burns night is actually so fucking funny when you think about its traditions and ceremonies objectively. yeah we've hired a bagpiper specifically to play music as a cooked bag of oats and offal is walked into the room. a man in a kilt must read it poems and toast to it with whisky before anybody is allowed to eat. the poems also have specific knife choreography btw and if you fuck it up you've ruined the whole night. after dinner we must sing our mandatory songs in scots and do boys vs girls speeches like we're all back in school. and speaking of school, remember the very specific style of country dance you were forced to learn since you were 5 so you can dance a jig or a reel by muscle memory alone? guess what you're doing next. some of you may be lost in the virginia reel but that's the way oor rabbie would have wanted it on his birthday.