Hello, I hope work is going ok

Haha, I also hope this is somewhat coherent, but I am very bad at assembling my thoughts into something that resembles a narative, but here are some thoughts that has been carouseling my mind:

Recently, I have been thinking abou beyblade fantasy AU's: A grant adventure, a world fractured into many fighting factions (some human, some elven, some with magic powers and so on), soon to be overshadowed by The Great Dark Lord Nemesis™️

The legendary bladers are propheciesed to save the world, and as of now most of them traveling together on some great mission to raise an army to defeat Nemesis or smth (everyone except Ryuga? Have a very hard time imagining him going anywhere with anyone). However the legendary bladers are NOT a cohesive unit, they are from different factions and have a hard time trusting each other 😔 </3

Along with this, I've been thinking a lot about armor: how to make it functional and actually protective, while still evoking the feel of the bladers original outfit... (ok actually I've mostly I have been thinking about how to make armor, that looks like a crop top with a big billowy coat for Kyoya, but at the same time actually protect his vital organs)

My solution for now is probably layering some chain mail under some cut up shirts, but then I ran into my second problem: that much armor is heavy, noisy and warm (since you'd also need layers beneath the chain mail), would an adventurer even wear that much armor on a day to day basis?... So now I am trying to come with a way to balance that out... (Actually after writing it down tho, Kyoya specifically would absolutely see wearing heavy armor as a great training exercise...)

Also bc Kyoya gets special treatment as my favorite character, and I think he could use more "great-destiny-I-didn't-pick-and-thus-don't-want" issues: Mayhap his mother is the heiress to one faction, but she was driven away by an usurper, who is now out to kill her and her descendents? (No scars from *accidently* falling windows in this AU)... (Also maybe the usurper is paying Chris to take care of her descendents?)

Aaaahhh anyways thanks for reading all of my ramblings <3

henning i can always count on you tysm for sharing your ramblings w me <33

fantasy au my beloved!! the idea of the legendary bladers roaming around the lands and trying to rally an army while constantly bickering with each other is so funny. i have to agree that ryuga probably wouldn't travel with them but! imagine the kenta & ryuga interactions in this scenario :(( kenta tries to learn magic from ryuga who is so so good at it but unwilling (and without the patience lbh) to teach. kenta just stares at him really hard and tries to learn by observing ryuga do impossible feats of magic. ryuga acts annoyed but he also loves the attention lol

plsss kyoya in fantasy armor is simply amazing and badass. id love to see it. i know its impractical but i do imagine him in a chainmail crop top or something similarly unnecessary but stylish. anything for the glam. could also imagine some kind of corset top-like leather armor? i think leather armor would be the go-to for adventurers anyway.

kyoya is the perfect protagonist for a "refusal of the call" trope lmao. it would be a "fuck this, im gonna do my own thing" situation with him. every. time. "i don't care that you're a god or fate or whatever and you can't tell me what to do."

d-did you just make kyoya/chris possible in this au?? FJFDHSSJS maybe it's just my permanent brainrot for this ship but! chris keeps failing to assassinate kyoya but he's come close a couple of times and also kyoya's scars being a result of one of chris' assassination attempts and also they know each other by now after all this time and they probably keep bickering while trying to kill each other which is so unprofessional but it's almost like they're friends and do they really actually truly want to harm each other at all at this point?

... im blaming you for this tangent lol thank you henning i truly appreciate this <3 love you

Wait, have you done 5SOS5 for the album things, like you did the other 4?

I haven't but I will now oskaoskoasas here are the other posts if you feel like reading them self titled sgfg youngblood calm random post i made about how the album is telling the story of being trapped in one relationship

5sos5, my tragic love baby, we start it out so strong with complete mess, first self-produced song and first song we heard that was written by the four of them and only the four of them, all of them singing, a recognizable guitar riff, that classic 5sos song structure with a 4 chord melody where the song builds up until it drops at the bridge and comes back to finish it off strong with the last chorus, also "I ask no questions as your colors take their hold as my darkness turns to gold inside"?????? Excuse me??????? Then we move on to easy for you to say, they wrote all that we just let them get away with it, I'm scared to find a piece of peace of mind has haunted me since I heard it for the first time in a shaky Instagram live from the Dublin show, obsessed with the lyrics of this song, I think lyrically it really shows how good they are as songwriters, but this song is also my controversial opinion of the album because there's something in the production of it that deeply bothers me (sorry Michael, I love you) so it's the song I listen to the least, I'm still listening the live cut from the tour diary. Then we go to Bad Omens, I will never accept the fact that that song is not everywhere. I think it's flawless, the way the intro matches the outro so you can get caught in the same loop of going around again that the lyrics are talking about, and that's something that's a trend with them, they exaggerate the lyrics with the production and I think bad omens is the best example of it, I'm particularly obsessed with the way the chorus makes you expect a high note after the somebody, so when we get to the outro we expect the last somebody to be followed by a high else, but they actually drop the note, because nothing is ending in a high note here, not the relationship, not the song. Flawless vocals, flawless melody, flawless production, not a single wrong decision was made with this song. Then we have me myself and I, I think is so much fun, I think they made the perfect pop song, you have simple lyrics that are just repeating, and the way the song is structured it kinda feels like it's just one chorus that keeps going and going and since the song actually ends not only in the middle of the sentence but also in the middle of the progression in the guitar, you kinda feel this need to loop it, I know most people didn't get it when Ashton said that this song was very sgfg, but this song is so sgfg if sgfg was more pop than it is, the way its 4 chords in a guitar that just loops, the way it builds around that riff, the way the drums only come in in the second verse, the way it goes, goes, then just drops before coming back, the outro with the repetition, it's all very vapor of them in my opinion lol. Then we have take my hand, the way Luke wrote it alone and they managed to make it sound like a 5sos song is actually such a good example of how well they work with each other as musicians, because, yes, you can feel Luke's influence deeply in the song, but you can hear them all in it. Also, Luke Hemmings the songwriter you are, I can't quote anything because I would just write the whole song. One of their strongest bridges, amazing song all around.

Then we get to carousel, I don't know if anyone else remembers this but Ashton said that you just need 2 chords to make a great song, and this song technically has 4, but in the verses, they're actually going back and forth with 2, and I think that's such a good way to give you that feeling of spinning that comes with a carousel when paired with the drums, also I feel like this song is the first of many in the album where Luke flexing his vocal range lol, dude starts on his lower register, pulls some high notes and the whole time you're just like *Ashton's voice* you got an epic voice bro. Also, the symbolism of the lyrics drives me a bit crazy. And the way the song drops but never picks back up because you're on a one-way ride and there's no going back, INSANE. Also, Youtube countdown outro my beloved <3. Then we get to the most controversial song on the album. Personally, I think older is a good song, I would've put it as a deluxe track and put moodswings here instead but mostly because moodswings fits the tragic love narrative of the rest of the standard album in a way older doesn't. Love the piano, love the way Luke's voice goes with Sierra's, beautiful song but it feels out of place when you look at the rest of the album. My dear devoted delicate <3. Then Haze. Let's ignore the emotional whiplash of going from a piano ballad to it. I'm actually obsessed when 5sos goes 80s pop, it's a song that makes you want to move. It gives you that very pop feeling while being completely built around a guitar riff, so it's a very pop vibe but it exists around their strength, also Ashton is singing so it is a win in my books lol "when I lived between the bars" <33333333 . And the fact that all of them have production credits on it makes me all !!!!! Then you don't go to parties. I'm in a ydgtp mood so this may be very biased toward it. I love that the verses are built around the bass but the chorus is built around a guitar riff. I'm obsessed with everything about it, the little synth noises thrown all around, Calum playing with his lower register, the drums, Ashton's verse, everything really. Lost my limit cause I'm dumb and I'm passionate. I'm particularly obsessed with how many ways you can interpret the lyrics. Maybe he's looking for someone, maybe the someone he's looking is his old self, maybe he just wants out from his own head. Amazing, incredible, did something to my brain when I first heard it. Then blender, my beloved. LOVE when they make a song around the bass riff. Obsessed with the use of a blender as a metaphor for the cycle they're trapped in, because a blender spins things around while chopping them up, so no cycle is without consequence. Another song Luke is just flexing how good of a vocalist he is. Everything about it feels dramatic, the chorus sang in one breath, the imagery the lyrics are painting, the way the song starts and ends with Luke singing so no intro or outro to get you out of the cycle. Mandatory moment of appreciation for time stamp 1:37 <3.

Then we have caramel. I will never get over this song. It fundamentally changed me as a person. From the sigh in the beginning to the riff at the end. Ashton lower harmonies in the first verse, Luke's voice sounding almost dreamy while the lyrics are talking about getting back to something and how it gets sharper as the song goes and the lyrics start to give you the idea that maybe there's no saving this one. I know it well, caramel, I feel the comedown. I don't know about yall but every time I hear the second verse of this song I want to drop to my knees and scream (and I have on occasion lol). I don't think they made a single wrong choice with this song, from lyrics to production. Love like a landslide, I kiss you goodnight and the implications of the goodnight in a song about fighting for something that you know is doomed because they could've very easily made that love like a landslide I kiss you goodnight, love like a landslide I kiss you goodbye and imply that they are leaving this thing they know they can't save, but no, the love is going down and they are going down with it. Then they just spin you around with best friends. Love that this is a 2 chords lets have FUN song. I love my best friends, they love me, I will hold on to this feeling as long as I can. Michael verse <3333333333. Absolutely obsessed with how they just wrote a song about friendship. Love how this is a song that I can see every era of them playing and just goofing around on stage. Then we have Bleach. Way to put you back in the emotional blender. Again, Luke flexing his range. Lower Calum, Michael verse. You know how I said they sometimes exaggerate the lyrics with the melody? This song has water sounds (I can't determine if Michael actually added waterlike sounds or if he added a waterlike effect to the slides sounds you can get when you switch chords in a guitar) and with a good enough headphone, there's actually a whole layer of harmonies in it that sound like they are playing somewhere with a lower refraction rate than air, like water. It's so hard to watch everything I want, everything I was spinning down the drain. Multitasking 🥺. I do wanna know if this song was the soundtrack to more people impulse changing their hair color because the amount of times I bleached my hair while this song was playing since it came out is a bit alarming. Perfect soundtrack for those of us who dye hair as a bad coping mechanism lol. Then we have red line. I'm definitely biased about this one. This is one of my favorite songs ever. Definitely my favorite on the album. The way they play with the imagery of waiting in a train in it fascinates me, from the oohs that sound like the notes of a train whistle, the synth that sounds like the sound you get when there are station announcements, the echos that sound like the ambient sound you would hear waiting for a train, to the literal train doors closing as the song ends. The lyrics that leaves you wondering if they are waiting for the train to come or for someone to join them on the train they are. The implication of not being welcome anymore. I want back in, but I can't. I would love an acoustic version of it and I think more people would like it if it had a more stripped production, but seriously this song is everything to me. And what a way to end the album when you consider the bird sounds in the beginning of complete mess, to finish it with a door closing. Michael Clifford the producer you are.

Then we have the bonus tracks. They put you in the emotional blender going back and forth with sad songs, lets dance songs. I want whatever Michael put in moodswings so I can inject it pure into my bloodstream. The most Luke flexing his range Luke could get lol (they're not playing this song because they can't change the key or else the rest of the song would be too low but the chorus is too high for Luke to sing every night and I will die on this hill lol). The epitome of I have an anxious attachment style but I am in a long-distance relationship. I love a good reminder of how well all of their voices go with each other. Obsessed with the way they exaggerated the breaths in the bridge, the random piano sounds. Also, do something for me, put moodswings, queue bleach, change the crossfade to 12 seconds, then sit back and enjoy. Then we have a nice little 180 twist because going from moodswings to flatline gets me like that gif with the girls dancing while crying lol. I don't care what Ashton said, I still hear Calum lol. But their harmony game is insane and I think that that chorus has a shitton of layers and that's what keeps us all guessing about who's singing. Anyway, this song makes me want to sit them all down and discuss their range because that shit is HIGH. Again, love me some pop vibes. Sometimes you just wanna dance to a song about falling so hard you feel like your heart is gonna stop. Then we have emotions. Criminally underrated song. Obsessed with the way Michael is singing about anxiety on top of a guitar riff that counts in a self-soothing pattern, I think that's legit genius of him. The way he's harmonizing with himself too, like, he said MY SONG and meant it. I'm doing my best and I guess that's the best I can do. I think this song follows the malum pattern while writing songs together because they have a tendency of repeating sounds more frequently than you would expect, kinda as if they made a list of words that rhyme and tried to put them as often as possible. I'm also obsessed with how low the song is because I think we as a society talk about hitting high notes all the time, but a lower song can be real impressive if you give it a chance. Bloodhound. Forever mad I didn't get visuals of Michael's "he sunk his teeth into the bone" but I can see Ashton arguing against this song because the crowd would clap wrong during the bridge and he wouldn't be able to move past it oksaaoska. Fun song, gotta be honest tho, the lyrics confused the shit out of me for a while there. I do love the beat in this, the combination of the bass and the drums and that thing in the back that sounds like Ashton is banging his drumsticks together. Then we have tears. Anything that has Ashton singing is a win in my books. Obsessed with the imagery in it. There's a hole in the sun caving in and I feel it. Burn the words to start over. Diamonds turn to puddles. Tears hitting the ground, Fears pulling me down. Cashton do know how to make a song. I think if you're going back and forth with a duo in the band, Calum and Ashton create a real nice effect. The rhythm section really popped off with that one. Love how you get double the Ashton influence with how heavily it goes around the drums.

The new vocal coach was an amazing choice, Michael is an amazing producer, lyrically they excelled themselves, really shows off all of their strengths 1000000000/10 best 5sos album and we all know it.

24012024

Kinda venting since Reddit is down ???

CW[ Trans stuff and kinda se*ual harrasment, I suppose]

I wanted to post this in the FTM subreddit but idk why whole Reddit seems to be down atm???

So I get like 30+ incels adding me on snapchat for the past week or two, and most of them just whine for pics or nudes. This one specific guy actually talked to me for a bit so I didn't dispose him right away. So I crack jokes at him for about three days and I think I told him that, imo, he was boring bc he just talked about how much he wanted to showe his dick into every possible hole of mine. And I tolerated this and proceeded to crack random shit at him, now he is like

'I'm boring so no boobs right?'

I awnsered 'I don't send those kind of pictures to anybody'.

-'bye then.

-'lol' then I deleted him.

Like why and when did snapchat turn into this pussy hunting game, where I'm like the unwanted prey, bc I'm not willing to send even regual pictures of my face to pussy hungry men like that. What the fuck, seriously.

The just the amount of convos that go like; they ask me, age? location? pic? And I awnser those. The convo ends when I say I'm a fucking tranny or that I don't do pics, is just way too high to find this incel carousel entertaining anymore.

Neveg mind the few times people send pics of dicks without asking if I give a shit about that OR EVEN ASKING MY AGE FIRST. Like, I could have been under age!!! wtf!!!

And this ONE discusting shit, sent me videos of his junk and proceeded to VIDEO CALL ME MULTIPLE TIMES IN A ROW, I told him not to do that, and when asked what his problem was, he just replied 'sex' to everything. Reported him. Not cool.

At least some just go 'ok' and ghost you after telling them they ain't getting any fun out of you or they ask if you wanna see their junk, before they just shove it into your face. Like thanks for being even that much considerate.

But for real, I feel targetted on snapchat.

Another completely different, but kind of related source of anxiety for me now, is that the another care company wants me to take part in their group things or hang out on their little HQ, and I'm not comfortable around cis-boys. I'm more comfortable being in a group with queer ppl or girls, since none of those have treated me like a sex object or tried to do things to me.

Girls usually don't give a shit about me or I think some might talk shit about me bc I'm not pretty or skinny and I dress a little weird. Queer peple are usually neutal, some even talk to me a little.

But boys... see me as a girl or an object, no matter what. This might be cause I was always put in the same box with the girls in school and most of all people I had in my life, have been women. I guess I just see them as a scary, diffirent breed now, bc the few male people I did know, treated me that way.

I just feel like I'll never fit anywhere. I hate my body. I hate that I'm so tired all the time. I hate that I cannot change things that cause me pain and the people who could do that, won't. I wish I was in a diffirent body, some one else, like a bimbo girl bc that's ehat people want, right. Or just plain dead.

I just want to be alone but sometimes it just really sucks but when I'm given a chance to be around people I remember why I can't stand being around others.

I wasn't talking about that quote I was talking about these interviews:

Bedelia says early in the scene with Will, “You can’t live with him, you can’t live without him.” That’s exactly what this is about. Will can’t live without Hannibal, and he knows that in that moment, once they’d experienced a murder together — a vicious, brutal murder where they hack a guy up with a knife and a hatchet — he’s like, “That was kind of fun. That was a good time. In fact, it was beautiful.”

https://tvline.com/interviews/hannibal-series-finale-will-lecter-cliff-bryan-fuller-interview-season-4-637438/

But what Hannibal knows is going to come around again on the cannibal carousel is that that Will can't live without him.

https://www.tvguide.com/news/hannibal-postmortem-digestivo-bryan-fuller-season-3/

These quotes are relevant because Bryan will not say Will can't live without Hannibal, then have season 5 be about Will killing Hannibal.

Also those quotes you provided didn't even say that Hannibal is about Will Graham not Hannigram lol. It was just Bryan saying that season 4 would tell the most interesting part of Will's story, which makes sense since he's the protagonist. But he does not say Hannigram is not important.

In S3 Will made a decision that he can't live with or without Hannibal which ultimately made to choose another direction that was death, that was the only way to solve the dilemma, if we take Bryan's words then he also says Will would be out of his mind which makes sense because he would lose his identity, he is not fit for Hannibal's lifestyle as he is not a killer like him not saying he is not a killer at all but that Will is only capable of righteous violence. After all this shit if he gets his happiness in s5 it would have to be because he has overcome his biggest obstacle , which is Hannibal himself.

Now as I have said before Bryan from the beginning of 2015 has given contradictory comments about hannigram, but one thing was always solid that he wanted to say Will Graham's story and u are right he is a protagonist still and hannibal is an antagonist the root of the evil in the show and as per narrative they will have to eliminate that with violence once and for all . Now how they do it that's the question?

I'M FINALLY HOME

This was the most absurd trip for a wedding I've ever taken, but it was worth it in the end to see one of my best friend's beaming face as they turned to face the guests during such an important moment in their life. I'm not usually one for tradition, but I'll be damned if I can't keep a promise, lol.

[Needlessly verbose description of this completely fucked journey below.]

To paint a picture of how petulently fate tried to keep me and my sister from making the trip, I was supposed to have left on a train at ~10:00am Saturday morning to arrive at the destination ~6:00, an hour or so before the welcome reception. My train was canceled due to "wiring issues."

I contacted my sister, who already had a flight booked out of Philadelphia, but her arrival would be somewhere around 8:00pm, at the tail end of the ceremony. We caught a bus to the airport at 3:30pm, then waited at our gate until the time of our departure, ~6:30pm. Mind you, this was only supposed to be about a half-hour flight.

A storm rolled in. Our flight was delayed another hour.

The storm raged on. Every lightning strike necessitated another 15-minute wait before anyone could board. It was evident we weren't making it to the welcome reception, lol.

At around 8:00pm, the storm had subsided. But, it turns out the plane at the gate wasn't ours. More precisely, it was intended for another destination entirely, and because it couldn't lift off, our plane had no way of entering the gate to let us board. When it finally departed, we were left waiting in uncertainty whether another would arrive, as the next plane was flying in from Canada. There was talk that the flight might be delayed to the following morning—the day of the ceremony.

No sooner than 10:30pm, a plane arrived to carry us the 30 minutes to our destination. Mind you, I'd never flown before, so my anxiety was through the roof as it was, and the delay certainly didn't help, lol. All I could think during the flight was, "My rotten luck is what will bring this plane crashing down." It was a relatively turbulent flight through the clouds. Seeing nothing but reflected flashes of the plane's lights off the rushing clouds as I sat in utter darkness was a hell of a first flight experience.

Soon enough, we made touchdown, but keeping with the trend of tardiness that plagued our trip, we were stuck on the plane a few more minutes, as the airport receiving us was shortstaffed and we had no marshalls to guide the plane to the gate, lmao. The clock struck midnight as we made our way to the baggage carousel.

An hour and a half later, we barely managed to nab an Uber to our hotel. We checked in at almost 2:00am. My sister hadn't slept in over 24 hours.

The day of the ceremony was mercifully sunny, despite calls for rain. Naturally, we had trouble finding an Uber to our destination, and upon arrival at a sprawling, labyrinthine nature park, we realized we had no idea where to locate the blue cedar the ceremony was to be held under. We were offered vague directions, and hastened on our way at 12:54pm.

The ceremony would begin at 1:00.

In shorter a time than expected (the guide told us it was a 10-minute walk), we scrambled up a hill and spotted the ceremony gathering. Everyone was already standing. We made our way over quickly and quietly, and thankfully there were two empty seats on the side closest to our approach, which we took as soon as my friend and their bride reached the cedar tree. Their back was to us, so they hadn't noticed how deftly we had slipped into the crowd.

It was such a cute ceremony! Very gay, 10/10. Don't tell anyone, but the three of us met on Tumblr in 2010 over EarthBound memes. We'd visited each other a few times before, even if we only sparingly get a chance to communicate these days. To see them married in person after all these years was so fucking wholesome. Sorry, it all made me regress into 2010-speak. :')

It wasn't until toward the end of the ceremony that the brides faced the guests of honor. The smile they flashed upon seeing us there, half-dead from our successful misadventure made all my stress from the journey completely melt away. Later, at the reception, they told us that seeing us there had made their entire ceremony.

I still need to message them now that we've made it home. I'm just glad we could be there to witness it all, even if I am dead-tired and have work tomorrow morning.

Sorry if this was sappy of me, lol. I try to avoid blurting slam-poetry posts, but a wedding kind of deserves one.

Dunno about anyone but the song Bad Apple!! Gives me the vibe of a pinning sherlock struggling with his feelings...idk I have no one else to talk about Johnlock stuff irl lol

Ever on and on I continue circling With nothing but my hate In a carousel of agony 'Til slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing And suddenly I see that I can't Break free, I'm

Slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity With nothing but my pain and a paralyzing agony To tell me who I am! Who I was! Uncertainty enveloping my mind 'Til I can't break free and

Maybe it's a dream, maybe nothing else is real But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel So I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside And I wish that I could live feeling nothing but the night

You could tell me what to say, you could tell me where to go But I doubt that I would care and my heart would never know If I make another move, there'll be no more turning back Because everything would change and it all would fade to black

Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night? Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light? Am I hurting? Am I sad? Should I stay or should I go? I've forgotten how to tell, did I ever even know?

Can I take another step? I've done everything I can All the people that I see, they will never understand If I find a way to change, if I step into the light Then I'll never be the same and it all will fade to white

Ever on and on I continue circling With nothing but my hate In a carousel of agony 'Til slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing And suddenly I see that I can't Break free, I'm

Slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity With nothing but my pain and a paralyzing agony To tell me who I am! Who I was! Uncertainty enveloping my mind 'Til I can't break free and

Maybe it's a dream, maybe nothing else is real But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel So I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside And I wish that I could live feeling nothing but the night

You could tell me what to say, you could tell me where to go But I doubt that I would care and my heart would never know If I make another move, there'll be no more turning back Because everything would change and it all would fade to black

Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night? Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light? Am I hurting, am I sad? Should I stay or should I go? I've forgotten how to tell, did I ever even know?

This time you're not hurting me! This time I will take a stand! All the hatred in my eyes building up an evil plan Standing lonely in the night, with the darkness by my side Looking deep inside myself, and revealing only fright

If I make another move, if I take another step Then it would all fall apart, there'd be nothing of me left If I'm crying in the wind, if I'm crying in the night Will there ever be a way? Will my heart return to white?

Can you tell me who you are? Can you tell me where I am? I've forgotten how to see, I've forgotten if I can If I open up my eyes, there'll be no more going back 'Cause I'll throw it all away and it all will fade to black

So I'm back here once again, so I'm back here once again Can I ever make a change? Will my heart begin to mend? Would you love me if I go? It feels like a heart attack But still everything's the same and it all just fades to black

[Lyrics from MusixMatch]

Hey Lovely!

Ah, you didn’t give me an artist, but this was the first result google gave me and DAMN WHAT A FUCKING BANGER!!!!!!!!! This is a GREAT song!!! I LOVE catchy dance music like this, and, even if it’s the wrong song, this one REALLY feels like Sherlock to me. I love it SO much. Thank you for adding it!!

🎶 LISTEN TO THE JOHNLOCK PLAYLIST ON [SPOTIFY] & [YOUTUBE] 🎶

I will send u love, tho i cant write it in a characters voice, so ill just say im proud of u too, and u deserve that doll, do tell what one u get <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

That's okay, I appreciate you!!!

As for doll

So I was a big Monster High person back in the day- I still am, tbh. But back in the day, when you couldn't take three steps in a store without seeing something monstrous, I would constantly talk myself out of certain dolls. I guess I wanted to focus on just one or two characters; I didn't have the space for displaying e v e r y doll (I was obvs focused on Ghoulia but I also had quite a few Clawdeens. She had a lot of purple so yeah).

Anyway, years later, I'm an adult- uh, moreso than I was, I guess- and dammit I'm getting the mermaids. The three new girls in the mermaid line were WILD- one had two heads! One had four arms! One... well, I'm still not sure what is going on with her but I need the full set.

So first I got Peri and Pearl (daughters of the Hydra).

Their tail can fold to double as a stand! They have scales! They have TWO HEADS!!! I managed to find them on ebay with all their jewelry intact (earrings are usu. the first things to be lost)

Next was Kala Mer'ri, daughter of [REDACTED]

Kala's having four arms was always so cool to me... her squid tail also gives her the widest hips of all the MH characters which is a whole Mood lol. I got her off ebay too, all jewelry intact. Her tentacles act as a stand and can rotate and her fingers have suction cups and her arms are segmented alfrpndndsod so pretty purple squid girl

and then yesterday I got the final girl, Posea Reef, daughter of Poseidon*

She always seemed to me the most ""normal"" of the three, what with the one head and two arms, but she's got this kinda "I AM the coral reef" vibe what with her tail being made of seaweed and her body jewelry and the little fish and crabs tangled in her seaweed... I'm starting to digit. and her body sculpt has these intricate... bump scars? idk what to call them but it's beautiful

So yeah, by next week I'll have all the mermaids (excluding the main cast girls who got turned in to mermaids for this story line; my goal was the "real" mermaids lol)

I ALSO treated myself to Gooliope Jellington, daughter of "Unknown" (it's the Blob), the first of Monster High's 17inch tall dolls with more flexibility~

I didn't get her NIB but I'm posting the in-box image to show the care that went in to her- look at how she's posed in there! Clearly too big for the standard box! And the plastic, made to look like it's breaking, she can't be contained! She's a circus freak, wearing an old circus tent as a dress, wagon wheels for earrings, parts of an organ for a crown, SKELETAL CAROUSEL HORSES MAKE HER HEELS!!! Her hair looks like cotton candy, her eyes have a shine shaped like a radiation symbol, her pink body has the tiniest shimmer, her limbs have little drips like she is melting... she's also got more joints, including a torso joint, allowing for greater pose options. Here she is holding a regular MH doll

and here she is dunking sick baskets on the court

So yeah I'm getting the dolls I denied myself back in the day 💖💀👍

💝-- jisbon x musicals (i would be thrilled if you could put some Sondheim on there, but also just go wild with what you love. also I use Spotify primarily)

fidajf;ajf i'd say you have no idea but i think you do know just how much joy (and pain) this brought me!! and i am using this to give my explanations for each song, enjoy. also, i don't know your preferred versions, but a lot of them are more recent recordings because my favorite people are in them hehe

this playlist is once again much longer than intended lmao so I'll be nice and put it under a read more

always starting over (if/then) - see the post gifset!

we do not belong together (sunday in the park with george) - yes I cheated and used some from our conversations hehe but you are right, peak 6b jisbon

no one is alone (into the woods) - "sometimes people leave you halfway through the woods. do not let it grieve you, no one leaves for good."

dyin' ain't so bad (bonnie & clyde) - "dyin' ain't so bad, not if you both go together." in particular, this reminds me a lot of Jane in various seasons/situations

what you mean to me (finding neverland) - "every word and every sentence doesn't seem to make a difference; nothing can explain just what you mean to me." you have no idea what you've meant to me..............

here i go (if/then) - "you know, deep down, I'm a coward—afraid to let you in. But the only thing more frightening is to say what might've been, so here I go."

dangerous to dream (frozen) - "I can't be what you expect of me and I'm not what I seem, but I would love to know you... is it dangerous to dream?" they're both such scaredy cats i love them

i've been (next to normal) - "all my fears just sit inside me, screaming to be heard." that line reminds me of jane, but this song applies to both of them in different ways.

i am the one (next to normal) - i truly feel this is peak jane/lisbon season one finale energy.

for good (wicked) - this one feels pretty self-explanatory

no good deed (wicked) - this is one I think of as a Jane song re: his wife and daughter and subsequent relationship with Lisbon. "Let all Oz be agreed, I'm wicked through and through—since I could not succeed, Fiyero, saving you, I promise no good deed will I attempt to do again."

i will never leave you (side show) - throwback to one of the worst days of my life where i listened to this on repeat for a six hour car ride lmaoooo but also, I adore this song, and I just love when songs like this aren't romantic because it speaks to the different kind of love that is present.

a change in me (beauty and the beast) - i feel like I'm putting a lot of Jane songs so this is my disclaimer that I love Lisbon with my whole heart my WHOLE HEART and it's just so unusual that I also love the lead male character lol (this one also feels pretty self-explanatory)

all i've ever known (hadestown) - Lisbon, Lisbon, Lisbon. (Jane as well in a pretty different way)

you matter to me (waitress) - i mean, this gifset explains it.

if i didn't believe in you (the last five years) - i can't put it on the playlist because it's spotify and i don't really know how, but particularly the pronoun showdown versions of this song remind me of Lisbon (although... without changing the pronouns LOL)

helpless (hamilton) - "now my life gets better every letter that you write me." do you know how much i sob every time i watch lisbon read those letters. do you. DO YOU!!!!

without you (rent) - this one specifically reminds me of the two years between 6x08 and 6x09.

falling slowly (once) - "you have suffered enough and warred with yourself; it's time that you won." this line is literally etched into my soul and applies to so many things.

halfway (reprise) (amélie) - "even though I am always halfway there," "I could meet you there halfway."

if i loved you (carousel) - "if I loved you, words wouldn't come in an easy way—round in circles I'd go! Longing to tell you, but afraid and shy, I'd let my golden chances pass me by."

unusual way (nine) - just... the whole song.

a quiet thing (flora the red menace) - jisbon + home.

heart of stone (six) - I had to get some Six in there. This one reminds me of Lisbon <3

people will say we're in love (oklahoma!) - are they wrong though? (no.)

as long as you're mine (wicked) - their 7x09 conversation 😭

promises (hadestown) - "I can't promise you fair sky above, can't promise you kind road below, but I'll walk beside you, love, any way the wind blows."

where do we go from here (amélie) - "but whatever happens, here we go."

disneyland fun - DREW STARKEY

authors note guess who's back with more dad!drew content? DUH ME!! i've been writing a lot of rafe cameron fics lately and decided i need to write more of my dad!drew, lol. something about drew taking his kids to disney land really is the cherry on the top because he does seem like the dad to do that.

summary drew and Y/N surprise tatum to a three day trip disney land.

warnings ABSOLUTELY NONE!!!

DisneyLand, the happiest place on earth, where all your dreams come true.

One of your dreams has always been to take your children to DisneyLand when they are little, so they can experience what you did as a child. You spent your childhood going to DisneyLand with your family and having a great time. 

It’s every kid’s dream to go there.

Drew and you surprised Tatum with a phone call from Minnie Mouse, telling her she can't wait to see her in a few days at DisneyLand. The expression on Tatum's face stayed with you. Tatum burst into tears from joy.

She hasn’t stopped talking about it since.

The park opened at seven thirty this morning, and you arrived twenty minutes after. The music that is being played throughout the park. The familiar DisneyLand scent filled your lungs, bringing back childhood memories.

Tatum, on the other hand, was completely taken aback. She kept gasping and pointing at everything that came towards her.

Drew was pushing the stroller as you walked beside him.

"I want ears, mommy," Tatum said, pointing to a random individual strolling by who was wearing ears.

"Yes, sweetie, we can get some," you respond, pointing to the store.

There are many different types of ears to pick from. Tatum liked almost all of them but couldn't decide which to pick.

Tatum ended up going with the pink ears with sparkles. She wanted you to match with her, so you got the same ones. Drew got mickey mouse ears, the regular ones. Tatum kept begging him to get some.

An hour goes by, you guys went on four rides– Peter Pan, Snow White, Tea Cups, and the carousel. The rides Tatum is able to go on. Tatum seemed to be having a good time so far. She keeps talking about the Tea Cups ride because she enjoys spinning around in circles and the music.

Tatum keeps talking about how much fun she’s having even though she’s only three years old. She had the opportunity to meet a few Disney characters too, she was so happy. 

In ten minutes, your families will meet you at the park. Tatum is in for another surprise. She hasn't seen her grandparents, aunts, or uncles in quite some time. She constantly brings them up. 

It's a wonderful time to spend time with family, especially at DisneyLand.

You three are waiting in line to meet Minnie Mouse. Drew was admiring Tatum and talking about what she'll say to Minnie when she sees her as you were taking pictures of them. 

When it was your turn, Tatum got a little too excited. She wiggled her way out of Drew’s grasps and ran towards Minnie Mouse with her arms open for Tatum. 

“Minnie!” Tatum exclaimed.

Tatum started talking about the phone call she got from Minnie last week.

“This is too cute, '' Drew whispered under his breath.

Drew told Tatum to get closer to Minnie for the picture– she gave the camera a big smile and hugged Minnie one last time before walking back to you two.

Everyone is finally together. 

So far, you've been on practically every ride. Star Wars Land was one of the first parks you visited as a group. Definitely a memorable experience. You grew up watching the series. Tatum was unable to ride faster rides due to her smaller size. 

Fans noticed Drew and asked for pictures. Of course, he said yes because he wouldn’t be here without them. You love seeing him interact with his fans. They mean so much to him in ways he can’t explain.

Tatum and Brooke went on autopia together while the rest of you went together– Brook took cute photos and posted a cute video on her instagram story of them on the ride. Tatum got her driver's license from the booth, she won’t stop talking about it. It’s so cute. 

Right now, you guys are in line for Pirates of The Caribbean. The next group to go on the boat. The smell brings back so many memories when you were growing up. Your dad brought up one time your younger brother almost fell in the water. 

“Are you excited Tatum?” Drew’s mom asked, picking Tatum off from the ground, placing her in the boat. 

“Yes nana” Tatum replies. 

Tatum grabs Drew’s mom's hand, squeezing it tight, leaning her head on her arm.

Tatum's face suddenly drops, forcing her bottom lip to shake. She turns around and makes eye contact with you. 

"Mommy," she whimpered, raising her arms.

You bring her into your lap and rest her head on your chest. She smiles up at Drew when he makes a silly expression to cheer her up.

She spins around on your lap, inspecting the animatronics and decorations. The look on her face indicates that she was perplexed by the animatronics that were real but did not move like actual humans. 

"Doggy daddy!" Tatum yelled, pointing to the dog holding the key.

"That is a doggy, princess," he laughed.

As the night grew darker, the whole family stopped to grab food. The firework show starts in an hour which gives everyone time to relax and catch up. Tatum was having a fun time, you could see on her face. She loved being with her grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

This was quite useful for the family. Tatum spent the entire day bragging about how much she loves Disneyland and wishes she could stay there forever. Your inner child was ecstatic since this was exactly what you had wished for.

You guys stood close enough to see the show and fireworks when it was time for them. Tatum only wanted to be with Drew. You placed your arm around his, your head resting on his bicep.

Tatum kept her gaze fixed on the show the entire time, amused. When she saw the first fireworks go off, she wiggled in Drew's arms with delight.

By the end of the night, you guys walked back to the hotel. Everyone thanked Drew and you for inviting them on the trip. Tatum was knocked out in her stroller sound asleep. The next few days are definitely going to be fun. Tomorrow, California Adventure.

my taglist

@runningfrom2am @winterrrnight @brooklynscherry-z @kaydsr3venge @johannelis2302nely

if you would like to be added to my taglist please let me know and i'll add you on my following fics.

Yo [Fictional Character(s) who Suffered] said Ever on and on I continue circling with nothing but my hate and the carousel of agony till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing and suddenly I see that I can't break free I’m slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity with nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony to tell me who I am who I was uncertainty enveloping my mind till I can't break free and maybe it's a dream maybe nothing else is real but it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel so I’m tired of all the pain all the misery inside and I wish I could live feeling nothing but the night you could tell me what to say you could tell me where to go but I doubt that I would care and my heart would never know if I make another move there'll be no more turning back because everything would change and it all would fade to black will tomorrow ever come will I make it through the night will there ever be a place for the broken in the light am I hurting am I sad should I stay or should I go I’ve forgotten how to tell did I ever even know can I take another step I’ve done everything I can all the people that I see they will never understand if I find a way to change if I step into the light then I’ll never be the same and it all will fade to white ever on and on I continue circling with nothing but my hate and the carousel of agony till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing and suddenly I see that I can't break free I’m slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity with nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony to tell me who I am who I was uncertainty enveloping my mind till I can't break free and maybe it's a dream maybe nothing else is real but it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel so I’m tired of all the pain all the misery inside and I wish I could live feeling nothing but the night you could tell me what to say you could tell me where to go but I doubt that I would care and my heart would never know if I make another move there'll be no more turning back because everything would change and it all would fade to black will tomorrow ever come will I make it through the night will there ever be a place for the broken in the light am I hurting am I sad should I stay or should I go I’ve forgotten how to tell did I ever even know this time you're not hurting me this time I will take a stand all the hatred in my eyes building up an evil plan standing lonely in the night with the darkness by my side looking deep inside myself and revealing only fright if I make another move if I take another step then it would all fall apart there'd be nothing of me left if I’m crying in the wind if I’m crying in the night will there ever be a way will my heart return to white can you tell me who you are can you tell me where I am I’ve forgotten how to see I’ve forgotten if I can if I open up my eyes there'll be no more going back cause I’ll throw it all away and it all will fade to black so I’m back here once again so I’m back here once again can I ever make a change will my heart begin to mend would you love me if I go it feels like a heart attack but still everything's the same and it all just fades to black

(tag this with your fictional character(s) who suffered if you want lol)

Hello you Mrs. Christmas loving jambalaya making archer in training medium rare steak eating eyebag 😅

Sorry I fell asleep on you, I know it takes awhile to get back, there's so many topics in one. And I am okay to making friends with someone weird, at least it makes me not the weird one anymore hahahaha just kidding and it goes both ways, you can also back out and stop answering my questions 🥲

I love the fireplace! And the tree is so pretty. The lighting feels so homey and cozy. It's like I can actually feel Christmas just by looking at the photo. But where are the presents lol I'm surprised that you didn't put the train set under the tree like a lot of people do.

My favorite colors are black, gray, and royal blue.

Same, I mean I love burgers too but if I make it myself. But I love making sandwiches more. I really like roast beef and smoked turkey, and honey ham. I don't have a favorite cheese but I like the taste of provolone cheese with my sandwiches. How about you? What are your favorites?

Mm I love spaghetti and lasagna. I think I can eat spaghetti everyday, I just need the perfect sauce. I remember making risotto before, it was good but you are right, it can be hard to make haha

That's interesting, cashews and raisins in rice? I want to try that. I want to try new foods! I want to try Indian curry but I am scared because of the spice. So I always just make my own curry at home where it is just mild or 0 spicy 😅 they do have really good rice though, I ordered biryani one time, and the rice was amazing..spicy but amazing.

Yes I love bread! I really like fresh french bread. But I can't make bread at all. I get to scared messing with yeast. I like eating it though hahaha i like making banana bread, and zucchini bread. Do you like bread?

How do you start a space party? You planet. 🤣🤣

Would you rather be able to fly anywhere you want, or be able to swim and breathe under water?

-CuriousGeorge

Good morning.. hahhaa.. wow i bet u had to take a deep breath after u sayin my nickname, or u hv to crack ur knuckles after u typed it. Now i gotta create u some. Lol.

It's okay! I figured u fell asleep. Yeah we have lots of topic in one which is great! N i love it! Hahahha. Oh trust me, u wont be the weird one if u r friends with me. 🤣 nope, i wont back up n i will keep replying to ur asks.haha. in fact u r too late to back out now from making friends with me, u know too much now. So u r stuck being my friend, FOREVER! *laugh maniacally* 😈 hahahahaha. Jk. Dont worry, im not a maniac.🤭

Aaaw thank you!!! I love fireplace too! I love decorating it even if it's not christmas! Hahaha. Our previous house in CA has 2 fireplace (formal livin room and other living room/tv room) so i had fun decorating it.😆

Oh n guess what, few days ago was my first time have a lit up fireplace n i love it! I love the crackling sound n the smell of it when u walk into the house.. smell smokey but different smokey. When i was a kid i always dreaming to have a house with fireplace and i will get warm from the fire in it on winter, so i was so happy when it was on.lol. like i said, im easy to please person 😅

Aaw thank u.. i usually like the tree with the whitelights, but for my daughter, i picked the color ones so she will be amazed n more excited for christmas. N if u see the pictures of the decorations with the lights (carousels n the others), we started collecting it for our daughter. We try to buy one every year, so she can keep it n have it when she is older or have her own place. We also like to collect christmas ornaments from places we went to or things that we like.

Haha the christmas present, we have them all in our tornado shelters in the garage,, with her stuborness, she wont want to wait to open it n will keep asking to open it. Plus we r going to CA anyway on the 20th, so we will put it the night before we leave so when we get back it will be there n we'll tell her santa came when we were at grandma's 😅 pluuuuus she will get A LOT from her grandma's n uncle, they already put them under the tree. We just dont want to take the excitements from it with the one we got them. And mostly presents from us are big ones (art easle with table n chair, frozen themed vanity, bike, cinderella carriage toy and a mini drum set) it wont be fit under the tree 🤣🤣🤣🤣 n yes, she is one spoiled sassy princess. Lol. Mostly is my husband's doing though. I reminded him that we have to slow down on the gift, just to teach her n keep her humble.. again, i'm the no fun parent.lol

Ah yeah, bout the train, we always put it under the tree but this house is smaller n it will be on our way to the room if we put it under the tree, so we put it over there just so she can see it.

These are the picts from last year's christmas on the formal living room. N u can also see the 9ft tree we had last year. I asked them to flock it because thats how i love it.😅 n the train is under the tree.lol.

Oh those are nice colors.. mine are burgundy red, navy blue, dark green, black. Is royal blue like the dodger blue?

Ouh i love roast beef sandwich! When i was in new orleans, there is this place called parkway, they are famous with their roast beef sandwich n they put their famous gravy in it n u can also add fried shrimp to it.. it is soooo good. I love ham, roast beed, prosciutto, and spicy capicola. 😁 im not a big fan of cheese but my favorite is mozzarella, sharp white cheddar and provolone. Harvatti cheese are yummy too.

I think when u order indian curry or briyani u can ask them not spicy.. i always order them spicy hahah. Try tikka massala chicken, they r creamy curry. They usually make it either with coconut milk or yogurt it's my favorite.

I love bread. My top three favorite are naan bread, flat bread, and pita bread. Other favorite are sourdough and plain bagel.😁

Ough i love french bread with creamy soup! 🤤

Yeah the cashew nut n raisin really make the briyani rice interesting n give a lot more flavor.

Lol it took a second for me to get the joke because i just woke up when i read it..lol. thats a good one. More joke please! *clapping*

I would rather be able to fly. Deep ocean scares me.haha. what about u?

Next question if u dare..😆😅

Cheerio!

Heisenberg looking after Rose??

he means well but. i wouldn't trust mr. what-is-self-care with a child

First of all, Happy V-Day❤️ I hope it’s a good one for you! Secondly, I’m so happy you’re doing matchups! Hope you don’t mind if I request one! My preference is TLB. I’m 5’4, mixed, with long wavy black hair and blue eyes. As open an energetic as I am on tumblr, I’m actually really shy and introverted until I feel fully comfortable with a person. I have some pretty bad social anxiety as well so when I’m out I tend to try avoiding drawing attention to myself. I’m a very headstrong and stubborn person, and I always put my friends and family before anyone else. I’m definitely not shy when it comes to telling people off if they need to be. I’m definitely the mom friend lol. I’m currently studying to become a recreational therapist and some of my hobbies include baking and cooking, reading and writing and collecting the most random things. From vintage cameras to tiny recycling bins, to funny pins. You name it I probably have it. I’m a big fan of physical affection and when I love someone it’s very hard for me to let go. I’m a big fan of tattoos and piercings on myself, and I’m planning to get sleeves next year when I get some debt settled. I wasn’t sure how much information to put but I hope this is enough! Ty so much <3

The sparkling lights from the carousel didn't do anything to hide your scowl. Even the plastic horse you were on looked offended on your behalf. Seriously, was this blonde asshole gonna follow you all night?

You twitched when he pulled at your hair again. "When are you going tell me your name? I've been asking all night."

"Not a chance," you hissed, slapping him away.

For the first time that night, it was the curly haired stranger's turn to scowl. "Jesus. What the hell's your deal? Can't a guy talk to a cute person anymore?"

Heat immediately rushed to your cheeks. The fact that he didn't respect your personal bubble or repeated rebuffs was clearly a red flag of some sort but on the other hand... he thought you were cute? Him, the one who actually looked like a Renaissance cherub?

It was a little flattering.

Perhaps it wasn't the smartest decision ever but you decided to tell him.

He flashed his pearly smile at you, making you flutter. "Cool. I'm Marko. And I have to say that I have an earring that would look amazing on you?"

(Please except this late valentine as a token of my appreciation.)

I think Marko would see your shyness as sort of a challenge and he would pick at you until you finally talked to him. Honestly, he'd find your telling him off pretty hot. Maybe not the healthiest way to express his interest but it's Marko. He's probably a big collector himself, little gremlin that he is, so there could be a lot of random gift gifting between you as well.

stray kids as girl group songs because i can't sleep on a monday night

series of the few girlgroup songs i know bc i only stan boygroups and mostly listen to just that,, followed by a short cute scenario inspired by that said song bc it's the middle of the night and i can't sleep 💫💓❣

all of the blurbs are like 100 words at most, no warnings i think ?? yeah :') mostly fluff. enjoy.

bang chan as really really by cherry bullet

okay but the lyrics to this are so cute and so chan 🥺🥺 like there's a line that goes like "even my insecurities turned into confidence" and if that doesnt scream channie to you then i don't know what will. like the song sounds just so cute and warm and like a warm hug in spring 💫☁️💓

"i really, really like you." you hear chan say, making your mouth hang open in surprise.

"me?" you ask.

"yeah, who else?"

"n-no, that's- i'm not that likeable-"

"stop it, y/n. you are the most likeable person i know and you bring me so much happiness and comfort every single day. so stop doubting yourself, you silly, okay?"

minho as not shy by itzy

you feel the blush on your cheeks deepen as he deletes the space in between the two of you, enveloping you in a tight hug. you see a butterfly fly around, much similiar to the ones in your stomach, making you softly giggle. "i like you too, chan."

okay is it just me or do itzy songs just scream minho energy ?? we stan confident queens. also their dance--- queens. okay. well, this song captures minho's confident attractive side the most i feel like 😎 like imagine a confident confession by our boy minho over here ??

"what do you even want, minho?" you furrow your brows in frustration and confusion all at once, waving your hands in the air.

"i want you." he says, gazing deep into your eyes.

you are left with no words in your mouth, breathing quickening at his gaze, his aura capturing you in a way you didn't know it could before.

"minho-"

your words are soon cut off by his mouth on yours, but you're glad, because you didn't really have anything to say anyway.

changbin as witch by the good girl cast

this song is a whole ass vibe my girls jiwoo and jamie snapped in this 🥵🥵 it's just has that badass dark vibe changbin radiates at all times (except from when he's in his soft zone lol) and like some good mafia aus can be written with this vibe but i don't do those so yeah here's a little something confusing

"what did i do?" asks changbin in the arms of the police, a deep smirk sitting on his lips.

"oh, you already know, young man." spits the policemen, bringing him into the car, leaving you watching him with eyes fierce, insides burning. this again?

"wait for me, babygirl, yeah?" yells changbin your way, his blonde locks falling into his eyes.

you ignore his calling. "i'm gonna come back. as always. yeah?" smirks changbin.

he's not the bad guy. or is he?

hyunjin as psycho by red velvet

ummmm- are we even surprised ?? no. he owns the psycho cover and i watch it at least 3 times a day for good luck and clear skin 💫😎 but like this song is about someone coming to ruin you and like be honest did hyunjin completely ruin you or are you normal

you dry the tears off your cheeks, a sad smile coming onto your features, feeling like a psychopath again, falling for his games and for his tricks, just like every time.

"you just love me too much, right?" smirks hyunjin, placing a hand onto your cheek, rubbing small circles onto it to comfort you.

you sniffle, scoffing. you are pathetic. so, so pathetic. but you're never going to change.

because you're never going to stop loving him.

"yeah."

jisung as fancy by twice

okay are we even surprised part 2 ?? he ate that shit up, like that 💫💓dalkomhan chocolate ice-cream-cheoreom nogabeorineun jigeum nae gibun so lovely☁️💟 lives in my head rent-free 24/7 and i listen to the fancy cover literally every single day (while aggresively skipping wooj*n's face) and i am not even joking at this point. and the VIBE ?? the VIBEEE ?? jisung and you being your each others first love and dhskskdn omg my heart-

"i like you so much." mumbles jisung into your neck, planting a soft peck on it in the process, making you giggle.

"i know. you tell me every single day." you say, looking into his eyes, feeling like you see the whole entire universe in them, gazing into them as if they answer the questions to everything there is in the world.

"okay. let me change it up a little, then," giggles jisung, pecking your lips, "i love you."

you stare at him in awe, euphoria of hearing him say those words for the first time taking over you, a wide smile appearing on your mouth. "i love you too."

felix as hip by mamamoo

okay are we even surprised part 3 like ummm that boy ate the choreo up 🥵🥰 umm yeah but hip and mamamoo in general are so cool and so is felix lmao (btw hip is the song that got me into kpop this march 🥺🥺) and like hip is about being who you are and respecting and loving someone with everything they are 💓💫

"sometimes i even wonder why you're dating me in the first place." you mumble, your hair greasy and your loose t-shirt falling over your hips.

"what? why would you think about something like that?" felix furrows his brows, confused about your sudden confession.

"well, a girl like me is no fit for a boy like you. you're all cool and stuff and here i am with my oily hair and loose clothes..." you gesture to your body, feeling embarrased by even bringing it up.

"you're cool too, stop that. i love you just the way you are." he smiles, pecking your lips, suddenly making all your worries dissapear.

seungmin as lovesick girls by blackpink

okay i don't know what it is but this song just screams seungmin to me,, like the idea of knowing you'll get hurt by love but still wanting it nonthless, needing love and desiring it... also,,the vibes of like the evening summer city just sit so well with seungmin in my opinion

you put your legs out of the window of the going car, singing at the top of your lungs, passing the lamposts and counting how many of them are on the long highway.

you turn around to look at seungmin on the driver's seat, humming the song with you, looking at you once in a while, his heart beating fast at the presence of you in his car this late at night. he promised himself he's not going to fall in love again, but you weren't making it any easier for him. he was born to be alone, but you make him feel like loneliness is not the answer.

"i never want this moment to stop." you blurt out, amazed by the empty highway.

"yeah," sighs seungmin, watching you for a just a few seconds to still drive safely, feeling his heart combusting at the way your hair blows in the breeze, "me neither."

jeongin as la di da by everglow

retro vibes and jeongin = 💫💫💫 yes yes yes. anyways, umm idk this song just makes me think of like the hated couple walking along the night city when it's the carnival or something and everyone's just staring at you and gossiping bc they are jealous,,but you two don't care bc you just love each other too much 🤪❣

you turn your head to kiss him in the line for the carousel, seeing the disgusted faces of your classmates gossiping somewhere in the distance.

"people are staring again, jeongin," you whisper, looking to the ground.

"they are just jealous, baby. let's go, it's our turn." he giggles, taking you by the hand and pulling you to the carousel, making you laugh in the process as you get on and get prepared to yell your lungs out on the ride.

yeah, jeongin was right.

they are just jealous. let them know how much you're enjoying yourself.

Stokes Song Wishlist

DISCLAIMER: I have no technical musical knowledge beyond just being a massive fan of music. I can't read music, I don't play an instrument or sing, I have no idea how to tell anything about key or pitch by ear or what any of the terms mean without looking them up. So, like if any of these don't make sense because of some musical technicality ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm including links to the Stokes performance if he's sung it but there's no good quality video/recording, otherwise the links are to the version of the song that gave me the idea.

Send me your recs and ideas, I'll keep updating and sharing. Last update: 4/23/23.

“I Am What I Am” from La Cage Aux Folles (x) Listen I’m still sort of a Broadway newbie and I just became aware of this song, but I deeply need to hear Stokes to sing this with his song-acting

"Cheering for Me Now" from New York, New York/Hamildrop (x) (x) always loved this song since it came out as a Hamildrop, but i just saw this show on Broadway (plot twist: Stokes was actually in the audience the night we attended !) and I can't stop imagining him singing it :))

“First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” (x) Johnny Cash edition. Yes, that link is to a Random Harvest fan vid because it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen, go watch that movie lads

"Waters of March" (x) update: I just got to see him sing this at 54 Below, and it just made me want a high quality album version so much more, but enjoy the video I took <3

"I've Never Been in Love Before" from Guys and Dolls (x)

"You'll Never Walk Alone" from Carousel (x)

"The Way You Look Tonight" (x) (x)

"Dancing in the Dark" from The Band Wagon (x) (x)

"Dream" from Daddy Long Legs (x)

Okay, how about any or all of the Fred Astaire/Oscar Peterson collaboration album The Astaire Story (x)

Any/all of the songs in this medley from one of his 54Below Diamond Series shows: "The Very Thought of You," "Embraceable You," "They Can't Take That Away From Me" (x)

“Nevertheless” from Three Little Words (x)

"I've Got to Find a Reason" and "Her Face" from Carnival (x) (x)

"Goodnight My Someone" from The Music Man (x) (x): I can totally picture Stokes singing this all Prof-Harold-Hill-grows-a-conscience-like

"I'm Beginning to See the Light" and "Lush Life" (x) (x): Stokes sang these at Boston Pops in June 2022

"Sky Blue and Black" (x) (x) (x) and "Love Needs a Heart" (x) (x) by Jackson Browne

"Little Willow" (x): submitted by PC :)

“Nature Boy” (x) (x)

“Over the Rainbow” with the intro (x) (x)

"As Time Goes By" (x)

"September Song" (x) this Platters version soars a little more

"You Don't Know Me" (x)

"Two Little Men in a Flying Saucer" (x): it's just got those Wizard Every Day vibes what can I say

and maybe like ALL the Christmas songs but especially this song: (my grandmother used to sing us this song called "Christmas Chimes" that she told us a boy at her grammar school in New Haven wrote for the Christmas pageant back in the 30s or 40s. It's so pretty and I've never ever heard it anywhere else. It's sort of like 'The Christmas Song'-type about home and memories. I have a video of her singing it ❤ and if you are actual Brian Stokes Mitchell you can have it lol)

I'm curious what you think about GCF in Tokyo. Not to be that person, but like, as a wlw, I can't watch it and not see all the flags. It's so obvious lol, but I'm still just flabbergasted by the whole thing.

Hey there, anon! Thank you so much for this message, and for the excuse to re-watch GCF in Tokyo for the seven millionth time. I'm sorry about how long I took to respond -- apparently, I have a lot of thoughts on this. 

Generally speaking, I really love GCF in Tokyo. Even completely out of context, it's my favorite of the GCFs (which is saying something, because GCF Osaka and GCF Helsinki are impressive competition!). One of my two top literary/cinematic kinks is the slow, subtle narrative arc, and GCFT pulls this off exceptionally well. JK pieces together tiny, intimate glimpses of life -- the cityscape at night, elevator buttons, the carousel in slow motion, the way Jimin sort of folds in on himself when he laughs -- with a really impressive precision. There's joy, there's melancholy, there's the weird sleepless haze of short-term travel, and there's Jimin, anchoring the whole narrative together. All emotional roads in GCFT lead back to Jimin. 

That's part of why the film reads like a love letter. GCFT is a portrait of a happy Jimin exploring a beautiful city and doing silly little dances in department stores and theme parks, but there's a lot of emotional exploration woven into and around the Jimin footage. And the thing is, my other top literary/cinematic kink is what I like to call the Dual Portrait Story, in which a narrator's attempt to depict another person yields a compelling self-portrait, as well. In some sense, this is kind of true of every GCF, since they all tell us something about JK's aesthetic preferences and artistic vision. GCFT and GCF in Osaka are particularly striking in this respect, because visually speaking, they both have a very first-person POV feel -- "here are the things that fell into my line of sight, after which I chose to trail my gaze" kind of energy. This is both a really neat cinematographic move, and an interesting element of GCFT's storytelling. We're getting a portrait of Jimin, but we're specifically getting Jimin as seen by JK. Critically, we're also getting Tokyo as seen by JK, and the concept of melancholy as seen by JK, and the concept of joy as seen by JK, and all of these things lead back to Jimin (as seen by JK). 

So, yeah, on one level, that's my take -- GCFT is a really striking portrait of a city, of a Jimin, and of a JK. It's really, really beautiful. 

Beyond that -- as I've mentioned, I think GCFT reads like a love letter. I don't necessarily mean that in any particular way. I don't necessarily think that it's intended as a public confession of anything super concrete, for what it's worth. I might just be projecting, but I've done the whole "closeted relationship" gig before, and while I made a lot of art that was very obviously influenced by my being queer and in love, none of it was intended to explicitly convince anyone of my relationship (and, of course, I was not in exceptionally high-stakes circumstances at the time, comparatively). That being said, I do think that it's a compelling and honest portrait of a really, really lovely dynamic. It also definitely has ~queer energy~, at least in my opinion. It’s kind of about longing, melancholy, and wordless expressions of affection, all of which feel pretty inherently queer to me.

And honestly, I think what’s especially striking to me is the incredible reciprocality of GCFT's softness. There's obviously the staggering care with which JK depicts Jimin, but there's also the matter of Jimin's reactions to JK. There are moments where Jimin's aware that JK is filming him (when he's dancing at the department store, or pulling silly faces in a taxi), but there are also moments that seem somehow less intentional (Jimin laughing with his eyes closed on the teacup ride, or asking a store employee for directions, or caught in the security footage of the elevator). In all of these, we see different sides of how Jimin and JK co-exist, and it's lovely. They're lovely. I'm really, really grateful that JK chose to share these glimpses of their world with us.