#it's because your protocols kill every chance of potential intimacy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

psalmsofpsychosis · 6 months

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people that need the proper context and label for every single fucking thing in their lives and need it defined by Some Invisible Authority TM bore me to death. "this is the X space. X space rules state that X space is for doing Y and Z. Therefore in this space we do the assigned Y and Z functions and NOTHING ELSE, because that was not defined within the parameters of the space and IT'S INAPPROPRIATE." "this is a café; here you order coffee and food and do your job only make eye contact with people you've brought with you or keep to yourself" "this is a club, here you dance and drink alcohol and grind on strangers and suggest sex to people" "this is the supermarket; here you buy grocery and then go home" "this is the feminism circle; here you talk about women according to vague criteria and dont bring up anything else" what if i tell you that you can make a Barista's day brighter by pulling a baby duck out of your pucket and mimicking a duckie voice thanking them and wishing them a lovely day as they're registering your order? what if you debate Hegel's philosophy with someone in a club and you both find out that you've been trying for ages to look acceptable and well-within-the-shallow-lines and you dont have to? what if you go to the supermarket and a grandma asks you to tell them the name of earlier mentioned Duckie and you end up befriending a grandma that introduces you to the best 70s underground obscure psychedelic bands?

The point is, no space is truly defined to contain the full spectrum of spontaneous human expression. You cannot assign protocol behaviors to different "contexts" in a way that doesn't inherently diminish your humanity and kill you inside. the "Normalize blahblahblah—" you dont need normalization, you need your fucking personhood back. The context is you; you happen, other people happen, let yourself happen for fucks sake. "you can't chat a stranger up while you're both standing in line to get movie tickets" listen to me— their bag had a Batman and a Stitch keychain hanging from it, i wanted to tell them that i think Batman and Stitch would be best friends actually, in fact; i did! because here is the thing; i'm alive and i can show love when i feel it and i can do whatever the fuck i want. <3 I'm not gonna wait for some Almighty Invisible Authority TM voice to tell me which parts of my personality are green lighted for which artifically structured context, i'm a whole person, not a fucking puzzle, you dont get to tell me which parts of me do i pick out and leave outside the door as i enter a space. What dies within the inflexible bounds of "expected and appropriate behavior in expected and appropriate spaces" is the intelligent and exhilarating instinct of creativity and spontaneity, and you know what? not on me or my duckie's watch.

#the duckie is a hypothetical entity i dont have a duckie #but he was a necessary plot device for furthering the story's arc #anyway yeah. ''but this context doesn't give me permission—'' FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SHACKLES OF YOUR INVISIBLE OVERLORDS #YOU ARE YOUR OWN FUCKING PERMISSION #the permission-needing crowd would die if they had to live by the life choices i've made lmaooo good thing they dont have to #but honestly? live a little.#These socially sanctioned contexts wont save you from the inherent humiliation and freedom that comes with being utterly utterly human.#obiding by contextual rules wont protect you #from yours or other people's unbearably faulty and unimaginably endearing and hopeful expressions #i once told about a strange dream i had one night to a guy on tinder and he told me that ''my level of interactions are way beyond the scop #of a dating app'' and that ''this place is for hooking up and sexting''#and i told him that HE had decided that. it was HIS choice to keep to the preconceived arbotrary notions of what that specific chat window #was for. and it was also his choice #to remind me of The Rules to keep things superficial;#he chose that instead of risking to engage a sincere moment of intimacy #and y'all wonder why you never have meaningful friendships and relationships #it's because your protocols kill every chance of potential intimacy #on humanity

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keenress · 4 years

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Dreaming of you...

The first day in the office with Ressler was tensed, and as his recruit she felt like all eyes were on her, this case they were working on had so many twists and turns, she felt she could not keep up with.

They started early in the morning, as he picked her up from the University to take her to the Blacksite. They walked in his office where they were supposed to do all the work

,,I analysed all footages and evidence you gave me from the last scene..I know the place was clean, I would say way too clean, so I thought, maybe, I could compare evidence from the previous potential crime scenes...5 hotel rooms so far

,,What have you got in mind?

,,Well they all have something in common

,,What is that?

,,A bathroom, a bathtub(not a shower room)

,,Yes...

,,I know it sounds crazy, but what if all our bodies left the room through the sewage system?

,,To do that you need to first dissolve the bodies

,, Yes, I believe as we never thought of this, we should definitely check it out, it’s worth giving it a try

,,Good work, Keen

Then Liz saw Ressler taking a call, he mentioned something about taking out the bathtub for the last crime scene and check any possible traces of chemical substances, other than cleaning ones, on the drains

He then came closer to her and watched together trough all the evidence they had to find some more supportive information to back this new lead up.

[..she found his scent distracting, as she found herself closer to him and she was no expert , but generally a perfume can turn you on or off...and his, his was making her imagining things..’’his skin must smell really good with that scent on, imagine wearing his shirt on my naked body, being wrapped in that scent of his, or waking up next to him as he is wearing nothing, but that smell in a set of cold bed sheets]

When he was teaching at the University she always thought there were flames and sparks between the two of them, and ever since, her imagination would lit up in his presence...

Today she was slipping down on this imagination lane again, when suddenly awaken by a loud phone call.

He had to be somewhere, him and her partner investigating this drug dealer that was related to this new case they were working on, who had been released from prison because the witness that was suppose to turn him in had vanished mysteriously from Court in that same day.

They had a lead about an operation under the name of Lorca, guns and drugs involved, plus fake passport to leave the country, so this was their only chance to drain him for some intel over his protected killer

,,Would you like to come with us?

,, Yeah, sure thing

,, You will have to put your Kevlar vest on, I ll help you with that!

[..first time touching her, as he was adjusting the vest, made her body shiver, his fingers were sending electric shocks throughout her entire body, making her heart skip a beat]..

As they stepped into the Warehouse, where the exchange was due to happen he asked her to stay behind him at all times. The SWAT team was in place with Ressler coordinating everybody in their position

The next thing she knew, all Hell broke lose, and everybody was firing at everybody. This was her first raw field experience that she had, and she felt scared and unprotected

Her and Ressler were hiding behind a van when the bullets started flying towards them, literally drawing wholes into it like they were shooting at a piece of cardboard.

,,Get down, get down, Ressler shouted, so she threw herself on the floor. The next thing she saw was him throwing himself over her, grabbing her hands, and shielding her entire body with his, while sheltered glass and bullets were falling all over him.

His mouth was over her forehead , his lips touching it , his arms positioned on both sides protecting her head and his body was pressing hard over her. She felt breathless, but safe, a man she didn t know for long was protecting her with the cost of his own life.

Then the bullets stopped and she could hear ,, on your knees, arms behind you head, now..the SWAT team had taken over the warehouse and arrested the shooters.

She was in shock, the sound of the glass and bullets made her ears hurt and the smell made her dizzy . Ressler was still on top of her and slowly started to move his arms and body.

,,Are you ok, Keen talk to me, please, he sounded desperate..

His hands started touching her for injuries and blood, and as she managed to lift her heard up, he grabbed her face gently , but with desperate looks in his eyes.

,, I am ok, are you? she said with a shocked expression on her face.

Next she found herself in the sweet embrace of his arms and he was squeezing her like he was afraid of losing her

That’s how his partner found them both safe in each other’ s arms

,,That was so stupid of me to drag you into this without protection, you could have been killed, I am so sorry..

,,Yeah , but I didn t, because you protected me

,,Still, you could have...[ she could read the pain into his eyes]

,,I didn t, I m here, I am safe because of you

HALF HOUR later

Cooper ,,Agent Ressler, a word...

,, What the hell were you doing? How could you take a recruit from the Academy with you in the middle of the disaster that happened today. You broke all protocols, you could have had her killed and yourself too

,,I know, I am sorry Sir, it will never happen again

,,Sure as hell it won’t or I ll put you up for suspension...DISMISSED

He went back to her in the ambulance to check her out again

,, At least we got Lorca

,, Yes , but we nearly paid a bigger prize for it

,, It was worth it, Liz said

[..to me the only thing worthy today, he thought, was being able to feel you even under such horrendous circumstances being able to feel your skin on my lips, your perfume, your curves, that I have touched in the most intimate moments of my imagination, trapped under my roughness , you in my arms, SAFE, that is my victory for today].He said nothing, but his eyes were telling stories, stories of what he felt and what he was feeling for her.

He drove her home that night, after first going by the office to grab her stuff. As he parked in front of her apartment, he asked her again if she doesn t want to go to the hospital to get herself checked

,, I will come with you

,,No I am fine, I just want to go to bed, it has been a long day

,,Good night, he said!

,,Good night!

That night he dreamt of her, everything was so real, so genuine.. the clock was showing 9 o clock and the Post Office was slowly turning silent, Cooper was off and Samar and Aram left half an hour ago. He was sitting in his office, alone, studying some cases when she stormed in his office. Her looks was a combination of office and sexy, a black pencil dress embracing her curves perfectly with a long split on her left leg showing off a pair of black tights wrapping her fit, sexy pair of legs .She was also wearing a pair of high heels black shoes and a vibrant, seductive red lipstick, to match her daring outfit.. her hair was loose...

She stormed in without saying a word and pinned him in his chair with her longing looks. She came closer, pushing the chair back in the corner of the office.. slowly she started lifting her dress up, not enough to see her panties, but enough to make him swallow hard and throw her thirsty looks, She was ready to dominate him,so she parted her legs a little as she climbed over him to sit in his lap. Her legs wrapped in those beautiful black tights were incredible. He touched them looking at them first, then shifted his eyes to meet hers

She took his hand and started caressing her body , starting from her lips, going down on her neck, then mischievously held his hand longer before touching her breasts

He swallowed hard and bite his lower li which made her wanting to kiss him badly.. so she leaned over and sensually grabbed his chin and she clenched his top lip with her teeth and then his bottom.. he tried to pull her close to force her into a deep kiss, but she wouldn t take it, so she drew back

She carried on seducing him while she was touching herself with his hand on every curve of her body.. she carried on and on, while looking at him, his hands were on her legs feeling the heat of her body, as her blood was boiling in his veins

He tried to kiss her again, but she pushed him back, as she went to kiss and lick his neck, right there next to his ear, where his soft spot was.

Now she was getting closer to his mouth, wanting to reward him for letting her seduce him mercyless, boundryless with him not being able to do anything to her[..and the things he wanted to do to her..] The way he felt her burning lips getting closer and closer to his was the most seductive act he d ever experienced... she looked in his eyes first.. then her looks shifted to his lips devouring them

Their lips were burning as their tongues met one trying to dominate the other, one of his hand was on her back pulling her closer to him , while the other was grabbing her neck so that he could feed himself with the passion that was only growing between them. Her tongue in his mouth was sending vibrations through his entire body , making it harder to keep himself under control while playing this game.

He wanted her out of that little dress of hers, and with that in mind he started unzipping it.. his touch was electric, making her kissing him deeper while rubbing her body of his. He took the top part of her dress off and with gentle moves he started touching her skin up and down, up and down....

He then broke away from their kiss and effortlessly lifted her up forcing her to sit up face against the wall, lifting her hands up, one hand holding her hands upon the wall so she can t move them, while the other shifted her hair on one side so he can devour her neck fully with his tongue .He positioned himself closer to her and he could feel her bottom hitting his joints hard, so now he freed his hand so that he can explore again , this time her naked breasts, moving swiftly down there, in her intimacy, making her curve her back and bottom even harder against him

...It was so erotic and intense switching the poles so that the dominant became the dominated..she rested her head back lying it on his shoulder

,,Please...I beg....she said

,,Tell me....he said

Before she could say anything, the fine blurs of reality were intruding the intimacy of his dreams..and he was trying to chase the away so that he could.. he could....but his consciousness was stronger and he woke up with the sun rays caressing his face, all flushed, wet and hard with an immense desire to have her

#keenler #nomoreselfdoubtingishere #fanfictionkeenler #ilovekeenlerfans #keenlerthirsty

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