeting the entire session, but he seems excited and that’s definitely a plus,” he relays back to his old friend over a cup of coffee in the shared kitchen adjoined to Logan’s flat. “Getting him to concentrate was difficult though.”

“Do you not mind that someone is pining over your boyfriend?” Logan asks curiously.

“I’d be a hypocrite if I did,” Emile replies quietly, before sipping his cup of coffee, the curious look does not leave the other’s eyes and some part of the usually soft-hearted man just wants to snap, or scream. Or ask if Logan really does walk around with his eyes screwed fucking shut because there’s no way that he’s still oblivious right? There’s no way he hasn’t noticed, what does it take for this man to take a hint and understand? “We’re both polyamorous, although Remy’s...not really one for dating usually, however he does seem to have taken a liking to Remus, I think maybe he’s curious about him and it’s not as though he’s not attractive.” That much is true, and the man knows he’s not unattractive, Logan would find it insufferable if he didn’t admire the fact Remus has all the confidence in the world.

“I hope things work out between them, not just because I’m not very good at comforting people, but I think they’re very alike and are compatible with each other.” That also, is true. They both sip their coffee in silence, staring at the coffee table and avoiding each other’s gaze for a little while; like there’s something they both want to say, that they both want to ask...and so much they want to avoid too. No amount of love can shake the fact that Logan abandoned Emile, and even if the man in question accepts him back with open arms and forgives and forgets...can Logan himself ever be okay with that fact?

He missed Emile, and he didn’t even realise that he missed Emile. What sort of person does that make him?

“You’re overthinking,” the man whose hair is, as of late, highlighted in dark pink, interrupts Logan’s thoughts, twirling a strand of hair around his finger as his narrowed eyes scrutinise his friend. “You’ve got that face on,” he can still read him like an open book. Training to be a licensed counselor suits Emile, but his intuition alone goes a long way.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be, do you want to talk about it?” there’s a long pause, before he sighs and sits up.

“How can you just...forgive me? How are you just smiling at me and talking to me, and helping my friends? You should be angry.”

“I am angry.” Emile replied. “But I’m not as much angry at you as I am with the situation,” he leans up and places his cup on the coffee table, crossing his legs on the seat and leaning back against the back of the couch, his hands resting in his folded legs. “Remy told me that you wouldn’t just stop talking to us without a reason, and I knew he was right...for a while I blamed myself, I thought maybe it was something I did, I thought maybe you’d figured out I was gay and…” his jaw clenches a little “...but then I blamed you, and I blamed you for about a year, I was so, so angry with you that I felt like if I ever saw you again I was going to slap you.” Logan flinches. “Then, lastly, I just accepted that maybe we’re both victims of a very poor circumstance and there’s more to blame here than just people and choices made; you made a bad choice, I mean don’t we all at least once in our lives? But I knew there was no way my best friend would just choose not to talk to me without a damn good reason to do so.” He shrugs. “You weren’t here, so as far as I’m concerned it’s not for you to question whether or not I’ve forgiven you, or even why, but just accept that whatever my choice is that it’s the one I came to by myself. If I really thought you had ill intent we wouldn’t be talking right now.” His voice is so firm and decisive that it sends a shiver running down the other man’s spine.

“Okay,” Logan accepts this with a nod, his lips pulling into a small smile. “Then I respect your free will to make whatever choices you wish with your life.” He understands though, he thinks if the roles had been reversed he’d have forgiven Emile in a heartbeat.

It was a shock to see him again though, in fact Logan is still processing the fact that this was his high school best friend sat in front of him. He’d put on some weight since then and he looks happier, healthier, taller too, his hair is thicker and curlier and...everything about him just seems like he grew up. Not in the sense that he forgoes any and all childishness, but like he finally figured out how to look after himself. Logan has many regrets in life, but he thinks his biggest will forever be that he missed the chance to see Emile become a man.

He remembers the first time he ever met Emile, this lanky kid who never seemed to be in control of his own limbs, his hair too short and his discomfort in his own existence evident all the time. Then he remembers running into Emile a few weeks ago and seeing this person that he’d known, but with a bright smile that reached his eyes, his blonde-brown hair thick and curling, he’d turned around and saw Logan and stepped back for a moment. Then the smile returned.

It seemed like fate, if either of them weren’t too practical to believe in something like that.

Sitting across from him now, Logan thinks that if he wasn’t so wound up by what he’d done to the other man it would feel like no time had passed at all. They’re both different people, but the way they tune into each other’s feelings is unchanged; the way they talk is without the barrier of time, as though somewhere deep down those uncomfortable teenagers are still in there and looking for the only solace they had; their friendship. And Remy’s of course, because although Logan jokes at his expense, he doesn’t think he would’ve managed his teenage experience half as well without that man.

Remy was always the one in the group who had a handle on every situation. He was clever, he was great with STEM subjects, and art, and everything. He didn’t get into their high school on a whim or anything, he was genuinely clever...but he never much liked to care about it. Whilst Emile and Logan were cramming for tests, he’d be the one dragging them away from textbooks to get them to practise the very basic amounts of self care. Logan did not cope half as well without the two of them.

The last text he ever got from either of them was Remy, too. Emile gave up after a few months, likely because he was too upset to keep trying. It took Remy a year to stop, he kept updating Logan on the things happening in their lives with no expectation of a reply, and unbeknownst to him, Logan read every single one.

Because, if nothing else, he’s fucking stubborn. It’s how Remy survives, stubbornness and sheer spite. And love for his friends.

Logan smiles at Emile, because he missed him, because he loves him; because this man has too much love in his heart and there is not enough people in the world to give it too. And then he says it. “I love you,” it just slips out of his mouth, and his cheeks go very red as he surprises himself. But the soft expression doesn’t leave.

“I love you too, Lo,” he never doubted that for a second.

Neither of them elaborate, even though they really should.

Patton wanders into the kitchen around midday on Thursday, he has no idea what he’s having for lunch, but he does know that he’s very much hungry. He opens one cupboard, then closes it, then another, then closes it, then realises he didn’t even really look in the cupboard. With a sigh, he leans against the kitchen counter and hums to himself, thinking way too hard over something as simple as lunch. The kitchen door opens and Janus walks in humming to himself, his phone in his hand and one earphone in his ear. “Afternoon,” the blonde tugs his one earphone out and shoves his phone in his pocket. “What did the floor do for you to be staring at it so hard?” Patton smiles and shakes his head.

“I don’t know what I want to eat.”

“When all else fails, a bowl of cereal will suffice.” The taller opens his own cupboard and pulls out what looks like a bag of nuts and fruit. “Want some? It’s honey and seed flavoured, it doesn’t say what seed but now that I’ve eaten some I’m fairly certain it’s sunflower seeds.” Remarkably healthy for a student. Patton nods and leans down to open his own cupboard, pulling a bowl out from it.

He moves closer and places the bowl down, before he steps back a little his eyes go to Janus’ arm. He’s wearing a vest, and it’s rather distracting, not just because he is built up of the sort of lean muscle a man gets from daily exercise or perhaps working in a warehouse (okay, maybe a little), but because there’s a tattoo of a snake coiled around his upper arm, and absentmindedly Patton thinks he wants to touch it. “Do you like tattoos?” Janus asks, looking over at him with a smile. “I got that one done when I was 16, but that’s a secret,” he winks, and Patton’s cheeks flush at just a simple action.

“I’ve not seen many up close before, it looks really nice...can I...touch it?” He looks up, eyes wide, the blond man raises his eyebrows but nods in response. Patton’s hand reaches up, tracing the lines with his fingertips, it feels smooth, not even like there’s anything there at all. He brings his hand back down. “I expected it to feel like...like it’s bumpy or something but it just feels like skin.”

“They’re raised a little when they’re first done,” Janus moves away to grab milk from the fridge, pouring some into each bowl. The two starts to eat, leaning against the kitchen counter “And a little sore, but not really painful...sort of like sunburn I suppose, then it gets a little itchy, but after that they’re fine.”

“Do you have more?”

“No, but I want more,” they hear a door open and close and look up towards the door in anticipation, Virgil pushes open the kitchen door, wearing boxers and a baggy shirt, his hair a mess. “You were taking too long and I missed you,” he yawns, moving to lean against the counter. “Hi Pat,” Janus raises his arm and Virgil wraps his own around his boyfriend’s waist, burying his face in the other’s neck. They seem so happy together, and comfortable around each other; he really wishes he had someone like that, or that he could have someone like that.

“Do you have any other tattoos Virgil?” Patton asks curiously.

“I have two in total, the one behind my ear and…” he shuffles around a little to pull his shirt up, Patton’s eyes go a little wide “...my top surgery date, right here,” just underneath the left side of some healed scars on his chest is a little date, tattooed to his skin. Patton isn’t really looking at that though, he steps closer, staring.

“What...happened?” he asks, because he genuinely doesn’t know.

“I’m transgender,” Virgil replied, because he’s used to that question. “These scars are from when I had my tits removed.” Patton’s mouth opens and closes, once or twice.

“Woah,” he finally replied. “That’s...cool, did it hurt? Afterwards, I mean?”

“A little, especially if I moved too fast...that was a damn nightmare.”

“He acted like an invalid half of it.” Janus chuckles, shaking his head, “...all I heard for weeks was ‘babe can you get me this?’ and ‘babe can you get me that, don’t you feel oh so sorry for me?’” Virgil rolls his eyes and pokes the other in the side, then snorts when he tries not to spill cereal everywhere.

“So...uh...sorry...are you gay?” He points at Janus, and then at Virgil because he figures that matters too. They both nod, looking at each other to see who is taking the explanation part, it’s almost like they silently communicate and it’s so sweet that Patton wants to cry.

“Sexuality is fairly complex,” Janus finally replies, “Some people are attracted to primary and secondary sex characteristics, some to secondary or primary, some to neither...in my case I kind of just fell in love with Virgil over a period of time, I mean he was just always there and it never even really crossed my mind that he was trans, it just wasn’t a factor for me at all...in general, in my day to day life I tend to find men attractive based on completely random qualities, like jawline or eye colour; some people are very much adamant about the idea that being a gay man is an attraction to a dick, but I suppose that says enough about their personality.” He presses a kiss to the top of Virgil’s head.

“I think I understand,” Patton thinks aloud. “I don’t think I’d care either way if Roman was trans, he’d still be him,” his cheeks flush red “I...I mean…”

“Your secret is safe with us,” Virgil zips his lips.

“Oh my God,” Patton muttered, burying his face in his hands.

“It’s alright,” Janus adds “Patton, it’s really alright, I promise you, one day it really will not be so scary to you.” his deep voice is comforting and he always sounds so sure of himself, that Patton can’t even think to disagree, so he just nods with a small but sad smile. “And hey, if you ever want to talk to someone who isn’t Roman then we’re here dude, I figured that maybe Logan wouldn’t be your first port of call with emotional shit and getting Remus to talk about stuff like this must be a nightmare so...you know where our rooms are.”

“Thank you,” the smaller man wraps his arms around himself like it’s a forcefield of some kind. “Oh, uh...guys?” he asks, clearing his throat. “Sorry but, uh, do you think you could keep it down a bit at night? I don’t mind so much during the day but I also need to sleep,” he blushes (he’s starting to think blushing should be his day job, because he’s in a constant state of embarrassment around every single one of his flatmates), Virgil laughs, and nods.

“Sure thing,”

“Thank you.”

Well, acknowledging sex exists sure is a first step, at least.

#not safe for sanders #bmbdly

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xaeons · 3 years

Text

With stars in her eyes

The results came back. She'd taken a short breath and opened the letter with shaky hands. She was in Hanji's office, Hanji standing next to the dirty blonde. Slowly Elizabeth opened the letter. Hanji watched the expression of the woman next to her, she watched Elizabeth's face drop. Hanji's voice spoke up, "Based off the look on your face I think I know what the results are..." The other woman nodded and smashed her face into Hanji's shoulder. Elizabeth sniffled, "What am I going to tell him? He's already upset with me because I've been acting 'strange'." "In my opinion, you should just tell him." "Hanji, he's going to tell me not to go on the expedition." "Well you shouldn't. As your friend and now confidant, I also would advise you not to go." "Hanji, we leave tomorrow. There's not enough time to replan everything and find a replacement for me. This is the biggest expedition, we need to protect Eren." Hanji grimaced, "Liza, you're pregnant. Obviously far enough along to have morning sickness and other symptoms. You can't do this." "Hanji, it's one expedition. I've done this thousands of times. I won't be on the front lines this time. I'll be okay." Hanji shook her head, "I can't stop you. But as your friend I want you to think this through." "Promise me you won't tell anyone Hanji, and I mean anyone. After we get back I will do whatever you want me to, tell Mike, let you dote on me, anything. But I can't back out of this. It's too late." Hanji hugged Elizabeth, "I promise. Go down to breakfast. I'll meet you down there."

Hanji had other plans. She snuck towards the commander's office. She knew that if she had anything to do with it, she'd get Elizabeth out of this expedition. She didn't technically lie to her friend, she bent the truth a little... but only for her now pregnant friend's health! She knocked on the door a few times when she heard Erwins voice come through faintly. Hanji opened the door and shut it behind her. She looked at Levi and Erwin. Erwin looked up to her, "Yes Hanji? I'm finalizing a few more things before tomorrow's outing. I'm quite busy." He gave her a look to speak. Hanji gave a nod, "It's mostly important. I think we should have Elizabeth stay on the sidelines this upcoming expedition. She's been throwing up and I'm afraid it'll affect her work tomorrow. I was wondering if we could have her sit this one out?" Erwin shook his head, "It sounds like she has nerves again. She used to get that way often when we were cadets and had just joined up. This is an important thing we're doing tomorrow. It's too late to move her around. Everybody has their positions memorized and it might make things messy moving it around. She'll be fine Hanji, she always is and has been. Trust me." Hanji nodded, "Understood sir." Levi gave her a look and Erwin had dismissed her.

Hanji left the room feeling unsatisfied with how Erwin swept this under the rug. She heard someone's footsteps behind her, she turned to see Levi catching up to her. His voice rang out, "Someone's awfully upset Erwin couldn't move people around for her friend." Hanji stopped dead in her tracks and turned to Levi, "I have no clue what you're talking about Levi." "Something's up and I can just tell. Mike's acting weird, Elizabeth's sick after eating half the time and now you. Something's up." "I made a promise not to tell Levi," Hanji let out a whine. Levi rolled his eyes and pulled Hanji into an empty office. "Talk, shitty glasses. I have a right to know what's going on with my friends." "I promised Elizabeth. I gave her my word..." Levi rolled his eyes at her, "Let me guess, she's pregnant and it's Mike's. She's avoiding Mike because she's scared and Mike is upset because she's sick more often than not right now. I can also assume that she's either just found out or just told you, so you're taking it into your own hands to get her out of this. Am I right so far?" "Jesus Levi, you're a wizard!" Hanji covered her mouth, "I mean, you're so far from the truth that it hurts!" Levi rolled his eyes at her. "So she's pregnant. Huh? Thought they'd be more careful than that." Levi shook his head, "so she's not telling him?" "No she's not. She's really adamant about going tomorrow. I've tried talking her out of it but she just won't listen, Levi. I'm scared for her and their child." "Hanji, Mike needs to know. He needs to know before dawn tomorrow. He's the only one to talk her out of this nonsense." "She doesn't want anyone else to know though." "So we pull him aside when nobody else is around. Simple." "Not that simple Levi. Nanaba has been hanging around him non-stop and he's training with his squad more often than not. Pulling him aside is gonna be harder than you think." "We'll get it figured out. In the meantime, let's go get her to actually eat something. I don't think I've seen her eat for a day or so." Hanji nodded.

Both Levi and Hanji sit next to Elizabeth and she gives a look, Levi never sits with them. Levi lifts his teacup to his mouth and takes a sip. He lowers the cup, "You should really eat something. Keep up your strength." Elizabeth gave a confused look to Hanji and noticed all the staring they were getting, especially from squad Mike's table. Mike hadn't been there today. Elizabeth looked away from Mike and kept her gaze to the food in front of her. Levi stared at her, Hanji felt uncomfortable with the current situation. Elizabeth continued to sit there and not touch her food. She looked to Levi, "so. What brings you over here today?" Levi continued to look at Elizabeth. "I'm making sure you eat. Now don't waste time. You look famished and we have a big day tomorrow. Eat." Elizabeth flushed red and took baby bites and swallowed. She got halfway through before she felt nauseous, she immediately stood up and beelined for the closest exit to the outside. Everybody stared. Levi stood up and loudly announced, "Back to what you were doing. This is of no concern for you." And left with Hanji.

They finally found Elizabeth hunched over some bushes emptying what was left of her already empty stomach. Hanji rubbed her shoulders, "Liza, please don't go tomorrow. You're not in good shape." "Hanji, I'll be fine." Levi spoke up, "Elizabeth, you're pregnant. You're not fine." Elizabeth snapped her head at Hanji, "you promised not to tell," she let out a small sob. Levi straightened up, "Technically Hanji said nothing. I figured it out myself," he let out a small sigh, "Hanji, she's gonna do whatever she wants regardless of what's best for her. Let her do what she wants and call it a day." Hanji let her jaw drop, Elizabeth did a double take. Hanji broke the silence first, "It's not right Levi!" Elizabeth stood up, "thank you Levi. I'm gonna go finish my paperwork. My squad meets in an hour and I can't be late," and she leaves. Levi waited until he heard the door shut before speaking again, "Reverse psychology shitty glasses. She thinks we're giving her the choice. She'll choose right. Either way it's not our choice. No matter what she chooses, it's what she thinks is best for her." Hanji agreed.

Elizabeth walked back into the castle and past some cadets from the 104th. A brunette girl and a clean shaven boy asked her if everythings alright and she nodded "Everything is fine guys. No worries okay? Just my nerves. Everybody has them." And with that they split. She walked into her office and sat down at her desk. She stared at her paperwork for what felt like hours, 'nothings getting done today huh?' Her eye caught the envelope again and she picked it up. She decided she was going to tell Mike. She struggled through her paperwork before it began to get dark. She hadn't eaten all day and she realized Mike hadn't come to check on her, 'I really fucked up haven't I?' She grabbed the envelope and exited the office. Elizabeth knew exactly where she was going as she had traveled this path hundreds of times. She saw the door she needed and stood there for a moment, the knob turned and out came Nanaba. Both women stared at each other. Nanaba rolled her eyes as she started walking the other way, Elizabeth now felt a small bit of jealousy hit. She never felt jealous.

Elizabeth let out a small breath she had been holding and knocked twice on the door. A moment passed before she did it again. Finally Mike's voice rung out, "who is it?" Elizabeth shivered, it's been about two weeks since she heard his voice last. "It's me Mike." A moment of silence passed and she heard his chair scrape across the floor and footsteps approach the door. The doorknob turned slowly and the door finally opened. "Now's not the time Elizabeth." "We need to talk. Please?" She pleaded with him. "I have no time for these games. You were the one who avoided me all this time. We're going to be busy tomorrow. I have enough on my plate right now." "Mike please-" and the door gets locked and shut. Elizabeth let a few tears out. She leant onto the wall and eventually sat on the floor. She silently cried to herself eventually falling asleep.

Levi and Hanji had found her in the same position she was originally in. They woke her up and walked her to her bedroom. She began to cry again. "I tried telling him. He wouldn't talk to me. I fucked up. I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up. I shouldn't have shut him out. I'm so scared and it's too late to back out now," she pointed to the clock that read 3 am, "I don't know what to do anymore." Hanji got her boots off after Levi sat her in her bed. Levi threw a blanket on her, "It's not your fault. You were scared. Shit like that happens, especially here in the survey corps. You did what you thought was right and there's no going back. You will do great things tomorrow Liza. You will do great things and after this is all said and done, you will talk to him and figure out the rest of your lives okay? I'm not one for pep talks but this isn't one. This is me telling you the truth of the matter. You will get through this. Get some sleep okay?" Elizabeth nodded and Hanji and Levi closed the door behind them. 'I can do this.'

#mike zacharias #mike zacharius #mike zacharius x oc #erwin smith #hanji zoe #levi ackerman #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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anhed-nia · 4 years

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BLOGTOBER 10/8/2020: PELICAN BLOOD (2019)

If you are reading this and the present date is between October 8 and 11 of 2020, please consider buying a virtual ticket to see Katrin Gebbe’s PELICAN BLOOD, available on demand through the Nightstream festival:

https://watch.eventive.org/nightstream/play/5f6e7e78d6a9bf0036613fa3

I am about to discuss this movie and its conclusion in great detail, but it would be much better for a person to come to it in innocence--not because it’s so reliant on anything as gauche as surprise, but because it is so thoroughly excellent that wading through a movie review first would be like letting your dinner grow cold. And, it simply deserves our support.

When I saw PELICAN BLOOD last year at Fantastic Fest, it became one of my favorite movies before it was even over. I might admit that this was sort of a match made in heaven, as this movie checks almost every one of my personal boxes, but I don’t think my assessment of its value is a simple matter of personal prejudice. I’ve been haunted by it all these months, and deeply worried that somehow I might never see it again. When I discovered that it had landed on Nightstream, I was over the moon.

This is writer-director Katrin Gebbe's second feature, a fact that will astonish you when you see it. Last Blogtober, I wrote about her first feature TORE TANZT, which has the troubling english title NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN. That intense indie drama concerns a born-again christian punk who wishes for an opportunity to prove his devotion to god, and finds it in the form of a family that invites him in off the streets, and then proceeds to torture him. That's an oversimplification of what actually occurs, but it is a film that's hard to be brief about. It's cheap and a little rough around the edges, but it is deliberate, intense, and difficult to forget. (In fact it's supposed to be based on a true story, although I haven't managed to pick up that trail) When I first saw it, it certainly made me wonder what else that director might be up to, and I was astounded when I found out. 2019's PELICAN BLOOD emerged six years after TORE TANZT, with little in between besides a television episode and a segment in the anthology THE FIELD GUIDE TO EVIL, and yet Gebbe's artistic evolution is dumbfounding. Her themes are all unmistakably present--faith versus doubt, mystical versus metaphorical experience, and physical martyrdom--but exploded into a grand, elegant psychodrama that holds the viewer captive every minute of its two hours.

Celebrated german actress Nina Hoss plays Wiebke, a stable owner who trains police horses to tolerate the frightening conditions of a riot. She lives at the edge of her pasture, raising her tween daughter Nicolina (Adelia-Constance Giovanni Ocleppo) on her own. Wiebke has a talent for healing the wounded, or perhaps it's more of a calling; she raised Nicolina, a bulgarian orphan, into a bright, balanced, emotionally available tomboy, and the two of them joyfully anticipate the arrival of Nicolina's new adoptive sister. When little Raya arrives (Katerina Lipovska), she first presents as sweet, even solicitous, needing only a mother's love to fully bloom. However, as soon as she determines that she is welcome and wanted, she undergoes a disturbing transformation into a violent and unpredictable creature, possessed by an abject hatred. Wiebke recognizes that her new child is seriously traumatized, which activates her sense of purpose, and she pledges herself fully to the child's recovery--despite the admonishments of Raya's daycare, her doctors, and virtually everyone around them, that the little girl is beyond all but clinical help, and even that promises no guarantee of salvation. Refusing to give up, Wiebke makes a series of increasingly dangerous personal sacrifices in Raya's name, until finally she finds herself at the doorway to what some consider another world, but what is to others only madness.

Gebbe won Best Director in the main competition at Fantastic Fest, and it would have been a crime if this were otherwise. Her control over what are essentially forces of nature is humbling. Extracting a profoundly moving drama from a cast of adult actors is challenging enough on its own, but to get these terrifyingly convincing performances from children, evoking deep trauma and physical violence to self and others, is another level. As if this weren't enough, Gebbe adds animals into the mix, giving the story of Raya a parallel in the troubled career of a police horse who is considered a lost cause by all but Wiebke. The training scenes in which Wiebke guides the volatile animal through fire and smoke, while her own lifeforce is being progressively depleted by her new child, are as harrowing as anything having to do with parenthood, and Wiebke seems to take the horse just as seriously as her child. Friendly single dad Benedikt (Murathan Muslu) tries to flirt with the trainer by remarking on her unusual career, but she spits bitterly, "The horses are not the problem," giving us a glimpse of the philosophy that drives her.

Another of my favorite german films is Werner Herzog's 1976 short NO ONE WILL PLAY WITH ME. This funny and poignant story involves a bullied and neglected little boy, and it is preceded by a card displaying the adage "There are no bad children, only bad parents." This is the principle that drives Wiebke in work and life: Those who are seen as failures, have been failed by others. One has the sense that Wiebke sees herself in these wretches. She has no partner, and balks at questions about her relationship history, shying from physical affection even with people she knows and likes. A tell-tale scar graces one cheekbone; when she finally begins to welcome the benign Benedikt's advances, he strokes it instead of kissing her, acknowledging that he can see who she really is.

Wiebke tries to extend this same empathy toward Raya, refusing to let the child bait her into wrath and rejection. However, this show of pure faith and tolerance does not work, and the right approach becomes less clear as Raya begins to blame her mounting acts of vandalism, arson and assault on an evil entity that controls her will. A psychiatrist aprises Wiebke that this is the "magic period", in which the child uses magical thinking to divert feelings of guilt and responsibility. But, after a fashion, Wiebke begins to sense this malevolent presence as well. Is this etheric intrusion real? Or is she beginning to empathize with the child--with the experience of grappling with a damaged part of yourself--to the point of dissolving boundaries?

The title of the movie refers to a fable about a pelican whose chicks die, and she resurrects them by feeding them her own blood. This is a clear metaphor for Wiebke's trial with Raya, that becomes shockingly literal when, after endangering her home and relationships by prioritizing the new child, Wiebke places her own health on the line by taking an unregulated drug to give herself a bizarre advantage. When Wiebke discovers the shocking nature of Raya's original trauma, she experiments with the radical idea of treating the girl like a little baby, hoping to start from square one with her capacity to be mothered, and in the service of this dreadful proposition, Wiebke starts taking a lactation-inducing pill that proves to be an immediate risk to her health, and puts her in an even more perilous position with Raya.

Although it focuses on a preternaturally devoted mother, PELICAN BLOOD recalls what makes movies like HEREDITARY and WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN so potent. We have the idea that in becoming parents, we are perpetuating our own essence, extending our history and celebrating the precious connection of blood, which is supposed to impart an automatic same-ness. Unfortunately, this only shakes out to arrogance for many, denying the quirks of psychology, chemistry, and the unique impact of trauma--even if minor, or explainable as something benign--on a mind too young to fully comprehend the nature of the experience. Even without abuse in the home, anyone can have a child less like themselves than they could have ever imagined, for reasons beyond their own control. In all this, the child is innocent, and it is the duty of the parent to prioritize the child's feelings, over the vanity of wanting an heir to your own best qualities. Wiebke sacrifices not only her vanity, but potentially her very life, to show Raya love. When this blood sacrifice does not work, Wiebke finds herself facing the realm of alternative belief as a last resort.

The introduction of PELICAN BLOOD's folk horror element can seem a little left field, if you haven't noted the clues scattered throughout the film. Before the revelation of Raya's boogeyman, Wiebke begins to discover evidence of an old pagan tradition still being practiced around her proverbial neck of the woods. Soon, she tentatively entrusts herself and her child to a local witch, who puts them through a harrowing exorcism. Though the process is uncertain at first, its impact forces Wiebke into a direct acknowledgment of the entity harassing her daughter. And ultimately, it awakens in Raya a capacity for love.

While the reality of the supernatural in PELICAN BLOOD remains in question, I think the effect of this ambiguity is specifically meaningful. I usually scoff at any type of "was it all a dream?" nonsense, as this is a tactic employed by directors who think their greatest accomplishment should be getting one over on the audience. I don't see any inherent value in simply reversing the apparent meaning of things, just to make people feel stupid--and worse, this has trained modern audiences to try to defensively predict the least likely ending to any story, instead of just engaging with it emotionally as it plays out. For this reality-bending trick to be worth anything, one must be able to answer questions like, IF this was all a dream, THEN what meaning is added to the story?

In PELICAN BLOOD, the unresolved question of whether magic is real is of great relevance to the whole concept of belief. Human beings crave extranormal experience; we're deeply attracted to tales of ghosts, UFOs, mythical creatures, and parapsychological abilities. Even the skeptics among us enjoy arguing about these things, and many regular folks without eccentric interests read their horoscope "just for fun". Most telling of all is the enduring popularity of stories about the strange and unusual, which require no particular belief system from the audience; the fantasy of this extra dimension to our mundane lives is just so satisfying. Despite all the pleasure we get from these ideas, though, we tend to cling first and foremost to objective truth; we tell ourselves that if there is no "proof", then an outrageous thing cannot exist. But, this is actually contrary to many of our lived experiences. On the basest level, we delight at videos of insane parkour stunts, at the same time that we say these guys are "like" superheroes, but are actually just guys. My question is, what's the difference? If a person can achieve physical feats that most of us can never imagine attempting, then what difference does it make that this person was not bitten by a radioactive spider? If a fortune teller in a carnival is so good at "cold reading" strangers that she gives the effect of being able to read minds, then what is the appreciable difference between a carny and a "real psychic"? If a faith healer "just convinces" someone to become free from a chronic ailment, and the patient goes on to live a happier life, who cares if no "real magic" was in evidence? What is the difference between exorcism and hypnosis, if the end result is the same for a seriously disturbed child and her mother? The only difference appears to be some material confirmation of specific mystical forces and substances--which, admittedly, would be exciting on its own--but this would still only be an alternative version of the events that led up to the same "miraculous" result. We only worry about the existence of God and magic because our definitions of these things tend to be limited to what we think of as literal and scientific. But, if the correct effects manifest themselves, then all that is purely cosmetic. Belief is real. Faith works.

#blogtober #2020 #pelican blood #pelican blood 2020 #katrin gebbe #nina hoss #Adelia-Constance Giovanni Ocleppo #Murathan Muslu #Katerina Lipovska #drama #folk horror #witch #witchcraft #exorcism #possession

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