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#it changed my entire life in so many good ways
maximoffcarter · 2 days
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Your type.
Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot.
Summary: Alexandra Cabot was known as the top of her class and the good girl of Law School. Casey Novak was known as the famous softball player and the tomboy of Law School. Both meeting each other at a coffee shop, both in different stages of their lives. Would it work?
A/n: I needed to do some kind of college au for our babies. I thought it was cute, so here is my creation of it hahaha. I dunnp if it's any good or not, but I enjoyed writing this, it's been a while since I've done a college au, they used to be my favorites before haha. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻
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*not my gif*
Alexandra Cabot was top of her class. Many selfish and jealous people thought that she was the best just because she was a known person because of her last name. But the truth was that Alex was dedicated to school, she had always been, since she can remember; she spent her free days with books, she loved them. It wasn’t entirely a lie that her family had influenced her in getting into law school, but she was happy with her decision, and she was going to do anything to get to her goals, meaning, she wouldn’t let anything distract her from getting what she wanted. She was probably the only person in her class that didn’t go to parties or gatherings with her classmates, she didn’t go to the games the school held, she just focused on her studies. Did she regret it? Maybe. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to have a social life, she had her friend, but she knew that university was not about parties.
For two whole years it stayed that way, nothing had changed her mind, and she was still very much focused on her studies; that was until her eyes landed on a redhead. One of her classes had gotten canceled, meaning she had 2 hrs free to do whatever she wanted; so she decided to finish homework she had. She had thought about going to the library, but she decided she’d go for a coffee near her building, and she’d spend the two hours there. This was a coffee shop that she normally visited every now and then when she wanted to be at the library, the coffee, and the food in there was really good, and the environment was actually calm, and it helped her concentrate on the things she had to do. But as she sat down in her usual spot and looked around, she noticed a redhead taking an order. She had never seen her here, clearly, because she’d remember that beautiful smile. For a moment she was too stunned by how beautiful she was, she had stared way too longer that she didn’t notice her friend sitting right in front of her.
“Alex?”
Alex snapped out of her thoughts and stared at her friend. “H-Hi! Sorry. I uh…when did you get here?”
Erin chuckled. “I’ve been here for like 3 minutes. How long have you been staring at the redhead?” She grinned as she got her notebook and book out of her bag.
“I- what do you mean?” Alex chuckled nervously. “I was not staring at anyone, just…a bit lost. Thinking what I’m ordering.”
“Uhuh…as if you never order the same, Cabot.” Erin chuckled. “But okay, I’ll believe you. What are you ordering?” She raised her brow.
Alex sighed as she grinned. “Black coffee and a chocolate croissant.”
Erin laughed. “See? Why is it wrong that I caught you staring at the redhead? She’s really pretty.”
Alex shrugged. “I have never seen her here before.”
“She hasn’t been here for long. I saw her the day I came to buy us coffee. I think I heard she’s a law student too.”
Alex raised her brow. “Law student?” She nodded. “I can actually see that.” She said almost in a whisper as she got her things out.
“Alexandra Cabot is getting interested in someone after two years.” Erin smirked.
Alex looked up and shook her head rapidly. “I- Erin no! I just- I was-“
“Hi ladies! My name is Casey, can I offer you anything to drink or eat?” Casey smiled at both of them and then her eyes landed on Alex’s.
Alex cleared her throat as she looked up at Casey, trying to talk but all of a sudden, she forgot how to do that. Erin wanted to laugh but cleared her throat too, getting Casey’s attention. “I’ll get an iced latte with sugar please. And to eat, I’ll just get a muffin.” She then looked at Alex. “Alex? What are you ordering?”
“I- uh…black coffee and a croissant, please.” Alex offered a shy smile.
Casey grinned as she nodded. “Comin’ right up.” She then walked away, but not before she turned to look at Alex again, offering a smile.
Erin laughed and threw her head back. “Oh my, I never thought I’d live to see the day of seeing Alexandra Cabot getting nervous for someone! So.” She looked back at Alex. “Is your type redheads?”
“Jesus, Erin, drop it.” Alex sighed as she covered her face, blushing. “Let’s just-“ she sighed as she looked back at Erin. “Let’s get this done, we have class, and we need to hurry.”
“Avoiding. It is true that you always learn something new from people.” Erin chuckled teasingly as she opened her book.
Alex bit her lip as she looked at Erin for a moment, and then she turned her head to look at Casey. She had come out to Erin just a year ago, admitting that she had always been attracted to girls, but she never said a thing because she didn’t think it was relevant, but when Erin asked if she wanted to go on a double date with some guys, Alex thought it would be good to let Erin know that she was not into guys. She was relieved when Erin accepted her and never judged her, it was the other way around, actually, she was pretty much trying to get a date for Alex in every possible chance, but Alex refused reminding her that she only cared about school and not some dumb romance in university. But now…she had to admit that maybe a little crush on someone wouldn’t hurt. She didn’t actually have a type, she didn’t know if she did. But until now, all she knew, is that Casey could be her type.
********************
Alex sighed as she tried to keep her mind concentrated in the book she had in front of her, she was studying for finals and Erin was supposed to meet her at the coffee shop so they could study together, but at the end plans had changed and now Alex sat at her same spot, trying to focus on her book and hoping to not get distracted with the redhead. She didn’t even know if she worked that day, but the last time she had been going to the coffee shop, Casey was right there, and even if there was someone else taking orders, Casey was always the one that took their order. What Alex had been trying to avoid had happened; she had accepted to herself that she had a crush on Casey. She had been trying to avoid it, she had been trying to not think about her, but it was impossible after learning that she was also a law student, she was in her first year, so it’s not like they’d ever have same classes, but she had caught her in the hallways every now and then.
How did she know about this? Because of course Erin was encouraging her crush. She teased her every possible chance she had. She had also found out that Casey was in the softball team of the university, and it honestly made sense with how beautiful her body was. Alex tried hard to not think about Casey and about the new information that Erin had provided her, but in the last 4 months, it was kind of impossible not to think about Casey. That smile, those eyes, that voice. Alex was now lost, and she knew it. There was no turning back from this, unless of course, she tried to get over it or she found out that Casey had a boyfriend or something, which could break her heart…break her heart was probably too much. But she would feel sad? She was confused to say the least. It was just a stupid crush. That was it. A crush.
“Alex!”
Alex looked up from her book and her heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Casey, who was smiling at her. “Casey…hi.”
“You remember my name!” Casey chuckled softly.
How could I not remember it? “Yes, I do.” Alex chuckled. “You’re not working today?”
“Oh, I worked earlier. But I have finals, so they let me leave early. I actually just finished my shift and was going to stay around to study.” Casey smiled as she looked at Alex’s book. “I take it that you’re also studying.”  
Alex looked down at her book and smiled. “Yes…I uh…I am.” She looked back at Casey. “I’m just reading again, I already studied.” She chuckled nervously.
“Well, I’ve heard that you’re top of your class, so I believe you’re more than ready for any exam.” Casey grinned.
“You’ve…heard about me.” Alex frowned as she smiled.
“A little, yes.” Casey smiled. “I’m sorry I don’t wanna take your time. I- oh! I brought you this.” Casey placed a coffee and a small bag beside it. “Some encouragement to study.” She grinned.
Alex looked at the coffee and the small bag and smiled. “Is that…”
“Black coffee and a chocolate croissant. You always order the same.” Casey smiled. “I’ll see you around?”
Alex nodded. “Hey…do you…maybe want some help with studying? You can sit with me if you want to.”
Casey smiled. “Really?”
Alex nodded again. “Sure.”
“I’d actually appreciate that.” Casey smiled as she placed her backpack on the floor and sat down in front of Alex.
Alex knew that this wouldn’t really help her crush, but at this point, who really cared about it? She was going down, bad, and she knew it. Casey had heard about her, she knew her name, she had even learned her order. And the funny thing was that the very first time she met Casey, she had brought her a plain croissant because Alex had not mentioned she wanted a chocolate one, but suddenly Casey started bringing her the right order, and now she learned it, and even if it seemed nothing, it was everything to Alex. But then her mind started playing tricks on her. Why would someone like Casey want to be with Alex? Even hang out with her? It was surprising enough that Erin was her friend, they were totally different but similar at the same time, but they were able to build a close friendship. But Casey, she was younger by two years, but why would she find any interest in Alex? She was probably just being friendly, maybe she just wanted to know people who were older to have some sort of help in school, but the reality was that Alex didn’t care. The thought of helping Casey and being able to spend time with her made her feel good. This was so wrong, but she didn’t care.
********************
“Where are we going?” Alex asked as she sighed, crossing her arms as she waited for Erin.
Erin smiled as she walked to Alex, closing her closet. “We’re going to a softball game.”
Alex frowned. “We never go to those, Erin.”
“Now we are.” Erin grinned as she handed Alex a shirt with the softball team logo.
Alex stared at it and then realized what Erin was doing. “Erin.” She looked up at her. “No.
“Alex. Yes.” Erin smirked as she threw Alex the shirt. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late.”
“You made me come all the way here so you can embarrass me and take me to a game. Casey’s game.” Alex grabbed the shirt from her shoulder, looking down at it.
“It’s just a game! You get to see Casey play. You’re gonna tell me you don’t wanna see her.” Erin smirked as she turned to grab the rest of her stuff.
Alex sighed as she took off her hoodie and put the shirt on. “You’re gonna pay for this.”
Erin laughed. “You’re gonna tell me you haven’t been spending more time at the coffee shop.” She turned to look at Alex. “Oh, wait. With Casey, actually.”
Alex frowned. “I…haven’t.”
“Oh, yes you have. I saw you two days in a row, sitting with her.”
“I was helping her study!”
“So you introduced yourself?” Erin raised her brows.
Alex cleared her throat as she looked down at her hoodie. “She heard about me and knew my name…” she whispered softly as she looked up at Erin.
Erin smirked. “Oh, someone’s got a crush on you.”
Alex rolled her eyes. “Can’t we just go? Please.”
Erin chuckled. “Fine, let’s go.”
As they got to the field, Erin tried to get them to good stands so they could get a perfect look of the game. Erin went crazy buying food and snacks, but Alex was truly nervous that she’d be seeing Casey playing. In one of their meetings, Casey had talked about her playing softball and the training she had, which meant that she barely had any time to do anything at all, between school, work and practice, her days were pretty busy. So the fact that she had stayed hours with Alex meant everything to her, even if they had been mostly studying the whole time. Alex looked around as she sat down, her eyes suddenly landing on the redhead who was stretching. Her breath hitched as she noticed the tight uniform and how it hugged her body perfectly; she wanted to give herself a slap as she was focusing on her body, which was definitely not right. Her eyes went back to Casey’s face, and to her luck, Casey was already staring at her, a smile on her face as she waved. Alex blushed slightly as she waved back, smiling back at her.
Eventually, the game finally started, everyone around them screaming and clapping for the team. She didn’t even know what was supposed to happen in the game, but she was willing to stay focused for Casey. Erin tried to instruct her what was happening, but even if she tried to listen to Erin, she really didn’t understand a thing. Finally, Casey put on her helmet and grabbed her bat, earning loud screams as she walked to her base. Alex’s eyes lit up as she looked at Casey, smiling as she positioned herself; she had seen some baseball games with her father before, and so far, she knew that Casey’s team was winning, and if she hit a…homerun? Something. They’d win the whole game. Or that’s what her mind made up. She couldn’t help but scream and stand up when Casey started running fast around all the bases, the whole crowd going insane screaming Casey’s name. Erin and Alex jumped and screamed together as Casey’s team surrounded to celebrate the win, everyone cheering for them and throwing food and water. Alex’s eyes focused on Casey for a moment, and her smile slowly faded as she noticed a girl hugging Casey and placing her hand on Casey’s cheek, leaning in to kiss her cheek. Alex cleared her throat and looked at Erin, offering a small smile as her heart sank.
Alex had asked Erin if they could already leave, not wanting to stay there anymore, even if it meant that they’d lose the celebration and the team. Erin had drunk a lot of soda and water, so Alex was waiting for her outside the restrooms, wrapping her hoodie around her waist and crossing her arms as she looked around. A bunch of people kept celebrating and screaming, running around, and jumping. Alex never understood sports, and she couldn’t believe that Erin had convinced her to come just to have her heart hurt at the sight of another girl kissing Casey. She sighed softly, rubbing her face, and groaning softly.
“Alex!”
Alex uncovered her face and her heart stopped for a second as she saw Casey running to her. “Hey.”
Casey smiled widely as she stood in front of Alex. “Hi. I’m so glad I caught you. I wanted to say hi since I saw you at the start of the game.”
Alex cleared her throat. “Oh. Uh. Well hi.” She smiled. “Congratulations, by the way. Good game.”
Casey chuckled as she looked at the ground for a moment. “Thanks.” She looked back at Alex. “I didn’t think Alex Cabot was a sports girl.”
Alex huffed a laugh. “I am not.” She shook her head. “But uh, my friend Erin, she dragged me here. I’m waiting for her so we can go.”
Casey nodded. “Oh, got it.” She smiled. “Hey, uh. So…later we’re throwing a small celebration party, since this was the last game of the season. I was wondering…if you wanted to come.”
Alex stared at Casey for a moment, thinking that maybe she had heard wrong. “Uh…a party?”
“Yes.” Casey smiled. “I mean I don’t normally go to these parties, but you know, we won, thought it could be fun for once. I don’t really have to work tomorrow so. And I was actually going to call you, you saved me a phone call.”
Alex smiled softly. “So…even if I didn’t come…you were going to invite me?”
Casey shrugged. “Why not?” She grinned.
Alex nodded. “I uh…well, I don’t normally go to any parties. I don’t…really get invited but uh-“
“We’re definitely going!” Erin said as she walked out of the restrooms, smiling at Alex and then at Casey. “That’s if I’m invited too? If not, I’ll drop of Alex.” She grinned.
“Of course! I mean, the team is inviting a lot of people so.” Casey chuckled. “So, yes?”
Alex looked back at Erin and then at Casey, smiling as she nodded. “Sure. Where?”
Casey’s smile widened. “Uh…Tina’s house. Back Bay area, there’s going to be a big sign outside the building, so you won’t miss it. I can call you later and tell you the right address.”
“Sounds good.” Alex smiled.
Casey nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you then. Bye Erin.” She smiled before she walked away.
Erin’s mouth opened in surprise as she turned to look at Alex. “Alexandra Cabot going to her very first university party! Oh my! We gotta find you a perfect dress!”
Alex rolled her eyes as she sighed, turning to look at Erin. “Don’t get too excited, Er. I think I saw a girl kissing Casey’s cheek.” She started to walk, trying to hide the excitement she felt.
Erin frowned. “Oh, c’mon, Alex.” She followed her. “That doesn’t mean anything! I kiss you on the cheek too, doesn’t mean we’re dating.”
“I know but…” Alex scoffed. “Why would Casey Novak be interested in someone like me? Like seriously. I’m older than her, I’m…literally a nerd.”
Erin raised her brow. “You do realize that it’s obvious that younger people are fascinated by people of our ages. Plus, it’s two years. And!” She jumped in front of Alex to stop her. “You’re not the only nerd. Casey is top of her class.” She grinned.
Alex frowned. “What?”
“Uhuh. Laura was telling me the other day. We go to the same hair salon, and she was talking about how Casey was the smartass in their class. So her asking you to help her study? Yeah, that was definitely just to spend time with you, Cabot.” Erin smirked.
Alex shook her head as she tried to hide her smile. “Okay…even if she wanted that. I still don’t think she’d be interested in me.” She shrugged. “So…this. The party? It’s just a party and that’s it.”
Erin rolled her eyes. “If you say so. But. We’re still gonna dress you nicely. Comfortable. But nicely. If Novak doesn’t lay eyes on you tonight, we’re getting you someone else. Maybe we can get another redhead.” She smirked.
“Fine.” Alex grinned as she rolled her eyes.
********************
“You’re not gonna leave me alone, are you?” Alex asked as they walked to the house, looking at Erin.
Erin looked back at Alex and smiled. “I believe you’ll leave me at some point. But no, and if you want to go, we can go. Promise I won’t drink much.” She chuckled.
Alex sighed as she nodded. They walked inside the house and Alex was pretty surprised to find a big crowd, the music was a bit loud and there was barely any lights. Erin took her hand so they wouldn’t get lost in the crowd, trying to get to the middle of the house or somewhere where they could actually move and hear each other. They finally got to what seemed to be the living room, people were dancing and drinking, some were playing with the cups, some were making out. So this is what a university party was like, Alex was really not missing anything, this was just a mess and they seemed horny teenagers. In every single part, there were about 2 or 3 couples just making out. She thought that she only saw this in movies but no, it was pretty much real, and she was sure more people were upstairs, and she did not want to figure out what they were doing up there.
As she looked around the room, she saw Casey’s team gathered around in a corner, laughing and with drinks in their hands, and then there was Casey right in the middle. She smiled softly but then her smile fainted again as she saw the girl from earlier right beside Casey, her arm wrapped around her shoulder. Alex knew she had no point in getting jealous, but she was. But then Casey’s eyes landed on her, and Alex swore her smile widened as she saw Alex; she didn’t know if she had imagined it or not, but Casey’s eyes traveled down her body, and she nibbled on her lip as she started walking to Alex; she was thankful that she had let Erin dress her, Alex normally liked wearing nice clothes, but the skirt and the blouse along with the long boots that Erin had picked for her, were showing a little too much, but if that was getting Casey’s attention, then she didn’t mind one bit.
Her breath hitched as Casey got closer to her, her eyes also traveling down Casey’s body; Erin had joked before about Alex being into girls that didn’t exactly dressed girly, she had now seen Casey wearing her softball uniform, she had seen her wearing a skirt with a blazer for a presentation, her work uniform, and casual Casey. Party Casey looked like those girls from movies who were the ones that ruled over people, with a leather jacket, jeans and boots, and Alex couldn’t skip the shirt she was wearing, that showed Casey’s cleavage.
“I thought I’d have to call you to make sure you were coming.” Casey grinned as she stood in front of Alex. “You look nice.” She whispered softly but enough for Alex to hear her.
Alex chuckled nervously as she blushed. “You look nice too.”
Erin cleared her throat as she smiled at both women. “I’ll see myself out for a bit.” She grinned as she walked away, going to Casey’s friends.
Casey chuckled. “Can I offer you a drink?”
“I uh…I actually don’t drink that much.” Alex bit her lip as she looked at Casey.
“Oh, such a good girl, Cabot.” She grinned. “They have nonalcoholic drinks too. We can go to the kitchen to check.” Before Alex could answer, she grabbed her hand and pulled her to the kitchen, walking through the crowd.
Alex tried to stay as calm as possible, and then thought that a drink wouldn’t hurt, it could actually help her calm her nerves. Once they got to the kitchen, she stood close to Casey and smiled. “Actually, a drink wouldn’t hurt.”
Casey turned to look at Alex and smiled. “I can mix some vodka with soda or juice so it’s not too strong.”
“Whatever you drinking.” Alex grinned.
Casey couldn’t help but stare into her eyes, grinning softly. “You look beautiful with or without glasses, you know?”
Alex’s breath hitched again as she stared into green eyes. “Your eyes are beautiful.” She smiled.
Casey bit her lip as she smiled. “Thanks.” She then cleared her throat as she grabbed the drinks she was going to mix and two cups.
Alex looked around trying not to stare too much at Casey, and noticed Erin staring at her, a smirk on her face. She shook her head, a quiet laugh leaving her lips. She returned her stare to Casey once she saw her raising the cup and handing it to her. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Casey smiled as she grabbed her own drink and took a sip of it. “So, is this really your first party?” She leaned over the counter.
“You said it, I’m a good girl.” Alex smirked as she huffed a chuckle. “I uh…I focus a lot on school. I rather keep myself busy with studying or with books.” She shrugged. “I don’t know…I was just never an extrovert.”
Casey nodded. “I get that. I mean…these parties can get pretty crazy.” She chuckled. “I normally don’t come to these, and if I do, I literally leave early.”
Alex tilted her head. “I thought you were one of those athletic girls that liked to party and be a heartbreaker.” She grinned. “But I heard you’re also sort of a nerd.”
Casey blushed slightly as she looked at Alex. “I uh…I mean…yes, I just.” She huffed a chuckle. “Who told you?”
“Oh, a little bird.” Alex smirked. “So, you asking me for help…?” She raised her brow.
Casey shrugged. “Maybe I just…wanted to have an excuse to talk to you.” She grinned as she tilted her head, green eyes never leaving blue ones.
Alex knew she was probably blushing, but she couldn’t look away from Casey, she could stare at her for as long as she possibly could. “Nice excuse.” She simply said.
They stayed in the kitchen for a little longer than they expected, finding that it was the most quiet place in the whole house, and they just wanted to talk. They were talking about everything but nothing specific at the same time, just making each other smile and laugh. Even if Alex hated the fact that there were a lot of people surrounding them, she loved that she was with Casey, and that she was actually willing to stay with her. But then there was a moment where they literally dragged Casey away from Alex, and Casey made sure to tell her that she’d be back with her as soon as possible. Alex just watched her being dragged away and back into the living room, leaving her a bit sad but also understood that this was a party for them after all. Her eyes finally landed on Erin who was already walking to her, a smirk plastered on her face.
“I see you’re having a good conversation with Novak. Guess we won’t have to find you anyone else.” Erin smirked.
Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “We’re just talking, Er. Nothing more.”
“You’re seriously still in denial that she’s interested in you.” Erin chuckled. “You’re literally perfect, Alex. You’re top of your class, you’re beautiful, you’re nice. Damn, you’re a good girl, anyone would want to have you.”
Alex chuckled as she took a sip of her drink, trying to hide her smile behind her cup. “She did mention that.”
Erin raised her brow. “That you’re a good girl?” Alex nodded. “She does not lose time.” She chuckled softly.
“Well, I think I lost her for tonight. So, whatever was happening between us, is over.”
“Don’t lose hope, Cabot. She could come back any time soon. They’re just doing the typical winning ritual.”
Alex frowned as she looked back at Erin. “Ritual?”
“They take shots, depending on the score they made.”
Alex raised her brows. “Is that even safe?”
Erin shrugged. “Not sure, but don’t be too surprised if your little redhead comes back all drunk.” She chuckled as she took a sip of her drink.
Alex sighed. “I guess.”
“Everybody!” Tina got up on the table in the living room, getting everyone’s attention as they turned the music down. “Those who want to play the bottle, gather around! We got drinks and dares!”
Erin turned to look at Alex. “Let’s go play.”
Alex frowned. “No way. I don’t want to have the bad luck of having to kiss some drunk person.”
“And what if that drunk person turns out to be Casey?” Erin smirked as she grabbed Alex’s hand and pulled her to the living room. “Count us in!”
Alex sat beside Erin and sighed as she looked at the people that gathered around. She was sure that these people were either the ones that were way too drunk, or were somewhere in the middle, and the rest just decided to ignore it or were too into their own things. Her eyes landed on Casey for a moment who was in front of her and laughing with Tina as the people started to play. The first few rounds were stupid things like ‘take off your shirt’ ‘drink two shots’ ‘kiss this person on the cheek’, making Alex realize that these people were a bunch of teenagers and couldn’t believe that most of them -if not all- were law students. She couldn’t help but laugh the moment the bottle landed in Erin, and it so happened that the other side landed on one of Casey’s friends, who dared her to go to a room with her. Alex’s eyes widened as Erin agreed, telling her that they had to loosen up, and then followed the girl. She was too distracted as she saw in surprised how they disappeared, but her attention was brough back when she heard yelling and clapping, her eyes landing in the bottle who was pointing at her, and the other end happened to be on Casey.
“Cabot and Novak!” Alex’s lips parted as she tried to say something, but right away Tina spoke up again. “Since Alex doesn’t know what to say, I dare you two to seven minutes in heaven!” Everyone started cheering on.
“What?” Alex simply said, her eyes landing on Casey who was already standing up, chuckling, and telling Tina something. She shook her head and walked to Alex, extending her hand to help her get up.
“C’mon.” Casey offered a sweet smile.
Alex gulped but grabbed Casey’s hand, standing up and following her upstairs. She could hear everyone yelling and clapping, some of them screaming both Alex and Casey’s names as they went up the stairs. Before she knew it, she was being pulled into a room, and as she looked around, she was sure that this was Tina’s room. She cleared her throat as she turned to look at Casey who was closing and locking the door, leaning her back on it as she looked at Alex, smiling softly.
“Casey…”
“We don’t have to do anything.” Casey smiled.
“Are you- seriously?”
Casey chuckled. “Seriously. I sat down there for Tina, it’s just a stupid game.” She shook her head. “And…I hate having to force people into doing something they don’t want to.”
Alex cleared her throat. “What can you get done in seven min, anyway?” She chuckled.
Casey shrugged as she laughed. “I’ve never been in this situation. But I do know you can do something. Make out maybe.”
Alex stared at her for a moment, biting her lip softly. “And would you?”
Casey frowned. “Would I what?”
“Want to make out with me.” Alex snapped.
Casey wetted her lips, her lip lingering between her teeth as she stared at Alex. “I might be a little drunk but…definitely.” She walked to Alex slowly, stopping just in front of her. “Would you?” She whispered softly.
Alex’s breath hitched as she stared up at Casey. She knew she was tall, and probably the boots that Casey was wearing made her a little taller, and she herself was tall, but she loved the fact that she had to look up at Casey. She bit her lip for a moment as she thought about her answer; she knew she had to think fast, the seven minutes could end any time soon. She nodded softly as grinned, and suddenly Casey’s hands were on her waist, and she leaned down to close the gap between them. Alex’s hand went to Casey’s neck to pull her impossibly closer to her, their lips moving against each other’s just perfectly.
Before her mind could register what was happening, Casey was pulling her to her and turned her around to press Alex against the door, Alex moaning against Casey’s mouth which gave Casey’s tongue access to dive in. Alex’s hand got lost in Casey’s short her, pulling her impossibly closer. Casey’s hands rubbed Alex’s sides, accidentally making Alex’s blouse rise up and she took the chance to make contact with Alex’s skin. They finally broke from the kiss, both panted heavily, but as Alex opened her eyes to look at Casey, Casey’s lips landed on her jawline, throwing her head back against the door as a quiet moan left her lips. Casey trailed kisses down Alex’s jawline to her neck, kissing and nibbling softly, she then looked up again to kiss Alex again, and just as her hand traveled down Alex’s hip, a loud knock on the door made them part away from each other.
“Seven minutes are over guys! Get your clothes on!”
Alex panted heavily as she looked at the door for a moment and then her eyes returned to Casey. She couldn’t help but chuckle at herself as she figured she was now part of those horny teenagers she was judging when she got to the party. Casey ran her hand through her hair as she grinned, looking down at the floor as she tried to hide the redness on her cheeks.
“We should uh-“ Alex cleared her throat as she fixed her blouse. “We should probably…”
Casey nodded. “Yes.” She chuckled as she looked up at Alex. “We should go back.”
Alex nodded, offering a shy smile. As she turned to open the door, she felt Casey’s hand on her wrist, bringing her attention back to Casey. Casey’s hand went to Alex’s neck and pulled her close to her, kissing her lips slowly and tenderly, as if they had all the time in the world. Their lips once again met in a perfect rhythm, making Alex’s stomach turn in a good way. Casey then smiled against her lips, pecking them once more before she pulled away.
“Now we can leave.” Casey grinned.
Alex nodded. “Sure.” She breathed out as she smiled, accepting Casey’s hand in hers.
Alex felt everyone’s eyes on her as they walked down the stairs, but her eyes were only focused on Casey. Casey never let go of her hand, walking back to the kitchen, both quietly deciding that they didn’t want to be involved in the game anymore. Alex tried to find Erin for a moment before she brought her attention back to Casey, smiling softly.
“I’ll get you something to drink.” Casey smiled.
“Can I just get some water, please?” Alex smiled.
Casey nodded. “Sure. I need to sober up a little.” She chuckled as she kissed Alex’s hand before she went to find more cups.
Alex sighed happily as she watched Casey moving around the kitchen. The smile never leaving her smile as she leaned against the countertop, but her moment was interrupted as she felt a hand on her shoulder, making her turn thinking that it was maybe Erin. And then she frowned as she found the girl she had been previously jealous of right in front of her.
“Hi?” Alex offered a small smile.
“You really think you got Casey just because you got seven minutes in a room with her? You’re not Casey’s type. We know who you are, Cabot.”
Alex frowned as she shook her head. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“You’re daddy’s girl. I’m sure you’re in school just because of your last name, and if you think you’re gonna get Casey, you’re very wrong. I might’ve let Casey have her fun tonight, but she’s normally always with me. Casey belongs to me.”
“I can definitely tell. Because she’s been with you the whole party, huh?” Alex raised her brow, giving her a defying stare as she crossed her arms.
The girl laughed as she shook her head. “Just because your friend dressed you up for tonight and you got read of your glasses, doesn’t mean you can take Casey. Didn’t you hear? She was supposed to get your attention, a bet was made.”
Alex frowned. “What?”
“Oh, you really think Casey was interested in you? Please. Look at you and look at her. Gotta say that you left it pretty easy for her to win the bet. So congrats to you too. Maybe if Casey chooses, she’ll give you half of the money, but you don’t need it, do you?” The girl smirked as she walked away.
Alex suddenly felt lightheaded as the words played in her mind over and over; she had to be lying. Casey wouldn’t do that. All this time, all those meetings they had, Casey inviting her here, being so sweet and kind even if she’s not fully sober. Did she really do this for a bet? Was she just being nice to win some money? She had to be joking, this was definitely a lie. But…it also made sense at the same time. The sudden interest in Alex, wanting her help to study even if she didn’t need it, her inviting her to the party, and coincidentally the bottle landing in them while she was distracted. They had planned this. She had fallen in Casey’s game. The thought made her feel sick to her stomach.
“Alex?” Casey placed her hand on Alex’s shoulder to get her attention. “You okay?”
Alex took a deep breath as she looked back at Casey, her eyes getting teary. “How much?”
Casey frowned. “What?”
“How much…was the bet?” Alex snapped, trying to hold back her tears as she stared at Casey.
Casey shook her head as she looked at Alex, confused. “I don’t…what bet?”
Alex scoffed. “I knew it was too good to be truth.” She grinned. “You, suddenly taking interest in someone like me. You also believe I’m nothing more than my name, right? Was it fun, Casey? To drag me into your stupid high school game so you could get some money?”
Casey placed the cups on the counter and looked back at Alex. “Alex, what are you talking about? I don’t think that. I-“
“Save it, Casey. I knew this was way too good to be truth. But don’t worry, the bet ended the moment you took me to the room, right? So whatever this was, ends here. I don’t wanna see you again.” Alex gave her a cold look before she walked away from Casey.
Casey frowned as she tried to follow Alex. “Alex! Wait!”
Just as Alex was walking to the door, she ran into Erin who was just coming down from the stairs, her laugh died the moment she saw the look on Alex’s face. “Alex?”
“Let’s go. P-Please.” Alex cried out.
Erin’s heart sank as she turned and saw Casey trying to get to them. “Let’s go.” She placed her hand on Alex’s back and they both walked out of the house as fast as they could. Leaving behind a confused Casey.
The whole ride back to Alex’s apartment was quiet, Alex staring at the window as she quietly cried, her arms wrapped around herself. Erin kept checking on her but decided to save her words, she knew Alex needed a moment to process whatever had happened back there. There had only been one time that she had seen Alex this way, and she thought she would never see her like this again, so it broke her heart. As they made their way to Alex’s apartment, Alex let out a heavy sigh and opened the door, letting Erin walk in first, followed by Alex. She closed the door behind her and leaned her head against it, her whole body shaking as she cried once again. Erin dropped her bag and walked to Alex, wrapping her in a tight hug as Alex sobbed, turning to vanish in her arms.
“Lex, what happened?” Erin whispered softly.
“I-“ Alex sobbed as she shook her head. “I was an idiot.”
Erin pulled away enough to look at Alex. “Did Casey did something to you?”
Alex looked at Erin at the mention of Casey, feeling her heart breaking even more. “I was a bet.”
Erin frowned. “What?”
“That bitch…the one I saw Casey with…she told me that there was a bet, and that’s why the sudden interest in me. I knew it was too good to be truth, Erin. I just knew it.” Alex cried out, covering her face.
Erin sighed loudly. “Lex, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I let myself fall.” Alex sobbed as she shook her head. “Why did this happen?” She whispered softly.
“I don’t know.” Erin kissed her head softly as she wrapped her in another hug.
********************
Alex walked through the hallway to get to her classroom, feeling like everyone was staring at her and were laughing at her. She was sure that half of the school already knew what had happened back there, and it now made sense why all of them were cheering for them to go upstairs. They were cheering for Casey to win the fucking bet and she was so proud of it. She played it so well that she was so ashamed of herself for not seeing it, focusing on how sweet, kind, and beautiful she was, it never crossed her mind that she could do this to Alex. After all, her assumption of Casey wasn’t entirely wrong. She was indeed a heartbreaker. Her trance was interrupted as she ran into someone, almost losing her balance and making her books fall to the floor.
“I’m sorry!”
Alex knelt to pick them up but the person in front of her got them before her, making her look up to find Casey in front of her. “It’s fine.” She snapped as she stood up, followed by Casey.
Casey handed her the books and nibbled on her lip for a moment. “Alex…”
“Save it.” Alex snapped as she looked at Casey for a moment before she walked away.
Casey sighed loudly as she kept walking. This was truly a nightmare for her. The fact that Alex really had believed everything that Rachel had dared to say hurt her and made her a bit upset, but she understood where Alex was coming from. The moment she laid eyes on Alex, she knew she was completely fucked, not being able to take her eyes away until she realized she was being a creep. For months she just stared at Alex and tried her best to always be the one taking their order. She cursed herself once she realized that she had gotten Alex’s order wrong the first time, so she learned it for her, and was happy whenever Alex showed up at the coffee shop. Taking a chance to talk to her had been a real challenge, thinking that Alex would completely push her away and ignore her, but was happy once she realized Alex might be interested in her too. But now, that was all gone.
Erin walked into the coffee shop and looked around, trying to find Casey who was behind the counter. She walked to her and leaned over the counter. “Can I talk to you?”
Casey looked up from her notebook and nodded. “I’m taking five!” She walked to the back door and walked to Erin, sitting with her at a table in the corner. “Erin-“
“What the fuck were you thinking? Are you seriously in middle school to make a fucking bet with my best friend?” Erin snapped, not giving Casey a chance to speak.
“Let me explain.” Casey sighed. “There was no bet. There never was.”
Erin frowned. “What?”
Casey bit her lip as she tried to hold back tears. “I never had the intention of hurting Alex. Everything I did, I did it because I wanted to. Because I had been looking at Alex for so long and I took my chance.” She shook her head as she looked at Erin. “I was never involved in any bet. Rachel was jealous when she found out I was into Alex. She’s-“ She scoffed. “She was fucking childish. I’m too old to do those fucking bets. I like Alex. I never meant to hurt her, or even take advantage of her.”
Erin sighed as she leaned back in the chair. “Well, shit.” She shook her head. “I knew Rachel was no good.”
Casey scoffed. “She thinks she can get whatever she wants.” She shook her head as she looked down at her hands. “And now Alex hates me.”
“She’s hurt, Casey.” Erin shrugged. “She really believed every word Rachel told her. Alex…she overthinks. She has anxiety. She couldn’t get in her head why you would be interested in her.”
Casey sighed. “But you believe me, right?” She looked back at Erin.
Erin offered a small smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone being so consistent with Alex. The way you two look at each other…nothing I had ever seen.” She shrugged. “I love Alex. But I believe you. And you gotta make this right, Casey.”
Casey nodded. “I know. But…she hasn’t been here in two weeks.”
“I can give you her address.” Erin shrugged. “She’ll probably kill me but…I hate seeing Alex so sad.”
Casey smiled. “I’d be forever thankful.”
Erin grinned. “And I thought this shit only happened in movies.” She got a piece of paper out of her bag along with a pen. “Our classes end at 4 pm. She should be home by 5 pm.” She handed it to Casey. “And you know better than to fuck this up, Casey.”
Casey nodded. “I know.”
********************
Alex groaned as she walked to the door. “Erin, I told you I wanted stay in today. I’m tired of you coming at this hour and trying-“ her voice died down as she opened the door and saw that it was not Erin.
“I’m…sorry. I just ended my shift, and I…couldn’t come earlier.” Casey offered a shy smile.
Alex shook her head. “What are you doing here?”
Casey sighed. “You’ve been avoiding me. And I want to talk to you.”
Alex scoffed. “Casey…seriously. We’re old enough to do this and-“
“And then you know I’m old enough to be doing some stupid things as getting involved in a high school bet.” Casey snapped.
Alex stared at her for a moment and sighed softly, stepping aside as she let Casey walk in. “Come on in.” She whispered softly.
“Thanks.” Casey said softly as she walked into the apartment. She turned to look at Alex and smiled a bit as she noticed she had never seen Alex dressing so comfortably.
Alex closed the door and turned to look at Casey, frowning. “What?”
Casey looked down at her hands as she smiled. “You uh…you look really cute.”
Alex tried to hide her smile as she crossed her arms. “Can I offer you a drink?”
“Are we switching roles now?” Casey grinned.
Alex couldn’t help but grin slightly. “Case…”
“I never meant to hurt you, Alex.” Casey said almost in a whisper. “There was never a bet.”
Alex sighed as she looked down at the floor. “Why should I believe you?” She then looked back up at Casey.
“Because I don’t lie.” Casey shook her head. “I know better than to lie. And I never once lied to you. I…” she scoffed. “Everything that Rachel said, it was all a lie. She was jealous. She hated the fact that I was falling for you, and that I was trying to get your attention, and I-“
“You’re falling for me?” Alex frowned.
Casey stared at Alex with wide eyes. “I- Alex. I uh-“ she cleared her throat. “I just-“
“Who’s nervous now?” Alex grinned.
Casey huffed a laugh. She looked at her hands for a moment and nibbled on her lip. “I really didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t take you to the room because they were going to pay me.” She smiled shyly as she looked back at Alex. “Tina noticed you were distracted, everyone was drunk. I moved the bottle.”
Alex raised her brows, a smirk appeared on her face. “Makes sense.”
Casey laughed softly. “I was scared that you’d reject me. I didn’t want to take advantage of you. I just…really wanted to kiss you.” She smiled.
Alex tilted her head. “So no bet?”
Casey shook her head. “No bet. And yes…I am falling for you, since the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted to do anything in my power to get your attention.”
Alex smiled sadly, looking down again at the floor. “I really believed her.”
Casey walked slowly to Alex, her fingers going under her chin to make Alex look up at her, smiling softly as she fixed Alex’s glasses. “You look beautiful without glasses but…I really like to see you with them.”
Alex blushed slightly as she smiled. “You should be upset that I snapped at you, and that I didn’t believe you.”
“That’s childish. We’re both old enough for those games.” Casey grinned. “I’m sorry, Alex. I really am. But if you give me the chance…I want to make things right. I want to take you on a date.”
“You’re cheesy.” Alex smirked.
“And you like that, don’t you? It’s the type of thing you only see in movies.” Casey chuckled softly as she placed her hands on Alex’s neck.
“Yes. I want you to go on a date with you.” Alex smiled, placing her hands on Casey’s waist, and leaning in to kiss her lips softly.
Casey smiled for a moment against her lips, but brought their lips back together, the same butterflies as the first time showing up in her stomach.
“Cabot being the good girl and Novak being the tomboy.” Munch laughed along with Fin.
Alex rolled her eyes. “We stuck with our roles.” She smirked as she looked at Casey.
Casey shrugged. “And we made it work perfectly, even now after all these years.” She smiled as she leaned in and kissed Alex’s cheek, fixing her glasses. “Only took a date to have her wrapped around my finger.”
“Oh, says the one that was the cheesiest of the both of us. Bringing me chocolate croissants with my coffee, flowers almost every week, prepared unexpected dates.” Alex smirked.
“And you loved those. And still do.” Casey leaned in to peck her lips.
“Just get married already.” Elliot teased as he took a sip of his drink.
“This is really out of a movie, you two are too cliché.” Olivia chuckled as she looked at them.
“We wouldn’t want it any other way.” Alex grinned as she chuckled, rolling her eyes at the teasing.
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sunshowerwriting · 3 days
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solstice
vincent x david (redacted audio)
words
being moon bound during a summer solstice was never fun, but vincent was having an especially bad time. luckily for him, david was here to help.
vincent may be a tad out of character, so sorry in advance if he sounds a little weird!
requested by: @broke-art-girl
lowercase intended. not proofread.
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solstices were never easy. especially summer solstices when you were moon bound. david and vincent knew this all too well. they had both gone through many solstices before they started dating, and this wasnt even their first together. that didnt change how much they sucked though.
vincent was having an especially bad time. if you asked him today, he would absolutely say this was the worst hes felt in his entire (undead) life. he was hot, he had a headache, his whole body was achy, and worst of all he was so hungry that he thought he was going to die of starvation at any moment.
perhaps he was being a tad dramatic, but he certainly didnt feel good.
he thought he was alone in his home. he was simply going to suffer in his nice plush bed, withering away to nothing and perhaps quietly crying to himself until sleep overtook him. that wasnt the case however. in his moment of pain and discomfort vincent must have missed the door to his home opening and a familiar wolf entering.
vincents lack of awareness bit him in the back when his bedroom door opened, making the vampire jolt upright with all of the strength he could muster. even in his current state there is no way he was going to go down without a fight. luckily for him there was nothing to worry about and the “intruder” was a much more welcome guest than he initially thought.
“david?” vincent said quietly.
“jumpy much?”
david gave a strained smile, clearly dealing with his own issues this solstice. the smile was appreciated though and vincent slowly started to calm down from his previous state of panic.
“what are you doing here?” vincent asked.
david shrugged, kicking off his shoes and coming to sit next to vincent.
“thought we could both use the company on a day like this.”
at the response, vincent flopped back against his bed, looking anywhere but david. his previous discomfort was coming back quickly, but now with david here there was an added layer. dont get me wrong, vincent was happy for the company, misery loves company and all that. but his hunger was starting to overtake him, and even though his senes were not the best on the solstice david was starting to smell like quite the treat.
out of the corner of his eye, vincent saw david raise an eyebrow at him. vincent huffed and raised his own eyebrow at david.
“what?”
“are you alright?” david asked as gently as he could muster.
vincent made a displeased noise. “as alright as i can be given the circumstances.”
“well obviously. but it seems like its more than that.”
vincent sighed. david was bound to know one way or the other. he might as well come clean now. his very tasty partner could possibly help even. one way or the other.
“the solstice is kicking my ass… and… i havent eaten in a while so-“
vincents words were cut off with a displeased noise from david.
“take a bite.”
he spoke quickly, adjusting his shirt so vincent could get a better angle of his neck.
“you dont have to do this, i know the solstice has gotta be kicking your ass too.”
“it wasnt a request.”
with a very brief pause for vincent to contemplate this decision, he say up and buried his face into the werewolf’s neck.
“thank you david.”
with his quiet mumble vincent sunk his fangs into the other mans neck. the taste of his blood was enough to make the vampire go mad and for once on this horrible day a feeling of comfort washed over him.
davids hands came to rest on vincents back comfortingly. weather it was for his or vincents comfort was unknown but they stayed like that, holding each other for much longer than was necessary for vincent to feed.
more than just getting a drink from his lover, the comfort of being in each others arms was enough to make this day just a bit better.
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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Love characterising nishikiyama as a booze hound drug hound meth addict high every day body mass 75% alcohol hands constantly shaking literally spacing out while driving fifty over the speed limit using elderly folk as speedbumps one hand on the wheel and one hand free to do more drugs and coming into work while functionally deaf and blind and he is still leagues more competent at his job than kiryu
#Yakuza loveblog#i dont talk about nishikiyama enough because im kazamapilled and hate him a little bit but im also kiryupilled and love him so much so you#see my problem? like i adore when nishiki is just. better in every way than kiryu and nobody ever sees that because theyre all too busy#sucking kiryus cock like okay nishiki had the rest of his life planned out when he was twenty and he was an extremely successful criminal#and getting himself noticed in many many circles then kiryu steps outside and gets into a street fight immediately and the entire tojo clan#surrounds him to throw cash at him like nishiki was actually doing so well for himself before his life was ruined. nothing is his fault#like i love just accepting that nishiki has one hell of a substance abuse problem and nobody cares enough about him to talk to him about it#and kiryu thinks its normal because hes the only one who can see that nishikis doing some great work out there so he must be doing#everything right. inconceivable that nishiki has any sort of ‘problem’ hes the real screwup and kiryu knows he makes life harder for himself#but he refuses to change because hes convinced that thats the only thing hes good at. like i believe that nishiki has a coke snorting#mechanic in game like harry db and without his coke buff he cant do as much damage like with it his output is on par with kiryus whos just#been blessed since birth by the violence gods. anyway kiryu is the only person in the world who thinks that nishiki is great do you get it#nishiki has lived his entire life in kiryus shadow and he doesnt care that kiryu has a natural charisma that he will never have. he has to#get out there every single day networking and socialising and hustling and nonstop landing interviews with cool magazines to get his name#out in the world while kazama takes kiryu out and drags him by the elbow to meet people like this is my son kiryu who has every disease and#everyone claps and cheers like i cannot stress enough how on top of the game nishiki is compared to kiryu. he has a car. kiryu doesnt even#have his own lighter. they are not on the same playing field and yet nishikis always trailing behind him because opportunity is always#knocking at kiryus doorstep whether he likes it or not and nishiki gets fed scraps and nothing else and hes the one with ambition he wants#the view on top and most importantly he wanted his brother there with him but nobody ... likes him ... nobody likes nishiki nobodys in his#corner he onky had kiryu and when he lost him it was quite literally him against the world. it always made me laugh how at the end of yk1#harukas paying her respects at nishikis grave when the only time he ever cared about her was because he wanted her little pendant and he#(actually fucked how alone nishiki was he didnt even have his own fucking men to rely on he was basically working alone with someone he knew#was using him like ??? he was fucking desperate) anyway i really love to think that kiryu being nishikis only friend and the last person in#the world who thought kindly of him (barring like ... kashiwagi) was grieving terribly over his death and haruka being a sensitive and#sweet little girl took the initiative to ask about nishiki and i think kiryu would tell her stories every night of the kind of stuff he and#nishikiyama would get up to when they were her age. he would tell her how amazing nishiki was and how he always looked out for him how he#took care of his sister and how he would always be the one to remind them of impending birthdays and the like. nishiki cared about the#little things .. and he made kiryu want to care about them too but theres just something different between them because nishikis always#been a better person than him .. and he would tell haruka in a voice that sounded like he was begging her to understand that nishiki wasnt a#bad person.. though he did bad things he was a good man and he still wishes with all his heart that he could have done more to save him ...
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jemmo · 1 year
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no you don’t understand. bad buddy ep 5 is like an ever-present black hole in my life threatening at all times to suck me in. like i have to actively make myself not think about it otherwise i will plummet head first into a void of emotions so overwhelming i will not escape.
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holyviolence · 2 months
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omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.
#literally thank goodness my brother was here to like Perfectly describe in real time what happens to adhd people when they go to college for#the first time. there's less structure and you fall apart. i used that as an opportunity.#i've slowly slowly slowly been chipping away at my Entire family btw. i've finally convinced my dad that medication is a GOOD THING.#i said You know. there's a lot in life that you feel like you Have to live with. but being on meds has made life so much easier and happier.#and that's when my dad finally said it.#:^) sometimes i like..... think about my family and how complicated i feel because growing up was super tough with all of them but now they#are all better people..... and i can't help but feel proud because as much as it is ABSOLUTELY great job for THEM for getting there But i#also feel uhhh partly responsible because i was constantly calling them out for shit. not always in the best way#but always standing up for others and challenging them on their worldviews and just casually talking about more liberal (as in free. not#politically) things. yes i do feel like if it wasn't for me my family would be worse people#i KNOW one of my brothers would be because he literally told me so. and it makes me happy. it is proof that my life is worthy and i have a#good impact on the world. it doesn't have to be a big thing i do to change things..... because i believe in the Ripple Effect#my dad is a teacher and he uses the proper pronouns for his trans students without complaint now. that has a good impact on SO many people#the trans students and their classmates who hear their teacher respect them. my brother is no longer homophobic he's bi lol and#if i hadn't argued with him about what bisexuality meant bc he was Wrong when i was 18 and he was 16... i wonder....#my younger sister is one of the nicest kids i've ever met and i partly raised her. it feels great to see her be such a good kid#her best friend is a trans girl and when she first came out my sister was one of two people in their class who still wanted to be#her friend.#idk. just inspires me to keep being the best person i can be & always do what's right even if it makes people mad#bc no one can hurt me as much as my family has traumatized me (lol) and look what happened to them!! i didn't give up! and i see real change
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I think it should be illegal for people to bring up Jack or Ben as an example why Dean wouldn't be a good dad forever because it's annoying to me personally
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scorchedhearth · 2 years
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trying to find canon stories or fanwork that touches upon guy's TBI is like walking through a baren wasteland. most barely acknowledge it, and when they do it's just a one-liner or for a joke which. You Know.
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clericlost · 2 years
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thinking about writing up my will + ocd headcanon today instead of doing drafts :/ stay tuned
#out.#i have so many thoughts about it and it will probably be paragraphs long but it makes too much sense to me#given ALL of will's personal arcs down to minute details it just... yeah#it's so much about.. reclaiming his mind and body for himself yes but he can also get so paranoid#like. the mind flayer literally made him start forgetting everything about himself and his loved ones. his entire life#on top of highjacking his body#the stabilty of verifying reality becomes essential to his peace of mind. less so over time but Especially after s2#unreality //#but then they Move to another state and everything changes and none of them are good but how far away he is from the upsiedown#but major symptoms would've started way back in s1 after the upsidedown first snatched him up#cleanliness and textures are a big concern when some monster put a tentacle down your throat#idk my brain is disintegrating rn but consider this a heads up on my portrayal bc#i've been ruminating on it since throwing this blog together but didn't want yet another one of my muses to have ocd lmao#but it just makes too much sense to me and has been Hovering over this blog like a backseat driver#to be clear i the mun have only struggled w intrusive thoughts / Very few compulsions on and off but do not have ocd#i've researched to varying degrees over like a decade thanks to my brother likely having it + having an oc back in the day w it#but i in no way am an expert and will be doing my best to portray it and things like this as respectfully as possible
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We have work days usually on Friday to work on whatever upcoming assignments we have due. I have a lot of costume work (mostly detailing) left for me and theoretically I want everything done by like 3 and I get out of class at 2. Tomorrow is Friday. Which might be a work day for my only class. All of my upcoming assignments r done. I could show up (which would get me out of bed dressed and moving) and then if it’s a work day leave for my costume. This is a very good idea actually I will be doing this
#shoutout to tumblr text posts for cohesiving my thoughts once again#i am. so tired. I’ve been up since 9 took a nap from 5-7 and never really woke up :/#even tho I had so much caffeine!!! no fair!!!!#thank god for my old scene partner friend who had an arts and crafts project and did it at my place or else I probably would’ve never#worker on the costume nearly as much as I did. i got the crafts apartment#me and my hot glue gun against the world. fun fact! that hot glue gun graduated with me from high school bc I took it from the prop room#i did run props. i was the sole person who knew what was in there therefore I got to pick an object to graduate with#i picked my favorite pink hot glue gun and letter opener <3#also. i swear I have spent like the entire last 2 weeks with my old scene partner and our friend#it’s also weird calling him my old scene partner bc like. he and I r very good friends now but also people earn a title in my life#and it rarely changes. and I’d say my only college friend. but he brought one of his friends around enough that we are also friends now so#it’s inaccurate. i wouldn’t say best friend bc that’s a cursed title for me. there’s nothing else that fits. but old scene partner takes#so many characters and I only get 100 per tag lol that’s the real reason it feels inaccurate. very interesting though bc like#bestie cares about me?? and not passively?? he actively cares about me?? i also learned that I am apparently his closest friend I thought#our friend in common was out closest friend. also I showed a human emotion once. and it was a very interesting dynamic change#i come off as way cold and I think he may have genuinely thought I didn’t care much which isnt true at all I doubt I would’ve came back this#year if he wasn’t here. but ever since bestie has like. agreed to anything I ask him to do?? he went to spirit Halloween with me#he hates Halloween. all holidays actually. he keeps staying up late with me even though he doesn’t like doing that??#genuinely so confused bc I’ve never had a friend in person care about me this much it keeps catching me off guard#also he goes out of his way to make sure I’m comfortable which is another thing i have never experienced in my life#he is probably one of the best friends I have ever had. idk what to do about it#especially considering after this April I won’t ever see him again. and I’ll almost assuredly lose contact with him. it’s weird to think abt#soup talks
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mrfoox · 2 years
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Just remembered how after my autistic diagnose every offical person was so careful to approach me about it at first. I know that's probably standard bc not everyone will like those news or know how to handle it but I legit just had doctors go 'hey... So... Are you okay? How do you feel?' and I was like 'haha, nice, so I haven't just been faking/now I know why I'm so different'
#miranda talking shit#And i mean... I wouldnt be diagnosed at all if i didnt personally call for it. I wouldn't have been able to see anyone unless i brought it#Up. Bc ive always been good at masking no one even considerd i was on the spectrum. And it wasnt until i got friends who was diagnosed and#Discussed it with me and their experiences + me reading up on it myself ... Where i was like wait uh ... Actually lol that's me haha#But i know plenty of people probably don't like to get the diagnosis. For me personally it was 90% a gopd thing#It felt a lot like... Ive always known i was 'diffrent' and ive always felt something was so wrong with me bc i didny work like other peope#And then it was like .... No im different but this is the thing that makes me different and its not something 'wrong' with me#For me it felt very freeing to get i guess a label or name on why im different. Before iy was all just... On me?#Like it was my own fault. Why couldnt i do this or just act normal why couldnt i just handle things others could? It all felt very. ...#Personal. Like it was my own fault ? Idk man. It was just great to get a reason to why i was diffrent and that it actually ... Made sense?#There were reasons behind why i got so overwhelmed or behaved weirdly etc yeah#My relationship with my own autism is the weirdest shit ever bc i dont personally think there's many positives with this diagnose#I can think of 10 cons per 1 pro basically but i also... Never had any bad feelings about getting it on paper that i have it?#I know my life would be much easier if i didnt have it. But i also know it cant be cured and is just part of me so#I have a fairly good or at least neatrul general feeling about it. Before i was diagnosed I'd cry and have breakdowns as to#Why i was so weird and why i couldnt be like everyone else. I got that on an weekly basis. After my diagnose? Very rarely.#I guess thats why im so... Supporting and maybe pushing others who think they are on the spectrum to check it out#Many will think oh but it doesnt DO anything. It doesnt change anything. It doesnt help to get it on paper ya know ?#And well yeah i guess technically that's true but man idk. If you have ever felt alienated like ive been my entire childhood and teen years#Getting the diagnose was so nice. And i got to learn about myself in much different ways than before. And understand that i am in fact not#Alone and not so misunderstood by everyone on earth lol.#@anyone who think they might be autistic give me an message and lets talk tbh if you want and need someone to discuss that with#Autism tag
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staggeringsmite · 2 years
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bitter diabetic thought soup
#it's me again about to make the enzymes in my pancrea everyone else's problem too <3#anyway it sucks to have psych meds that are life-changing for me that specifically effect my appetite#bc then schedule becomes even more important which good news! improves on said meds and bad news! gets worse when sudden adjustments have#to be made!! anyway today was. not great. for me health wise. and on that note i always feel the need to be so defensive about having my#blood sugar in check like it's some moral failure of me not to when!!! sometimes it's not! sometimes it's high!! sometimes that's not good!#when i feel bad from blood sugar stuff that's not healthy!! but health is sometimes not 100% achieveable and i know i am feeling this on#such a smaller scale compared to other illnesses but it makes me want to scream of course i Want to be healthy and i Try My Best but#the fact is the natural state of my body is not one of health. there is a genetic issue here that makes a baseline state of health and#comfort in my body something that i have to put thought into every fucking day and even if that thought it minimal it's an extra step to#get somewhere some people are just born having pre-taken care of for them#idk man maybe it's just me maybe i just don't know any other diabetics who are my age/have the same type as me (because it's so fucking#understudied and underdiagnosed) and i don't even know if i'm going to say this in a way that makes sense but it feels like 'diabetes'#is not a condition that is in any way considered impactful in daily life and my suspicion is that because it's so fucking common if more#consideration were given to how it affects people more accomodation and understanding would be expected for it and we#simply can't have that now can we (i think. if i am not entirely in left field on this. this is true of a lot of common chronic conditions#but i obviously can't speak to any others#i just feel like we downplay literally so many chronic health issues that the negative impacts on daily life get kinda neutralized#because whenever i actually walk through the fact that i have to think so hard about food all the time i realize oh. well. how exhausting#it is and how much more prone to disordered eating i have been since diagnosis because of it#anyway just currently in a state of being really fucking done with talking about my diabetes and having my reflex response anytime i say#anything about it to be 'oh it's not that bad!! i have my sugar under control!' like i am a bad person if it's not under control for#something i was quite literally born with and tends to be unpredictable and my doctor literally knows so little about in actuality because#again. highly understudied. : ))))))))#idk what this was i'm just feeling grrrr about being diabetic for specific reasons right now#personal
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cocklessboy · 3 months
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The other day I told a friend of mine that I never forget to take my ADHD meds because I fucking love my ADHD meds. I'm in my late 30s, I didn't finally get a diagnosis and meds until less than two years ago, and they have changed my entire life.
And he raised his eyebrow at me. We'd been discussing addictive medications a few minutes before, like the Tramadol I finally got from the pain specialist to take once a week or so to give me a break from my chronic pain, so I reassured him that methylpenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) is not addictive (at least not in people with ADHD).
His response? To raise his eyebrow even harder and say "Well it sure SOUNDS like it's addictive!"
And I had to explain to this man - who works in a healthcare related job by the way - that just because medication makes you feel good and helps you, just because you look forward to taking it, that doesn't make it addictive or dangerous. And he wasn't convinced.
The simple fact that I was excited to take a daily pill that has literally changed my life, after decades of fighting to get that medication, made him think I shouldn't be taking it so often. That it must inherently be dangerous.
I'm not even in America, but I'm pretty sure this attitude began there and then spread over here to Europe. This Puritan idea of "if something feels good, you must beware of it. Pleasure is dangerous, it is sinful, it is addiction, it is evil."
I know too many people who subconsciously believe that pleasure = addictive = dangerous = bad. Joy is a slippery slope to hell.
So here is your reminder for today that you don't need to be afraid of feeling good. If something improves your life, use it. Even if it is addictive - learn what that addiction means, whether the addiction is inherently dangerous or not, and whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and risks.
My ADHD meds are, in fact, not addictive. But I will take them every day because they make my life orders of magnitude easier. I will enjoy them every time I take them.
My tramadol is addictive. I will still take it. I will keep it on a schedule to avoid becoming addicted, primarily because addiction in this case would mean reduced effectiveness. But I am not afraid of my painkillers. They are life changing.
Take your meds, everyone. Don't let anyone scare you away from doing something that improves your life.
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gyudons · 7 months
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despicable
updates as of 22 oct
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Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.
“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.
“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”
“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.
“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”
As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.
“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.
“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.
“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”
It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.
“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.
“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.
“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”
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simonrileysfavteacup · 2 months
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The Morning After
Paring: Simon "Ghost" Riley x wife!reader
Word count: 700 ish?
Warnings: Mentions to sex, hickeys, naked people, Simon wanting you for breakfast
Summary: The morning after a steamy night.
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Sunlight creeps in through the curtains you never closed last night. The curtains fly around the room, pushed by the daring wind. The window’s are still open, letting in the chirps of birds outside. The wind pushes a breeze around the room and you shiver.
You’re laying on your right shoulder. There’s a heavy arm that isn’t yours draped across your waist. There’s a head tucked into the crook of your neck. There’s another forearm underneath your head. There’s someone’s heavy breathing going straight into your neck. You can feel a bit of stubble. You can feel hair, long, soft hair. You can feel a strong chest against your back. All of it is memorized in your mind.
And there’s only one person in the whole world who’s body you know inch by inch. 
You squint as you open your eyes, the sunlight almost killing you. The duvet is all messed up, barely covering your tangled bodies. His right arm is underneath your head, draped off your side of the bed. His grip on your waist is loose, he’s still asleep. His breathing is even, you can feel it. 
You push yourself out of bed slightly, making a move to shut the window and close the curtains. He grabs onto your waist tightly and pulls you back into the position you were in before. His voice is raspy, almost not even there, as he says, “Five more minutes.”
It should be illegal. His voice. His hair. His chest slowly falling and rising. It should be illegal to look this fucking good in the morning.
“Just wanna close the window,” You reply, keeping your voice hushed. 
“Who gives a shit?” He pulls the duvet higher over you, covering your naked body from the wind. “There. Now, give me 10 more minutes.”
His hand goes back to your waist, covering the soft maroon and purple bruises that formed throughout the night. 
So, you lay back down, take in a deep breath, and try to fall asleep. 
At least an hour goes by before you finally wake up again. Your position hasn’t changed and Simon’s hold on your waist is loose again. You finally move, getting up from bed. He doesn’t pull you back this time, but rolls over. He lets out a groan. “Oh, shut up, you big baby. I gave you more than 10 minutes.”
He doesn’t respond. Just lets out another groan, but louder and longer.
You grab the shirt he wore last night, the one he threw into a random corner of the room, more focused on your body. You toss it into the hamper. His pants and boxers are thankfully close enough to the hamper, yours nowhere to be found. Guess he was a little too excited.
You walk into the bathroom, getting a fine look at yourself in the mirror.
Hickeys and the traces of fingertips line your neck and chest, your hips and legs are covered, and I mean covered, in bruises. On both sides of your hips are marks of large, muscular hands. The marks are red, and it doesn’t look like it’ll all fade in the next hour. You turn slightly, getting a look at your back. Your ass is marked the same way your hips are, with large hand prints, your back thankfully okay. 
“You’re hurt,” Simon’s voice is barely above a whisper as he stares at you from the bed. 
This happens every time he leaves a mark on you. He turns cold again, becoming distant in fear of hurting you again. Every single time. It takes so many words of encouragement to get him to open up again, assuring him it didn’t hurt. 
“They’ll fade,” You shrug.
“I hurt you,” He whispers. 
“No, you didn’t. Last night was probably one of the best nights of my entire life, love. Don’t you dare think I’m in any sort of pain or anything. I’m fine,” You smile at him. “And I left a fair share of marks on you. Look at your back.”
He lets out a soft chuckle, looking over at you again. “Promise?”
“Swear on my life,” You smile. “You want breakfast?”
“Mhm,” He hums, walking over to you and kneeling in front of you. “It’s already served.” Are his last words before diving in between your legs.
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kedreeva · 4 months
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Today in measuring your peahen, Bug is casually 2 foot, 3 inches tall (she can stretch a little taller when she REALLY wants a treat). This is just tall enough to see over a tray table and pull things off of nightstands and end cabinets.
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Bug is also a little over 3 feet long from tail tip to beak tip. Most of Bug is made up of tail and neck. There is a 6lb dead weight in the middle somewhere that she knows how to directly place onto the ball of one foot while standing on you.
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Bug's wingspan is around 3.5 feet, thought I didn't get a measurement. It will be over 4 feet as an adult.
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Bug is growing in her spurs. As a Spalding (hybrid) hen, Bug will likely have one inch bone knives conveniently attached to her tarsometatarsus. This is technically fused foot bones, not a leg bone. Curiously, pure Pavo cristatus hens have spurs, and pure Pavo muticus hens have spurs, but many domestic Pavo cristatus and low-percent Spalding hens lack them. This is one of the indications of domestication in the cristatus species. As I prefer the wild type, I prefer my hens spurred, so this is a good sign!
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Bug's toes measure a smidge over 5 inches from the tip of her rear-facing to to the tip of her longest front facing toe. Try measuring that on your hand.
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Bug's nails measure 1/2-3/4 an inch long, depending on the toe. That's almost as long as one finger section for most people.
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When I had snakes, I got asked all the time if I was afraid of them biting me. The answer is no. I have been bitten by a 6 foot long, 20lb boa constrictor, and have no scars to prove it. Meanwhile I have so many scars from peafowl sitting on me, particularly on my forearms, that I have had to reassure people I am not a danger to myself.
I post these photos as a reference, but also as a precaution. This is a BABY peafowl, and a female at that. She is only 6 months old and weighs a little over 6lbs, which means she's about 2/3 of the way grown, and adult hens are typically 3/4 the size of an adult male. These are BIG birds that can do a LOT of damage, even accidentally. When they become aggressive, as in the case of hand-raised males or poorly bred birds, they become a potentially fatal threat to any other fowl you have. Unlike chickens, they are more than capable of (and prone to!) jumping to human face level before they flog (kick with their feet in a way that allows their spurs to hit home), which means they could easily take out an eye or cause other serious facial injury if they get a lucky strike. I have seen more than a few people end up with stitches, and more than a few birds end up euthanized because people think they are gonna be cute cuddly friends.
I know that Bug is a cute bird, but I also want to stress that a) she has an outstanding personality as a result of breeding choices and socialization b) she hasn't hit maturity, and won't do so for another 2+ years, so her personality could change considerably still and c) I have been raising peafowl one way or another for my entire adult life, which has been structured around keeping them. I love my birds, and I would love for more people to keep peafowl as they are great animals, but they are not casual animals. They are large and potentially dangerous farm fowl that take a lot of space, care, and knowledge to keep.
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ffive-by-fivee · 1 year
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I miss London and I miss Paris and I miss LA and I miss Denver and I miss my new friends and I miss my grandpa and I miss my girl and I miss my best friend and I miss my other best friend and I miss being on a plane and I miss my band and I miss not having arthritis and I miss my old coworkers and I miss wn and I miss that feeling in my chest when I experience something beautiful for the first time and I miss
#SO many good and exciting things and beautiful trips coming up but going down memory lane rn#sometimes planning so many things at once can be overwhelming so I have to take a step back#like I am literally planning my dream trip rn and as exciting as it is#planning 14 days is taxing and I just want to be there already#also been itching for a major life change that allots me more flexibility and I might actually pull the trigger in the next like……18 months#idk we'll see#like I didn’t think I’d live this long so I’ve just been winging it#but I think I know what I want my life to look like now#or more so the feeling I know I want to feel#and I know the steps to get there#so now it’s just a matter of making it happen#shoutout to my therapist for teaching me that grief doesn’t shrink but that instead we grow around it#and my friends for holding my hand#and my partner for being patient#the world is massive and there’s so much to discover and to live for#and there’s love everywhere#and sometimes you have to admit to yourself that the way you love means that you will never let things go entirely#but carry them with you into the beautiful new phases of your life#and appreciate them for what they were but not allow them a seat at your present table#we can’t change what is#only what will be#this was my long winded way of saying that loss sucks but there’s a whole world out there#go see it#let it change you#and maybe things will come full circle in the end#I hope you’re well
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