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butchwink · 18 days

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okay tumblr heres the deal. im a real dipshit. a real idiot. i really didnt do this on purpose. i lost my keys to the bottom of my purse for about a week and got them replaced so i have a backup set now but i ended up in the psych ward the second time this ramadan and its so hard to observe ramadan in a goddamn psych ward they want you fasting when the suns down its absolutely insane how christian this "laique" private military hospital is. the fort i have to volunteer at again. monfort. they think im a doctor or something but i have a bs degree in philosphy is what i keep telling them

either way i lost my wallet on the bus going to cash a cheque that was a refund for fucking hockey equipment. i bought a helmet, a bunch of tape, and other gear in time to get to play this winter. the sticks i bought out of pocket i had to buy sticks again lol cause i got rid of them during a move at some point along with my mothers walking stick. i cant keep all your bullshit alive mom and dad. sorry.

so basically donations from the internet are no good and i need a brave asshole in or around ottawa to offer me tissues toilet paper and a pack of smokes. i have weed and idc im the queen of france and everyone is too scared to try anything against me. its the middle of the night and id rather bug tumblr than keep texting my best friend.

sorry im like this i swear i didnt lose the wallet on purpose. theres no money on the card theres small change and the guitar pick i used to make my only lp in high school. it sucks cause i had to rush it and produce it all on my own but its lost media now afaik. idk where my hard drive in is this mess.

i dont wanna put my shit out on bandcamp because i hate the culture of asking ten bucks to download ones music. i get it its only ten bucks but this money is quite precarious around my ass and i dont care about getting tied to a wage. sorry my time is worth more than a wage or a salary and im a communist. i dont want to be the bitch asking a toonie for more eps and lps if i ever go back to the god damn studio. i dont want to be the bitch screaming about labor conditions and space jam bullshit in ottawa. this place is cursed and im like the devil or something. the aliens dont want to tie us up to our own bullshit labor contracts. im sorry the $12 million contract from the aliens is just as bullshit dont take it lmao dont offer it either bozos.

the french owe friendship and solidarity to the anishinaabe and im deeply ashamed no ones been brave eough to play the devil king or queen of france at the end times and end the occupation in palestine already. jesus fucking christ youre all assholes here stop playing jesus all of you little martyrs everywhere anyday we couldve had this.

my problem is im friends with joan of arc and anne frank and my mom is journaling my life because she thinks shes doing me and anne franks crowd a favor by being a zionist. forreal my moms a canadian idiot and i kind of hope she killed herself in shame 15 years ago because oh my god i dont want to talk to her for a couple months again fuck off mom the old regent queen of france needs to go back to bed it isnt even six in the morning the birds are singing but its dark af outside i should eat something

zior park made me cave to kpop again go check out christian and ghost sound of the summer. i miss kpop sorry i had to avoid kpop forever hi christian idiots over on the south side stop playing jesus omg youre such communists anyway wake up bozos.

im like the devil or something. im gonna play fma to get my mom back on october 3rd because i didnt forget, tumblr. i didnt forget you guys. idc if i lose an arm or a leg at this point. my brothers safe in his shell already dont go bugging alexandre. "dont call my name alejandro" means dont blast alex too and lady gaga failed that one so im blasting her. my family couldnt shut up about being work acquaintances and sharing family stories with her? sorry i have to blast my family like this theyre all assholes who wanna find out what happened to my mom anyway. and whoever else died.

and idcc lemme live my life holy shit its so structurally impossible to be myself as an autistic trans woman and the funniest bitch on the planet year after year whats my problem? im an ottawa citizen and i have to live a human life as lucifer. lucina. whatever its lucy now. i liberated hell as a child. they taught me ego death as a fucking toddler. amos daragon escaping hell as a teenager and being anxious? thats really cute that was my last airbender shit before nickelodeon caught on to something really special.

go check out amos daragon and berskerk already. and awakening. i wanna bring back pokemon. the real shadow games. fuck yugioh lol

ive got the madoka wish to end suffering in my pocket and ive had it for a long time. i cant believe we lost lauren. she was my homura. im so sorry lauren. rest in peace. please dont try to stop me its okay. ily. no shit i thought i was sayaka all along im like that. ill throw my soul gem into traffic watch me. i hate saying that line so much especially in this town its worse than inshallah. thats trudeaus dad saying hell put security on every mp during the october crisis. enjoy 2024. i hope the leafs win the cup in four years so hell can freeze over already i miss my odrs!! bring back the canal for more than a few days at a time! please?? anyone!? wake up!

#fire emblem #pokemon #montreal to madrid #lady lamb #anyone wake up!!!!#alison from orleans you devil someone go bug ali she showed me this website #this is her backyard i took over hello the internet you needed a special corner and i fucking found it tysm tumblr ily tumblr i cant lose u #ali wake up you might be the more restrained jealous wrathful bitch here but i think the war on ukraine is on you and i dude #forreal stop it with russian agent bullshit wake the fuck up and read lenin #whats the story with anastasia and the shotguns do you want me to tell it id rather ask her in person you know how it is #pokemon go to the polls? that was funny #lemme show you #pokemon go conquest #ottawa #montreal #toronto #cataraqui #idc ill make it a fan game with my friends if nintendo doesnt offer it to us anyway #watch the awakening cutscenes on youtube if you havent played awakening #im lucina wake the fuck up ali and i wished marth would get to be a chick already that was amazing thank you kyubeys at nintendo #that was alisons wish. the ukranian from my siblings school. the lesbian i was bearding with in college. yeah of course #she showed me tumblr how do you think this was gonna end anyway im not letting go of this thing and i bet neither is she #find her!! shes with the fire emblem crowd #lucina was her wish and shes a magical girl and a half this one. shes got a degree in translation now #we met learning german together at uottawa #lady lamb at lamoureux already fuck off other ali we were in arts thats the stairwell to hell #pokemon go conquest alreadyyy #from the malbaie to gaspé to winsor and thunder bay! give us pokemon already!!#(im handing out pokemon cards like no tomorrow joan of arc likes pokemon more than yugioh the king of games is back motherfuckers)#i cant wait to play the rat deck on my friends three blue eyes white quacavals or whatever the fuck the duck starter is called

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darkaac · 3 months

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finished AC Origins! I liked it a lot, Bayek might be one of my favorite protags

#not that i have an established ranking but if i did he would be way up there. poor guy #it's a big game. i didn't really bother with the (formal) sidequests but MSQ; clearing up the maps; and upgrading the equipment takes a min #don't know how i feel about the extra RPG elements with substats on weapons and such. and i wish the armor system was like in AC2 #(for example) where you have different Sets and can mix and match. give me Fashion's Creed #also my gripes about it ''not feeling like an AC game'' were fully due to the controls. switched them up and never felt the friction again #this isn't an Origins-only problem but i miss having the hidden blade as a selectable weapon. let me do OHKO counterattacks #i also felt for layla. must suck to realize that for all the ''promise'' they say you show you barely even count as a pawn #a visionary just as disposable as any other poor fool #although i liked the 2nd DLC i felt that the facial animations were off? like the eyes were too static #and the memory corridors were scaled back for both DLCs. though i will admit the sinai templar ones did creep me out #i kept bayek's beard for my whole playthrough so when i look at renders and screenies and promos he looks peeled #darktalks #onto odyssey now

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cocklessboy · 10 months

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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+#trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

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diorchids · 22 days

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BACKYARD BARBECUE, SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY.

— dadsbestfriend!simon, age gap (r is 19-20), size kink, fingering, p in v, praise kink, choking, bruising, nipple sucking, nipple play, outdoor sex, tummy bulges.

you knew he was coming.

simon is your father's best friend, the two met while stationed. you’d met him enough times to call him an uncle, about a year ago, getting more and more comfortable with him as the months passed.

your skirt billowed in the slight wind, the sun shone as you spoke to family.

you heard your father chuckle before seeing simon, a few words being exchanged before he made his way over to you.

he’s taken a liking to you out of all your siblings, making this extremely obvious to you just by the way he treats you. he gets closer to you and immediately hugs you, taking in your smell and planting his large hand on your back.

“hey there, sweetheart. how’s my favorite girl doing?” his scruffy beard scratching your face as his hands moved further down, stopping before breaking the hug.

“hey, si,” you gave a smile, not breaking eye contact for even a second. to anyone, this would be flirting. but it’s not like that. you’re greeting a family friend, attending to your daughterly duties.

“look at you, kiddo, so grown up now.” he stood back and looked you up and down, eyeing your body perversely.

you two talked, having to practically yell because of the number of people speaking. he knew he had your attention, and he liked it.

“but,” he grinned, taking another step closer. his hand slid down your hip, fingers grazing against the bare skin of your thigh. "why don't we find a nice quiet spot to talk?" he whispered in your ear, his warm breath tickling your neck.

this wasn’t completely new for him. there was an incident before when you had to drive with him to the beach, your car was broken down, and your parents' car was full. you sat in the passenger seat in your bikini, smiling and laughing at whatever he was saying, a little desperate. his hand rested on your thigh, thumb rubbing the supple skin back and forth. you could’ve sworn he was inching closer to your inner thighs as he drove.

you waited for a second before answering, your head tilted before speaking, “‘kay.” a brief answer, no teasing this time.

simon leads you to a secluded corner of the backyard, away from the bustle of the barbecue. he sits on an old, wooden bench, patting his lap invitingly. "now then, love," he began, his voice low.

you sat promptly.

simon's large hands roamed your body, squeezing your thighs and tracing the curves of your waist. his fingers dipped beneath your skirt, brushing against the thin fabric of your panties.

he groaned grossly under his breath, not getting enough of your body. the way you’d melt under his touch, so disgustingly needy for contact, made him want to take you even more.

his fingers dipped beneath your skirt, brushing against the thin fabric of your panties. your clit was so puffy, you were just so ready for his cock. “i’ve been watchin’ you, you know,” his thick accent making your thighs burn.

simon's lips were inches from your ear, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. he brought his other hand to your throat, squeezing before moving it toward your breasts. “i've always thought you were such a pretty little thing.” he whispered.

his hands pinched your nipples through your thin shirt, in turn making you grind down on his bulge. :(

“mmm, really?” your poor clit twitched under his finger. he pressed his lips against your neck, kissing and nipping gently, “so grown up now… hm?” he purred. his hands traveled lower, pushing your skirt up around your hips. you had nothing to say, words failing to escape your lips.

both of his hands were circling your pulsing cunt by now, a finger finding you already wet with excitement. you whimpered as he pressed his finger against your entrance, rubbing teasingly. “you want this, don’t you, doll?” you nodded, “i do.”

without hesitation, simon pushed his fingers inside you, feeling your tight cunt grip him perfectly. he began to move them in and out slowly, picking up speed as he felt your wetness coat his knuckles. “so fucking tight.” he moaned.

you writhed underneath him, tears already starting to roll as your legs trembled. you babbled and shook as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, stretching you.

simon used another hand to pull your shirt over your head, revealing your breasts. your back rubbed up against his chest before he pulled his fingers from your cunt, lifting and turning you so you were facing him.

he took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking hard while pushing his fingers back into your starving little cunt. your mascara ran down your face as you pouted and cried, senses becoming overwhelmed.

he sucked hard while continuing to finger you. “you’re gonna make such a pretty little slut.” he groaned against your skin. “mhm! f-feels so fuckin’ good, si. m’gonna cum.” stupidly nodding and biting your plump lip.

he chuckled darkly, his fingers pumping faster and harder inside your velvety walls. your cunt constricted around his knuckles as you cried out, legs quivering as the knot in your tummy threatened release.

salty tears rolled down your face before he pulled his fingers out of you, leaving a trail of your juices on his hand. his fat cock pushed up against his slacks, straining against it, emphasizing every curve in his bulge. you cried loudly, lips puffy and slick, clit twitching pathetically.

your fingers curved around his clothed cock, being pushed away before he unbuckles his belt, pulling his pants down, pre-cum leaking through the fabric of his boxers. he pulls his waistband away from his hips, freeing his cock pressed up against his stomach.

he pulled his pants off as you stood and watched, salivating at the sight of his cock. you’d do anything for him, getting more and more greedy at the thought of him finally pushing his cock into you.

finally, he had you on your knees on the bench, facing away from him, cunt burning, waiting for his thick length. you waited, breaking the silence with a question, “you usually like college girls?”

it was an honest question, you were serious.

he rubbed the tip of his cock against your slick hole, teasing. “i like what i like,” he grinned. “and right now, i like you.” he pushed his cock into your tense cunt, causing you to dig your nails into his thigh.

simon thrust his hips forward, burying his cock inside you up to the hilt. you felt his chest rising and falling against you as he groaned against your neck. how badly he wanted to bruise it up.

“take it,” he grunted, “take all of it.” his cock stretched your cunts walls, filling you up with his thickness. you felt a hand trail up to your throat, another gripping your hips tightly, guiding him in and out of your soaking hole.

he was rough with you, increasing the force with which he pounded into you. his hips snapped forward which each thrust, making your ass ripple. “s-si, can’t take it n’more! agh–cock s’fat, go slow, si, please, hurt s’bad!” he laughed at your attempts to stop him.

his grip on your neck tightened with each thrust, surely creating small bruises to deal with later. “fuckin’ delicious. takin’ me so well.” he said breathlessly, continuing to pound into you without mercy.

“s’too much… si, fuck!” he was hunched over, both of you a mess, hair stuck to his forehead, you, crying ‘cause of his fat dick!

“g-go deeper, deep–mmf!” you begged.

simon hissed, pulling out almost completely before slamming his huge cock back in with a force that made your poor tummy flip. he continued this pattern of deep thrusts, grunting loudly with each one as he dove his cock deeper into your wet hole.

he brought a hand to your clit, thick finger lousily rubbing and rolling it roughly between his thumb and forefinger. “m’gonna cum!” you pushed yourself onto his cock more, greedy for his length.

“cum–cum for me, love.” he urged, thrusting into you even harder. you gushed around his cock, thrashing while your cunt showed its appreciation, orgasm crashing over you, causing you to clench tightly around his cock. you moaned like an animal as he continued his abuse on your walls.

“fuck–like that,” simon grunted, groaning loudly as he felt his cock shudder violently inside of you. with one last thrust, he let go and came inside of you, filling you with his hot seed. it spilled out of you before simon sloppily thrust a few more times, making sure to fuck his cum deep into you, like there were no consequences.

he didn’t let go of you, still hunched over your body, small in comparison to him, tummy slightly bulged by his oversized cock. panting heavily, he rode out the aftershocks of his orgasm. his cock twitched inside of you, releasing a few more spurts of cum.

he helped you to your feet, smoothing your hair, drying your tears after wiping the cum from your inner thigh with his thumb, and sticking it in your mouth. you sucked his thumb hungrily, warm tongue making him softly groan.

he’d heard your father call for him from the grill while he buckled his pants, kissing you before walking back into the yard.

“good talk, sweetheart.”

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