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#it's just like the only thing I can objectively value about myself
earthtooz · 9 months
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x : SLEEPY FAVOUR :*+゚
in which: you've unwillingly become jing yuan's cuddle buddy for his afternoon naps.
warnings: fluff, 700 wc, bad writing lul, established relationship, dialogue-heavy, gn!reader teases a clingy!jing yuan.
a/n: two fics in two days. wow. who am i. enjoy. (i posted an itoshi rin fic yesterday pls feel free to check it out!)
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“you cannot keep doing this, jing yuan.”
sitting up to look at the man, your complaint is hushed quickly by the general, who places a hand on your shoulder and pulls you back down into his arms. he wraps himself around you like a vine and you groan at the suffocating sensation. still, jing yuan does not let up, not giving in to your complaints and grumbles as he draws circles on your arm.
“when you messaged me earlier about paying you a visit, i did not anticipate for it to be because you were simply feeling lonely. and clingy,” you sigh and the white-haired laughs.
“then what else?”
“something of value? something that will contribute to the wellness of the luofu?”
“is this not of value?” 
“calling me as your cuddle buddy for your afternoon nap is hardly of value.”
“i object. in fact, i would beg to differ. is the wellbeing of the luofu’s general something to take lightly?”
you huff, turning around in his arms to face him. jing yuan looks at you through half-lidded eyes, fatigue evident in them as he smiles softly. instinctively, your hand reaches to tuck a strand of hair behind of ears and at the graze of your touch, he shuts his eyes, seemingly peaceful and content. 
“flaunting your title, are you?” you ask. “what happened to your humility?”
he’s quick to reply. “gone if it will prevent you from leaving.” 
a smooth talker. your lover, jing yuan, has always had a way with words, laced with carelessness yet drenched in honey, there’s little of him you can resist. even now, you feel your frustration subsiding with one simple comment.
“and why should the general have a few hours of the day just to slack off?” you ask. “your afternoon naps can wait, luofu’s safety shouldn’t.”
“you say that, yet how many centuries of peace have we lived through?”
“why is everything i’m saying only inflating your ego?” then, just to spite him, you pull your hand away and his eyes open at the lack of contact that grounds him to a realm of peace and comfort. immediately missing your warmth, jing yuan finds your wrist and moves it to rest on his face once more. 
you don’t give him the satisfaction, hoping to give him a piece of your mind by once again, retracting your hand out of his hold and his sleepy gaze darkens into something akin to displeasure.
“won’t you indulge in me?” questions the cloud-knight. “i have worked so hard today already, i have been looking forward to taking an afternoon nap.”
“and is that not possible without me?”
he shakes his head with the temperament of a child and a pout to match. what will the court think when they see this side of your feared and revered lover? “ever since you rest with me that day, no, and i will never go back.”
where did his perseverance go?
“you suggest these things as if i am not busy myself. i cannot listen to your every request and demand when i have mountains of work to complete too!”
“i have requested that they be pushed back until later. your schedule has been cleared out for the next few hours.”
“jing yuan!” you exclaim, pushing him away lightly. “you cannot do that!”
“i can, and i have.”
before you can even utter another word, jing yuan has rolled over to lie on top of you, placing half of his weight on you to act as an anchor, effectively preventing you from moving anywhere.
the press of his muscles against you and the tightening of his arms around your torso are like cannonballs against your determination, and considering that he discarded his armour the moment you stepped through the door, it’s only fair if you do the same.
“come on, my love, do you not care for your general?” he asks, borderlining a whine. 
“fine.” you surrender, finally wrapping your arms around him as well. “only because i want him to be at top performance.”
“what about your lover? don’t you wish for any benefits for him too?” 
“he is of lesser importance,” you tease. “in fact, he should suffer for what he puts me through.”
jing yuan chuckles and his laugh reverberates into your heart. “i would hate to be him, then."
"watch yourself, jing yuan."
"of course, anything for you," murmurs the white-haired before he finds purchase in the bend of your neck. surrounded by you, he wordlessly dozes off without a care in the world.
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© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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dailyadventureprompts · 3 months
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Homebrew Mechanic: Fixing D&D’s Gameplay Loop with Item Degradation
Normally I have snappy titles for these, but in this case I wanted to be super upfront with what I was getting you all into. 
Some people are not going to like the idea of introducing item degradation into the game, and they’re ABSOLUTELY right to be hesitant. Just about every attempt I’ve seen (includig both RAW versions from previous editions, examples from videogames, and those I’ve put together myself in the past) have been horribly clunky exercises in beancounting that only ever existed to needlessly slow down gameplay for the sake of joyless realism. 
I’ve come at it from another angle however, but to explain we’re going to need to get into some game design talk. 
The basic gameplay loop of D&D is supposed to be: 
Seeking adventure leads you to face challenges
Overcoming challenges leads you to rewards
Rewards Help you get stronger 
Getting stronger allows you to seek tougher adventures
After a while this system starts to break down specifically with regards to gold as a method of reward. Even if you’re the smart sort of DM who flouts the rules and gives their party access to a magic item shop, there’s an increasingly limited number of things to spend gold on, leading to parties acquiring sizable hordes of riches early on in their adventuring career, completely eliminating the desire to accept quests that pay out in gold in one form or another. This is a pretty significant flaw because adventures that centre around acquisition of riches ( treasure hunts, bounty missions, busywork for rich patrons that will inevitably betray you) are foundational to storytelling within the game, especially early on in a campaign before the party has gotten emotionally invested.  Most advice you can find online attempting  to solve this problem tends to dissolve down to “let them pour money into a home base”,  but that can only really happen once per campaign as a party is unlikely to want more than one secret clubhouse. 
TLDR:  What I propose is the implantation of a lightweight system that forces the party to periodically drop small amounts of wealth into maintaining their weapons/armour/foci. The players will be motivated to seek out gold in order to keep using their best stuff,  giving value to treasure drops that previously lacked it.  Not only does this system act as an insulation against powercreep at higher levels, it also encourages a party to engage with the world as they seek out workshops and crafters capable of repairing their gear. 
The System: 
Weapons, armour, shields, and caster foci (staves, holy symbols etc) can accumulate “ticks” of damage, represented by a dot or X drawn next to their item entry on the character sheet. Because you get better at handling your gear as you level up, an item that exceeds a total number of ticks equal to its bearer’s proficiency bonus breaks, and is considered unusable until it is repaired. 
Weapons and Foci gain a tick of damage when you roll a natural 1 on an attack made with them, or if they are specifically targeted by an enemy’s attack.
Armour and shields gain a tick of damage when you roll a nat 1 on a saving throw or when an enemy beats your ac by 5 or more. A character equipped with both can decide which of the two items receives the tick
Creatures with the “siege” (or any “does double damage to objects” ability) deal an extra tick when attacking gear. 
A character with a crafting proficiency  and access to tools can repair a number of ticks of damage equal to their proficiency on a four hour work period. This rate is doubled if they have access to a properly equipped workshop.  A character with access to the mending cantrip can repair ticks on any kind of item, but is limited to their proficiency bonus per work period.  
Having an item repaired by an NPC crafter removes all ticks, but costs vary depending on the rarity of the item:    5g for a mundane item, 10g for a common item, 50g for uncommon, 250 for a rare, 1250 for a very rare, 6250 for a legendary.  The DM decides the limit on what each crafter can repair, as it’s likely small towns have access to artisans of only common or uncommon skill, requiring the party to venture to new lands or even across planes if they wish to repair end game gear.
As you can see, degradation in this system is easy to keep track of and quite gradual, leading players into a position where they can ignore obvious damage to their kit for the sake of saving their now precious gold.  It likewise encourages them to seek out NPC crafters (and potential questhooks) for skills they do not possess, and encourages the use of secondary weapons either as backups or to save the more potent items in the arsenal for a real challenge. 
Consumables
Everyone knows the old joke about players hoarding consumables from the first adventure past the final bossfight, it transcends genre and platform, and speaks to a nature of loss aversion within our shared humanity.  However, giving players items they’re never going to use amounts to wasted time, resources, and potential when looking at things from a game design perspective, so lets work on fixing that. 
My inspiration came from witcher 3, which encourages players to make frequent use of consumables by refreshing them whenever the character had downtime. The darksouls series has a similar feature with the signature estus flask, which provides a limited number of heals before it must be refreshed at one of the game’s checkpoints.  When the designers removed the risk of permanent loss and the anxiety it creatures, players were able to think tactically about the use of their consumables confident in the knowledge that any mistakes were just a resupply away from being fixed.  
My proposal is that while the party is in town they can refill the majority of their consumable items for a small per item fee. Just like with gear degradation, this encourages them to seek out crafters and do quests for the hope of discounts, while at the same time encouraging them to explore new realms in the hope of discovering higher level artisans. 
The price for refills is set at: 5g for common, 25g for an uncommon, 125g for a rare, 625g for a very rare, 3125g for  legendary.  I encourage my own players to keep a  “shopping list” in their inventory with prices tabulated so they can hand out a lump sum of gold and have their kit entirely refreshed. 
Characters with a relevant skill and access to their tools can refill a number of items equal to their proficiency bonus during a four hour work period. With access to a proper workshop, this rate doubles.   ( At last, proficiency with brewers supplies, carpenters tools etc become useful) 
I encourage you as a DM to check out this potion flasks system, which I’ve found adds a delicious factor of uncertainty back into the mix.  Attached is also my super lightweight rules for tracking gear and supplies, which I absolutely refuse to shut up about.
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barblaz-arts · 1 month
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HELLOOO!! Im in LOVE with all your Chaggie (and Wenclair obv-) art!! I was wondering if youd be up to share your thoughts on the other hazbin characters? Simply cuz Im very curious and youve been a favourite content creator of mine for a while whose opinions and takes on different things i value A LOT! So id love to hear your thoughts on the rest of the main cast(and more if youre up to it hahha)!
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@phantoswordsman15
The main cast huh
Hmmmmm I dont particularly hate them, but I have some opinions that people might not like and I'm aware there's a lot of uh sensitive people in this fandom, so I never said them unprompted
But since you asked!
Alastor
Let's start with the infamous Alastor. I think he's a very entertaining character! His horde of simps annoy tf outta me when they're being misogynistic and homophobic towards Chaggie and Vaggie, but I quite liked him when I make myself forget certain parts of the fandom. He's funny and conniving and intriguing. The fact that he apparently sold his soul is super interesting to me. I'm on board with the people theorizing that he sold his soul to Lilith. I bet he's cozying up with Charlie so that he can use it to break his contract somehow. Feel like he also used the deal with (presumably) Lilith so that he could be strong enough to be the overlord he became.
With that being said, I'm really surprised with the direction they took with him. You'd think that with him being a favorite of the showrunner and the fandom, he would probably be portrayed as the coolest mf in hell. But I really like that it isn't really the case within the show. Certain denizens dont even know him and older overlords like Zestial seems to scare him and Carmilla just dgaf about him. Hell, Alastor's loss to Adam was a lil embarrassing ngl. Like. I know he's one of the oldest human souls and that's why he's powerful but... It's Adam.
Something about him that I noticed is that he seems to be more bark than bite. In particular in his duet with Lucifer, initially Lucifer had the upper hand because he's objectively more powerful, humiliating Alastor with his angel magic, but what Alastor used to his advantage was his words and charisma, as can be expected of a radio host. He's always taunting his enemies, but does it actually make him stronger than them? He "won" that duet with Vox but Valentino said Alastor only"almost beat" him when they had an actual fight. He ruffled Lucifer's feathers but at the end of the day Lucifer is still leagues more powerful than him. He talked big when he was fighting Adam but he almost died and had a breakdown over it.
He's really a lot less "cool" than I expected the show would have him be portrayed as. Kinda pathetic honestly, how he's so insecure and angry whenever he isn't the strongest guy in the room. And i actually really like that! He reminds me a lot of Rumplestilstkin from Once Upon a Time.
Something I kinda hesitate to say tho is... I dont want him redeemed. I dont want him to actually care about the hotel crew and change his ways. I like him as the fucked up man he is and really want to see how fucked up he can be, just so that if he ends up being the huge antagonist, his downfall would be all the more satisfying. Like yunno that moment when Light/Kira was finally defeated? I wanna feel that again.
Angel Dust
I love him! We found his dialogue a lil annoying at first in ep 1 but the writers did a lot better in ep 2. He's a neat guy. His character gives interesting implications for me as to what makes a person a sinner in this show. While you have people like Alastor who obviously ended up where they did because a cannibal murderer, I get the feeling Angel ended up in hell because he was abusing his own body, which is a sad thing to think. If I remember right from my own catholic upbringing, abusing the body is considered a sin because your body is a temple. To think that Angel could be in hell for poisoning himself, not for harming others, is just sad man. I look forward to seeing more of his journey.
I'm not touching on how his SA was tackled btw. While I'm a victim of sexual assault myself, what i experienced was far from what Angel does on a REGULAR basis,so I don't feel like i have any personal or professional right to say anything about it. Not every victim's case is universal anyways. All I can say is, his line about purposefully damaging himself so he could be broken enough to no longer be Valentino's "favorite toy" hit me harder than I ever expected this show to.
Husk
Confession: I... I dont feel all that attached to Husk at all, I am so sorry Husk stans 😭
Okok that feels so mean to say I'm so sorry. I actually hesitated to say anything because I dont want to hurt people's feelings. But since you guys are asking and I dont like not being genuine, I'm telling the truth.
A lot of my feelings about Husk is heavily affected by the fandom anyways to be perfectly fair. Why? Because a lot of criticisms against Vaggie is easily applicable to Husk, maybe even more so, and yet I dont see even the same level of hate towards him that Vaggie received because his chemistry with Angel is so much better than Chaggie... Apparently...
I just dont see Husk as a character outside of being a plot device for Angel's development yunno? I get it, he isn't a main character like the main 4 are(Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, and Angel), i just find it hard to well and truly like him because of the fandom's double standards. When we found out someone was gonna die in the finale, my brother and I actually thought it was gonna be him because he doesn't have a big enough role to play in the plot to be a HUGE loss, but has a significant enough connection to a main character to have an EFFECT. He very much just felt like the love interest for Angel and nothing else. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but is frustrating when i see sooo many people label Vaggie as such(when she isnt!) and hate her SO MUCH for it.
I wanna see more of him tho I really do. Like the man used to be an overlord. He said he wanted to find someone who could relate to "the gruesome ways in which he's damaged" but what does that even mean? Yes i know about the castration but aside from that what suffering is Alastor putting him thru when all he has to do is be a bartender rn? There must be more and I wanna see it and finally feel for him.
Nifty
I love her a lot. That's it. The character ever. Her gremlin energy reminded me so much of Peridot, it's great. Kimiko Glenn did a fantastic job as the comic relief character and I hope she gets her own song next season. Her basically being everyone's little sister was kinda adorable even tho she's probably the scariest person in that hotel next to Alastor. I hope she gets to stab Valentino next. Just kill that MOTHerfucker
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fumifooms · 2 months
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Laios Touden and autism; admiring the non-human
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Do you think people exaggerate when they scream about Laios being autistic? Do you feel like it’s weird that so many people including autistics are so set on Laios, the problematic (but incredible and kind) king TM, being the most autistic that has ever autisticed? Why do we cheer on autistic people wanting to be monsters?? Isn’t that weird?
Well, of course it depends on the way it’s done, it can be done quite offensively, but long story short Kui blew it out of the park. The thing is, autistic people really do like monsters and animals and robots. Nonhuman does not mean subhuman, it just means Other. Feeling a connection with them has been shown to be an extremely common autistic experience for that very reason.
Because some people don’t understand why we autistic Tumblr Laios stans cheer “autism! Autism!” whenever he talks about monsters and feeling alienated to humans so! Here’s a post about how yes even research papers are analyzing the special connection we form with animals. I’m not even joking but Laios Touden & the mass cries of relatability with autistic people he gets and all the love for him could be used as study material and evidence for future papers because the link is that strong. Oh also I think it’s notable that being autistic and undiagnosed vs diagnosed makes a huge difference. In my experience as someone who was undiagnosed up until 18, it’s even more alienating to not know that there’s a reason why you’re different, being gaslit that you’re ‘normal’ and you just need to try harder and get with the program, etc. Personally when getting diagnosed I went through the 5 stages of grief because the thought of having been fundamentally different all your life (a difference which you will never be able to change) and mistreated for it when you weren’t “wrong” all along makes you unload all the anger and sadness and loneliness and sheer trauma you’ve built up over time. Like it’s world shattering.
So! Back to seeing dogs as family. Also I implore you to value experiential evidence when it comes to autism and other neurodivergences because brains are complicated and neurotypicals not being able to understand us well even with scientific research is like, a whole thing even though we’re right there speaking about how we feel and being right every time because the topic is literally us and how we experience the world. 
Disclaimer for this whole post that, of course, no group is a monolith and everyone has different experiences or can diverge from the norm of the group, and that doesn’t diminish the validity of either side! Like, I know autistic people who have trauma with dogs and hate them. But, trends do happen, and in this case... Autism is very “My experiences with humans make me feel dehumanized in a bad and lonely way so instead I’ll dehumanize myself in a good and inspiring way”.
“I was treated like a failed human my entire life and you’re surprised that my response was to become a dog.” -Patricia Taxxon
It’s literally well recorded that autistic people relate to animals more than humans globally. With this post, besides spreading autistic Laios truthism and explaining why the portrayal hits so deep for so many,  I want to show in what way this is a very specific experience and not looking at his character through an autistic lense really misses a lot of why he’s everything that he is. (Tacking allegedly onto here for legal reasons, different interpretations are valid etc etc /gen). This honestly isn’t super long though.
To define an important term, anthropomorphism in the studies and in this post means to attribute human traits to the nonhuman, which not only includes anthro furry designs but also animals irl, inanimate objects, and animated media as opposed to live action, to humanize them and empathize with them.
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Paper: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0027 
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“Dogs taught me how to hunt and socialize and work in groups”, Laios having internalized body language... So real so real. I, too, make a great dog impression. And I want to emphase the part that it helps greatly develop a sense of emotions and relationships! For Laios, he didn’t get along with kids his age, it was him, Falin and the dogs against the world. Since it’s a group of dogs too, it taught him group dynamics and social hierarchies (like with Falin being considered as being below the dogs in authority according to the dogs rip), and the importance of group coordination when hunting.
For me, I cannot like, concisely explain just how much animals were important to me developmentally. I also grew up with dogs, but like I vividly remember encounters with like hamsters as well just radically shaping my understanding of boundaries, the importance of giving something space and the way you interact with them and respect their side of it. Unlike humans they don’t really mask how they feel, it’s direct cause-effect reaction and data gathering. There are no words involved, so the focus on having a perfect phrasing and tone is gone, leaving just pure interactions. 
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There’s also no reason to mask how you feel either, and you don’t have to feel silly over wanting to form a connection and it showing, what, is the dog gonna laugh at you because you obviously want to make friends with it? Toshiro or Kabru might, but dogs and cats will just tell you to fuck off and leave it there worst case scenario. I often say that I think one reason Marcille is special to Laios and he feels comfortable around her is because she emotes INTENSELY, she gestures, she puts her whole body into it, her facial expressions are pretty exaggerated and her ears even emote too- like with a dog’s ears!
I think there’s def also things to be said about how he gravitated towards Izutsumi at first, all excited, was eager to sleep in the same bed as her, but in the Izutsumi sleep rating chart we see they really just casual and chill so it’s not a Laios talking to Shuro deep into the night situation just a “I like sleeping besides animals” situation and that is enough to hype him up. I love how he pet her in the extra about why Chil let her sleep with him too. He’s just so transparently eager to befriend her, even if in the end they weren’t all that compatible and he accepted that.
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There are honestly so many examples I could give for this. Like Grandin the famous cow lady.
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More about autism & empathy:
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https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/double-empathy-explained/ (Also mentions a study in which groups of autistic, allistic then a mixed group played a game of telephone and both singular groups had similar levels of information retention, but the mixed group was significantly worse. As an autistic person yeah duh, obviously autistic people are different from one another and can have plenty of interpersonal issues, but communicating with other neurodivergent people feels pretty intuitive and straightforward and comfortable. One of the reasons why neurodivergent people tend to naturally gravitate towards each other I suppose.) 
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^ Paper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5932358/  For good, extensive summary of why we relate to animals so much you can go to the “anthromorphizing and asd” section of the paper. This paper extends to our widespread liking of cartoons and robots as well. Ok so this is a whole thing I won’t get into here but this is a big reason why a lot of autistic people are agender leaning as well. Genders and queerness in general is a lot about social constructs, and being queer is being marginal to these, not fitting into boxes or challenging those social norms and conventions. Queerplatonic relationships are a great example of this, where the framework of the relationship is platonic but the intangible nature of what it is exactly is the point, not familial not anything but everything at once too, just adoration, I like to say having pets is a bit like it as well, bc obvi it’s not romantic and often not fully familial, very platonic but also sooo much cuddling and adoration and kissing and whatnot that you wouldn’t typically do with a friend or family member. I’ll talk about qpr and labels another day though.
I got carried away but queerness in Dunmeshi is something I 100% want to make a big post on one day. Experiencing the world with different guidelines and not registering things to have the same boxes, sigh. Personally I also relate to Laios on a gender level, “cis by default because I don’t care all that much but if I were to dig deeper I’m probably otherkin and I want to be socially associated with traits of monsters and animalistic rather than man/woman” sighh hard to be a cryptid in this day and age. I wish we had a term like furry but for monsters, I want to be in the fantasy or folk tale genre ty, like changelings. Goshh changelings... You know, the irl myth where people said their neurodivergent kids were fairies’ children instead of human. Diminished physical sense of self means I see myself as some unknowable black  void aesthetic wise, but like in a way that simultaneously makes me feel seen. Like becoming a monster, losing your sense of self but also somehow just being simplified and seen for what you are, it’s weird to try and explain. This post is more about relating to the nonhuman than about seeing yourself as such, but like connect the dots right, that IS an important point of Laios’ character. It’s because our brains literally work different than allistics which makes us feel as other, but also because of social ostracization and functioning in a different way than society at large, living in the margin of society, being weird and non-conforming.
Meanwhile, animals and social norms... Like ok, showing your neck and rolling on the ground to show that you’re friendly and harmless and play biting might not be proper. But have you considered that it’s also fun and feels very intuitive. Play with a dog in the dog’s way I promise it is so nice and freeing. Play tug of war and growl back when they growl. Hiss at your cat to tell them they do something wrong, engage with them on their level.
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Autism made social life hard, but it made animals easy. Do you have anyyy idea how good it feels to mask all day every day and feel constantly misunderstood or like you’re doing a performance but then you can just, drop all of that in the company of animals and they understand you. They understand you. You form an understanding and rapport so easily.
And this whole thing with Laios is so explicit too, with the Winged Lion saying “You’re sick and tired of the human world”. Notice the choice of words. Sick and tired of the human world. Exhausted from the constraints, sick of the mind games. It really isn’t as much about loving monsters as it is about loving the nonhuman. Relating to them because you feel that you can actually understand how they work and think, and feeling like they could understand you back as well. Animals are safe.
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Like I could go on about how Laios admiring even just demi-humans like orcs is because they’re socially seen as non-humans more than any true physical thing, that they’re not bound by human society and its rules and live with their own lifestyle. But it would deal myself 1000 points of psychic damage and I am not ready to cry today. It’s idealization 100%, and like, Laios DOES want to be treated as human, to be valued, but it feels like an unreachable thing meanwhile becoming a monster is instant gratification and freedom and a sense that now no one will be able to hurt you in a way that reaches you, never again shall you be defenseless, and then if people dehumanize you then that only strengthens your sense of identity as a monster and UGHH ugh ugh.
And like. This post is a mess at this point but if you want to kinda delve into the more “why” then I recommend this Patricia Taxxon video essay. It starts out on a very different topic, but it’s all about autism and finding comfort in the inhuman. Long story short is othering made us like this also animals are just simpler to intuitively get along with.
So when I post this
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I mean it. I really mean it when I say he’s me. I have never felt so seen. So many conflicting emotions all wrapped so concisely yet so intangibly woven into the whole storyline so subtly. 
Not being depicted as a monster of an human being for feeling/having felt that way?? The manga understands you. The world can understand you. Other humans can understand you. You can bond with them. You can. And I think that’s a big part of Dungeon Meshi too- Laios opening up to others about how he really is and his interests, and all the bumps on the way but how it was the only way to truly get to know each other and bond. With the climax being Laios confronting head on his complex with monsters and humans, and his monster-loving side and animalistic side being exactly what saves the whole world, what saves humanity. Because Laios does value his friends, does think humanity has beautiful sides to it, he wants to help it thrive and eat and become more accepting, carving out a kingdom for misfits and demi-humans. At the end of it, transforming into a monster and being free is a daydream fantasy, and the reality of it is that Laios does belong in the world as he is, and does receive and give out love.
If you enjoyed this you’ll probably like some of my other Laios analysis!  Here’s an analysis of his succubus and what it says about his relationships with other humans. And here’s an analysis about his relationship with Shuro from his perspective.
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nogenderbee · 2 months
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕊𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 ₊˚ˑ༄
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @miya-akane request: okay I'll request for the last tine-
How about Xiao, Chongyun, Freminet and Albedo (my top 4 in genshin<3) with s/o that kins Akito and/or Ena? Like they tend to comparw themself with others and felt like they're not good enough ? Also they have a bit anger issues perhaps? In conclusion they're somehow like akito. (My akito and ena kinnie ass need to)
That's all! Don't overworked yourself and always remember to stay hydrated bee~
-🌹
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yess! Omg this one was actually great idea! I tried looking at Akito more though I guess they're so similiar it didn't made difference hah And no worries, I'm taking care of myself, but I hope you do as well miya!
Anyway, I know I took my time with this one but I hope you'll like it in the end!
Short boys supermercy forever and ever, I love writing for them sm I swear
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff
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✧ Albedo almost never let's emotions carry him so you could tell he's always the one calming you down when needed
✧ but he does understand that you need to let the negative emotions out, so first thing he does is getting your emotions out on paper
✧ he'll let you all his painting equipment and won't even mind if you damage the canva in the process
✧ as for you comparing yourself to others, he starts noticing you daydreaming and will sometimes make remark for you to not worry about it
✧ he's rather reassuring type so whenever you try comparing yourself out loud, he'll stop whatever he's doing just to hold your hands gently and remind you of all your values
"Don't call yourself like that. You're the most skillful person in this field I know. And believe me when I say I don't just throw words on wind."
✧ and of course, there's also your tsundere behavior which often leaves him chuckling quietly at how you're trying to hide your affection
✧ he's not necessarily the teasing type but he can't stop but naje you clarify what you want just to see that little blush on your face
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot @miya-akane - come get your chalk alchemist!
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✧ as Xiao can be a bit of a tsundere sometimes as well, he doesn't really have problems with anger
✧ he'd sometimes be the type to put his hand on your shoulder and reassure you there's no need to waste your energy on something like that
✧ but sometimes... he'll let you. It all depends of the situation you found yourself in
"They said what to you...? I'll go fight them instead, you shouldn't risk any danger. Especially when I'm around."
✧ something he can't understand tho is you constantly comparing yourself to others. He saw many mortals do it and yet he still doesn't understand why you're comparing yourself to someone with much more experience
✧ he's gonna be rather blunt with it and just tell you it's not logical at all to compare yourself who just started with something to someone who's been devoted to this genre for few years already!
✧ but if your topic ever goes to not being enough of a lover, he'll try to break his tsundere barrier and tell you all the things he loves you for
✧ in the end, he ends up being a blushing mess when you have a bit of breakdown, assuring you that he means every word he says
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot @miya-akane - come get your tsundere adepti~
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✧ Chongyun is on rather calmer side and his bursts are usually one of annoyence rather than pure rage
✧ you were definitely the first person he met with such an anger issues so he had hard time getting used, but once he does, he doesn't mind that much
✧ he will try dragging you aside whenever you get angry at someone and offer for you to take your anger out on him or on any object he doesn't care about instead
"Take it out on me. You can imagine I'm them and just tell me anything you want. I won't get upset, I'll only be happy if it helps."
✧ if you decline tho, he'll try to look for other ways since he doesn't want you to carry these emotions inside but he also doesn't want you taking it out on others
✧ as for your comparing, he won't tolerate that! he'll stop you and tell you all things he likes about you right in the face while holding your shoulders or hands and maintaining eye contact. He want's you to be sure you know he's being honest!
✧ though he might need a popsicle or two after such an interaction...
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot - come get your popsicle boy!
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✧ Freminet is rather quiet so he rarely bursts out, bur something you have in common would certainly be comparing yourselves to others...
✧ you're perfect in his eyes and he's perfect in yours, but that doesn't seem to stop you from putting yourselves down
✧ when he hears you talking badly about yourself, he'll immidietly tell you it's not true and try to tell you some compliments, but he get's shy quickly so it may end in many ways...
✧ he's also trying to help you calm down with your anger! First thing he thinks of that might help would be those anti stressing toys to squeeze!
✧ he'll buy you as many as you'd want, even if you keep breaking them. What matters to him is if they work
✧ if they don't, he'll do his best to find a good excuse and pull you away as he's doing his best to calm you down
"It's fine, it's fine... Breath with me. In... and out... That didn't help? Well uh..."
✧ and finally, there's your tsundere self! Your lovely interactions are certainly rare but they're somehow sweet, since you have to watch out to not say something discouraging to him or he might stop initiating affections...
✧ but don't worry, he'll learn your way of speaking sooner or later and it won't bother him as much anymore!
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot - come get your shy diver~
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owlpellet · 2 months
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i have been having a really difficult time grasping for an identity as an artist lately, to the point that i feel actively repulsed by my own drawings and avoid finishing them. i understand objectively how fallacious and unhealthy it is to place value on your work based on how others perceive it, but when you struggle to connect with other people like i do, art in a way becomes my voice and how i communicate, be it something as simple as 'i enjoyed this media and don't know how to articulate that beyond drawing blorbos', or something more reflective of my innermost thoughts. to give art is my love language, to collaborate ideas is how i dance.
but i can't see what other people see. i can be told over and over by friends how much they love something i have made. i can see that patronizing "two cakes" image a thousand times, and all i can dwell on is the fact that most people only have room for one cake. why does it matter? is it not about the process? the journey? what i have learned? why is it so important that i have an identity, why do i have to impress? who am i even trying to impress? myself? maybe. maybe i just want to be impressed with myself by one thing in my otherwise deeply unimpressive existence, and art feels like the closest thing in reach.
i enjoyed art more before it became about impressing myself. before it became about social currency, and not just how i use it as a way to buy myself attention but how i have somehow managed to devalue that currency in my own mind. when will i be satisfied? why is it so important that i have an identity?
two years ago, i went through a friend breakup from which they easily moved on and i... didn't. a part of me still hasn't. i cried myself to sleep for months. i still cry. my muse left me, and i was left with an ugly void in my chest that festered with feelings of having been used for entertainment and discarded when that interest faded. when words failed me i tried to reach out through art, and that failed me too. in the end i became angrier at myself than anything else, fixated on how i had allowed so much of my identity to draw from one singular source that ultimately did not care.
my style changed. i started producing more abstract images, because i so suddenly felt more abstract myself, but damn me if there is not still a part of me that holds back out of fear that interest will be lost. i can't let it go. i can't create for the sake of it, and it burns me up.
thanks to everyone who has stuck with me and watched me grow. maybe one day you'll get to see what i can actually do. i would like to see it too.
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poemnic-tarot · 9 months
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Intuitive Channeled Messages For You
1-2-3
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4-5-6
(Disclaimer : This is a general reading please only take what resonated. For entertainment purposes only)
These are short messages I channeled without card, just intuitively. Please let me know what you think, I’d love to know!.
( Art designed on Canva )
🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰
Pile 1 🧸
"You begin to get what life is all about. Every incidents, now you realised, was not a coincidence.It was meticulously planned for you to get here. Where you are today. Every road lead you here where you can see it all from an objective point of view. And you get it, you finally got it. You would not be confused no more, you trust the universe unconditionally. You will go where they lead you. There are fears of course and doubts and hesitation, but they would never stop you from vibrating in a high frequency, a vibration of love and compassion.
You used to be scare, all the time. Scare of life, of people in it, of all your choices, was it the right choice?, did i made the wrong one?.Why is everyone against me, why is the world against me?. Now you realised, it was just all karmic, it was designed specifically for you. So you could learn your lesson and move up. Ascend and become who you are today. Wise, at peace and more trusting than ever. Trusting of life, situation and most importantly, yourself and your choices. What you went through got you here today and you will be forever grateful. To the Divine,to yourself and your soul, for leading you home finally.
Poem: Sorrow To Joy by @cant-find-my-name
This big transition came through
A revelation
Firstly, we changed our beliefs
Reevaluate our wants and our needs
What makes us happy?
Who values we are following
Who we are without the things we do
Strip away all the unnecessary
Let go of pointless worries
To truly turn joyful
First, we shifted our energy
In this new me, being joyful
Is very easy
Song : Coming Back For You by Fireboy DML
Well I pray that the universe Gives you way more than you deserve When the tears fall like shooting stars Remember who you are Just look up to the sky you'll see
Well I pray that the universe Gives you way more than you deserve When the tears fall like shooting stars Remember who you are Just look up to the sky you'll see I'm coming back for you
🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰
Pile 2🛍️
“I can still recall what happened vividly. The memories would never leave me. In a way, it shaped who I am. I identified with what I went through. All of it, the good and the not so good. I appreciates all the good times, all the good people. I wish them well and I know they would do the same for me. I am on a new journey. Honestly, I have no idea where I am going, where am I headed to?.It seem not that important to find out, I figure I'll just start step by step into the unknown. I’m willing to, in a way, I was waiting for this moment. Hoping for it in fact.
It seem I had shaded my old skin. Despited remembering everything that happened. I want to changed. I want to rebuild, I want to become something else. It not because I hated my old self or anything, in fact. It's the opposite. I love my old self very much, but I think it’s just time. Time for me to discover a new side of me that’s different. That the world have never seen before. I am excited, nervous but not scare at all. Which I'm thankful for, I want it to be a fun journey, learning about myself, who will I become. I love every versions of me, the old and I'm already sure that I will also love the new. I guess it's my new purpose in life, get to know thyself again and I'm looking forward to meet me.
Poem : Shooting Stars by @cant-find-my-name
My eyes Shined
They reflected the distance light
I’ve never pray so hard in my life
Wishing for a living dream
Wishing to know
What does all the pain mean?
Trying to find the reason
The universe put me here
And I can’t -
Find the reason
Even as stars shimmered
And shoot down
It is me that has been earth bound,
I can’t go back
I can’t go home
The limit is getting too loud
Going aimless
Wandering about
Maybe it is time for me to discover
Reach deep within me to know
How far did I come from?
And how far can I go?
Song: I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik (Treasure Planet)
I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms And what do you think you'd ever say? I won't listen anyway, you don't know me And I'll never be what you want me to be
And what do you think you'd understand? I'm a boy, no, I'm a man You can't take me and throw me away And how can you learn what's never shown? Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me 'cause I'm not here
And I want a moment to be real Wanna touch things I don't feel Wanna hold on and feel I belong
🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰
Pile 3🍑
“It's the people that loved you for who you are that helped you made it. They were a voice telling you not to give up, even when you wanted to. Even when there was no more reasons to go on, you think of the people who loved you. And in a way, their love for you saved you, when your own love wasn’t enough.
But you are still not out of the wood yet, but you're not scare of it no more. You are not scare to be alone anymore. People are your strength and there's experiences of that, but they are also your weakness. The world is more complicated and more than one dimensional and frankly, it's giving you a headache. You just want to live a simple life, a minimalist, no complication, alone in a forest surrounded by nature. You want your wood to turn into a forest. And build a cozy cottage to refuge there when the real world is too much. But most of your life, it's a graveyard of regret and it's full of shadows that you rather ignore. However, no more of that you finally decided. You pray for life to get better, for yourself to get better and in a way, you did not see a way out of it alive.
But in those darkness, you saw light and that light has led you to where the sun shined through. You can see better days," the monsters turned out to be just tree". There are better days, healthier ways to live. And in a way, you want to find that out for yourself. There are alway balance in life, you must remember one thing. When there's darkness, there is also light. When you encounter one the other will also find you. When you experienced one side, don't be scare to face the other. That is how you learn, that you will alway be okay.
Poem: Invisible Force by @cant-find-my-name
Something is choking me
The invisible force
Stronger than what's real
Maybe the scariest thing
Are what we're all thinking
Not necessary the truth
Or what happened
But what could have been,
It's scary to see
What isn't there
The affect is real
But the enemy aren't here
Song: This is me trying by Taylor Swift
I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway
I just wanted you to know That this is me trying I just wanted you to know That this is me trying
🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰
Pile 4🍇
"Peace will find you, no need to seek it. It's there for you to tap into it, anytime, anyplace. No need to acquired more to get it. The misconception that you need this or that in order to feel whole. It a misconception, you only need one thing child. And that is yourself. If you have yourself, all of you, the dark and light part of you, the side you loved and admired and the side that make you look away. All parts of you deserve recognition. They are you and yours alone, so we got to honour them. Every part of you love you and want your attention and want you to acknowledge them. Let us finally do that. Let us look into the mirror and see ourselves finally.
We are a pure soul, there is nothing wrong with us, no matter what people implied. We are not broken, we are whole. Your soul is intact, it is there for you to go back and connect to it. Your soul is waiting for you to answer its calling. You heard it but you ignore it because life get in the way, but, if you're trying to find that fulfilment. That feeling of, aww there it is the thing I'm look for?, as annoying as it is, it is that part of you that you wouldn't dare look at.
Poem: Surrendering by @cant-find-my-name
Surrendering my sorrows
Surrendering to my flaws
If there is no Perfection
I would be perfect
Nitpicking my visions
Aiming for the best
Left behind a broken body
And an anxiety ridden mind,
Right path don't do that
Peace is not a compromise
Tis a birth right
Just like how everyone will die,
Getting my soul back
Revived my forgotten joy
Everyday supposed to be precious
Not wishing for it to stop
Song : Back To Beautiful by Sofia Carson
They say You're not good enough, you're not brave enough You should cover up your body Tell me, watch my weight Gotta paint my face Or else no one's gonna want me
Why do we say this to ourselves? And even worse to each other? Why do we say this to ourselves? Ooh
We gotta, get back to beautiful Gotta, get back to beautiful All these words, starting wars Over who can hurt who more Gotta, get back to beautiful
🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰
Pile 5🍰
"Something is changing, you can feel it. More internally rather than externally. But it's changing all the same. But you're not scare or excited. You are just neutral about it. But there is that part of you that goes, Finally. Because lately, nothing evokes your interest.The desires you had once feel ill fitted. When you realised that nothing really matter, not in a depressing way, but more of a freeing way, You accepted that as truth. You are not satisfied in life, yes, but seeking more things will not do either. You don't want more per say, but there's something missing that you don't know how to put into words. The missing piece might not be tangible, might just be intangible things that you can't hold onto. Which way should you headed towards when your inner compass is kind of confused.
Forward is the way, you will never be lost, as long as you keep moving forwards and not stop. We will not rush either. When we are in a confusing state, we must take our time and experienced our moment fully so that there won't be a lapse in our memory. Memory is a tricky thing, if you think too far into the future or the past as you experiencing the present, then your present becomes filled with memories from the future or the past. So the present moment will never exist. Be careful of letting moments passed you by, it is alright to not know why you are feeling this way. It is alright to be confused or sad or even unsatisfied. It is alright to be in that state in your present because whatever you are feeling at the moment, the present will eventually become a past.”
Poem: Renewal by @cant-find-my-name
There is hope in this world
In words that you said,
Even though it's a lie
You tell yourself it'll be okay
Maybe not now
Definitely not right now
But hopefully someday
You begin to notice the yellow
In dandelions,
How it shine like gold
In certain light.
Now you finally see
The colourful sky
How many shades of it
Changed with time.
How every poem you write
Begins to rhyme
And you know there's a reason for all this
Every little bit of it
So whatever happened
Do not resist
For you shall learn to embrace it
Song : Take A Chance by Flume
So you feel all your powers unfold
Stretching our big wings while the white is turning gold So tell your story baby, don't give up, just let it all go out You're quiet wishing for something now
Will you be the one to take a chance? Have demands, spill your heart Will you be the one to take a stand Make the girls dance Spill your thoughts Will you be the one to take a chance? Have demands, spill your heart Will you be the one to take a stand Make the girls dance Spill your thoughts, will you?
🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰
Pile 6🌙
"The unlimited possibility you seek is there for you to tapped into. Your believed is everything, so be careful what or who you believe in. Miracles exist, just look into a mirror and witness one. Look into your own eyes and wondered who that soul is. For it is you, but there so much you don't know about yourself, yet. Instead of feeling bad about that, we should feel excited. For it is a privilege to know thyself. Know your limit and your unlimited possibilities. How many grains of sand on the beach, that is how much your potentials lies. What you can achieved in life is up to how much you are opened to recieved.
My dear, you are magnificent, I wish you can see yourself through my eyes. How you hold on to life, wise beyond your years. Give it everything you got, no matter what that is, is such a human trait even gods envied. Every difficulties you go through know that those got nothing on your willpower to get through them. You are a strong little human, whose hope is bigger then the universe.You believe in the better, better days, better life, better energy for this earth. And your hope/light is what is keeping this planet alive. Keep believing in your power, because you are powerful. And loved by many.
Poem: Home Coming by @cant-find-my-name
My Divine Mother gentle touch
She taught me so much
By being nurtured we grow
By being loved we thrive
By being connected
We become part of the Divine
I know you look at yourself
And see a scare child
Darling, that's quite alright
Cause you are protected, alway
All the flaws should be
Embraced
There's no need for harsh judgment
Gentleness to ourselves is what
We should aim for
Realise what's important
Now look at yourself one more time
And see the true core
Song: Hummingbird by Metro Boomin & James Blake 
Hummingbird, summer sun, has it brought my life back? Hangin' in the balance, have you brought the light back? And how long's the night shift? She's sure I get away with Realizin' she might be all I need in this life
When I saw a cold snap, I wasn't with the season Attack was on the airport and outside there was a season In here paper walls are pushing back on you like Eventually you push through, the moment that you realize
And hummingbird, I know that's our time (That's our time) But stay on, stay on, stay on with me And hummingbird, I can never unsee What you've shown me, stay on, stay on with me
🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰
🍑Thank you for reading! I would love to know what you think. See you soon!!!🧿
🍏Check out more of my Original Poetry at @cant-find-my-name or my IG Poemnic
🍉Check out my YouTube Channel for more Pick-A-Card Reading : Poemnic -Tarot
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desiredcaramellatte · 11 months
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I would like some headcanons on how madeleine cookie would deal with a dragon s/o who had the tendency to steal his sword and shield.
Ah, yes, because we love it when S/O holds valued objects hostage.
Wrote this a little last night and finished it this morning! I have a test in like an hour that I should be studying for but oh well
Actually it’s a LA test so does this count as studying?
Tried out something different from my usual headcannon set up, I thought the arrows looked pretty and wanted to give them a shot :)
Apologies if it’s a little bit OOC again, I’m trying to reintroduce myself to their personalities after not writing for them for like half a year.
Madeleine x Dragon! Reader
Romantic
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ A knight and a dragon together, how ironic. Madeleine doesn’t care much about irony, though. All he cares about is the fact that he’s head-over-heels puppy-dog in love with you. This boy falls HARD, no matter if you’re a dragon or not.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Another small thing he cares about is the fact you keep stealing his weapon and shield, especially right before he’s sent on an important mission. When you did it the first time Madeleine was genuinely panicking thinking he’d lost or misplaced his things- like searching everywhere, turning over stones and rocks outside kind of panicking.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Then he finally came up to you to ask if you’d seen them, only to learn that you were the perpetrator who has stolen them- the bETRaYAL! He’s gotten used to it now, and whenever he wakes up to find his sword and shield gone he knows exactly who to go to.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ He can get a little annoyed by it if he’s in a big hurry to go somewhere important and you’re being stubborn, but it’s mostly fun for him to try and retrieve his stuff from the fearsome dragon guarding them like they’re some sort of hoard of gold.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ He takes your kidnapping of his things as a sign that you always want him nearby, enough to feel comfort in his most valiant objects, and that you know you can always get his attention in this way.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ By this point it’s also a bit of a game- he’ll try and hide his sword and shield from you when you aren’t looking, and he’s gotten pretty good at finding better hiding spots. It’s pretty much a back-and-forth between the two of you now.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ He has actually lost his things multiple times via not remembering where he hid them himself, and he has to retrace his footsteps and try and find them. It’s pretty funny to watch, and he’ll try to cover it up like he hadn’t just lost his things in an effort to make sure… well… he didn’t loose his things.
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kerubimcrepin · 7 days
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Live-Read: "Dofus Manga" - part 3
+ A big Atcham Analysis
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I'll only briefly point out that he has an ear ring, or that Ancestral Z draws him with hair tufts for cuteness' sake. We have to keep moving towards the point where I analyse him.
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Atcham seems to be quite famous, — to the point Dodge is chastised for not knowing him, despite being an ecaflip, — and one of his nicknames is "the killer of killers". Very, very interesting...
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"You're the one who made a huge mistake, Katar, by stealing the sword I had taken to repair... It belonged to my family for generations."
Obsessed with all the implications this has. You have no idea just how obsessed I am. To Atcham, swords aren't just weapons, — they're objects of sentimental value, a way to protect himself, a tool.
And it turns out that Katar threw his, and I quote Katar, "piece of shit sword" to the moon.
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We've discussed Atcham and Kerubim's dead family, lack of support system, and young age when they lost everything plenty here. Same for their irrational hatred for one another.
No need to tell you how awful this must feel for him. Imagine someone throwing your dead father's picture into the river. For fun.
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"And the smith was a good friend of mine." Man :(
(He's either not that good at telling that someone is scared of him, which is sad, — or the smith that Katar killed was joking, when he said that he was afraid of Atcham.)
What follows is the most important scene I have for characterizing Atcham:
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"The... the six Dofus. You have reunited the six Dofus! And what are you planning to do with them? Do you have an idea already?" "They intend to defeat Cornu Mollu."
If I speak on Cornu Mollu, this post will devolve into a 5-hour lecture on how much I hate the Twelve gods, — how Oropo "Did Nothing Wrong", — and how Sadida, Iop, and Ecaflip in particular need to be [VIOLENT LANGUAGE OMITTED] for the things they have done. Let's just say that he's a demon guy who rules Brakmar at the time of manga, ok?
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"You guys are comedians. PHAHAHA! The guy is stronger than a god... And your Dofus can't change that! And his armies have only continued to expand — they're invincible."
Atcham laughs them out of town like clowns for thinking they can defeat Cornu Mollu. Which is more than understandable. But it is interesting, how he speaks of Brakmar here... Not very patriotic, he.
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"I wish you courage in your collective suicide. As for me, I'm going to find myself a little island, hoping to escape all this!"
The thing about Atcham, is that mostly, he just cares about himself, and the things he likes.
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He doesn't care about the city he's in, — outside the fact that his brother is on the opposing side. He doesn't care about the world, or saving it, — because the world certainly hasn't cared about him!
And he WILL flee, if it saves his skin from any unnecessary pain or danger.
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What he cares about is his own damn self, because nobody else is going to.
For this reason, his personal moral compass is entirely dependent on saving his own skin, because he has only ever had himself to rely upon. He tries not to be too cruel, — yet, if the mood strikes him, he becomes hyperviolent just for the sake of fun.
But the thing about him is that he will leave, if things aren't going well. He won't stay.
This includes fleeing Brakmar at the first sight of trouble. And chances are, it also has, multiple times, included Joris and Kerubim after the movie.
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While I will go more in detail on this later, sometime after Leorictus's nightmare reign and Joris's huppermage horror beyond our comprehension, Atcham has left Kerubim and Joris to return to Brakmar's side.
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As far as I am aware, it is not because of some deep falling out, — they still seem to love one another. Kerubim has an instance of mentioning Atcham, in a pretty teasing manner, — and in the quest that involves catching him for his crimes, Kerubim comes to bail him out with a defense attorney speech at the ready to explain away why the atrocities are both a misunderstanding and completely justified, — but the thing is that Atcham left them, and began doing weird stuff, like crimes. In Kerubim's own Ecaflipus temple.
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My personal thought is that Atcham keeps leaving because he's scared.
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He cares a lot, — because they're the first people to ever care about him, and it drives him crazy how little they care for themselves. It hurts seeing them in pain.
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Leorictus's reign probably was hard, emotionally speaking, — Joris wasn't even legally allowed to live in Bonta, or anywhere else, as a huppermage, — and yet, in Dofus MMO, judging from NPC dialogue about how Kerubim only moved back to Astrub somewhat recently,
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— and Joris's presence in the game before the implementation of Huppermages as a class (I.E. their return from Rok Island), all signs point to the fact that this whole time, as Huppermages fled to Rok Island, — The Trio stayed in Bonta despite the danger, for some insane fucking reason. Probably heroism. Probably trying to save people. (people who have read my fic Fragile will uhh. Recognize this premise. Yeah. I think a lot about this all. To the point of writing a fic about this insane era of their lives.)
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I think Atcham hates how responsible he feels for them, and the batshit insane things, — heroism? saving the world?! helping other people?!? self-sacrifice!?!? — they make him want to believe in, and how afraid he is of losing them. It is for him, to agree to do things he would never do before, for them, — and it's scary, just as scary as how dependent he is now, despite being ok with loneliness before them.
And sometimes, it's just too much, and too fast. So, he leaves, again, and again.
But on a positive note, I want to believe he is mostly over leaving them whenever he gets too stressed out, by Wakfu times. Maybe it's the maturity that comes with age, — or realizing how much they need him after Ogrest's Chaos, but I want to believe that he now expresses his frustration in other, more productive ways: herding these two idiots away from danger.
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Ranging from: subtly insisting that Joris doesn't go on insane suicide missions all alone just to protect them (Just like Atcham, Joris's anxiety for his family makes him very irrational at times.), and trying to get Kerubim to always be ready for battles, while protecting him because he isn't,
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To just plain having the willpower to tell the world's most stupidly self-sacrificial man "Did you consider that the floating eyes in the sky aren't any of our business? :)"
Which is pretty funny.
Anyway, yeah, Joris is not surviving the things Kerubim and Atcham will do to him, after he tells them that he went to something called "The Necroworld", almost got trapped there, and then almost died 20 times.
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crooked-wasteland · 8 days
Text
Hazbin Hotel Live Blog: Welcome to Heaven
Coming back I found I did enjoy the last episode far more than I did the others. It obviously suffers from who the director is, but I could still see the more competent writer underneath certain portions of the episode. This one is written by Adam Stein who was credited for six episodes of Harley Quinn, a series I admittedly do not particularly care for. I wouldn’t consider the series bad and I enjoy scenes more than the whole, but its clear that Hazbin and much of Medrano’s writing ideas are in many ways ripped off from Harley Quinn far more than Bojack Horseman. To be frank, if Medrano had stuck her comparison to Harley Quinn, I doubt she would be criticized nearly as much as she is for her writing. I know, for myself, if she had compared her shows to Harley Quinn and never once breathed in the direction of Bojack Horseman, I wouldn’t have ever been motivated to even criticize this series. I think a comparison to Harley Quinn is fair, it is an objectively worse version of Harley Quinn, but it is better suited to the style and audience of that show far and above something of high art and value like Bojack. Harley Quinn is simply not my tastes, I wouldn’t say it’s bad, but even with a gun to my head I could never in good faith consider it good. It’s better than Hazbin and Helluva Boss, but its also a fairer comparison.
Vaggie adds “gah” to her line about being a liar in the most painful way. While they obviously paid Stephanie the most, they in no way paid her enough to care. It was physically written into the script and it highlights how little the actress actively participated in the series. She didn’t even try to make it sound natural, she doesn’t care for the character she is playing and she doesn’t care whether or not we know.
It makes no sense that Angel Dust is still working for Valentino. He could just stay in the hotel and ignore Val’s calls and texts like we have actively seen him do. So it’s like he hates working for Val, does so under duress and due to a contract on his soul, but Charlie is the princess of Hell whom Valentino openly stated he was threatened by and her hotel and patrons are under the protection of Lucifer who aligned himself with Charlie and her goals…. Just don’t go? There is Vaggie, Charlie, Lucifer and even Alastor who are more than capable of handling someone like Valentino on their own, let alone as a united front. Why is this still happening?
The physical comedy falls flat. Cheri grabs Sir Pentious’ hand and it cracks and is all mangled like it is broken, but he has zero response to it. The humor requires there to be a reaction to the level of violence displayed. Having not even a minor one means the sequence may as well not have happened, and it frankly feels like an excuse to just say Alex Brightman was in the episode and have him say as many lines as possible regardless of whether or not he should. I genuinely don’t understand why this character is even in Hell. Who is he as a person? Just why?
Sera says she only green-lit the exterminations so that Hell didn’t act up, and places the blame on Adam for Lucifer getting involved. But then she just… keeps letting Adam do what he’s doing, which is what caused her to feel threatened like this in the first place. So essentially “This is all your fault because of the things you’ve done. So keep doing them.” I don’t even get why Sera or any of Heaven feels this way about Hell. I assume Sera knows Charlie’s plans about redemption, but she seems threatened by it? When in reality treating Heaven like a prize for sinners seems like a logical way of cooperating with Hell and even maintaining civil relations.
Also, can I just point out how the character designs really fail to send any sort of message. Alastor, Niffty, Velvette, Carmella and her daughters, Rosie, and Mimzy are hyper humanoid demons in a Hell where non-human designs make up a majority of the cast and the distorted, abstract and animalistic designs in Hell make sense, whereas Heaven is mostly humanoid with random demonic designs walking around. It fails to send a message as well as just makes Heaven and Hell entirely the same. It fails to really sell the idea that Heaven is in any way better than Hell. Honestly, demons should have less human designs and appear more twisted and deformed. Heaven should have prioritized humanoid figures. Especially seeing as Medrano with a heritage in Latin America and Catholicism would know that the idea of Christianity she is supposedly criticizing emphasizes that humans were made “in the image” of god and angels. It also sets up an idea of one’s soul being cleansed by having this “godly” form. Mixing in furry designs at the same rate as Hell collapses any argument for media literacy or messaging being made.
Welcome to Heaven as a song is the best song of the show thus so far. It is the One Short Day of Hazbin, a vapid superficial scene-setting song that isn’t meant to further the characters, just the plot, and it actually succeeds. I’m not amazed by it, never would i play it for enjoyment reasons, but it works for the role it plays and is the only song that does so well.
Adam is telling Vaggie her own backstory, my favorite bad writing trope.
Additionally, I thought heavenly weapons were the only thing that could harm an angel. But Lute just rips off Vaggie’s wings with her bare hands. It really confuses the world when you don’t even keep to your own rules.
In the previous episode, Charlie says the hotel isn’t “working”, this episode has Adam demanding “evidence”. The lack of understanding what Charlie is looking for when she says Progress is never defined. On one hand she says Angel Dust is making progress, but just the last episode said that the hotel wasn’t actually helping anyone. Even at the start of the episode we don’t see any change in Angel Dust, just that he’s sad. He still swears performs sex work, is rude and crude, and at no point has his situation with drug addiction been addressed in any way. I can appreciate not wishing to say someone performing sex work is committing sin. As well as the implication that how one holds themself is unimportant to Heaven. But I think everyone can agree that drug addiction and abuse is harmful to those in the addiction and those who care for them. And also, it is extremely difficult to break. Drug addiction would be an excellent analogy for sin and breaking it would work as a parallel for redemption easily. So why is it the one thing you had going for you in way of themes and a show of progress and character growth we’ve never actually even addressed. In fact, Loser Baby enables the idea that Angel Dust’s use of drugs is fine because he’s a loser anyway. Just give up on yourself. So when this episode inevitably implies that Angel has actually been making progress on that front, it’ll make no sense.
That happened a whole lot sooner than I thought it would. And it being Husk saying he thought Angel was “Better than that” really does make his whole message in Loser Baby hypocritical. Him being the one to judge others on how they cope, offloading his hypocrisy on the excuse “I’m not trying to get to heaven”, but then still performs the emotionally abusive tactic of publicly and maliciously shaming is partner into a form of compliance. And this is the romantic relationship I’m supposed to be going nuts over? Even in the case where one can argue he is doing it from a place of concern, he has never once cared about Angel’s drug use in the series. It has never been mentioned in any detail of it being harmful. It is literally placed on the same level as his hypersexuality in the song Loser Baby, which we are supposed to wave away as not being harmful because he enjoys it. The line is he “samples” every sex toy and drug. This is just the Alastor must be lying because nothing makes sense argument, except its the world that doesn’t make sense and thus nothing can be trusted and the suspension of disbelief and the act of world building is inherently gone. This isn’t even a story at this point. It is merely a bunch of drawings doing things for nearly half an hour because time is money, and Medrano likes money.
I feel the setup isn’t too bad. It’s the story of Job, which, yes, you should use the material you are criticizing if you are actually seeking to criticize it (whether or not Medrano’s is even attempting a critique on Christianity is hugely up to debate, but that’s not for this kind of post). It’s Lucifer in the Bible coming to the court of god and saying he’s been on earth observing the humans. He claims humans would never worship god if not for god incentivizing them through blessings and so god is like, “bet, do your worst”. Except, in the Bible story it shows god’s callousness. He allows Job to suffer and gives permission to Lucifer to torture this faithful man, of which when Job laments, god chastises him for doubting. This removes the negative qualities of god from the story by just watching Angel Dust make his own decisions. Which works for the idea of free will, I suppose, but the idea of free will being imagination from the last episode to now just waiting for Angel Dust to choose to conform to an idea of morals takes away any meta critique on the nature of heaven. Just saying.
Still not a fan of how infantilized the show makes Niffty.
The scene with Angel standing up to Valentino was such an attempt at an emotional reaction, and in reality it only succeeds in tiptoeing the edge of emotional catharsis. It never gets to reach that point because we don’t actually see the way that Val and Angel interact most of the time. And I’ll just say it, the Poison sequence ruins this scene. It set up this idea that Angel Dust has complicated feelings for Valentino and in many ways their relationship is just as much an addiction as the drugs. But we never see the harmful side to Angel’s drug addiction and nor do we see his complicated feelings for Val break down as he grows closer to Husk. It is unearned. And then having Charlie point blank say why that scene exists for the narrative kills any and all investment. It was there just so Angel Dust can fit Adam’s checklist. So there is no authentic emotions attached to that scene from the ground up. It is a contrivance that feels almost hateful in its existence.
Why is Adam treated as Sera? Adam was the one who made the list, but Emily contributes it to Sera. Sera didn’t even know how a soul ends up in heaven, all she says is “he was the first human soul here”, meaning she defers to him to understand. To have her be the one saying not everything is written in ink, when she openly is the first one to say she hasn’t any idea, really confuses the lack of story you are trying to tell.
So, the whole series has now confirmed it has no clue how to tell a story. “If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie”, so the idea of moving between heaven and hell is not a concept. Someone from heaven cannot fall to hell and someone from hell cannot enter heaven, except they can. Vaggie. Her entire existence is proof that heaven isn’t forever, so why would Hell be? If anything, Vaggie should be a spark of hope for Charlie. Additionally, the threshold of whether souls can be redeemed has nothing to do with if they can or not. Rather, it ends the same way it began. No one is in control and no one has any power one way or the other. But Vaggie being in hell, despite being an angel, who was never held in a court to determine if she should fall or not and was deemed unholy by humans, not the council of angels, just brought this whole house of cards down. In fact, the person on trial should have been Vaggie, and in extension Lute. Who is Lute to have the right to make such a call compared to Emily? Why does no one bring up this discrepancy? And having Vaggie on trial instead of an ignorant Angel Dust being critiqued without his knowledge would have been a better vehicle for not just exploring Vaggie’s past, but also the ideas surrounding redemption and banishment and the values/hypocrisy of heaven. As it stands, this episode was a waste of everyone’s time.
Adam Stein brought nothing to the table, all the same issues in Medrano’s writing are present and played out here. Adam may as well be a ghost writer as he didn’t even attempt to bring any of his own strengths to the script. I can’t say I’m surprised at this, however. It is just Harley Quinn after all.
2/10
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thevirgodoll · 1 year
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how does one stop being a yes man, i feel like my life is not my own, im always scared of upsetting people…
The biggest thing I need you to remember: You don't need others to be happy in order for YOU to be happy yourself. You don't need things to be perfect with others in order to live your life...people are going to be upset, people are going to disagree. Your need to control how others feel is rooted from your own personal avoidance of your own emotions. You're losing your sense of self in someone else, and that's torture and self sabotage.
Even in small ways, you can lose yourself.
Signs of People Pleasing:
Every time you apologize for simple things, like being late.
Every time you abandon your own needs to help others.
Every time you abandon your own values and morals for others.
Every time you change your opinion to fit someone else's.
Every time you silence yourself instead of saying no or disagreeing. These little habits build up to no sense of self over time.
What will go so wrong if you start putting yourself first? If you allow other people to have their OWN emotions and detach from that? Whatever someone else feels is their truth, and the same goes for YOU.
The only way out of chronic people pleasing is awareness and consciousness over your behaviors that dishonor the core of who you are.
Reflection Questions:
How can I start being more intentional with my interactions with others and the way I live my life?
Why do I need to control what others think so badly?
Before I react and send myself on this proverbial rabbit hole, is it really important?
Am I viewing this from an objective lens, or from a fear of abandonment?
When I get anxious about how other people feel, what am I missing? What are my needs in that current moment?
Why am I trying to convince people of my worth?
And to be very blunt: Do I REALLY care about what this person thinks?
Assertive Phrases to Practice Saying:
"I'll get back to you on that."
"I would like to finish what I was saying."
"I need to be listened to right now."
"I am not seeking feedback."
"I don't want to talk about (insert subject)."
"Will you meet me there at (insert time) instead?"
"This works best for me."
"I appreciate your help, but I am not looking for suggestions."
"I just need to vent right now."
"I know you're trying to help, but this is making me feel (insert feeling)."
"My situation is different than yours, but I do appreciate what you have to say."
"I am upset, and I don't want to discuss it as of right now."
"I'm mad."
"I am hurt."
"I love you, however, I don't like when you did (insert thing here)."
"My feelings are my feelings, and I deserve to feel this way."
"I know what your intentions were, but the impact was (insert feeling)."
"Thank you for your apology, but I cannot accept it right now."
"I'm not ready to share. Please respect that."
"This conversation will have to end."
"No." When all else fails learn to say NO! No is always a complete sentence, and you don't owe anyone anything beyond what is appropriate!
Now get yourself together! Cause no Doll here is gonna people please. Not on my watch. I know it's easier said than done, but I believe in you! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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evelmiina · 2 years
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Hi there! Saw your post about things we’d like to learn about your workflow. I was wondering about how you compose an image at the value stage, before even considering colors? I personally struggle a lot with making my values blend too much together and would love a tutorial or something about how you pick good ones that are separate enough while remaining graphically appealing? Thanks! And I really enjoy your work :)
Hi! I apologize for long due reply
I am familiar with the problem! It's not easy. But I must confess... I rarely do value sketches. I do them more for client work (if needed) but for personal work I tend to work with color from the get-go (it's a mess). However, I do check on values and think about them all the time.
At the very early stages of pictures I tend to think about the shapes the most and everything else is kinda dictated by that... that should probably be a different post entirely, me breaking down what kind of shapes I just like and why I choose them. It's very intuitive to me so I just generally "feel" about shapes rather than think, so it would be useful for myself to break them down too. However, I did think about what you said about values, and your particular problem about values blending together too much.
I made some notes on top of my own work, to illustrate my approach a bit better:
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If you feel like your values tend to be too close to each other, don't be afraid to choose a focal point for the image and add contrast there. You can move on from high contrast to more subtle contrasts. Think of how to best frame the focal point in a way that the viewer will definitely look at it first. It can help to look at any pictures, art and photographs, and squint your eyes until you can only see the bigger shapes and contrasts.
When thinking about how to construct stylistically more graphic pictures, the shapes of everything are most important. Not just the character or objects, but negative space, lit up areas and shadows too - they're all shapes.
Additionally, my trick for checking the values is, I keep a solid black color (# 000000) layer on top of all artwork, with layer mode set to "color". Here's also reason why it's more accurate than other ways of checking value:
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For photoshop users, you can check the greyscale of the picture in multiple ways. However, they don't have the same effect! If you use "Desaturate" or "Hue/Saturation" adjustment, you DON'T get the actual values of the picture.
The areas I circled with red had their values flattened, compared to the image with black color layer on top.
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gayhoediaz · 2 months
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not any of my business AT ALL but noticed you said buck was too young for you at 6 years older and then I got curious....what is your type? (obvs feel free to ignore)
it’s absolutely your business my daddy issues is my favorite topic. just. imagine me tucking my feet up under myself 🥰
no read more link i'm making this everyone's business <3
(we're doing this mainly based off of looks just to make it easy. i'm also someone who values physical attraction greatly, so it makes sense to me. personally. i'll talk a little bit about just general personality and vibes at the end, though!)
get in losers, we're objectifying men! (with respect, and the acknowledgment that just like women, they are all real people, and have a lot more to offer, even the characters, they're played by real people. and i'm sure they're all wonderful people until i'm proven otherwise.)
okay. so.
i’m a pretty introspective person and i’ve actually been thinking about this lately because my taste is. relatively. unpredictable.
i did indeed say that buck would be too young for me at roughly 6 years older and i stand by that because here’s the thing: i feel like when people think of daddy issues in terms of age, they think of. people being interested in people who are. a little bit older. my personal daddy issues run so deep, i need them older. (we’re specifically talking about men. i like women too - but that’s neither here nor there and i have a good relationship with my mom, so that’s not what we’re talking abt rn.) i’m into men that like. if i told you they were my dad, you would not fucking blink.
and it’s not just the age. being an objectively attractive man roughly 20 years my senior? that’s not necessarily enough. we’re going off of celebrities and fictional characters right now cause it’s just an easy way to explain things but there are plenty of men who are very objectively attractive and are twenty years older than me, but who just. don’t look it. and i absolutely see why people thirst after them but they’re just. not for me. like. okay.
manny montana? very pretty. i love looking at him. and he is much older than me. and yet, not my type.
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same with like. andy samberg. so. very. pretty. and roughly a couple decades older than me. my type? nope.
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now - tony dalton?
yeah. yeah.
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^^^ and it’s not just “lalo’s hot” no no no no no my ass is in the discord server at 3am losing it over pictures like this:
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(^^^ he's not btw. not to me.)
when i tell y’all i’m hopeless i am HOPELESS
anyway moving onto someone else i’m feral about: billy burke but ONLY when he’s scruffy okay?
this? i mean i wouldn’t… not let hit, but
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when i say im feral abt billy burke i’m talking about charlie swan and i’m talking abt this:
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honorable mention i am also feral as fuck abt robert knepper
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and now, i can hear you saying "oh nie, i get it, so you're not attracted to men who have like chronic boy face, i get it!!! you're into like. the jeffrey dean morgan, joe manganiello types!"
nope. i am not the slightest bit attracted to either of those men. like. *vanessa hudgens voice* i get it. i respect it.
not for me tho.
NOW. there is a little bit of a gray area when we talk about men who like... have chronic boy face and everything else about them is just... not that energy.
like. raul castillo for example.
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(he looks a lot like a young version of my maternal grandpa, but that's just. something we're not gonna touch rn.) first of all? my immediate reaction is not "let me hit" my first reaction is very similar to manny montana in the sense that like. so. pretty.
but also? tummyyyyyyy so nvm let me hit yk what i mean?
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(for some reason jon bernthal also goes in this category. they don't look anything alike but. same vibes to me in terms of how attracted i am, personally. where it's like. sure. yknow?)
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i am also forever a mustache warrior, okay, shave off a mustache? doesn't usually necessarily ruin it for me, but grow one? it's better. immediately. actually, while oliver, just like buck, is too young to be my type, the only picture in existence where i am even the slightest bit attracted to oliver is the one from that photoshoot where the lighting accidentally made it look like he had one:
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that's it. that's the only one.
(while we're on the topic of 9-1-1 cast: ryan also is too young for me, but i am very attracted to him when he has long hair. the second it's gone, he's just a silly little guy to me. i'm not really attracted to peter, although i wouldn't... say no. i'm here for kenny, though. absolutely. anytime.)
now so i feel less bad about objectifying every single man mentioned in this post, let's talk personalities (not specifically the ones mentioned, because i don't know them. this is just abt me and just general vibes that i'm drawn to) i need the vibe to be like. relaxed, which i think loops right back around to daddy issues, of course - it's not that i would be turned off if i'm with a man and he needs to cry on my shoulder 'cause something happened, that's fine - but generally there needs to be a feeling of just. not a lot of stress, not a lot of anxiety, things are handled, things will work out - you know. and usually, you tend to get that from people who are. a lot older. even people in their 30s don't usually have their shit together like that. (which is fine!!) but it's just so. just. easy to breathe when someone's like "eh, i'll fix it" (and yes, my love language is indeed acts of service)
as i put it in another post at some point: [billy burke in twilight] awakened the innermost parts of me that yearn to be railed by scruffy, mustached men old enough to be my father who look like they smell like a campfire and taste like tobacco and like i would tell them i wanted dick and they would nod once and say "yes ma'am"
the end <3
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caputvulpinum · 1 year
Note
hey genuinely thank you for giving a fuck. many many people have simply stopped giving fucks for many reasons but you have not. plz don't let the shitbags get you down.
Something I've written about, in the past:
The past year has been about understanding who I am when my back isn’t against the wall. In some ways it’s more terrifying, having the responsibility of making a good life for myself from good foundations. But I remember with every second what it was like to live a life without the luck I’ve been given, and I see the people that get denied it every day. If anger is powerful, I want to use that anger. I want to wield it and make something so angry that everybody will be angry with me. An anger in a single direction, with one edge like a knife, to cut the world down the middle and into a better shape, and hand it to everyone like halves of an orange. I only have two hands to make any piece of art with, and I will only ever have (at most, at my most fortunate) two hands. But I don’t stand alone in being angry at this cruel, foolish world, the one which looks at children and teaches them “You are not worth anything, you have no value or sanctity just because you are human,” and laughs and calls us childish when we say we deserve better than that.
Because that’s the most formative thing about me of all. The selfish, bitter dregs of feeling hurt and betrayed by the world. The incredibly egotistical idea, “I deserved a better world”. Look at my past self and all of the cruel, flailing, foolish things I did–some on purpose, some not, all causing harm anyway–and think about what I could do about it.
I think that, on one hand, yes. I deserved better, objectively. There are things in my narrative that no one deserves the agony of. Beyond that, perhaps I deserved better circumstances.
But I think it doesn’t matter what I deserved in the past, good or bad. What matters more to me is not making the same mistakes in the future. I can’t allow myself to resent the people around me for being maybe a little bit more lucky than I was; there’s art to be made that could change the world. All of it is made out of anger. All of my past, all of my future, it can only ever be anger. Anger that creates, anger that cuts, anger that hardens, anger that stands in front of other people and walks the line for them.
Anger that stands in front of other people and walks the line for them. I’d almost like that to be the narrative I make for myself. To make a world in which I can say that the events that formed me most are not the ones which hardened me like lava to obsidian, proud like a boar. Instead, a world where I met its hard edges as gentle as I dared. You may have wondered why I sounded so different in the poems I write than the person I am, and the truth is almost simple.
I learned to write poetry to put to words all the things that I feel which I’m unable to understand or say. That’s the narrative I’ve been trying hard to tell you all, all this time, the one I want to write so badly and yet have no idea how to.
Writing about anger is so easy for me, except for that one kind, because I can never talk about it except in poems. It lives in me somewhere deeper than anything else, deeper than my heart, deeper than my soul. It can only come out in art, not in words. That anger lives in my belly and it growls like a great black dog every time it thinks it sees someone being hurt. I think that says the most about me that I’ll ever be able to say.
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j0rg33n · 6 months
Text
Tear you apart part1(?) (Tf2 Sniper x GN!reader)
A/N PLEASE READ -> hiii this is my first ever fic, I wrote it when I was bored while traveling by train, so don't expect anything spectacular also English is not my native language so sorry for possible mistakes (you can point them out if you want I will gladly correct them!!) I'm still not sure about posting it so if you like it, let me know and I'll post the next part cuz despite everything I surprisingly enjoyed working on it??? I also posted it on ao3
[words count: 820]
Your relationship with Mundy was starting to disturb your every day life. All you could think about was him. His scent, his voice, especially when he called your name, even standing in the same room as him started being disheartening.You keep having that unsatisfied feeling growing inside of you and you couldn't do anything with it. You couldn't really make a move since you knew that it will not bring the desired effect. He is a man with hard values; "professionals have standards" this sentence kept running through your head every time you wanted to change things between you and him,but you were sure he wouldn't want relationship between one of his colleagues. So you just keept admiring him form behind. That was the safest way, but it always left you unsatisfied. You wanted more.
As you remain to live in cloud-cuckoo-landyou haven't noticed that your team started to go their separate ways until you heard familiar voice
"you okay ma'am?" it was Engi, you didn't turn around to face him, leaving him only with a plain response "Yeah just lost myself in thoughts" he didn't push more, leaving you as you are. You really liked him for respecting your personal space. As you were planning on leaving the rec room you heard familiar groan, that send instant chills through your body.
"You too? what's happening to y'all?is something in the air?" engi half joking asked. Sniper came to the table you two were sitting at. "Nah i just have bad snipin day, need to practice more" eyes focused on his rifle you decided to stay and pretend you're going through your stuff, so you could listen to their conversation.
"Guess that holiday got you off tracks boy, well sorry but can't help you with that, not my cup of tee" as always engi was using that warm western tone, it was nice, it always brings a smile onto your face "but I'm sure you gonna get better soon, you're the best sniper I've ever met.... and I've only met one" Engi laughed off and gave him a solid hit on his back. This made you laugh a little.
"Old bastard" Sniper let out a little chuckle. That's when your eyes met and it hit you. Your stomach started to feel tight. You tried to not show it, but you wanted to tear your skin apart. You wanted him and this was bad. You wanted to keep him close to you, but you couldn't. You started losing sense of your surroundings. Were they talking? Was there complete silence? You didn't know, you were completely lost in his eyes. They are so pretty, you feel like they could tell you much more than you know about him, but there was some kind of wall made of glass keeping you away from him. it hurts you once again. After probably few seconds of you staring at him you manage to get a hold of yourself, going back to reality where it seems he broke the eye contact long time ago and went on their conversation. You began to listen again.
"So the shooting range is still inactive?" "yea sorry cowboy you gonna have to figure something out"
"piss"
"just shoot some thing I don't know bottles?"
"mate do oi look like 6yer old t'ya?"
"I'm just trying to help you out" he stopped for a moment "why don't our princesses asisste you and throw them so you can shot moving objects since she doesn't have anything better to do?" he then turned to you grinning and you were once again taken back to the real life
"Huh?? what?" you looked at Texan visibly confused
"What miss?still daydreaming? I just found you a job that will keep you busy, no need to thank me ma'am" he stood proudly with a big grin
"Throwing bottles up the sky in a friday evening woow yeah that's just what I needed thank you my saviour" you responded sarcastically bowing a bit to him,you manage to get a light laugh form him. Meanwhile sniper looked a little lost, not knowing what he should say or do, so you took the initiative.
"Well... if you really need me I can help you" u wasn't sure if this was good idea and you quickly lost all your conifidence, so in order to escape his gaze you began looking for another point to state, so you directed your next words towards the engineer "As the engi said I don't have anything better to do" you tried to give him sassy look. "yea 'kay Shelia how could I turn back offer like this?" god his smile is so precious and you love when he refers to you as "Shelia" its just a Australian slang and he probably uses it to every women he meets but the fact that he never uses it to call Miss Pauling (surely due to the fact that she's his superior) makes you feel special everytime.
"M'gonna meet you infornt of the base in one hour, is that oaky?" "yea sure see you later " you quickly gave him a smile before he turned and went somewhere.
congratulations if you noticed the reference to a song !! Any tips, advices anything are always welcome:]
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roadandruingame · 15 days
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RAR Musings #11: Rebuilding A System
I engaged with another designer somewhat recently about a mech game they were designing, for sale. It was meant to be "simple and approachable", "narratively driven", and "introduce elements of mech games that enthusiasts enjoy, but to people who aren't enthusiasts."
They were bemoaning/articulating Killing Your Darlings, which has been popular in game design spaces for a minute, but has quickly blown up to be a buzzphrase people use to appear more experienced and wise than they actually are. Better read, at least, but without avoiding appearing pretentious instead. Like, "oh woe is me, who must relinquish my idea to the void. Good thing I'm above all that, professional designer that I am, that I can sacrifice my preferences and ideals for the greater good," but for a single tear rolling down the cheek.
They were interested in a Stress mechanic, one that prevented player action, as a parallel hardcap to the Heat mechanic meant to overload mech parts and make them inoperable, on top of the Energy Cost for equipment use, and randomized LookUp Tables unique to specific weapons and gear. While none of this reads as "simple and approachable" nor a good introduction of mech-enthusiast catalogue crunch to an outsider, Stress at least would have helped enable the "narratively driven" element, which as far as I could tell, was just another addition to the already sizeable pile of games that don't actually have mechanics for generating a narrative, but are "narratively driven" because they place one diceroll-based event after another, and players and DMs alike can assign whatever narrative that they please. But, since the mechanic reduces player agency (I thought that was the point?), it's getting removed.
I fought about it, and offered some alternatives. Rather than a negative mechanic, inhibiting action, why not a Brave mechanic, granting extra rewards for engaging in risk? Why have all these different mech parts, why not just have Parts, if non-mech enthusiasts weren't going to care? Why not come up with mechanics that actually DO tell a narrative, rather than just relying on DND-make believe?
The more I thought about it, the more mad I got, not just at the designer, but at myself, and Road and Ruin.
I don't like the phrase, Killing Your Darlings, to begin with. It implies that your idea is so specific, so inherent to the engine you're designing for, that there's absolutely no salvaging it. A new species, that winks in and out of existence, a twinkle, before you snuff it out, never to be seen again. Figure out a way for it to be used! Or if it doesn't fit or overworks the product, shelve it! Use it on a different project! Don't let your dreams be memes! You're a designer, not a farmer with a lame horse!
But I had invested so much time, so much design work, and been so pleased with the elegance of Road and Ruin's core resolution mechanic, that after coming to terms with the fact that it was bulky, time-consuming, involved adding too many numbers, and ultimately wasn't actually very fun, I resisted any notion of changing it. Even later, when I DID change proficiency from affecting the minimum dice value of the d10s, into being a flat value added to the d10s, the system still involved adding anywhere from 2-5 random values between 1 and 10, and then the proficiency value besides.
So why was I so willing to tear into this objectively decent mech game, and do so much design work trying to come up with ways to simplify it, when I wasn't willing to entertain simplifying Road and Ruin for a more enjoyable experience and a wider audience?
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I woke up the other day with a sudden idea.
Road and Ruin's core skill resolution system might involve too much math hinging on too many variables, but what about the combat system?
It was another system I'd done some major work on over time, but unlike skill checks, only really involved one dice roll, and no math after. I started to think how I might actually make the combat system the core skill check system, thus unifying the game under one mechanic, and being a lot faster, and more fun besides.
The gist of it is, that when making an attack in combat, you'd roll a d4 (Piercing/Accurate), d8 (Slash/Scrape, edged contact), or d12 (Bashing/Touch, only contact is necessary), subtracting the target's armor, and +/- an amount based on who had the edge in weapon skill. A 1 or less is a miss, and above half is full damage, based on a flat value determined by the weapon's weight, minus any lacking Strength needed to swing it. Anything in between is a Glancing Blow for half damage. There's also the Special system as well, but I'll leave that for another post; the point was, I wanted combat to come away having inflicted SOME damage each attack, rather than none, but for there to be a real fear of both heavily armored units, as well as expert swordsmen.
But what if that was how skill checks worked? Currently, the system assumes an average 2d10, up to 5d10, adding (proficiency/10 x specialization/5), and looks for multiples of 10; that is, 10+ is 1 success, 20+ is 2 successes, 30+ is 3, with successes being measures of what a creature can easily, with training, and with specialization do, relative to a creature of it's size and shape. An adult human can toss paper into a can with a 1; a wolf might be able to open a latched door with a 2-3, or 25. Blessings/Curses and gear could modify this in multiple ways, such as preventing rolls below or above a certain threshold, or allowing the reroll of one or more die.
If skill checks were instead a sliding scale, using a single d10, difficulty could be calculated before the roll was even made, like the impact of 2 points of armor on an attack roll. By sliding the scale of success, even physically using a sliderule, results of (1 Fail/And, 234 Fail, 5 Fail/But, 6 Succeed/But, 789 Success, and 10 Success/And) are moved left and right, and the die is left with the final say. Specializations can reduce the threshold of Succeed/And, while greater consequences for failure move up the threshold of Fail/And.
If 10% increments are too much, (especially for disciplines where the likelyhood of crafting a masterwork item should be less than 10%), a d100 still offers a "one dice" solution, but on 1% increments. In that case, the threshold for masterwork can be "specialization x proficiencies", and anyone with even one specialization can make repeat attempts, so long as they have the time and resources, to continue chiseling away until they've finished their magnum opus, gaining +1% chance of masterwork each roll, whereas a legendary master completes such works on a 50% basis.
In terms of gear, supportive equipment can either reduce the Success/And threshold, the regular success threshold, or allow for a reroll 'save' when rolling a failure, such as in the case of climbing rope stopping a fall. But, in each case that the support is used, it suffers a level of damage, and the Fail/And threshold of the follow-up save increases. Past a certain point, using intact, but damaged rope ends up being more risky than it's worth, without it explicitly preventing use.
In the case of blessings and curses, they can allow rerolls, or just flat +1/-1 effects. What I'm really warming up to with this idea is how just about everything boils down to using the single die, but in a way that's still got a lot of tools to play with.
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Now some cons. I'd done a LOT of work on the earlier system, and designed lots of spells, such as the Revision magic, Lethologica, a spell that allows the reroll of any one die in proximity, both supportively or debilitatingly. This was a lot more balanced when you were rolling 2-5 dice per throw, but a single die? Massively overpowered. I'd rather not upgrade the cost of what was essentially a cantrip to a fifth-level spell, so I'm going to have to figure out how I'd get to keep it and make it work still. One solution might be forcing the use of the d100, and having Lethologica alter the result by a number of points in either direction, being used to help sway results, but not effortlessly overturn them. It allows for spell scaling, with more mana converting to a greater degree of sway, and still allows sway in either direction, helping to save near-failures and fail near-saves.
Another issue is the case of Monstrous/Mini. When I changed RAR from being a 10-scale attribute system to a 5-scale, I was bothered by how I'd account for three-story giants, pixies, and small-world scenarios. I'd developed Monstrous and Mini, x5 and /5 multipliers for stats that helped to massively scale up or down the effects of 1-5 of any given attribute. So, a creature with Monstrous Strength 3 would multiply the results of their 3d10 roll by 2. Monstrous 2 Strength 4 would get (4d10 x 3). Boss monsters could still get trash rolls (2+3+1 x 2 is just 12, doable on 2d10) but still get high effects on average. Miniscule, on the other hand, reduces the character's Size by a stage, having them struggle to pick up thimbles and defend against ants. This complete overhaul of the core skill check resolution system doesn't have "10 = 1 success" anymore, so multiplying the results doesn't really work; not that it did, because it was slow, and unfun.
A solution for this is... a lookup table. Kind of. The actual value of each of the stats, 1-5, are actually still quite valid for establishing standards. If a creature has reasonable stats to do what they're looking to do, they should roll, no problem. If their stat is lacking, they suffer a -1 for every stage they're missing, and if they exceed, +1 for every stage they're over. But for Monstrous/Mini, like... maybe it's +/- 5 in each direction? And if Fail would get pushed off the board, it stays at 1, causing a chance for failure of 10%? I mean, engaging in a mental mindclash with an illithid SHOULD be next to impossible with their Monstrous Intelligence, but just the chance that they roll a 1 is probably more fun than "you literally just can't do it".
The question here is, if players who are generating their own creatures have a solid understanding of what Monstrous/Miniscule creatures are actually DO, without getting to experience them in action first. And, since the game actually IS narrative in nature, I don't see an issue with placing impossible monsters in front of players that they're not actually supposed to defeat, really. But it feels weird to not be multiplying the outcome of dice anymore.
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