#it's a bad idea but i have to finish a presentation tonight anyway
Text
Version 3.3 Events Preview - Phase I
Hello, Travelers~ Version 3.3 is coming!
Let's take a look at what kind of events will be in this new Version update~
#genshin impact#genshin impact updates#official#genshin impact news#events#genshin impact 3.3#i think i'm gonna end up staying up for drip marketing this time and just running on 5 hours of sleep#it's a bad idea but i have to finish a presentation tonight anyway
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
BAD IDEA RIGHT? BEST FRIEND'S DAD!TOJI for KINKTOBER 2023!
DESCRIPTION: you and megumi are old friends, but a recent development (called growing up) has made you aware of just how hot his dad, toji fushiguro, really is. you sit on your desire for years until one night, you get an idea.
PAIRING: best friend’s dad!fushiguro toji x reader
WC: 5.1k whoops!
WARNINGS: 18+ MINORDS DNI. fem reader, afab reader, age gap! power dynamics, slight daddy kink, degradation, spit (like a lot it's a Thing here), oral (m! receiving), unprotected relations, slapping, gaping, size difference/size kink, creampie, toji is Nasty and a pretty bad dude lol
A/N: this is nasty and very descriptive i’m so sorry i really sinned here. anyway enjoy!
you and megumi have been friends since school. after all, it was inevitable that a friendship would form between the only two kids whose parents consistently forgot to pick them up after class.
nods of acknowledgment quickly developed into trading pokémon cards, sharing samanco waffles, cheating off each other during tests.
it was the most meaningful relationship you had in your life, the one other person who really got you and the situation you were in, and before you knew it, you two were being admitted to the same college, like you’d talked about all those years ago.
in the meantime, megumi’s dad had… mellowed out. from what you knew.
sure, he was still gone for weeks at a time, neglectful, irresponsible and womanizing, but one final falling out with their family seemed to have lifted a big weight off his shoulders, and he became more present in megumi’s life, less resentful. you knew he wasn’t a good guy, but you also knew he was trying, in his own way.
besides that, you also couldn’t help noticing other things about the man. you first started paying attention when you were in high school, always hanging out at megumi’s place to play video games or study.
toji would come home sometimes, smelling of smoke and sake, tonguing the scar on the side of his lip. plopping down on their shaggy sofa, legs spread wide, thick thighs straining the fabric of his pants. you would give megumi some excuse about getting something from the kitchen and just watch toji, lazily browsing channels with one hand inside his sweats.
it wasn’t a big deal. but it never quite went away, your infatuation growing with your desperation the more the man hung around. you did everything you could to get his attention.
you wore the frilliest, shortest skirts, left dirty dishes on the sink, showed up too late at night drunk and stumbling “looking for megumi”, acting out so you could try to get some reaction out of toji. but he never seemed to give you a second thought, annoyance being the closest thing to an emotion on his face every time your eyes met.
but you were no quitter. you knew one day you would get what you deserved. maybe not today, but… eventually.
you approach the fushiguro household’s front door, fishing out the extra key megumi had given you from your backpack pocket. you two had a study session today but he’d texted you telling you he’d be late and to just let yourself in, so that’s what you do.
with a sigh, you set down your laptop on their coffee table and sit down on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. before you can finish getting comfortable, a tall, broad figure is looming over your face and you almost jump out of your skin.
“what the f—oh my god,” you laugh in embarrassment. “you scared me, fushiguro-san.”
he doesn’t react, his eyes boring into yours. “me? you’re the one breaking into my house.”
you roll your eyes, pulling your legs up below your body. “megumi gave me a key. we’re supposed to study today, do you know where—“
“he’s with that itadori kid. don’t think he’s coming back tonight,” toji moves to sit down on the loveseat, turning the tv on. the old, boxy thing crackles to life, a boat race playing on the screen. toji adjusts his body in attention. “so you can fuck off back home.”
“um,” you start, but nothing else comes out of your mouth. you let your eyes wander all over his lax form, and you can faintly make out his abs below the raggedy shirt he’s wearing. it makes your stomach turn.
without taking his eyes off the screen, he addresses you again. “you know where the door is.”
an idea starts to form in your head. a really, really bad, tempting idea.
you discreetly take off your sweatshirt, leaving you in just your undershirt, no bra. you hope toji can scent the whiff of perfume you exude when you move, scooting closer to the edge of the sofa.
“nah, i think i’ll just study here. my parents are home today and they’re too… y’know.”
“not my fuckin’ problem,” he picks at his teeth, spreading his legs wider. your desperation is growing with each second he spends not looking at you.
you lift up your bag, something clinking inside. it's a bold move, but it's now or never.
“i brought booze. we could just share some and then i’ll go.”
that at least gets a reaction. the man snorts, finally glancing over at you from the corner of his eyes. you instinctively push your chest out, feeling eager.
“is that what you do with my son under my roof? get shitfaced in the house that i pay for?”
“well i paid for the vodka so i don’t see how that’s any of your business,” you make a point to pull out the bottle from your bag, swinging it around.
toji’s expression hardens, his jaw clenching. you know he doesn’t like to be challenged, absolutely hates smart mouths. you should be in for a treat.
“who the hell do you think you’re talking to, kid?” he stands up and snatches the bottle from you, turning it around in his — big, veiny, deliciously calloused — hand and laughing. “vanilla flavored? fuck, you really are a kid.” he says it like the realization excites him.
you can feel your face flush.
“are you gonna turn down free alcohol, toji?” it’s risky, dropping the honorific. you know he doesn’t like it, can see it in his face, but he doesn’t say anything.
instead, he unscrews the top with ease and takes a swig, grimacing at the taste. you watch as his throat works, adam’s apple bobbing.
his arms are huge, you can’t imagine he was ever shaped like megumi is nowadays, slender and frail. toji is tall and broad and big, with a permanent 5 o’clock shadow on his defined features.
he grabs two whiskey glasses and sets them down on the coffee table — no coasters —, pouring some vodka in both of them. it was most definitely not your idea to do straight shots tonight with megumi, but you will not go through the humiliation of asking for a soda to mix it with.
you’re desperate to have toji view you as the adult you are, no longer megumi’s awkward middle school best friend. you know you’ve grown up well; all you need is for toji to see it too.
you drink in silence for a bit, the only noises coming from toji being his disappointed grunts as the boats he bet on fall behind. you type away at your laptop, not really being able to focus with the heat rising within you.
he refills both your cups a couple more times, but makes no effort to talk.
you slowly but surely start to get antsy, your determination wavering and giving way to a funny feeling one can only experience by drinking with their best friend’s dad who they’ve wanted to fuck for like, ever.
so you bite the bullet and with the liquid courage flowing in your veins, you strike up conversation.
“y’know, toji, i’ve always wanted to ask,” his head lolls on his shoulder to look at you lazily and disinterested. “what happened to megumi’s mom? he doesn’t talk about it.”
“yeah, well. me either,” toji replies. you take a deep breath.
“you’re gone a lot. megumi is alone a lot.”
toji scoffs.
“thought that was what you were here for, hmm? megumi’s done well for himself,” he finally, probably for the first time in your life, gives you a proper look over, his eyes traveling all over your frame, tucked into the armrest of the couch. “scored himself a nice little bitch.”
you let out a strangled noise. you’re fighting laughter when you exclaim, “i’m sorry?! you think megumi and i have a—like, a thing?”
toji just shrugs, stretching one leg out in front of him. “i figured. why else would you loiter around my house so much?”
oh, if he only knew.
“no, no. it’s never been like that. megumi’s not really my type.” toji hums inquisitively, and you take that as a sign to continue. “i’m into more… mature guys.”
toji eyes you knowingly, but seemingly amused.
“that right?” you nod. “fuckin’ kid like you even know what to do with a man?”
you raise an eyebrow. you’re a sophomore in college, well into your twenties. he can’t be serious. “surely you know i’m not a kid anymore. surely you d—“
“surely my ass,” he exclaims and oh, he’s a little terrifying like this. toji downs however much was left in his cup and turns to you, pointing with the hand holding his glass. “you’re a full of shit, foul mouthed, rude brat. get the fuck out of my house, you’re pissing me off.”
you’re used to toji’s outbursts, not because you know him well but because every time you see him, seldom as it is, he always loses his temper, sooner or later.
“i think,” you take another sip, feeling loose. “your old ass wouldn’t be able to handle sex. like, actual sex, not those rich hags you who just lay there for you and give you money in the end. if you had to put in any real work i bet your heart would give out you slimey pi—“
you can’t finish your sentence because you can’t breathe, suddenly. your eyes widen, chest spasming as your oxygen gets cut off mid-sentence. toji has one of his huge palms covering your nose and mouth.
you look up at him with watery eyes but he’s not looking back, he’s chugging vodka straight from the bottle again.
he puffs his cheeks and moves his hand to cup your jaw, smirking around a mouthful of alcohol.
you catch your breath quickly, the hand that was clawing at his falling limply on your lap. toji holds your face, his grip unforgiving as he leans over you. his form is so, so much bigger than yours, towering over you completely, and all you can do is look up at him with a blank expression.
his thumb pries your mouth open with ease, the digit hooking behind your bottom teeth as toji’s face gets closer and closer. on instinct, you close your eyes.
soon, hot, stinging liquid is pouring steadily into your mouth. toji swishes the rest of the vodka between his cheeks — on purpose, you’re sure — before spitting it directly on your tongue.
it’s disgusting, everything about it makes your stomach churn, but it also makes you squeeze your legs together, chest rising and falling rapidly as you swallow without having to be told to.
“ya talk too fuckin’ much, brat,” he grumbles. ironically, you’re at a loss for words. “someone needs put you in your place already.”
“you,” your voice cracks and nearly fails you, but you’re determined. it surprises him, that you’d have something to say. that you’re still game. you can see it in his face, in the way his hands come off of you. “i want you to.”
toji’s expression is hard and unchanging. his fingers go back to your face, two of them slipping inside your lax lips.
your breath stutters as you inhale, instinctively sucking the digits and working your tongue around them.
toji grabs his cock through his pants pointedly.
“fuckin’ slut… that what you want?” you nod. he takes a step forward, knees hitting the couch. “is that why you walk around my house looking like a fucking whore?”
a whine dies in your throat at the sweet, sweet recognition.
he noticed.
he noticed and it bothered him and you really couldn’t bring yourself to care that he was your best friend’s father right now because he was tenting his sweatpants and your mouth was watering at the sight.
“please…” you paw at his waistband, pulling on the drawstrings. toji laughs at your desperation, voice growing gruff.
he buries a hand in your hair, fingers closing around your locks tightly and making your eyes sting with tears. slowly, he pushes your face into his crotch, so close that you can feel it pulsing, can feel every ridge, can feel that he’s not wearing any underwear.
god, you can smell him, and it makes your head spin, your mouth huffing out hot breaths and wetting the front of his pants.
you hook your fingers in the back of his sweats and pull until they’re down tight around his thighs. you have to maneuver the fabric over the head of his erection, earning a hiss from the man towering over you.
his dick springs up, slapping you in the face and leaving a smear of pre across the bridge of your nose. you think toji snorts at that but you can’t be sure. you’re too mesmerized.
he’s so, so big, the skin darker and flushed, tight, heavy balls and the head, angry red, peeking out from the foreskin.
your throat goes dry at the thought of it inside of you, inside any of your holes, because you know it’ll destroy you forever. and you want it.
toji doesn’t have the appeal that most men his age do to most girls your age. he doesn’t make you feel safe, he doesn’t offer financial support, he doesn’t care about your well-being, he doesn’t have his shit together. and to make matters worse to you, he’s your best friend’s dad, who your best friend doesn’t even like that much, whose presence has been totally indifferent to megumi for most of his life.
it makes you burn in shame to know you’re about to have a man 25 years your senior in your mouth.
you readjust your position on the couch so that you’re sitting on your knees, angling your face with his cock. it’s curved, pointing up, and you wonder how much of it he’s gonna wanna stuff down your throat. judging by the pure evil glinting in his eyes, it’s gonna be as much as possible.
you take a deep breath, steadying a hand around his length. it’s concerning that you can just barely close your fingers around him, but you put that thought aside to focus on pulling the skin down gently so you can wrap your lips around the tip.
toji sighs in relief, his grip in your hair tightening.
you begin to work your head up and down, licking the underside of his cock to gather up saliva.
“thaaat’s it, what a good little bitch. got a sweet little mouth on ya,” he whispers, hips thrusting slightly to work his cock further into your mouth. “yer gonna take all of it? or are ya all talk?”
you whine, gripping the base and sliding further down his length. he’s already hitting the back of your throat, making your eyes water and your stomach seize. you pick up the pace, twisting your wrist rhythmically as you suck him.
“don’t swallow,” he threatens, forcing his cock deeper into you, the head sliding into the opening of your throat. “lemme see how messy this slutty face can get.”
you choke audibly, eyes smarting with tears, makeup smudging. you look up at him with furrowed brows in a silent plea of mercy.
toji’s having none of it.
he puts one foot down on the sofa, next to your legs, giving himself the leverage to start fully fucking your face now. he wraps both hands around your throat and thrusts his hips violently into your mouth, his thumbs pressing down to feel his length in your throat.
“ahh, fuck,” he throws his head back, reveling in your desperate gurgles. you feel like a fucking ragdoll, like a fleshlight, unable to control the noises you make or how much dick you take. “takin’ me so well. who taught you to squeeze your throat like that, huh? so fuckin’ slutty.”
you sob around his cock, nose buried in his pubes. he’s impossibly hard, impossibly wet as thick strings of spit and pre hang from your lips, dripping down to his balls, falling to the floor.
toji keeps fucking your throat relentlessly, granting you mere seconds between thrusts to inhale a desperate breath that immediately starts to burn in your lungs.
he’s a fucking sight though, above you. chin tucked into his chest, veins bulging and biceps flexed, nostrils flared as he watches you devour him.
he pulls out suddenly, leaving you choking for air. tears stream down your face, spit bubbling out of your nostril. you look all wrong, like you’d been put back together by someone after being utterly demolished.
“open your mouth,” toji orders. you obey and he grabs his cock, slapping the head against your tongue a few times. he slides his length in and out for a bit before he starts jerking himself off. “suck my balls.”
you take that moment to swallow down the saliva that had pooled between your teeth, tucking away the wet strands of hair that frame your face.
toji’s lifting his cock towards his belly, fisting the head and flicking his wrist. he looks at you expectantly, and you understand it’s time to prove yourself once again.
you place a gente thumb right below his shaft, where his sack hangs. your tongue dips in between his balls, shyly at first, just slightly tracing the shape of them before you pop one into your mouth.
toji groans, the hand on his cock gaining speed. you squeeze your thighs together; you’re so wet that it makes you uncomfortable. you lean forward on your knees, steadying yourself with your palms planted firmly on his thighs.
you’re sucking his balls earnestly now , one then the other, then both at the same time, angling your head up and working your tongue up and down the wrinkled skin.
toji’s loving it, maybe more than the blowjob, and it makes you feel like a toy all over again, in an even more humiliating way because now you’re not even allowed to touch his cock, he’s just getting to use your mouth anywhere he wants.
it’s so fucking hot that it makes you dizzy. you hollow your cheeks, giving his nutsack a good suck before gingerly lifting his balls. you sneak a glance up at toji, hoping to catch him by surprise when your tongue dips even lower, approaching some pretty controversial territory.
it works. his breath catches in his throat and his knee kicks out instinctively.
he grabs your hair immediately, pulling you away from him.
“fuck,” you look up at him smirking, lips smeared with saliva and snort. but you don’t even care how debauched you look right now, as long as you can keep the upper hand. “you’re a nasty little bitch, aren’t ya?”
he leans down to kiss you deeply, messily, inhaling loudly through his nose. toji finishes stepping out of his sweatpants and pulls his shirt over his head, revealing what you’d been imagining for so many years.
you run your hands over his chest, his abs, down his hips, his v-line. he’s so fucking hot, got bulging muscles you didn’t even know existed in the human body, and scars you can’t even fathom the origin of.
he stares at you, looking bored. “get up.”
you do, legs shaking and prickling with pins and needles. now you can fully feel the scope of your arousal, how your panties stick to your core uncomfortably, how the wet tops of your thighs rub together.
toji sits down on the sofa and you waste no time getting on his lap, clawing at his chest and leaning in for another kiss. he’s unforgiving even like this, so much bigger than you, his hand on the back of your neck and his mouth on yours.
“arms up,” and when you comply, he’s pulling your tank top off. “good girl.”
you shiver, instinctively wrapping an arm around yourself. toji tsks at that, easily taking both your wrists in one hand and pinning them behind your back. he grabs your tit with the other, popping as much of it as he can in his mouth.
you groan, fighting against his grip to get your hands on his hair, his shoulders, anywhere. toji relentlessly sucks on your nipple, nibbling and circling it with his tongue.
when he pulls off, he lands a swift slap across your boob, ripping a groan from you.
“such a good fuckin’ slut, look at that body.”
he slaps your ass, this time, tugging your shorts over your butt. you help him get it off of you and then, finally, you’re straddling toji’s cock, no layers in between you two, just your dripping core on him.
you think, belatedly, condom, but then toji is pulling you in for another kiss and for all you know megumi could come home any minute and you wouldn’t want to waste time like that. or so you tell yourself.
his hands guide your hips to grind over him, soft mewls coming out of you and being buried into the crook of his neck.
“pretty little girl, gonna ride me? hmm? gonna ride this old man’s cock?” you whine, nodding.
you press your front against his so you can lift your ass up and guide the tip into your entrance. you don’t expect to be able to take it all, but at least like this you can control the pace and how much of it is going into you, the only thing keeping you from panicking at the sheer size of him.
the head of toji’s cock doesn’t slip inside so much as it pops inside, the ridge locking just past your opening.
it’s too big, and even though you’re soaking wet, it’s still a stretch. you both groan in unison and you realize, this is it. this is your fantasy, you’re fucking toji fushiguro, megumi’s dad, your best friend’s dad.
your legs tremble as you hold yourself up, too soon to sink down more on his cock. toji’s playing with your nipples but you have a sneaking suspicion his patience isn’t going to last much longer.
you give it a valiant effort to take more in and it feels like being ripped in two. you clench your jaw, a bead of sweat rolling down your temple.
“fuuuuck, so fuckin’ tight,” toji spreads your ass cheeks with both hands, rubbing the thin skin where you two are connected. he thrusts up, feeding your poor pussy more of his cock, and you let out a scream. “take it, c’mon.”
“unghh—can’t, toji, hang on—“
“‘course ya can,” he fucks up into you again and you sob, nails raking down his chest. he hisses and slaps your ass in punishment. you realize you might really cry.
“i can’t, it’s too big, too much—“
“shhh,” in an uncharacteristic display of affection, toji kisses the furrow between your brows, snaking a thumb between you two to rub your clit.
you throw your head back, body torn between seeking more pleasure and running from the pain. you can hear how wet you are as toji fucks in and out of you, your plush walls hugging him so well, weeping around him.
he speeds up and you bury your face in his chest, moaning wantonly into his skin. toji lets out staccato grunts, working his cock further into you with each thrust.
“any scrubs your age givin’ it to you like this?” he breathes out, grabbing your ass hard and moving it up and down his length for you. you whine, drooling on him. “yeah, that’s right. fuck, take it, that’s a good girl.”
“ahh, toji—“
“that’s not my name, whore,” he fists your hair and drags your head back until your eyes meet. “try again.”
“fushiguro-san—“ that earns you a hard slap on your ass. you yelp — wrong answer.
“toji-sama—“ another slap, and this time he grips the reddening flesh viciously. you whine, squirming in his grip.
“little braindead cumslut,” he wipes a tear with his thumb. “who’s fucking this tight pussy right now? huh? tell me who's ruining this slutty cunt.”
“d—daddy?”
toji smiles, humming, his grip on you softening as he leans in for a kiss. “that’s right, sweetheart. show daddy how much you want it.”
it’s amusing to toji, you know it. he just wants to humiliate you because he’s aware of how badly you’ve wanted this. but it does something to you, it’s serious to you, it’s so fucking depraved and sexy to you.
he lifts you up with ease and lays you back down on the couch. you feel so empty suddenly that it makes you want to cry, like toji has already carved a home inside of you for his cock that no one else will ever be able to fill.
he wastes no time getting on top of you, hooking a hand under your leg and lifting it up onto his shoulder. your eyes widen immediately, a protest dying in your tongue. this position… his cock… it’s, god, it’s gonna be—
toji plunges in in one violent, perfunctory thrust. you let out a scream, your heel kicking toji square in the back as your body rises up from the couch. he’s all the way inside now.
you can feel him bruising your cervix, his balls, wet with a mixture of the two of you, slapping against your ass, his hip bones drilling into you.
“you’re so deep,” you look at him with panic in your eyes, chest gone cold at the overwhelming pleasure. “you’re so deep.”
toji laughs, pulling out to spit on his cock. he grabs your ankle and sets it on his shoulder. “yeah, baby, daddy’s all the way inside now. feels good, doesn’t it?”
“fuck. oh fuck,” you let out shaky breaths, allowing toji to lay more of his weight on top of you. your knee is by your head now and somehow in this position his cock seems to hit even deeper, to curve up exactly in the right spots that have you struggling to breathe. “you’re gonna break me.”
“takin’ me so well. just a natural slut aren’t ya,” he’s fucking you so fast now, wet, slapping sounds resounding across the whole house.
there’s a thick creamy ring at the base of his cock, frothy and bubbly with how much you’ve been gushing for him. toji presses a thumb against your clit and rubs tight little circles, making you squeeze against him like a vice.
he grunts, speeding up his movements.
“so sensitive, this cute little pussy. you a virgin?” he slaps it a few times, your wetness sticking to his fingers with every pat. “gonna cum soon, whore?”
you whine, nodding. you wrap both arms around toji’s neck and pull him closer, open mouth awaiting expectantly.
toji grins, spitting onto your tongue before leaning in to suck it.
“toj—daddy,” you moan against his mouth, “daddy, i’m close.”
you don’t recognize your own voice. it’s slutty, desperate, pitchy, juvenile. it's too far gone.
toji works your clit over and over again, fucking you harder than you’ve ever been fucked. he splays a hand over your stomach, kneading the place where his cock is nestled inside of you and hitting a spot that makes you lose control of your body and words.
“ah, ah, ah, oh god toji fuck daddy make me cum, please please can i cum—“
“oh, fuck,” his thrusts start to become erratic and you know he’s close too. you clench around him, one leg wrapping around his hips to make sure he stays inside until you're done. “cum on daddy’s cock, come on. make a mess, little girl.”
you throw your head back, burying it into the pillows as your entire body thrashes with your orgasm. you clamp around him so hard that you can't even tell where he ends and you begin.
toji takes no mercy on you, his messy cock plunging in and out of you fast.
“gonna fill up this pretty pussy, yeah?” you shake your head desperately, one hand punching his chest. he can’t finish inside of you, right? but why do you want it so bad? “no no no, don’t fuss now baby. you want daddy’s cum inside you, don’t you? wanna give megumi a baby brother? fuck yeah i know you do fuckin' take it whore fuuuuck, fuck i'm coming—”
he thrusts once, twice, three more times, knocking all air out of your lungs and the most ridiculous moans out of your mouth before he’s spilling into you, locking your legs like a fucking pretzel and biting down your neck.
you can feel it pulsing, spurting inside of you. you can feel both your heartbeats in your abused cunt, both of your juices combined and oozing out of you.
once you catch your breath, toji pulls out of you languidly, with a yawn. you two made a fucking mess, a sticky puddle on the couch right below your ass.
toji eyes it disinterestedly, much like how he’s eyeing you right now. your sweaty, messy, fucked out self, nearly melting on the fushiguro household’s sofa.
“ah. are ya on the pill or what?” he asks, like he just now remembered. after a few seconds you nod, a little incredulous. “heh. good.”
you slowly sit up, reaching for your sweatshirt to at least cover yourself up. you sneak a hand down to your cunt, fingers sliding through the mess there to dip inside you.
fuck, you’re gaping. toji well and truly ruined your pussy. it makes you panic a little bit, but it also makes pride swell within your chest, knowing you took it, all of it.
toji finally addresses you.
“i’m gonna go take a shower,” he looks behind his shoulder, sighing. he points at you. “we left the fuckin’ tv on. if this shit racks up my bills you’re gonna have to pay me back.”
you guffaw. “me? pay you how?”
he smirks.
“got one more hole i haven’t wrecked yet, dont’cha?” he flicks your forehead. you just sit there, incredulous, trembling legs, halfway to horny again. from the bathroom, toji calls out, “let yourself out. oh, and leave the vodka.”
A/N: lmfao! i got nothin to say in my defense. reblogs r very much appreciated
#✩.toji#✩.kinktober#toji fushiguro smut#toji smut#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk kinktober#✩.tw daddy kink#✩.tw age gap#toji zenin#toji reader smut#✩.petra.doc#toji fushiguro x female reader#toji x female reader
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
Sheep and Wolf
Authors note: omgg, it's been almost an entire year since I've posted a Toji fic, but here he is!! Back in the flesh, he returneth! I hope you all enjoy it!! <33
Warnings: 18+ nsfw, smut, fluff, creampie, kissing, pet names, angst, Christopher Nolan, blood, guns, mentions of bandaging a wound, Toji being old
Toji, who calls you while you're at school, chuckling into the phone when you complain about your professors and the schoolwork you've got to finish by the end of the week.
"I'm still havin' you watch that Christopher Nolan film tonight," he teases, and you can hear his smirk on the end of the line.
"Noooo," you whine, "you're gonna torture me with your film bro shit on top of my homework?" You sigh, and you can hear him laugh, "doesn't mean the film is gonna be any better just because I'm being forced to watch it."
"Yeah, yeah, kid," tojis voice deepens some, and you find yourself smiling at the rasp of it, "now go learn something."
He can hear you giggle on the other end before the line clicks off, and he turns back to looking over folders for his next mission.
—
Toji, who rolls his eyes when you get amped up at night time. Too excited and too happy to fall asleep.
You're wiggling around under the covers until a firm hand grounds your thigh to the mattress.
"M'kay, I think that's enough." Toji warns gently, scrolling through his phone with his other hand. "It's bedtime."
Your idea of "bed time" lasts momentarily before you're shuffling yourself under the covers and wiggling about as you giggle.
You've come to learn that Toji is a very patient boyfriend, but his limits still exist in full, and they become very apparent when interfering with his usual bedtime schedule.
"Y/n," he puts his phone down to watch your hump of sheets and pillows stop at his voice, "what did i just say."
You sheepishly crawl back up to the top of the bed and go to sleep.
—
Toji, who comes back home, stumbling up the wooden stairs, scraped, torn, and bloodied.
The sound of stairs weaning under his unsteady steps pulls you from your sleep to find him slumped against the railing of the wall, pressing his hand to his side.
"Oh my god, toji!" You make your way to him, kneeling on the step above him to look him over. "What did you do, oh my god," You pull his arm over your shoulder to help him stand, and he hisses through his teeth.
"I didn't do shit, not my fault i didn't know the asshole had a fuckin' gun."
Once to the master bathroom, you sit him on the edge of the tub, peeling his shirt up to assess the bloody wound.
"Is it..?"
Toji shakes his head tiredly, waving you off to grab the rubbing alcohol from beside you.
"Nah, I fished the bullet out on the way here." He pulls the collar of his shirt into his mouth in preparation.
You scoot yourself back some to watch him pour the isopropyl over his bloody skin. This was his field anyways, you'd decided.
"Fuck!" Toji groans, throwing his head back.
Working quickly, you move back to help clean the wound with water from the tub before wrapping his stomach with guaze.
He passes out on the edge of the tub, and you stay with him until morning. It'd become a semi-regular routine in his area of work, though the first couple of times you'd been so terrified and he'd felt so bad that the next day after the event you'd have a newly wrapped present on the kitchen counter.
The presents now are that he even makes it back at all.
—
Toji, who fills you so well, you sob.
His cock stretches you open and runs along your gummy walls, thick and girth length sends a pulse of pleasure through your cunt.
"So fuckin' tight. Shit m'gettin' close." Toji groans, kissing up the side of your neck.
"Wanna have your baby," you sob, pulling at his thick raven hair.
Toji chuckles at that, pulling back some to gently cup your cheeks in his hands.
"No, y'dont." He kisses the soft of both cheeks and then your nose and then your lips. "Don't wanna be stuck with his old man forever, do you?"
You giggle through heavy tears, and he holds you tighter to him. A large hand strokes over your head as he pumps into you.
"You're doin' so good." He kisses you, pulling back to rest his forehead to your own, "you're such a good girl."
His thumb strokes your clit and the other presses your knee to the bed, holding you open.
"Sweet angel."
And when his heat fills you, you bite into his shoulder and cum. Gummy walls squeezing around his girth and pulling him in.
—
Toji, who lies with you on your balcony, whispering how much he loves you under the stars after a long week.
"No, that one is big dipper." You laugh, falling back to his chest.
"Sorry I'm not a fuckin' nerd and spend my free time drawin' magical pictures in the fuckin stars." Toji sighs.
"Hey!" You hit his chest, "they're not magical. They're literally right there." You look back up at the sky again.
"Mhm, sure."
The cool breeze of the night blankets the two of you from your shared apartment balcony. It sings and howls through the trees.
Toji's hoodie is soft and envelopes you in its warmth against him. The material thin enough for you to hear his heartbeat through his own shirt.
There's a gentle beat of silence where Toji strokes his knuckles over your cheek back and forth.
"Know I love you, right, kid?" He asks.
You nod against his chest, and you can feel him nod back.
"You're a good girl."
—
Toji, who's age, catches up to him in cruel and unkind ways.
It starts small, him squinting to read the menu print when the two of you go out. At first, you had teased him about it, and he had pushed you with a heavy eye roll.
Then it turned to squinting while watching TV and reading books and driving, so he got readers and contacts.
Sometimes, his age is ridden in late night returns to home. He hardly makes it up the stairs, and there's evidence of his hardship written into grooves in the railings and the light stripes of wood that've been bleached time and time again from his blood.
At others, it's in far more relaxed ways.
When his hair turns a salt and pepper mix that he's no longer able to trim away to ensure his youth. Rather, the white and greys start at the roots now, speckling throughout his thick raven tufts.
And sometimes, it's in the way he rolls the two of you over. Forcing you on top of him as he fills you to the brim. He holds you by the hips, helping to guide you along the length of him at your own pace.
—
Toji, who calls you, choked up on the other line, and you know he won't be coming home.
"I want you to–"
"Toji, please tell me what's going on," you sob, the sound of rain and his shaky pants fill the line.
"Goddamnit, y/n! Listen to me!" He scolds you, and you hang on the tip of every word. Relishing in the realization that it might be the last time you speak to him. The last time he speaks to you. The last time he'd ever have to calm you down, get frustrated with you.
"Toji," you weep, sobbing into the sleeve of his hoodie.
"Honey, I need you to listen to me." He groans on the other end. "You remember the key to the safe?"
You nod, sniffling into your arm, stifling a wale.
"Y/n?"
"Yes!" You cry.
"Good girl, good."
And it almost feels as though he's there with you. Holding you to him and whispering sweet nothings into your hair as you cry in his arms.
Almost as if you'd wake up, and everything would go back to the way it was that morning.
"I want you to take everything and call Nanami." He waits a beat, "you hear me, sweetheart?"
"Yes, yes," you cry through a shaken nod, "I'll call Nanami. I promise."
"He'll help you." He hisses, "you're gonna be okay, baby." He tries to soothe you.
"When will I see you? Are you coming with me?" You ask pitifully. As though you don't know. As though he won't lie to protect you. As though asking the question might tear the fabric of your reality and pull you back to last night when he pulled you into his arms to sleep.
There's a soft moment before he stumbles over his words, "i– you don't need to worry about me, kid." He sighs.
He lets you cry for a moment, soothing you from his end.
"M'sorry I couldn't give you that kid you wanted or half the things you deserve. You're a good girl, far too good fr'me."
"Toji, please," you sob.
"Be good fr'me, okay?"
Your hand strokes over your cheek, mimicking his late touch.
"I will. I love you."
"I love you too, kid."
The line clicks.
#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#jjk fushiguro#fushiguro toji#fushiguro toji x reader#toji smut#toji fluff#jjk fluff#jjk smut
975 notes
·
View notes
Text
— SKZ ON YOUR BIRTHDAY
pairing: boyfriend!skz x gn!reader
genre: fluff
warnings: kissing, mentions of stress from work, food and fireworks, lmk if i missed something, not proofread.
word count: 1.2k
notes: it's not yet my birthday but, i just wanted to post something because it has been a whole month lmao. i hope everyone loves it! please don’t send in requests because i’m not taking any right now and if you wish to see more of this posts please reblog, leave your feedbacks and put tags alright? thank you very much love ♡
𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡
he definitely took a day off even if your birthday was supposed to be a work day for him. and you’d say he didn’t have to but he insisted so you could celebrate it with him.
would make you wear a blindfold and take you to the place where he prepared all the set-up and other preparations for your special day.
it wasn’t a surprise when you knew it was the beach because he loves it so much, but the set-up was cute. a picnic mat and a basket filled with your favorite food.
basically it was a date, but it was extra special because it is your birthday. he even brought a small cake with a greeting and name on it as he lit the candle. would sing a song for you.
“i hope you like my idea of celebrating your birthday,”
𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪
will pretend to forget your birthday and tease you that it wasn’t your day.
would make you upset probably but when you were about to cry, saying it wasn’t a big deal, he will give in and pepper your face with kisses to apologize. but just had to forgive him because you can’t get mad. he will ask what food would you like to eat to make you feel better.
will watch a tutorial on how to bake the perfect cake for you after he bought all the ingredients the other day.
but of course, he would never forget the birthday present he hid beneath your bed and give to you once everything is settled.
will sing a birthday song along with your kids (his cats) while carrying the cake with a party hat on his head.
𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗕𝗜𝗡
you told him you didn’t want something big on your birthday and stay home with him, all relaxed and watch a movie to have peace. but you ended up in his parents’ house anyway after his mom forced him to bring you home.
his family loves you so much that they ended up preparing for your special day and you didn’t want to refuse their hospitality.
it was fun having dinner with his family as well as them, singing the happy birthday song.
changbin had to steal you away after that and cuddled with you on the couch while watching a movie. he would apologize for the set-up but you reassured him it was all good and you loved everything that happened tonight.
will kiss the top of your head, whispering a happy birthday with all the i love yous he could say.
𝗛𝗬𝗨𝗡𝗝𝗜𝗡
you thought it was just a usual date for your birthday. but your boyfriend didn’t let it be simple and all. he wanted to be different and unique.
he handed you a small box after finishing your meal in that one fancy restaurant you love so much.
you told him that he didn’t have to buy you a gift but simple things turned into a big surprise. a key was inside and he was all giddy and excited when he brought you to the door where the key is supposed to unlock it.
it was a big surprise indeed, a small studio he rented with a display of all of his paintings and sketches of you. a gift he’d always wanted to give.
you got emotional and at the same time thankful for the time and effort. it is him, your favorite artist, the love of your life, taking you as his muse. “happy birthday my love,”
𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗝𝗜𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚
you were having a bad day at work and arrived home, drained from exhaustion. you were upset and frustrated, disappointed and sad, all the emotions came in.
but seeing jisung cook for the first time and made a mess in your kitchen, made you cry harder. it wasn’t because he is making a mess, but his presence and making an effort to make your day good felt like comfort.
you saw the set-up and he noticed you were there, crying at the entrance of the kitchen. he suddenly felt bad.
“i-i was trying to cook for you but i made a mess,” he said as he looked down in embarrassment. “i’m sorry,” but you ended up hugging him instead. he asked if you were alright and you told him you were having a bad day.
you didn’t get mad at all, you were happy because he was there, comforting you and greeting you a happy birthday.
𝗙𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗫
he woke up early in the morning to surprise you and went to make the birthday cake first.
unfortunately you woke up a few minutes after he did and caught him making a mess in the kitchen with all the flour scattered on the counter, even on his face.
you laughed and kissed him good morning, asking him to let you help but he refused because it is your special day. tried to argue with him but he gave up and let you help him.
yet you still made a bigger mess and had fun with the icing cream while decorating the top of the cake.
even placed an excess cream on the tip of his nose so you could kiss it.
𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗠𝗜𝗡
he knew he had to plan everything and decided to take you to a day6 concert as a gift. surprised when all the members started singing happy birthday, directed toward you.
it turns out to be your boyfriend who had requested it and is friends with his wonpil hyung. will take candid pictures of you as you enjoy the moment and film your priceless reactions.
and while you were distracted, he showed up with your birthday cake, everyone was hyped and the band members were cheering for you to make a wish and blow out the candle.
you thanked seungmin for giving you one of the best birthday presents ever. he even kissed you in front of the crowd and hugged each other making everyone go wild.
but he made sure there was something else in private after the concert. “i prepared flowers, plushies, your favorite foods, and the movies you want to watch,” he smiled. “happy birthday, baby,”
𝗝𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗜𝗡
will definitely have a picnic date with you at the park and made sure no one was there, except the two of you.
it was nighttime, and you were just talking about random stuff while enjoying the view of the han river, the city lights that reflected on the water, and the stars that illuminates the dark sky.
he would excuse himself to go to the bathroom but in reality, he just went to give the signal for his surprise and get back to you with a cake, singing happy birthday with fireworks lighting up the sky.
you cried for how beautiful it was and hugged him out of the blue because of how happy you felt. but clumsy jeongin dropped the cake making the both of you panic.
yet you thought it was hilarious and had to laugh it out (he have another cake waiting in the car, just in case).
taglist : @wolfchanchan @inseonqt @soobin-chois @1-800-lixie @luvhyun3 @hanjiesgf @koovvie @lix-ables @starzzns @zoe8stay @gwynsapphire @cherryhanji @hwangsify @lixesque @seungly @sleepyleeji @comet-falls @kim-seung-mo @ppiri-bahng @myjisung @snow-pegasus @milkybonya @l3visbby @wilczachannn @yejis-biggest-simp @tangylemonade @hwan-g @awkwardnesshabitat @chrispychans @therealhyunjingf [ pls lmk if you want to be added or removed ]
#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fluff#stray kids blurbs#stray kids reactions#stray kids headcanons#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#skz imagines#skz fluff#skz reactions#skz scenarios#skz x you#skz x reader#skz blurbs#skz headcanons#stray kids drabbles#skz drabbles#bang chan imagines#lee know imagines#changbin imagines#hyunjin imagines#han jisung imagines#felix imagines#seungmin imagines#i.n imagines#skz au#stray kids au
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
## . . . [ birthday bitch ] !!
𖦹︎ genre: smut
𖦹︎ w/c: 2.9k
𖦹︎ cw: afab! reader (no pronouns specified), aphrodisiacs, handjobs/fingering, praise/light degradation, creampie, overstim, squirting
𖦹︎ a/n: im sorry for being 3 days late to posting for my bby’s bday!! im so bad with deadlines guys … but anyways happy bday kaeya i am forever yours 🫶
[ 10:12 AM ]
your plan for kaeya’s birthday was simple enough. a party tonight, invitations sent to all the knights. jean, lisa, rosaria, even diluc. cake, balloons, presents…
but it was your job as his lover to add a little twist to pick things up.
as you explained to him your proposals for the night, kaeya kissed your cheek and wrapped his arm around your waist as you walked through the market. “it sounds lovely.”
“but I also have a little game for us to play,” you finished, smiling at him in a way he knew wasn’t meant to be as doting as your previous words.
“oh?”
from your pocket, you pulled out a small unassuming pill. “you enjoy competitions, don’t you?” your eyes sparkled. “this is an aphrodisiac.”
kaeya nodded, peering at the pill, a smirk on his lips. what did you have in store for him this time?
“so how about this:” you pulled him in close, whispering so anyone passing by couldn’t hear. “I give you this tonight, for the party. if you can’t make it through without needing to relieve yourself, no birthday sex for you. but if you do…” you tugged his collar a little bit in the way you knew he liked. “i’ll give you the best fuck of your life.”
he looked at you, surprise on his face, before he switched to his cocky grin. “it’s my birthday, isn’t it? shouldn’t I be the one making demands?” his features hardened into a combative grin. “but it’s a deal.”
[ 5:48 PM ]
everything was going according to plan. streamers were hung in the party area, glasses of wine and champagne circled the area, and dim lighting coating the room with a cozy feel. kaeya stood by the island table, flipping a coin absentmindedly as he waited for you to finish getting ready.
he heard the pattering of your feet and turned to greet you with a suave smile. “dear, the guests will be here any second…” he stopped mid sentence to marvel in your beauty, eyes growing wide as his confident facade slipped away in the sight of his love. you finished clasping the necklace he had given you for a special occasion around your neck, fixing your hair and straightening your clothes. “sorry I’m late, I was rushing—” you paused, watching his eyes take you in from top to bottom with something hazy in his gaze.
“you look ravishing,” he finally spoke, pulling you in once you were close enough. “angels pray to look like you.”
you blushed a bit, containing your composure by placing the pill in his palm. “maybe it’ll be some more incentive for you to lose tonight.”
he rolled his eyes, popping the pill back with a swig of wine. “you’re almost too much to bear, making me suffer so much on my birthday.”
“well, if you keep your dick in your pants for the next two hours, we’ll see who’s suffering tonight.”
he opened his mouth to retort before there was a knock at the door, to which you smiled at him coyly, walking away to greet the first guest of the night.
kaeya shook his head, an amused expression on his face as he sipped from his glass again. he listened to you greet the visitors, wondering if maybe this wasn’t the best idea for his own sake.
[ 6:56 PM ]
this was definitely not the best idea for him.
a challenge that seemed easy in retrospect had greatly undermined him. he had obviously underestimated the strength of the pill, the ache in his pants, and his darling doll that seemed to be purposefully riling him up at this point.
the party had been wonderful so far. it was easy for him to take shots with lisa and rosaria, engage in discussion with jean and some of the other knights, and even work up some conversation between him and diluc. the first half of the party had been a breeze, tricking him into thinking the rest would be too. but he noticed his palms began to sweat. his cheeks were heavily hued, his body almost overwhelmingly hot. suddenly the gossip wasn’t loud enough to distract him from his thoughts, the alcohol not strong enough to stop him from looking at you across the room. and it wasn’t long before he had to hide behind the counter, readjusting his pants to hide the tent he could now barely conceal. he slapped himself lightly a few times.
get your head in the game. only an hour left to go.
he could win this. he just needed to get his mind off of things. unfortunately, you had other plans.
you knew kaeya well enough to tell he was struggling. the others around couldn’t sense anything was off, but you knew he was cracking. he was right where you wanted him.
you walked over to the counter he was conveniently hiding his lower half behind. your breath ghosted over the shell of his ear, fingers dancing on his arms. “sure you don’t want to give in yet?”
he looked away, peering at the guests to make sure none of them were watching. “why would I? I’m doing great.”
“really?” you crept under his arm, pushing yourself in front of him to brush your ass against his crotch.
he groaned a bit, looking back at the guests. “shit baby, don’t do this to me right now.”
“what, scared you’re going to lose?”
“you’re acting all high and mighty now, but an hour from now things will be very different for you,” he watched as you sent an innocent smile to a passing knight. “you might even be begging on your hands and knees for me to touch you.”
he lightly moved you away from him to release the friction you were building on his groin, blocking all the thoughts trying to break the dam and let a flood in.
“well, not if you don’t make it to the next hour.” you shot back to his comment, grinning.
“my, someone’s feeling bratty today.” kaeya raised his eyebrows at you, flipping his coin in the air and catching it with a quick hand. “we’ll have to fix that, won’t we?” he strode away, taking his wine glass with him.
as unbearable as this was for kaeya (no matter how much he tried to hide it), it was nearly torture for you as well. even though you hadn’t taken an aphrodisiac, watching him fidget with his slender hands and cross his ankles had you thinking of things you weren’t meant to at a birthday party. this whole situation was getting you worked up too, to the point where you eyed the clock every few minutes, waiting with baited breath for the hand to hit eight.
[ 7:32 PM ]
kaeya was seriously worried he might not be able to make it through the next half hour.
he found it to be abhorrent that he couldn’t even make it a full two hours on this pill, but it was starting to etch itself into the recesses of his mind. he excused himself to the bathroom more than once, only to splash water on his face or take a breather. he always made it quick, knowing your watchful eyes would interpret his absence as something else.
finally, things were picking up when they cut the cake, and kaeya almost felt relief knowing it soon would be coming to an end. this truly was a different kind of suffering. every time he thought of what he would do once the guests were gone, all kinds of images and ideas started crawling through him and he had to use the bathroom again to refocus.
meanwhile, you had to remind yourself to keep your eyes off of kaeya. because the longer you stared at him, the more you noticed his red tinted skin, the way his eyes looked clouded as if he was thinking of something else, and soon you were unconsciously pressing your thighs together.
when the clock struck 7:49, kaeya made sure his efforts to look tired were notice. maybe it was rude that he was trying to trick his friends into leaving, but he couldn’t stand this anymore. he knew in the next fifteen minutes, his composure would shatter and he would lose the challenge.
the first pair of knights left at 7:52, wishing him a happy birthday as he raised his glass at them in a thank you. slowly, a few more trickled out, and a few after that. diluc handed him a large box, conservatively wrapped, before he bid the two of you good night. kaeya’s heartbeat began to pick up, noting the last few guests in sight.
[ 8:00 PM ]
at 8:00, only lisa, jean and one last knight of favonius remained.
kaeya’s foot tapped anxiously, his hands shaking a bit around his glass. he wasn’t going to make it.
but to his luck, lisa and jean kissed the two of you on the cheeks, thanking you for the lovely evening. together they dragged out the last knight (who was almost too drunk to stand) and let the door shut softly behind them.
you turned the lock, letting the silence wrap around the two of you.
when you turned, kaeya looked like a fucking animal in heat. his tie strewn, the top of his shirt unbuttoned, eyes filled with a piercing lust. almost immediately he was on you, pushing you up against the door and locking your lips with his messily.
you let out a muffled sound in surprise, but fell into the softness of his mouth. he kissed you until he couldn’t breath, letting his hands finally wander up your body the way they’d been itching to all night long.
when he finally broke away, you slipped out from his embrace, walking towards the direction of the bedroom. but he grabbed you by your waist, letting you topple onto his lap on the couch.
he grabbed your hips, guiding them up and down against his erection.
you gasped, grabbing the pillow beside his head. “kaeya, l—let’s at least get to the bed—”
“no—fuck—I can’t wait anymore,” he groaned. “I’m sorry darling, but I can’t hold out for a single minute longer. do you know what hell you just put me through?”
you laughed a little bit. “archons, you’re needy. I thought you could at least wait to open presents.”
“you owe me something first.” he replied, letting his hips fall into a comfortable rhythm with yours. but soon the stimulation wasn’t enough, and he pulled you off of him and let you sink beside his body, already sheened with light sweat.
“touch me,” he almost demanded.
“well, that’s no way to speak to your saving grace.” you huffed, even though your hands were fighting to not do what he was asking.
“I’m not going to beg, babe.” he grinned at you. “birthday boy’s wishes, right?”
you let your fingers roam his abdomen, slipping down to palm at his bulge. he let out a sigh, too desperate to tease you. as you continued, you slipped off your clothes until you were left with only your panties on, a spot of dampness on them already clear. you unbuckled kaeya’s belt and pulled down his dress pants before slipping your fingers in the waistband of his boxers, letting them fall.
kaeya cursed under his breath, so relieved he couldn’t even speak. you felt as though you’d messed with him enough tonight—and it was his birthday.
you wrapped your hand around his erect cock, moving up and down his shaft. you collected the beads of precum, smearing them around his length as he fucked himself into your fist. every once and a while you’d swipe the slit of his tip, letting those cascades of breathy moans and your name fall out of his mouth. his head was tilted back, his arm covering his forehead as his hips bucked. you knew him well enough to know he was close, so you quickened your pace. to your surprise, he grabbed your wrist, stopping your movements. “what are you—?”
“mmph—fuck, c’mere.” he pulled you closer next to him, slipping his fingers down your panties to rub at your neglected bud.
you gasped as he let your slick collect on his fingers. “kaeya, it’s your birthday, I was trying to focus on you.”
“then I guess you don’t know how much I adore this pretty pussy of yours,” he replied, slipping your undergarments off fully. “now keep stroking me, sweetheart.”
you obliged, letting out little breaths and moans as kaeya’s slender fingers prodded their way into your hole. he leaned in closer, kissing along your jaw as his sinfully skilled hands made your legs shake a little. your hand continued to pump his cock just the way he liked, the heat of lust between the two of you palpable in your stares. “hah—baby, you’re doing so good for me,” he whispered.
“I thought you—mmph—told me I was gonna be on my hands and knees, begging for you to touch me,” you slurred.
“did I? well, things have changed. I forgot what a pretty thing you are to play with.” his body seized as you gave him a particularly pressured touch to his slit.
“ah, kaeya—” your hips bucked as he circled your clit with his thumb. “please, kaeya, please let me cum—!”
“and you said I was the desperate one, huh? didn’t take too much to have you begging like a slut.” he grinned, feeling his orgasm approaching.
his teasing ignited a different kind of desire in you. your hand stopped on his shaft and he sputtered in protest as you pulled yourself out from his grip. slowly, you lined yourself up, his tip nestling itself at your entrance before you sank down. the two of you let out twin moans as you wrapped you arms around his neck, leaning into him for support. he gripped the plushness of your thighs as you steadied yourself. “ah, so you’re an unpredictable slut now.” he noticed the way you tightened around him at his words, smirking.
you began to bounce on his cock with a squeal, kaeya’s grip strengthening on you. it didn’t take long for you to cum, since you’d been oh so close previously. you gushed around him as he toyed with your clit to help you ride out your high. the sight of your cum leaving a ring around the base of his dick made kaeya’s coil snap as he came too.
“look m-me in the eyes, angel,” he groaned, snapping you out of the drunkenness from your high. he smiled as you pulled in closer, your chests touching as you felt the heat of his cum pool through you.
“that’s my sweet thing,” he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and held your face in his palm. “so good to me on my birthday.”
he kissed your fingers and gave you a look equally as lustful as before. “but you gave me that pill, didn’t you? and I’m still not satisfied. so you think you can give me another?”
you nodded and he grinned, replacing his hands on your ass. you began to bounce again, crying out from the stimulation of his dick hitting all the right places. this angle was simply ecstasy, the way your clit kissed his pelvis and his cock brushed your cervix. it wasn’t long before the knot in your stomach twisted until it couldn’t anymore, and you came again. but kaeya didn’t stop.
he held your hips and guided you up and down with his own strength as you nearly sobbed from how overstimulated you were. he slapped your ass lightly a few times, purring about how good you were, cumming on his cock and still taking more.
“kaeya, kaeya—!” your cried, unable to even think of any other words. “m’ gonna cum again—”
he groaned deeply, watching his length disappear into you thrust after thrust.
“slow down—!” you squealed. “feels weird—m’ gonna, ah!” was all you managed to form before your eyes fluttered, completely dumbed down by kaeya’s dick.
“that’s right baby, make a mess for me, let it out.” he cooed in your ear.
the heat of your body skated through you as you squirted, crying out while your juices splattered onto his abdomen and both of your thighs.
his movements stuttered as he stared at your aftermath with wide eyes. the sight of you squirting on him, tears streaming down your cheeks was enough to have him cumming again, his voice strained and body almost erratic.
the two of you heaved breaths for a moment before you leaned into his chest, head foggy as he wiped the tears from your cheeks. though the scene was erotic, the warmth you both felt was anything but. it was tight strings of love, wrapping their way around each other until you were locked in close, tenderness dripping down the thread like it was doused in syrup.
“you never cease to amaze me, my darling.” he whispered, stroking your hair as you nuzzled into him and placed a kiss on his lips.
“happy birthday kaeya.”
#𖦹︎ : genshin 💭#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin imagines#genshin x you#genshin impact x you#genshin impact#genshin smut#kaeya x reader#kaeya smut#kaeya x reader smut#kaeya x you#kaeya#kaeya alberich#kaeya alberich x reader#kaeya alberich smut#genshin impact imagines
733 notes
·
View notes
Text
You Got This, Kid (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister Imagine)
A/N: I'm back! Please enjoy this imagine about what I've been going through with grad school applications and everything else these past few months. It's a long one (the longest I've ever written, clocking in at 23.7k words), so grab you might want to grab your snacks now. Finally, thank you for reading, and don't forget to reblog/like and comment!
Enjoy!
Okay, so maybe checking your email when you were out to lunch just trying to have a relaxing afternoon before taking a nap before work was a bad idea.
"Yeah?" Jay asked when he answered his phone.
"I'll know if I got into East Carolina by 6 pm today," you told him. You had been researching and applying to Ph.D. programs in clinical psychology since August and had decided to apply to five in total. It was currently January and you had yet to hear back from a single one. And, East Carolina University was your top choice.
"Oh, wow. Just take a couple deep breaths. I guess today was a bad day to have us get the new appliances put in, huh?"
"Yeah."
For Christmas, Hailey's Christmas present to herself and Jay's Christmas present to her were all new appliances in the apartment. You had no idea how they got around that since they were renting, but you had a suspicion that them both being cops had something to do with it.
"Well, the appliance people just left, so you can come home any time," Jay told you. "Think positive."
You rolled your eyes. "You know you're talking to the world's biggest pessimist, right?"
"It wouldn't kill you to be a bit more positive is all I'm saying."
"It's not like you're a ray of sunshine either, Jay."
"Fair point."
"Well, I've got two pages left of this chapter and then I'm coming home."
"Okay, drive safe," Jay told you and then you hung up the phone.
You knew you needed to get home soon because the more time you had to sleep before work tonight the better. And, you knew it would be hell falling asleep because you'd be counting down the minutes until you knew whether or not you got into ECU.
***
"This is fucking ridiculous," you muttered as you walked out of your room and into the kitchen.
"Language," Jay warned from his place at the kitchen table, case notes spread out in front of him.
"I'm 23, Jay."
"Fair point. What are you doing up anyway?"
"I can't sleep," you whined as you grabbed the kettle from the stove and began filling it with water. "And, why are you working when you're not at work?"
"I can't relax. You know that."
"Apparently I can't either," you muttered.
You felt like you were going to throw up from nerves. What if you didn't get into this Ph.D. program? And, if you didn't get into this one, what if you didn't get into the other four? If you didn't get into a Ph.D. program and a Ph.D. was required for your degree, then what were you going to do with your life?
You dug the fingernail of your pointer finger into your thumb to ground yourself. You knew it wasn't the healthiest coping/grounding mechanism, but hey, it worked.
The kettle was whistling, so you turned off the burner and grabbed a mug and a peppermint tea bag. Maybe the peppermint would help your nervous stomach settle. After all, Will told you peppermint tea was supposed to help with period cramps, so maybe it would help with this, too.
"You want some?" you offered. "I'm making peppermint."
"Sure, why not," Jay agreed.
Once your tea was finished you handed a mug to Jay. "I didn't put any milk or sugar in yours because you're a health nut."
"Now you sound like Hailey," he said and stood up to add a splash of milk to it.
"I'm gonna go read until I can't keep my eyes open," you told him. "The faster I fall asleep, the faster the time will go, so the sooner I'll know if I get in."
"Night, kid," he said.
Then, you made your way to your room and turned on a calming instrumental playlist on Spotify, turned on a lamp so that the lighting was dim, but enough that you could see, and then curled up in your bed with the book you were currently reading and your mug of hot, peppermint tea.
***
As it turns out, sleeping for a long period of time to make time go faster was easier said than done.
You tossed and turned for half an hour until your eyes were finally drooping while you were reading. And then, you woke every hour for the next three hours. The last time you woke up was 5:45 pm.
The email said you'd know your results by 6.
A knot formed in your stomach as you reached for your phone. You opened your flagged emails and located the one which had the link to the application portal. Then, with shaking hands, you clicked on it.
You took a deep breath and logged in.
You felt your heart beating out of your chest as you hit the tab that read application status.
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath and opened them.
Despite the contents of your application, we are a very competitive program...please don't let this deter you from applying to other or future programs...
Tears began to prick your eyes.
"Fuck," you muttered. "No, no, no, no."
You grit your teeth to keep the tears from falling and grabbed your phone and then left your room and walked out to the kitchen, where Jay was cooking dinner.
"Hey," you said quietly.
"Hey, you didn't sleep very long—" But then, Jay saw your face. "Oh no. ECU?"
"Denied," you told him as you continued to hold back tears.
"Hey, there's still what? Four other programs you applied to? And, you just emailed a school in Florida yesterday about how to check your application status, so maybe you got in there. Did they email you back yet?"
You shrugged, Jay was always the rational one though, so you opened your phone and once again navigated to your emails. Sure enough, University of Florida emailed you back with instructions on how to check your application status.
"They emailed me."
Jay nodded, but you didn't see because you were too busy hitting the link the school had sent you and then typing in your username and password.
When it loaded, your heart dropped.
There, in big, red, bold letters after application status, it read Denied.
"No," you choked out as tears began to stream down your face. "No, no, no no! If I didn't get into either of these, how am I gonna get into Wayne State because that's the best neuropsychology school in the country? And then I only have two left and—ugh!"
"C'mere, c'mere," Jay said softly and took a step towards you and wrapped his arms around you.
"I just- I worked so hard on the applications!" you sobbed as your tears began to soak his shirt.
"I know. I know you did, kid. It's their loss. There's a school out there for you."
"But what if there's not!"
"There is." He paused and then his parental/brotherly instincts kicked in. "Now, do you want to stay here and eat or go back to sleep?"
"Go back to sleep," you mumbled.
"Okay. I'll wake you up in two hours so you don't have to set an alarm. Sound good?"
"Okay," you muttered.
When you started to make your way to your way to your room, Jay said after you, "You go this, kid."
***
It had been two days since you learned you had gotten denied admission to East Carolina University and the University of Florida. You had thought about your plan and what you were going to do next. The only options you had come up with were (1) apply to PsyD programs (more clinical, less research, but also less funded) if you could find some with later deadlines that were still accepting, (2) go to school in Europe (but that might pose issues with licensing if you ever wanted to come back to the US and practice), or (3) take yet another gap year.
You had relayed these options to Will, Jay, and Hailey the night before when Will stopped over with some I'm sorry you got rejected from two Ph.D. programs so maybe this will make you feel better coffee from one of your favorite coffee shops before your shift last night.
"Morning," Jay said when you walked upstairs later that night. Despite it being 7 pm, since you worked night shift, this was technically your morning.
"Morning," you said, your voice monotone.
"You feeling okay?" Jay asked as you grabbed the container of cold brew from the fridge and then grabbed a glass.
"Physically, yeah. Emotionally...not so much."
"Good enough to figure out your next steps?"
Luckily, you had finished pouring your cold brew and put the cap back on the container or else you knew you would have spilled it everywhere at that question. "What? I'm trying to figure it out, Jay!"
Jay put his hands out in front of him in a calm-down gesture. "I know. I'm not saying you aren't, but well, I have access to tech at the district that you don't have that might make looking for more schools easier."
"Okay...and?"
Jay muttered something under his breath about having to spell everything out for you all the time...which luckily you didn't hear. "Me, you, and Will are going to the district to do some research on grad schools."
You cocked one eyebrow. "You're trusting Will to use state resources?"
"No. God, no. He's there to research on his own laptop and then read over some of your essays...if we get that far."
You nodded. This was all just so overwhelming that despite how grateful you were for both your brothers' help, that was all you could do.
"Leave in an hour?" Jay asked.
"Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Just, give me time to shower and eat something."
And by something, you meant a piece of fruit and maybe a granola bar. Seeing how riddled with anxiety and frustration and whatever other shitty feelings you had been feeling the past two days since you got denied from the only two schools you had heard from so far, your stomach hadn't been feeling that great and your appetitive was half as much as it was before you got your results...if you had an appetite to begin with. You felt like that last complete meal you had eaten was the night you had gotten those results and Jay had dinner for you. For the past two days, you had mostly eaten what you felt like you could stomach without feeling nauseous, which was mainly smoothies, fruit, protein shakes, and snack foods. You knew your appetite would come back eventually and your nausea would go away eventually, but for now, it was here and you just had to deal with it...much like you had to deal with the fact that you had to do even more work to get into grad school than you had previously thought.
***
"I brought pizza!" Hailey announced when she got upstairs and into the bullpen. You, Will, and Jay had been researching grad schools for three hours. Jay had found two that still had deadlines open and didn't require the GRE, so you were working on writing essays to get into those.
After you finished the first one, you emailed the essay to Will and he edited it. You figured he'd be the best one to edit these essays because he'd had to write them to get into med school.
While Will was editing and making notes in the margins of your essay on google docs, you opened the links to the other schools that Jay had sent you. And, you had added two more to your list (making the total you would currently apply to four at the moment) when Hailey walked in with the pizza.
"Thank God," Will said and quickly closed his laptop. (You thanked God that you were working in google docs and that everything automatically saved so that his edits wouldn't be lost.)
"You're literally just editing," you said and rolled your eyes at how overdramatic your oldest brother was being. "I'm the one who has to look over the programs, make sure they're a good fit for me, and actually write them, and then I have to email--" you cut yourself off as your eyes widened in realization. "Oh, God."
"What? What's wrong?" Jay asked as he entered the break room with Hailey since he had been out in the bullpen because he was using one of Intelligence's desktops.
"I have to email my profs and ask them if they'll write me more letters of recommendation."
You hated doing this part because it meant that the application process wasn't entirely in your control. One of the letters of rec might not be emailed to the right email address or the application system wouldn't let you put in a certain recommender and then you'd have to contact the school and--
"Y/N." You hadn't even realized Hailey had crouched down in front of you. "You need a break."
"But I can't! I--"
"Y/N, some of those schools don't have deadlines until March or April. You can take half an hour to eat," Jay told you.
But you couldn't; your stomach was in knots just thinking about all the work you had to do.
"I'm not hungry."
Will looked you up and down. Of course, your physical appearance hadn't changed in two days obviously, but he knew how stress held itself in the body, in a person's posture; in their facial expressions. But most of all, he knew how much stress he had gone through during his med school application process and how some of his classmates could barely eat without throwing up because they had been so stressed out.
"Y/N, we know you're stressed out. But, you have to eat something. You can't write great statements of purpose that are gonna get you into a program without food in you, kiddo."
You sighed. "But I feel like I'm gonna throw up."
"It's just nerves," Will reassured. "We just want you to eat something."
You looked at Jay, hoping for once he'd side with you and not Will. "One piece of pizza," Jay said. "And then, if you still don't want to eat, you don't have to. I'll even go get you a Sprite from the vending machine downstairs to help settle your stomach."
"And, we can talk about Outer Banks," Hailey bargained. "Me and Jay just finished the new season."
"I thought you guys had four more episodes to watch!"
"Just finished it yesterday," Jay said.
"We spent half of our RDO watching that," Hailey said.
Will just looked between the three of you. "I'll go get her the pop because I have no idea what you guys are talking about."
"It's a show on Netflix! It's really good! These kids are treasure hunting and--"
"Eat your pizza, Y/N, and then maybe you can convince me to watch it," Will told you.
You took a bite of your pizza while maintaining eye contact with Will, which made Jay burst out laughing and then Will stood up to go get your pop while muttering something about you being a creeper under his breath.
"I need a John B," you said after your second bite of pepperoni pizza. "The way he held Sarah's hand all the way up the mountain, just—ugh! I love it. At first, I thought I needed a JJ because of how he broke into Kitty Hawk for Kiara, but he's a little too crazy for me."
"Uh-huh, sure, that's why you chose John B," Jay said while rolling his eyes.
"What's that supposed the mean?"
Jay grabbed a piece of pizza and took a bite without even bothering to grab a plate. This caused Hailey to gently smack him on the arm and push a paper plate into his empty hand. He took another bite and then set the pizza on the plate. "I'm just saying, don't you like brown-haired guys more?"
"They're called brunettes, Jay. And, yes. But, how the hell did you even notice that?"
"Think of all the celebrity crushes you've had over the years, Y/N."
Of course, Will had chosen that exact moment to walk back into the break room with your pop. "Oooh, we're telling Hailey all about Y/N being a crazy teenager. I love this game."
"Like you didn't have a stash of PlayBoy magazines under your bed, Will!" you shot back.
"Did you..." Will trailed off as he looked at Jay.
You burst out laughing. "He never told me anything. But you just confirmed it! Ha!"
"Y/N's first celebrity crush was Zac Efron!" Will shouted.
"Technically, it was Troy Bolton," you corrected.
Hailey just shook her head and laughed at your banter.
"And then there was Bieber—"
"No, she liked Nick Jonas before him, remember?" Jay corrected.
"Oh, yeah," Will said. "There was Nick Jonas, then Bieber, then a couple hockey players, then 5 Seconds of Summer—"
"Specifically Luke Hemings," you butted in.
Jay laughed. "You really have no shame in this do you?"
"None at all. Continue, Will."
"And...I think that's it."
"And John B, from Outer Banks," Jay said. "That's her current one."
"Is he even a real person?" Will asked.
"Nope. Now, Hailey, if you were in Outer Banks, what character would you be?" you asked and then opened your Sprite and took another bite of pizza.
She thought for a moment. "Probably Sarah. Our dads are both pretty messed up."
She said it jokingly but also matter-of-fact. Despite this, Jay still gave her a sad look but quickly recovered to his neutral facial expression. (He knew how much Hailey hated people pitying her due to her past.)
"What about you?" you asked Jay. "Wait! You have to be John B because you have to marry Sarah and you and Hailey are married."
Jay let out a chuckle. "I mean, I guess, I was gonna pick him anyway."
"Why?" you asked.
He shrugged. "He's the leader of the group. He thinks things through more than JJ. And, I'm not as smart as Pope. Will would be Pope."
"Is that a good thing?" Will chimed in.
"Yeah," you told him. "Watch the show and you'll find out."
Will just rolled his eyes.
"Who would you be, Y/N?" Hailey asked.
"Me? Oh, I'd die in the first season. I'm not the kind of person to do crazy illegal shit."
"Oh, c'mon!" Jay groaned. "You gotta pick someone!"
"Fine. I'd be Wheezy. I'd still be helping, but not in like an illegal way."
"Fair enough."
The three of you continued talking about Outer Banks as you finished another piece of pizza and a breadstick, making the total you'd eaten while you were talking two pieces of pizza and one breadstick and, seeing as you hadn't technically had a meal since you learned about your first rejection, only snacks, you considered this a win.
You pulled your laptop back out and groaned. You didn't want to keep having to write essay after essay, but you knew you needed to because that was the only going to get into a school. Despite this, you still had that nagging thought in the back of your head that all of this was for naught and you were just going to continue to get rejection emails from all the schools you worked so hard to apply to.
You rummaged through your backpack, pretending to look for your chapstick, which you knew was there. Then, you groaned and stood up and walked to where Jay was once again seated at his desk in the bullpen.
"Jay, can I have your keys? I think I left my chapstick in your truck," you lied.
Jay fished them out of his pocket. "Here, but be quick. It's dark out."
You rolled your eyes. "You know if all of this works out, I'll be in a different state in less than eight months, right?"
"Don't remind me."
You just rolled your eyes again and made your way downstairs and out the back way to Jay's truck.
You quickly unlocked it and jumped in the backseat. You just sat there as your head spun with worry, each worry connecting to another like a spider connecting pieces of a web in your mind.
Will I have to stay at my job another year or God forbid forever because there's not much I can do with a BA in psychology?
If I don't get into a program this year, will I apply next year? And, will my profs even write me letters of recommendation next year because they won't have had me in class for two years at that point?
If I have to do this for another year, should I take a couple of classes next year so that I have other professors to write me letters of recommendation and so that I can show the schools I'm applying to that I'm still learning about the field I'm going into?
When should I start looking into schools and the process of going to school in Europe if I don't hear back from all the programs I'm working on applying to soon?
What am I going to do with my life if I can't get into a program?
You jumped when someone gently tapped on the window. Then, you scooched over so that they could open the door and come inside the truck.
"Jesus, Will!" you exclaimed when he was inside and had shut the door. "Don't do that!"
"Sorry, I would've texted you, but you left your phone inside. You find your chapstick?"
"Um...about that..." you trailed off and looked away. You knew that if you started telling him your worries, you'd break down and you really didn't have time for that as you just needed a few minutes alone and then you needed to get back inside to work on the stupid essays for these stupid applications because these other stupid schools didn't want you because you needed a stupid doctorate degree for you stupid career to make stupid money and have a stupid life.
Will nodded, quickly understanding that there hadn't been a lost tube of chapstick to begin with. "You know, I didn't match for a residency at first," he told you.
You turned to face him, even though you could barely see him because it was the middle of the night. "Really?"
"Yeah, and it was terrifying."
"But you're a doctor. You have to do a residency to be a doctor."
"Mhm," Will confirmed. "I had to do the SOAP process."
"What's that?"
"It's where all the kids who finished med school who didn't match to a residency try and apply for the ones that people didn't want or are left over."
"So, you got everyone's shitty leftovers?"
Will smiled and shook his head. "Basically. I never wanted to go into plastic surgery. It seemed so..." he trailed off while he searched for a good word to describe it. "Vain," he finally said. "Don't get me wrong, there are some people who need it because of accidents and things like that, but giving rich men's wives nose jobs, that's not what I wanted."
"So, what you're telling me is to go into another specialty if it's open? Even if I don't like it," you asked. If this is what he was getting at, his pep talk wasn't a very good one."
"Sort of," Will answered. "But, there's a bit more to the story. I always wanted to go into emergency medicine, so when a job opened up at Med, I jumped at it. So, even if there's roadblocks, you'll get the career you want; you just have to be patient. You need to be a doctor in clinical psychology for your specialty, right?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, and there's a lot of things you can do with a doctorate in clinical psych, right? You don't have to go specifically into neuropsych?"
"Yeah, I'll be a clinical psychologist with the doctorate so there's other stuff I can do," you confirmed.
"Okay. Then you get into a clinical psych program and you go from there. And, if you can't do your fellowship or whatever it's called--"
"Post-doc," you told him.
"Right. If you can't do your post-doc in neuropsych, then you can do it in another specialty. Once you make some money, you can always go back and do another post-doc, this time in neuropsych, okay? This whole process doesn't have to be linear to work out. And, honestly, the application part and getting in is harder than the degree itself."
"Really?"
"Really. Now, Hailey put on a pot of coffee when I came out here, so c'mon. Let's go drink some more coffee and look at more grad schools. Jay found some options in Arizona because we know you want to go where it's warm."
"Perfect." Will opened the door to get out and you scooted over to get out of Jay's truck next. "And, Will?" He turned back to look at you. "Thank you."
He smiled and gave your shoulder a squeeze. "Anytime, kiddo."
***
"You have actual food tonight, right?" Jay asked two days later, Sunday night, when you grabbed your lunch box from the fridge to go to work. "Not just snacks?"
You rolled your eyes. "Yes, Jay." Ever since your brother noticed you weren't eating full meals, he'd been on your ass about it. But, yesterday you ate like a normal person and so far today you have, too. "Shouldn't you be finishing the game and going to bed?"
"It's at intermission. It's—"
"Don't tell me! I'll watch it at work."
"Pretty sure those sites you use to watch it are illegal, but whatever."
"Shouldn't you know for sure if they're illegal or not?"
"Well, you're not on the dark web and you're not selling anything and you're not the one uploading the games, so I'm pretty sure I can't arrest you."
"Well, that's a good thing because if I get arrested, then I can't get into grad school...not that I'm sure I'll get in now, though."
"Hey, we found what? Six programs for you to apply to? You'll get into one. But, you better get going before you're late."
"Says the man who rushes to work every morning."
"Really, it's Hailey who holds me up in the morning."
"No, it's not!" Hailey yelled from the living room. "He's the one who hogs the shower!"
"Gotta go!" you said quickly and grabbed your keys from the hook by the door before you got in the middle of their arguing.
***
About half an hour into your shift, you got a phone call asking you to come over to another building to talk to a coworker.
"I have to go talk to Tia," you told your two other coworkers.
"Tia? What does she want?" your coworker, and also one of the veteran staff at your work, Tamara, asked.
"No idea. I haven't been over to that building since the beginning of last week, so if I did something wrong, I forgot about it."
"Okay, well, see you later."
"See you," you said.
Then, you slipped on your coat and buzzed yourself out of the current building, and made the quick and chilly walk to the other building.
"Hey, where's Tia?" you asked when you walked in and saw another one of your coworkers.
"Oh, hey, Y/N," she greeted. "She's in the office."
"Okay, thanks."
You made your way into the office where Tia was sitting at the computer.
"Hey, Tia. You wanted to talk to me?"
"Yeah. What's your problem with my schedule?" she asked you rudely.
You didn't have a problem with her schedule per se, you just had a problem with there not being enough coverage with her schedule. And, since you worked at every building, you'd have nights when you worked here alone—which you shouldn't be doing, but management didn't care—because she worked long shifts for eight days straight, and then the other six, it would usually just be you or someone else working here alone and you had brought this up to your supervisor when he asked if you'd come across anything you wanted to fix.
"I- I don't have a problem with your schedule. It's just that sometimes there's only one person here and it gets hard in the mornings." Since you worked with kids, sometimes when you were by yourself, you'd have to get them out to the bus stop and that made it hard to do because you couldn't leave all the other kids in the building alone while you went to do that, so you'd have to call other buildings to see if they had a staff available to come help you. Contrary to popular belief, you couldn't be in two places at once.
"Yeah. And that happens to me sometimes, too. But we do it. And now because of what you said, my schedule might get changed—"
"That wasn't my intention, it was just—"
"Can I finish?" You nodded. "And now my schedule might get changed and this is the schedule that works for me. You only pick up here, so if you don't like it, don't pick up shifts here."
Tears began to prick your eyes. "I get scheduled here. I don't pick up." You took a deep breath. "My intention was just to figure out a way to get coverage, not to have your schedule get changed."
"Well, maybe you need to tell your supervisor that you don't want to be scheduled here anymore if you don't like the way we do things over here."
At this, the dam broke. You frantically wiped at your eyes. "I'm sorry. It's- It's not this. I just got rejected from grad school and it's just everything. Sorry."
At this, she softened. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Don't let anyone here make you cry, not even me. It's not worth it."
You nodded. "Yeah. Can I- can I go now?" You asked while trying to stop the tears from falling. You didn't feel like walking out of the office and having yet another one of your coworkers see you cry.
She nodded and you quickly wiped your eyes once more and walked out of the office, just willing your eyes to stay dry until you got outside.
You sniffled all the way until you got to one of the buildings the kids used for gym class during the day that you knew would be empty because they were all sleeping. You buzzed yourself in and then quickly made your way to the bathroom and locked yourself in a stall.
You leaned your head against the door. "Fuck," you muttered.
Everything about the past few days came flooding through you and you began to cry so hard that you could barely catch your breath. And, you weren't even an hour into your shift.
Your breath was coming out in short bursts as you pulled out your phone to text Tamara and tell her that you were in the gym bathrooms because you needed a minute and that you'd be back soon. Then, not caring that this was a bathroom, you slid down and leaned against the wall and pulled out a breathing app on your phone that you had for times like this. You hadn't had an anxiety attack or whatever the fuck this was that was prompting your frantic breathing in a year and a half, but you had kept the app because you knew you might need it one day. Today—well tonight—seemed to be that day.
You were focused on your breathing—breathe in through your nose, hold, breathe out through your mouth—for three minutes before your breathing returned to a semi-normal rate. Then, you continued the breathing exercise for two more minutes just to be safe.
When you closed the app, you saw that Tamara had texted you and asked if you were okay and if she needed to come over there. You told her you were on your way back to your building now.
Then, you pocketed your phone and splashed some water on your face, and dabbed it dry with some paper towel. Your eyes were still red, but at least you didn't have tear stains on your face. After taking one last deep breath, you left the bathroom and then the building and began your quick and cold walk back to the other building and the coworkers you actually enjoyed working with.
When you got back inside, you told your coworkers what had happened and then Tamara asked if you wanted a hug, which you gratefully accepted.
You knew a bigger breakdown over grad school rejection was going to happen eventually, you just didn't think it was going to happen at work.
And, if the first half of January was anything to go by, you were in for one hell of a month.
***
"Well, look who's finally awake," Will chirped when you walked into the kitchen after waking up for your day...which was everyone else's night.
"I went to bed at 10 am," you shot back. "And I don't like to talk to people when I first wake up, remember?"
"Oh, yeah, that's right. The one time of day when you're actually quiet."
You went to flip Will off when Jay quickly butted in. "Y/N, there's leftover pasta in the fridge for you to take to work."
"And there's loukoumades for you, too," Hailey added.
"Hailey's my favorite sibling!" you exclaimed and then began to make your coffee as you drowned out the noise of Will and Jay trying to argue about why they should be your favorite sibling...well, mostly Will because Jay knew Hailey was his better half by a long shot.
Once you made your coffee and a bowl of yogurt and fruit for breakfast, you made your way back upstairs to your room to read for a while before you started getting ready for work.
***
When you took a sip of your coffee, your lips puckered in disgust. It was way too bitter and...you had forgetter creamer.
"Ugh," you groaned and then stood up from your chair. You were so cozy with your robe and slippers on and a blanket covering your lap that you almost decided to forgo your coffee, but who were you kidding, you needed that caffeine.
You grabbed your mug of now lukewarm coffee and made your way out of your room. You started down the stairs as normal until your slipper caught the edge of one of the stairs.
***
Jay, Hailey, and Will were all still sitting at the table, each enjoying a cold beer when they heard a thump, thump, thump on the stairs above them.
Jay and Hailey's reflexes kicked in just a hair faster than Will's and they sprinted over to the steps to see you laying on the landing of the stairs with coffee spilled all over you and your head against the wall.
You swear you had never seen Jay run as fast as he did then. He cursed to himself as he bounded up the stairs two at a time and quickly crouched in front of you.
"Can you move your arm?" he asked. You hadn't noticed that your arm was placed between you and the wall. You lifted up your arm and nodded.
"My coffee," you cried.
"You can make more coffee, Y/N. Did you hit your head?"
You nodded tearfully and Jay looked back at Will. Your two brothers traded places and Jay picked up your empty coffee mug—thank God it hadn't broken—and then made his way downstairs to grab the first aid kit and some towels. Hailey followed him to give Will room to work if needed and made her way to the freezer to grab an ice pack.
"Where'd you hit it?" Will asked you and you leaned forward and put your fingers on the back of your head. Will nodded and you put your hand down and he felt around the area and looked for blood. "No blood, so that's good. There is a little bump, though. Any dizziness? Nausea?" You shook your head. "Okay, good. But, I'm still gonna have you stay home from work tonight because those symptoms can have a delayed onset, so I don't want to miss something and then have you have to be rushed to the hospital while at work. I'll write you a doctor's note if I have to."
You were about to protest because if you called out now since it was only three hours until your shift, you could get written up. But, you'd only used a single one of your sick days out of the five you had and they reset in April, so you figured you'd be fine if you explained the situation. "Fine," you agreed. "Can I go back to bed then?"
"Nope. I want you to stay up for a couple of hours. It's not good for you to go to sleep right after hitting your head even if you do feel fine. After that, you can sleep all you want. I just need to see if you puke or not."
"She good? No hospital?" Jay asked since he and Hailey had been waiting at the foot of the stairs with supplies.
"No hospital. Just stay home from work and ice her head. Doesn't look like the coffee was hot enough to burn her based on her skin and her not telling me, but if she says anything, give me a call."
"I'm right here you know!"
"Oh, we know," Will said. "But, you're still under Jay's health insurance."
You rolled your eyes and then held out a hand for Will to help you up. He did and you made your way back upstairs and to your room to quickly grab a different pair of pajamas and then head to the bathroom to take a shower to get all the coffee off of yourself.
Then, you made your way back downstairs—carefully this time—and saw that Hailey had made you a new cup of coffee and had a small plate of loukoumades sitting next to it.
"After you eat those, you need to ice your head," Hailey told you.
"Uh-huh."
"C'mon, the boys are getting the tv set up for us."
"What are we watching?"
"I may or may not have convinced them to put on Outer Banks since Will still hasn't started it."
You smiled. "Yay!"
Then, you picked up your coffee and plate of Greek donuts and made your way to the couch where Jay tried to steal one of your loukoumades, but Hailey quickly swatted his hand away.
"You already had yours. Now press play, Halstead."
***
"Y/N, hey, wake up," you heard as you felt someone shaking your shoulder. In your sleep-addled brain, it took you a moment to process that it was Jay waking you up. "Y/N, can you hear me?"
"Mhm," you answered. "Wanna sleep."
"You've slept for at least twelve hours."
This got you to roll over and check the time on your phone. 5:37 pm. You had slept for over twelve hours; Jay was right.
"What time did you go to bed?" You went to answer, but then Jay stopped you. "Wait, any dizziness? Nausea? Blurry vision? You feel like your head is going to explode?"
"I feel fine."
"Okay. So, what time did you end up going to bed?"
"I fell asleep on the couch until three, and then I woke up and went on Tik Tok until five and then I went back to sleep." You yawned. "I shouldn't be tired! What the hell?"
"Just, get up and get moving around and then you'll probably wake up more."
Then, Jay left your room, but not without turning your light on which then forced you to either get up or get up out of bed and turn off the light and go back to bed. You were already up anyway, so you figured you might as well have a slow morning before going into your shift, so you decided to just get up and go downstairs to get some food and coffee.
After making yourself breakfast and a cup of coffee, you went to the bathroom before heading back to your room and saw that you had gotten a surprise.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," you mumbled and then grabbed a tampon from the cabinet under the sink. You had just gotten your period two weeks ago, you weren't supposed to get it again! But, at least the panic attack made sense now.
You left the bathroom to once again be met with Jay.
"You didn't puke in there, did you?" he asked. "You were in there for a while."
"Jesus Christ, let me guess? Will put you up to this?"
"Yup. He told me to monitor you closely since you slept so long."
"But you still went to work today and left me by myself," you said. "And for your information, I got my period. So now I have a reason why I had a panic attack at work the other night and I'm not just crazy."
You went to grab your food from the counter but were stopped from going up to your room by your brother.
"Whoa, you had a panic attack at work? Why didn't you tell me? Or Hailey? Or Will?"
Shit. You had forgotten that you just went straight to bed after that shift and didn't tell anyone.
You sighed and sat down at the table with your food and coffee instead of going upstairs. "Because I was tired after work and I went right to bed and then I just forgot to tell you. I journaled about it though."
"That's good. Do you still want to talk about it?" he asked.
So, you launched into the story of your night of being chewed out by Tia and then having a panic attack in the bathroom.
"She had no right to talk to you like that, you know," Jay said once you were finally finished.
"I know. And she's on my shit list for it." You would've said she's on my fucking shit list for it, but you knew Jay hated when you dropped the f-bomb. A year ago, he would've hated you swearing in any capacity, but now you thought that he was finally coming to terms with the fact that you were a grown woman and would swear whether he liked it or not and whether he heard you or not.
"I knew the mental breakdown from all this school stuff was gonna come sooner or later, but I didn't think it was gonna happen at work."
Jay nodded; he honestly had no idea what to say at this moment. Did he agree? Comfort you? Finally, he settled on a mixture between comfort and encouragement while you focused on blowing on your coffee to make sure that it wasn't too hot.
"Hey, you'll get through this, alright? Just keep applying. You didn't work your ass off in school for nothing. And, it's their loss if they don't want you."
You smiled. Jay was oblivious to some things, but he always knew just what to say when you needed a pick me up.
"Thanks, Jay."
"Anytime, kid."
***
You were going to lose your damn mind. You had all this stuff to do and submit and one of the people who said that they'd write you letters of recommendation for your PhD programs said that they're really busy and they might not be able to get to the ones for the PsyD programs you were applying to. And Jay and Will heard all your bitching about this. How fucking hard was it for her to change the date and the name of the school on the letter and send it in? Unbelievable.
You couldn't think of anyone and you were running out of time to get these in.
"Fuck," you muttered.
You heard a knock on your door. "Y/N? You still up in there?"
Shit. You forgot it was Jay and Hailey's RDO today.
"Yeah, why?"
It was only half an hour past the normal time you'd be sleeping anyway.
"Me and Hailey are going out for breakfast. You wanna come? Or we can bring something back for you."
"Bring something back," you said quickly. You were not in a state to be out right now because you knew the minute that you saw lots of people, you were going to have a full-fledged breakdown.
"Okay, I'll send the menu so you can tell me what you want. Goodnight."
"Night," you answered.
***
"I'm just gonna go check on her," Jay said when Hailey asked him why he was walking towards your room instead of their room once they'd gotten home from going out for breakfast. The two had planned on having a lazy day of watching tv on the couch along with a few beers. And, instead of going to change into comfy clothes right away, Jay decided to take a peek into your room.
The sight he saw when he cracked open your door broke his heart.
You were pacing your room and pulling at the roots of your hair while your breathing came out in short bursts.
"Hey, hey," Jay said quickly as he opened the door wider and made his way into your room.
You turned around at the sound of his voice. "I- I—"
"Don't try and talk. Let's just sit down, okay?"
You nodded and he gently placed his hand on your shoulder and helped lead to your bed.
You both sat down and Jay offered you his hand for you to squeeze. You took it.
"Breathing app," you told him through your rapid breathing. "On—" Breath. "—Phone." Breath.
"Say cheese," Jay said as he put the phone in front of you, screen-facing, so that he could open it. "What's it called?"
"Ti-ide," you said and grabbed his arm.
"Tide?" You nodded. "I gotcha, I gotcha," he said and then sat down next to you and held the phone between the two of you. "In," he narrated as you watched the circle on the app expand. "Hold..." Pause. "Exhale." The circle deflated.
"It's not--"
"Just keep breathing," Jay encouraged. "Think of a bubble, just like on the app."
You continued to hold on to his arm and continued to follow the breathing on the app for six more minutes.
Jay handed your phone back to you after he saw your breathing had evened out and you confirmed you were okay.
"Is this what happened at work the other night?" he asked gently.
You nodded. "I think I need to go to the doctor. I can't keep living like this, Jay!"
"I know you can't. And I'll do everything in my power to help you. But, don't you mean therapy?"
"No, a doctor. My period's being all weird and my anxiety's bad and maybe I need to be on Xanax or something. I can't keep doing this!"
"I know. Do you know why this happened? For my PTSD, there's always a trigger, was there one for you?"
"Just all this grad school stuff."
"Still can't think of anyone else to write you a letter?" You shook your head. "Could you use your supervisor at work?"
"Probably," you answered. "Maybe I'll use my old one from when I was on dayshift though because I like her better."
"Okay, send her an email. The worst she can say is no."
"And then I'll have to think of another person--"
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, just email her and then schedule a doctor's appointment. You should be able to do it online. And, me and Hailey got you some food so come out and grab it whenever you're ready. I'll put it in the fridge for you."
"Thanks, Jay."
He didn't know if you meant the help with the panic attack or the help with grad school or getting you food, but no matter which one you were thanking him for, the answer was still the same: "Anytime, kid."
***
"Okay, Y/N," Hannah said when you came to see her in the ED one day. (This was a planned appointment, but you knew she could possibly have to run out of the appointment if she is needed in the ED.) "So it says here in your online chart that you wanted to come in because of irregular periods and anxiety?"
"Yeah," you answered.
"And how long have your periods been irregular?"
"A month and a half, two months," you answered. "Around the time I started getting rejection letters for grad school."
"Yeah, Will's told me you've been applying. I bet that's really stressful."
"Yeah, it is. And now I have to apply to different degree programs because I didn't get into Ph.D. programs, so it's been a lot."
"Well, stress can play a big role in our cycle. So, what I'm gonna do is ask you some questions and then do the physical exam, see if there's anything I can find that could be causing this. I also want to run some labs just to check your blood work."
"Okay, but does it have to be fasted?" you asked. "Because I just came from work, so there's food in my system."
"I'd be concerned if there wasn't food in your system after working all night," Hannah joked. "But no, it doesn't have to be fasted. I mainly want to get your thyroid levels checked.
"Now, the anxiety, tell me about that. Is it more general? Is it panic attacks? When does the anxiety start? That kind of thing."
"Um, it's more general, I guess. I've only had two panic attacks, but I get like anxiety attacks when I see that there's gonna be a lot of people."
"A lot of people like what? Can you give me an example?"
"Like if I'm at the gym and there's a lot of people there, then I want to leave because I'm getting anxious."
"Okay, so in looking at your chart, I saw that you're on an antidepressant. So, based on what you just told me, there are two options. The first is that I can put you on hydroxyzine, which is an anti-anxiety medication that you can just take as needed. Or, I can increase your dosage of antidepressants and get you set up with one of our social workers here at the hospital who can teach you some coping skills or refer you to a therapist," Dr. Asher told you.
"Is there any way my body could constantly be PMS-ing? Because I used to get anxious around my period and now I'm having my period a lot more, so could that be it?" you asked.
"It definitely could be, which is why I want to have you get your labs done so we check your thyroid levels. But, if you don't want to do anything with your meds, we can always just have you meet with the social worker and see how that goes."
"What would you recommend? In terms of the hydroxyzine?" you asked.
"You've told me you've only had two panic attacks so far, so based on that, I think you could do either way with the medication. We could always increase your antidepressants and then when I follow up with you in a month, if nothing's changed, we can get you some hydroxyzine. It's completely up to you."
"Okay, let's just up my meds for now and if I need to go on the hydroxyzine later, I can."
"Okay, perfect, let me go get someone to get those labs done and then you're free to go."
"Thanks, Hannah."
***
3 days later
When you woke up, you saw that you had a voicemail and that it was from Hannah. You assumed it was regarding your labs.
"Hi, Y/N, it's Doctor Asher. I have some information I'd like to share with you concerning your test results from the blood panel that was done. These charts are also available in your online chart if you would like to see them. Please call me back when you get the chance. And if I don't answer your call, please leave a message with the best time that you can be reached. Have a good day."
You quickly logged into your chart to see the results yourself since you knew that your results would be there.
What you saw was something that you assumed might be the problem based on the research you had done on your own since you went to see Hannah a few days ago. (There was no way in hell you were talking to Will about this, and you had to beg and plead with Jay to convince him not to talk to Will about it. But, in the end, he agreed because you cited that he wouldn't be able to give you the check-up in the ED anyway since he was family, and by law, he couldn't do that. And, you also promised that if it was anything serious or if there was anything wrong at all, you would loop Will in yourself or that you would give Jay permission to loop him in.)
Your thyroid levels were slightly elevated, and in the notes, it said that during the physical exam, your thyroid did feel a bit enlarged. Because of this, Dr. Asher would recommend having an ultrasound of the thyroid...At least, that's what you gathered from all the medical jargon you read. And, because of said jargon, you assumed that this is why Hannah wanted you to call her back so that she could explain it to you.
You called her back.
"Hello, this is Dr. Asher," she greeted when she picked up.
"Hey, Hannah, it's Y/N Halstead. I'm calling because you told me you had my test results back."
"Yes, I do. Just give me one second to get it pulled up here..." There was a pause on the line and you could hear her typing away on the computer. "Here it is. Did you get a chance to look at your results from your online chart yet? If not, I can read the results to you over the phone."
"I looked at them," you told her.
"Okay, so what I'm going to do is just break down the results for you and then tell you the next step. Feel free to stop me at any time with any questions, okay, Y/N?"
"Okay, yeah."
She broke down the results for you and they were exactly what you had assumed from your online chart...and what was actually written in your online chart. But, you assumed that it was just standard protocol for her to have to break down the results to you over the phone or in person.
"So we just want to get an ultrasound of your thyroid to see if the thyroid is actually enlarged since your thyroid hormone levels were slightly elevated and your thyroid gland was slightly enlarged from what I gathered from the physical exam," Hannah finished.
"So, what happens now? Like, after the ultrasound?" you asked.
"If the thyroid isn't enlarged, then we just continue what we talked about, taking the increased dose of Zoloft and then meeting with the social worker and following up with me in a month about the anxiety and the irregular periods," she told you. "But, if the thyroid is enlarged, we'd put you on medication for that so that your levels can stabilize."
"Okay."
"Any more questions?"
"Nope," you answered.
"Alright, well, I'm gonna give you the number for scheduling so that we can get you scheduled for that ultrasound of the thyroid. But, feel free to call me or send me a message on your online chart if you have any other questions or concerns, okay?"
"Okay, thanks, Hannah."
"No problem, Y/N."
She gave you the number and told you to have a good day and then you said the same to her and ended the call.
You grabbed your book and started to walk upstairs to tell Jay when you thought of something: he might not even realize that you could get an ultrasound for other things besides being pregnant. Your other brother knew this, but you weren't sure if this one did.
These next few minutes were going to be really interesting.
***
At least, you thought it was going to be the next few minutes. Turns out, you had a few hours to talk to Jay because all he told you was a raid went sideways. Granted, it was mid-week, and for some reason, crime was slow during on Monday and Tuesday and ramped up a bit on Jay and Hailey's RDO, which was Wednesday, and they'd usually come back on Thursday to a full-fledged case. It was almost like criminals hated Mondays as much as the rest of the world did.
So, to calm your nerves about grad school and everything else that was a fucking mess in your life, you decided to make yourself—and Jay and Hailey—pasta salad with chicken for dinner.
You turned on one of the tv shows you had to catch up on and then started boiling the water for the pasta and took the veggies out of the fridge along with a cutting board from the cabinet and a knife from the knife block to start chopping up the veggies.
***
An hour later, you had let the chicken nuggets and the pasta cool in the fridge for half an hour and had just finished cutting up the chicken nuggets and were about to mix everything together when the door opened.
"Hey, I made pasta salad for dinner—" You turned. "Will? What are you doing here? I thought you were Jay or Hailey."
"Jay told me you had a doctor's appointment a couple days ago and I figured I'd come over and check you out, see what's the matter, and then start the Hawks game with you guys."
"And Jay knows you're coming over? Did he tell you to come over? Or just tell you I had a doctor's appointment?" you asked, stopping your stirring of the pasta salad so that you could give him your full attention...and to make sure you were making eye contact to try and figure out if he was lying to you or not.
"He just told me you had a doctor's appointment the other day and that he's worried about you. I told him I'd come and check you out, but that's all he told me." Will's phone buzzed. "Speak of the devil. It's Jay. Said he and Hailey are picking up Gino's on the way home." He glanced at the bowl in front of you. "But, it looks like you already made something, so..."
"I'll just save it for lunch for the next couple of days; I'm not passing up Gino's pizza." Will tapped his phone screen a few times. "What did you just tell him?" you asked and took the spoon from the pasta salad that you had begun to stir once again and pointed it at him.
"Just gave him a thumbs up. Now, tell me what's going on, and finish making your food so I can give you a check-up."
"Don't really wanna tell you," you mumbled.
"Hey, whatever it is, I promise you I've seen worse. Nothing will phase me. Unless you're pregnant. Then there might be some issues, more with Jay than with me, but still."
"It's the exact opposite of being pregnant."
"So, you're not pregnant?"
"No, I'm not pregnant, Will! Jesus."
"That's the same thing that Mary thought when she was pregnant with Jesus."
"Will!"
"Fine, fine. I won't push you. But, I can promise you that whatever it is, I've seen worse. Plus, If you don't tell me, I'll just convince Jay to tell me."
You sighed. Jay still didn't know that you needed an ultrasound for your thyroid, so maybe telling Will first would help so that Jay doesn't pop off on you when he hears the word ultrasound and his brain automatically goes to pregnancy.
"Just, let me stir this and cover it and put it in the fridge first."
Will nodded and sat down and you finished stirring the pesto into the pasta salad and then covered it with Saran Wrap and placed it on a shelf in the fridge.
Then, you sat down in your usual spot at the table.
"I've been getting my period a lot," you told him.
Will nodded, his eyebrows furrowing as you knew his brain was running through all the possible medical problems that have period issues as one of their symptoms. "How much is a lot? Like, constantly? And when did it start?"
So you went into the whole spiel you had already told Hannah, including the increased anxiety and what you and Hannah had decided to do about it.
"Does Jay know about this?" Will asked after you were finished.
"He knows about everything except the ultrasound. I just got those results a few hours ago."
"Do you have them on your online chart?" Will asked and you nodded. "Mind if I take a look?"
"Knock yourself out," you told him and then opened your phone and navigated to your test results on your online chart and then passed him your phone.
You sat in silence for a minute while Will looked over the results.
"So, you need an ultrasound of your thyroid?" he asked, even though he already knew that it was recommended from what he read on your chart, he didn't know if you had agreed to it.
"Yeah. I was gonna ask you to come with me though after I told Jay and Hailey tonight because I've never had an ultrasound done before," you said.
"Of course, I'll come. Just tell me the date and time and even if I'm working, I'm sure Maggie can cover for me after I explain what's going on. You want me to tell you what happens at an ultrasound?"
"I know what happens," you answered. "They put gel on me and then they put this wand thingy over top so that they can look at my insides."
Will stifled a laugh at how you described it, but he had to give it to you, you were right. "That's exactly what happens. Now, can I feel your neck so I can see if I can feel if your thyroid is enlarged?"
"On one condition." He cocked an eyebrow at you, silently urging you to continue. "You have to tell Jay that I'm getting an ultrasound because he'll flip out and think I'm pregnant if you say it."
"Deal."
***
"Anything from the doctor?" Jay asked as he put a slice of deep-dish pizza on your plate and then passed it to you.
"Which one?" you asked and looked at Will.
"I mean, did you tell him what's going on?"
"I did," you confirmed.
Now Jay's attention was wholly on Will. "So, what do you think is going on?" Jay asked Will.
"Well, I wasn't the one who examined her, but I did what I could here and read the results of her thyroid test."
"And what did they say?"
"I'm right here, guys!" you exclaimed, causing Hailey to laugh.
Jay turned to you. "Yeah, but you're not a doctor, so I want to hear it from someone who understands doctor language himself."
"Technically, it's medical terminology," you muttered and then began eating your pizza, curious as to how Will was going to reveal to your non-doctor brother that you were going to have an ultrasound and the reason for it was not because you were pregnant.
"She has to get an ultrasound," was what Will decided on.
"What?!" Jay exclaimed. "I thought you couldn't get your period when you're—"
"She's not pregnant, Jay! She needs an ultrasound of her thyroid," Will clarified.
Hailey was just laughing at how stupid her husband was while you just rolled your eyes. "I could've done that," you told Will.
"And I should've taken a video! That was priceless!" Hailey chimed in.
"And she needs an ultrasound because...?" Jay prompted Will.
And so Will launched into the details that he was better fit to explain than you were while you just ate your pizza.
"And you'll come to the ultrasound with me?" you asked Will once again, just to double-check. "I've never had one done before and what if something's really wrong with me?"
"First off, the worst case scenario is that you have to go on a medication for your thyroid," Will began. "And, yes, I'll go with you. Just tell me the time and date and I'll come and wait with you. I don't think I can go in, since the rooms are pretty small in radiology and you're not a minor, but I'll be in the waiting area the whole time."
"You promise?"
"I promise. And if it's a day I'm working, I'm sure Maggie could cover for me," he repeated.
"Okay."
"So, how's the applications coming?" Will asked.
You groaned. "Ugh, don't remind me. I've submitted all of them except I just have to resend my transcripts to one of them in Arizona because I sent it to the wrong email address."
"How do you send it to the wrong email address?" Jay asked.
"He wouldn't know because he didn't go to college," Will fake whispered to his sister-in-law who was sitting next to him. Jay just rolled his eyes.
"I sent it to the psych department, not the graduate admissions committee," you answered.
Jay nodded. "Any word from the school in Hawaii yet?"
"Nope. You'd know if there was."
"You just want to go to Hawaii, babe," Hailey said.
"Yeah, and? Beats winters in Chicago."
"And it's super expensive, so hopefully I'll get assistantships or scholarships," you said.
"What about the one in Chicago, Y/N?" Hailey asked. "I know that's bottom of your list because it's cold and because Jay would pressure you to stay at home—"
"I would not!"
"Yes, you would!" you, Will, and Hailey yelled, causing Jay's eyes to widen.
"Uh, that was freaky. How about you guys never do that again, okay?" Jay said. "I thought it was the beginning of February; not Halloween."
"Hailey, I don't know what you see in him," you told her, causing Jay's jaw to drop.
"Hey! For your information—"
"I didn't hear back from anyone yet," you said loudly, cutting Jay off before he said something that would discreetly hint at his sex life with Hailey. "And when I do, I'll tell you guys. Now, can we finish eating and watch the game? I really don't want to have to think about this more than I have to."
Hailey nodded in understanding, since she too suffered from anxiety and then she proceeded to tell the story of the antics that Adam and Kevin had been up to today in the bullpen while everyone had been listening to the wire for their latest case (which they now had a lead on and would be picking up tomorrow, hence Jay and Hailey getting home later than usual).
***
One week later
"So, Y/N, tell me about what's going on," the social worker, Marsha, asked you at 12:45 pm that afternoon as you sat in her office for your scheduled appointment on your day off (as in, you hadn't had to work the night before, but had to work tonight. Even Jay got confused with your schedule sometimes. Will, on the other hand, understood since he had worked many a night shift during his residency).
And so, you launched into the story about grad school and anxiety.
"So, I can definitely refer you to a therapist if you would like that," Marsha said. "Or, I can work with you and teach you skills to manage your anxiety."
You'd always had some anxiety, it had just increased in recent weeks because of the rejections you'd gotten and all the added stress of trying to find another program that still had open applications.
"I think I want to learn some skills," you answered. "Seems like this is just gonna be something I have to live with."
"Ok, so I want to tell you about anxiety and why it happens and how it's sometimes a good thing and then we can move on to some skills you've tried..."
***
"And I'm gonna give you some homework this week," Marsha said at the end of your session. She passed you a piece of paper. "All I want you to do is notice when you have anxiety and what the physical symptoms are. You don't have to write them on this piece of paper; it's just a list of possible physical symptoms and the anxiety pyramid that we talked about if you want to reference them if you want. All I want you to do is notice when your anxiety flares up. Then, we can figure out what to do in these types of situations."
"Okay, sounds good," you told her.
Then, she stood up and you followed her out of her office and back into the waiting room. "You know your way out from here?" she asked.
"Yup," you answered.
When in reality, you didn't. But, Will said he'd meet you outside the waiting room doors at 1:50 to go with you to your ultrasound appointment in the radiology wing, and it was currently 1:55.
"You're not in your scrubs," you said when you saw him right when you opened the doors to the hallway.
"Nope. Ms. Goodwin gave me a half day today, so we can get lunch after if you want."
"As long as we can get coffee for me to bring to work, sure." You noticed his backpack. "Can you put these in here?" you asked, holding the two pieces of paper out to him. "I only brought my lanyard with all my keys and stuff."
"Yup." He took the papers from you and put down his backpack and put the papers inside. "You ready?"
"Yeah. You promise it won't hurt?" you asked, slightly nervous.
"I promise. It might just feel a little cold at first."
***
"See? I told you it wouldn't be so bad," Will said once you were out of the ultrasound.
"Yeah. But I won't know the results for a few days so can you—"
"I'm not gonna look at your chart and tell you the results," Will stated as you exited the waiting room.
"But why not? I give you full permission so it's not against HIPAA."
"Technically, it is because I can't just go in there and look at a family member's chart. That, and I'm not a radiologist. When they send you the results, I can look them over if you let me see them. But, before then, I can't. And, I'd trust a radiologist's opinion on this more than mine."
"Fine. Now, how about IHOP for lunch?"
"Already a step ahead of you. It'll be ready for pickup in ten minutes."
"And you got me the pancakes I like?" you asked and narrowed your eyes at him.
"Yes, I got you the cinnamon roll ones."
You broke out into a smile. "You're my favorite brother...just don't tell Jay that. He thinks he's the favorite."
***
One week later, late February
You got your results back. After skimming them, you figured you'd understood them, but wanted to call Will just in case. And he confirmed it. There was nothing wrong with your thyroid.
"So it's all in my head?" you asked. "My body hates me because I'm stressed? God, I can't even do basic human functions right."
"Y/N, what did I tell you? It's normal to be stressed out like this. It's a big thing," Will said over the phone.
"Don't you think I know that?! This is my whole career here! My whole life!" You took a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."
"It's okay," he said. "You're super stressed out. But, you'll get in somewhere."
"Yeah, that's what everyone keeps saying." Then, your phone vibrated. "Hang on. That might be a school."
"They're calling you? That's a good sign, Y/N."
"They're not calling me; I put their emails as important so it'll notify me. I'm putting you on speaker while I read this."
You quickly put Will on speaker and then navigated to your emails. "It's the one in Hawaii," you told him. You held your breath as you opened the email. You skimmed it. And you stayed silent.
"What? What's it say?"
"I didn't get in," you said quietly.
"Aw, man. I'm sorry, kiddo. But, you still have five more to hear back from."
"Yeah. I just...I really wanted to go to school in Hawaii," you lamented. "I know it was a long shot to get in because I missed their priority deadline because I was still waiting on my Ph.D. application results, but still."
"Hey, look at it this way," Will began, "when you're making bank as a world-renowned neuropsychologist, you'll have more than enough money to vacation there a few times a year. Just make sure you don't forget to bring your favorite brother with you."
You rolled your eyes. "I dunno about world-renowned."
"Fine. USA-renowned."
"Goodbye, Will," you laughed.
"Bye, kiddo. Have a good night at work. Maybe drink a glass of wine before going to work. Just... don't tell Jay I said that. You've got what, seven hours before your shift?"
"That's actually a good idea. I'll swipe some of Hailey's pink Moscato. She's fine with it. She barely drinks it anyway."
"Alright, just one glass," Will reiterated.
"Bye, Will."
***
Two weeks later, early March
You woke up and checked the time. 2 pm. You still had two hours to sleep until your alarm went off. But, as was customary for the past two months, you navigated to your emails.
There, at the top, was one from Southern Arizona University.
You felt like you couldn't breathe as you opened the email.
Hello,
We have reviewed your application, evaluated your credentials and letters of recommendation, and would like to invite you to interview in person for the Doctoral program (Psy. D.) in Clinical Psychology at the SAU campus.
Your jaw dropped as you continued reading the finer details such as the date, time, location, and how to RSVP.
Today was Wednesday, Jay and Hailey's RDO.
You ran out of your room.
"Jay! Jay! Jay!" you yelled.
He immediately woke up from where he had been dozing off on the couch with Hailey next to him who had been wide awake. She grabbed her phone while he jumped up.
"What? What's wrong? What hurts?" he asked as he quickly looked you over.
"No, no nothing's wrong! I got an interview with Southern Arizona! It's in person in two weeks!"
"That's great, Y/N!" Hailey said at the same time that Jay said, "See? I told you that you'd get in somewhere!"
"I didn't get in yet, Jay," you told him.
"I know, but you're still one step closer."
You pulled out your phone. "I know Will's working, but I gotta text him and tell him!"
Hailey groaned as she looked at her phone's calendar. "Shit, Jay. We have that mandatory training that week for our detective's recertification."
Jay threw his head back and groaned. "It's not even that important. Voight and Platt will let us out of it."
"You know this isn't their call. It's the Ivory Tower that schedules this one. And it's the last one of the quarter. We don't go to this one..."
"We can't work until mid-April at the earliest. We'll be suspended," Jay finished.
"Exactly."
"Will can come with me," you said. "I can't just not go and I'm not going to Arizona by myself."
"Yeah, even if Will has to work, we'd find someone to bring you," Jay said. "Maybe Kim as a backup. No way in hell are you going to Arizona by yourself, you're damn right about that."
"Listen, we'll figure out the logistics of everything later," Hailey said. "For now, you just go back to bed so you're not too tired at work and then focus on being prepared for your interview. Just forward the email to me and Jay so we have the right place and date and time and we'll get everything figured out, okay?"
You smiled. "Okay."
"Now go back to sleep. You're going to Arizona for that interview no matter what," she reassured you.
"And, you're gonna do great," Jay added.
"I haven't even prepped for this yet."
"Still, I know you," Jay started. "You're gonna practice and know everything and then you'll do great. Now try and get some sleep before you have to go in tonight."
You nodded and turned around, still with a giant smile plastered on your face.
***
Five days later, Monday
You rolled over and checked the time. Fifteen minutes until you planned to get up, so you knew you wouldn't be able to go back to sleep no matter how hard you tried.
You immediately navigated to your emails as you had done for the past two months.
There, at the top, was one from Kansas City Health College and University in Missouri.
Hi, Y/N!
We have reviewed your application, and the committee is interested in offering you an opportunity to interview. Are you available this week or next?
Your jaw dropped and you broke out into a smile.
Another school wanted you! You might have options now!
You knew Hailey and Jay were unlikely to be home right now, so you went to your text messages and opened the group chat between you, Jay, Hailey, and Will.
I got an interview for Kansas City! you wrote.
Not even fifteen seconds later, your phone rang.
"Did you get my text?" you asked when you answered Will's phone call.
"I did," Will confirmed. "Good job! But, is the interview in-person?"
"I don't know," you answered. "I'll email them."
"Okay, just let me know. They approved my PTO request to come to Arizona with you in a couple weeks, but I don't know if I can swing another vacation. Jay or Hailey might have to go with you to this one."
"Okay, and it's an eight-hour drive from here, so we don't have to fly there if the interview is in-person."
"It seems short now, but it won't feel that way when you're driving for that long."
You rolled your eyes. "Uh-huh. Did you look up flight tickets for Arizona yet?"
"That's what I was doing before I called you. Is it your weekend off before the interview or after the interview?"
"Before the interview," you told him.
"Okay. I work a shift on Saturday, so the earliest we could fly out is Sunday morning. Then we have all day Monday to look at Pheonix and apartments and stuff and Tuesday you have to interview and we could fly home Wednesday or Thursday. How long did you take off for?"
"I have to go back into work that Thursday night."
"Okay, so we'll fly back Wednesday night, then you can sleep all day Thursday because my next shift is on Friday."
"Okay. And, I can stay at your house the night before if it's an early flight, right? I am not driving to your house at 3 am. Or you can sleep on the couch here."
"If it's early, it's probably better that you stay over here because I won't get home from work until 8:30 and then I'll probably have last-minute stuff to do. You know how it is."
"Yeah."
"Okay, well I'm gonna go so you email them and I can keep looking up flights. I'll let you know everything when I figure it all out."
"Sounds good."
Then, the two of you said your goodbyes and you emailed the school and responded to Jay and Hailey's congratulations texts.
Even if it was only two interviews out of the eleven schools total you had applied to so far, you were getting somewhere.
***
Four days later, Friday, day of virtual Kansas City interview
You opened the fridge and grabbed a hard seltzer just when you heard someone clearing their throat. You turned around with a sheepish expression on your face to see Jay standing there.
"So, we're drinking at 7:30 in the morning now, are we?" he asked.
"Your 7:30 in the morning is my 7:30 at night," you told him. "And, I have my interview later. Need something to calm my nerves before I go to bed."
"You've practiced more than enough; you'll do great. You don't need alcohol to calm your nerves."
He was right of course, on both fronts, but you weren't going to tell him that. You had researched questions you might be asked during your interview and then wrote down your answers and quizzed yourself multiple times until you were confident that you knew everything. You even had your coworkers quiz you on them last night and had Jay quiz you on them Wednesday night so that you knew for a fact that you knew everything. There were obviously questions that could come up that you weren't prepared for, but you had prepared for it as best you could with the information you currently had.
"I know," you begrudgingly agreed. "But still, let me do this. It's not like you haven't drank to calm your nerves before."
"She's got a point, Jay," Hailey said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere and maneuvering around Jay to get to the counter and begin making herself a cup of coffee.
"Why are you always on her side?" he asked.
"Technically, I'm not taking sides, just stating a fact. Let her have the drink. It's not like she's gonna get drunk. She's too smart to get drunk hours before her interview anyway."
"Thanks, Hailey," you said and then walked past Jay, who made no move to argue with you.
"Just, remember to put the can in the recycling when you wake up. And good luck with the interview later. Don't miss your alarm," he told you.
"I won't. I set one for like every minute from when I need to wake up to ten minutes after," you reassured.
And, when you made your way to your room, you could've sworn you heard Jay whsiper something along the lines of You're gonna be the death of me? You know that, right? to Hailey.
***
You felt like the interview went well. There were only two questions you hadn't practiced answering: (1) tell me about working with people from diverse backgrounds and (2) tell me about a time you had too much on your plate. How did you go about handling that?
Not to toot your own horn, but you felt like you gave pretty good answers to those questions despite being under pressure and not having practiced those beforehand.
Now though, it was time to calm down and try to go back to sleep for a few more hours before work. You had only gotten five hours of sleep before the interview and wanted to get at least another three before having to wake up again, do your morning routine, and go back to work.
So, now you needed to calm down and fall asleep without taking melatonin. So, you decided to go take a nice hot shower.
You didn't take long, only about fifteen minutes, and the minute you went and sat down in your bed to read to try and get your adrenaline to go down a bit more, your phone rang.
Will.
"Hey," you answered.
"So, how'd it go?" he asked. Honestly, he seemed more excited to talk about this than you did.
It was at this moment that you actually grasped how well you might have actually done during the interview phase.
"It actually went really well! There were only two questions I didn't know the answer to."
And then, you talked to Will about what the questions were and the answers you gave so that you could be prepared for your interview with SAU in a little under two weeks.
"Well, I'm gonna let you go so you can get some sleep, okay?" he said.
"Yeah. Hopefully reading for a bit will make me tired. I already took a hot shower to calm down, and it's calmed me just a little bit."
"It's the nerves," Will began. "You've been trying to get to this point for so long and all your adrenaline just hit you. You'll crash soon and sleep hard, though. Go, I dunno, make some tea to drink while you read or something," he suggested.
"That's actually a good idea. Thanks, Will."
"Anytime, kiddo. Now try and get some sleep. Make sure to text Jay and Hailey that the interview went well too because they probably want to know even if they're out chasing criminals all over the place."
"Doubt they could get to their phone to see the text if they're chasing people," you pointed out.
"You know what I mean. Now get some sleep."
***
5 days later, Wednesday
You woke up to someone gently touching your shoulder and saying your name.
"Y/N, you okay?"
Jay.
You grumbled, "Mhm. Why?"
"It's ten o'clock at night," he answered.
You rolled over and touched your phone, causing the screen to illuminate. Lo and behold, Jay was right. 10:02 pm.
You had worked six days straight since it had been your weekend on, and normally after these long stretches, you did sleep like ten hours, but you had never slept twelve. Granted, you did go to bed at around 10 am instead of your usual 8:30 because you had a doctor's appointment to follow up on your irregular periods (which were getting back to normal finally) and then you woke up around 1 pm for about an hour, but still, it was weird that you had slept this long.
"Guess I was just tired," you said. "I'll get up soon."
"Don't sleep all night. That's gonna mess you up for your shift tomorrow night."
"I know, Jay. I've been on nights for eight months now; I think I know what I'm doing."
"Okay, well, there's dinner in the fridge if you want some."
"Thanks."
Then, he left your room and you turned on your bedside lamp and sat up in bed, and opened your phone.
As was normal for you now, you navigated to your emails to see if you had heard back from any schools.
A few emails down was one that made your breath catch in your throat and your hands begin to shake.
From: Kansas City Health College and University
Subject line: Update KCHCU Admissions
You opened it and there was what looked to be a scanned document with the school's logo on top and the very first word was bolded and in cursive.
Congratulations!
Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped. You felt your heart beating out of your chest.
We are pleased to inform you that you have been admitted *with a Conditional Acceptance* to our program of: Doctor of Clinical Psychology (PsyD) for the Academic Year 2023-2024.
We hope this is one of many achievements in your professional career as a result of your continuous efforts.
*Please be aware that this is not your official acceptance notification. Official acceptance letters will be sent out upon completion of the required documents. Please fill out the attached documents as soon as possible.*
Sincerely,
The Admissions Office at Kansas City Health College and University.
A huge smile formed on your face as you shot out of bed and ran to Jay and Hailey's bedroom.
You quickly knocked on the door. "Nobody better be naked in there because I'm coming in!"
Without waiting for a reply, you opened the door. And, luckily, the only piece of clothing Jay was missing was a shirt (and you could see this because he had quickly sat up in bed and turned on his bedside lamp just as you opened the door).
"Some of us have to work in the morning, you know," Jay said.
At this, Hailey walked out of the bathroom, clad in her pajama bottoms and a t-shirt with her hair wrapped in a towel.
"You probably laid down two seconds before she knocked on the door," Hailey said.
"Technically, it was ten seconds," Jay sassed.
"Yeah, yeah," you said dismissively. "But I checked my emails and I got into Kansas City!" you exclaimed.
Hailey gasped. "Yay! Congratulations!" Then she made her way over to you and gave you a hug.
"See, I told you you could do it," Jay said and stood up and hugged you, too. "But, your first pick is still Arizona, right?"
"Yup," you told him. "But at least I have a backup school now if I don't get into SAU."
"So, what do you have to do now?"
"Fill out some documents." You passed him your phone. "Here's the email."
Jay told you to make sure you send in the documents by the deadline, which caused you to roll your eyes.
"Don't you have to pay something to secure your spot?" he asked.
"I think so," you said. "But it shouldn't be a ton, so if I get into SAU and have to tell them I decided to go to another school, I shouldn't be losing out on too much."
"Okay, good. See, I told you you'd get in somewhere."
"And I still have another interview."
"And you better text Will before he gets mad he had to hear it from one of us," Hailey pointed out.
"Oh, yeah," Jay agreed. "You better do that."
"I'll do that right now. Get some sleep, you guys."
"Night, Y/N, I'm so proud of you," Hailey said and gave you another hug.
"Night, kid," Jay said and gave you another hug as well.
Then, you made your way out of their room and into the kitchen to make yourself some food and coffee. As you were waiting for your coffee to finish brewing though, you made sure to text Will to let him know that you had at least gotten into one school, even if you considered it your backup school.
***
4 days later, Sunday
Your alarm sounded at 3:30 am and you silently cursed Will for wanting to get out on the first flight available. You rolled over and groaned into your pillow, but then quickly decided to get up because you knew if you kept laying down, you'd fall back to sleep and then Will would have to wake you up and you'd have to rush or you'd end up missing your flight altogether.
You heard the shower running as you grabbed your overnight oats from the fridge and then popped a pod into the Keurig.
Ten minutes later, you were rubbing your eyes and trying to stay awake while finishing your coffee when Will came into the kitchen.
"Morning," he greeted.
You groaned in response, looked up, and took another sip of your coffee. "I only slept five hours."
"And, I only slept three."
"That's not healthy for you."
"Neither is five."
You glared at him and he just smiled.
"Do you have Dramamine?" you asked.
"In my backpack. You should probably take it when we get to the airport, though."
"As long as I can get more coffee at the airport."
"You and me both," Will agreed.
***
You were not happy, let's just put it that way. There were so many people at Midway (since Jay wasn't flying with you, you and Will could fly out of Midway. Jay basically had a phobia of this airport now because he was abducted from here years ago) even though it was a 6 am flight on Sunday, that you and Will couldn't get more coffee.
"I'm gonna go find a vending machine," you said. "Can I have your card?" you asked.
You had time before you needed to board your flight and by finding a vending machine, you wouldn't have to waste time waiting in line. And, Will had told you to only bring your ID and some cash because he didn't want your debit or credit card getting stolen.
So, you went and found a vending machine and got yourself a Starbucks bottled frappuccino, and grabbed Will a boring plain latte.
"Here you go," you said and handed the coffee and his credit card to him.
"I didn't ask you to get me anything."
"Well, one it's your money, and two, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like shit."
Will rolled his eyes. "Thanks. I'm so glad I'm spending money to put up with you for a couple of days."
"Nah, you love me...at least, I'm your favorite sibling out of me and Jay."
"That's debatable. But you getting me this definitely earned a couple of points in that category."
Your phone buzzed. "It's Jay," you said after reading the text. "He said to have a good flight." Why your other brother was up at 5 am on a Sunday baffled you, but you figured it had something to do with his need for a consistent schedule and structure from his army days.
"He text it to the group chat?" Will asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"I have my phone on silent and if he only texted you that, then I'd be offended."
"That would mean that I'm his favorite sibling then," you pointed out. "I'm both your favorite siblings."
"Oh, you're the favorite something alright," Will muttered under his breath. Then, he remembered something. He quickly unzipped a pocket in his backpack and handed you the packet of Dramamine. "You should probably take this now."
"And this is why you're the doctor because I probably would've forgotten."
Will just shook his head. "I know. And then you'd be miserable for the entire flight, which would make me miserable and it just wouldn't be a good time."
You just took the pill in response and handed the package back to him. "I get the window seat," you told him.
"I already planned on it," Will answered.
And fifteen minutes later, you were in line to board.
***
After waiting in line for an hour to get your rental car, you were finally out of the airport in Pheonix. Because of the time difference between Pheonix and Chicago, you got into Pheonix around 8 am, and it was currently a little past 9 am. And needless to say, you and Will were hungry.
"You sure you're good to drive?" you asked. "They said I could drive it, just that I can't be the main renter."
It shocked you that you could actually drive a rental car since you weren't 25 yet, which is the age that you could legally rent a car. But, turns out, you could be a driver, just not the one who was the primary renter.
"I was there, I know," Will said. "And, I'm good to drive. I've worked lots of 24-hour shifts running on little sleep, so I'll be fine."
"Okay. But if you need to switch drivers, let me know."
"I will. Now, what sounds good to eat?"
"I say IHOP."
"Pancakes and a pot of coffee it is then," Will agreed.
You put in the address for the nearest IHOP and made your way there.
And when you were at the restaurant, Will may or may not have taken a picture of you devouring your pancakes and sent it to the group chat that only contained him, Jay, and Hailey.
***
The next day, Monday
"I say we leave Jay home more often," you said when you woke up the next morning around 8.
Jay was always the one who was go, go, go while on vacation like he couldn't relax. He'd have had you running around Pheonix until midnight if he were here and he more than likely would've woke up at 6 to workout and then made a ton of noise rummaging around for his suitcase that he would've woken everyone else up in the hotel room, too.
"I would ask you if you slept well because you said that," Will began, "but I know you did because you were snoring. I should've smothered you with the pillow."
"I'm telling Jay if I come up dead in here that it was you," you said.
"And I'm telling him that you don't want him to come on vacation because he wakes you up early."
"He knows that! It's common knowledge!"
Will rolled his eyes. "Hurry up and get ready or do whatever you need to do so that we can go get some breakfast downstairs before all the good stuff's gone."
"Can we get coffee somewhere later? I looked up some coffee shops near here."
"Let's just get breakfast first and then we'll go from there."
***
The morning was spent looking at possible apartments, going to a bookshop that doubled as a coffeeshop (and buying a new book of course), and then going out for Mexican food for an early lunch (which had the best salsa you had ever tasted).
Then, you went back to the hotel and got ready to go to the pool.
"You can go down without me," Will said.
"You're not coming?" you asked.
"I gotta make a phone call. Work stuff," Will lied.
"Okay, see you down there," you said and grabbed a room key, and left to go to the pool.
Two minutes later, when Will was positive you were at least off the floor you were staying in, if not out to the pool by now, he pulled out his phone and dialed Jay's number.
"Everything okay?" Jay asked the minute he picked up.
"Yes, everything's okay."
"Well, if you're only calling me to brag about the chips and salsa you got, then it's in your best interest to hang up now." You had been sending pictures to the group chat between you, your brothers, and Hailey, and needless to say, Jay was jealous.
"Okay, fine," Will relented. "Everything's not okay. I don't know if I want Y/N staying here."
Now, Will had Jay's full attention. "Bad neighborhoods? What's it like? I can try and look into stuff for you, but I don't have jurisdiction there, so it might be hard to do."
"Dude, it's like Chicago, but it changes a bit faster here. You have wealthy people on one side of the street and then poverty on the other. The building her school is in is just down the street from a homeless encampment. And, she's a girl living by herself. I dunno about her living her, man."
"Well, all the schools she's applied to are in big cities, so she's gonna get that anywhere."
"I know, I know. It's just, the shit we see every day..."
"I get it," Jay agreed. "How did she react to the apartments? And the school?"
"Well, her face dropped when we saw the school. It was like in an industrial area and it's just a building. And, the apartments, the one she likes and the one she said would probably be safest would run her like $1800 a month just for the apartment, not including utilities, groceries, etc."
Jay whistled on the other end. "Shit. But, it's like that everywhere."
"I know. If she goes here, you're gonna need to fly out here and look at apartments with her because you might be able to figure some more stuff out."
"Yeah, if she gets in me and her will take some time to look at apartments out there. Maybe bring Hailey, too."
"Okay, good. And, I'm willing to pay a little bit of her rent if it means she'll be safe."
"Me too," Jay agreed. Then, he remembered something. "Hey, I think one of my old army buddies does construction for apartments out there. I'll see if he can give you some places to check out that he thinks are safer and text you if he tells me anything."
"That would be great, Jay. How's the training going?"
"Let's not talk about that when me and Hailey are on our lunch break, okay? It's a pain in the ass but I have to do it."
"Alright then. I'll let you wallow in your own pity while me and Y/N go chill at the pool. Bye, Jay."
"You're an ass," Jay laughed. "But have a good night. I'll text Y/N tomorrow before her interview and I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. I want to know how it goes." Will heard someone's voice on the other line, he assumed it was Hailey. "And Hailey wants to know how it goes, too." (Will was right.)
"I'll make sure to tell her. Have a good night you two."
Then, Will ended the call and changed, and headed down to the pool where you were soaking up the sun while reading a book on your iPad.
"Hey," Will said after he sat down next to you. "I talked to Jay. He's got an old army buddy that does apartment work around here. He's gonna talk to him and see if he can give us some apartments to look at."
"Okay, good," you said and then paused your reading timer. For the first ten minutes you were down here, you had began making a pros and cons list on your iPad. "Kansas City's looking pretty good after looking at rent prices and the cost of living over here."
"So, you're leaning towards Kansas City then?" Will asked. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't surprised. SAU had been your first choice since you had gotten the email saying that they wanted you to come for an interview.
You passed him your iPad. "You can look at my pros and cons list."
He took a minute to read it and then handed it back to you. "Kansas City has a study abroad program? You never told me that."
"Because I don't know if I'll be going or not. They have a campus in Spain and they saw that I minored in Spanish, so they said that if that's something I want to do, that it's an option. And, I had to miss my study abroad because of covid. It all depends on if I feel comfortable taking all my classes in Spanish though and how it will work out with my classes and my practicum schedule."
"That's great, Y/N! If you go to Kansas City, you should definitely look into it. And, I'm sure some of the students speak English and would be more than willing to help you if you needed it. The profs probably speak English too."
"I know. It's just, learning about the brain and psychology in my second language after not having learned much in undergrad even though I have my minor in it, is a little scary."
"Then you don't have to go. But, you have the option at least if you go to Kansas City. And, Kansas City doesn't have assistantships?" Will asked.
Assistantships are where a student does some kind of work for the university and, depending on how many hours you work, half or all of your tuition is paid for by the university and they'll give you a living stipend.
"No. But, SAU does. I just don't know if the assistantships are for the campus I'm going to or the main campus. It's more expensive here and if I don't get an assistantship, I don't know how I'm gonna be able to afford rent," you told him.
"What's the tuition cost for the programs?" Will asked.
"About the same," you answered.
"So, Kansas City: Spain, no assistantships, lower cost of living. And SAU: no Spain, possible assistantships, higher cost of living?" Will asked.
"Yeah," you answered. "Them having assistantships at that campus is gonna play a big part in if I go to school here or not."
"Let's just focus on the interview for now and make sure to ask them about that tomorrow. You got into one school for sure. Just focus on what you can control tomorrow and then decide. Okay?"
"Okay," you answered.
"I know it's hard to do right now, but just relax. Everything will work itself out eventually."
***
Tuesday, day of SAU interview
"You're gonna do great," Will reassured as you bobbed your leg up and down on the twenty-minute car ride from the hotel to SAU's south campus.
You went to open your coffee that Will bought you downstairs before you left (you weren't drinking nasty brewed coffee from the hotel and you cited the fact that you wouldn't have time to get coffee before the interview as the reason why you needed some now. Plus, you weren't going into arguably the most important interview of your entire life without caffeine in your system.) but you had to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths before you could actually open it because your hands were shaking.
"I don't know about that," you said after taking a sip of your coffee. "I could barely open my coffee."
"We practiced last night and you got all the answers right. You'll do just fine, Y/N. Did you and your social worker come up with strategies for this?"
"Mhm."
You and Marsha had talked about how to manage your nerves during your two interviews at your previous in-person session. Your plan was to remember that you had rehearsed these answers so much that you knew these answers. And to imagine yourself answering them at your desk at home with a candle and a cup of coffee in front of you like how you had actually practiced at home. Plus, the image was of a calming environment, so it might help slow your breathing and heart rate down. And, hey, you already got into one school, so why wouldn't you be able to get into this one?
"I just don't know what to expect in the group interview."
"Just be yourself while being professional. You'll be fine."
Your phone buzzed.
Jay.
You got this! You're gonna kill that interview!
Then another text came in.
Hailey.
Good luck, Y/N! You'll do great! Think positive thoughts (easier said than done, I know, haha). Love you!
You responded to each of them with a thank you and with Jay's, you added a smiley face emoji to the end, and to Hailey's, you added a heart to the end.
Fifteen minutes later, you pulled into the parking lot.
"Take a couple deep breaths," Will told you. You closed your eyes and did as he said. Then, you opened them and nodded. He squeezed your shoulder. "You practiced. Just remember that. Good luck."
And then, you stepped out of the car, grabbed your bag and your coffee, and walked into the place you hoped you'd be going to school at for the next five years.
***
Two hours later, 10:00 am
The group interview went fine. It felt just like a conversation more or less...which kind of made you nervous. Wasn't it supposed to feel like an interview? It was just sort of weird in your opinion. You basically just talked about how fucked the US mental health/foster care/social services system was and how each of you wanted to change that.
But now it was time for the part where you knew what to expect, and this part arguably had more riding it than the group interview: the individual interview.
You were interviewing with someone named Dr. Haldon.
She led you to her office and you sat down. She first asked you how you were doing and you said good, a little nervous, but good.
Then, she jumped right in.
"Your statement of purpose was a little confusing to tell you the truth," she said.
You furrowed your eyebrows. Your statement of purpose seemed pretty clear-cut and easily digestible to you. "It was?"
"Yes. You talked a lot about sports psychology, but why you want to go into neuropsychology and how you want to do more with the mental health side of things, but that you want more precision. So, explain that."
"Which part?" you asked. "The sports psych, neuropsych, mental health, or precision part?"
You swore she could hear your heart beating out of your chest.
"The precision part."
So, you went into it. You explained how you wanted to be a sports psychologist because you loved hockey and always wanted to do something with sports, but that you were also passionate about mental health. So, when you found sports psych, you thought it would be perfect for you.
But, then you took a class in sports psych and realized it was more behavior-based. Plus, it wasn't as precise as neuropsych where you'd be analyzing test results based on previous data and sometimes looking at brain scans.
You also explained how when you were little, you saw your brother becoming a doctor and, being the impressionable little girl you were, you wanted to be a doctor, too. But, then you realized you were scared of blood and weren't super good at hard sciences like chemistry.
So, when you found neuropsych after not wanting to go into sports psych, you knew this was what you wanted to do because it sort of married the two: you'd get to work in the psych field with more precision than sports psych and you'd get to work in a hospital and be on a treatment team without going to med school.
(This was all mentioned in your statement of purpose--minus the med school part--so you really didn't understand why she wanted you to repeat it all.)
"Define what you mean by precision," Dr. Haldon requested.
"Um, neuropsychologists get to look at brain scans and those are more precise than some psychological testing."
"Neuropsychologists don't look at brain scans," she told you.
"They don't? When I researched them, they did. I didn't get to take a neuropsych class though because the class was full when I decided I wanted to switch specialties."
"Well, they don't. That's the neurologist's job. And, sports psychologists get to work with mental health. Are you sure what you took was a sports psychology class?"
"Yes," you answered. It was a full-year class, not just one semester, so you knew the ins and outs of this class that you had taken your senior year of undergrad.
"Well, sports psychologists do still get to work with the mental health of the athlete."
"Oh. I was taught that they had to refer out since it would be a conflict of interest."
"No. I have my post-doc in sports psych, which is why I wanted to interview you."
There it is. That's why you weren't being interviewed by the faculty you said you wanted to work with in your statement of purpose. It was because she wanted to groom you into a sports psychologist...which made half as much as a neuropsychologist, but had the same of amount schooling required.
You just nodded.
"I think you close doors before you even open them all the way."
You just took a deep breath.
Then, she started asking you some questions, most of which you had not prepared for.
"Sorry," you started in response to one of the questions. "I'm thinking. I'm just nervous."
Without missing a beat, she asked, "So, how's your anxiety?"
You stared at her. "What?"
"Well, you've mentioned you were nervous several times."
Twice. You had mentioned your nerves twice. And, any sane person would be nervous during an interview!
You didn't know what to say, so you just blurted the truth out.
"I'm going to therapy," you answered.
"I see. So how is that going?"
You should have told her that your medical/mental health history was none of her damn business, but you wanted to go to this school, so you answered the question. At least, you thought you wanted to go to this school.
"It's going well. Helps a lot," you answered. Now you decided to take charge because, after the conversation you had with Will by the pool last night, you knew that your decision to go here would be riding on whether or not you could get an assistantship at this campus. "Do you have any assistantships available?"
"Oh, yes, I was going to ask you about that as well. We don't have assistantships available. I don't know where you found that information."
You furrowed your eyebrows. "But, on SAU's website, it said that there were assistantships available. Is that only for the main campus?"
"Yes, there are no assistantships for this campus, unfortunately."
"Oh."
There was a pause as if Dr. Haldon were waiting for you to comment further. When you didn't, she posed the question, "So, explain to me why you chose the PsyD route instead of the Ph.D. route."
"Well," you began. Did you tell her that you initially applied for PhDs and PsyDs were just the backup because you didn't get into any PhD programs?
Fuck it. She already knew you had anxiety, it couldn't really get that much worse.
"I applied to PhDs first because they're fully funded. But, since I didn't get into any of those, I applied for PsyDs. And, I like the clinical aspect more than the research aspect, so there's that," you answered.
"You were going to do research even though you don't like it? A Ph.D. is five years, that's a long time to do research if you don't like it. Why?"
"Because they're fully funded," you said quieter than you had answered all of her other questions but still loud enough that she could hear you.
"So you were going to do something you didn't like for that long because the program is fully funded?" You nodded. "I see."
You went through the rest of the questions she had been prepared to ask you and you asked her if she had any recommendations on where to live around here or where current students live, in case you got into the program.
But, during all of this, all you felt was defeat. Even if Dr. Haldon's behavior was making you want to go to Southern Arizona University even less, well you had just bombed your interview; even if you still wanted to go, there was no way they still wanted you.
***
"How'd it go?" Will asked with a smile when you got in the car.
You closed the door and scoffed and shook your head. "Shitty."
"What?" he quickly moved the car into a parking spot so that you two could talk. "Why?"
"I didn't even get to interview with the faculty I wanted to interview with! And the lady who interviewed me was bitch! She questioned my abilities and made it seem like I was supposed to know everything and- and- ugh!"
You blinked your eyes rapidly and fanned them so that you didn't cry and then have to wipe your face and smudge your mascara and foundation everywhere.
"Okay, calm down. Take a deep breath. What happened exactly?"
And so, you relayed the story of your individual interview with him.
"First off, she was wrong to question if you had anxiety or not. That was unprofessional. And secondly, if you knew everything, you wouldn't be here; you'd already be a neuropsychologist. She can't expect you to know everything. That's why you're going to school."
"Yeah, I guess," you agreed.
"And, at least you interviewed here. That way you saw this now instead of seeing it when you got in after deciding to come here. Remember, you're interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you."
You sniffled. "Thanks, Will. Sorry, I made you take time off work to just come down here and for me not to get into this school."
"Hey, no. It was a nice little vacation from the cold. And, you might still get in."
"Yeah, but I'm leaning towards Kansas City now even if I do get in."
"Okay. Wherever you want to go. It's your decision. I know you wanted somewhere warm, Y/N. But Kansas City might be the place for you."
"Yeah," you agreed quietly.
"I drove around and looked at some possible apartments for you, but now I think we should just go get some ice cream. What do you think?"
"I think that sounds like a great idea."
And then, instead of ice cream, you got the gooiest chocolate chip cookie of your life topped with caramel. It didn't fix everything, but it sure made it better.
And, when you called Jay in the car to explain to him everything that happened at your interview, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little relieved that you probably wouldn't be moving 25 hours away from him.
***
A month and a half later, early May
It was finally time for you to go to Kansas City to look at the school you would be attending and start apartment hunting. You had been apartment hunting as much as possible online, but it was really hard to know an area and know if you liked an apartment by looking online. So, you and Jay were driving down, and then Will was flying down after his shift later tonight so that he'd be with you to visit the school during the interview later morning tomorrow. (You figured he was the best bet to bring since he knew more of this stuff than Jay. And, you weren't gonna bring both brothers. You were in graduate school, not undergrad; bringing both of them would be overkill.)
You were a little over four hours into your drive and the sky had started to darken about half an hour ago. Since you were currently the passenger and Jay was driving (you planned on switching drivers when you got into Kansas City so that you could practice driving there with someone else in the car), he had you check the forecast to see when it was going to rain.
Your phone had told you in about two hours, and you hoped to be close to Kansas City by then.
And then, yours and Jay's phones went off at the same time, almost giving you a heart attack. You looked at the alert.
"There's a tornado warning near us," you told Jay.
"A watch or a warning?" he asked.
"Warning."
He cursed under his breath. "Hopefully we'll miss it. Keep an eye out for funnel clouds. How far away are we from where it was spotted?"
You went on your phone to start looking for more information, and not even two minutes later, it started hailing.
You grabbed your sweatshirt from the backseat so that in case the hail shattered your windshield, you'd have something to put over your face to protect your eyes.
The area beneath the overpasses quickly started to become full of cars and semis that were finding a place to hunker down for the time being. Jay reached down flip something and then cursed when he realized what he was looking for wasn't there.
"And, it's in your car. Great," he said.
"Why? You want a new truck if we were driving yours and the windshield breaks?" you asked as you continued to scroll through your phone for more information.
"No," he answered. "I could put on my lights and sirens and probably find us a police station to camp out at. And, I'd be able to listen to important stuff like where an accident is, from my scanner. And, my windshield and windows are bulletproof. The hail's small enough now that it shouldn't break your windshield, though."
You nodded. "And, that bulletproof glass isn't going to help much if we drive into a tornado."
"That is true," he agreed. "Can you text Will and Hailey and let them know what's going on?"
You did so and immediately got responses from both Will and Hailey.
Hailey: WHATTT???
Will: Go find somewhere to post-up.
You responded to the group, even though you were mainly responding to Will's question, by telling them that you were trying to find something to take cover underneath, but that the areas underneath the overpasses were all full, so you were gonna keep driving.
Then, Will and Hailey replied with some form of stay safe and Will told you to keep them updated. Hailey also said to tell Jay that she loved him.
"Hailey says she loves you," you told Jay.
Jay laughed. "This is arguably safer than us getting shot at every day. But tell her I love her, too. You can tell her the getting shot at thing, too, if you want."
"She'll probably send a middle finger emoji if I tell her that."
"Yeah, probably."
You texted and told Hailey that Jay said he loves her, too and Will responded asking if he's chopped liver. So, you told him that you and Jay loved him too, but that you should both be fine and that you'd stop driving once you found a place to hunker down at.
After driving for ten more minutes, the hail was coming down so hard that you and Jay could barely see, so he took the first exit he saw.
"Look for places with empty spots," he told you, referring to places with awnings over them so that you'd be covered.
You looked and there was a bank...full. A church with a small awning...full.
Then, Jay spotted a self-service car wash and did what was probably an illegal U-turn to turn into the parking lot.
There were three stalls and the last one on the right was empty. You both thanked your lucky stars and pulled inside.
Jay breathed a sigh of relief as he put the car in park. "Tell Will we're safe."
Then a thought came to mind. "You think Will's gonna be able to fly out tonight?"
Jay looked at the clock. It was almost 3 pm and Will's flight didn't leave until 11 pm. "His flight doesn't leave for another eight hours, so hopefully. If not, I'll just go tour the school with you."
"Okay."
"It's always an adventure with you, isn't it?"
You laughed and shook your head. "And we're not even to Kansas City yet."
After hunkering down for a bit, the hail had let up and you got back on the highway and continued driving. As it turns out, you had been driving the way the tornado was heading. Hail started up once more, but only kept up for five minutes. And, twenty minutes later, there were blue skies on the horizon.
You took a picture and texted it to Will and Hailey telling them you were safe and driving again and told Will to let you know if his flight got delayed or canceled.
***
The next day, Monday
The rest of the night went fine and Will's flight left as scheduled and you and Jay picked him up from the airport and then went for some late-night ice cream. The three of you got breakfast at the hotel and you bought a bottled latte from the market area—Jay and Will thought bitter and acidic hotel coffee tasted fine; you did not.-- Then, the three of you went back upstairs to your room and you and Will proceeded to get ready for the day while Jay got back into bed and proceeded to drink his coffee, call Hailey (who was on her into work), and watch highlights of last night's NHL playoff games.
You and Will went to Kansas City Health College and University and right off the bat, you already got better vibes than those at SAU. Everyone was friendlier, maybe that was just a Midwest thing, but either way, you'd take it.
You toured the school (well, it was more like a building) and you liked it better than SAU as well. They were all about their students here and it was obvious they cared about them and their success. There was a student area complete with a fridge where you could store your lunches for the day and a microwave to use, as well as some comfy chairs and a couch for students to study on and relax. There was a little bar area where students could eat or study. And, there were even two gaming consoles in front of a flat-screen tv, a foosball table, and a ping-pong table for students to use so that they can chill out and hang out with friends. The lady who was giving you a tour even said that last week, they even had a staff vs students ping-pong tournament.
Then, you went and looked at some of the classrooms along with the lab, which you would be using for your neuroanatomy lab and she went over some of the other things the school offered, such as counseling services.
Then, she gave you time to ask any questions you might have for her, you met with the program director and asked her program specific-questions, such as scheduling and the like, and then you met with the dean of students who just wanted to introduce herself and let her know that you could come to her with any concerns you might have.
The entire tour and meetings/question and answer sessions only lasted about two hours, but one thing was for sure: you had found the school for you.
(And, once you were completely finished, Will took a picture of you outside the school that you planned to post on your Instagram tonight.)
***
"How'd it go?" Jay asked when you and Will walked back into the hotel room. This time, Jay's hair was wet and you assumed he had gone to the gym and then taken a shower while you had been gone because you'd now been gone from the hotel for a total of three hours, and despite relaxing when you had left, you knew Jay couldn't sit still for three hours watching random sports highlights or shitty, unrealistic reality tv.
"She loves it," Will said before you could even answer the question.
"Really? Better than SAU, then?"
"Way better. They really care about their students." You then recapped everything you learned, including the student lounge area, how small the cohorts were, etc.
"I'm glad you like it. Ready to go look at apartments?"
That was what was next on your agenda, apartment hunting. You had used up the rest of your sick to take some time off in June to come back if you still needed to find an apartment, but you really didn't want to come back and look again if you didn't have to. You'd prefer to use that time to do things you needed to get done before moving such as going to the eye doctor to see if you needed new glasses and going to the dentist. And, not needing to use that time to come back down here to look at apartments meant that you could use those days for job interviews as well. That was another thing you needed to do after apartment hunting: job hunting.
"Just let me change first. I am not wearing dress pants to look at apartments. And, I'm putting my hair up," you told Jay.
After quickly changing into something more comfortable and putting your hair up, Will changed his clothes as well and the three of you went out to the car to start apartment hunting.
***
You had been looking at apartments online in a historic district called Regent's Circle. It looked very pretty in the photos, but they couldn't really do it justice. Once you parked and walked around, you knew this was where you wanted to live.
Since it was a historic district, it had old townhouses and cobblestone sidewalks, as well as a little coffee shop that Jay said you could go to after you looked at some apartments, a park right in the center of the area, and even a community garden.
It made you think of all the vintage cities you saw in photos and, since your grad school didn't have that old-timely Harvard/Yale feel, at least the place you were living would...if you could find an apartment here, that is.
You had three apartments you wanted to check out that you had found online, but if you found ones while walking around, you'd look at those as well.
The first one you looked at was nice, but it was really dimly lit and dark inside, which you didn't really like. You'd live there if that was the only thing available, but you didn't want to. (At least it was a loft and had exposed brick like you wanted. But, you had filtered for lofts. You wanted something like Kelly and Stella's apartment, but on a smaller scale...and something that you could afford.)
The second one you looked at, you absolutely fell in love with.
It was more expensive than the previous one, but it had a pool. And, something Jay liked was that the parking lot was gated and you needed a code to get in and you'd be on the second floor.
It was a one-bedroom and was a loft style, of course, so it was very open. There was a long marble island, so you wouldn't even need to buy a table, just a set of barstools. The main wall in the living/kitchen that faced the back of the building—as well as the dog park, so you could see cute puppies while watching tv—, was all exposed brick with some windows on it. There were also beams exposed in the ceiling.
The bathroom sink was separate from the shower/tub and the toilet, meaning someone could do their makeup while someone else was going to the bathroom if needed. But, this wasn't your favorite part about the bathroom. No, your favorite part was that it was a wide, circular bathtub/shower, a soaking tub if you will, which would come in handy for taking warm, relaxing baths after long days of classes, studying, and practicums.
And, something that Jay pointed out, the floor was concrete, so you didn't have to worry about spilling something on the carpet and staining it and getting charged for it. (You assumed Jay was speaking from experience during his bachelor pad days, but when you asked him, he said he was pleading the fifth.)
The apartment definitely gave you Stella and Kelly vibes and it was in a safe area.
Then, you finished the tour by looking at the fitness center and then gave the manager who had helped you your email address and phone number and he gave you a few pieces of paper with information as well as his business card.
"That's the one I want," you told Jay and Will when you were sitting outside at the little coffee shop a quarter mile away from the apartment you had just toured drinking a latte and eating a danish.
"It's a bit pricey," Jay pointed out.
"They're all like that if she wants it in a safe area," Will said.
"Would you rather have me be safe and live in a bit more expensive apartment? Or not be safe and live in a cheap apartment? Plus, there's an in-unit washer and dryer, which you know is a deal-breaker for me."
All the way back when you were in Arizona, you had told Will that having an in-unit washer and dryer was one of your non-negotiables for your apartment. You knew that being a busy grad student, you wouldn't have all day to spend at a laundromat or in a community laundry area in your apartment, so you needed an in-unit washer and dryer.
"She's got a point, Jay," Will agreed. "And, she's got some savings to pull from if she can't find a job right away."
"And it's five minutes away from school and I don't need to drive on the highway. I'm saving money in gas and time without all the traffic."
"And here I thought Will was the boujee sibling," Jay said, causing Will to roll his eyes.
You smiled. "I'll take that as your seal of approval."
And three days later, when you were back at work and had downtime during your shift, you applied for the apartment.
***
Two and a half months later, mid-July
Everything was in place. You secured the apartment you wanted in Regent's Circle in Kansas City, you had gotten an online tutoring job that was flexible where you could work from home, so you could work around your school and practicum schedules, and you were mostly packed up. (And you had gotten into SAU even after bombing the interview, but decided not to go because they—especially Dr. Haldon—absolutely did not pass the vibe check...and they got back to you two months later instead of two weeks like they had originally told you.) Your favorite coworkers had even thrown you a little surprise goodbye party complete with mini cupcakes and a few gifts, which included a card, two energy drinks, and a Starbucks gift card.
And now, you were leaving in two days, which was why you were very confused when Jay had made you stop doing laundry and packing up last-minute things and told you to get ready because you were going somewhere.
"Hailey, help me out here," you began, "where are we going?"
"Can't tell you that," she told you.
"Okay...how do I need to dress then?"
"Casual," she answered. "With a little bit of makeup."
You nodded. "Still didn't give me any hints. Rude."
And then you walked into your room to change and do your makeup with Jay and Hailey laughing in the background.
***
"Molly's? Really?" You asked when Jay parked on the street where Molly's Pub was located. "You couldn't have just told me that?"
"I'm just picking something up from Kelly," Jay answered. "And, I thought you might want to see Stella one more time before you leave and she's bartending tonight."
The three of you got out of Jay's truck—Hailey citing the fact that who knows how long Jay and Kelly would talk as her reasoning for not staying in the truck—and then walked into Molly's.
"Surprise!" was what you heard when you walked in.
You looked around with wide eyes to see a banner that said Farewell Y/N! and everyone from Intelligence, 51, and everyone you knew at Med. Even Voight was here and from snippets of conversation you had heard here and there, he was one step above being legally barred from entering Molly's.
You put your hand over your mouth as tears came to your eyes. "You guys."
"You didn't think we'd send you off without a party, did you?" Kelly asked.
"I wasn't expecting one, no."
Then Stella walked up to you. "Well, you got one. And all your drinks are on the house tonight." She handed you a drink. "Starting with this cherry vodka sour."
Stella knew that was your favorite.
A few minutes later, after everything had died down a bit, Voight came up to you while you were talking to Stella and Kelly at the bar.
"Congrats, kid," he said.
"Thank you," you replied.
"You've always been sort of like a daughter to me and to everyone in Intelligence for that matter, so I'm gonna keep it short." He handed you an envelope. A fat envelope at that. "For rent. And, there's the numbers of a sergeant and a couple of officers I know down there in case you run into any trouble."
"I can't accept this. It's too much." You hadn't even opened it, but by the thickness of the envelope, you knew it contained a lot of money.
"You can and you will. Justin never really used his college fund, and I wanted it to go to something worthwhile."
(This was in fact, a lie. This was money from Voight being Voight, but you didn't need to know that. And more importantly, Jay didn't need to know that...even though, after you counted out the bills, Jay would have his suspicions.)
You nodded. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. Stay out of trouble."
And then, he gave you a hug and left the bar because even though he was legally allowed to enter, he knew he still would never be accepted there. And, the less time he spent there, the better.
***
After talking and laughing with everyone for about an hour, Hermann yelled to be heard over the noise.
"Okay, everyone! Listen up!" The room quieted. "It's time to give Y/N her presents."
Then, Ritter came out one of the employees-only doors, pushing a food service cart containing multiple gift bags and boxes wrapped in colorful wrapping paper.
You were just about to say something when the door opened and you whirled your head around.
You jumped off your barstool and ran up to him.
"Casey!"
He pulled you into a hug. "You didn't think I'd miss my favorite kid's going away party, did you?"
"I thought you were in Oregon!"
"Just in time," Will said.
Then, you looked between your two brothers and at all of the firefighters in the bar. They didn't look surprised to see Casey at all.
"You knew about this?"
Jay laughed. "Who do you think told him?"
"Enough with the logistics," Casey yelled. "Get this kid a drink! On me!"
"Her drinks are already free tonight!" Kelly yelled. "Which you would've known if you got here on time."
"Nice to see you, too, Severide," Casey shot back.
There were a couple of chuckles heard throughout the bar and then Hermann spoke up again.
"Open the gifts so we can get this cart out of here, will you?"
You laughed and shook your head and then opened your gifts, thanking every single person as you went.
51 got you a fire extinguisher and a Slamigan, which Kelly explained was less about opening doors and more for whacking someone over the head if they tried to break into your apartment. All the doctors and nurses got together and made you the best first aid kit you had ever seen, complete with more stuff than even Jay had in the first aid kit at home and you thought his was the best at-home first aid kit around. And, Intelligence got you a master lock for your door just for some added security. Also, Kevin and Adam got you a Taser. (They had to specify that it was just from them because Jay vetoed it for the joint gift, so they got it for you themselves.) And, Gallo, Ritter, and Violet gave you a case of their lightest IPA and a 12-pack of grapefruit seltzer so that you Jay, Hailey, and Will would have something to drink while working on moving you into your apartment.
Then, they did something that was even more unexpected than giving you all these gifts: they started chanting speech.
"Here, take this," Stella handed you a shot of what you assumed was vodka. "Liquid courage."
You took it and then took a deep breath.
"I wasn't really prepared to give a speech—I wasn't prepared for any of this since it was a surprise—so it might not be the greatest," you began. You looked around the room at everyone who had come out to celebrate you tonight, of all people. "Thank you all for coming, it really means a lot. Stella, thank you for making my hair beautiful for all my dances senior year. Sylvie, thank you for helping me with my biology homework when Will was busy at work so he couldn't help me. Thank you to all of 51 for making me laugh when I had to spend days there when I was younger when Will and Jay were busy and couldn't stay with me. Kelly and Matt, thank you for teaching me how to use a fire extinguisher and how to change the batteries in a smoke detector.
"Everyone at Med, thank you for putting up with me when I went to Med to find Will even if I was pulling you away from your jobs. I'm also sorry about that." That got a couple of laughs from some people. "Hannah, thank you for all your help earlier this year. I would've been even more of a mess if it weren't for your help.
"Trudy, thank you for putting up with me when I'd run into the district looking for Jay and for always giving me money to go get a snack and a pop from the vending machines. Kim, thank you for helping me with my Spanish. Kevin, thank you for taking me for my very first ride in a cop car when you were on patrol and Kim was pulled up to Intelligence for the day. Sorry, Trudy." She glared at Kevin, but then laughed, so you knew it wasn't that serious. "Adam, thank you for teaching me how to pick locks because Jay told me that he'd never teach me that."
Now, you turned to face Hailey and your brothers and the tears started to fall.
"Hailey, thank you for coming into my brother's life and for loving him and during that time, for loving me as well. Thank you for becoming the closest thing to a mom that I've ever had."
Hailey put her hand over her mouth and blinked rapidly to hold back her tears, but then just gave up and let a few of them slide down her cheeks.
"And to Will and Jay, God I can't even put into words how much you two mean to me. You became like father figures to me. Your both have put your careers on the line whether that be to pick me up from school on time, or to leave a shift to come to one of my academic awards ceremonies. Thank you. And thank you for putting up with me for these past six months and for being there and helping me through this process. I couldn't have done it without you both."
By the end of your speech, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
And, despite saying that you didn't really think you'd miss Chicago and would relish living on your own, by the end of the night, you knew that in two days, you'd feel pangs of homesickness when you drove away from all these people who had become like a family to you over the years.
***
4 days later
You looked around your apartment at all the hard work you, Jay, Will, and Hailey had put in during these past two days. The four of you had hauled ass the past two days to get you completely moved in by Sunday night so that Will, Jay, and Hailey could leave and be home at a decent time in the morning so that Will could make it to his 3 pm-3 am shift on time.
"We should probably get going," Will stated. He had said that an hour ago, but there had been a silent agreement between the four of you to prolong your brothers' and sister-in-law's stay as long as possible. Even though you said you were more excited than nervous, it didn't mean that you wouldn't miss them.
You were not going to cry because you knew if you started crying, you'd want to jump in Jay's truck and go home with them, and you knew you couldn't do that.
"One last picture," Hailey said and pulled out her phone, and handed it to Will, who was the tallest of the four of you.
You all crowded together while Will held Hailey's phone and took a selfie.
Now, it was time for goodbye.
Hailey was up first.
"I'm gonna miss you," she told you.
Tears sprang to your eyes. "I'm gonna miss you, too. Make sure Jay doesn't get shot, okay?"
"I'll do my best. You know he's a bullet magnet."
"Unfortunately."
Then, you gave her a big hug. She knew how much she meant to you and vice versa, so there wasn't a need for a long, drawn-out goodbye between you two.
Next up, was Will.
He pulled you into a hug and told you he'd love and miss you and then pulled away and put his hands on your shoulders.
"You call me if you need anything, okay? And I mean anything."
All you could do was nod because you knew if you said anything, you'd just start crying.
Last but certainly not least, was Jay.
He gave you a bone-crushing hug, during which you tried not to sob.
But, when he pulled away and you saw him trying his best to hold back tears, that's when the waterworks started.
"I'm gonna miss you, so much!"
Jay hugged you again. "And I'm gonna miss you, too. But I am so, so proud of you."
You nodded and wiped your tears. "I love you, Jay Jay."
"Love you, too, kiddo."
Jay took a deep breath to steady himself. "We need to go, but if you need anything at all, I'm only eight hours away, about five or six with lights and sirens."
"I know. Voight might kick your ass for using them all the way to Kansas City, though."
"That would probably be Platt, which is arguably scarier."
Then, you walked the three of them to your door and watched them leave.
Hailey sent you the picture and you posted some highlights of these two days including another picture in front of your school of the four of you that you had a passerby take and some funny videos you took while moving in, one of which was Jay and Will arguing over how to build a couch because Jay refused to read the directions.
Then, you posted all of these on your Instagram with the caption Onto the next adventure.
Jay and Hailey both reposted the post on their Instagram stories with Jay captioning it Not a dad, but I think this is what being a proud dad feels like with a heart emoji at the end, and Will posted the picture of the four of you in front of your school on his account with the caption Soon, there will be two Dr. Halsteads.
And, little did you know, Jay, Will, and Hailey did not have to be back tomorrow because Will had to work. That was a lie. They were getting a hotel room to make sure everything went okay on your first night alone in your apartment.
Because even though you were living on your own and would be a state away, they would do anything to help you succeed, whether that be helping you with applications, going with you to an ultrasound, or telling you a white lie so that they could make sure you were okay.
You wouldn't trade them for the world.
And, Jay had been right: you got this.
A/N: If you made it this far, congratulations! You finished my longest imagine ever! If you liked it, don't forget to reblog/like and comment because I love hearing what you guys think! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!
taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @911ls-tarlos @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88 @glitterquadricorn @luvreading67 @smoothdogsgirl @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff@actlikesummerr @lcothr523 @star-wars-lover
#imagine#fanfic#fanfiction#chicago pd#chicago med#chicago pd imagine#chicago med imagine#chicago pd fanfiction#chicago med fanfiction#chicago pd fanfic#chicago med fanfic#jay halstead#will halstead#halstead sister#hailey upton#jay halstead imagine#jay halstead fanfic#jay halstead fanfiction#will halstead imagine#will halstead fanfic#will halstead fanfiction#halstead sister imagine#writer#writing#my writing
125 notes
·
View notes
Photo
This was meant to be finished last night, but last night, something went wrong with my CryptPad and I spent a long while dealing with it(I think it might be due to a glitch or the weather since it's been raining in California a lot), it's fixed now.
Anyways, I felt like doing another picture of DIO and my OC together:
The story here is that it's Medea's 19th birthday, but Medea, despite prodding from Mariah and Midler, accepts the fact that she can't celebrate it because she has to work at the mansion per Enyaba's orders, as well as feeling alone since Jason isn't around to celebrate with her like they did in the past.
Just then, Kenny G arrives to inform her that DIO has left her a present in her room and brought it to her, the present was a plum colored evening dress and purple pumps, as well as a note saying:
"To Medea
This is for you, you deserve a little treat for all the services you've done under my ruling, I like to see you in this tonight at 7~
- DIO
P.S. Don't worry about Enyaba, I sent her away so we can go out uninterrupted"
While the girls were thrilled that she got a date as a present, Medea on the other hand was cringing at the idea of being alone with him due to her first affair with him which resulted in her losing her purity, as well as not wanting to draw unwanted attention from the other Agents serving, MOSTLY Vanilla Ice for obvious reasons.
When the night came, Medea is wearing the outfit DIO gave her(Mariah helped with the make up) while he wore a formal suit.
DIO praised her for how beautiful she looked in it, Medea thanked him halfheartedly as she has a bad feeling about the whole thing, believing that he's either trying to seduce her like before or just flaunting her around the streets of Cairo like she's a purebred puppy or an expensive car as she is told to wear a fake wedding ring so they look'd like a couple.
Meanwhile, her Stand is NOT having any of this as they stare daggers at him during the whole time they're together, still pissed at him from what happened to their user before.
Medea and [Flogging Molly] belongs to Me
#artwork#jojo's bizarre adventure#dio brando#jojo oc#oc#jojo stands#stand oc#canon x oc#birthday#fashion#formal wear
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
A/N: After much anticipation, here’s the next chapter. Sorry it took so long and I hope you enjoy it. I know the direction I want this story to go, but sometimes putting it into action is a struggle.
***
In Miss Blye’s Class Part 11
Kensi groaned, smacking at her phone in the futile belief that it would make the incessant beeping stop. Whatever part of her had thought it would be a good idea to get up at 5 to work out before work had long since passed.
She let herself lay in bed a few minutes, recalling the night before.
It turned out that Caleb had needed batteries for the TV remote and once that minor calamity was sorted out, Deeks asked, half teasing, if she wanted to watch an episode of Avengers Assemble with them. Kensi was tempted, but she wasn’t sure she could handle sitting next to Deeks for an entire show, the memory of their almost kiss simmering between them.
“You know what, I would love to, but I really need to go. So many assessments to grade this time of year,” she’d given as her excuse. “But you guys could come over for dinner next Tuesday,” she added, making her way to the doorway as she collected her purse. “You know, as repayment for tonight.”
“Uh, not to be rude, but you’ve mentioned multiple times that cooking isn’t your favorite extracurricular,” Deeks had reminded her. “Are you trying to poison me?”
“Haha. I’ll be ordering Mexican.” She’d jabbed a finger at his chest, making contact with the hard muscle beneath. “And please don’t tell me you don’t like Mexican, because I will never speak to you again.”
Deeks had laughed outright at that. “Don’t worry, I love tacos, burritos, and a good corona any time,” he’d assured her. “Probably more than is healthy. In fact, I know a place along the beach that sells the best fish tacos.”
“Well, then we’ll have to go sometime. Make a day of it.”
“I’d like that.”
They’d chatted for a few more minutes before Kensi finally left.
Kensi rolled over in bed now and scrubbed her hands over her face. Somehow, they kept knocking down the barriers (admittedly very flimsy barriers) every time they saw each other. What made it worse was that she was less bothered by it every day.
Sighing, she finally pushed herself up and stalked to the bathroom before she gave up completely and just went for donuts instead.
***
The next few weeks were busy for both of them, each having several late meetings that prevented meeting up outside of Kensi’s promised dinner on Tuesday. Thankfully, Deeks readily agreed eat out which saved her the trouble of cleaning her apartment to a guest-worthy state.
There were only about 6 weeks left to the school year, which meant everyone was scrambling to get final field trips, presentations, and the oh-so dreaded testing and assessment completed in time.
Throughout it all, they kept up a steady conversation and she saw Deeks occasionally in the car line. But otherwise, they didn’t seem much of each other.
One Wednesday, Kensi and Nell stayed late to power through their remaining reports and organize their rooms. By 8, Kensi had lost her steam and felt just a little defeated, surrounded by what seemed like the entire contents of her classroom closet.
Nell had finished her own work and moved on to showing Kensi pictures of the costume she was sewing for a convention in the summer.
“That’s going to be gorgeous,” Kensi complimented her, staring at the elaborate design in awe. “But don’t you think it’s going to get a little warm?”
“Eh, can’t be as bad as the latex catsuit I wore two years ago.” She waved off Kensi’s concern. “Anyway, finishing this is my weekend plan. What about you, Kens? Any big plans?” She wiggled her eyes mischievously, and then as if Kensi didn’t understand her meaning. “With the charming and unfairly attractive Mr. Deeks.”
“No, no plans, we’ve both been pretty busy,” Kensi said.
“Oh come on, Kens, you have to give me something,” Nell moaned. “I’m dying here.”
“You have a boyfriend you adore. You shouldn’t need to live vicariously through me.”
“Yeah, but he’s at an IT seminar so I need something to distract me. And as we’ve already established, Marty Deeks is hot, smart, and charming and you are clearly crazy about him.”
“I am not crazy about him and like I keep telling you—”
“You’re just friends,” Nell interrupted in a singsong voice, swaying her head back and forth. “Yeah, I know what you said. And you can deny it all you want but everyone who’s seen you and the good lawyer around each other knows you have a thing.”
“We do not have a thing,” Kensi protested.
“Yes, you do. And you know it. Come on Kensi, why are you lying to me and yourself about this? You’re usually not this hesitant.”
“I’m just using a normal amount of caution.” Nell gave her an unimpressed look.
“I’ve know you for 6 years and last time you showed an ounce of caution was when you decided that eating 4 day old sushi might be a bad idea,” she said. “Why are you still hesitating when this is clearly something that you want?”
“I do really like him,” Kensi admitted softly. “You know my track record with guys isn’t exactly fantastic and Deeks is…you’re right he’s charming, and funny, and a really amazing guy. I don’t want to destroy things by pushing too hard too fast.”
Which was the exactly reason she’d been on maybe three dates the last year that didn’t go beyond one date.
“We almost kissed a couple weeks ago.” Kensi saw Nell’s eyes widen and watched her visibly tamp down any reaction. Her forced neutral expression was pretty hilarious. “We got interrupted and at first I was disappointed, but then the more I thought about it, I was relieved.”
“Ok, definitely confused now,” Nell commented.
“Every time I think about taking the next step, I start imagining Deeks telling me that he’s not ready or breaking up with me in a couple months when he finds out what I’m really like. I don’t think I could handle it.”
Nell squeezed her hand, eyes turning sympathetic.
“Oh Kens, that’s the problem. You’re not even at that stage and you’re imagining the worst case scenario. Maybe you and Marty Deeks won’t be star crossed lovers, but you’ll never know if you don’t give it a chance.”
“Deeks doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to move things forward either,” Kensi reminded her.
“I’m not saying you need to jump him in the hallway,” Nell drawled with a roll of her eyes.
“Nell!” Kensi gasped, as always, shocked when her seemingly demure friends said something outrageous. Nell just continued with a devious smile.
“But giving those muscles a feel after Caleb goes to sleep…”
“You are shameless,” Kensi retorted. Like she hadn’t daydreamed about the way he looked with his sleeves rolled up. The sound of Nell’s phone ringing brought her back to the present and Nell jumped up with a little smile.
“Ooh, that’s Eric. He said he’d call when the seminar was over for today,” she said, gesturing to Kensi as she made a beeline for the door. “I need to go home so I can flirt with my boyfriend in peace, but when I see you tomorrow, I expect an update on the Deeks situation.”
Shaking her head, Kensi rubbed her hands over her eyes. Nell made it sound so easy. She spent the rest of the evening shoving everything back into her closet and debating Nell’s advice.
#ncis la fanfiction#kensi blye#Nell#marty deeks#teacher kensi#lawyer deeks#au#in miss Blye’s class#part 11#ejzah fanfiction
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Good Time, a Good Omens One-Shot
Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley
Plot: Aziraphale, instead of enjoying a delicious meal, misses his dear serpent demon.
Number of Chapters: 1
Note from Writer: This wasn’t intended for Valentine’s Day. I just wrote it because I love these supernatural dorks so much.
Expect more stories to come after. Not just on Good Omens, as well
Enjoy this gift anyway to you taken lovers and fellow singleteers. Happy Valentine’s Day/Single Apperciation Day 🥰👍🏾
.
.
.
The food was always enjoyable. It was the very things humanity had to offer in life that Aziraphale most valued, along with his book collection. But as of now, resting in front of him as the food’s heat began to die out, for the first time in six thousand years Aziraphale made no move to consume.
It was an idea from the start of the ending day. After closing his shop and another well done for accomplishing no buyers to purchase his first editions, the man-formed angel decided to treat himself for a dinner this evening. He has done this before. Plenty of times for centuries. The sight of his curly blond hair made his presence as a regular in every restaurant he’d chosen in Soho, the Ritz being his favorite. Not tonight, though - he had a taste for sushi tonight.
There was no sushi, however, as his mind swapped the cold meal of wrapped rice and vegetables for a wanton soup. Despite not being a common dish to purchase, Aziraphale wouldn’t deny of his approval to its delicacy; a delicious warm broth of colored amber with herbs and spices to capture his senses, while also hiding away the chewable of meats and pastas and vegetables like a liquid blanket, was a treat to behold and understand as another customer’s favorite.
It truly was a delicious dish.
Just not one he was fond to consume at the moment, as the cooling liquid amber gave his mind memory of two smaller sets of liquid amber, one that has temperature rising and falling very quickly at the quickest of emotions.
Along with snake-like pupils to take on his unique nature, physically and spiritually. A styled bundle of short hair with a red exact to a forest fire’s flames. And, of course he wouldn’t forget, the formation of a smirk of mischief that could have archangels cautious on attack but would have Aziraphale warm as receiving his favorite dessert just for the Hell of it, nothing in particular or for occasion.
A sigh escaped his muted lips. The metal spoon stirred at low speed, the slight pressure from the foods inside being brushed at every stir. This was one of the very, very few meals Crowley has consumed throughout the millennia. Hardly would he chew, only swallow down in satisfaction of the burning desire of alcohol in mix with the flavored taste of chosen grapes. Aziraphale would do so, of course; it was a common routine they shared, after all.
But then one evening, Aziraphale was able to convince the stubborn man to try at least one meal when coming to this restaurant together. He brought the particular dish out of random, and for his sake took up at least half of the amount, much to Aziraphale’s gladness.
“Not bad,” the demon commented nonchalantly. Aziraphale was satisfied either way, and gladly finished the rest for him.
As of now, this dish was the permanent signature creation for the serpent demon—or, when the angel stopped fooling himself, was just a reminder of longing for companionship by one: his dearest best friend.
“Is everything to your liking, sir?”
The voice was gentle and careful, as not to not to disturb so rudely, but Aziraphale did jolt from his thoughts, now aware of the curious waitress. He was lucky nothing spilled.
“Oh!” He breathed out, then calmed with a caring smile. “Oh, just fine, dear. Thank you.”
She nodded with a returning smile, then headed off to the vacant table with the dirty dishes to collect and clean afterwards. Rush hour ended about an hour or two ago; the night was out and streetlights were present outside, seeing people walking by as they headed for home or late-night stores. Customers of a low population sat and eat in the restaurant, being acceptable and diminishing behavior as the restaurant’s hours were near.
How long was he present? Steam no longer left from the surface, possibly less than lukewarm at the moment. Although, his mind then came up with, the steam was nothing to compare of the releasing heat of emotions Crowley would come up with. Even though it was usually done at serious times, a grin managed to form on the angel’s face, humor causing a muted laugh to escape with body shakes.
The notice of hisses in his words, releasing the serpent within. A neck straining out from frustration. And sometimes, when those blasted glasses weren’t present, the variety of emotions running over his eyes as fast as the speed of his car.
“You go too fast for me, Crowley.”
The mind was a cruel thing. The smile faded, and he rested back on the booth’s seat. Distractions of the food was no help anyway.
“How I miss you wily serpent.”
Crowley’s presence was as enjoyable as reading a new book of the twenty-first century that managed to grab his attention. Even though he has eaten alone before, it didn’t bothered him this much. Perhaps it wasn’t a good time to do so. Not when nothing - or no one sat opposite from him, to occupy and wait and speak when possible out of hidden respect and kindness.
He sighed in disappointment and shut his eyes.
Crowley…
Knock! Knock!
His eyes darted open. For a moment he thought to be back in his shop, and having to deal with another customer who clearly didn’t see the closed sign - There’s no use in speaking with me if you don’t read what’s in front of you!
But the returning notice of mutters from customers, and the distanced work in the kitchen with clattering dishes and sizzling meals in oil, brought out the reality of his presence still in the restaurant. Although, when glancing at the table, there wasn’t a shadow present before…
Eyes widened, then his head whipped right towards the window.
His heart raced in joy. He knew that smirk anywhere, and gladly returned it with a glowing smile.
“Crowley.”
The man-formed demon straightened from bending towards the window, his nose almost near contact below the text-posted sign. Then with a hand up and near his face, the muffled sound of fingers snapping was done.
No one but the angel took notice of the man, no longer outside and now sitting across from Aziraphale, his body relaxing in a manner close to how he would on his couch.
“Well.” He felt the urge to straighten his clothes out, maybe fix his tie… But what for? It’s Crowley, not of an archangel to impress or show physical respect towards. He settled with his hands on his lap. “Fancy meeting you here,” he finished.
Crowley hummed. “How long was I out?”
“Three days.”
Three days of respectful waiting as the serpent called him one evening that he longed for a nap. When he would awake was the unknown abyss, a mile dive inside being each day of waiting for his return.
His eyebrows jumped to his hairline, then rearranged himself to rest crossed arms at the table. “Short time,” he muttered.
Aziraphale nodded. Thank Someone.
If he acted this way after three days, how would the angel be when waiting for a century? The Apocalypse would be no distraction when already prevented months back.
He then felt of a sharp gaze at him, the sensation he would receive and didn’t mind whenever Aziraphale ate with given silence by him. Realizing he was in thoughts again, he blinked and returned eye contact, snake eyes once more in public shielding of tinted glasses.
But his smirk had returned.
“Missed me?” He teased.
Desperately, his mind answered.
Aziraphale smiled. “A little.”
Crowley chuckled then played with the spoon in the bowl, stirring the now entirely cold meal. And yet, when the demon scooped an amount and brought it over to the angel, Aziraphale made no hesitation to take the amount.
It was warm again.
Just as his smile that never left during and leaving the restaurant, this time not alone.
.
.
.
.
.
Cheers. *lifts up glass of champagne* To the second season 🥂
#good omens#good omens fanfiction#aziraphale#crowley#one is the loneliest number#fanfiction writer#good omens season two#neil gaiman#valentines day#single appreciation day#fanfiction#writerscommunity#ao3 writer
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
“I Think We’re Alone Now!” WIP preview
So bad news, I wanted to work on the next Indi-Quack because I’m making a lot of progress with it but couldn’t. Some good news, I was able to finish up two different scenes for this one-shot I’m working on. Granted they’re only introduction scenes but I liked how they both turned out.
The one-shot takes place during the third season of DuckTales when Gandra Dee was still working for F.O.W.L. and Fenton was the only one he knew. I always thought it’d be interesting if someone from F.O.W.L. were to ever find out about Fenton and Gandra’s relationship. Probably not the first person to come up with that.
Anyway here’s the scene that introduces Della, Penumbra, and Selene to the story.
(TW: This scene contains alcohol consumption. The characters drinking are of the required drinking age)
“So this is the reason why we came out?” The moonlander inquired as she stared down at the drink that was ordered for her, which was the same as the other two drinks present at the table. “To drink a beverage? It does not seem like something that would be specific to us “girls” for a “night out” to make it special.”
“Well yes, but also no; the activities alone do not make it special, but the fact that it’s us girls are doing it together.” The goddess answered. “Besides, drinking is a lot of fun; especially when you’re with Della Duck.”
“Yeah!” Della Duck agreed as she smiled up at the two women accompanying her. “Besides, it’s not like I can do stuff like this everyday Penny. I’ve got kids! I can’t drink in front of them, especially Dewey. That kid is very impressionable. Now go on! Take a sip!”
Penumbra was not in her comfort zone tonight, but she was okay with that. She was out with friends. Well at least one friend, Della; Della’s other friend that was present a swan who was also the Goddess of the Moon that Penumbra was still getting familiar with. But so far, that night had gone smooth for the moonlander and she was glad Della convinced her to go out.
In fact the outing this trio was partaking in was all Della’s idea. It had been a long time since the duck had a night out with friends and the stars were all aligned for her.
Selene was in town due to her father temporarily losing his god powers and had wanted to have a fun night with her dear friend. Della was more than happy to fulfill her friend’s request for it had been far too long since she had a fun night out with friends and she knew a certain moonlander who had to be there. Penumbra did have an interest in trying out more of Earth’s customs and was curious about meeting her new friend’s old friend.
Della needed this night to be one her girlfriends will never forget. She wanted both of her friends to know how much she loved their company.
Della, Dewey, and Webby put together matching shirts for the group and their night out: light blue shirts with the words Moon Crew on the front. On the back of each of their respected shirt was their own name.
Della even took them to what she considered one of the best bars in Duckburg.
Clearly the duck wanted tonight to be special night. And Penumbra knew it.
The moonlander grabbed her drink and once again inspected it. In the light, the beverage did look like some shade of gold, yet the foam flowing out of the mug was white. Penumbra took a sip of the beverage known as “beer”.
Della and Selene sat in silence while the Moonlander took a big sip of her beer, tasting it in her mouth before swallowing it down.
“…This tastes awful.” Penumbra stated.
“Yeah!” Della nodded.
“…And yet” Penumbra stated as she inspected the beverage yet again, “I wanna take another sip.”
“Yeah!” Della nodded.
“Let’s all take a sip!” Selene suggested as she grabbed her stein.
“Oh yeah!” Della exclaimed as she grabbed her beer and rose it up high. “To the Moon Crew!”
“To the Moon Crew!” Selene rose her glass up.
“To the Moon Crew.” Penumbra solemnly repeated as she rose her glass up high.
Della and Selene clinked the beers against Penumbra’s. The three then began their sip.
Not knowing how long the sip was supposed to last, Penumbra kept an eye on her two companions who looked as if they intended on finishing their beverages. Which they all did.
“Woo!” Della exclaimed as she slammed her glass against the table.
CRASH!
Penumbra slammed her glass down a little too hard, the only thing that remained intact was the handle in her hands.
Selene had to stop herself from spitting her beer out at the table. Once she gulped down the remainder of her beer she burst out in laughter. “Oh you were right Della! Your friend here is a lot of fun.”
“I am indeed a barrel of monkeys.” Penumbra proudly stated as she set the handle on the table. “And it looks like our night out will be just that.”
“Oh yeah, that’s what I wanna hear!” Della excitedly told her friend.
“…Do we have to keep drinking this beer, though?” Penumbra asked.
“Oh no, there are plenty of other drinks you can choose from Penny.” Della handed the moonlander the drink menu as she called over for their server.
“Yeah, a round of Jell-O shots for the table, a Jack and Pep for me, and an order of nachos and the fried app sampler.” Della looked over to her goddess friend, “Selene. Do you need to see the menu?”
“I��d like a Xinomavro, leave the bottle.” Selene requested.
“That’s my girl!” Della looked over to Penumbra, “Penny do you need more time?”
“Hmm…” Penumbra looked at the menu and then to the server, she then pointed showed the menu to the waiter and pointed at her order, “I will have the Volcano.”
The server looked at the menu and then back to the moonlander, “Ma’am that drink is meant to be shared by at least three different people.”
“Then forget the Jello-shots and get three for the table!” Della requested.
“…All right then.” Their server walked away.
“Oh and three waters!” Della looked back to her friends. “Do you think they heard us?”
“Eh, we’ll see.” Selene shrugged as she looked around the bar. “Is this place normally this busy?”
“Oh yeah, every Saturday night is Trivia Night. I figured we could take a crack at that and show these regulars we mean business.” Della said.
“Our night will be a triumphant one.” Penumbra proclaimed.
“They don’t stand a chance against the combined intellect of the Moon Crew.” Selene smirked at her friends.
Just then the host of trivia night approached the mic.
“Welcome to Trivia Night. Tonight’s category is Movies that Were Released from 2007-2017”
“Damn.” The Moon Crew cursed in unison.
“Well, we could always do darts or karaoke once they finish up.” Della shrugged.
Anyway, that’s it for now. Hopefully this won’t take too long. I just think it’s great that I’m working on two different WIPs were Della and Gandra can act chaotically good together
#ducktales fanfiction#della duck#lieutenant penumbra#ducktales penumbra#ducktales selene#alcohol#tw alcohol#the moon crew#writebackatya
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Merilyn & Antonio
Summary: An unfinished WIP I'd like to share anyway, wherein a normal human fella is allowed to watch his werewolf girlfriend transform for the first time. I gave a small preview earlier, and while this section is the most complete, everything else that I have on the doc are scattered scenes and dialog for later. Someday I'd like to finish it up and add it to an occult anthology book I'd been thinking about doing for awhile (other stories so far include vampires on a deadline, and a mermaid becoming human, and maybe something else). But I'm pacing myself on it.
Rating: K
Word count: 632 (unfinished)
. . .
He always knew this day would come, but at the same time he didn’t feel ready for it either.
“Is this list really necessary?” he wondered, looking up at Merilyn.
“For me? No.” she said. “For you? Absolutely. One small thing goes wrong during or after the transformation, and you can kiss your pretty little everything goodbye.”
“It can’t be that bad.”
Merilyn shot Antonio a look so cold, a small shiver ran up his spine. She marched on over to him, grabbed him by the collar, and pulled him into a fervent kiss. When they parted, he still trailed behind her like a lost puppy.
“You’re one of the best things to happen to me,” Merilyn even softly told him. “Don’t mess this up. Don’t mess my trust up. Okay?”
“Okay.” Antonio agreed with a dreamy sigh. Two years of dating and he still got a headrush every time he kissed her. Was it because she was part of the occult? Was there some part of hidden werewolf lore where you just had an endless devotion to your other? He didn’t know, and he wondered if he really cared. He loved her, and he was certain he’d keep loving her after tonight’s events.
“Now,” Merilyn said as she stepped back, “Read the list back to me. I want to make sure you’ve memorized what to do.”
Antonio nodded. He smoothed out the handwritten list before reciting its contents back in a clear tone.
“Ways to soothe a transformed werewolf. Item one: make sure that food is prepared for each transformation. Failure to do so may increase the loss of control (as wolf) or fainting (as human). Item two: while transformed, make sure that the wolf does not encounter stressors. This includes ones experienced by the human in both past and present matters. Failure to avoid this will result in loss of control. Item three: keep soothing objects and atmospheres close to the wolf while in transformation. Living persons may be used, but only if they are aware of the werewolf’s true state. Seek these objects, atmospheres, and persons out if the wolf shows signs of losing control.” Antonio paused. He looked up at Merilyn with a smug grin before asking, “That’s what I am, right? A soothing object?”
Merilyn gave a grunt as she folded her arms. “Just keep reading.” she hissed. Antonio’s grin only grew.
“Item four,” he went on, “Keep the wolf away from the non-occult while transformed. Failure to do so may result in local law enforcement, scientists, doctors, and animal control to seek out the werewolf in question. And item five: the transformed wolf is responsible for roughly two-thirds of their overall will. They will make decisions that go against their morals as human. Have patience and follow them closely. Failure to do so will result in worse fates for both you and them.”
Antonio looked up at Merilyn once more. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her bounce on her toes with anxiety.
“Does it hurt when you transform?” he wondered out loud.
Merilyn immediately let out a snort.
“The transformation to wolf is probably the easiest part.” she told him. She almost sounded amused at the idea of anything else. “Imagine all the hairs on your arm standing up at the same time. It’s a lot like that.”
“So what’s the worst part?”
Merilyn’s demeanor darkened slightly as she told him, “Transforming back.” She unconsciously held herself tight as she went on to explain more. “It’s the same process, more or less, but in reverse. You can feel every part of you shrink like you’re being compressed into a small box. Your senses dull while simultaneously becoming more apparent. It hurts, but more in a spirit kinda way and not a physical one.”
#writing#writing stuff#writers on tumblr#my writing#werewolves#werewolf#wip#original character#original characters#original story#i like adding my own lore to things lol
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dance all night♡
~Zev Avari
CW: Modern AU, suggestive, club setting–I've never actually been to a club, alcohol consumption, sexual themes, non explicit smut language, self indulgent asf, written with myself in mind but no gender specific pronouns used or explicit descriptors, implied fem alignment but.. only cus of a more fem presentation but otherwise fuck it here *slap* sexy dress
Word count: 1706
Rating: Mature
Note: there are multiple YouTube links throughout for the songs playing in the background or when music is mentioned yk to set the vibe, anyway I'm gonna make a Zev playlist eventually
Was it a good idea to sneak off without permission? Maybe not but you needed a break. Surely everyone would understand, right?
Making it past security you're met with the scene you haven't been in quite a while. It wasn't incredibly crowded, which you were grateful for, but the amount of people sent a rush through your body. You were ready to have some fun tonight.
Partying alone, again probably wasn't a good idea, nor was drinking alone, it was probably depressing from the outside looking in and dangerous considering your alone, but this wasn't the first stupid idea you've ever had.
As you made your way to the bar another figure entered the club. Blond hair swept across his forehead, his ends tipped with red, the man walked with confidence weaving through the crowd.
You ordered a drink letting the tension in your shoulders fall. Loosening up you allowed yourself to relax, forgetting about everyone that's stressed you out up until this point.
He saw you from across the room, intrigued by you. That dress did you well he'll admit, but he couldn't help but think how it would- no, stop, he doesn't know you, let him say hello first before he thinks of undressing you.
You finished your drink feeling the alcohol loosen you up in time with the start of the next song, making your way to the floor. A pair of bright red eyes followed you into the crowd, dancing by yourself. It seems like you like this song. You swayed and moved your hips to the music having a grand ole time. Your pretty little ass moved like water.
Letting loose you felt the music in your bones, dancing to your heart's content. You danced like nobody's watching, not a thing could bring you down from this high.
Your secret admirer began his approach with little thought. Without thinking he made his way to you, weaving his way through the crowd until you're right before him.
"What's a pretty thing like you doing all by themself?"
"Oh god-! You know you shouldn't sneak up on people," you said startled, holding your hand to your chest.
"I'm sorry, where are my manners, Zev," he said, holding out a practiced hand for you.
You hesitated before giving your name, putting your hand in his, immediately thrown in a loop as he twirled you around pulling you to his chest.
"That's a pretty name, looking for a dance partner perhaps?" Zev said with a firm grip on your waist.
"Bold approach I see? … well maybe for a little bit."
"That's all I need."
-
A dance turned into two, then into a few more drinks, and now the two of you well into the night were seen in the middle of the floor bumping and grinding as you passed flirtatious remarks back and forth.
"I like the way you move~" Zev spoke close to your ear as you leaned your back against his chest.
"You're not so bad a dancer yourself," you said, reaching your hand back around his neck.
"That's not what I'm talking about."
Zev wrapped his arms around you pulling your ass against his front. He ducked his head to the side of your face til his lips brushed the lobe of your ear.
"You been shaking your ass on me all night… making it hard to remain a gentleman ya know." Spinning you around he snaked his arms around your waist, his hands moving down grabbing fistfuls of your ass.
His breath next to your ear sent shivers up your spine despite your lightly sweat coated skin.
“Nobodys asking you to be a gentleman.. Zev,” you purred his name. “Plus I'm not sure your behavior thus far would be considered gentlemanly.” a new song filled the air as you gently moved his hands up from your butt to your waist.
“You haven't rejected me yet. How’s a man supposed to hold back anyway~?” he cooed.
Onlookers would think you're dating by the way you've been attached at the hip relentlessly flirting the whole night. Dancing on each other like your trying to fuck through your clothes you really did look like a pair of lovers.
It was frustratingly hot in here, stuck like a bead of sweat, Zev held you close, it was an intimate hold like one might hold a partner. Your breaths smelled of liquor –shots you took together– Zev looked at you intently with a certain glint in his eyes and he eyed you under dim lighting, strobe lights luminating parts of your face allowing him a little bit of a better look.
“You're so sexy you know that?”
“So I've been told.”
-
“Mmh~ fuck.”
The thump of your back hitting the door echoed through the surprisingly scarce bathroom.
One strap of your dress hung off your shoulder, the first few buttons of Zevs shirt undone. You made out sloppily, disheveled as the faint sounds of music from the club bounced off the walls. Your fingers tangled in the blond strands of hair as one leg wrapped around his waist; the kiss hot and heavy as a dribble of drool rolled down your chin.
*click*
The sound of the door locking rang through your ears.
“Zev?”
“I wanna fuck you.”
Simple and straightforward sure did the trick.
Did either of you expect the night to go this way? No but who's complaining?
With one hand up the bottom of your dress, Zev trailed your neck with his lips mumbling praises as his hand creeped up your thigh.
“You were teasing me weren't you? You wanted me to approach you, hm?” he said, nibbling on your ear.
You let out a breathy sigh as you arch into him, the hand on your thigh creeping upward still. Zevs nics and kisses moved down toward your exposed collar bone kissing your soft skin holding your body against him.
"God…" you breathed, reaching to undo the rest of his buttons.
"I think you were trying to seduce me, with your pretty face and sexy dance~" Zev closed in on your face, the grip on your thigh tightening.
"And what would you do if I was~?" You went for his belt buckle as Zev went to hike up your dress leaning into your lips.
"Well that just makes things better.." Zev kissed you as his fingers traced the hem of your underwear tickling the seams.
You had his pants unbuckled just as Zev reached for your other leg lifting you in his arms, back pressed against the door, legs around his waist.
"Tell me.. do you want me to fuck right against this door?"
Just as Zevs nimble fingers inched under the fabric of your underwear an obnoxious ringing noise sounded through the bathroom.
You both froze feeling almost as if you've been caught.
"Is that.. your phone?" You asked.
Zev ducking his head into your neck responded, "Ignore it."
"What if it's important?" you said though you were also tempted to ignore it in favor of whatever you're about to get yourself up to in this bathroom.
"It's not."
"And how do you know?"
"What can be more important than this?"
You stared at him blankly and after a beat he set you on your feet reaching into his pants, answering the phone without looking at the caller id.
"Yes?... oh it's you I- …yes,, that's exactly where I am but-... no- Guy!... I'm kinda busy right now… Guyy… this is embarrassing… alright… ok later"
You off to the side fixing your makeup in the mirror noticed Zev approach you from behind.
".. did you just say Guy a moment ago?"
It can't be the root of your stresses can it?
"Yea why?" He said, slithering his hands around your waist from behind.
"Nothing… What's your last name?" You turned around to face him leaning on the counter.
Zev blinked before answering, making a connection in his head.
"Avari."
You studied his face, noting the sharpness of his eyes. It was much easier to see in this lightning, and what a handsome man Zev was. You disregarded the similarities you found in your head in turn for admiring his features; you never really got to do that on the dancefloor, nor in your heated passion against the door. He really was beautiful. You pecked his lips without thinking, also noting their softness.
Zev watched you curiously, you started studying his face before your expressions softened and and your hands went up to his shoulders, pressing your thumb to the base of neck and following leading lines down his still open shirt. You didn't even try to hide that you were ogling him.
He stepped closer to you, crowding you against the counter before leaning towards your face.
"You wouldn't mind if I took you home with me would you? Treat you to better than a dirty bathroom, in a nice big soft bed?" Zev wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.
"You make a very tempting offer. What is it? Your big brother's waiting for you at home?" you teased wrapping your arms around his neck.
Zev averted his eyes embarrassed to have to admit this. "Listen… I very much want to finish what we started. There's no way I'm leaving you here for some random ass incel to pick you up. Even if I never see you again, I want to feel your skin for as long as you'll allow it."
His hands caressed your sides, straightening out your dress. You look up at him through the mirror, a small smile on your lips.
"That sounded pretty romantic, Zev. What would you do if I said no? Not that that's something I'm going to say any way," you said leaning back on his chest.
"The devilish seductress to have caught my eye this night denying me of my pleasures, well that would be embarrassing. So if it's okay with you, I'm either taking care of you in the back of an uber or I'm fucking you in my bed. Just know either option gets me your number."
"Oh you're getting more than just my number, pretty boy."
Maybe it was a good idea to sneak off without permission after all… at least for now at least.
©bitchkay.tumblr.com
Me: the end corny as fuck *rewrites*
#zev avari#court of darkness#fanfiction#otome fanfic#tw alcohol consumption#self insert#tw smut language
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
phantomjack
I prefer the rain
magicalara
Welcome
diejxnny
Rain of flowers
an-ngl
!Flowers´
bowtiebuns
Welcome To My Cave