#isn't something i can do
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it takes a really long time to unlearn but there's no such thing as "cheating" or "half-assing" being a person. if you need to leave the cabinet doors open, leave them open. microwave your tea. sit down in the shower. buy the eggmaker. use your phone to calculate tip.
it's mostly fake posterity rules. who cares if you microwave your dinners. who cares if you use instant coffee. who cares if you stop watching the show that got boring. we all have a different set of skills and a different life and taking care of yourself is fucking hard.
at the end of your life there will be no final scoreboard. nobody is going to judge you because you brushed your teeth in the shower. there will be no final count of the number of times you had the same meal five nights in a row. there will be no fanfare or party because you won at being a person - and no one will be disappointed that you never understood the point of using paper towels to dry your hands off after washing them.
yeah, in this world, people will put up a fuss. i've noticed some of the biggest fusses are over what you'll put in/on your body. the fact that i will regularly eat deli meat straight out of the bag makes a lot of people genuinely concerned for me. but here's the thing: sometimes that's the only way i'm getting any protein. my doctor says i am doing fine. i'm sticking to my weird snacks and calling it deconstructed charcuterie.
they'll say they're horrified because you take a shortcut. that's fine. it's just that it looks like a shortcut to them because they're on a different life path. these kinds of things stand out to them as important. that's fine too. but for you? you've got other things that already make you pretty hard working. and these tiny things - well, they're just clutter on your journey.
#before any motherfucker is like <3#''i know more about this and it IS WRONG to do this THING''#shhhhh#unless ur a doctor and a patient has specifically asked... shut the FUCK up dude#one of the ways my life has changed in the last few years is like#taking coffee for granted#isn't something i can do#can you stand up for the entirety of making a meal? i can't always#and having some pompousass person be like#MICROWAVE THE WATER? FOR TEA? like . yeah actually i've been in prison for it ever since#''it tastes different!!!'' cool. it's not going into yOUR body.#i personally don't ever make hot chocolate with water. only ever oat/soy milk#but i wouldn't be like ... SIR. I WILL NOW JUDGE THEE#it's just like ableism all the way down innit#ableism and classism and#the expectation of the mental load as a form of being ''good''#also. besides the like. pots and [redacted medical information]#im doing GREAT actually#>:) i have visible abs even when not flexing#it's bc god prefers me as a lesbian n has rewarded me lately for presenting more openly
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The musical episode.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#nie mingjue#Remember jin guangyao: If you do any treachery you will face the wrath of five horses.#When are the horses going to come into play? You'll see.#s2.ep8 had beautiful music... I listened to it on loop while drawing!#Good music to chill out to before you fly into a rage.#This episode really cements how JGY's mind works - It is a matter of long-term outcomes at the sake of nearly everything else.#Morals do not matter to him if the outcome is more favourable.#and at the center of it all - he has learned that the only person he can truly trust is himself.#In turn - the only person his actions benefit are himself.#He will do anything and everything it takes to reach a position of power - not just for the power. But because it means safety.#Because it was something he was denied and the idea of not having control in his life again is unforgivable.#'Happiness' isn't a goal. We are looking at someone still stuck at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.#Everything and everyone is a piece in a game. Bonds and friendships are assets. People are dispensable.#He wants to climb for the sake of climbing. He wants praise and recognition because he feels it is deserved. It's all so hollow.#We could go deeper into his psyche on this.#But these are also tags under a comic in which 'evil penis music' is the punchline.
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do you think the obsession with ‘style consistency’ in online art communities is mostly caused by this idea that your art style needs to be easily marketable & recognizable as a brand (especially when you’re working as a freelancer). i see the /least/ amount of progress in my art whenever i try to aim for style consistency. i don’t know exactly where i’m going with this but i think there’s some sort of connection between trying to monetize/market your art & limiting your growth as an artist. and i think it’s very sad.
#in theory i don't really want to monetize my art i just want to make things. but if i was going to make money out of anything#i'd at least want it to be something i like doing. you understand my problem.#i don't know if i posted this before & deleted it. i have a tendency of deleting my thoughts as soon as i post them. but#this is something i think about a lot. especially when i think about my goals for the future. like opening up a patreon. or making a website#i don't know what makes my art 'my art' other than the fact i made it. i don't know how to theme my future patreon or my website#and it stresses me out thinking that i'll do better if i can market it in a specific linear way#that isn't really natural to how i think about art in general
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No hold on I'm gonna make an extra post about this:
I wouldn't choose to be alloromantic
If I were given the choice to either remain aro or become alloro again, I would choose aromanticism.
And I think a lot of people need to hear that.
#aro#aromantic#actually aromantic#safeforaro#alloromantics are encouraged to reblog this#aros aren't the only ones who need to hear that our orientation isn't a consolation prize#too many ppl - both aro-specs and alloros - think that being aro is okay only bc it's not something we choose#with the implicit belief that if we COULD choose then OF COURSE we'd choose to be alloro#bc it's clearly the 'superior' option#and honestly? it's not.#they're equally valid options and which one is 'superior' depends entirely on your own needs and preferences#and my preference is *being aro*#so if you're aro and you feel like yeah sure it's OKAY that you're aro bc you DIDN'T choose this#but if you could you WOULD choose to be alloro?#well maybe being alloro really would be better for you. or maybe it's just internalized amatonormativity.#and I cannot answer for you which one it is - the only one who can is you#all I can do is raise you the OPTION that it might be amatonormativity and then leave you to consider it#so this is for the aros who need to hear that option#and for the alloros who pity us for supposedly getting the short end of the stick#we are not a tragedy
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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Another sketch vs. finished build comparison!! ✌️ (First post is here~)
That middle sketch sure is something... lmao
#minecraft#mineblr#minecraft build#*#the 4th one isn't technically finished#and I never posted number 5 on here bc I didn't really like how it came out#that one was made using the block palette cubfan got by collecting blocks from the empires members btw#edit: I added IDs#I forgot that's something you can do!!!#I'm pretty sure they're bad though lol
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OH MY FUCKING GOD KAITO AND SHINICHI TOGETHER EXISTING IN ONE FRAME AND LOOKING HELLA DAPPER I'M GOING TO DIE
(x)
#kaishin#kidshin#GOSHO THIS ISN'T ENOUGH REPARATIONS FOR THE COUSIN DEBACLE#BUT I WILL GLADLY EAT IT UP OH MY FUCKING GOD#I WILL ONLY FORGIVE YOU WHEN YOU MAKE THEM KISS IN CANON IDC#RAAAAAHHHHHH LOOK AT THEM THEY LOOK STUNNING#KAITO LEANING ON SHINICHI'S BACK OH WOW IM SICK IM DEAD IM GONE#TURN AROUND AND GIVE HIM A BACKHUG KAITO I AM SO SERIOUS RIGHT NOW#OR SHINICH YOU CAN TURN AROUND AND KISS KAITO IDK#JUST DO SOMETHING BEFORE I DIE RAAAAAAAH#detective conan#dcmk#kudou shinichi#kuroba kaito#kaitou kid
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nah because crofty is genuinely insane because why would you say that about your coworker???? and to his face??? "this man knows lewis hamilton. friends, teammates, childhood buddies, rivals, everything but a lover." hello???? why are you saying that to nico rosberg's face???? why are you, as the lead f1 commentator, writing fanfiction about your coworker???? about him and his ex???? and also, what an insane thing to say about someone else's relationship!!! "everything but a lover"... just show them having gay sex onscreen, it would be less intimate than whatever the hell you just said.
#it's been almost 3 years since that happened and yet i still rotate that moment in my head like a rotisserie chicken#'everything but a lover'.... what a terribly intimate thing to say about another person#like isn't that more romantic than actually being someone's partner??? they are everything to you but a romantic interest#wow... they are your friend your brother the little butterflies in your stomach... everything and anything but a lover#because like you can live without a lover but can you live without the tender smile your friend gives you when something good happens?#can you live without the hugs and the shared podiums and the shared dreams and greece?#also imagine lewis coming home and eciding to watch a recap of the race and then crofty just says this... like what the fuck do you even sa#i just /know/ that the industry is scheming to bring them back together again bc what else could this have been?#david croft#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#brocedes#f1
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it's a pet peeve of mine when ppl frame Andrew as hating Aaron and being needlessly cruel to him... bc while yes, their relationship is fractured and strained, Andrew genuinely cares about his brother and wants the best for him, he just doesn't know how to show that in a normal way.
like he might not know how to express it in a healthy manner but Andrew LOVES Aaron, like he truly just wants Aaron to be healthy and safe. It's like, his whole Thing. Aaron is one of the most important people in his life. Andrew wants him around. He'd do anything to protect him.
I guarantee Andrew wants to be emotionally close to Aaron too, he just doesn't have the tools to do that and the thought of letting someone in terrifies him. He also has no concept of what a healthy sibling relationship looks like, so he has no frame of reference to work from.
#i love bickering twinyards as much as the next guy but sometimes ppl write andrew has if he thinks aaron is a waste of space#and that just isn't true#andrew values his brother#he wouldn't insist on keeping aaron close if he didn't#when ppl do this is just so obvious to me that they're using andrew as a mouthpiece for their own dislike of aaron#and like ok yeah you're entitled to not like a character i guess#but it's just so wildly out of character to me for andrew to treat aaron like shit for no reason beyond Being Cruel#like yeah andrew can be mean when he's feeling defensive or trying to make a point#and yeah he can treat people like shit if he's got a reason to justify it like Keeping People Safe#but he's not needlessly cruel to the people closest to him without cause#like neil says#everything andrew does#he does For A Reason#even neil isn't needlessly mean to aaron tbh#like he doesn't like aaron much at certain points but if he picks a fight with aaron it's never without cause#and he's genuinely happy for aaron when things work out with katelyn in the end#and he wants aaron to have a relationship with andrew as well! like it's important to neil that the twins have a healthy bond!!#anyway im getting off my soapbox now this is just something i was thinking about today a Lot#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court
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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.
Bye.
#ask me#anon#once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything#the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again#But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year#In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related#I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped#And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it#I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop#Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas#But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now#But I didn't because I'm TIRED#I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired#what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen#drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter#it can really make you freak out#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will#I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my#followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm#disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing#you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere#I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.
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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me#yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai#and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X#dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU#for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...
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He was just being a silly little guy!
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#wen ruohan#nie mingjue#lan xichen#JGY's character is the zigging and zagging guy of all time#We love a little meow meow that can bite and scratch and kill you.#We also love a little meow meow that can mewl pathetically!#'He's evil now and torturing his former friend?" ZAG TIME: He's a spy and feels soooo awful about it!!#ZIG TIME: He (probably) didn't need to go that deep into the role and kill as many people as he did.#Something I really love about the sworn brother trio is how they reflect how our feelings distort our perception of others.#Lan Xichen represents how when we love/care about someone -anything they do can be endearing. They aren't manipulative: they are clever.#Its less about rose tinted glasses and more about reframing every look you get of them. The constant justifications you make for them.#They just need a space to be loved! “They care for me so I will stand by them no matter what to show them I'm there for them!”#While NMJ represents how when you dislike someone - Everything they do is an affront or proof of their foul character.#Everything is a sign. Everything is 'proof' they are just as awful as you want them to be. Every 'good trait' is twisted.#The problem is that most people are just human. They are flawed and they are capable of good and bad things.#Meng Yao's motivations are very complex. Yet he's extremely human all the same. He isn't the saint nor the monster of the story.
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zuko alone pt 2
lovingly inspired by this [ids in alt]
#zuko#sokka#zukka#zukka fanart#myart#sokka leaving aka the light in zukos life leaving#i imagine this is right before a confession but something happens and sokka decides to go home permanently and they both can't say how they#feel even though it's almost understood because it's too painful#when i first drafted this sokka's hair wasn't nearly as long but then i got carried away because of canon long haired sokka#after i drafted this i actually came up with a longer form one that's more faithful to the inspiration so maybe i'll do that someday.#where they're actually dating already but the love just. isn't enough for their duty#drawing sokka without his necklace is weird. like he's nakey#sokka fanart#atla fanart#atla#avatar the last airbender#can this be divorced zukka if they were never together? tagging anyway in case people have angst blocked#divorced zukka
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I think there's a genuine conversation to be had about how aro spaces have begun pushing QPRs in a similar way that amatonormativity pushes romantic relationships onto people but a majority of aros just refuse to engage in the discussion because they see it as an attack on QPRs or people saying QPRs are romantic relationships lite instead of actually looking at the fact it's critiquing how some Aros have begun pushing it almost like an alternative to romance and something all Aro's want.
No one is saying QPRs are bad but rather that there is too much push that the idea of a QPR will fix people's problems. "oh you're lonely? just find a QPR!" "You dont have to be in a romantic relationship you can be in a QPR!" "QPR is MORE than friendship" etc etc.
There's a genuine critique here of QPRs being used to continue to push amatonormativity by again assuming that every aro wants a partner - even if not romantic - and I think we can have a genuine conversation about this rather than going at each other throats over a fake argument of "QPRs bad"
#text#aro#aromantic#non-partnering#QPR#queer-platonic relationships#Queerplatonic relationships#non partnering#nonpartnering aro#non-partnering aro#nonamorous#partnering aro#if you havent seen this side of the community good for you but also kindly do not respond to this#because i genuinely do not think you can add worth while commentary on something you have no experience with seeing#also if you are not an aro who pushes QPRs on ppl then great! this post isn't about you so don't leave a comment abt how ur not like that#i on the other hand along with others have found ourselves having negative experiences with how the community is pushing QPRs#i understand QPRs used to and in some cases still are not acknowledged - especially by wider society#but this isn't about wider society it is about aromantic communities#and i know it was just excitement that got being excited to find that they could still partner with people in a non-romantic sense#it made parterning aros feel like they wouldn't end up being alone#but for many people like myself the communities laser focus on QPRs makes it difficult as non-partnering aros to navigate our identity#by society we are told we have to be in a romantic relationship#then in aro spaces we are told we don't have to be in a romantic relationship but instead we can be in a QPR#but no one ever says 'you dont have to be in a relationship' period. end of sentence.#aro spaces have shifted focus on partnering aros and any time non-partnering aros speak up we are shut down#it's 'oh not all aro's are non-partnering' or 'some aros are in qprs'#i know this only comes from the fact there was heavy gatekeeping at one point to only allow aros who didn't date at all#but the response to that shouldnt of been to shut down any and all non-partnering aros in the community#the point is we need to allow options. if the community is only focusing on QPRs then how are non-partnering aros supposed to realize that#not being in any relationship is an option. we cannot let amatonormativity take over a space that is explicitly supposed to be against it
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The bourgeois or "exploiting class" doesn't inherently include the person who gets their nails done biweekly, or the disabled person who has a carer, or the guy who got a $70 video game for full-price, or the person who relies on medication (yes even the ones you don't think they "need"), or anything else like this. None of these people will, on average, have the ability to exploit workers by means of ownership or whatever.
While you are busy fighting with fellow workers, you are still being exploited by your boss, by capitalism, by (potentially) not having healthcare, by being overworked and underpaid, and so are they.
#politics#feel like this wording isn't satisfactory for me but fuck it we ball#used bourgeois because i think as a colloquial word it's recognized but like...#...i dunno i think some people use it to mean 'person who can do [x]' even if they quite literally own no means of production#like the idea that you're exploiting a worker by agreeing to a service they provide isn't what bourgeois means#if i paid a carer to care for a disabled person they aren't being exploited by that disabled person...#...HOWEVER that carer absolutely can (and probably will be) exploited by the systems of power (eg their boss or capitalism)#perhaps it's too late at night for me to be posting about this but it's something that bothers me!#*especially* when it comes to disability and other groups already exploited by marginalization 👍#if your leftism percludes the disabled (including the terminally and profoundly) or the elderly or the queer or so so much i don't WANT ITTT#saw a disabled person i follow lament how afraid they were to have a carer out of fear of Being a Bad Exploitative Person#and they obviously need one and that makes me so fucking angry to know that they are needlessly suffering
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Nina and Crowley Mr. Six Shots Of Espresso In A Big Cup
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#nina good omens#crowley#goodomensedit#V posts things#V watches Good Omens#I just think they're neat!#Sometimes the recognition between a jaded coffee lesbian and a depressed overcaffeinated demon is something that can be so personal#Nina calling Crowley weird to his face is just so funny#she's right!! That's a weird dude#Her little wave to him at the end gets me#I do hope this isn't the last we see of her and Maggie#On a possibly related note I also hope Crowley gets some friends because he badly needs that
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