#it wasnt pretty when i got home; i dont like being angry or frustrated
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could you tell us more abt sue & rat? i love your drawings of them :D
UM YEAH dont tempt ME with a good time !!!! you can find more posts of them in these tags:
#oscar-vargas ; #sue-williams ; #lucy and #miriam who are part of the supporting cast
this guy, sue, belongs to my friend min ( @ iminzemi on twitter and instagram ) art by min
more below !
its 5am and im off my shits
sooo both guys are from texas, usually when i draw rat hes 25ish, sue is usually 32-35 when we draw him (i forget exact age but their time together spans ten years). they start i believe around 1907 or 1909, just as cowboys were facing their extinction. just a warning, rat and sue's relationship is not THE MOST healthy lmao
sue's whole deal was that he was based on the johnny cash song, A Boy Named Sue. like the song, his father named him sue to make his life a living hell and sue left home with a big fight. he's repressed, closeted, insecure, angry, and not afraid to get a lil violent.
rat left texas when he was a teenager because he also did not have a good homelife and foresaw that it was only going to get worse when he began to act on his ~gay urges~. he travelled around the south until he was picked up by a gang at 18 and continued to travel with them, eventually becoming wanted in two states for things like robberies. he was given the nickname "rat" by his outlaw friends because he "looks like a rat", but his real name is Oscar Vargas.
this was the gang leader, sunny. he had a big chip on his shoulder because he and his family are natives and he lost everyone when he was younger, so now he acts and thinks like whatever he does to others is karmic retribution. he and rat had a loose affair when rat was 20-23ish, which was when he left the gang. (pic is years later)
rat left the gang after sunny took their robberies too far and killed some people.
rat and sue met when sue got on a job on a ranch with min's other characters, huo bao, anselmo, and thomas. rat was flirting with sue, but sue assumed he was being made fun of for having a ladies' name and smashed a glass on rat's face.
un/fortunately rat is a little pathetic and he puts up with a lot, he instigates fights and likes to fight, even does it for money sometimes, and is pretty good at taking a hit. so he wasnt deterred and continued to talk to sue, he and lucy+miriam had sue over for dinner, rat started to make moves which began to make sue very confused and frustrated. he continued to act out physically but rat being the stupid dick he is, was still not deterred, and sue began to have more confusing feelings that he fought with. they engaged in an unofficial but exclusive relationship through all of this
due to the time, they kept things very secret, but rat lives with lucy and miriam, who are also an interracial lesbian couple, so they figure things out and hide the secrets well enough. sue vacillates between his feelings on the relationship, but ultimately loves rat, though he isnt always sure how to express it. rat kinda gets him, but is still a shit-stirrer, so they still wrestle and bicker lol
later down the line, sue is going on longer trips to transport cattle for jobs, straining his relationship with rat, and one time his job goes pretty awfully. he's essentially framed for a crime (undecided if robbery or murder) but it just so happens its actually SUNNY'S crime and he's back in texas. sue has never heard of or met sunny, and no one knows who really did it, so sue spends several months in prison. (i.e. traumatized by the conditions and treatments of known gay men, he keeps his own status secret but still sees what other men face and is scared shitless.) after being released and coming home, sunny eventually ends up in their town and starts some things, making sue a little jealous, revealing rat's complicated past, and sunny informs rat that one of their old outlaw friends has died. sunny leaves with rat's threats.
later down the line, ten years into their relationship, sue's still doing long jobs, lucy and miriam are giving him crap for not being around and not settling etc etc and sue crumbles under the weight of their words, his own insecurities, the stress of hiding a relationship, and the state of being in a gay relationship in the first place.
sue runs away to washington without anything more than a note that he's gone off to work (i believe it was logging?). he plans to make good money and return to texas after the season so he can stay with rat longer, but he has an accident and is bedridden for much longer than he expected to be there. he ends up having to prolong his stay to heal and make the money. he only writes one postcard after months and months of agonizing over it, telling rat in a subtle way that he misses him, and then that he'll come back.
either 9 months or a year later, the night he comes back is in this comic, after rat flips out and then decides he wants sue back in his life and puts off the talk until later. they figure it out and sue is forced to be very honest, and rat tells him that he cant do that again, because rat wont wait. min and i have talked about them having a lavender wedding or perhaps no wedding but holding rings.
thats basically the gist! despite the long term story, we mostly just like to talk shit on them and make up goofy day-to-day scenarios to write. sometimes rat gets shit-faced, sometimes sue loses his temper, sometimes they go riding horses, stuff like that (:
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#im feeling better today#the last half an edible last night was a good reset button#not like full force good so not gonna jinx it but ye#i could use a kiss on the cheek and someone to make me some tea#but ill probably make some tea and get in my pjs#therapy wasnt so good yesterday#shes handing me off to someone with more trans experience so i have to do it all over again next week#i told her that i take edibles for anxiety sometimes and she said that the other person'd help my substance abuse#and she had god and faith signs in her office#so probably for the best that i was handed off but like it was frustrating#it wasnt pretty when i got home; i dont like being angry or frustrated#least favorite emotion
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Jealous
A/n: y'all should already know I really like beyonce and I really like fics inspired by music so this is just a product of that 😘 I linked the song in the title
Also language warning? Da be cursing in this one
You watched the clocks hit 4am
Keigo should have been home hours ago
Yet he wasnt
Not even a call or text
Clearly he forgot or he didnt care
And all you could do was sit there alone and feel pathetic
Your tears had already dried up a half hour ago
But that didnt mean you felt anything less then humiliated as you sat there with the now empty bottle of champagne and half naked in the lingerie you bought
It was your two year anniversary
You had it all planned out although you didnt plan for him to be a no show
But you could only blame yourself for that
Having a hero as a boyfriend is difficult
Anyone who was in a relationship with one would agree with that
But you were sure you had it just a bit worse
Because your boyfriend just so happened to be the number 2 hero
You thought it was bad when he was just number 3
But since hawks started holding the second spot it kept getting worse
At first things were fine; Great even.
He was a dotting boyfriend the two of you talked and laughed with each other about everything
Anyone who saw you together wouldn't have any doubts that you were in love
And you knew being in an official relationship would be difficult he was a hero after all
And especially since he didnt even want anyone knowing about the two of you
But you remember all those sweet words keigo would tell you
"I don't know what I'd do without you babe."
"I dont want anyone else sweetheart."
"Kid you're the most important person in my life."
"I love you y/n."
But that was the thing keigo said those things keigo was the one who kept promises he was the one you fell in love with
Not hawks
They were different people
Hawks was the man who put everything above you
The one whos lies and refuses to be straight with you
The one who shuts you out
The one who shamelessly flirted with everyone even on national tv knowing you'd see
But still didnt seem to care
And if he didn't care why should you?
Hawks got home around 6am and saw the place a mess
Curtain on the floor, broken glass. Everything disheveled
He almost thought someone had broken in and had a fight
But he knew bettter when he saw you sitting on the couch mascara stain on your face
"Shit." He mutter to himself
He knew exactly why you were upset and had this tantrum
But it wasnt exactly like he could pause in the middle of a mission to text you
"Im sorry y/n." He said sitting a banquet of roses down beside you
But keigo knew at this point those flowers were useless
"You think thats supposed to make me feel better?" You said bitterly
"Babe-"
"Dont fucking babe me." You yelled at him, "You forgot! I sat up all night looking like an idiot and you forgot because when it comes down to it you don't care about anyone but yourself keigo!"
"I was working."
"Like I believe that," you shook your head, "I bet you were with one of your new sidekicks. I bet you were just showing off for one of your adoring fans forgetting that im here."
You knew he was telling the truth he had no reason to lie about it
But in your mind you wanted to yell, you wanted to be angry you wanted to hurt him like he had been hurting you
Because tonight wasnt the first time he didnt keep a promise as of late or just simply neglected you
This had been boiling for a while and now the pot was over flowing
Hawks grew more frustrated as you yelled you were making stuff up and it wasn't even his fault
"It wasn't like that," he tired to talk only for you to jump in
"Save it hawks." You rolled your eyes walking out the room, "just admit you dont appreciate me cause you're comfortable knowing im just sitting here waiting on you and you don't have to put any real effort when you want to get your dick wet."
Keigo followed you from the other room yelling, "You know that isnt true! And you knew how this relationship was going to be from the beginning!"
"What realtionship?" You yelled, "You're barely home! I never see you anymore, and when I do its either you on tv flirting with some random person! Or when were here together you dont talk anymore! How do you think that makes me feel?"
You were letting your fears and jealousies speak, "is it someone else? Are you fucking somebody else Keigo."
"You are so insane of course not! Im working all the time its commission stuff I cant talk about it." Keigo knew deep down you were right he had been drifting away but that was because of work not because he was falling out of love with you
But maybe it was the stress of being up all night or because he was angry that you were clearly yelling at him for no reason he didint tell you that instead he yelled "You're being so fucking paranoid."
"Dont just brush me off-" but Hawk cut you off this time
"If I wanted to fuck someone else trust me kid I would, and I can cause if you hadn't noticed im pretty popular."
"You're such an asshole!"
"And your crazy!"
"Then why do you even bother Keigo! Just go!" You said throwing a pillow from your bed at him
"You're right I should! Cause its fucking pointless when your-you're acting like such a bitch." He said catching it and throwing it on the floor
His words hurt and you knew you had been pushing him to yell but still not wanting to let go you yelled with hot tears in your eyes, "I hate you!"
You both seemed to freeze once those words were spoken
You wanted to immediately take it back
You wanted to tell him that you didnt hate him that you loved him so much that it hurt
That all you really wanted tonight was to spend it in his arms
But you couldn't swallow your pride
Instead you turned away from him
Keigo knew things had already gone too far when he chased after you yelling
He felt guilty about his words
He didnt mean anything he had said, ...you kno- I- Im sorry y/n." He tried to reach out to you but you pulled away from him
"I cant do this anymore Keigo..."
Panic was clear on his face once you spoke those words
Couldnt do what?
Him? You two have aruged before you can get over it, "Y/n-"
"Ill sleep on the couch tonight." You said leaving the room and keigo
Who could only sit and wonder what would become of your relationship in the morning
Y'all bet ur sweet asses there'll be a part 2
#bnha imagines#bnha x reader#bnha headcanons#mha x reader#bnha hawks#mha hawks#bnha keigo#keigo takami x reader#my hero academia keigo takami#hawks x reader
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highschool!minho as your boyfriend
pairing — fem!reader x minho
genre — fluffish angst-ish ? bullet scenario but mostly not, enemies to lovers
word count — 2k
happy birthday to our precious cat boy! 🐈
happy birthday lino!
you’re one of the best dancers in your school
competitions arent complete without you
i guess the popularity with dancing got over your head a little bit
to you, you were just proud
but others took it the wrong way, as per usual
“alright we’re going to have a new member in our crew, please give him a warm welcome!” your dance instructor clapped
you wiped off your sweat and sat down on the floor to listen further
“come in, lino!” she urged
the young man came in wearing gray sweats and a plain black shirt with a poker face on
you didnt really care nor felt a bond forming between you two
“hi, lee minho, nice to meet you” he smiled half heartedly
you heard the other girls in the room swoon at the sight of him
you were about to nudge your friend who was obviously squealing when the instructor interrupted
“[y/n]! stand over here, please” she pointed beside minho
so you complied
his scent was manly with a hint of softness
he was taller than you and had a lean body structure
your instructor was eyeing the both of you from head to toe and proceeded to call over another instructor
“see, they would be perfect for it!” she whisper shouted at her fellow instructor, still eyeing the both of us
“i do agree with you but dont you think minho is still new? he just came in” the other replied
“minho if you don’t mind? can i show him your audition video?” she asked
minho gave her a nod while he looked around the place with his arms crossed, while you looked like an idiot just standing there like 🧍🏻♀️
“wow! his body is flexible, you made the right choice with these two" the male instructor commended
“right?"
"alright, you two would be assigned to create a new choreography for the up coming dance competition. it should be hip hop styled, music of choice is yours." she instructed
your fellow dancers already went home since it was getting late, so you did too after the discussion
you didnt really talk to minho
you felt like you didnt need to, yet
unless it was about the dance
practices were always held after classes. you and the crew decided to brainstorm possible songs that you guys could dance to. all of the songs they were suggesting was boring and at this point you were frustrated and threw a fit. "god, think!" you sighed at your fellow dancers as you ruffled your hair in anger. "do you have any better ideas?" minho asked, nonchalant. "i evaluate whether or not the songs can be used. do you have any ideas?" you rolled your eyes, copying his tone.
he shook head and let out a light smirk, a rather amused one. he suggested songs and remixes that were actually good, but you can never say that. for the first time, someone actually had the courage to speak back to you during your angry state. it did hurt your ego a bit.
"no, i dont want that, it's ear-bleeding" you lied, just for the sake of your reputation in front of your fellow members. "im not asking for your permission, im showing this to noona," he said getting up from the floor with the computer and walked out to find our older instructor.
whispers and held back laughter was heard in the room while their eyes are focused to either you, or minho's back who just disappeared
being a little brat, you stomped over to minho ( who you found in the hallway, just outside your instructor's office ) "you!" you stormed over until youre close enough. without looking, he let out a sigh, "what?"
"what the hell was that about!" you half-shouted, eyebrows furrowed. "what? did i hurt your ego?" he raised an eyebrow, giving you a smirk. you were taken aback by his choice of words. no body has ever came this close to you. all he did was say the truth, because he really did hurt your ego. you hate being told what to do and you hate getting embarrassed in front of people.
your face turned red, "you know what? fuck you" you turned around and left. leaving him with this annoying smug look on his pretty face.
it became a routine
to argue with him during practice
you guys were partners in the said dance
being close with his body gives you the chance to take revenge
by making yourself heavy every time he has to carry you
but you learned that he's not the one to hold back
by letting go of you, causing you to fall off ass first
after a month straight of practice, it went like that
safe to say you hated each other's guts
he hated your bratty and egotistic attitude, and you hated him for pointing it out in front of every one
there's 3 more days until the performance
and somehow, nervousness was getting ahead of you.
"one last practice for today! let me see what you guys got." your instructor said as you guys were positioning yourselves in place. during the dance, you knew you made so many mistakes but you were still hoping it would go unnoticed. making the ending pose, every one clapped as well as the instructor.
"over all, it's a winning dance for me!" every one cheered for the mentor's compliment while you were feeling unsteady. "[y/n], work on the dance a little more okay? you seem a bit on edge" she gave you a small smile. embarrassment was written all over your face. improve? me? christ! it's much worse when minho, who is right beside you, heard that.
the instructor left and every one proceeded to pack their things. as you were about to close yours, "work on the dance a little more okay?" little shit minho repeated your instructors words, with a smug look on his face that you badly want to wipe off with a punch
"okay" you replied dryly, not wanting to engage with crap because of your rising nervousness. "looks like im about to take your place, brat" he added. you knew he was just messing around since both of you had been fighting like this almost every day. you gave him a nod because you just wanted to escape at this point. you placed your bag over your shoulder and opened the door, "don't you think maybe it's because you're not that good-"
"can we not do this right now? alright? i get it. if you really are so fucking great, congrats! now leave me alone." you spat, walking past him and left the studio. the sun was setting when you got out and it was a rather chill weather. it was fine, we're in the middle of october any way.
you sighed as you hugged yourself for comfort due to the strong wind. walking home, you decided to stop by a vending machine.
great! your money just had to be stuck in the vent. just when you thought your day could get worse, this happens. you placed your head on the glass of the machine in front of you while mindlessly playing with the buttons.
you regret losing your cool in front of minho like that, because you know he was just messing around. at some point during practice, you were slowly learning that being a brat is horrible and not everything will go my way.
you noticed that you were starting to change too.
you let out another sigh and kicked a foreign rock to express your frustration. you eyes went back to the stuck money and tried to get it out again. a random finger from behind pressed a red button on top of the machine, which immediately retrieved your money.
you turned back around to thank the person, "thank you-" your smile faded when you realized who it was. he had a small cat eye smile on, "hi" he said in a low tone, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"hi" you said rather awkwardly. "what drink do you want?" he said as he brought out his wallet, positioning himself in front of the machine. "no you don't have to" you protested. "please, let me do this, it's the least i can do for pissing you off"
"banana milk, and im sorry too" you replied, playing with your fingers. he gave you this 'why are you saying sorry' look. "im sorry for all the mean stuff i said back there, i dont know what has gotten into me, im just so nervous about the performance"
he nodded, implying that he's listening while typing and inserting the money on the machine. "im just sorry for being a brat in general," you smiled apologetically as you accepted the banana milk from him. both of you sat down beside the vending machine.
"you dont have to apologize you know? im the one who took it too far" he said, guilt plastered all over his face. "it's fine, i deserve it. besides if it wasnt for you, i wouldnt have notice how much of a bitch i am." you admitted with a light chuckle.
"i didnt mean what i said earlier by the way," he spoke, finishing up his own banana milk. "which one?" you asked. "when i said you were not that good, i didnt mean it. in fact, youre one of the best." he admitted, placing his empty banana milk beside him.
"you think so?" you asked with a smile. "i know so" he smiled back, removing his hairband and placing it back again. "maybe that's why im falling for you." he mumbled.
competition day came
you were feeling energetic today
bratiness level lowered down by 70%
the performance went really great
every one at your school was rooting for your team
which made you even more giddy
"and the grand champion for this year is..."
you heard your school's name and immediately hugged minho unintentionally out of joy
your legs were wrapped up in his waist and he was swinging you around, happy to win as well.
he let go of you gently, trying not to make things awkward
youve already touched his body due to the dance steps but it felt awkward after he confessed
after the celebration, your crew was in the back stage, preparing for the surprise
today is october 25, meaning it's his special day
you got out the cake you personally baked for him and motioned everyone to gather around before minho comes in
"surprise!" every one cheered and threw random pieces of paper towards him when he came in the back stage
"happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you! happy birthday dear minho, happy birthday to you" you sang along with the crew and faced him his cake
"make a wish, lino" you said as you waited for him to blow.
"i wish to be with you" he said out loud, not even minding the people around us and blew the candle out. a lot of ooos and cheers were heard, making you blush. you gathered frosting all over your finger and proceeded to wipe it on his face
he let out a fake shocked face as he did the same to you. by now, every one around you has frosting in your faces. musting up all the courage left in you. you made your way to minho once more and placed a frosting on his lips. he smirked at your sudden action as he lifted you up.
you pressed your lips against his, licking the frosting clean off of him. he gladly accepted the kiss, ignoring everyone around the both of you. pulling away, "maybe i am falling for you too, lino" you confessed. making him kiss you once more.
bf minho is very tsundere
as usual, dance practices together
vending machine dates after practice
lots and lots of i love yous while dancing
SLOW DANCING IN YOUR ROOM!!!!!!
would let you meet his cats bcs "you are now worthy"
helping each other out with missed assignments
your best friend
kisses are wild but soft
dance covers together
will literally break the vending machine to give you your banana milk
would buy you breakfast
holds your hand during break
cuddling with his cats!!!!!!
forehead kisses with reassurance
people dont get your inside jokes
a tease !!!!!
"baby, there is no one else like you"
author's note —
i tried to make this gender neutral but i dont know much about mxm dancing together! sorry about that, i tried to lessen the female details though.
im open for constructive criticism! i made this a birthday special for our lee know <3
#lee minho#minho skz#lee know#lee know imagines#lee know smut#lee know fluff#lee know angst#stray kids imagines#stray kids angst#stray kids au#stray kids smut#stray kids#minho fluff#minho angst#minho imagines#highschool au#lee know oneshots#minho oneshots#skz oneshots#stray kids oneshot
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I agree with Kishimoto never trying to use the girls. The hate they get is not fair. I used to defend Sakura back in the days because I hoped kishi would do her justice. When shippuden started I WAS SO HAPPY because I thought this was the start of something great for Sakura and the girls but NOOOOO. Every time, Sasuke showed kishi turned her brainless. If you compare Naruto's actions and Sakura's actions to sasuke, you'd see they're completely different. What's up with that weird fake love confession scene 😭? It makes her look like she was manipulating Naru. JEEZ.
Also he literally had badass Tenten and Temari with cool useful abilities and he didn't use them ?! TF ?! Thank god for modern authors who treat their characters with respect :)
okay2 you know how i am with these longass rants so click readmore and brace yourselves
The way I see it, Sakura's character development in shippuden was always one step forward, two steps back. She gets this really badass scene (like her fight with Sasori and those cool ass medical skills) but is then regressed back into a pining girl in love every time Sauce is on screen or Kishi just throws her in the background YET AGAIN.
I love Sakura's abilities actually. Her brute strength, intelligence, vast knowledge and skill as a medic nin. But what I dislike about her character is how kishi handled her feelings for Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura's obsession with Sasuke was so???? huh??? it was so damn toxic and i never once understood why both Nardo and Sak were so obsessed with him. They were a team for one year???? I mean its great that they care about him alot but Sauce's feelings were kinda valid. His freakin clan died. Id go batshit crazy against my own village too. BUT BESIDES THAT. Both Nart and Sakura's Sasuke obsession was so annoying. 80% of shippuden was literally Keeping up with the Uchihas or Naruto yelling SASUKEH. BUT what irks me so much is the fandom's double standards with both Naruto and Sakura. "Oh Sakura shouldve gotten over her Sasuke obsession" but then turn around and call Naruto's obsession cute and gush about how he's so in love with him!!
Hot take but the only reason why sasunaru is "the most developed ship with the most chemistry" is because theyre both male characters.
I guarantee you if Naruto was a girl and SHE would be the one to have this unhealthy obsession who was chasing around Sasuke, the fandom would shit on Naruto just as much. And if Sasuke were a girl, Sauce would be sidelined like the rest of the female cast and Naruto would have another male character to have a "brotherly bond" with, because thats the only bond Kishimoto is actually good at developing. Yey for male characters having all the screentime and cool assets <333
And about that confession scene, I get her intentions. I really do. I understand that she did that in order to bring him home and that she cares about him but honey, w-why?? Why lie to him about your feelings?? Supposed he DID believe her, then what? then what kishi???? huh??? Some of her fans point the blame on Sai or whatever but I personally dont see why that scene was at all necessary. Maybe to establish Naruto's feelings for her wasnt all that serious? or his maturity? idk man. That scene was such a clusterfuck.
In the end her development in The Last and in Boruto was immaculate. She had one of the best glow ups in the old gen and ironically enough, her character wasn't butchered in Boruto. She got badass scenes she was cheated from in shippuden. I also love how she's finally getting the spotlight she deserves. Unlike the other konoha 12 :,)))
Okay onto the next female character that Kishi completely wasted. My baby. My light. 🙈 AAAHHH HINATAA.
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN OKAY2 DEEP BREATHS.
Let me just establish this real quick. Hinata's goal was to get stronger because of Naruto, her goal was never to be with Naruto. She wanted to become someone who is worthy enough to stand beside him, someone whom he can consider as an equal, as a partner. She NEVER once said "marrying Naruto-kun is my all time goal UwU" (if youre one of those weirdos who interpret her character that way, youre immediately invalid, go take a hike)
I personally dont have anything against their crushes but to the point of making their personalities revolve around these guys every time theyre onscreen is so fucking frustrating. And with the way he writes their dialogues is so.damn.cringey. Like that one scene in the war arc with Tsunade and Madara
"I mAy bE a WomAn but I aM nOt WeAAKKKK"
BAAHAHAAHHA WHAT?? Everyone else gets coolass monologues and one liners but thats the best you can come up with Kishi?????? Hilarious.
If im being honest. Hinata's character is actually kinda well written. Not well executed. Dear God no. But with the way he set her story, her personality, her chracterization. She's honestly one of the best written female characters on the show. IMO. By Kishi's standards of writing women ofc. She's hands down one of the most complex characters. Her shy personality wasnt out of the blue, it wasnt a cutesy waifu trait. Her abusive upbringing made her that way. Her trauma turned her that way. So yeah, sue her if she looked up to Naruto as an inspiration when everyone else in her family treated her like dust. Shit on her for having Naruto's love light in her dark when her own damn father wouldnt even look her in the eye and her entire clan shunned her because she was "weak." She doesnt owe her family shit so idgaf what they do with the Hyuga clan. Neji and Hanabi aren't included btw
Im not gonna deny that her role in the show was only as the love interest but tbh for a love interest, Im glad her character wasnt so one dimensional. It just pains me SO MUCHHH how fucking wasted she is. Every time she's with Naruto, they always make her into a damsel in distress. They always feel the need to turn Naruto into the heroic prince. How cute.
LIKE THAT ONE SCENE IN THE LAST WHERE SHE'S THROWN IN THE CAGE?? WHY??? LET NARUTO AND HINA FIGHT THAT FREAKING ALIEN GOD TOGETHER. QUIT WITH THE TOXIC MASCULINITY. WE GET IT. NARUTO'S STRONG. GOOD FOR HIM. NOW LETS SEE HINATA THROW HANDS AND PUT NARUTO IN THE CAGE GODAMMIT
Hnggggg dont get me started with her role in Boruto. She's as relevant as a damn houseplant in the manga. They made her into an invisible trophy wife and "the mc's mother" and we all KNOW what happens to the shounen mc's mother once mc is in need of character development :) Quit putting her in the background. Give us that scene where she won against Hanabi DESPITE being retired for years. Give us that scene where she trains Boruto. GIVE US ANY FIGHT SCENE OF HER WHERE HER POTENTIAL ISNT WASTED WTF?¿
Now if you say that Hinata didnt have development. YOURE INVALID. She came from an abusive household, the shyest girl in her class, her insecurities got in the way of her own confidence, had difficulty of standing up for herself now became a loving mother of two, has the guts to kick her husband out of the house(with whom she couldnt even keep eye contact with when she was a kid) became the strongest hyuga, most supportive wife and mother, and has given her kids the comforting childhood she never had as a kid.
She has one of the most beautiful stories in the show and if you think her personality is only Naruto-kun and big boobs, then im sorry that you cant appreciate such a heartwarming story.
And I agree, killing her would honestly make me feel more at ease than continue to see her suffer because of godawful misogynistic writers. But at least let her die in an epic fight. Please. PLEASEE. She got nerfed so bad, i feel a physical pain every time i think about it
Okay what else. I think Ino got pretty good development. Another wasted potential in shippuden but she's doing good for herself in Boruto. I dont know what Temari is up to. They basically made her into another classic angry mom who beats up her husband for comedy trope. Haha very funny and original! Im not sure with her career, im not that invested in the anime.
Tenten??
oh G O D Tenten. The dirtiest of all. Her jokes about her screentime is so mean and i hate that its true ahsjhs. She was the only female character in OG who's goal wanted to be as strong as Tsunade but what did Kishi do to her?? Sidelined. Forgotten. Irrelevant. Like every damn female on the show :D
Konan shouldnt have died. I blame plot armor. I know in my heart that Konan wouldve kicked Obito's ass if it weren't for Kishi's boomer mindset.
Tsunade had so much hype when she was introduced but died down in the war arc. Madara wiped the floor with the kages. Holy shit. Not only that, but yipee! Naruto is there to save the day AGAIN!!!!
AND UGHHHH If the female characters were given proper treatment then maybe MAYBE all the endgame couples wouldve made fucking sense????¿¿¿
I think that ends my rant. Im not sure how the female characters in Boruto are handled. Except maybe Sarada (she's pretty well executed in the manga imo). But arguably they are sooo much better handled in Boruto than how the old gen girls were. And thats because Kishi isnt anywhere near the new gen female cast. I cant formulate a solid opinion with the other new gen female cast since im not entirely invested in the anime. Not ashamed to admit that I only watch it for the sunshine moments and for Hinata :DD
#and *scene#salty char.txt#char complains about Naruto AGAIN#yey#please end my suffering#i need to leave this fandom what am i still doing here#naruto#day 202 of WTF KISHI#i think i got that out of my system
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Ive had this story ive been wanting to share ever since i started following this blog (months) which is the main reason why i started shipping bkdk and why, whenever i hear people saying their relationship hasnt changed at all, or that Bakugo hasnt grown enough, or that Midoriya is just being delusinal on "admiring" kacchan(have you ever heard that one?), i get very frustrated, soooo
May you listen to my story? :T
Basically i also had a childhood friend i shared the same class with for 10 years. From 5 to 15. So a big chunk of my child/teenage years
We were besties for 8/9 of those years?
She was... What my sister calls "a fictional character in real life". She was just... A huge princess, bratty, confident, and always made sure she got her way. She also grew up to become, in my opinion, the prettiest girl my age I'd ever met.
I dont know how we became friends, but my youngest memories of us together are of me chasing after her while she, (and the rest of her admirers) did whatever they wanted.
She wasnt the best person to me.. I dont think even half of the stuff she did she realised she was hurting me for real, but she did. I was her bestie, so i couldnt play with anyone else, but while i was with her I was called useless, nerd, weirdo, annoying. Once, when we were little, she isolated me from a sleepover at her house cause i didnt want them to cut my stuffies fur. That might not seem like much now, but inside the world of a 7 year old.. It was big. Once we got older, it got much worse as i was the only girl in my class who was still flat as board, didnt have an insta, and worse off all, they found out i liked anime and games :00.. It was as if i had been outed for liking that stuff and they constantly shamed me for it.. It was absolute hell for at least 2 years until we got to a bigger school where more people liked those things and people with more strength than me and didnt take shit made her shut up.
This might already remind you of a certain angry boi from a certain bnha(or not, thats fair), but the part that connects it all is that.. I really really admired and liked her despite all that crap, for all those years.
Honestly, shes the reason i still question my sexuality. I think i had a crush on her back then.
She was just.. So awesome when she wasnt bullying me! She was confident, and made friends easily, and had a way to manipulate others that was so obvious snd yet somehow no one seemed to get it, and she just had this charm, and always looked so pretty... If she decided she was gonna do something, then she'd do it. And she was strong too.. Some stuff would happen in her home life and shed shrug it off. Then there were also these moments where she opened up a little and let me see inside. One of my sweetest memories of her was once where she appeared as a surprise to my birthday to sleepover. She begged her mom to do it cause she wanted to see me during my birthday,as i later learned. We spent the night undercovers playing and talking. My mom had a photo of us all tangled up together sleeping the next morning. I was the only one she did that for. I loved knowing that. I was proud of it.
And so, no matter what else she did, i never left her side.. I didnt have anymore friends, and despite our relationship being toxic, i couldn't leave her..
But eventually, we just, broke? Im not sure how it happened. I met other people, better people, who were good friends, and i still talk to. She also met other people, who liked taking pictures and going shopping, and gossiping. And then, for the first time ever, we were separated into different classes. We never really talked again after that.. And that just makes me.. So empty inside. I wish i could talk to her now, and tell her so much crap. How she hurt me, and how i loved her despite it, and how she was my definition of confidence and victory. Still is.
When i met bnha, Bkg and Mdr, i remembered her, and our friendship, and now when i see them together in the manga now,i just think what couldve been for us if we stuck together. Especially cause i still see her sometimes, with other friends and boyfriend now, and she really seems older.. More grown up. Not the brat i knew. Im not sure cause we dont talk, but yeah.
So i completely understand Midoriya. How he admired Bkg despite the bullying, and believes in him, and felt overjoyed when Bkg spoke to him, or simply doesnt care anymore when Bkg is meaner. He knows its just him being bratty, not exactly mean
And when people say they haven't evoluted(?) enough, i just... Get frustrated!
Theyve changed so much! The way they interqct now is different, and will probably keep changing, and whqt i think they really need to fix theur relationship is the apology.. I long for that horribly.. For maybe obvious reasons :|
I wish id had the opportunity to work through my relationship with her too.. If our relationship could be like theirs is now.. Id be overjoyed
Sooooo, just a little story for any anti-bkdk or just people that cant understamd how Deku still tolerates Bkg.
To anyone who cared enough to read this, hope you have a super duper day! ^^
(this was too big omg, im sorry Q^Q)
-The Shy Pancake 🥞
Never too big, my friend. Thank you for sharing your experience with my, I love to learn about my followers and this was very sweet to read. It's always wonderful to be able to connect to fiction based around our real life experiences, as long as we're able to separate ourselves from it, of course.
I think it's great how you're able to better understand Deku because of what you've experienced in your own life, and I love that it allows you to appreciate the relationship between him and Bakugo.
I hope maybe one day you could talk to that friend again. 💕
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my dad group texted my brother and i, highly unusual, and i think jordan was weirded out too cause his response was equally short and confused. on the list of things my little brother and i have never discussed, our dad’s relative interest or lack there of in our lives is pretty high. dad’s been messaging me since october, asking about stuff like where my next living plans are (which he has never done since i first moved out age eighteen), and i’ve only been vaguely responding to the point blank questions cause its just. so. weird. i think my grandpa’s death has shaken dad’s worldview a bit more than he’s been letting on.
he alienated my brother and i pretty much immediately after his secretive marriage to the bottle blonde rich bitch when i was 22. he kicked my brother out as soon as jordan turned 18, and when i discovered this by coming home one summer and seeing jordan wasnt in the house, i got so fucking mad that it was the first time i ever had a full out screaming match at my dad. and apparently this display of anger was when rich bitch decided she didn’t like me (probably valid, but also ironic because pretty much from birth it was known in my entire extended family that dad and i were almost identical personality wise, and both of us have tempers where we will not get mad at anything but frustration will build up and up until on the rare blue moon it boils over, and oh boy. watch out. those moments were the only times i was ever scared of my dad as a kid and i think it only happened twice in my entire life)(if she thinks im crazy when im angry, she should see my dad)
but i was crazy mad because while i was lucky enough to be put in therapy due to attempting to starve myself into non existence at age 13 (many many sessions of ‘family’ therapy with me in the center of a long couch silently trying to pretend i was invisible and my mom two feet away at one end and dad on the opposite end of the couch, and my mom doing all the talking, ranting and raving about how im starving myself to punish her. and then the therapist kicking both my parents out and trying to convince me to say a few words, and her finally getting me to realize that how my mom treated me was not normal and not something i needed to put up with if it made me sad and scared, and then the therapist realizing that i was still too sad and scared to confront it, and her and i coming up with a compromise where we would tell my mom that i was just ‘really attached’ to dad’s house and it wasnt that i was terrified of living with my mom or liked my dad better, it was that i just really liked living in one place instead of out of a suitcase and moving every week), and so had both the therapist and my dad supporting me when at fourteen i finally said enough was enough and demanded that my dad get full custody so i didnt have to spend every other week with my abusive mother anymore - while i got out of that situation, my brother didnt. i tried, he knew that it was my decision to live full time with dad and i made it clear he could do the same, but just as it was a given that i was identical to dad’s personality, my brother was identical to mom’s so i think he was more attached to her than i was. either way, he always refused and insisted on continuing to live between both of them. after i hit driving age, my dad transferred responsibility to me for shuttling my brother to and from my dad’s house to my mom’s apartment. dad’d lock himself in his room, or go to the gym, and i’d turn on an endless rotation of star wars movies for jordan and i to watch before i had to take him to his next week’s place (phantom menace was our favorite cause darth maul was just cool ok, dont judge).
anyway, the last day i ever stayed at my moms house, my brother was there. and i must have been twenty or twenty one because he would have only been around seventeen. but even at seventeen he was well over six foot five cause he got all the height in the family which was totally not fair but thats besides the point. so while i was there my mom flew into one of her alcohol induced rages, and took it all out on my brother. i had intellectually figured that all the anger my mom used to take out on me had then transferred to my brother once i stopped living there every other week, but up until that point i hadn’t actually seen it. she started shoving him, and punching him, and not enough so it would hurt much, because as i said he was well over six feet and she was barely five six, so he could pretty well block any thing she dished out. but he was cornered, and he looked scared. and i was hiding useless on the stairwell, crying, and begging mom to stop. and it only stopped cause jordan managed to slip out the front door and once he escaped mom went back into the kitchen, still yelling and angry. and i took the chance to grab my school bag and leave in solidarity. and my brother and i stood there awkwardly on the porch, me still crying, and him smoking and trying to look cool and not like he just got chased out of the apartment by a woman half his size. and i promised him we wouldnt go back until she calmed down, and that she was being unreasonable and he didnt deserve any of it, and id figure out somewhere to go. and we started walking down the sidewalk, but not together because we were never that close. he wandered off somewhere to smoke. and that’s as far as i remember.
this day came up in conversation with my grandma in the months after grandpa’s death, during one of our many three am can’t sleep conversations in grandma’s kitchen (grandma would wake up, i’d hear her get out of bed and wake up too. she’d make herself tea and eat some graham crackers and we’d sit together at the table feeling the third empty chair like an ache). grandma brought it up, because apparently, even though i cant remember this at all, i had my no/kia brick phone in my school bag (a minor miracle because i hated carrying around cell phones for the longest time), and i actually called grandma. and grandpa and her came to pick me up, and they found me sitting on a wall a block away from my mom’s apartment, and then we drove around till we found jordan, and then we all went back to my grandparent’s house. after bringing this up, grandma then, completely unprompted, told me something that child me thought about regularly - she said that even though her mom died when she was 8, leaving her to help raise her two younger siblings, grandma thought in some ways it was easier than what my brother and i went through with the divorce and my mom leaving. i used to regularly - not wish my mom dead, exactly - but wish i could pretend she was dead, rather than her just not being there anymore. especially since, when i was suddenly thrown into being her sole emotional and physical punching bag now that dad wasn’t filling the role anymore, a lot of the times being around her post divorce was not a good thing. (I cut off all contact with my mom finally at age 25 and haven’t looked back)
so yeah, i was fucking pissed that i had worked so hard to try to mitigate the damage i caused by leaving jordan alone with my mom for pretty much the entirety of my high school years...only to have my dad kick him out barely a few years after i left for college and thus putting my brother at my mom’s mercy. ostensibly my dad kicked my brother out because of his drug addictions, but my brother was the most mild mannered addict i’ve ever known. the worst thing he ever did was steal a couple hundred dollars from me, but he never got violent, he never got angry. other people got angry at him. my aunt once tried to fight him in a hospital elevator because he sold my cousin heroin or meth or some shit and my cousin ended up impaling a knife in his chest in front of my grandma, which is a whole nother story. but jordan was only nineteen when that happened. my cousin? thirty six. and a long time violent and angry drug addict with a record (he threw a book at his professor’s head and got kicked out of grad school while on cocaine once, which is how he ended up back in washington state and needing a new drug dealer - hence my brother suddenly getting involved) (same cousin later flew into a drug fueled rage in his forties and almost beat his girlfriend to death) (my brother was long since clean by then and had nothing to do with our cousin getting drugs at that point)
all this to say my dad’s rich bitch new wife didn’t think a drug addict and mentally ill artist fit into her picture perfect family, so dad started making it clear we were not welcome at family functions unless we complied with very strict rules. ironically, jordan was let back into the fold first partially because i can hold a grudge for a very long time and i was very very terrified of my mom and dad was the sane stable one and i had trusted him to take care of everything even without me there and dad had failed pretty spectacularly at that. im still bitter at my dad for his secret marriage and subsequent moving into her million dollar mansion and throwing my brother out. but also partially because jordan started following all of dad’s rules, got himself cleaned up (he moved in with his girlfriend, and i think being out of mom’s house had a lot to do with getting over his addictions), started studying computer science, found a really good software engineering job, suddenly dad approved of him. i also partially antagonized rich bitch wife by doing silly things like wearing black leather pants and the most provocative clothes i owned whenever i went over to their house. rich bitch was a very simple narrow minded person with a lot of prejudices. i imagine i was not seen as a good influence on her two younger daughters. and eventually they stopped seeing me altogether. even when i was living in washington for all of 2017 - the only time i ever saw dad was when he’d come visit my grandparents alone. the day before i took grandma on the train to move to ohio, we were supposed to all have dinner together at our family’s favorite place to eat out - crossroads mall - and the rich bitch refused to show up. that’s how petty she is. she also is so dumb she’s under the delusion that kids get into drugs if they don’t have dogs (????) so that’s why she forced my dad to get a dog for her spoiled brat youngest when the girl went into high school. my dad dislikes animals, so i will say one of the highlights of this marriage is seeing my dad become a dog person. the rich bitch and her daughters mostly ignore the dog, but my dad is so attached to max that he even lets the little puppy sit in his lap while driving. anyway, anyone who thinks dogs are the sole answer to preventing drug addictions can go to hell.
yeah, blah blah blah, to sum up its WEIRD for my dad to suddenly be texting my brother and i unprompted, and asking me about my life and my plans. i dont really know how to deal. i miss him. he was always the closest person in my life to the point where even when i moved away for college, i still assumed after i graduated i’d just move back in with dad so it was only four years being gone, cause why would i ever want to live anywhere else?. i kept thinking if i could hit some level of success that he would approve of, that maybe eventually i could become somebody his rich bitch wife would associate with. but that never happened, obviously.
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Love Break Down
I have always been an emotional person, specifically a crier. I cry when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm frustrated, and when I'm angry. I'm also really sentimental and can not look at a photo album without tearing up and my throat choking up. It just happens and theres no way of me controlling it, its just who I am. Growing up I would hang out with friends and go out to parties and have inocent fun. It wasnt until the age of 21 when I really started to drink with the purpose of getting drunk. Of course I went at it with the thoughts of just letting loose and enjoying my time, but thats how I discovered that I am absolutely an emotional drunk. I guess my feelings just get magnified and if I cant control my crying while sober then I absolutely cannot control them while drunk. I remember I once went to a Halloween party and I just lost it. Seeing everyone in their couples costumes and having fun got to me. I started sobbing and wishing I had someone. My friend Stephanie was there with me and she was trying to calm me down but it wasnt really working. We decided to leave and I sat in the car with her and just cried my eyes out. I'm not sure why I get this way but again.. I cant help it. I would say things like "I'm never going to find love" "I'm going to die alone" "No one wants me because I'm Ugly". Looking back at the story I feel pretty bad for stephanie because she just wanted to have a good time and instead she had to take care of sobbing drunk me. She kept reasurring me that all the things I said were not true and that I would find someone and everything would be ok. After a while I finally calmed down and was able to be myself again. I just appologized and went home. I was really sad and I was also upset at myself for getting that way, but I just pretended like nothing happened. Most of my drunk crying has been because of lonelyness and the fear of being alone forever. When I was with charlie I never drunk cried around him. I think that was mainly because I had convinced myself enough to think that I was happy so there was no need for me to cry. Happy drunk me is just loud silly me and I like that part. I dont always cry but 85% of the time I always do. My closest friends know how I am and I'm thankful for them and honestly I dont know how they put up with me sometimes. I dont know how I would get through things without friends to vent to. These love break downs have been some of my lowest points. I feel too hard and when I'm weak it all just spills out. I think now that I'm getting older I'm slowly starting to get better and dealing with my emotions rather than holding them in all the time just for them to explode when I'm intoxicated. It takes a lot of time and practice, but hopefully one day I'll finally tame these love breakdowns of mine
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idk if my relationship with the ex roommate was abusive or not but im just gonna put down a bunch of stuff here. this is probably gonna be long so putting it under a readmore
ok so im beginning to realize that this all probably sounds pretty bad for him but KEEP IN MIND that his anger is a response to abuse and breakdowns are sometimes used to manipulate people. also every story has two sides and i dont know what he would say about all this. also for the first couple years or so he was really nice most of the time. super supportive. feel free to skim through this if you wanna know whats gonna on but dont want to read the entire lengthy tale.
so it started nearly five years ago. i met him my first year of college, we were in the same hall. i thought he was really cool. we didnt talk much that first year but we were friends i guess.
second year a lot of shit happened during the first term. the important thing is that it cemented our friendship. after that term we were rock solid. we spent all of our time together.
during the next term he briefly dated a girl we were friends with. idk if it was even dating really. the whole thing was a trainwreck. at one point i felt like i was losing him and i had a breakdown. it was then that he said he never wanted to make anyone more important than me. things went bad between them and then i noticed something was wrong. i wont go into everything that happened, but suffice to say he kept getting angry for reasons i still dont understand, she was frustrated and very stressed, and i was terrified and miserable.
after this, we were still pretty close. it was around this time that he told me we were in a queerplatonic relationship. now i was genuinely considering spending the rest of my life with this guy.
sometime around the same time the first red flag went up. he told me that he had gone through my phone, found my tumblr among other things, and read several months worth of my personal thoughts. i was kind of in shock when i heard this, so i didnt say much about it. this was also when he told me he had been sexually abused.
not too long after this is when a relationship began to grow between him and another friend of ours. i started to feel a distance growing between us, and this is when he really started to show his angry side. sometimes he would get angry and i would break down crying. this became a regular occurance.
there were some instances of him insistently trying to get me to come out to people. this was mostly in reference to a trans group that was beginning to form at this time. i did eventually give in, although at least once i had a breakdown and left crying because he got upset about it. also i sometimes i didnt feel good about leaving because once he made a comment about how i always run away when im upset so i basically begged for permission to leave.
there was also something that happened a couple times where he and his partner decided that i wasnt allowed to be alone and i physically attacked them and screamed at them before they would let me be alone in the bathroom for a few minutes. the second time this happened i was so angry i smashed a bunch of my belongings and then afterwards i apologized frantically and said some bs about being upset for religion related reasons.
after this, we had a conversation where i said i needed to be alone sometimes, and if they literally said i was not allowed to be alone i wouldnt ask, i would kick and scream until they agreed to let me be alone. he got upset because i made an analogy about a cliff and kept getting mad about that. i insisted that if they refused to let me be alone i would make them hate me.
there was a argument i had with him that ended with him essentially saying our friendship was over. i did not realize he was being sarcastic here. i went to the bathroom to cry. i asked his partner to come and told them that i was feeling very suicidal. they calmed me down a little and went to go arrange for all three of us to have a talk. i took several melatonin and tried to take a nap in the meantime, although that didnt work. later we met at the library. we had an argument about them being controlling and some other things. i remember he started to throw a chair. i broke down and went to the bathroom where i cried a lot. i texted him and apologized for wrecking our friendship. he said that he was the broken one and i said i thought we both were.
it was around this time i started medication. i told the doctor i was having problems with mood swings and so they put me on abilify.
at the end of this school year i moved in with them. towards the beginning there were some arguments about them being controlling and needing to know where i was all the time. we made a compromise where i would have some kind of board or something that i would uodate to say if i was feeling good, not so good, or bad. that never ended up being implemented tho. at some point the roommate who didnt totally suck told me they didnt want me to tell them when i felt like self harming and if i did they would call the police.
the angry outbursts and my terrified breakdowns continued. it escalated to the point where sometimes he was straight up screaming his head off at me for no discernible reason. sometimes i would break down if he so much as snapped at someone.
there was an incodent where i started crying when he was angry, and he told me essentially he didnt see why i would break down so easily and he was jealous of me for having such a good childhood. i told him that i was still suicidal and he started yelling at the other roommate to call the police. i kept asking why he was doing this and what he was trying to accomplish and he didnt respond. the police came, we talked a little, i said i would take a walk and calm down, and they left. i went to my room and had a panic attack. my roommates wanted to call the police again and i begged them not to. at some point one of them said something about me having a sheltered childhood.
a few weeks later we were grocery shopping and he got mad at me for not helping put the groceries in the car. at this point i decided to stop being friends with them because i couldnt handle it. later when we were at home someone asked me if anything was wrong or something like that and i said i decided earlier that i couldnt be friends with them. they told me to calm down and we talked about it. they asked me if there was anything else i wanted to tell them and i said there was something they had said that had made me uncomfortable some time ago. the rest of this was all dragged out of me, slowly and painstakingly. i told them that i didnt like when they said a sheltered childhood. they confirmed that sheltered basically said i hadnt had any problems. they asked me what problems id had and i said i felt that my relationship with my sister and with religion was somewhat abusive. they then dissected all the problems id had in my life to see if any of them were really that bad.
there were also a couple of other incidents, like that time he screamed his head off at me, smashed a bowl, and then apologized to his partner while i cleaned up the bowl. and the time he screamed at me for rescheduling an appointment. a lot of other shit happened but im not gonna talk about all of it.
a few weeks before i moved out, i told his partner that basically i couldnt handle his temper and screw him.
i am now going to mention again that breakdowns cam be manipulative, and his anger im fairly certain was a response to abuse, and for the first couple years at least he was very nice and supportive most of the time.
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9.15
Who: Wilder Anderson and @munroexrhodes
Where: Wilder’s room
Wilder was nervous but not for reasons that anyone else would be. It was just Munroe and it was just orders but these orders were going to be different. Wilder had a dinner set up and ready, he was more then ready to talk things out with the other boy. He knew he was feeling off and was sure he had caused it, so he wanted to right it and then tell him something he knew the other wasn't going to be use to. Hearing a knock, Wilder opened the door for him and smiled softly. "Come in, dinner is about done. I thought we could eat."
Munroe had been pretty pissed at Wilder for the text about him 'putting on a show' for people or whatever that basically translated into calling him fake. It was a deep-seated, unconscious fear that he /was/ fake that made Munroe take such hard offence to the innocuous comment. But orders were orders and he wasn't keen on getting punished again anytime soon. Wilder had a weird look on his face when he answered the door and Munroe hesitated just a half second before entering and giving a little nod, "Alright, I could eat... what did you make?" keeping the conversation to mundane things helped keep it away from less mundane things like feelings, it was very nearly the last thing that Munroe wanted to talk about, right up there with age play.
Wilder took his hand and walked them to the table. There was only one chair there, still holding his hand as he sat with Munroe on his lap. "I made pizza, breadsticks and homemade root beer." Rubbing the boy's back a bit, he turned Munroe to face him more. "before we eat, you need to tell me whats going on. you're being weird to me and i don't really like it. You need to talk to me if I've done something."
Munroe rolled his eyes slightly when he saw there was only one chair but decided if Wilder wanted to deal with his leg going numb from Munroe's weight so be it. He blinked when told the menu, "How the fuck do you /make/ rootbeer??" Who did that? Wilder apparently and when the dom threw down his ultimatum: confess or starve, Munroe sighed lightly and looked away, not wanting to meet his gaze. Another sigh and he looked back into Wilder's blue eyes, "You called me fake, that's whats wrong. I'm not fucking fake, Wild."
Wilder was taken back at what Munroe said to him. He thought for a moment before he spoke. Looking into the blue eyes of his boy, he held his cheek. "baby, I wasn't. I can see why you would think that but I wasn't. I was saying, who you are, when you're here with me. Thats you, that kind, dorky, funny dick that you are. Out there, you put on a mask, you hide. You're not fake, everything about you is real." Kissing him softly. "I'm sorry I upset you, I never meant to. Do you forgive me?"
Munroe couldn't keep eye contact long, not with the silence he was met with and he dropped his gaze turning his head away as his brow furrowed. It didn't last long as Wilder's hand was bringing him back so he could look at him. His words made Munroe frown and he didn't really return the kiss but didn't refuse it either. Shifting in Wilder's lap, he huffed a little breath hating that he had misunderstood and blown everything out of proportion, "I'm not a dork." This was followed by a small but cheeky little smile as he quirked an eyebrow, "Take that back and maybe I'll forgive you." He would, he had nothing to be mad about with the explanation, bit he wouldn't abide being called a 'dork' if he could help it.
Wilder chuckled. "Sorry, I can't. You are a dork but you're my dork." Putting his forehead to Munroe's "you're my dorky baby roe, its one of the things that I like the most about you." His fingers lacing once more with the other boy's. "And I know you already forgave me, but I'll say it again. I'm sorry I upset you. You mean a lot to me."
Munroe tsk'd loudly but accepted his fate that Wilder thought he was a dork. He wasn't, his ego wouldn't let him believe it but he would 'allow' the dom to continue to think so. His eyes closed when Wilder leaned into him and he squeezed his hands gently at the second apology. "I fucked that up so of course I forgive you..." he swallowed thickly before liking his lips, "You mean a lot to me too, Wild."
Wilder smiled, still with his forehead to Munroe's. "Roe, I need to tell you something and I know how you might react, but i want you to really listen okay?" Still his hand holding the other boy's. "I know you're scared, you're scared of a lot of things even if you never admit to it. I know you're scared to let me fully in because you think I might leave you, I know feelings are something you struggle with more then anything. I've known since the first time we met because I was the same fucking way, but things changed for me when I found someone that saw me for me." Smiling a bit, he pulled back just enough to look in his eyes. "I see you, Roe. I see who you are and I want you to know that here and now I promise I will never leave you because, I love you."
Munroe: The teasing mood was gone as well as the contemplative mood when he 'confessed' that Wilder meant a lot to him. In it's place, enflamed by Wilder's words, was fear. The things Wilder was saying... nothing good could come of it. Absolutely nothing. He didn't even notice that his breathing had shallowed out a bit and he was holding Wilder's hands tightly. There was nothing but apprehension in his expression when Wilder looked at him and his head started shaking, ever so slightly, at the 'I see you' line. When it finally came, the 'I love you', Munroe wasn't prepared for how strongly he would react to it. No one had said it to him before, not like this, not actually... meaning it and he couldn't handle it. All his fears of not being good enough, of being a complete fuck up, of being a fraud, someone not worthy of anything in the same universe as another's love exploded up into his body and he jerked back as he tried to shake his hands free from Wilder's grip, "Shut up! What the fuck, Wilder? Let me go, I gotta go... I don't want dinner, let me go..." the words were non-stop, anything and everything he could think of in his panicked state to get the hell out of there.
Wilder knew this could happen and he kind of knew why. It was the same reason most rich brats got drugs from him. They didn't want to feel and they didn't feel much at home. He still held his hand as the boy wanted him to let go. Shaking his head, he just held him there. He knew that Munroe was going to react badly at first because of his own thoughts but that was one thing Wilder was showing him. "No, I'm never letting you go. I mean it, everything I say to you I mean and I know you're scared right now but you have to trust me and i know you trust me." His other hand was soft on the boy's cheek. "I love you, Munroe."
Munroe was still trying to get away from the dom and the fact that he wasn't able to just added to his frustration. He started swearing, mostly under his breath as Wilder pressed the point that he had to trust him. How could he trust him when he was saying stupid shit like that he loved him? The second time Wilder said he loved him, Munroe pulled back in earnest, standing up while pushing the dom's hand away from his face as he choked back a sob, a few tears falling free though he was somehow managing to not full on cry, "Stop it! Let me fucking go!"
Wilder let him go but he didnt' fully let him go. He knew was going to try and run, try and hide. He's slip back for a bit to the boy that hid and to Wilder, that wasnt okay. As he cried and yelled, Wilder held his waist now. "No, I won't let you go and I won't stop saying it! I don't care if you dont' say it back, I know you probably can't but I wanted you to know and I'll keep telling you until you see that you do deserve to be loved and that you are.'
Munroe winced like what Wilder was saying physically pained him and he pushed at the dom's shoulder, trapped by the other's arm around his waist. His demands for Wilder to stop turned into something much more plaintive as his control over his tears was lost and he started to cry. His mind was a mess, mostly noise, loud, angry, self-flagellating noise as Wilder stated that he not only deserved but was loved. "Stop..." it was a pathetic tone that carried the single word and Munroe hated himself even more for it.
Wilder let him work down, let him break down in the tears he needed to let out and let go of. Once he was finally to the point that he was nothing more then a child in ways in his arms, Wilder hugged him closer. He kissed his temple and just rubbed along his back. Wilder hummed and sung softly to him, something he didn't do much.
Munroe had worked himself right up and was fast running out of the energy to sustain it. His efforts to get away were getting nowhere and they were sapping his energy faster than he'd have liked. Somehow, he ended up back in Wilder's lap, held close to the dom's chest with nothing left in him to oppose things. Bowing his head against Wilder's shoulder, Munroe just sat and cried until he couldn't even do that anymore. With a loud sniffle, he swallowed thickly and gave his head a little shake, "Wh-why..." it made no sense to him, none whatsoever.
Wilder "Why what?" Wilder asked. "Why do I love you? Because you push me, you challenge me, you make me happy. The way you care even if you act like you don't. How you make me wanted to be that kind of Dom that you deserve. That I want to be better with you and for you. I want to give you all you need. Thats why I love you." Lifting his chin a bit, he kissed him softly.
Munroe sighed in irritation at Wilder as he started to answer, it still not making any sense. His face was a mess when Wilder pulled it up for the kiss. The sub didn't protest but only returned it a little as he blinked quickly to prevent more tears from falling. His eyelashes were wet and stood out dark against his cheeks but he rubbed at them with one hand all the same, trying to get himself under control while avoiding eye contact with the dom.
Wilder didn't push him. He had answered him and he knew going into this that it would take time for Munroe to accept it, that it would take a lot of processing for him to understand. Reaching behind them, he grabbed a slice of pizza and handed it over to Munroe. He didnt' say anything, just let the boy lay against him and eat.
Munroe wouldn't have known what to say if he'd have felt like talking in the first place. Wilder's words were swirling around his head, fighting mercilessly with his doubts and fears. It was loud and disorientating and it took him a moment to understand that it was pizza that Wilder was giving him. He didn't feel like eating but his body seemed to have other ideas, basic instincts kicking into gear while his higher functions were preoccupied. It was damn good pizza though Munroe only half registered the lovely mix of flavours and when he was finished the slice he sighed deeply, expression still heavy as he tucked in against Wilder, turning his face against his chest to try and shut everything out for a bit.
Wilder held him close as the boy seemed to move himself in closer as well. Kissing his hair, he rubbed his back lightly. It was going to be on Munroe to break the silence right now. Wilder knew he wouldn't, not yet. He had to work through it all and it wasn't something simple or easy for anyone to work through.
Munroe didn't want to move, moving meant that Wilder might want to talk some more and he was so unbelievably done for the night. Just done. He had to get the subject away from Wilder's ridiculous notions and onto something easy, something like sex, but for the first time in a very, very long time, Munroe didn't even want to do that. Instead, he sighed and shook his head lightly, "'M not good company right now... I wanna go back to my room." It was a gambit and he highly doubted Wilder would let him go but on the off chance that he might....
Wilder sighed some. He didn't want to let Munroe go, he was scared he'd never come back but the words failed him. He wanted nothing more to at least keep him here. "I want you to stay, even if we dont' talk, even if all we do is this, I don't care. You're under orders and i'm not dropping them but you can sleep in the spare room if you want. I won't make you be around me." His words were soft, softer then ever though the were on the edge of the water that gathered in his eyes, was quick to blink it away.
Munroe: A choice now, one Munroe hadn't been expecting and, god, he'd never heard Wilder talk like that, so softly. It made his throat tighten again and the last thing he wanted to do was cry again. He couldn't handle that. Hesitating for a moment, Munroe sniffled loudly and then moved off Wilder's lap. Instead of leaving back to his room, the sub made a beeline to the spare room and he shut the door, leaning back against it for a second before sliding down to the floor. Wrapping his arms around his knees, Munroe tucked his head down and did his level best not to think about what had just happened. He knew leaving was a bit not good. He heard the emotion in Wilder's voice, knew that the guy was in a vulnerable position as well but he couldn't do it. He just couldn't deal with it.
Wilder let him walk away, hearing the click of the door. Once the door was shut, he let his head fall back as the tears rolled down his cheeks. He hadn't been through something like this in such a long time. When he told Daniel, it was easy, same with Teddy. Not with Munroe though, this was killing him. Slowly, he got up, cleaning up and working to distract himself however he could. The kitchen clean, Wilder tucked his legs up to his chest as he sat on the couch and watched his favorite Disney movies, anything to keep himself from the pain.
Munroe didn't know how long he had been sitting there. His ass was numb, he was cold with his lack of clothes, and he had somehow fallen asleep. With a sigh, he slowly stood, stretching himself out and figuring out a game plan, he couldn't just stay in Wilder's spare room for the rest of his life. His reaction had been so visceral, he didn't even fully understand it himself how much he had desperately needed to /not/ hear those words from the dom. How could he be expected to explain something like that when he didn't even understand it? But Wilder deserved something, anything, more than what he was currently getting and Munroe sighed as he exited the spare room to find the dom. Finding him in the living room, Munroe only glanced twice at the TV which was playing some sort of Disney movie. He would harass him about that later, right now, he moved to the side of the couch closest to the dom and got down onto his knees, eyes on the floor for a long while before he hesitantly looked up at him, "Can.... I sit with you, sir?"
Wilder didn't hear Munroe come out, he didn't even notice as he was lulled into a mindless place watching the movies. When he saw and heard him, he jumped a little. Looking down to him, Wilder licked over his lips and put his legs down. He didn't trust himself to talk, so he nodded. Not sure where Munroe would sit, but just glad to see his face once more.
Munroe: When he got the go-ahead, Munroe was again faced with a choice: where to sit. Obviously it wasn't going to be on the far side of the couch, but he didn't know if Wilder would appreciate him in his lap again or not. Maybe sitting against his side would be better? Christ.... standing, Munroe ran a hand through his hair, trying to buy himself some time as he tried to gauge where Wilder wanted. When he couldn't, he decided to try the lap and if he saw any sort of discomfort or anger he would abort and move to the side. Gingerly, he stepped over Wilder's legs and started to sit in lap. He was watching him very carefully and didn't see any negative reactions ended up in the dom's lap. He tucked his arm over his belly and leaned in again, resting his head on Wilder's shoulder so his eyes were pressed against his neck - it wasn't like he wanted to watch whatever was on the TV. Once he was there and settled, he couldn't stop the content sigh from escaping and he brought his hand up to grab on to Wilder's shirt, just needing to hold onto him somehow.
Wilder was surprised to have a lap full of boy again. He wouldn't say though how much of a relief it was to have him there once more. His arms wrapped the boy's waist as he kissed his forehead. "I'm not going anywhere." he whispered, when he felt the fingers grip his shirt. Wilder turned the tv to something different, knowing he could watch the movies another time. Right now it was about comfort, not just for himself but for his boy as well.
Munroe licked his lips and his grip tightened when Wilder spoke, his emotions threatening to flare up again. The tension in his muscles staved off another stupid fit, however and he just nuzzled in closer, wanting to just.... be. His mind was still a mess, he still didn't know what to think about the whole thing but he didn't have to, not right then. Right then he just needed to be in Wilder's arms, that's all. Simple in it's own complicated way.
Wilder held him tighter as Munroe held on tighter. So this was going to be it for the night, he just wanted to be there? Wilder was okay with that though there was part of him that wanted just a bit more. Looking down to him, Wilder lifted his chin. "May I kiss you some? Then maybe would you like to take a bath with me? Just simple things but I'll leave it up to you."
Of course, almost as soon as Munroe decided all he wanted to was sit in Wilder's arms he was overcome with the need to do more. Just sitting and relaxing was not his style and it wasn't Wilder's either. Looking up at the dom, Munroe took a moment before answering. With a little nod he moved his head to press a gentle kiss to Wilder's jaw, "Yeah... Sounds nice." So many things were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't get them out. Thankfully, he wouldn't have to, and his hand came up to cup the dom's cheek as he leaned in for a more proper kiss.
Wilder smiled as Munroe agreed to let him kiss him more. Pressing his lips to the boys, Wilder was more then happy to feel it. It was all the more reassurance that he wasn't going to lose the boy he cared so much for. Shifting some, Wilder laid back with munroe over him. His hands sliding up the boys back as the kissed.
Munroe: Munroe did what he always did when there was long-term kissing on the table: lost himself to it. He moved with Wilder, setting his hand on the couch cushion to hold up some of his weight while his other caressed the side of the dom's face. There was too much of an opportunity for stupid thoughts and emotions to get in the way of a good whatever-this-was so he made sure there were none. No thinking about Wilder confessing his love, not thinking about the look of hurt on the dom's face, not thinking about anything, there was only him and Wilder and all the wonderful points of contact between them.
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Taehyung x Reader - One Night Stand (Nine)
Part of the ‘Married to You’ Series.
Summary: A one night stand with Kim Taehyung turns into something you never would’ve expected.
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader
Genre: Romance, Drama, Arranged Marriage
Author: Moxie
Chapters: 01 & 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 (The Finale)
Chapter Nine
“Taehyung! Have you seen the tape?” You call out from your bedroom. You had purchased a baby journal and you wanted to attach the ultrasound photo you had gotten from the last visit. You wanted your baby to have something he or she could look back on.
“I think it’s in my room!” Taehyung yells back from the kitchen.
You jump up from your bed and walk towards his bedroom. Looking around you note once again how neat and tidy his bedroom was. He had everything organised and in place. He even had a tie rack.
When you don’t see the tape on your initial scan you call for him again.
“I can’t find it, where is it?”
His reply is fast and short.
“Table!”
At his reply your eyes immediately find his table and sure enough next to his pile of papers is the roll of clear tape. You pick it up and turn to leave but something catches your attention from the corner of your eye.
You turn your gaze back, leaning in closer to see what it is.
It’s your card holder. The one you had lost from that night.
Confused as to why Taehyung would still have it, you pick it up and examine it. It’s definitely yours you think as you pull out your old ID card. You must’ve been nineteen when it was taken.
Why would Taehyung hold on to it until now? Why wouldn’t he give it back when you first moved in?
You put it back and something else catches your attention. Sticking out from a book is what looks like the edge of a photograph. You read the cover and see that it’s a photo album. Your interest is immediately peaked and you reach for it.
You had only seen one photo of Taehyung when he was younger and that photo was saved on your phone thanks to Jay, waiting for the perfect opportunity.
You open the photo album and immediately wish you hadn’t.
It’s a photo album of him and Anna. Photo after photo. Anna at the beach, smiling at the camera. Anna sitting next to him on the couch, reading a book candidly and a photo of Anna looking over her shoulder and laughing.
He must’ve taken these whilst they were dating.
Your heart drops and your stomach twists into knots making you feel quesy.
“What are you doing?”
Taehyung’s voice catches you off guard and you jump in surpise, dropping the album. Taehyung attention moves from you to the photo album and when he notices it his expression hardens.
“Who said you could go through my things? Is this what you do when I’m not around?” His voice is cold and hard. He’s angry.
You don’t know whether it’s because you were going through his things or because you were going through his private album of Anna. Either way his expression is dark and it rattles you.
“I-I, no I wasnt" you try to explain yourself but your words are stuck in your throat “I saw it on your desk and I just-”
“Thought you’d snoop?” He cuts you off.
“No! I was just curious. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have gone through it without your permission” you apologise wholeheartedly.
“Don’t go through my things that dont concern you. Just because you’re staying here doesnt mean you live here. The only thing we have in common is that baby you’re carrying, nothing else”. His words are harsh and they strike you where it hurts the most and you flinch at the impact.
He was right. Even though you lived together it didn’t mean anything. It didn’t make you his real wife and it also didn’t make your relationship real. The past month together meant nothing. A drunken mistake had brought you two together, not fate. You were on borrowed time and you had allowed yourself to forget it, until now. You let your feelings cloud your judgement and leave yourself vulnerable. Your eyes begin to water and you look up to the ceiling, trying to blink them back.
Taehyung, as if noticing how harsh his words sounded, lets out a deep breath. He runs his fingers through his fingers and bends to pick up the album.
“Just get out” he sighs.
A single tear escapes despite your efforts and before he can see you, you quickly turn and leave, walking past your bedroom and heading straight for the front door. You refuse to let Taehyung see you cry.
–
Taehyung heard the front door close and he looked up from where he was crouched, photo album in his hand. He walks out of his room and searches for you but when he sees your bedroom empty he knows you’ve left.
The moment the words had come out he had regretted them. He hadn’t meant to hurt you.
He remembers how pained your expression was, your eyes glistening with tears. Angry with himself he throws the photo album across the room and it hits the wall with a loud thud.
He kicks his chair in frustration and sits down on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. His fingers grasping his hair between them. He had seen you holding the photoalbum and he had reacted without thinking. No one had ever seen that album, it was private.
What was he doing? He thought to himself.
He was usually so cool and calm but for some reason being around you messed him up. You were also affecting his work. He found himself easily distracted and the other day it took him hours to finish a photoshoot that he would’ve normall breezed through because his mind was off wondering what you were doing.
Hell, it was a miracle he landed the contract with the store. After he had cancelled the meeting they were reluctant to give him another shot. His manager had spent an entire weekh hounding them until they eventually agreed to reschedule.
He had always been focused on his work and that had always been his top priority. He used to work straight throughout the year, never taking holidays off but now he was taking breaks whenever he got the chance.
Without even knowing it you were getting under his skin.
His got up and licked up the photo album. The thrown had made one of the pages come loose and a photo slipped out and landed on the ground by his feet. He bent down to pick it up.
It was the last photo he ever took of Anna. It was a year ago and they had been at the beach, Anna’s favourite place to relax. He remembered that day well. It was the day she told him she was moving to the U.S and broke things off with him.
He had loved Anna and he knew that a part of him always will. She was his first love. They had met when she tranferred to his highschool from America and he thought she was the most beautiful thing in the world. They have been seat mates and quickly became friends.
Back in school he was quiet and shy and it was Anna who helped him get out of his shell. She would push him to try new things and in the end it was her who had pushed him to become a model.
She believed in him when no one else did, not even himself and for that he owed her.
His feelings for her had developed naturally and everything fell into place as if it was meant to.
Contrary to the rumours though he wasn’t going to propose to her. He had been thinking about it but the timining didnt feel right. He didn’t bother clearly up the rumours though because he saw no point in giving tabloids and gossip magazines the attention.
He puts the photo back into the album and places it back on his desk. He had been meaning to throw it away. Anna had given it to him as a present one year as a joke. She had said that with this album he’d never miss her and when she had left it was a source of comfort for him but now he no longer needed it. In fact he had forgotten all about it.
A heavy feeling of guilt sets into his stomach and Taehyung decides to apologise once you return.
–
You had forgotten your wallet.
In your haste to leave you had forgotten to take your phone and your wallet. With no money you had no choice but you walk around. You weren’t one hundred percent familiar with the neighbourhood yet so you decided to stick to the main road and see where it took you.
You didn’t have your phone on you so you had no idea how long you had been walking for but going by how your legs were starting to ache it must’ve been a while.
You sniffle back your tears and wipe your nose, refusing to cry. You hate yourself for letting a man make you cry, especially a man like Kim Taehyung who thought the world shined out of his rear end.
You didn’t need a man. You had gotten along fine on your own before and that hasn’t changed. This is just your heart clouding your judgement.
Stupid heart.
You spot a bench down the road and head towards it. Relieved to be sitting down, you stretch your legs out in front of you and wipe your face with the sleeve of your shirt. You look around and take in your surroundings.
You had left the residential area and had ended up where the businesses were. Building after building lined the streets and men and women in their crisp suits were hustling by, probably rushing to go home.
There’s a large white building across the road and you spot a man coming down. He catches your attention because he’s wearing a striped tshirt with denim overalls. Surrounded by a sea of suits he stuck out like a sore thumb.
You scan his face and can’t help but feel that there’s something familiar about him. As if feeling your eyes on him the man turns to face you and when your eyes meet his face breaks out into a wide grin, his eyes turning to adorable half moons.
He waves his arms in the air frantically and calls out your name. A few people passing by give him weird looks but he ignores them. Smiling and laughing softly to yourself at his unrefined reaction you wave back. You stand up just as he crosses the road and closes the distances between you two.
However once he reaches you and he sees your eyes, which are still red and puffy, his smile slips and his face turns stern.
“What did the idiot do now? I’ll break his pretty boy ass in two. I don’t care if he’s bigger than me everyone knows it’s speed that wins. Plus, that pretty boy probably doesn’t even know how to fight”.
He balls both of his hands into fists and starts punching the air making sound effects. He looks so ridiculous that you can’t help but burst out into uncontrollable laughter.
In that moment you had never been more grateful to have someone like Jay in your life. After you bumped into each other at Taehyung’s agency you had exchanged numbers and he was a constant source of laughter.
“Thank you Jay, I needed that” you smile.
“Do you feel better?” he asks.
You nod in response and change the subject.
“What are you doing here?”
“I just finished a meeting. Boring” he pulls a face and you chuckle.
“I’m glad I ran into you though! I need your help. Come with me” he takes your hand and leads you back across the road towards his car which is parked at the back of the building.
He opens the passenger door for you and you climb in, curious as to what he needs your help with. You try to ask him as he jumps into the driver seat but he doesn’t answer, only saying that it’s a surprise.
–
Glancing at the front door for what felt like the thousandth time Taehyung got up from his seat and started impatiently pacing back and forth.
Where the hell was she? It’s been hours and it’s dark outside.
He had called your phone an hour ago but stopped when he heard it ringing in your bedroom.
This idiot could've at least brought her phone! He thinks to himself.
He tried to think of where you could’ve gone too but remembered that he didn’t know who your friends were. Or if you even had any. He realised that other than the basics he didn’t know much about you. That was going to change starting now.
As the sky grew darker and the clock ticked by Taehyung started to get more and more worried. His mind started to come up with all sorts of scenarios.
What if she hurt herself? What if she got lost and is stuck in the middle of nowhere? What if she tried to hitchhike and got picked up by some pervert? What if that pervert tried to-
He shook his head and groaned in frustration. This woman was going to be the death of him.
He reaches for his car keys and slips on his jacket, making sure to lock the door behind him on his way out.
–
“This is what you needed my help with?”
Jay had taken you to a dog cafe and you were both currently sitting on the floor, a puppy on each of your laps. The place wasn’t too busy so you had most of the area to yourself. You had ordered drinks and some snacks that were sitting on the table safe from curious puppy paws. You had opted for a hot matcha latte and Jay, an iced americano.
You stared at the four-month-old golden retriever on your lap, whose name was Chimmie and gave it a hug when it stared back at you with its adorable puppy eyes. This was officially your new favourite place.
“Yeah, I’m thinking of getting a dog and I wanted to see which one is most compatible” Jay replies rubbing the belly of the white poodle on his lap.
Sounds plausible enough you think to yourself.
“So have you narrowed it down yet?” You ask, reaching into the bag of dog treats you had bought at the front counter and feeding one to Chimmie.
“Poodles aren’t so bad I guess. Isn’t that right Miri? Whose a good girl?” He coos at the poodle who response is to lick his face.
Your stomach lets out a loud grumble and you look at Jay, embarrassed, hoping that he didn’t hear it.
His laugh tells you he most definitely heard it.
“Okay okay I hear you mister stomach. Let’s get you some food” Jay places Miri on the floor and stands up, dusting off his pants.
“Oh no! It’s okay I can wait until I get home, I’m not that hungry” you insist but you don’t sound convincing when your stomach growls again. This time even louder than before.
“Okay, maybe I am” you admit in defeat.
“I know the best place to eat. There’s a ramen place not too far away, it’s amazing!” Jay leads you to the exit and you follow happily.
Ramen sounded amazing.
–
Where the hell is this woman!?
Taehyung took off his jacket and threw it onto the kitchen counter in frustration. He unbuttons the top of his shirt and rolls up his sleeves. Opening the refrigerator door, he pulls out a bottle of orange juice and starts to drink straight from the carton. However, he stops as it is halfway to his lips and remembering your lecture on germs, he reaches for a glass in the cupboard and fills it to the brim.
Quenching his thirst he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and glances at the clock. It’s ten o'clock at night.
He had spent the last hour driving around the neighbourhood looking for you but when he couldn’t find you he resigned himself and came home.
He was now past the point of worry and was frustrated and angry. He was frustrated at you for not bringing your phone and for not thinking to call and let him know if you were safe and he was angry at himself for caring so much.
He hears the front door open and he turns to face you.
–
You wave goodbye to Jay as he reverses out of the drive way. After you had eaten you had both decided to take a walk along the river to help you digest. You had, had a great time with Jay and whilst you were with him Taehyung hadn’t crossed your mind once. Except now as you walk towards the front door your mind begins to go into overdrive .
Is he angry at me?
Does he want me to leave?
Should I leave? It’s hard trying not to have feelings for him when he’s constantly around.
Stop overthinking things, idiot! You’re just going to work yourself up.
Taking a deep breath, you open the front door and step inside.
–
The first thing you see is Taehyung. He’s waiting for you in the kitchen with his arms crossed and his hip leaning against the counter top.
His black dress shirt is half unbuttoned and his sleeves are rolled up, emphasising the size of his forearms. His hair is messy, as though he’s run his fingers through them multiple times. He looks just as handsome as ever.
Your gaze travels up from his broad shoulders to his face.
He’s definitely still angry.
His expression is hard and his jaw is clenched. He hasn’t said a word yet.
Before you can formulate a sentence in your head he’s taking three quick steps towards you, closing the gap. In the blink of an eye he’s in front of you and his arms are reaching out for you. You close your eyes and brace for the worst but instead you feel his strong arms wrap around you, pulling you close to him, until your chests are touching. Your heart skips a beat and you forget how to breath.
You don’t know what is going on. You thought he would yell at you and that there would be an argument. You had prepared yourself for the worst, not for this.
Taehyung’s head falls down to rest in the crook of your neck and your head is cradled against his chest. His heartbeat echoes in your ear, a perfect counter to your own. His scent invades your sense until it consumes you and it’s all you can think about.
You’re still completely stunned and you wonder if you’re dreaming. Your body moves on it’s own and you wrap your arms around his waist. He squeezes you. You squeeze back.
–
Taehyung doesn’t know what happened. One minute he was ready to strangle you and the next you were in his arms. The moment he had seen your face he was overwhelmed with relief. Relief that you were okay and that you were home safe.
“Don’t scare me like that ever again” he whispers softly. Half to himself.
–
You don’t reply. Instead you nod your head in response, not wanting to break the moment. You close your eyes and inhale his scent. You want to imprint the feel of him into your brain forever.
If you had one wish in this lifetime, it would be to stop time so you could stay like this forever.
To be Continued
#bts fanfction#bts imagines#bts taehyung#bts tae#taehyung x reader#bts romance#bts x reader#bangtan boys#bangtan seonyeondan
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00:53 21/06/2021
Hello again <3
so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.
i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.
so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.
i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.
so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.
anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.
i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.
i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.
god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.
20:21 30/06/2021
MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V
MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY
so
23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.
um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.
my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.
so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.
the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!
#why does tumblr break up the paragraphs like this#there isnt supposed to be paragraphs#maybe i should change that#anyway off to fix all my post so far and tag the all like ->#june 2021 entry#2021 the year of fun
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Because there are so many parallels between my life and Terezis life, when I recall Homestuck, look at fan creations, ect, I find myself there. Somehow that chapter of my life makes sense. but its also frustrating. Sometimes I feel like Andrew Hussie scried on me and it scares the shit out of me. Also, it adds to the difficulty of moving forward by dwelling on that chapter of my life and I cant see a future for myself.
It definitely helps me sort out my emotions, though. It also helps me see from other perspectives.
Terezi is a troll that many people seem to like. It boggles my mind because I dont think I am likable. I feel happy and flattered people like that version of me, but my real life self is ignored/neglected/unseen by others.. pretty typical.. but.. just strange to me.
How do I describe the differences between us, though?
Terezi embraces her insanity and feels at home speaking her mind and her friends like her for it. Shes probably seen as smart, I guess? People typed her as ENTP afterall.. [Karkat is the ENTP, not me. >.>] She stands up to and insults/mocks Karkat when hes an asshat. I dont know that I could do that, although I really wish I could.
I embrace my insanity, but I rarely if ever speak my mind and even though Im mischievious and fun-loving.. Im quiet and have seen myself more as a background character in their lives. I dont think Im smart. I dont know how to let loose around them. [by them, I mean Karkat, Kanaya, Rose, and some of the others.] I could be myself around Dave and Gamzee though. The thing is, too, Dave and Gamzee [and Kanaya] are my age, but the others are older. I went to the same schools with Dave, Gamzee, and Kanaya. [Aradia too, but she wasnt part of the core group.]
Despite my membership in the group never being vocally disputed, I never really felt like a real member of the group.
I keep wondering why things turned out this way. Why did they show mercy to me, when they didnt to some of the others they kicked out..?
I ultimately walked away. Dave was passive-aggressively gate-keeping all my old pals from me [or maybe they requested he did this], and it was heartache to be around Karkat anyway so I just left.
Theyre all terrible communicators if you ask me, if Dave always had to speak for them. -.-
Theyre happier without me in their lives, though, so thats something. I still care about all of them, although Dave is seriously on my shit-list right now. I dont know how to think about him without feeling angry and indignant. Im trying to sympathize with him so hard, but heres the thing.. Dave feels so much self-pity for himself already that its ridiculous. Hes the biggest fucking buzzkill alive. Hes like my mom and thinks because bad stuff happened to him that the world should revolve around him and he doesnt have to change his obnoxious, unlikable behaviors. Every one else is the problem, it couldnt possibly be him, hes an innocent angel who doesnt have a selfish bone in his body, apparently. LOL.
Although.. maybe people in the group saw me as more of a buzzkill than him because I was *emo*.. I didnt throw temper tantrums though and demand that I get my way and make my problem their problem. The one time I disrespected Dave was after he had let his crush on me become imprinted into my mind, that his feelings were MY responsibility. He was so out of control that KARKAT, someone I really thought was smart and admirable accused me of leading him on.
How am I supposed to deal with that? How are Daves unrequited feelings for me MY FAULT?!
And Karkat said I was manipulative to everyone too. [lol.. another parallel I forgot to add to the other post.]
I dont see myself as manipulative, or at least not more manipulative than anyone else. v.v its pretty upsetting to know thats what he thinks of me.
the thing is, I know how to read most people really well.. there are definite advantages to that.. but everyone is manipulative and selfish in some way. Dave throws temper tantrums, I focus on win-wins.
You know, honestly.. I think if I were to let myself pity or sympathize with Dave, Id be back in that boat of being miserable. I associate him with a friend with unrequited feelings for me, and by itself itd be fine, but even Karkat was blaming me, saying his heartache was my fault.
so i got into the habit of pretty much ruthlessly reminding him im not interested. because i tried telling him plenty of times.
i can be flirtatious. i can send mixed messages. i dont mean to. but its not like im intentionally leading him on and sending mixed messages. the thing is.. i want him to stay my friend. [it was ultimately clinginess, but in a way Dave didnt prefer.] i guess thats why im flirtatious with him. maybe its unnecessary. I wish karkat could have seen that in me, and encouraged me and given me the benefit of the doubt. he could have reassured me that Dave would remain friends with me and I would have 100% listened to him.
the whole situation would have been immediately resolved right then and there. i would have seen how my crush on karkat parallels Daves crush on me, and wed all be best buds forever.
but i wasnt valuable to them ultimately.
i guess i sent the wrong message and destroyed my own reputation in their eyes forever.
it is what it is, as karkat likes to say.
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it’s always kinda funny trying to figure out why things ended up the way they did, in terms of all the small decisions and where the mistakes where made
yesterday i was way too fucking tired to hang out w the de anza degens and watch the league of legends world finals. i pretty much took us home from aquis and i passed the fuck out.
and later michael said he kinda wished he couldve hung with them, and later when i woke up i felt the same. but even while sleeping i told michael not to wake me during the world finals and i just peaced the fuck out.
so reflecting on it — i definitely should not have stayed up drinking til like 3 the day before yesterday, when i had to wake up for my rideshare by like 9. especially when the day before i had stayed up smoking and cleaning my room til 5, and then i woke up at like 12. and when the day before that i had stayed up til 5 drinking, and then i woke up for my 8 am, and didnt really have time to nap properly after.
so yeah, a landslide of bad sleeping decisions. but especially the night before, i shouldve turned in early so my body wasnt so done w me.
my rideshare was also fucking awful. my driver was a pushover, and so am i a little bit. and the other guy in the rideshare loved to take advantage of that! he was seedy and shady and i hated him so much for manipulating us because we were nice. he made our rideshare take us to wholefoods, to ross, etc like get his chores done bc we thought it was nbd. i would say i dont want to, or we shouldnt, but i wasnt firm enogh and i ended up getting totally steamrolled over. im never going to let myself get taken advantage of ever again.
michael was super steamed bc i ended up making him wait too, bc i came later than i thought since we were doing this guys fucking chores. i told him i tried to say something but then he texted me — “well you should say fuck no” “you fucking idiot” in separate texts and i thought he called me a fucking idiot. he texted right after “him being the fucking idiot” but i didnt see that because i had put my phone down after the text before trying not to cry.
it literally destroyed me and made me so sad and when he came to pick me up he was super angry, not at me at all, but at what happened. he was frustrated for sure but i thought he had called me that, and it had scared me because i thought it was super unfair and mean and uncharacteristic. it’s crazy that i thought he would even say that to me because he never would??? i think i was super insecure and projecting how i felt about myself, and i still felt it was within the realm of possibility he would say that to me so i couldnt even look at him.
i was quiet on the ride back, and he started talking to me and asking what happened, and i started crying trying to explain. and he said he understood but as the conversation went on he said he didnt understand why i hadnt apologized yet for making him wait. and i said i apologized over text, and im sorry for making him wait. but he said my apology didnt sound genuine. he said he wasnt trying to be difficult, especially on our first meeting. the situation must’ve been very confusing for him because i was reacting to a misunderstanding that we hadn’t know had happened yet.
i told him i didnt know what to do about that, if i am apologizing genuinely. i told him im just trying to understand what happened because it was kind of traumatizing to be taken advantage of like that and then in hindsight realize how you were manipulated, and then come see your boyfriend super angry because i wasnt able to take control of a situation and he has to be part of it all and how scary that was. and he asked me, confused, why i was scared? and i told him i was so tired and hungry and scared and sad and confused and i didnt want to have to do all of this. and he said thats ok, we can drop it.
later i said im sorry for being a pussy. and even though it makes it so that im not looking at myself, im sorry that guy was such a dick that you felt the radius of his awfulness. he laughed and said that felt apology felt more genuine. and he said he was just happy to see me.
when i got home i checked my texts and then i said “oh...” and explained how i had thought he called me a fucking idiot and he dropped everything and came to hug me and apologize and said he would never say that to me and like went hardcore on saying sorry. i was just happy everything was cleared up and i told him not to do that in texts ever again >:( and he was like ofc ;_;
so now after being physically exhuasted i had to go through an emotionally draining experience over a bad text. i bet if i wasn’t so exhuasted i wouldve been able to figure out how to sort things better, and realized why i was so upset.
then i always couldve powered through being so exhuasted but at aqui’s like. justin was so fucking annoying. like listening to justin talk, even when i am fully rested, destroys my social stamina. he makes me want to be rude and ignore him and give one word responses because otherwise i will go crazy. and then if u seem tired he’s like “are you okay?” and its like yes, but no because of you. please stop being annoying.
even looking at will is pretty triggering now because my perception of him has been realigned w how he really is bc of a few recent mishaps. i could go into them in detail but basically he’s just a little kid who has a lot of growing up to do, isnt good at listening, being open minded, planning things.... i had to dd because he fucked up planning on the way there. he told his friends to come and then we ended up heading out when they were supposed to come!! like yes, george shouldve checked his phone for the change in plans but also. stop sending conflicting plans last minute. >:( i am the most tired one here. and then no one else offered to drive because it was all last minute. like i am back for the first time and y’all aint even gonna warmly greet me and take care of me???????? just kidding but also not kidding LOL
so the table seating at aqui’s was fucking awful. daniel was way on the edge when he should be sitting near me and michael cause he’s the only other cool person. alvin was fine but i was like zzz because justin was in the center. justin does like one on one conversations “well” (by this i mean he can keep a conversation going for forever and not in a good way) so he should be on the side. will was playing a fucking phone game so he shouldve been on the side. alvin ended up being on his phone too.
daniel tried to engage but the tables are too far and he could only make like funny eye contact w us every once in a while and i was like TT
so i slowly phased in and out of consciousness and then by the end of the trip i was like. michael. i need to go and die in peace rn.
and thats why i missed worlds. its a lot of situational things but thats why you gotta make sure you aren’t HALT (hungry angry lonely tired) so you can evaluate your situations and fix shit up and be actually alive to take on the world.
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Do I - Happy Lowman
Song Do I By Luke Bryan.
Happy Reading Dollies!!
Baby what are we becoming
It feels just like we're always running
Rolling through the motions everyday
I could lean in to hold you, or act like I don't even know you
Seems like you could care less either way
What happened to that girl I used to know
I just want us back to the way we were before
Stretching your arm to cuddle with your Old Man, his side of the bed was cold. Has been for a while. You huffed as you got up.
You barely saw Happy. He was always with the club, you would plane a nice dinner or try to be sexy he would always say the club needs me. You were getting frustrated.
Grabbing your phone you texted him. "Hey Babe, wish you were here right now". "Could go for some morning sex"😈😈. "I love you, have a great day, be safe". ❤❤😘😘😍
You went to the bathroom, brushing your teeth waiting for his response. Nothing. Getting dressed you were really feeling sad and angry. What was he up to, did you send it correctly. You looked at your phone. Everything was right,except your relationship.
You sat on the bed, thinking back to when you first started dating Happy. He said he wasnt good with relationship but hes the one that made it official that your his and only his. He was a tough guy when with his brother but with you he was a big sweet heart, you could get enough of him. Sex was out of this world, mind blowing. You would have sex four to six times a day but now its maybe two times a month. You wiped away a tear. Something was different about him.
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy
Do I have your love, am I still enough
Tell me don't I, or tell me do I, baby
Give you everything that you ever wanted
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life
Baby, do I
Driving to TM, you decided to talk to him about not being there for you. Pulling up you saw him talking to a crow eater. Angry came over you. Storming over to him, you grabbed the croweaters hair. Her hands went to yours, trying to get free. "OW OW bitch, your fucking hurting me".
"Then you should stay away from whats mine". You threw her to the ground. "You ever look at him again, I will torch your ass".
"He's the one that started talking to me". "Ask him".
Happy groaned and rolled his eyes. "Leave her alone Y/N".
Standing the dumbfounded. "Your really taking her side than mine".
"Get out of here". Happy yelled to the croweater.
"Happy what has gotten into you, or its more like who have you gotten into cause it aint me".
Happy kept quite. "Your not going to talk to me fine". "I'll do it".
"Happy you've changed since we got together, people do but your going over the line". "You're never home and when you are, you dont speak to me or even acknowledge that I'm there". "I'm lonely Happy, your here with your firends, I have no body".
Remember when we didn't have nothing
But a perfect simple kind of loving
Baby those sure were the days
There was a time our love ran wild and free
Now I'm second guessing everything thing I see
"I didnt ask you to just get up and move with me". Happy finally spoke.
"The hell you didnt, your exact word were". "Please come with me, I love you and I dont want to lose you". Tears falling as you yelled at him.
"That didnt mean you had to".
"If I didnt I would have lost you but it seems that I already have". "I wasted three years of my life with you if you dont feel that same way as me". "I love you, I want this to work but.." You were at loose of words.
"I loved you too Y/N". "I grew up, I got more involved in the club, you just took a back burner".
"You mean you found free pussy that you didnt have to come home to and talk". "You could just bang and look the other way". "I'm sorry I have feelings for you".
"I'm sorry too". "You want this white picket fence, with a nice house and kids". "I dont". "I want our old life back, when we could get on the bike and ride until we were happy where we were". "You loved riding, partying and having a good time with friends". "Lately you've been a stuck up little bitch". "Not wanting to come here and be around everyone, just having a good time". "You just sit at home, fucking whine about us, that we dont do anything, I dont take you out or you get mad at me for saying lets do something". "I'm sick of this shit". He yelled, taking a breathe to calm his anger.
Biting your lip, closing your eyes trying not to sob in front of him. "I'm sorry your unhappy with me".
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy
Do I have your love, am I still enough
Tell me don't I, or tell me do I, baby
Give you everything that you ever wanted
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life
Baby, do I
"I just want us to be carefree again". Happy couldnt think of anything else to say.
"I'm my happiest when I'm with you'. "But it seems that your not with me". You started to walk off.
"Y/N". Happy yelled running to you.
Turning around you looked at him with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. "What"?
"Do you love me"?
"Thats a stupid question".
"Just answer it Little Girl".
"Yes Happy I'm in love with you".
"That all I wanted to know".
"So what are we". You asked.
"We are still together, I want this to work, I love you and I cant see my self with anyone else".
"Happy you just said that you didnt want this shit any more".
"I had a change of heart, people do that". "I'm willing to change alittle". "I'll spend more time at home, in the bed room pleasing you even if it kills me". He laughed.
You grinned. "Okay". "I'll change to, we can go out and come here to party". "Go see a movie or just a nice dinner at the house". "I promise not to be a stuck up bitch anymore".
"See we are working together for us to be together". He said hugging you.
"Hap theres one thing I wont change".
"What is it"? He looked at you.
"I want kids". "I dont have to have the picket fence or a nice house". "But I want kids with you". "Ever since I saw you at your mommas house I thought you would be a good father, the way you love her deeply and take care of her". "I want that, I want kids to run around, your mother would love that even more then I do and we would be pretty cool parents". Smiling up at him wait for his reaction.
"We will see where the rode takes us okay". "If it happens then it happens". "We arent rushing things or trying to provent them from happening". He smiled while kissed you.
Still give you what you need
Still take your breath away
Light up the spark way down deep, baby do I
Happy kissed you deeply, your tongues danced together while standing standing in the middle of the drive way.
"I see your back together". The croweater came over.
"Yeah we are so dont try getting with him ever".
"I wont, I'm not that type of girl". "You two should be together". "Take care Happy". "Miss". The croweater walked off.
"Did you sleep with her or any other croweater, porn star etc"?
"No, I just came here an drank or worked until we had something to do". "I never cheated on you, not once". "I know back there I didnt say anything cause I knew you wouldnr believe me".
"I believe you Hap, just dont talk to another croweater Clear".
"Crystal" "I love you".
"I love you too". You grabbed the back of his head, pulled him in for a kiss.
Whoa,
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy
Do I have your love, am I still enough
Tell me don't I, or tell me do I baby
Give you everything that you ever wanted
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life
Its been four months since the decision to give it another try. Life couldnt be better. Happy has been spending more time with you. Sex was back to being mind blowing. You even changed. Going to TM's parties, not being a stuck up bitch and you even got your happy ending. Baby Finn Fearless Lowman was conceived at a TM party, so Happy and you got what you both wanted.
Tell me baby do I get one more try
Do I, baby do I
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