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#it's almost 3 am i've been working on this for 5 hours wow
emmet-appreciation · 2 years
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I decided to make a comic from this post because big bro Ingo is SO SWEET I LOVE HIM SO MUCH-
EDIT: I TOTALLY FORGOT TO DRAW A LIL HEART ON HIS SLEEVE IN THE LAST PANEL,,,, // he mentions doing that at the end of his event and I wanted to pay homage to that, haha-
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jpmarvel90 · 7 months
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Don't let me down - Part 8
Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7
Relationship: MamaScarlett x 16 yr old Reader
Summary: Jess meets Lizzie and Chris for the first time and the family get a surprise visit from Scarlett's lawyer, Danny.
Word count: 4728
Y/n's POV:
They're just normal people. It's what I've been telling myself for the last hour as I hide away in my room. Lizzie and Chris are coming over today and I'm really nervous. It's the one thing I've struggled with most since moving in with Scarlett. There are so many people that I need to be introduced to. Though I am grateful that she's not hiding me. She actively wants me to meet her family and friends. It shows that she really does want this.
Since moving in with Scarlett, I've gradually gotten more comfortable. My trust in her and Colin has grown so much. That pain I feel of being left, is slowly starting to fade away. Don't get me wrong, it's still there and I know there is still work in trusting Scarlett fully, but she has been doing all the right things. For the first time ever, I feel safe. I'm not waiting for her to snap and hurt me. This must be the normal childhood that people talk about!
The only thing with meeting Scarlett's friends, is that most of them are famous. It's very intimidating to be meeting people that you know are movie stars. Add the pressure of wanting to make a good impression, it's making my nerves become a little overwhelming.
"Sweetie, are you ready? They'll be here any minute." Scarlett asks me through my door. "I uh. Yeah. Just a minute." I respond, knowing that I can't hide away for much longer. "Ok, I'll be downstairs. Remember, this is all on your terms, if you're not comfortable, we can call it off and do it another day." She reminds me. Just like she has the last few days. But it would be rude to call it off now when they're almost here.
I grab my phone, hoping something might distract me there. Turns out I get my wish when I see a text from Laura waiting for me. A smile instantly creeps on my face as I open it up.
Laura ❤️ Have an amazing time today. Just be yourself and they are going to love you. I can't wait to hear all about it tomorrow. xxx
Seeing those words, gives me the confidence that I need. I quickly shoot her a text back and slip my phone into my back pocket. Taking a deep breath, I open my door and make my way downstairs where I can hear Rose excitedly greeting someone. As I round the corner, I see Rose hugging Lizzie tightly, whilst Chris is greeting Scarlett and Colin.
"Oh, you're here." Scarlett smiles widely when she sees me. "Sorry I wasn't here straight away." I apologise, but Scarlett waves me off. "No need to apologise. Now come meeting Lizzie and Chris." She says, taking my hand and pulling me towards the group. "Lizzie, Chris. This is my daughter Y/n." She introduces me with a proud smile on her face. Her hand let's go of mine and she moves it to rest on my back, providing me a comfort I didn't know I needed.
"Y/n, it's nice to finally meet you." Lizzie greets me once Rose let's her go. I can tell that she's unsure whether to hug me or not. I'm assuming Scarlett has mentioned a bit about my history and she's doesn't want to make me uncomfortable. Which I appreciate. "Wow you really do look like Scarlett." She whispers as she gets a good look at me. "Thankfully, you've been blessed with height." Chris jokes, earning a jab in the ribs from Scarlett. "What? It's the truth." He defends whilst holding his hand out to me. "It really is lovely to get to meet you." Chris says genuinely.
I take his hand easily and give it a firm shake. "Well, let's not stand in the hallway. You all get comfortable, and I'll get us all some drinks." Colin instructs with a clap of his hands. Rose takes Lizzie's hand and tugs her in the direction of the living room whilst Chris follows behind Scarlett and me.
We take up our seats on the sofa. Rose decides she wants to sit with Lizzie and Chris whilst I sit on the sofa with Scarlett. Cosmo is happily napping in his rocker next to me and I smile down at his cuteness. Rose takes the lead in socialising with our guests as she fills them in on everything that has happened recently. I'm grateful for it as it gives me a chance to relax and find my confidence.
"Are you ok honey?" Scarlett asks me quietly, not gaining attention from the others. I nod as confidently as I can. She reaches over and gives my hand a comforting squeeze. Colin is soon in with our drinks and a places a plate of cookies on the coffee table. This gets Rose's attention and she's soon distracted by the sweet goodness in front of her.
I take a sip of my coffee as a silence falls over the group. But it doesn't last for long until Lizzie speaks up. "So, have you lived in New York all your life?" She asks. I'm pretty sure I see Scarlett tense beside me at the question to my childhood. "Yes, I have. But I grew up in Brooklyn." I respond with a smile, showing Scarlett that the question hasn't bothered me. "So, the Upper East Side is a bit of a change." I add on with a chuckle. "I bet. I've been trying to convince her to relocate to Boston but with not luck." Chris jumps in. "Literally, my whole life is here. You're the only thing in Boston." Scarlett retorts. "All I'm hearing is the biggest reason to move." Chris jokes, earning an eye roll from Scarlett.
I like that Scarlett and Chris seem to have this sibling relationship. He's funny and I get the feeling he gets his kicks out of winding up Scarlett! "You went to college here, didn't you?" I ask Lizzie, hoping it doesn't sound too stalkerish. "That's right I did." She smiles widely. "I went to Tisch School of arts at NYU. I fell in love with the city and love coming back to visit." She responds. "She also spent a semester in Russia." Scarlett shares proudly. "Wow! That's amazing! I've never left the country before, let alone get anywhere near Europe." I reply, amazed she had that opportunity.
"Wait. You've never left the US?" Scarlett asks me shocked. "Nope, I don't even have a passport." I respond, but I frown when I notice the sad look on her face. "Well, that is going to chance. We'll go on holiday in the summer, and you can pick where we go." She decides. This gets Rose excited who now starts to ramble about all the places she wants to visit.
Conversation flows easily between us. Once I got over the fact, they are both famous, I found it easy to talk with them. They're funny and seem to be genuinely interested. "Y/n has been teaching me soccer." Rose tells them proudly. "I heard you play and are very good." Chris looks to me and I blush. I can't believe that Scarlett has talked about me so much. "I've just got a good team." I deflect. "That's a lie. Well, not entirely, her team is great. But Y/n is their star player. Seriously, she has some talent." Colin chimes in with a proud smile on his face.
"I think I should see a game whilst I'm here in New York. When is your next one?" Lizzie asks. Before I can answer, Scarlett is responding for me. "The next two games are away but in three weeks she's playing back here at her school." She answers, taking me by surprise that she knows it off by heart. "Well, I'm here for a couple of months so I will definitely be at your next home game!" Lizzie shares excitedly.
"Oh, you don't have to do that." I shake my head, not wanting her to go out of pity. "No, I want to. You're my niece now, so it's like a given." She smiles at me. "Niece?" I question. "She's auntie Lizzie!" Rose exclaims to me, and it seems to make sense. "And now you're my niece, we have to get a day in the diary where I can spoil you. When I visit, I always get a day with Rose, and we do everything she wants to. I'd like to do the same for you." She informs me. "Oh uh. Yeah, that would be lovely." I respond in shock.
"We'll need to find a weekend that you're not busy with soccer or your girlfriend." Lizzie smirks at me, making my cheeks instantly flush. I then move my head to Scarlett who's grinning. "You told her?!" I ask through embarrassment. "Of course, I did! You were so happy, and I was excited to share that." She defends. I want to be mad, but seeing how much she wants me to be happy and as a result how happy that makes her, I just can't.
"I'm sure I can find some time." I respond, hoping to move the topic on and not getting caught up in a conversation about my girlfriend. "Perfect. Give me your phone and I'll put my number in it." Lizzie instructs me, standing up and holding her hand out to me. I place my phone in her hand and watch slightly amazed that I'm getting Elizabeth Olsen's number!
She sends herself a text and adds my contact on her own phone. "I'll text you tomorrow when I've checked my schedule. We can arrange a date." She smiles at me. I get a warm feeling with Lizzie. She is really kind and just gives off this caring aura. "Well, now I feel left out. When I'm back in New York, I'm stealing you." Chris pouts, making us laugh. "In fact, how about to make up for it, we go out and play some soccer?" He asks. "Yes! I'm on Y/n's team!" Rose jumps up. "We'll work on dinner." Lizzie declines joining in. "I guess it's you and me buddy." Chris claps his hand on Colin's shoulder. "I think we can take them." Colin says confidently, making Scarlett scoff. "Course you can babe." Scarlett smirks, pressing a kiss to his cheek before Rose is ordering us outside.
"Oh wait!" I call after Rose, making her stop in her tracks. "I forgot I have something for you." I tell her, running off upstairs and grabbing the surprise from my backpack. When I get back downstairs, Rose is waiting patiently for me. I hand her the wrapped gift and her eyes go wide. "I spoke to coach and was able to pull a few strings." I say proudly as I watch Rose open the gift.
She is quick to tear the paper off and her eyes go wide when she see's what it is. "You go me a jersey?!" She squeals excitedly, unfolding the top and holding it in front of her. I had explained what I wanted to do to Coach Sanders and he help to put me in contact with the kit supplier. "Turn it around." I tell her and she is quick to follow my instructions. "It's got my name!" She shouts excitedly, showing Scarlett where it says Rose with the number 9 underneath, matching my own number.
"Wow, Y/n. This is amazing. You know you didn't have to do that?" Scarlett says to me, placing an arm around my shoulder as we watch Rose excitedly pull it over her head. "I know. But I wanted to do something special for Rose. I know this has been a big change in her life as well as my own. Getting her a shirt was something I could do." I explain.
When Scarlett doesn't reply, I turn to look at her and see she's already looking at me with glossy eyes. "You really are one special kid. Do you know that?" She tells, and I drop my head as my cheeks turn a red. "Thank you. You've made her week." She tells me, pressing a kiss to my head. "Come on sissy! Get your shirt too and we can match before we beat them." Rose says confidently. It makes us laugh whilst Chris and Colin look on in shock.
I do as I'm told and quickly put my own shirt on, though I hesitate when I see the name Y/l/n on the back. I run my fingers over it as my mind starts to over think. "I wish is said Johansson." I think to myself, but quickly shake my head. Maybe I am starting to see Scarlett as my mother. The more I think about it, I want this to be my family. I feel safe and loved here. Something I didn't think I'd get in life. Maybe, I need to let it happen. I can either hold on to the past and always hold a grudge against Scarlett. Or I can see that she is doing everything she can to make things right and allow her to be the mother she desperately want to be for me and the one I've so desperately needed.
Scarlett's POV:
Lizzie and I work on dinner whilst the kids are outside playing soccer. I find my gaze constantly wandering to the window to watch them playing. They all look so happy and seeing Y/n and Rose in matching shirts is so cute. I obviously made them pose for a load of photos, which they both ended up complaining at and I froze for a moment when I noticed how alike the two of them were in that moment.
I couldn't believe that Y/n went to all that effort to get Rose a top. Rose would have understood that the tops are for the players and that she couldn't have one. But Y/n made sure she got what she wanted. Rose's face lit up when she saw it and I have a feeling she's going to be wearing it all the time now.
I've adored watching their relationship grow. Y/n is so patient with Rose and always makes time for her. Considering she's 16 she could easily be hidden away in her room, but she makes the effort with both Rose and Cosmo. Getting to see my three kids altogether is everything I could ask for and I am forever thanking the Gods for allowing Y/n back in my life and giving me a chance to make things right.
"You know, I thought you were exaggerating a little when you talked about Y/n. But she really is as sweet and caring as you said." Lizzie breaks my trail of thought with her observations on my daughter. "After everything that she has been through, she has every right to hate the world, but she has so much love and goodness to give." I share, making Lizzie stop in her actions.
"You'd never know she'd experienced so much pain to look at her. I barely know her, and I want to throttle the people that hurt her." She says, a look of anger on her face. "You have to include me on that list." I admit ashamed. "Scar no." Lizzie tries to deny but I shake my head. "None of it would have happened had I not made a selfish decision 16 years ago." I say, focusing on cutting the carrots in front of me.
"You had no idea what she would end up going through. It was a horrible situation where a group of people decided they wanted to manipulate the system. You trusted she would be safe." She tries to comfort me whilst I fight back tears. "I can never forgive myself for it Lizzie. How can I ever expect her to do so." I ask her the question that has been plaguing my mind.
She reaches over and places her hands over my own, stopping my actions. She then turns my body so I'm looking out the window, her hands on my shoulders. "You are doing right by that girl now. Look at her and see the happiness. You can see it is genuine. Yes, there is pain within her, but she's healing. You need to heal yourself so you can live in the future and not get lost in the past. It's the way that you can best make things right with her. Focus on your future together as a family." She shares her words of wisdom.
As she finishes speaking, Rose scores a goal and her and Y/n celebrate together. Y/n lifts Rose into the air, cheering loudly. She's right, I can see that she is healing. She has come so far from that night we brought her home with us. I need to focus on keeping that smile on her face and not allowing my own insecurities to ruin this.
"You're right Liz." I admit. "I know. I'm always right." She sasses, making me laugh. "Ever the humble one." I chuckle. "Just remember that I'm here for you whenever you need me." She says, placing a kiss to my head and returning to the pot on the stove.
Just as we're finishing up dinner, the four of them come into the house, all laughing and smiling. "So, who won?" Lizzie asks. "That's not even a question." I jump in. "Oh, did the boys win?" Lizzie pouts at Rose as she comes in. "No! We kicked their butt!" Rose cheers triumphantly, high fiving Y/n. "I feel cheated. You said she was talented, but you didn't say she was as good as Messi." Chris complained, but a smile was still on his face.
"Oh, I know. Both of my girls are talented, and I had no doubt they would win. I think that calls for extra desert for the winners." I declare, earning another cheer from Y/n and Rose. "We'll go and get cleaned up and then come and help lay the table." Y/n says, taking Rose's hand and leading her upstairs.
"She's well trained." Chris jokes, but it makes me falter. "Sorry, did I say something wrong?" He asks when he notices the change in my demeanour. "With her adoptive parents she was always expected do everything around the house. If she didn't, she would get punished. We've been trying to show her that she doesn't need to do that here, but it's been hard to get the habit out of her." Colin explains for me.
It's been a sore spot for me. I always see the slight fear or doubt in Y/n's eyes if she doesn't do something straightaway or she feels like she should be doing something I've done. Like lay the table or clean up. I'll never forget in her first weeks here she fell into a panic attack when Colin started cleaning up before she could. She just kept saying sorry and that she will do it and we don't need to punish her. It was horrible to watch. Since then, we've both made the effort to show her that there isn't an expectation like that for her here.
Thankfully, the awkwardness doesn't last, and we focus on getting dinner served up whilst Colin wakes Cosmo and gets his own dinner ready. The girls are down shortly after and go straight to the draws to get cutlery for us all. With the table laid, Lizzie and I bring out the food and invite everyone to sit.
It's a lovely evening and I can see that Y/n has become more comfortable around Lizzie and Chris. I was right that Lizzie would take to her and want to be her bestie. She's asking lots of questions about her relationship and it's funny seeing how shy Y/n gets about it all. She's so adorable!
When it came time for Lizzie and Chris to leave, there was a lot of pouting from Rose, though Lizzie reminded her about their day together next week. She then moves her attention to my eldest. "I'll text you tomorrow to arrange our own day." She reminds Y/n who nods. "Can I hug you?" Lizzie asks tentatively.
I had noticed how she held off when she first met Y/n. I could see she was dying to wrap her in a hug, but she was being respectful and didn't push Y/n's boundaries. Lizzie is a hugger, and I knew it was a struggle for her to hold back but I'm very grateful that she was so understanding. "Of course you can." Y/n responds, opening her arms. "Yay!" Lizzie lets out a quiet cheer and practically barrels Y/n over, making her laugh.
"It really was lovely to meet you Y/n. I can't wait to get to know you even more. You'll be sick of me in no time." Lizzie jokes as she finally let's Y/n go. "It was great meeting you too. I can see why Scarlett likes you so much." She compliments. "Aw, you like me?" Lizzie teases. "You're going to pay for telling her that kid." I joke. "Some payback for everything with Laura." She quickly retorts, making me gasp. "You've gotten sassy." I smirk.
"Before you embarrass your daughter anymore, I'm going to sneak right in here." Chris says, standing between us, a hesitant look on his face. "You can have a hug too." Y/n laughs. Chris doesn't need telling twice and wraps her in a bear hug. "Hmm, you're a good hugger." Y/n smiles contently into their hug. "Thanks. I aim to please." Chris responds, giving her one last squeeze and letting her go. "When I'm back in New York, I'm coming to one of your games. I can't wait to see you in action." He tells her before moving to say goodbye to Rose.
We watch as they get into Lizzie's car and all wave them off from the door. Colin being the adorable goof he is and waving Cosmo's hand to them. With the door closed, I see Y/n let out a breath. "Was that ok? They weren't too much were they?" I ask her, a little worried. But my concerns are eased when she shakes her head. "They were not what I was expecting." She admits, sitting on the sofa.
I smile as Rose crawls next to her and she instinctively wraps a protective arm around her and pulls her into a cuddle. "They're both big kids aren't they." Y/n shares her observation making both Colin and I laugh. "You're right there!" Colin agrees. "I like them." She states simply and it makes me happy to know that it went ok. I know there are more of my close friends she's too meet, but I'm confident she'll be able to take it in her stride.
We decide to have a quiet evening and watch a movie together, though the silence is broken by a knock at the door. I get up to answer it but I'm surprised when I see Danny at the door. "Hi Scarlett, I'm sorry for coming by so late, but I wanted to share this with you as soon as I could." He greets me. I let him in as nerves start to take over.
"No problem, Danny, you're always welcome here." I respond, trying to hide my nerves. "Is Y/n here, it concerns her too." He asks. I nod and lead him into the living room. "Rosie, how about you take Cosmo into the playroom?" I suggest, knowing that we're about to have an adult conversation. She agrees easily and carefully picks up her little brother and disappears to the room next door. I switch on the monitor we have in there so I can keep an eye on them.
"Hi Danny, is everything ok?" Y/n asks, a worried look appearing on her face. I take a seat next to her and hold her hand in mine. I have no idea what he's about to share, but I have a feeling she is going to need some comfort. Colin senses this too and takes the seat the other side of her.
"I had a call this evening. Mr Woodstock had his arraignment hearing this afternoon. The state has brought a number of charges against him, but he has pleaded not guilty." As Danny shares the news, I watch as all colour drains from Y/n's face. I wrap my arm around her, and she melts into my touch, trying to gain any comfort that she can. "What does that mean?" Colin asks, the only one of the three of us with any composure.
"It will go to a jury trial. The state will build a case against him with evidence and witness testimony." He responds. "And by witness testimony you mean Y/n." I speak up, holding Y/n closer as fear builds in her eyes. "Yes, the DA has contacted me about arranging a meeting for you to talk with them. As the oldest of the children at the home, your testimony will be the most valuable." He says with a look of sympathy on his face.
"I can speak with the DA, and we can put in a request for Y/n to do it via video link, so she doesn't need to be in the same room as him. It's important that you are as comfortable as possible in this situation." Danny now directs to Y/n who is trembling slightly in my arms. She starts shaking her head and I'm sure she's about to outright deny the request.
"No. I want to be there." She declines, taking us all by surprise. "Sweetie, you don't have to." I try to reason with her, but she cuts me off. "I don't want him to think I'm scared of him. He'll think he's won. I want to look him in the eye. Had I spoken up sooner, I could have stopped him hurting the other kids too." She explains as tears start to fall down her cheeks. "Y/n, that was not your responsibility. You are just a kid and were doing your best to survive. There is no blame on you in any of this. Do you understand." Danny says firmly, his gaze never leaving Y/n's. "You were brave to step forward when you did, and we'll be by your side when you testify. But you don't have to put yourself in an uncomfortable position because you believe you have something to prove." He adds on.
I'm not comfortable with her going to a courtroom and testifying in front of the monster that hurt her. But I will support whatever decision she makes. This isn't something that I can decide for her, but it is something I must show unwavering support to. She looks to me and I give her a soft smile. "It's your choice my love. If you want to go to the courtroom, the both of us will be by your side." I reassure her. Colin places his own arm around Y/n for additional comfort as she thinks over her options.
"No, I want to be there in person. I want to show him that despite what he did, I'm happy now. I'm safe and in a home where I'm loved. Something he never wanted for us." She states confidently. I'm full of pride for my daughter. Sometimes I forget that she's only 16. Her maturity is something I marvel at.
"Ok Y/n. I'll speak with DA, and we can have our initial discussions. They'll be able to provide further information on if it will be a statement or an examination of testimony." Danny says, making my mind panic. If she is cross examined, his lawyer is probably going to do everything that he can to discredit Y/n, make her seem like a liar. That won't be any good for her mentally. "I promise you Y/n, that I will help you with everything. When you go in that courtroom, you'll be prepared for every possible scenario." Danny smiles at her. She gives a tentative smile back as he decides to leave us be, with a promise he'll be in touch tomorrow.
Colin sees him out as I just hold Y/n in my arms. I do everything in my power to comfort her in this moment. "It's ok my sweet girl. I know this is going to be tough, but you have us and we're not going anywhere. You are not alone."
Part 9
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dilf-in-peril · 2 months
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20 Questions for Writers
tagged by: @grand-magnificent thx :3
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
163.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
450,140
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Professional wrestling right now, obviously, which for the rest of the questions I pretend is the only thing I write to stay on brand. I also still write the occasional fic for my old fandoms or films you've never heard of, partcipating in exchanges makes you write a lot of random stuff.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Just giving you the ones for Wrestling:
Kayfabe (missing that old man hours, kayfabe breaking cmjf)
Top Guys. In. (cmftr DP)
He Gets Papi (rhea/dom pissfic) - wow that one's got a long tail huh?
Welcome to the BCC (yutamox hole initiation ceremony)
Making Amends (punk asks HHH politely to be allowed back into wwe)
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes. I rarely ever have anything to say in response unless it's a question and I feel silly when I say "thank you for noticing what I tried to put down" but I like to let people know I appreciate their comments, because I very much do.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably that CMJF noncon fic which had everyone miserable and worse by the end of it. Also all of the PunkRaven stuff, which never has much of an improvement of the situation in sight.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
idk, I don't write a lot of longfic anyway and I think most of the PWP stuff that's not super messed up ends with people showering together or falling asleep next to each other which is a pretty happy ending as far as sex goes.... oh wait, it's the HHH fic where Punk implicitly returns to WWE for his efforts (I guess here too it is up to the reader whether this is a happy ending or more of a "came back wrong")
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Only once for the underage cmjf fic, and I think it was the same person grand-magnificent mentions ironically. Maybe it helps that the kind of wrestling fans that I can see being haters have been condemned to writing incest fic so they don't have much ground to stand on.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yeah. All of it. I also actively hate writing it most of the time. I enjoy writing mood, tension, the build and the aftermath but not much of the actual in and out.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Don't think I ever have, no. I never got the appeal of "what if Goku met Superman" and I am clearly not funny enough to pull of something like WWE meets Succession.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yeah but not Wrestling fandom, it was Dune.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope. Actually, if you want to do that, hit me up.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
All-time ship is a bit wild if I've only been writing this fandom for a little over a year but it's PunkJoe. This bad boy can fit so much love. And kink. And H/C.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Hey now, mind your words.
16. What are your writing strengths?
People have told me it's physical sensations, descriptions that give a visual image even if you've got a bit of the old aphantasia, and discomfort.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Dialogue. Introspection. Writing out feelings. Not using the same words all the fucking time.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
idk... don't, unless you speak the language or have a beta that does? I guess now it's easy to just google translate it as a reader but with older literature it always throws me out... am I supposed to just speak latin and french to get what you're having your characters say?
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Harry Potter like almost two decades ago.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
I am still very proud of the Smoke and Mirrors PunkRaven fic. I could probably improve it a bit now that I actually have access to the whole feud and learned more about them but it's surprisingly on point just from my gut feelings.
tagging: @doctorworm @glamrocktrash @tache-noire and everyone else I have ever interacted with on ao3 and forgotten about right now
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spurious · 1 year
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some mcshep fic recs
So ever since I answered that ask from Mer about McShep fic recs, I've been thinking about posting more recs. I have been reading, like, so much fic because there just...is so much fic out there? As I intimated in the answer to that last ask, I am...not used to this amount of fic. The last ship I seriously read and wrote fic for has 58 English-language works on AO3, 17 of which were written by me (and another large handful of which were written for me lmao), so it's, uh, kind of amazing to just be able to read and read and read and read and...still have more?
I've been using my AO3 bookmarks, but sometimes bookmarking is simply not enough and you need to scream at people about the things you have read. So, without further ado...let me scream at you about the things I have read!
-
1) 264 Hours by Lenore | ~6k, rated E
Set after Seige. The battle is over, except in Rodney's mind.
This one is just some nice Rodney emotional pain content; he’s fucked up over the events of the siege and John is trying, in his opaque Sheppardian way, to help, but it takes a perceptive sex worker and a confrontation to really get through to Rodney. I liked where this went but I almost wanted it to be longer and really draw things out? For the Suffering I guess lmao
2) Long Long Road by Telesilla & padawanhilary | (series) ~50k, rated E
While shopping, two college students run into each other. Literally.
This is an AU (that converges to canon eventually), where John and Rodney meet while at Stanford and find a mutual enjoyment of both each other and kinky sex. There are two branching endings, both of which end happily, the sex is really very very hot and good, and overall there's something that I just find extremely...cozy? About this series? I've read it twice now and I just find it nice and comforting and enjoyable.
3) Sheppard’s Law by Speranza | ~35k, rated E
"Weird? You don't know what weird is. Weird is being in a-- with the-- and the crazy alien--" He stopped, incoherent, hands flailing. "And then your best friend is twelve, and you're his piano teacher. That--now, you're talking weird!"
Honestly the idea of me in the year of our lord two thousand twenty three reccing McShep fic written by Speranza is like...asking someone who likes pizza if they've ever tried pepperoni lmao. NEVERTHELESS. I've now read this fic twice. The first time I thought it was good, but for whatever reason it didn't make that big of an impression on me? I have a feeling it's one of the ones I read before we finished the series when I was trying to find stuff that didn't spoil later season events? So anyway I just sort of randomly decided to reread it recently, and it really wowed me on a second go-round. I think the big-ness of it can be hard to wrap your head around, but when you do it's like...you feel both full and hollowed-out by it at the same time, because it's huge but it's also a collection of these snapshots and small moments that make up the whole. Idk it's just...it's good ok, read it if you haven't!
4) Ritual by lamardeuse | ~5k, rated T
The history of a ritual.
Beer 👏 on 👏 the 👏 pier 👏 As a team ritual, as the story of John’s love for Rodney, and as a beautiful coda to the shrine. John's POV in this is so gorgeously done, the way he's convinced himself of what he can and cannot have and is trying to deal with it the best way he can, even when it's immensely painful. I also like how Jennifer's part in things is handled in this, in terms of her reaction to Rodney's profession of love and how it stacks up against...literally everything else that happens in that episode.
5) Dumbstruck by sgamadison & the_cephalopod | ~30k, rated E
His existence, as he remembered it, began eleven days ago. He knew the word day was what to call the cycle between a single span of sunlight and darkness, but he could not remember what groupings of days were called. He didn't think it mattered much.
Due to...shenanigans, John loses his memories and becomes unable to speak. The thing I really love about this is how well Rodney knows John; how even when John can't speak for himself, Rodney clearly has this mental catalogue of Sheppard Expressions and he can deftly read and describe them. It's just...it's nice.
-
Anyway, I'm thinking I might make this a regular thing. I like talking about fics I like!!! Send me an ask or whatever if you have types of recs you want to see? Idk?
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Text
LITA Ep. 4 Rewatch Thoughts Pt. 3
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Ok Rain, you and I both know you didn't sleep through this honey
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Phayu looks unconvinced as well lmao - do you see this eyebrow raise?
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Slightly controversial opinion, but I actually love that I occasionally hear fabric rustling and other mic interference. It adds a messy and fun element to the scenes that make them feel more real to me. Here, we heard what is probably Phayu's shirt slide against the mic as he leans into Rain.
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The first time I watched this, I had to pause and raise my eyebrows ngl. Supremely unprepared for this relatively simple sequence and in the end highkey felt like I got slapped in the face (but in a funny way).
Boss looks so intense and good here
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Taking it from the top
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down
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down
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down
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(including this shot bc wow Boss has big hands)
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and...
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(we just got to the halfway point y'all... whew)
I've never heard of this seduction technique before. Phayu, you might be the only one this works on (I feel seduced but not in a sexy way, more like if I was a cat I'd make biscuits on Rain's tummy)
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I don't have a whole lot of commentary on this part aside from they're both adorable and I love the way Phayu likes to drag Rain physically closer to him whenever they talk. I think physical touch is really important to Phayu and I love how Rain basically preens under the attention every time Phayu touches him
I have literally seen this 12 times. Every time I'm like OMFG THEY ARE ABOUT TO KISSSSSSSS
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But NO, freaking P' Saifah couldn't wait outside for one more minute. At least he has the decency to give them a countdown do-over. Phayu looks like he considering the merits of ending his twin while Rain is just distressed. I love how they framed these shots of P' Saifah with his body physically dividing the screen between Phayu and Rain's faces which are blurry in the background. This drama uses physical blocking very creatively in my opinion.
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P' Saifah I'm going to reach through the nth dimension just to SHAKE YOU I mean seriously how could you not see Phayu and Rain were having a MOMENT
But it does lead to this stellar headpat so I'm not too mad (the 7th one in the series, if I'm not mistaken), plus Rain's praise kink gets activated (seriously, just watch him reminisce about the headpat that just happened)
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AHHHH Rain looks SO HAPPY to see that Phayu wrote him a lil note and helped him out - I mean it's no wonder Phayu would bend over backwards just to put that expression on Rain's face from here on out
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Including this shot to praise the lighting directors bc it's beautiful, as is our hard at work Rain
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I think it could have been really cool if they had Rain use his lucky triangle ruler thing (that Phayu gave him) here, bc that would have been an extra layer of symbolism. I think if they were going to include it as a serendipitous plot point, it would have been better to introduce it this way rather than stick it in a glass case.
GOOD WORK BBY!!! Your reward comes later though
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AND the first thing he thinks of after is...
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LOOK at him being a responsible student! He's only got two left and then he's doneeeeee (unlike me, I still have so much to do lmao and yet here I am) - (OK I wrote this earlier part two days ago and at the time of writing this sentence I am DONEEE so me *join hands emoji* Rain: done with finals)
My plans for the next 48 hours:
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Except this boy gets revived at the thought of seeing his pseudo-bf and runs immediately bolts out of bed 2 seconds later. Ngl if I had a Phayu I'd probably do the same, but since I'm a single pringle it's just me and my clean sheets
Ok, now where have we seen almost this exact color combo before?? Mayhaps you can scroll up a couple pictures...
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Basically, I think this is the production crew's way of telling you Rain's about to get smooched by Phayu. Also Rain's changed clothes from the previous scene so he really cleaned up to go to the garage awww
I love that Rain tells himself he should be using this time to sleep, then shrugs at himself and goes to Phayu anyway. Priorities, priorities
Yay, P' Saifah is here to guide Rain to Phayu!! The in-laws are getting a lot of interaction these days hehe. Also look at how eager Rain looks here - full on puppy mode (I met a cockapoo puppy named Molly today so I know my comparison is accurate)
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I like that P' Saifah is talking Phayu up to Rain - not that Rain needs any more convincing that Phayu is the coolest mechanic ever. It's the thought that counts though.
For some reason, this shot of Rain and this shot of Phayu make me laugh. Rain's just standing there like some guy when we all know he's thee guy and Phayu is making the "this is so sus" face
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The interaction between the three of them right after is so funnyyy - my favorite part is P' Saifah calling his big bro out - this is prime younger sibling behavior. Also Phayu pretending to be a grump - he's just kiss deprived is all (that problem is about to be solved tho)
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I also like how I though Rain was going to be the possessive one but Phayu is out here with raised hackles even though P' Saifah is just being friendly to press his buttons (again, prime little sibling behavior). Please observe how pleased Rain looks about this though!
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Me + P' Saifah: Phayu you're a SIMP
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Ok I like that they included this shot of PhayuRain for no discernable reason (bc it cuts to them walking over to the other part of the garage right after it) other than to show us Phayu looking at Rain fondly with his eyebrows raised
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I also love how Rain immediately reports that his work is done (likely so he could get praised) but then Phayu counters with "did you sleep?" to which the answer is no. Rain's like "ahhh we can't win with this one uff" (don't worry bff, your reward is en route)
On to part 4!! I'm hoping it's the last one or none of you are gonna want to read it (this is a lie, there are 5 parts bc I have no self control when it comes to taking screenshots of PhayuRain)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
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queenmiarys · 7 months
Text
The Royal Romance none Royal
Mini series: through hell and back
Face claims: Elyse Dufour as Olivia Nevrakis, Steven Strait as Anton Severus
Synopsis: Olivia falls in love with a successful businessman, everything not  as perfect it seems. 
Pairing: Olivia and Anton for now.
Rated M 
Warning: some chapters will contain domestic violence, Emotional abuse, NSFW (lemon) , 18+ Only
Most characters belong to Pixelberry , Amelia Rys, Juliana Beaumont belong to me.
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Song inspiration : hell and back. 
Part 1: First impressions
It  was 5 am. Olivia hit her alarm and jumped out of bed "Ki,  are you going to work out with me today?"
"OMG, Liv really it's 5am." She says barely woke good, she barely opened one eye to check her phone 
"It's the best time." Olivia said. 
Kiara turned back over and covered her head with her blanket. "Get up ki, you've been begging me to start helping you to get in better shape,  so get  your lazy butt up, I'll give you 5 seconds.
"Oh God really Liv?"
I have my ice cold water ready, don't make me use it."
They got to  Piedmont park, and worked out for a good hour.
"Can we please go home?"
"Come on ki, to look this good you gotta put in effort, besides I know you have your eyes on a certain someone." She said with a wink. 
"Hmmm and who is this someone?"
"Really ki, don't think I haven't noticed your eyeing our new neighbor across the hall from us, I saw you checking her out."
Kiara rolled her eyes."I'm not even sure if I'm into girls or just sick of men."
"Ki, you'll figure it out you're only 20 in a few months, how about one more lap around and I'll treat us to a non fat Latte."
"You should start with a latte, but I need food,  that blueberry smoothie gone."
As they came around the last lap,Kiara noticed a man sitting watching them "Liv, I believe one of us has an admirer."
The man noticed they caught him staring, he placed his glasses on and walked over. "Hello beautiful ladies, sorry for just staring at you it's just rare to see someone so natural these days.
"I'm Kiara and this is Olivia." Olivia nudge her side, giving her an annoyed look.
"Well it's nice to meet you Olivia." He said as he brushed his lips across the back of her hand. "I know you don't know me but I would love it if you had dinner with me sometime, here's my number if you need some time to think about it."
"Ki, come on let's go." 
Once they made it to Olivia's car Kiara looked at her in disbelief. "Really Liv, you haven't been out in almost 3 years, look I know you loved or still love Drake, but just giving up is not the answer, you are only 20, and that guy is totally handsome and into you, at least consider it you deserve one night to be treated like a queen."
Later in the week. 
Liv placed the paper with Anton's number on top of her desk, asking herself should she actually give him a chance. It was now Thursday and it had been 4 days.
She picked up the paper, staring at it for a while before finally deciding to call him. 
"You reached Anton, sorry I've missed your call, please leave a short detailed message at the tone and I'll return your call as soon as possible, And as always have a wonderful day." 
She hung up, and laid across her bed. 
3 Hours later. Olivia was half asleep when she heard her phone go off, Good Afternoon this Anton with tech support. How may I help you today?"
He immediately recognized her voice. "I'm so sorry I have my cell connected  to my work phone, just in case someone runs into problems and they transfer them to me."
"So what do you do?" 
She could hear him  yarning through the phone. "I'm the CEO of world tech, my family owns it."
'Wait you're Anton Severus?' 
"That would be me, wait you heard of me,?" She could hear him smiling against the phone."
"My father owns PC tech, I have an upcoming meeting with you next week to explain our brand.'
" Oh wow, I can't believe I didn't recognize your name, but I gotta be honest I expected Mrs.Nevrakis
She became quiet for a moment, and charged the subject, her mom died of stage 2 lung cancer, five days before her 12th birthday. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean to upset you, are you still there 
"Yes I'm here, it's okay my mom passed away a long time ago and you didn't know." 
"Again I apologize."
He yawned again. "Olivia I'm glad you called me, I would love to take you out sometimes, is that something you would like?" 
\
"Okay I'll love too."
"Perfect, send your address and I'll pick you up Saturday evening around 7, is that okay?"
"How about we meet up, I'm still getting to know you Mr. Severus, just in case you turn out to be some psychopath I will have a way home." Olivia joked.
He didn't say anything for a minute. " Very well then, I'm just glad you accepted my invitation." He yawned again. ..
"Good night, it sounds like someone needs to rest."
"You're right, I do, been up since 5 am."
"Wow, please go get some rest." They hung up and she turned to see Kiara standing in the door." How long have you been there?
"Long enough to know that you finally decided to call him." 
She threw a pillow at her. "I know when I'm not wanted. Kiara said while sticking her tongue out making a silly face. 
"Ki, wait since you're all up in my business, what about you, have you introduced yourself to the girl next door?"
"No, I haven't even seen her again." 
"Come with me Ki?"
"And just where are we going?" 
"To meet her, she's been here nearly 2 weeks now."
They stepped out in the hallway and walked to the women's door and knocked on the woman door. 
"Be there in a second." The woman called out. Once she opened the door wearing a yellow and white sundress. Kiara ran her eyes up and down her body sending chills down her body
She noticed Kiara checking her out and blushed. " Sorry to interrupt your day, we live across the hall and just wanted to meet you." Olivia spoke.
"That was so sweet of you to do, I'm Hana Lee nice to meet you, and you are?" 
"I'm Olivia and this is Kiara."
"Would you like to come in?" 
"Maybe another time, for me at least but perhaps Kiara might want to stay, I have an early day tomorrow. She nudged her side
—----------------------------
Saturday evening.
Olivia had got home and showered and changed into a sexy black and red dress, on que Anton texted the address,at the same time phone rong. 
"Hello?" Hey Liam, how are you?"  you want to meet Sunday?" Okay I'll be there." 
Another call came through. "Max what's up?"
"A little bird told me you have a hot date tonight." 
"Damn ki, she mumbled under her breath."It's just dinner 
"I'm happy for you, that you're getting back out there, for a minute there I thought I was going to sign you up for speed dating on tictoc  or something."  He laughed. 
"Max I'm a big girl, I can manage my own dating life." 
"Okay got it boss."
"Max it's after 7 let me get out of here, before he thinks I abandoned him." 
"Later Liv." 
It took her 20 minutes to arrive at the restaurant, it was a very  upscale Greek restaurant. 
"Good day Ma'am' I'll take your car and this gentleman will show you to your table Ms. Nevrakis
"Wait, how do you know my name?"
"Mr. Severus has brought out the entire restaurant for the evening for just the 2 of you." The man said
"Thank you." 
"Wow, fancy, all this for me?"
"What can I say, I really like you a lot Olivia." 
They sat and ate dinner and talked.
"So why did you buy this place for just the two of us?" She was curious.
"I take it you don't read teck today?" 
"No sorry, but I believe my father does 
"Well I was on the cover 6 months ago, I have strange women wanting to take pictures and to meet me. I have this one who asked me to marry her, even though I know nothing about her, so for your sake I didn't want them heckling you." He said with a smirk. 
"Wow, I'm really enjoying myself here."
.
"Did you believe you wouldn't?"
"Honestly I didn't know, I went on a date a few months back and had a terrible time." I was left fronting a $100.00 dinner bill this guy climbed to have lifted  his wallet at home."
" That, sob I'm sorry, that happened to you."
"Would you like dessert ?"
"Love some."
After leaving the restaurant Anton offered to follow Olivia to make sure she got home okay.
"That's okay, I'm fine we live in a safe neighborhood." 
"Please,  I won't feel comfortable leaving you alone, even though it's only 11:00
She let out a sigh. " Come on, you can follow me.
Once they got to her apartment, they stood at the front entrance. " Would you like to come in?
"Sure I would love it if it would get me more time with you." He said, smiling down at her.
Once they entered, they were greeted by the door man, in order to use the elevator you had to have a pass key or a guest pass key, they reached the 22nd floor, and walked to her apartment 2203. "How about we can watch a movie or we could talk some more." She said nervously.
"We could do that, I won't try anything,  you don't seem ready for right now, but do you mind if I kiss you?"
"I suppose that would be fine, and thank you for understanding." 
He didn't say much, they made out and found a movie on Netflix. Before they knew it they were both sound asleep on the sofa when Kiara returned home at 3am. 
Olivia heard a noise and quickly jumped up on her feet. "Who's there to speak now?
"It's just us Kiara peeped from the kitchen, followed by Hana.
"What the hell are you two doing at 3 am?"
"I was just showing her around, then we went to this new club about 3 blocks from here."
Kiara smiled. "I assumed you had a good time, you usually don't bring a date home."
They didn't hear Anton but he was standing in the doorway." I'm glad to hear that this type of thing isn't normal for you either." They all jumped at the sound of his voice.
",Hello again Kiara right?. And I don't know your name. 
"I'm Hana, the new neighbor across the hall. Nice to meet you, and you are?" 
"I'm Anton." 
"Olivia, I'm so sorry I fell asleep on you, but I must say that's the nicest sofa I ever slept on." 
They all laughed. Well it's 3:30, lucky I'm off the weekends but I would like to get home and get some rest."
Well I'd better too, get home myself, nice meeting you."
Olivia walked him out and Kiara walked Hana to her apartment.
Once Olivia made it back upstairs Kiara was waiting. 
"So how did your date really go?"
"Ki, nothing to tell, he was a gentleman the whole time." 
"How about you and Hana?" 
"That wasn't a date, besides I don't even know if she's that way yet." 
"Good night Ki, I need some sleep if I'm going to meet Liam and Mia later."
"Okay love you, night."
"Love you more."
@choicesficwriterscreations @kingliam2019 @kingliam2019 @kristinamae093 @yaniradolton @luvquit @harleybeaumont @twinkle-320 @twinkleallnight @queenrileyrose @storyofmychoices @dcbbw @bebepac @cordonian-literature @mom2000aggie @tessa-liam @queenjilian @shewillreadyou @honey358luv @yolandawalker @ao719 @alj4890 @angelasreblogs @aussiegurl1234
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just-my-type-x · 10 months
Text
Fuck It
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Based off this and this (it ended up longer because of the dialogue, so it's a short imagine rather than a quick blurb) @electricreadingphase
"You look stunning", Tris wows when he enters the room while i adjust my earrings. I let out a muffled giggle.
"It's nothing, i got ready in 15 minutes", i smile at him
"Really?", his eyes almost fall out of his head
"No", i laugh, "I've been redoing my makeup and choosing dresses for the past three hours. I'm exhausted. And i need a drink", i bend over to grab my purse from my bed, careful not to wrinkle my dress. I stand up and throw another glance at myself in the mirror, before catching Tris eyeing me up and down, lips slightly parted. I clear my throat as a hint of red appears on my cheekbones.
"Good thing you're having your graduation party", he gives me an awkward smile and i frown while exiting my bedroom, unable to understand his reaction
A few hours later, my feet finally call it quits because of the heels and the constant hours of dancing around with now my ex colleagues. I take a seat next to Tris, who's just exhausted as i am, tho he called it quits 5 songs ago. We exchange some laughs about our dance moves, now judging everyone around us.
"Thank you for being my date tonight. We're more than 60 girls in my year and not enough guys.", i give him a sincere smile and i squeeze his hand gently, which takes both of us by surprise. We quickly pull away our hands and my stomach drops at the fact that he really moved his hand away.
"And you're single too", he points out and takes a sip of his drink. I roll my eyes at his smirk
"No need to get personal", i pin him with my eyes as i take his glass out of his hand to serve myself with his drink of choice. His breath intensifies and i smirk to myself.
"Listen..", Tris starts but doesn't look at me. "I'm leaving for a while.", his eyes find mine and my smile quickly fades away. "We're going to Scotland to get some writing going, Con's grandparents have a farm and they gave us permission to turn it into a studio for as long as needed.", i nod, unable to understand why he's so serious about it all.
"Well, good luck to you guys, I'm sure it will help you come up with great songs", i pat him on the shoulder
"Yeah, thanks.", he looks away, shaking his head
***
Weeks go by and as much as i try to keep the friendship with Tris flowing, he seems unreachable, which pisses me off. Every three days the boys would facetime me and Kirstie, but no conversation would starts between Tris and I. We never fought or something, it didn't even seem like we're ignoring one another, it was just so annoying being around him, even if it was in virtual for.
3 months later, the boys are back in town, just in time to celebrate Kirstie's promotion at work. She rented out a foyer just outside London, where we all gathered to congratulate her.
I leave the foyer in need to get away from the boys, who seem to be way too agitated and loud, something i grew out of whilst not having them around for almost 6 months. I find a swing and sit on it, resting my forehead on the chain.
I raise my eyes when i hear rattling of leaves on the ground. I almost roll my eyes when i notice Tris' messy hair but i just straighten my back. He quietly sits down on the swing next to me.
"Why did you leave the foyer?", his voice is a bit raspy, maybe because of the continuous recording of songs. I scoff.
"Hi, I'm y/n, you must be?", i sarcastically extend my hand out in his direction. Tris grins at me.
"Alright, alright, i might deserve it", he shakes my hand in the end and i roll my eyes while standing up. "Don't leave", he stops me, standing up as well. "I'm sorry i didn't stay in touch with you. At first i was mad at you, then it became a habit"
"mad at me? About what?"
"Your graduation party. I told you i was going away for a few weeks and you had no problem with that."
"Tristan, you've been away for months, which i wouldn't had known unless i asked Kirstie. I was ready to prepare a meal for you when you came back", the raise of my voice was unnecessary. We both sigh and i turn around to walk away, but he stops me by catching my waist and glueing my back to his chest.
"I wanted you to come with me. I wanted you there because i couldn't go 2 days without seeing your face, but you were so ok with me leaving, that i had to give you space", he almost whispers in my ear, while i find it hard to swollow. "And i still feel the same", his voice even lower.
"So you're telling me this is your way of letting me know you feel something for me?", i snap back, eyeing him
"I didn't want to fuck up and lose you forever. I needed time away from you, especially when i saw you're not that affected by my departure", Tris raises his arms but lets them fall next to his body, defeated. "Whatever. I'll take the blame"
"You would never fuck up with me because i wouldn't let you". A shy smile creeps on his face.
"How come?"
"Tris, i want you too much to be mine rather than have you take a wrong decision and lose you for good", the words take me by surprise and i only realise the weigh of them when Tris closes the gap between us, his forehead on mine while his eyes don't leave mine.
"So, you're saying we should give it a try?", a smirk appears on my face when he asks that and all i can do is nod, my cheeks flushed. With a wide smile on his face, Tris kisses my lips hard, his hands on the small of my back.
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pesterloglog · 4 months
Text
Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley, Dave Strider
Act 5, page 2852
CCG RIGHT NOW opened memo on board FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY.
CCG: HEY FUTURE ME, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS EXPLODED JADEBOT BUSINESS?
CCG: MUST BE SOMETHING REALLY MISSION CRITICAL, OR JADE WOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED GETTING IN TOUCH WITH US, RIGHT?
CCG: SOMETHING IMPERATIVE TO OUR SURVIVAL NO DOUBT?
CCG: HEY DOUCHE BAG, ARE YOU THERE
??? gardenGnostic [?GG] AT ?:?? responded to memo.
?GG: oh jeez, why am i doing this
?GG: this is so stupid!
CCG: PIPE DOWN HARLEY, THIS PRACTICALLY DOESN'T EVEN CONCERN YOU AT THIS POINT
?GG: bluhhh youre so funny!!!!!
CCG: NOTHING TO SAY, FUTURE ME?
CCG: NOT EVEN A FEW PARTING WORDS OF SCORN FOR ME OR THE NARCOLEPTIC IDIOT?
CCG: IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE'VE SPARRED, HOW I'VE MISSED THE SWEET STING OF YOUR BARBS
?GG: are you enjoying yourself karkat?
CCG: HAHAHA YOU ARE SO DUMB YOU ACTUALLY THINK THIS IS A RUSE.
CCG: YOU'VE COME ALL THIS WAY AND YOU STILL DON'T GET THAT ALL THE SHIT WE'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT IS REAL.
CCG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE PULLING A STUNT LIKE THIS, WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.
CCG: I REALLY AM TALKING TO FUTURE ME, HE'S JUST BEING AN EVASIVE TOOL.
?GG: well obviously i know some things youve said are true
?GG: its just hard to take everything at face value when youre always so nasty!
CCG: YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY AMAZING HOW BEHIND THE TIMES YOU ARE.
CCG: IT'S ALMOST AS IF YOU'VE SLEPT THROUGH THIS WHOLE ADVENTURE
CCG: OH WAIT, THAT IS ESSENTIALLY TRUE.
CCG: IT WAS HILARIOUS WATCHING YOU GROW UP.
CCG: YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD ALL THE ANSWERS, FROLICKING ALL OVER YOUR ISLAND BEING INFURIATINGLY CHIPPER, BUILDING ROBO-BUNNIES LIKE A MORON AND ULTIMATELY RUINING EVERYTHING.
CCG: YOU WERE SO SURE YOUR DREAMS TOLD YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED TO KNOW.
CCG: AND NOW LOOK AT YOU
CCG: YOU SUDDENLY UNDERSTAND JACK SHIT.
?GG: ok i understand that you are another group of players and you are in some sort of trouble
?GG: but maybe if you had been nice to me instead of terrorizing me all those years i would have believed you
?GG: and we could have worked together to solve your problems as well as ours
?GG: it just makes me sad to think thats probably impossible now because you are so angry and stubborn!
CCG: DON'T TELL ME WHAT'S IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE I'M ANGRY AND STUBBORN.
CCG: I FUCKING KNOW WHAT THOSE ASSETS MAKE POSSIBLE.
CCG: THEY MADE YOU POSSIBLE, GOT IT???
?GG: uh huh
CCG: DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO BE GRACED BY MY DIVINE FURY?
CCG: TO HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF GETTING TO BE STUDIED AND MOCKED BY ME FOR YOUR WHOLE PATHETIC MISERABLE LIFE?
CCG: DO YOU REALIZE I'M YOUR GOD? YES, YOUR LITERAL GOD, THAT'S RIGHT.
?GG: sure karkat, whatever you say!
CCG: AND I HAVE TAKEN TIME OUT OF MY BUSY GODLY SCHEDULE TO SCRUTINIZE YOUR POINTLESS EXISTENCE.
CCG: OUT OF THE COUNTLESS TRILLIONS OF LIFE FORMS I BROUGHT INTO REALITY THROUGH ANGRY GRUBFUCK POWER ALONE, I HAVE SELECTED YOU FOR EXAMINATION AND HARASSMENT.
CCG: PERSONALLY I THINK THAT WARRANTS A LITTLE GRATITUDE, AND JUST MAYBE, A BIT OF DEFERENCE.
CCG: A CURTSY, PERHAPS?
CCG: BUT YEAH GO AHEAD AND KEEP BLOWING ME OFF LIKE THE FLAKEY LITTLE TWERP YOU ARE.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 3 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: HEY DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT YOU UNCOUTH PIECE OF SHIT.
FCG: THIS IS REFLECTING POORLY ON BOTH OF US, IT'S GODDAMNED EMBARRASSING.
CCG: OH WOW, ANOTHER MIRACLE.
CCG: IT MUST BE PERIGEES EVE, BECAUSE GET A LOAD OF THIS HUGE BEHEMOTH LEAVING THAT JUST GOT DRAGGED IN.
CCG: JADE, OUR DUTY IS CLEAR. WE MUST DECK THIS TURD TO THE NINES.
FCG: OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS A CLEVER THING TO SAY. WHAT A DIPSHIT.
?GG: aaauugh what the hell!!!
FCG: JADE, I'M SORRY ABOUT PAST ME'S RETARDED BEHAVIOR.
FCG: I'M NOT GOING TO DRAG OUT A HUGE APOLOGY OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I ALREADY APOLOGIZED IN AN EARLIER CONVERSATION, OK. I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.
CCG: GOD DAMMIT, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
CCG: I MEAN, AM I SERIOUS?????
CCG: WILL I BE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS SHIT. WILL I REALLY BACK DOWN LIKE A LIMP FRONDED STOOGE? PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING.
FCG: PLEASE, JUST
FCG: SHUT UP
FCG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER THOUGHT FUTURE ME WAS THE STUPID ONE
FCG: PAST ME IS THE DUMBEST BUCKET OF FESTERING DISCHARGE I EVER FELL ASS BACKWARDS INTO.
FCG: COME ON, YOU KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE. REMEMBER ALL THE PAST USSES WE USED TO TALK TO??
FCG: THEY WERE EVEN PASTER THAN YOU, AND THEREFORE DUMBER.
CCG: YEAH, I REMEMBER ALL THOSE DUMBSHIT PAST USSES, BUT THEY DON'T HOLD A FUCKING JACKASS CANDLE TO FUTURE USSES.
CCG: AND YOU'RE THE FUTUREST ME I EVER HAD THE CROTCH BLISTERING MISFORTUNE OF JAWING WITH, SO THE FUCKHEAD TROPHY GOES TO YOU.
CCG: I MEAN, MY GOD, WHY.
CCG: IS PROXIMITY TO THAT NASTY LOOKING SPACETIME RIP ON THE TIMELINE MESSING WITH YOUR HEAD?
CCG: IS THAT WHAT'S CAUSING YOU TO FEEL PITY FOR THIS IMBECILE?
FCG: LOOK, JADE'S NOT THAT BAD OK.
FCG: YOU JUST GOT TOO WORKED UP, AND YOU CAN'T SEE THAT.
FCG: AND NOW ALL THIS FROTHING PANDEMONIUM JUMPING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS JUST RIDICULOUS OVERCOMPENSATION FOR YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS AND MISTAKES, AND MASKING SOME FEELINGS YOU'RE NOT REALLY IN TOUCH WITH.
FCG: THIS IS ALL SO OBVIOUS, I'M FLUSHING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER IN EMBARRASSMENT HAVING TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU, AND EVEN WORSE, REMEMBERING HAVING IT EXPLAINED TO ME BY THE SMART ONE THREE HOURS AGO AND STILL ACTING LIKE A MOIST GLOBE EVEN AFTER BEING SO SOUNDLY SCHOOLFED.
CCG: I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE.
FCG: YOU SAID SO YOURSELF, WE DON'T JOKE AROUND. IT'S JUVENILE, REMEMBER.
CCG: I'M GOING TO VOMIT.
CCG: I'M MAKING A MENTAL NOTE TO SLAP MYSELF THREE HOURS FROM NOW, FOR BEING ENOUGH OF A SAP TO START DEVELOPING RED FEELINGS FOR A DUMB ANNOYING HUMAN, IF I'M READING BETWEEN THE LINES CORRECTLY.
FCG: I JUST SLAPPED MYSELF! I REMEMBERED MY LAME NOTE TO MYSELF FROM THREE HOURS AGO, AND THEN SLAPPED MYSELF SPECIFICALLY TO MOCK YOU.
FCG: IT STINGS TOO, YOU'LL FEEL IT IN A WHILE. AND THEN THE GHOST OF PAST ME WILL CRY.
FCG: PAST ME DOESN'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. HE'S A STUPID BAWLING WIGGLER PHANTOM. HE'S DEAD, NOT A REAL GUY ANYMORE, LIKE ME.
FCG: I'M THE REAL ONE. YOU'RE FAKE, A SHADOW OF A SAD MEMORY THAT PISSED ITS PANTS WHILE SCREAMING.
FCG: TIME TO DEAL WITH IT.
CCG banned FCG from responding to memo.
FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
FCG banned CCG from responding to memo.
CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.
?GG: i cant take this anymore!!!!!!!!
?GG: i dont even know what im reading here but its preposterous and ive had it!
?GG: i am just so angry, i cant believe i let you push me around all those years
?GG: you are completely out of your mind, i was too nice by just blocking you and typing frowny faces and stuff
?GG: i should have let you HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FCG: YES!!!!!
FCG: LET THIS FUCKER KNOW THE SCORE JADE. THIS IS HOW WE ROLL.
?GG: SHUT UP!!!!!!!
?GG: future karkat, if you really are future karkat......
?GG: where do you get off thinking you can just suddenly act like were pals because you said you apologized????
?GG: if you want to apologize then great i am all ears! but just mentioning it off hand and then yelling at yourself the same way you yell at me all the time as if i need a knight to come save me from yourself is so lame, not to mention completely insane
?GG: i cant even believe the things im typing here! this is so stupid, talking to two of you at once is the worst thing imaginable
?GG: you treat everyone horribly, even yourself, i cant even fathom how awful it is to be you
?GG: past karkat, youre acting like a bigger jerk than he is and i think you know that! why dont you take his advice and grow up
?GG: as if theres even a real difference between you two. three hours is hardly any time at all, you are the same person YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!
CCG: OH SHIT
FCG: YES, THAT WAS GREAT. WE BOTH HAD IT COMING, ESPECIALLY HIM. GREAT WORK JADE.
?GG: stop it!!!!
?GG: ugh, i dont know whats worse, jerk karkat or goofy sycophant karkat
?GG: i cant stand it, whether youre trying to be nice or just being a crazy asshole, you are just so weird!!!
?GG: im through humoring you, i dont even care about this stupid exploded robot mission, whatever that was
FCG: OH RIGHT, ABOUT THAT
FCG: YEAH WE NEED TO TALK
FCG: I MEAN WE HAVE ALREADY FROM MY PERSPECTIVE
FCG: BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE REALLY BUSY SOON, BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO ENTER YOUR SESSION
FCG: SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU DO, THEN JUST HIT ME UP, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT
?GG: hahaha, FAT CHANCE!!!!
FCG: LOOK I KNOW THINGS ARE WEIRD BETWEEN US RIGHT NOW AND YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD.
FCG: ESPECIALLY AT THAT LOSER.
FCG: BUT THINGS WILL CHANGE, IN TIME YOU'LL SEE I'M NOT QUITE SO AWFUL, OK?
??? turntechGodhead [?TG] AT ?:?? responded to memo.
?TG: ahahahahah oh god
?TG: dude i cant believe you were just getting on our case about hitting on the troll girls
?TG: and then literally the very next memo you are slobbering all over jade
?TG: thats just perfect hahahaha
CCG banned ?TG: from responding to memo.
FCG rebanned ?TG: from responding to memo.
?GG: dave wait dont go!
?GG: youve got to save me from this insanity :(
FCG: OH I SEE, NOW YOU COULD USE A KNIGHT, HOW VERY INTERESTING, HMMM.
FCG: GOD I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO BE FUTURE YOU, SLIGHTLY LESS FUTURE YOU IS SUCH A GOD DAMN PILL
?GG: i cant wait for future you to future kiss my ass!
CCG: YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
?GG: i also cant wait for past you to past drop dead and go to hell, PAST TENSE!!!!!!!!
?GG: when are those things going to happen?? or will have already past/future happened?????
?GG: i want to put another reminder on my finger so i know when its time to throw a party!!!!
FCG: HAHAHAHA, YOU HEAR THAT YOU OBSOLETE PILE OF GARBAGE? JADE JUST FLIPPED YOU OFF WITH A COLORFUL FINGER.
CCG: MAN, SHE OBVIOUSLY HATES YOU MORE. SHE CALLED YOU A SYCOPHANT WHICH IS A HUNDRED TIMES MORE DESCRIPTIVELY WORSE THAN JUST BEING A RUN OF THE MILL SCUMBAG LIKE ME.
CCG: SHE IS TOTALLY ON TO YOU AND HOW DESPICABLE YOU'VE BECOME, CAN YOU BLAME HER FOR HATING US?
FCG: NO, I CAN BLAME YOU, YOU'RE THE ONE WITH NO MANNERS WHO'S ALL TWISTED UP INSIDE.
FCG: HOW'S THIS FOR A PACT, EVERYBODY.
FCG: PAST KARKAT ONLY TALKS TO PAST JADE FROM NOW ON, AND THE TWO OF THEM CAN BICKER LIKE SHITTY LITTLE CHILDREN FOR HOURS/YEARS RESPECTIVELY.
FCG: AND FUTURE KARKAT ONLY TALKS TO FUTURE JADE, AN ARRANGEMENT WHEREIN ONLY INTELLIGENT DISCOURSE TAKES PLACE BETWEEN TWO CIVILIZED, MATURE, GROWN ASSED ADULTS.
FCG: IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK??????
?GG: jesus will you just ban me already????
?GG: my head hurts so bad now i think im going to cry
FCG: MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST BAN HER ALREADY AND END THIS TORMENT SINCE YOU DRAGGED HER INTO THIS.
CCG: FUCK THAT YOU BAN HER. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SEEMS TO "CARE".
FCG: WILL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, MAN THE FUCK UP, AND BAN THIS POOR GIRL ALREADY?
?GG: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa XO
?GG: i will just ban myself!!!!
?GG: *JADE HARLEY BANNED HERSELF FROM RESPONDING TO THE GRUMPY SHIT HEAD MISERY ZONE, AND IS NEVER COMING BACK*
?GG: pchoooooooooooooooo
[?GG] ceased responding to memo.
FCG: OK, THERE. SHE'S GONE.
FCG: MAYBE NOW YOU GET IT.
FCG: HOW HIDEOUS EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE, MAYBE YOU'LL FINALLY STOP FUCKING EVERYTHING UP.
CCG: HUH
FCG: WHAT
CCG: I THINK
CCG: I WAS PROBABLY WRONG ABOUT JADE
CG: SHE'S A LITTLE LESS LAME THAN I THOUGHT
FCG: SHHHHSHHSHSHSHSH
FCG: SHE CAN STILL READ THIS YOU STUPID FUCK
FCG: NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO OPEN YOUR VEINS AND WRITE POEMS ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS
CCG: FUCK YOU, I'M JUST VOICING A HARMLESS OBSERVATION OK
CCG: IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS IF SOME LUNK HEAD IN THE FUTURE GETS CARRIED AWAY WITH WHATEVER LITTLE THOUGHTS I MAY OR MAY NOT NOW BE THINKING
FCG: I...
FCG: BUT
FCG: HOW COULD THAT EVEN BE A REAL THING I TYPED THREE HOURS AGO, HOW COULD I BE THIS STUPID.
FCG: WE ARE JUST THE DUMBEST FUCKERS WHO EVER LIVED AREN'T WE.
CCG: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.
FCG: I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE ENERGY TO BAN US.
FCG: I'M JUST LEAVING.
[FCG] ceased responding to memo.
CCG: YEAH
[CCG] ceased responding to memo.
4 notes · View notes
l8-10 · 1 year
Text
Wow I completely fogot I made this years ago :0! Might as well log my thoughts.
I like being away from insta now. Ive been playing with the algothm too much that its spreading to my inner circle and it's all recycled explorer with trends.
Anyways, after 2 practice stories and getting out the fear of posting on webtoons, my first volume is almost done! I've lost 40 lbs over summer from refusing to work unrelated jobs and slept 3-5 hrs a day. Every hour goes to my manga. Eating only rice and broccoli, so i was deficient in iron, zinc, and all the vitamin lol. Tried not to faint from getting up. I really had to pull out savings when i can see my own organ pumping in the mirror, so that was freaky. Not as saddening as acute TE tho, but it's growing back with more sun, protein and carrots. I cook everyday now.
Meh, the pros kept a stricter schedule. I shouldnt complain. At least blood sweat n tears, plus health should equate to something right? Ive learned a lot about my craft and medical on this years journey. Also sacrificed a lot of toxic personal relationships too. Feels like i was in a reverse hyperbolic time chamber haha.
First stepping stone of about 1000. Its wood tier for now. Cant even call it iron nor silver, but ill get there.
頑張ります💪。so close and excited~
Best take away was seeing Oda-san reference film frame panel from my test story. It's like finally having a hidden pen pal :) i guess im not as invisible as i thought🤣
8 more pages. Reviewing and cover in Dec.
2023 is going to be Fun and painful.
よろしくおねがいします~🙏
Fri, Nov18,2022 4:44 am
8 notes · View notes
aza-writes · 2 years
Text
Blood Red : Chapter 10
Tumblr media
Hell's Kitchen : 2016
Aleksandra's POV
Soft ballet music fills the air as I pirouette across my training room floor. My feet are starting to ache and my toes feel as if they are about to fall off, but I must finish this piece. I must.
1 and 2, 3 and 4, 5 and 6, 7 8. Again. 1 and 2, 3 and 4, 5 and 6, 7 8. I finish in B plus, finally allowing myself to catch my breath. It's not the dancing that wore me out, it's the combination of training for hours then finishing with ballet. I started at 5:00 and am now finishing at 8:30, on the dot. I've been doing this since I started in the Black Widow program, another habit they created that's impossible to break.
As soon as I leave my training room, the doorbell rings followed by three, rapid knocks. I'm genuinely confused, Wesley always lets me know before he stops by my place and Mr. Fisk never does anything like this himself. Of course if it was someone trying to kill me they wouldn't knock, they would break in and do it. My taser bracelets were already on my wrist, I always have some sort of weapon on me. The knocking on the door continues as I grab a gun and load it in my right hand. I allow the energy in my taser bracelet to load slowly as I open the door. I recognize Leland from last night. I let the energy in the bracelet gets released and I set the gun down on the table next to the door. Why the fuck is Leland at my apartment without Wesley?
"Good, you're here." He tries to barge into my, but I put my arm up to block him.
"What do you want?" My tone clearly conveys that I'm extremely annoyed by his presence. I'm not in the mood to deal with his incompetence or sarcasm this morning. I would rather be around Wesley than Leland.
"Well, he gestures behind him but no one is there, "we are here to take note of things that you recently bought, allowing the man to pay for them and refund your purchases." Did he just call Mr. Fisk "the man." And I though Wesley calling him "our employer" was dumb, but this is so much worse.
I move my arm without saying anything. He is annoying the shit out of me. I put my hand on the door, pushing it shut, when I feel resistance.
"Excuse me," I open the door a bit to reveal a boy about my age. His hair is extremely fluffy. Wow, that sounds so stupid, but it is. His hair almost bounces on his head. His facial features were also soft. Soft, that word described this boy to a tee. Like it was made for him. His posture was perfect in every way but he hung is head down a bit. He looks up into my eyes and he cracks a smile. A soft smile to be exact. It's kind of dopey, or maybe that means he was actually happy, that it was genuine. It isn't fake, that's for sure. "Hi." He gestures out his hand for me to shake. "I'm Maverick."
I reach out to shake his hand, not really enjoying any of this entire situation I've found myself in. My fingers gently brush his, but Leland's voice pulls us out of our conversation. "Uh-uh. Nope. You cannot make me do all of the work. We have a job to do Maverick. Come on, stay focused." The boy, Maverick, nods and smiles at me as he walks into my apartment. Leland starts instructing Maverick on what to take pictures of and what he estimates the prices to be. As they do this I can't help but notices how completely different they are.
For starters, Leland is very round. Round face, round body, but with a square personality. I could tell from Maverick's introduction to me and his clothes alone that he has at least somewhat of a personality. Leland is wearing an ugly charcoal grey suit with a dark red tie. A harsh outfit to try to make himself look more intimidating even though he is just a clog in Mr. Fisk's machine. Maverick, on the other hand, wore khaki trousers and a white, graphic T-shirt. Although his outfit is already interesting, I was more focused on his shoes. The are white, high-top, converse boots with a little "M.L." embroidered on the heels with other stuff embroidered covering the rest of shoe. The other embroideries were so small I couldn't make them out completely. The shoes reminded me of the converse I bought, but these had much more personality to them. I know that every basic kid has these boots but there was something about how he wore them that made the shoes look like they were made for him.
I keep my eyes on them while I walk into my kitchen. I don't trust Leland in my apartment, I don't want him touching things that are none of his business. By no means do I trust Maverick though, I just met him, but Leland has openly said he doesn't like me. Now I know for a fact that neither Leland nor Maverick would try to attack me, but I can't turn my back to people that I don't completely trust.
I'm trying to keep my mouth shut during this whole ordeal, but that's hard when Leland is commenting on everything that is in the apartment.
"Did you buy anything with the thousands of dollars we're giving you or am I wasting my time here?" Leland looks at me with his eyes wide and lips in a line. He keeps eye contact with me like he's actually waiting for me to answer. I keep the eye contact but raise my chin slightly and straighten my shoulders even more. There is no way I'm breaking first and I'm not going to answer him, he's being rude. He came to my apartment unannounced then demands to be let in. Now he has the audacity to talk to me in that tone. I wonder how Fisk would feel about Leland speaking to one of his top employees this way.
Leland finally breaks eye contact by rolling his eyes and continues looking around the house, allowing my attention to shift to Maverick. Has he been looking at me this whole time? It's not a rude look either, he's just looking. When we make eye contact he immediately drops his head and smiles to himself a bit. He's blushing. Maverick bites his lip then looks back up at me then turns to Leland and continues taking notes on everything he says.
The fact that both of them now have their backs to me allows me to feel comfortable enough to turn around and grab a glass from my cabinet. I make sure that I do it quickly, not wanting to be exposed for that long. I know that they wouldn't be dumb enough to try to attack me, but it's engraved in my brain that anyone and everyone is a potential threat. When I turn back around they still have their backs to me, looking at everything in my apartment.
I start to fill up the glass from my sink when Leland's phone starts to ring. He groans and looks at Maverick before answering it. "I have to take this, check her bedroom and closet then we'll leave." He answers his phone and walks out of my apartment and into the hallway quickly. Immediately he starts to argue with someone on the phone, that man doesn't want know how to be happy.
When my apartment door shuts my head turns towards Maverick quickly. He does a weird awkward smile towards me. He looks extremely nervous. Has Leland told him anything about me? "Can I see your bedroom?"
Wow, he makes it too easy to mess with him. "Jeez, at least take me to dinner first." My tone is smooth and a bit seductive. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, he turns bright red. He's completely flushed in the face. It's kinda funny.
"T-that's not what I meant. I- um, your closet."
"Relax, I'm just teasing you." I point to the door across from me. "Right there."
Maverick smiles and nods, then pauses for a minute, waiting for me to show him the way. He looks unsure if he should move or not. It's an awkward twenty seconds of him looking at me than the door until he starts to walk to my room. I follow 6 paces behind him, still not fully trusting him. He opens the door to my bedroom then turns around to hold it open for me. I step into the room and immediately take a step to the side, wanting to avoid having any blind spots. That's one things I really like about my apartment, there's a lot of places where I can be in control. Maverick kinda understands what I'm doing at this point and takes it upon himself to look around my bedroom. He's a lot less nosy than Leland. Leland has been very invasive during this whole search; looking through every cupboard, drawer and taking pictures of literally anything. Maverick looks at me before opening anything in search for approval, then peaks and closes drawers immediately after he's written down what was in them. He's very gentle with my things, like he's scared to break anything. I can't help but watch his mannerisms, everything is so polite about him.
Maverick looks up and smiles softly at me. "I'm almost done, can I take a look in your closet?" I just nod, not wanting to give up my authority in this position. He smiles at me, not a soft smile but a real smile and walks across the room. "Great, thank you."
Maverick opens the closet door and immediately says "Holly shit, are these the new Jordans?" He looks at me smiling in disbelief. "H-how did you find them? I've literally been looking for them for weeks now but they're sold out everywhere." He smiles at me, again changing the tone of the smile. Now it is a bit giddy, like the smile I get when I'm fighting. "These are so cool."
I decide to give an inch, he doesn't seem like a threat, right? "Um yeah, I just got them the other day." It was after Healy's trial. I decided to treat myself and stop for some shoes. There was only one pair of the Jordans left, but they were stored in the back and not meant for purchase. Here's the thing about black widow training, we learn how to get what we want by any means necessary. Thankfully in this case, all I had to do is pay not only for the shoes, but an extra $2,000 on top of that. Worth it.
"I had no idea you were a sneaker head. That's so cool. I'm really into the customized stuff right now," he gestures down to his shoes "as you probably noticed." Again, a genuine smile. For a guy I don't know at all, he's very comfortable to smile in front of me. It's kinda nice.
"They're cool." I smile a bit, not a big smile but enough for him to know I was genuine. "What's on them?"
He chuckles a bit to himself. "I got bit carried away. I did them one night when I couldn't sleep so I decided to learn how to embroider." He looks at my bed, "Can I sit?" I nod. He sits down and crosses one leg up, bringing his shoe closer to me. I sit next to him, but not too close. "I have lightning bolts, a cube..." He starts to point to different things on his shoe, smiling and looking at me in between every few embroideries. "I have my initials, 'M.L.' for Maverick Lucius..." he finishes one shoe then shifts on my bed so I can see the other one. It's more of the same; lightning bolts, clouds, circles, etc.. For the first time he has been in my apartment, his smile drops. I look down at his shoe to see what he is pointing at. It's a small flower. It has a lot more detail than the rest of the embroideries. The flower has a lot of little, thin petals that surround each other. The thread is an array of oranges, ranging from vibrant to soft. "That's my mom's birth flower, a chrysanthemum for November." I look up at him to see that his eyes have sunken, they aren't happy and bright anymore, they were deep and full of mixed emotions. He keeps his head down, "she passed away almost a year ago." Oh.
"I'm sorry." I don't know what is possessing me but I can't help myself to not touch his hand. Just touching it, simply placing mine on top of his. He looks up at me. I'm now realizing how much closer I am from when I first sat next to him. Our shoulders are touching, our hips too. I can't tell if I like it or not. I haven't been touched like this in awhile, innocently. I think I like it. Neither of us attempted to move apart from each other's touch. We were both enjoying the feeling of physical contact. As both of us kept our bodies still and our breathing in sync, the silence started turning from comfortable to unsettling. Neither of us were sure if we wanted to break it though and risk ruining what we were doing or what it started as.
"So, um, tell me about yourself." He was trying to cut the tension, in a very poor attempt. As soon as Maverick says this his eyes widen, realizing his mistake. "I mean, what can you tell me about yourself?"
I take a few seconds to think about what I can say that's true but won't reveal too much. "My name is Aleksandra, I'm a former Black Widow." It's weird saying that out loud. Both of those things are true, but that's all I have attached to my name. Even in the black widow program I was just an agent. I did know my name but I was always "Miss Nikitana." It feels nice to say "I am" statements out loud and have them be completely true. It's sad that those are my only two.
"That's it?" He's shocked, he smiles in a baffled way. "That's all you can tell me?"
"Come on, there has to be something else you can tell me." His smile returns, I don't know why this makes me happy but it does.
"Like what?" I start to smile too, it's hard not to.
"Hmmm." He thinks in an over exaggerating way. "What is your favorite color?"
"Red." For the first time ever the word doesn't create a reaction in me. It's simply me telling him. The word "simple" fits this whole conversation. I'm not trying to stay tough, and he's not trying to harm me.
"Nice." There's a chuckle in his voice. He's completely unaware of the reason I like red, right? Why do I keep second guessing myself around him? I'm always so sure of myself around others, but there's something about Maverick that makes me nervous to say the wrong thing, not because I'm scared of being punished, it's because I want him to like me... I think. This conversation is a breath of fresh air. There isn't a right or wrong, there's only my answers. 
I don't want this conversation to end, I haven't had conversation like this since I was in grade school in Russia. That was ten years ago. "How about you?" He leans a bit closer to me to show me that he's listening. "What's your favorite color?"
"Blue for sure. Reminds me of the ocean." He turns so both of his feet are on my bed. He's sitting with his legs crossed and facing towards me. I do the same. It's no surprise that this makes his smile widen. "My goal is to go to a college down south, hopefully in Florida, and live near the ocean." 
“Sounds nice."
"Have you ever been to the ocean."
"No, I haven't." That's a lie, technically. I have been to the ocean, but it was on a mission and the person I was with isn't alive to tell the tale of what happened there. She's still in the ocean.
His blush comes back up and he looks down a bit, his smile never fading. "I guess I'll have to take you sometime." My eyes widen and I can feel heat creep up to my cheeks. I wasn't expecting that. I quickly look down, trying to hide my smile and my blush. 
I open my mouth, about to respond, when I hear my front door open and Leland's voice ring throughout my apartment. "Maverick! Are you done in there? Hurry up, we have more work to do." He mumbles something about never getting a break and something about "dumb kids." 
Maverick rolls his eyes then looks back at me. "I should probably go, don't want to keep him waiting much longer." 
I know I shouldn't let curiosity get the best of me and I should just shut up, but I feel compelled to ask my question. "If you want to get away so bad, then why did you start working for Leland in the first place?"
He's visibly taken back by my question, I kinda am too. He doesn't look mad or upset, just shocked. "He's my mom's brother so he kinda took me under his wing when she died. He told me that if I'm gonna stay with him, I have to earn it. He got me this job, which isn't so bad. I'm just an accountant and I'm making enough money to help pay for my college." 
Before I can respond, Leland knocks on the door again, making a commotion. "I better go." He looks at my bedside table and notices my phone. "May I?" He asks as he's pointing at my burner phone. Honestly, I'm a bit confused why. I nod anyway. Maverick hasn't done anything bad to me so I decide to trust him.
All he does is pick up my phone and type something in it. "This is my number," he hands me my phone, "I like talking to you. Hopefully we can talk again sometime." He smiles at me and stands up. "See ya around." He waves and walks out of my room. I follow four paces behind, watching them walk out of my apartment. As Leland and Maverick leave I realize something, even his voice was soft.
---------
AN: I am SO SORRY that this chapter took so long. I'm getting ready to start this semester of college so I haven't had any time to write recently! I'm super excited about the next chunk of the book and I hope you enjoy.  - A.S.
10 notes · View notes
meg2md · 2 years
Text
Finished 5 weeks of L&D, which included 3 straight weeks of nights. Wow, what a trip. I've delivered over 60 babies, done countless cervical exams, reached about 50% foley bulb success rate depending on the dilation and effacement of the cervix, and gotten my AROM technique down. I've also done one cesarean delivery. I started off being a total idiot and became reasonably competent (at least for an intern) by the end.
Thankfully I had a golden weekend this week - my first in about a month. I just started gyne and it's wild because now I'm starting over in terms of competency. And let me tell you, while hysteroscopy is a minor procedure, it's NOT EASY. I'm so clunky. I've only tried about two but I can't get the scope in and focused.
My partner also came to visit this weekend - he left this morning. Turns out the distance is hard for him. Really hard. Like, almost too hard. So we're giving it another go and hoping for the best, but man, turns out nothing is ever guaranteed. It's pretty depressing because the timing on our relationship is just ass. Everything else about it besides the timing/distance is so, so beautiful. Mind-blowingly beautiful. I had such a good time with him this weekend. He makes my heart feel full and happy; he makes me want to improve myself intellectually, emotionally, and physically; and he has helped me get over some of my old scars. I'm trying really hard not to be too depressed and hopeless about it. There's no sense in moping about an outcome I don't know for sure yet, and also why not enjoy the time that I have, even if it's limited? I really want therapy to help me not only navigate this but also my toxic thought patterns. It's nearly impossible with resident hours, though. I mean, we have protected time... but our protected time feels more like "protected time". Lol.
In the meantime I'm trying to really capture that feeling I had when I broke up with my ex - the feeling of being free, of re-inventing myself, of re-defining who I am and how I interact with the world. It's hard when I feel mildly dependent on and sad about not being with my partner, but honestly, how can I truly be in a healthy relationship with someone else when I can't even be in a healthy relationship with myself? At least my mood has leveled out to a normal level of depressed from the horrible chaotic depressed I was when I started nights.
So here I am once again trying to get my feet on the ground. I feel like I start from scratch a lot, but that's just life, ain't it? I bought ten passes to the rock climbing gym and bought a pull-up bar. I've lost a lot of weight recently: five pounds since starting residency and a total of eight pounds since I broke up with my ex back in January. While it's good to be back at my medical school starting weight, I unfortunately have lost a lot of muscle. My goal is to do a pull-up, so I'm going to need to navigate maintaining (or at least controlling) my weight while building this skill. This is a LONG-STANDING goal of mine, and one of my co-interns is interested in it as well. And a lot of my co-residents are into rock climbing, so that will both help with my pull-up dreams and also help me have a life outside of medicine. I'm also trying to rally some people to do trivia this or next week, and I want to hang out for dinner/drinks after work more frequently. Maybe next weekend I'll go to a park or on a hike during my one day off.
This is my first time moving totally on my own to a completely new city with completely new people. It is actually really exciting, once I sort through the terror and depression. It might be a long, long time before I have this experience again (well, at least four years), and I really want to make the most of it. I want to seize this chance and really thrive, carve out my own life, grow into someone I can be proud of.
"You feel like you've been waiting for someone for so long, but that person was you all along."
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dzpenumbra · 11 months
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5/8/23
Not the most eventful day, to be honest. I slept decently well. I think I got woken up once or twice by neighbors but got back to sleep okay. Oddly enough, ever since I ditched the earplugs I've been sleeping better. Maybe they were messing with me, idk. So much for trying to like... take preventative measures to practice sleep hygiene. The whole point of doing the earplugs was to get better sleep. I expected this massive night-and-day difference because I was finally getting undisturbed sleep, but naw... it somehow made it worse.
It's been a pretty cool week to be an insomniac, the moonset and sunrise have been syncing up, so I get to look out the window from bed and see the pale blue of morning start to soak the sky as the moon grows larger and yellow on its way down. Very picturesque, very memorable.
So yeah, again... not too much today. I had some dreams about my ex last night. Not my most recent ex (who I broke up with in 2018...), thank god... those dreams are rarely good... But my ex from college, actually. --- There's a duck quacking outside my window... at this hour, that's... not often a good sign... best of luck, buddy. --- After studying my dreams this long, I've started learning a lot of how my subconscious expresses itself symbolically. Despite the brevity of the relationship (that one was only about 8 months) and how... kinda horribly it ended... that relationship usually represents... idealism in a relationship, to me. At a subconscious level, at least. Because the experience of that relationship, for me at the time, was pure idealism. It was "I am so insanely lucky and blessed to have this opportunity". So, despite the blindness that came with that at the time... that's typically what she represents when she pops up in a dream. The focus of an ideal relationship or an ideal partner, even though the girl herself wasn't that in real life at all.
I wish I thought to record the dream, I've started to notice that I don't often journal the "normal" ones or the "good" ones as often as the "surreal" and "bad" ones. But, from my almost empty recollection, it was mostly just like... normal relationship stuff. Going and doing stuff in the world, buying things for the apartment, stuff like that. I remember it feeling very... normal. And that inspired me to hop on the dating app the second I woke up. And I went through everyone available, swiped a few that looked like we might mesh well, and... nothing came of it. As usual. 3 years of this, you think I'd learn by now not to get my hopes up with that.
I'm sure that was on my mind because I was watching a stream last night where the streamer was playing an FMV dating game, and one of the dates in the game was... a bit too close to my current identity. I mean, if you subtracted the kombucha, the veganism, the parents in political office, and the activism... and swapped genders... it wasn't far off from me. And there's one line from it that hit me pretty hard. This chick ran her own business making customized clothing and crafts and stuff, and the guy - on the first date - asked "wow, are you really making enough to do that full-time?" And that just... it's still stuck with me. That's a big insecurity and I have gotten a shit ton of judgment from former "friends" for it. I still don't like telling people what I do for work because of it. What helped me ground myself? The fact that the guy scoffing and rolling his eyes at a practical business like that... plays video games for a living on Twitch.
You can fucking scoff at any job, honestly. You really can, if you really try hard enough. "You answer phones for a living? That doesn't sound hard." "You pick up peoples' garbage? Why don't you just get a better job?" But creatives get shit on the hardest. Because people who have spent fuck-all time actually applying themselves to performative or expressive crafts, who wouldn't set foot on stage or put their art on a wall in front of an audience if you had a loaded gun to their head, just kinda feel like that person is "cheating at life" or something. It's like... if you love what you do, suddenly that means it's not hard... or demanding... or you don't deserve to be compensated for your labor or something. It's mind-blowing. I honestly don't get it. Starting your own cottage industry shop and pursuing your lifelong passion is like... the epitome of the American dream, isn't it? The whole "Land of Opportunity" thing? And yet... these people don't see your career as legitimate unless you're working... for someone else. Unless you're on someone else's payroll. It's very odd. Maybe that's just what they see as the definition of success, maybe they can't even process a freelance or business owner kind of thing. Idk. I've just had my head poisoned by that shit for well over a decade and a half and it sabotaged my future many times, and now I'm looking down the barrel of 37... and I'm just...
Okay, my thoughts are going too fast to keep up with so let me connect a bit here. I drew another ink drawing today - a big chunk of one, at least. I drew until my thumb ached to the bone, until I could feel the tendons in my forearm tight as guitar strings and straining, rubbing against the skin from underneath. I drew for close to 4 hours straight with a pee break and a break to get a banana and come right back. When I'm in the zone, I work until I can't anymore. And then I do more. I don't need money to motivate me to do it. I don't need fame or fortune or sex or drugs. I do it because it's what I'm here to do. And I have dedicated my life to putting as much of my life into that purpose as I possibly can. So... when I have people near me... who are supposed to be in a supportive position... instead of like... helping me connect with others who appreciate what I do, who benefit from my work, who see its importance, who value and support my work and its continued creation.... Instead, these people.. for years... convinced me that my time and efforts, were better suited laboring for someone else. At very least, the majority of my time and labor should be dedicated to someone else. And it really doesn't matter who benefits from it, or what I'm doing. Just literally anything else than what I do. Great support, yeah?
So... yeah, I'm still reeling a bit. That's a raw nerve for me. I took the leap of faith to finally embrace the title of artist again like... 4 years ago? And I'm still plunging. It's scary as shit to dedicate yourself fully to something that people actively tell you will not succeed. That takes a lot of faith. But for me... I mean... What the fuck else am I going to do?! It's what I'm wired to do! It's how I'm wired to function. I swear, I just need someone who knows like... social shit. Networking, gallery connections (?), community connections, shit like that. I'm just no good at that shit. I came from a family that considered their clients their "friends" and their idea of going out and socializing was going out to the same restaurant and ordering the same food and small-talking with the waitress for like 5 minutes while ordering food, while me and my brothers just sat there awkwardly... We barely even went on vacations and shit. I can do social shit, but it takes a lot of oomph and I really have to be in the right headspace. But good fucking lord, it would be so much easier if I had someone in my life who was willing to do that for me, who it actually did come naturally to - or at least... with me.
Ugh, I didn't want to get into that tonight. I did a good job of keeping the stitches in that wound last night, I guess it worked its way out now. My family and "friends" did a fucking number on me with that one. And yeah, I guess slaving away on this drawing for... nothing... nothing more than just another doodle in a notebook... It makes me feel really unvalued. And really unappreciated. And that hurts so bad, because I love doing this work so much, and I really feel like it is worth something. Like the decade and a half I've put into this work is worth supporting. Like this life is one that others can benefit from. But no one really seems to want to. They'd rather go to a "professional", or someone with 2k 5-star ratings, or buy something a computer made, or get an AI to make a cheap imitation for them.
Aaaaaand I'm cutting off this existential crisis right here. A big part of this is the void created when I finish a project. That void being filled with my only work today being a sketch, which... was actually really cool... but just... doesn't feel like it's going to help me get my rent paid. And that, combined with the thousands of chat reactions to a character from the stream last night, it just... it's tinder and a spark. But it's gonna take more than that to stop me. Sorry.
I don't know if I have any good vibes to end this with, honestly, though I could really use them right now. ... I'm overdue for a trip out into the world, honestly. I should go for a walk. Or, better yet, go take my electric board and go skating or something. Wow, I just have a ton of really anxious thoughts swirling around in my head right now... Like "I just don't want to go alone", and "I don't feel safe", shit like that. Over going skating on a sunny Monday. Welcome to trauma and severe anxiety, and depression. Yay.
Okay, well here's something, fuck it. I applied for the new RP server. I'm going to get declined, I guarantee it. Not dooming, I say that because people who have been RPing for years and have a video resume to back it up and paid to have their applications reviewed first? They are getting declined. So... I'm most likely not getting in. But I applied. And I barely felt anxious doing so, so that's a good step. And I didn't feel anxious on the dating app either, which is also good. So, there's some good vibes there. It's frustrating how quickly I can spiral with this shit, and how little it takes to tear apart the seams, but... I'm handling it much better than I used to. The thoughts swirl and poke through, but they don't overwhelm as much, it's not as visceral and emotional, it's just like... loud and overwhelming. But I can put it aside a bit better than I used to, and that's great progress.
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chanstopher · 1 year
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oh it's no biggie since i recover pretty quick! the 2-3 days where i am, in fact, sick are the absolute worst though, yes 😔 i actually have been set on going into psych since the seventh grade skdjfhf but now i'm hoping to get into anthropology as well & since i've always been into writing, i have english literature there too ^^ but my main area of interest is the social sciences revolving around psych! there's lots of unis i applied to where we could choose up to 3-5 preferred majors so for me it's anthro/socio -> psych -> eng lit. we became stays around the same time then! i actually had an aghase friend of mine (who was keeping up with the show) send me a video of felix saying that i would never expect what his voice is like dfhgjds that's when i looked it up and started watching because i grew a liking to them from the episode i watched :D i was there to witness the eliminations though. remember crying so much when chan kept apologizing to them 😭 i'm so glad they're all together now because i can't imagine 2/3 of my bias line not being there :c that's so sweet though; it's fun imagining you take a while to reach that conclusion after thoroughly dancing around it! i actually leant towards chan during miroh era but side effects dragged me back to my roots haha what kind of content do you enjoy making the most? since i know people might think what one mainly does is enjoyable but for me it's always different depending on whether it's something that sparked my creativity or something i just felt compelled to make for the sake of keeping my blogs alive hehe - 🌨
I apologize in advance because my grammar skills are so bad, as someone who likes writing im so sorry you're gonna spend the next month reading my run on sentences 😔 but wow thats so cool that you've had an idea of what you wanna do since 7th grade! i thnk the only thing I cared about then was anime lmao
The getting bias wrecked thing is like my brand at this point, I am so bad at guessing who my bias is going to be from the start of liking a group it's almost comedic. when I got into got7 i went from jackson > mark > jb > yugyeom in a week flat before i was sure it was yugyeom lmao and when i got into astro i was torn between rocky and moonbin, only to end up becoming eunwoo biased ONLY to get bias wrecked when i saw them in concert by jinjin. I'm always so messy until i find the right member and then its like all in hard core lol
I think I like making graphics the most, I can find it to be the most frustrating because if things dont work the way I want it can be harder to figure out how to fix it, but when they do work I find myself really proud of the result. gifs i find to be a more mindless task, since half of it is just waiting for clips to load and render, and for the most part coloring them isn't really as creative. I do also love art, but it takes way more time to do so it's harder to commit myself to wanting to spend 10+ hours on a painting vs maybe 2-3 on a graphic. I also just think that the inspiration to make a graphic gets me all jittery and excited in a way other things dont. And even when I look back on things and I dont really like the result anymore I can usually find something about it that I'm still happy with (but that is also me being a perfectionist and hard on myself lol) what about you?
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speedypandaweasel · 3 years
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Change of Plans - A Yancy x Neutral! Reader
❤ REBLOGS WOULD BE APPRECIATED ❤
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 MASTERLIST
Where we left off:
So much for a lie in. You slowly rose from the cocoon of warmth you had made for yourself and you felt your toes wriggle up the bed and hiss at the exposed coldness of the room. Dragging yourself out of subconsciousness, your eyes finally decided to greet the grey interior and the black-barred window that perched just out of your arms reach. Why would they put such a tiny window if they didn’t want anyone to look out of it? Pretty pathetic actually. The Penitentiary really needed to repaint the bars, some of the black paint had flaked onto your pillow whilst you were sleeping.
You sat up, a little too quickly, and a cold, hard sensation hit the top of your body. Well good morning to you too World.
The unbearable ringing continued as you brought your arm down onto the squawking alarm clock. The room fell into a comfortable silence once more. 7:30am, not too bad, yet it could have been a little longer. Yet it was as if someone decided to balance a massive book on “how to not have a headache” on your already sore head. You’d ask Boggs for some paracetamol, or maybe some Ibuprofen as you tried to ponder on what did you do to deserve this...
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~ Chapter 5 ~
MatchBox Analysis - 2.3K Words
"I'm here to speak to Officer Boggs." You timidly spoke, playing with the hem of your shirt. The man that towered in the small door frame in front of you was the most intimidating of all: Officer Rexx.
There were rumours about him that were too obscure and dangerous to mention twice, You only happen to hear about them when you overheard a couple of prisoners talking about "the anniversary" of how he lost his previous job, whatever that meant. To be frank, you didn't want to know about whatever hell hole he wriggled out of and treaded on eggshells around him, even if you weren't speaking to him. Something about that man caused you to feel insecure about something that you couldn't point your finger at, but there was no doubt that it was there.
"Yeah, he's in here." He paused for a moment. "You're one of the newer ones around here, aren't you? I've seen you around but never had the pleasure to meet."
He stuck out his grubby hand, his sausage fingers extended shortly at you, waiting for you to touch them. You grimaced before wiping that expression off your face. Rule 1: Never acknowledge the fingers.
You stuck out your hand bravely and shook his greasy one. His strong grip tightened around your knuckles as he shook hard, almost breaking your frail fingers.
"Well, I'll just go get him. Stay there." He spat. The door firmly closed behind him, the staff room's view blocked once again. You peeped through the mesh windows and managed to decipher the blurred silhouette of the sofa and coffee counter. You backed away as the door swung open again to the familiar face of Officer Boggs, his much shorter height made you relax second by the second.
"Oh hi Y/N, shouldn't you be outside?" He asked before shutting the door behind him, leaving the both of you outside in the wide hallway.
"Well I am, but I forgot to give you this from last night." You replied, planting your hand into your pocket before pulling out the owners key. Boggs let out a chuckle as his rosy cheeks grew even merrier.
"I forgot I gave you this! I'm glad that at least someone doesn't take my naivety for granted" He continued. "I respect that about you."
He unhooked the jingling keys from his beltline and clipped the Cafertiera key on the chain. He had a proud collection of keys to his name - being a veteran member of the Prison, it did have its perks.
"Well thank you, I really appreciate that Boggs. You know, sometimes I don't feel like I fit in here myself." Sounded cliche, you internally facepalmed yourself. Normally you wouldn't be telling this to anyone, but Boggs had been there since forever so it was nice to tell at least someone your true thoughts about staying here.
"Oh now don't think like that, every prisoner when they first come in her feels like that, but don't worry, I'm sure that the others will welcome you soon. Have you tried talking to them? I know you're not the socially inclined person but give it a shot. Who knows? You might actually enjoy their company" He concluded.
When Boggs gave advice, it could go two ways: either it was incredibly awful which ended in bad decisions being drawn from it, or it could be genuinely heartwarming and sincere words of wisdom. Thankfully, this was one of those pieces.
You allowed yourself to run over the speech the superior had just given and smiled. You could spark up a conversation with Yancy, you could ask him about what that poem meant! Maybe that could be the starting point of breaking out of your introverted shell.
"Thanks Boggs, I really do appreciate you." You said, before heading off outside.
"Have fun! But not too much fun, I don't want for you to get hurt!" His yells sounded down the empty corridor.
The mid-day sun blazed down on the steaming concrete, the prisoners having that work-out glow. Yancy had rolled his short sleeves even shorter, exposing his lesser-known tattoos, and his private box was stuffed in his trouser leg conveniently, away from the guard's view. If anyone found out what was in this box..well, it would ruin him.
Racing became tiresome after a couple of hours so the prisoners resorted to lazily running laps around the small quarter, this included the songbird himself.
"I tell's ya T, you wanna stop off for a few minutes? this box is gettin' uncomfortable." He protested, shifting his weight from one foot to another, finding a comfortable spot in his trouser leg.
"Why, you chickening out? Scared that someone will beat your record?" T retorted.
The prisoners slowed to a stop. Yancy regrettably paused his track game and attempted to get his ragged breath back.
"No ya dingus, it's 'cause dis box is scratchin' my skin off! I swear I's bleedin' down my shin by now."
Tiny's retort turned into concern as they pulled over to the side of the quarter. Once out of sight, Yancy slowly rolled his trouser leg up to his shin and took out the small, worn-out box from the bottom of his leg.
"Your leg hasn't been sawed off Yance, but you sure you need to keep it there? You could hurt yourself."
Yancy chortled shortly, not willing to admit that his friend was right. After what happened last time, he was going to learn from his mistakes. He rubbed his fading ankle bruise as he remembered the time he stayed in the medical ward. But the question was: where was he going put the little thing?
His eyes scanned the usual nooks and crannies that he had hid stuff in before, but word somehow got out and now everyone was using them for their secret stashes. Great - so much for having the upper hand.
His eyes continued to look for somewhere to stuff the thing until his ears pricked up on the outside door swinging open. His frustrated face broke into a smile as he saw you walk out timidly, and perching on a weight bench.
"Here, can youse hang on to it for a hot minute, just don't open it alight," He said, his curious eyes never leaving your sight.
Tiny was startled. The Boss never let them hold anything of his, let alone the one thing he persistently never left out of his sight. Tiny slipped the matchbox into their shoe before taking a squat down the brick wall as they watched their mate stride over to the newbie, but chose not to follow suit.
You picked at the seat cushion like it was the most interesting thing ever to you, whilst plucking up the courage to go and talk to the most confident person out here. Your eyes managed to look up. partially blinded from the sun but saw the small huddles of prisoners near the water pitches, walking around, or down by the blind spot. Guards stood at every entrance broadly, letting people in and out of the area, their moist uniforms made you wonder how the hell they managed to keep composure in this heat.
Your moment abruptly came as you saw the man of the hour coming towards you, his wide shoulders fully exposed to the heats rays. You knew he worked but w-w-wow.
"Finally decided to join in the fun eh?" He sprung up the conversation.
Chuckling, you look down, embarrassed and in amusement "And I'm guessing that this is the newest trouser look. Is this asymmetric chic? or is this just you trying to use illusion to become taller?" You threw a double whammy at him.
Yancy's shocked eyes bored into your own mischievous ones for a brisk moment. Suddenly, he exaggeratedly placed a hand on his chest before crumbling to the grass floor. "Oh de pain! I can't bear it anymore! Not another short joke!"
Other people around the quarter edge were starting to laugh along with his flailing and happily applauded when he finished his piece. The cheering and jeering died down as the conversation drifted back to normal, as Yancy dragged his trouser leg down and sidled up next to you and he bumped his hard shoulder next to yours.
"What a Drama Queen." You continued, letting out a small smile.
"What can I's say, I got's to get ma training in somewhere." He replied "So how's it been with you? Finish dat book yet?"
It was as if he read your mind! The topic of the poetry book caught your attention as you chipped away at your social shell. "Uh, not yet, but I did want to ask you a couple of questions about poem 19. You know, the one you recommended I read?"
The prisoner stretched his arms and placed them behind himself. "Oh yeah! It's one of ma favourites! I personally thinks its about de good and bad sides to love and once you've actually caught feelings for someone, it pains you to do things dat even surprise yaself. Youse got me?"
You would have never known that Yancy had a passion for literature, just listening to him made you even more dedicated to spending time with him. Boggs was right with his advice, it didn't bruise your ego that bad to socialise with new people, as it made you question what other things the man had up it sleeve - or trouser leg.
You rephrased yourself, "Ok then Yance, do you read poems often then?" your feet started to dance around the grassy floor, flattening pieces of green.
"So do you analyse poems often then Yancy?"
The man interrupted you "Oh please, call me Yance, only the big dog calls me Yancy."
"I used to when I was a youngin', my family hads a nice library ya see. Dey's had Shakespeare, Jane Austen, and some oder authors I can't remember but when youse a fabulous actor like myself, you gotta keep up ya noggin' in check." He smiled and looked out onto the busy area, almost reminiscing about his past life.
He never liked to bring up the subject of his past but when Yacny was with you, it felt- right. To finally talk about childhood memories and just laugh about them, instead of it always being dragged back to the soul reason why he was locked up at Happy Trails in the first place.
His strong arm planted on the side of your small shoulder as he gave you a tight squeeze. "How about youse? Do you read?"
"I-Uh... I"
Words formed in your mouth, yet your tongue was on holiday, not responding to any sentence your brain was throwing at you. Butterflies were born in your stomach as your face started to feel warm, too warm for your liking. What was happening? Were you having sunstroke!?
"Youse ok? Ya looking a little warm d'ere" Yancy said, dropping his arm from your side. "Youse want me to go grab you some water?"
This signalled your tongue to finally come back to work. "Oh. No, I'm fine thanks and yeah, I read, that's what I was going to ask about you actually." You said, forcing confidence.
"No way! Heh, I guess great minds think alike huh?" He replied, grinning his addicting smile. He looked over to where he left Tiny and an idea sprung in his scheming mind. "Hey, youse wanna come over to the wall, I got's a friend who you could meet. I mean, only if you wanna?" Yancy laughed, trying to sweetly coax you deeper into socialisation.
You hesitated. This man sure was alluring, but risking another episode like that caused you to reconsider. You bit your bottom lip, slightly, your eyebrows became sewn together as you weighted up your options. Either go over and run your social battery out completely, or decline and recover from this moment.
"Thanks Yance, but I think I'm done for the day." You responded. "All this talking and warm heat" and maybe some other things "has made my head spin a little."
"Ok, well if youse's sure." Yancy stood up once more and punched your shoulder "See you around Keys!"
You saw him walk back to his mate and sit down together under the shade of the building. You blissfully made your way back inside of Happy Trails, back with you and your own thoughts.
Its blasting air conditioner made your arms tingle as you pulled out a chair in the Cafeteria and went to reach for the poetry book. The silence hung much thicker in the air as you sat uncomfortably. Is this what withdrawal felt like? To be isolated not a minute after being surrounded by people. You kind of missed the feeling of having someone to talk to, but everyone had their boundaries - even you. You tried not to linger on the thought of feeling like you let Yancy down. He gave you the opportunity to help you overcome your fears but you didn't take it. Maybe next time you would take it, but for now, you did something new today: You should be proud of yourself.
You scanned around at the empty chairs and tables, the occasional guard whistling by the Cafeteria's door frame before you brought your head to the window. Your eyes soon spotted Yancy sashaying around with his friend. They must have said something funny because he soon showed his pearly whites, his chest rising and falling as his strong hand clutched his chest. Your eyes couldn't tear themselves away from this scene. The jailbird was the only person who actually tried with you. Smiling to yourself, you looked back up and your breath hitched. He was looking directly back at you and giving you a small wave. His smaller companion followed suit, shooting their hand straight up, frantically joining in. You sheepishly waved back before opening the book from you left off.
"Missed me Y/N?"
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