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do-you-have-a-flag · 3 years

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Destiel shippers come get ya’ll juice!

SO @deadwright and I were inspired by Some Tumblr Posts and the twitter Roadhouse Wedding stuff and keep writing headcanons about Thee Destiel 2021 Married Ever After S16 SPN Romantic Event Of The Season, so here’s that.

Arranged in order of marital chronology and cutting out us keysmashing too much:

oh man imagine all the burgers they get catered for the reception dean got it done himself he would’ve been so particular about the catering bridezilla cas would probably be THEE bitchiest bridezilla

it's also definitely that trope where all the other hunters ect KNOW that that many of them and the wedding party are essentially a target for trouble so everyone spends the 24 hours leading up to the vows taking out every beastie who shows up on a revenge kick out of sight because they'll be damned if they let ANYTHING stop this wedding and Dean and cas are both having their marital jitters oh god im not good enough what if something goes wrong about mundane things while monsters are getting their ass kicked outside AWWWWWWWW for sure for sure, they’re hunter royalty this wedding is a big deal like half the attendees are nursing injuries but grinning widely

they don't do the can't see eachother before the wedding thing because you KNOW dean would be fixing cas' tie last minute

dean wears a blue pocket square to match cas' tie cas wears a FLANNEL SQUARE

I’m obsessed w the idea of cas giving dean a little bit of his grace in a small bottle on a chain for him to wear or like a wing feather or some part of him god the grace in a bottle breaks me every time in fic dean probably builds cas something but every time i try to think of something specific i choke up

i was thinking like what if trading grace is as close to a romantic gesture as angels have and he's like..... technically i left some grace behind in your mark when i dragged you from the pit and dean is like ARE YOU SAYING WE'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS WHOLE TIME?

they are so sweet i’m on the verge of tears the ability to do anything by halves in their relationship was burnt out by like the second return from the dead moment they are too insane to be anything less than All In And Then Some

at one point someone was like hey cas do you want to run your vows by someone as practice? and he started reading what he'd prepared and it devolved into Biblically Grand Statements Of The Power Of Love And The Redemption Of - ect ect ect and it's because unlike the confession scene he's had TOO much preparation and overshot into uncanny angelic vibes he makes some edits because he know the expressions he gets when he reads it aren't what he intended

dean writes page after page after page of unused drafts, none of them are particularly floral

he does the cliche of ripping up his vows and improvising at the altar, something he gets mercilessly teased for because he swore he wouldn't but it classifies as a chick flick moment

THAT’S SO PEAK HIM OH MY GOD and you knoooooow you just KNOW it’s beautiful and emotional and everyone is crying

god the NOVELTY of dean being emotionally honest in front of people......im gonna faint YEA yeah... ONE TIME ONLY DEAL he thinks loudly at Sam's smug expression

anyway, at the wedding dean is the one who spends the whole ceremony with like crying cat meme eyes after the confession scene i’m pretty sure the minute the vows start cas is in the same boat USELESS HUSBANDS dean gets passed a handkerchief for his tears and immediately goes to use it on cas' face and they both laugh sob love the idea that everyone individually thought they were too tough to cry but they all broke at various stages yeah sam definitely starts to choke up just standing up there with his brother sam chokes up before the ceremony even started, like probably when he was pinning on dean’s corsage

anyway, Jack dancing with his two dads at the reception CAS’ BEST MAN / FLOWER BOY FLOWER MAN let him heelie down the aisle with the flowers LITTLE MAN GO NYOOM who makes him a little flower crown he wears with a proud lil smile? claire ofc, with those hair braiding skills? she makes it BEAUTIFUL flower crown: on nails: painted dads: MARRIED!!!!

when they say i do and kiss and everyone is cheering you can't convince me that someone doesn't let off what is either a gun or a dubiously legal firework in celebration jack pops a few lightbulbs in his uncontrollable joy

Dean and Cas can't let go of each other, it's at LEAST one point of physical contact for the rest of the reception PERIODT

CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM DANCING TO AIR SUPPLY

they definitely didn't do the wedding gifts thing but a few mysteriously show up anyway; discuss waffle iron from sam bc he remembers the becky incident meanwhile claire gets them flavoured lube because she’s an insane little mean girl she gets them a sampler package with like novelty flavours, gotta spring extra for a wedding PIE FLAVOURED LUBE

it’s gonna be the party of the century omfg you KNOW it! that dancefloor going OFF the BAR is FLOWING

dean gets dragged up onto the bar to make a speech and there's a moment at the end where he drags cas up there too and they're being playfully yelled at not to scuff it and there's hooting and catcalls as dean and cas kiss and dean gestures rudely before almost falling backwards off the bar before cas grabs him and climbing down is less romantic or dignified but he couldn't care if he wanted to

meanwhile sam and claire are outside defacing the impala with silly string and lewd graffiti and tin cans tied to the bumper for the going-away oh it is one hundo percent a just married atrocity there's enough condoms hidden in the car that they're still finding them months later

anyway wanna hear my disgustingly soppy honeymoon roadtrip concept? YOU KNOW I DO OKAY SO

you know at some point dean must have said some sad thing like for the longest time he never thought he'd live long enough to get married and the only circumstances he could imagine was hooking up drunkenly with a stranger at some vegas wedding scenario like that's the best he would ever get and he thinks it's mostly forgotten but then during their cross country honeymoon roadtrip castiel does in fact navigate them to las vegas and quietly mutters that the legal veracity of the little chapel on the city limits is dubious at best and they're already married so it couldn't do any harm and they get officiated by an elvis impersonator and a woman wearing more sequins than fabric throws cheap confetti over them

and after that they stop into every venue they can find that would be friendly to them to pretend they're eloping and at one point dean even pulls out the fbi id badges and the officiant is under the impression he's facilitating some sort of covert workplace romance

one place is a kitchy little house that's clearly just the couple who run it opening their strange home to anyone who needs it and have been since the 70s and Castiel thinks for a moment when they're asked to pin something to the collection of stuff on the walls and ceiling before pulling the receipt for the pie they'd shared earlier in a dinner out and scrawling his and dean's name on it to be added to the clutter

and at one point they stand ankle deep in a pond while some old hippie lady wraps their clasped hands together with soft fabric and chants something that dean knows isn't real magic but hey he's not going to tell her that and after the ceremony they sit on the grass and feed each other sweet bread to complete the binding or whatever and it's nice but it doesn't compare to the ranch where they both tossed their cowboy hats in the air and were given a horse to ride to their camp site

i thought about riverboat gambling for point one seconds and now i know in my bones that one of their many weddings was on a riverboat, they made the captain officiate after cornering him on deck in like five minutes, the crew sent them complimentary champagne and they threw fries at the birds following the boat while sharing it straight out of the bottle

if destiel can go canon multiple times they can get married multiple times CHANGE MY MIND THEY GET MARRIED SO MUCH the MOST married i just want them to get gay cowboy married

eventually i want them to end up at the beach bc dean has canonically never been to the coast their road trip is to get to the other coast

they send just married postcards back to sam from every stop sam stops feeling hurt he was left out of their vegas elopement wedding by the third wedding postcard he recieves sam saves them ofc bc GOD can you imagine them looking at the postcards on their 30th anniversary or s/t 🥺 showing their grandkids and recounting the story of each wedding there's a seashell taped to the last one

cas gets a terrible sunglasses tan and dean gets burnt on the tips of his ears and there's sand on sand on sand in all their clothes and at one point dean is blinking away salt water and cas is gripping his arm and saying something about the coral by them in the water and dean thinks that he likes floating beside cas a lot better than flying

dean has cas pick ice cream for them from a truck and hustles at carnival games enough to win them both big novelty foam hats and they both go back to their room and pass out immediately post shower sprawled across the bed and still smelling like sunscreen and salt water

dean tucks a little cocktail umbrella behind cas’ ear

cas spends most of the next day in dean's zepplin shirt and a pair of shorts they only picked up once they got there because neither of them thought to bring beach clothes, they sit on the balcony and dean sips his beer and idly plays with the ring on cas' finger and they play a game of what fictional monsters could they beat in a fight

cas’ true form is the size of the chrysler building he can fight king kong easy that's what he says and dean's like okay but what about mothra and castiel is like how would YOU defeat mothra and dean just goes "bugspray." GDJSGSHSGSHDSJ DEAN WOULD

in honour of misha putting his whole pussy into the role, cas wears a dress in at least one of their weddings

it's at one of those theme parks that's just historical re-enactments and people get their vows renewed there and there's costumes for the photobooth and the staff are like how long have you been married? castiel says two weeks, three days, eighteen hours, and twenty five minutes................ approximately. and the photo is cas in a classical wedding gown and dean is wearing the veil with his old timey suit and there's a moose head on the wall behind them wearing the top hat he was given and they send that print with an arrow pointing at the moose with sam written next to it

i keep thinking bitch!!!! you KNOW WHAT!! you KNOW that dean is the type a guy who's heart races every time he feels his wedding ring/is always fiddling with it in the weeks after the wedding, like an anchor to remind him they really got married this is real he would NEED that physical reminder that he can have good things

he’s never ever going to take it off, the tan line will be permanent

how funny it would be if dean gets injured on a hunt and the monster guy is about to kill him and then the lights blow out and the monsters are like what was that and dean is just like "[spits blood] that's my husband." and nek minnit cas has just ripped through them thanks to teleporting in angel style and is just like Cas: [heals dean] "you're late for movie night" Dean: "Well if you'd gotten here earlier i would have been on time." Cas: >:| [kisses him]

cas is like i didn’t burn the popcorn this time you BETTER be alive to see it

#destiel #supernatural #long post #supernatural season 16 #twitter roadhouse wedding about to pop OFF #destiel wedding #deancas

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rosequartzwriting · 3 years

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Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader

Description: You offer Bucky coffee, with an accidental espresso shot, and the caffeine gets to him. Fall themed!

Warnings: Non

Word Count: 2.0k

A/N: Originally posted on Quotev on Jan 21, 2019 / Sorry if Bucky feels out of character, I blame the caffeine I gave him / Written for Alex

Masterlist | Fic Reading Recs | Ao3 | Quotev | Coffee

“Where is he?”

Steve looked up from his breakfast and pointed to the open door of the fridge. Tony was rummaging through it while mumbling to himself, but perking up at the sound of your voice. He had a strawberry in his mouth, there he goes snacking again. Food never seems to last in the tower.

You held up the tray and Tony's face lit up. He wanted you to do his morning Starbucks run. Even if the tower had plenty of coffee and tea options, he needed his pumpkin spice latte and he wanted it done right. You never thought Tony would be that type of person, to like sugary and basic white bitch drinks, but he is apparently.

“I’m not Pepper.” You said blankly, eyeing the man as he approached to claim his drink. “Why did I have to go and get your coffee?”

“Because you’re the one who messed up on the last mission, (Y/N).” Tony answered with an fake innocent smile.

“I tripped!” You gasped in defense, really you tripped. It was an accident but it made a domino effect and you almost costed everyone the mission. The guys in the tower were not going to let you forget anytime soon, it was too embarrassing. And you were thankful Sam didn't have a camera because that would be the worst.

“You just need to have your pumpkin spice latte.” Steve laughed, shaking his head.

“Get in the fall spirit, Rogers.” Tony said, taking one of the cups from the tray greedily.

“I can only imagine what he’ll do on Halloween…” You mumbled under your breath. The over the top decorations and his making everyone play along with his enthusiasm...Oh no what about Christmas...you didn’t even want to think about Christmas.

Before you knew it Tony left with his coffee, not even thanking you for going out in the cold to get it. Something wanted you to go follow him and shove the other three steaming hot cups down the front of his shirt, but you refrained since you wanted one of them for yourself.

Instead you bottled up your frustrations and you took one for yourself and gave one to Steve. Tony paid for it so it doesn't matter, free coffee for you then!

While taking a sip of your own delicious latte, you heard heavy footsteps enter the room. Soon Bucky groaned and dragged himself into the kitchen.

“Morning Bucky.” You said, taken aback by his sudden appearance. He simply nodded in response, he was not a morning person. It seemed that your heart jumped to your throat every time he acknowledged your existence, and you’ll take a simple nod as one.

“Come on Buck, wake up. We got training to do.” Steve announced, cleaning up his dishes.

“Yeah yeah I know. God, you’re so loud.” Bucky looked like he could use a few more hours of sleep, or a few gallons of coffee. He slowly made his way to the pantry and stumbled dug for the breakfast bars, a quick breakfast before training.

"Hey Bucky, you want one?" You offered him one of the coffee cups, knowing it was a dangerous game you were playing by speaking to him this early in the morning. But thankfully he didn't chop your head off, he merely turned around to see what you had offered.

"What is it?" He asked, staring at the cup with a blank face.

"Pumpkin spice latte."

Bucky looked skeptical, but took it and raised it to his lips to take a sip. The sugar hit him before the caffeine.

"It's sweet."

"See its not that bad." Steve chimed in, drinking his own latte.

"The future is weird..." He mumbled, sending a slightly amused-looking smile in your direction. You didn't know if you wanted to scream or run to your room and hide.

"Technically its the present." Steve tried to be smart.

"Shut up." Bucky started to walk out of the room, still slightly groggy (the caffeine would kick in soon though) but he looked back. “That scarf looks good on you.”

You glanced down at it, fleece and yellow plaid. You grew shy and scratched the back of your head. “Thanks.” You realized it came out as a mere squeak.

He smiled and left after muttering "Thank you, (Y/N)", probably to get ready for training. Deep down you didn't want to see him go, and you heart pounded when he said your name.

"Weird."

"Hm?" You turned to Steve.

"He usually hates mornings, he looked happy."

It just dawned on you. Everyone feared bothering Bucky when it was too early, and on a normal day he would go into full Winter Soldier mode when anyone dared to step across the line of 'I'm too tired to be alive right now and I'll murder you and burn your body if you get in my face'. Maybe it was the latte you gave him, to your knowledge Bucky didn't drink coffee much.

Then you realized something...

Oh Shit.

"Oh no," You knew Steve would scold you, so you changed your wording in your head before it came out of your mouth.

"What?"

"I gave Bucky the one with the espresso shot..."

The Captain chuckled and patted your shoulder, "Its fine, he needs it."

You slightly laughed, if it made him a little less of a morning grump then why not.

"Don't worry, it probably will not turn out as bad as that one time when Pietro had just regular coffee." Steve remembered.

So many things in the Tower were broken that day, Tony was furious. There was plenty of yelling, and the speedster almost passed out from the overdrive. From that day forwards, Pietro was never allowed to have coffee ever again.

"But I kinda needed that espresso shot..." You groaned.

"Calm down, you'll live." He said it so simply you almost wanted to knock him upside the head. Then he mumbled something; "Also I don't think the coffee was the reason he was happy-"

"What?"

He ignored you.

"Well I'm gonna head to the training room, see ya kid." Cap left the kitchen, leaving you with your latte (that sadly wasn't strong enough to kill your exhaustion) and you finally could have your breakfast. Because someone didn't let you do anything until you fetched their morning coffee (Tony "Im Iron Man and Im Superior To You" Stark).

~~~

"Who gave Bucky caffeine?" Sam announced to everyone in the training room while eyeing the man, who was now finishing his latte.

"You're just a sore loser." Bucky placed the empty cup back on the table and was ready to spar with his friendly rival again. Bugging Sam was his favorite past time.

"No really, who thought that would be a good idea?" Sam didn't drop it.

The glass doors to the training room opened and you walked in, holding your tablet and flipping through the new file you just received from SHEILD headquarters. Before you could open your mouth to say anything, you were abruptly interrupted.

"It was her." Cap threw you under the bus.

"What did I do?" You whined.

And the next few seconds was a quick-fire dispute, remarks shot through the air like bullets.

"You gave Bucky coffee." Sam pointed at you.

"So?" You asked.

"That's a bad idea." Sam snapped.

"Sore loser~" Bucky sang.

"Shut up." Sam shot.

"You are a sore loser Sam" You mocked.

"Shut it!" Sam warned.

"Sooorrrreee loooser!" Bucky stretched out.

"QUIET!" Sam barked.

"I need another." Bucky sighed.

"You are not having another." Sam snapped.

"(Y/N), can I have another?"

"Bad idea" You admitted.

"Enough!" Natasha raised her voice and the arguing stopped suddenly. "God, you three are like nagging seagulls. You don't shut up."

"Sam's the seagull." Bucky made one last snarky remark, making you snort while you tried to hold in your laughter.

Before Sam could attack again, you finally spoke up. "Just got a new mission file from Fury. He says it's urgent."

Steve, Bucky, Sam, Nat, and Clint (who had been enjoying the argument quietly) all gathered around you. You projected the file into a hologram and blew it up so everyone could see.

"Security breach at a lab in France." Nat read the notes.

"So? Just a lab," Bucky shrugged, then thought about it, "right?"

You zoomed into the picture on the file, the logo looked strikingly familiar.

"Haven't we been keeping tabs on them?" Clint asked.

"We have." You worked quickly and pulled up a case file SHIELD had been watching carefully. They matched, the lab's company specialized in fusing technology into human anatomy, in the most illegal ways, sketchy black market stuff.

With a few more buttons pressed, you pulled up the live security cameras of the laboratory. There was a black van parked outside. It hit everyone.

"HYDRA." Steve breathed, and everyone knew it was important to leave to France as soon as possible.

"So who's going, Cap?" You asked, and soon everyone was looking at him with anticipation.

He didn't even need to think, he knew who he wanted. "Nat, Clint, Sam, you're with me on this one."

Those selected celebrated, there hadn't been a decent mission in a while. While those who weren't going, meaning you and Bucky, pouted.

"HA!" Sam jabbed a finger in Bucky's face. "You're not going!"

"Don't care!" Bucky shot back, pretending like it was true. It was a lie.

~~~

With some of the Avengers gone on a mission the tower was a little more quiet, probably because it was still early or because Sam and Bucky were separated. Both were very likely. With everyone else asleep, you and Bucky were the only ones up. After the others went on the mission, you decided to look through some more case files to see if you could find anything that could help down the road.

While sitting in the lounge and listening to some music, you tried to stay focused. You tried to stay awake while simultaneously trying to stay warm from the cold weather outside. It was beautiful and sunny, but it was freezing non the less. Snuggling under a blanket had proven to be a solution to only one of your problems, you were growing drowsy again. If only you had got that extra espresso shot.

Speaking of that espresso shot...

"Hey (Y/N)!"

Jumping from the sudden voice, you looked over and saw Bucky enter the lounge. The couch dipped down as he sat beside you, and he seemed to be full of energy.

"Whatcha working on?"

"Someone's cheerful this morning." You sat up and tilted your head as you spoke.

"I think it was the coffee you gave me." He chuckled.

"Yeah about that..." You started shyly, "I accidentally gave you the one with the extra espresso shot..."

It clicked in his head, "Well that explains it, I guess I couldn't taste it from how sweet it was-" He caught himself, "not that it wasn't good. I liked it. I appreciated it, thanks (Y/N)."

Regardless of his growing awkwardness, which you wanted to explode from because he was too cute, he was speaking a mile a minute.

"You alright, Buck?" You asked, "A little hyper."

"Maybe Sam was right...no more coffee for me." He admitted to himself, looking a bit sad. He must have liked the pumpkin spice latte while it lasted.

”Maybe you need to burn it off.” You suggested.

”Tried to during training, not working, still buzzed.”

“Maybe try going outside, go for a run maybe.”

He gave it a thought, then turned to you with something in his eyes. "What do you say we go for a walk? It's pretty nice outside." Bucky smiled at you.

Forget how cold it was today, going outside to hang out with Bucky was worth it.

"Sure!" You said, maybe sounding a little to enthusiastic.

”Alright, can we go now? If that’s alright?” He said shyly, practically bouncing in his seat.

”Yeah sure, no problem.” You both got up off the couch.

”Okay dress warm, meet you back here.” Bucky dashed off to get his coat. You laughed at how energized he was, and assumed this would be like taking a dog on a walk (or more like a dog taking you on a walk).

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #the winter solider x reader #the winter soilder #james barnes #captain america #the avengers #reader insert #y/n #marvel #mcu #marvel fanfiction #sam wilson

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sineala · 4 years

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I was going through an 2009 era livejournal post where it was mentioned that most of Tony's relationship were 'sexual form of self-flagellation'. With that out I love Whitney/Tony in a relationship, is there any way you can see that working out?

Oh, man, anon. This makes me regret that I have not yet posted the story that was going to be my Cap-IM RBB last year, because I literally have a 150,000-word answer to this question in the form of fanfiction. The short answer to this question is: no.

(The longer answer: HELL NO.)

If you want me to get more complicated than that, I will say that, in all fairness, there is an era of canon in which I could have seen Whitney/Tony actually working out. But that eventually ended, and for me there's a point of no return after which any chance of this being a good, healthy, or lasting relationship becomes impossible. And since then, Whitney's grasp on reality has gradually declined to the point where I don't think that she's currently mentally capable of seeing Tony as anything other than someone who could be a personal possession of hers, a thing, an object, a prize, rather than as a living human being with his own agency. (Basically, Marvel seems to have taken a look at her and thought, "Wow, she's crazy," and it's... kept getting worse. And worse.)

Let me now provide a brief summary of the Whitney/Tony relationship, because I went and read at least fifty issues so I could write the story that none of you have read yet. Anyway. This got long enough that I think I will use a Read More.

So Whitney first appears in comics way way back in Tales of Suspense v1 #97, and continues appearing in early Iron Man v1, where she meets Tony for the first time, but also has a bunch of feelings for Jasper Sitwell. (Note to MCU fans: Sitwell is not secretly Hydra. He is a big nerd, though.)

The Whitney/Tony relationship really kicks off in Iron Man v1 #17-19, one of my personal favorite arcs, in which a LMD Tony builds attempts to become Iron Man (this is always a good plot) and Whitney kidnaps Tony because she initially thinks he's the LMD, and she's working with Midas, who wants to use the LMD to infiltrate SI. It's great.

By this point Whitney has incurred her Tragic Facial Scars and has her mask, but Tony doesn't care about the scars and, as we see in #19, is clearly interested in her anyway. He's very sweet.

She appears a few times after that, basically leaves him for Sitwell, and then comes back in a big way in Iron Man v1 #91, posing as Krissy Longfellow, his new secretary. Whom he asks out, yes. Eventually Tony finds out who she is, and by Iron Man v1 #104 or thereabouts, they are definitely in love, Tony takes her to a house he grew up in, and also Whitney reveals that she knows that Tony is Iron Man. Which she is fine with.

Then they kiss very dramatically, and it is the most unintentionally-hilarious kiss I have ever seen, because neither of them take off their masks:

I like to yell CLANK CLANK whenever I read this.

By the next issue, #105, they are very seriously together:

They are together for about ten more issues, and this is the era of canon where I think it honestly could have worked out for them. Sure, Tony is contemplating abandoning being Iron Man and an Avenger, so he'd have to come around on that, but this is when they were at their healthiest, generally speaking. They were in love. They were happy. They were happy right up until #116, when Count Nefaria (Whitney's father) died, and she blamed Tony for her father's death and left him:

So I think that was pretty much it for their shot at having a stable, healthy relationship. Because after that Whitney basically... is evil. And I think there could be, as you say, an element of "sexual self-flagellation" in there, because Tony does still care for her as a person, although I don't see that he's necessarily interested in a romantic relationship with her again. He just wants her to be good again. He wants to help her be the good person he thinks she can be, but after this point she pretty much starts to lose her grip on reality, and I don't think she's capable of being that person.

Every subsequent appearance of Whitney in volume 1 was later retconned as being a clone (because comics gonna comics), but every time she shows up in it it's basically to seek revenge for the death of her father (who of course comes back to life, but that's comics for you) and also to get Tony back, because no one else could possibly love him as much as she does. She tries to kidnap Bethany Cabe. She works with Obadiah Stane against Tony. She tries to bodyswap herself into Bethany to get close to Tony. You get the idea. These are not the actions of a particularly stable person.

But one of the more agonizing things about Whitney -- at least, one of the things that I assume is most agonizing to Tony -- is that she could have been good. Maybe she can't be now, but at one point the capacity existed in her, and we know that because one of her clones, Masque, is in fact a very good person. Toward the end of volume 1, Masque actually ends up joining the Avengers. And I would think it's very hard for Tony to know about Masque and not think that Whitney could have been her, that there's some way he could have helped Whitney become that person, if only he'd known how, whether or not that is actually possible for him to do. (Hint: it's not.) I think he blames himself for not being able to save her. Maybe that's more of the same self-flagellation.

Meanwhile, Whitney does things like lock herself in a bunker in Nevada with a bunch of her clones, which does not strike me as a great move, sanity-wise. In The Nefaria Protocols in v3 (Avengers v3 #32-34, Thunderbolts v1 #43-44), she teams up with the Avengers to fight her father, but she's not sure whether she can trust them at first.

Avengers v3 #33 is actually really sympathetic toward her; the whole thing is narrated from her POV:

Eventually she ends up attempting to betray the Avengers and get them all killed, and she is stopped only when Masque shows up and sacrifices herself to prevent her doing so, at which point Whitney decides maybe she should save the Avengers after all before leaving. I think this is probably the nicest that canon has been to her in years, and she still nearly murders all the Avengers in the process.

After that she has a few other appearances, the most salient of which is probably World's Most Wanted (Invincible Iron Man v1 #8-19), in which, as we all know, she kidnaps Tony and is generally obsessed with him. Here in Invincible Iron Man v1 #16, Tony is in the middle of having his brain deleted and yet he still remembers that Whitney is not the best person, and she would really like to run away together with him because she apparently thinks that's a thing that's going to happen:

She shows up again in Bendis' run and as far as I can remember she's portrayed pretty similarly there. She's trying to steal magical artifacts. She and Tony meet up. She tries to kill him. The usual. There's a nice splash page in Invincible Iron Man v2 #2:

Her most recent relevant appearance is actually, if you can believe it, a few months ago, in Doctor Strange: Surgeon Supreme #5 and #6. Someone has been stealing magical weapons from Strange and selling them on the black market and -- surprise surprise -- it's Whitney.

(I was actually very surprised, yes. She is, uh, not typically one of Strange's villains.)

Whitney, you see, wants to be loved:

So she's selling all these weapons because, yes, she wants to be loved. By Tony.

What the hell, Whitney? How exactly is that going to work?

Anyway, Strange needs to neutralize the magical weapons, and to do that he needs to enter Whitney's mind to find the code that will do that, and, well, this is what the inside of Whitney's mind is like:

Her mind is one hundred percent made up of her obsession with Tony. This is it. This is her brain. She is a mess. She is out of touch with reality.

And you'll never guess what the code is. Or maybe you will.

She thinks that she's in love with Tony. And she thinks that this is what love is. And she is very clearly not okay.

Because Strange is a doctor and is determined to try to help people, he offers her a new mask that will heal her:

Whitney declines:

She runs away. And that's the last we have seen of her.

So, yeah. Based on all of this, I am of the opinion that Whitney/Tony cannot possibly work out at this point in canon, because -- although she still believes she loves him -- she is very obviously no longer mentally capable of understanding what love actually is, and she's not looking to change that. We have literally seen inside her mind, so we can in fact know what she thinks. She just wants to possess Tony. And that's not going to be good for anyone.

Would she have been better than this if she'd stayed with Tony instead of leaving him when her father died? Maybe. We can't know. A lot of her instability seems to revolve around her inability to possess Tony, and, well... she would have had Tony, so maybe that wouldn't have happened. Or maybe she would have become consumed by possessing him even more. There's no way to know. And given that she's capable of this kind of break with reality, it's also possible that if it hadn't been Tony, it might have been something else entirely as a focus for her delusional thinking, and at any rate she's clearly not interested in receiving the psychological help that she definitely needs.

Man, do I love reading about her, though. And someday I swear I will post this 150,000-word fic about why they should never, ever, ever get back together.

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munamania · 4 years

Text

the promise (ch. 1)

a/n: hi yes i wrote for the clown gays like a year ago and im deciding to post this now sjdghfg pls be kind

pair: richie tozier/eddie kaspbrak

word count: 8.5k

warnings: swearing, blood ment, homophobic slurs, abuse mentions, psychological trickery, richie’s parents start out a lil absent but they get better i promise

excerpt: “You’re gonna miss curfew, Rich,” Eddie mumbles, leaning out the window on his elbows. And Richie hears it: you’re alone, you know what could happen. Stay safe.

“I’m not afraid, Eds.” He means it. Richie can’t draw up what fear even feels like right then. With a flick of an eyebrow, he nods toward the door. “Mother is waiting.”

“I know.”

read on ao3

No, it’s not that Richie is gay. It’s not like he daydreams about taking it up the ass all fucking day.

Henry Bowers and his dipshit crew might have a different opinion, but they can honestly, truly suck his dick (in the non-homo way - he has taste). The fact that they took joy in throwing him and his friends around, calling them names, and threatening their whole lives never mattered before; the losers took care of each other, and most of the time it was easy to forget about those other assholes.

Being called four-eyes when he needed glasses in the second grade never got to him that bad - they were saving him from having to see their ugly faces when they knocked them off, so really, he should have thanked them - and he didn’t care when they shoved him around for being short before his growth spurt, and it didn’t even bother him that much when they mocked his totally refined voices. He knew his own talent, and what he could do with it if he could just focus.

But the first time they singled him out as the fag of the group, well, it stung.

He never told the others about that day. He never told them how long he cried, how broken he felt sobbing on that park bench. He never worked up the nerve to tell them why he couldn’t face Paul Bunyan anymore, no, he simply breezed past without lifting his eyes, without missing a beat of conversation.

At least it got easier with time.

All things considered, his home life isn’t terrible.

Richie has his own room, a roof, and usually a decently-stocked fridge. Enough to get by.

He’s left alone a lot. His parents are always at work, and when they’re not, they take on the personalities of monotonous robots sitting in front of the TV, so he spends a lot of time skimming through comics or jacking off when he’s not running around with his friends.

But, that’s just the thing. Somehow, Richie, life of every conversation, King of Comedy, Trashmouth, funny-man Tozier, was born to the most boring people of all time. They never engage with his jokes; on a good day, he receives a breezy, “That’s nice, sweetie,” from his mom, or, “Okay, that’s enough, son,” from his dad. Blank stares. Pasty, purple-tinted white eyes. Never a hug, never much past a ‘goodnight.’ Not even a simple, “How was school?” when they got home.

Richie vividly remembers the day that he bounced in his seat at the end-of-the-year ceremony at school, a bustling bundle of nerves prepared to brag and boast to his parents about his awards in science and, surprisingly (his teacher hated him) English - he took to the dramatics of Shakespeare quite well. He practiced his entrance to them several times over in his head, perhaps overly, unconvincingly modest or Shakespeare wants what I have. Anything to get a laugh. A ruffle of his hair from his dad. A forehead kiss from his mom, like when he was little.

They didn’t show. He still doesn’t know where he went wrong.

In a stark, bubbling contrast to his parents, there’s this kid in his group of friends. He remembers one of the first times they met, the boy approaching him, all sweet apple-cheeked and neat polo and ironed khaki shorts; Richie had flicked an eyebrow upward, a not-so-subtle really?, because he never figured that clean-freak Eddie Kaspbrak would be able to handle more than three seconds in Trashmouth Tozier’s presence.

But boy, was he a lot of fun.

Eddie was loud and super easily wound-up, screaming about fucking UTIs and do not fucking push me man all the piss on the walls of this city could fill the lake and despite his good-boy appearance, he shot back with just as much fire as Richie threw at him.

And fuck, Richie loves it. He loves the ease with which they bounce back and forth. He loves the fury in the boy’s eyes when Richie pisses him off, the laughter that always comes about between them once they settle. The crossing arms and pouting Eddie, who he theorizes secretly loves it when Richie calls him pet names (not that he’d ever admit it); the loud and greatly-gesticulating Eddie who yells louder and pushes harder when Richie coos at him; the one who quietly accepts Richie’s affection, and offers it back in subtle ways: simply holding Richie’s arm when he slings his arms around Eddie’s neck from behind, allowing him to sit next to him thigh-to-thigh, and overall not completely cringing and pushing him off. He took it as a compliment, though they’d never mention it out loud.

On an unfortunate night, his comfortable little world comes crashing down.

His parents are out for some sort of conference weekend trip or whatever, and they’ve called in his deadbeat uncle to ‘watch over the house.’ Not necessarily him (probably because he isn’t home that much), but the house obviously can’t stand up by itself—and, well, maybe they didn’t trust Richie to not accidentally leave the door open, or leave the stove on, or some other stupidly irresponsible little thing. So, the crusty old guy shows up with his greasy, oiled hair and his lack of deodorant and his wilting knees. It makes Richie miss Eddie so, so much when they part, because a.) he smells a lot better, and b.) it would be fucking hilarious for him to see what Richie has to put up with. Like, he’s really not the most rodent-like of his family.

Anyway, Richie doesn’t remember what he says. Something slightly instigative, about the lack of any gourmet-level food in the house (he claimed calmly while wasting away on microwave tater tots and bread, even though his parents had left behind plenty of money to keep him alive), and then suddenly hands were on him.

It stings like a bitch.

His uncle gets up, with a quiet mumble that Richie makes out to be, “Well, let’s see…” and when he finally gets in the kitchen, facing Richie with eyes rung red and shaking fists, he grabs his nephew by a fistful of t-shirt and shoves him against the counter.

At that moment, he really wants his mom. Why the fuck did she and dad leave him with this guy?

“I don’t see you fucking working, or doing much of anything around here, kiddo.”

“Funny, I was gonna say the same to you.”

A blow to his mouth. Richie resists the urge to lift trembling fingers to the spot that he can feel swelling.

“Don’t talk to me like that, asshole! You think you’re so fucking funny, huh?” His uncle drags him forward and shoves him back with conviction, and this time Richie doesn’t answer.

He should have known to stay quiet when he saw his uncle drinking and smoking incessantly in the house, even though his mother had requested that he stay outside for that. It must have been a rough day at the bar, or wherever the fuck he spent his time.

“You need to learn when to be quiet, dipshit. Have some fucking respect.”

For the guy who ignored him for years, didn’t stay in touch, and wasted his existence away on the couch.

Right.

But Richie is snapped from his indignant, grounding thoughts when his uncle lowers his voice. “Do I make myself clear?”

Richie frowns in his face, utterly confused from the swell of attention, still limply holding a bag of bread in his left hand.

“Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-yes sir.”

The wretched man makes a point to push him into the corner of the cupboards with such a force that he collapses to his knees and can just feel the bruises forming. And he sits there for a minute, all sorts of betrayal and anger and sadness suffocating him.

But he stands up.

And with stinging eyes, a stuffy nose, and shaking hands, he makes himself a simple peanut butter sandwich.

And he stays upstairs for the remainder of the night

It’s a warm, soothing day outside; the sun glows and birds are chirping like some kind of fucking cartoon. In the tall grass the losers sit in frogs croak and crickets chirp and they make a mess of themselves in the circle they form.

“Damn, Rich, what happened to you?” comes Stan’s voice, concerned eyes flashing down to his now royally fucked-up mouth.

“Yeah, dude, what the fuck?” says Bev through a sandwich, truly a charmer.

Richie grins at Bev but answers to Stan, ignoring the sting in the corner of his lips. “Guess I’m a fighter at heart.”

“Richie—“

Bev chimes in once again, a bright, snarky grin on her face, “Richie, you can tell us if it was another accident, we won’t judge. Promise.”

Bev has a way about her; he knows she’s not genuinely the largest, most gaping asshole on earth, and that she actually cared a lot and cried over her friends in the darkest nights, but she also knew how to make light of something dark (even the worst). She probably knew. She probably just had his back in her own funny way, like taking the pressure off the reality.

“Bev, I’ve really, truly, always appreciated your charm, but as my dearest favorite person on earth, fuck off.”

“Richie,” Bill says, then hesitates. In that time, Bev flips Richie the bird, which he answers with an air kiss. “What really h-ah-happened?” He looks him over with a frown, clear blue eyes swallowing him in concern and maybe love.

Richie offers a simple smirk before settling against the trunk of a tree. “Don’t worry about it, Billiam. I’ve got it under control.”

“Whatever you say,” Bev says. She tosses a baggie over to him with his favorite sandwich.

Stan isn’t so easily convinced, eyeing Richie up carefully, but he sits with Bev on the boulder she’s settled on when Richie doesn’t falter in his casual disposition.

It takes a lot of work, as always.

Ben shows up moments later, with a calm and tender, “You alright, Rich?” and when Richie goes off on a stupid tough-guy spiel, he simply lays at the foot of the boulder and flicks open a book, meeting Richie with one of his melting smiles, a gentle invitation, a sweet If you ever need it, I’m there, but allowing him the space to go on as normal. Which is nice.

Richie knows they all care. He knows he could tell them, could pour all of the terror and tragedy he felt the night before into the air and they’d fill up the space; Mike would give him the tightest hug in the world, one to combat the most heinous of things; Stan would sit with him as long as he needed it, Bev would come through with a smoke and the best advice in the world, and Ben would tell him stories or just hang out with him until everything felt a bit lighter, and Bill would give him anything in the world because Richie would do it back. That’s the way they were.

But he can’t do it.

“Sorry I’m late guys,” comes a nasally voice, huffing and puffing, new pressure leaning against the tree, and Richie grins. Eddie.

“It’s okay, Eds,” he says, reaching over a few fingers to tickle Eddie’s knee, giggling when the boy smacks at his hand and doubles over with an exclamatory, Richie!

The others offer a few sleepy greetings, all soaked up in their own forms of entertainment for the quiet afternoon: Bev and Ben, heads close enough to share his walkman; Stan, reading some lengthy oath to birds or something; Mike snoozing lightly on Bill’s shoulder while Bill pores over some adventure map from a fantasy novel.

They had all agreed that it was too tiresome to go swimming today, as the previous night was spent out at Stan’s with a bonfire, and for a few of them, some stolen booze (not very much, but enough that they could pretend to be drunk and giggle profusely). But they still wanted to hang out, so this was the middle ground. An afternoon picnic in the shade.

Eddie quickly notices his lip and drops down to his side. “Richie, what happened to you? Was it Bowers again? I swear to god, I will fucking kill that guy--”

Richie smiles softly at the protective words, and tries to turn it into a smirk. “Eddie, baby, don’t worry,” he says. “It’s just a little bump.”

Surprisingly, Eddie sidles up next to him, using the pad of his thumb to press at the sides of Richie’s mouth, apparently assessing some sort of damage. “Don’t call me that.” He scowls. “What did you do? Did you ice it? Clean this cut at all? Cause you could get an infection, you know, you really should clean it.”

Richie bats his eyes. “Clean it for me, sweets?”

“Fuck off. Forget I cared.”

“Ah, come on, Spaghettio. I didn’t mean it.” He pulls Eddie down with a simple gesture, pressing his palm to the boy’s shoulder and dragging. The boy rests against the trunk, nestled in Richie’s side.

But that’s the complicated thing. He sorta wishes he could mean it. In a small, poking-at-the-back-of-his-head-always kind of way.

“Just—tell me what happened,” Eddie pipes up quietly from his side.

When Richie glances down, he takes to heart how disgruntled Eddie still looks, crossing his arms and almost pouting.

He shrugs. “Your mother was simply affronted by how good I am with my mouth, Eds, she couldn’t take it anymore.”

Eddie presses his mouth into a line, rolls his eyes at the stupid British voice Richie had developed, and busies himself with a thrilling edition of The Lancet

Later, as dusk settles in and pale purple skies replace the bright blue, and the club leaves with simple ‘goodbye’s and promises to do something fun tomorrow, Eddie shifts from his nap. He’d passed out with his head slammed back against Richie’s arm (he’d caught it just before he fell to the ground, avoiding a lengthy rant about potential concussions and medical bills), curled in the opposite direction from Richie’s abdomen. As he wakes, through, he rolls over, elbow digging into Richie’s side.

“Ah-ow,” Richie groans, sitting up from his cataconic state of reading Ben’s stolen comics and avoiding moving and waking Eddie. But he’d just dug the pointiest part of his entire firecracker body into Richie’s ribs, where Richie had attempted and failed to nurse a bruise he’d accrued from a vicious cupboard corner. It was at an awkward angle, and he refused to go down to get more ice packs once they melted, so he slept unsoundly and laid uncomfortably.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles, voice muddled with sleep. “Shit, it’s late. When did I fall asleep? My mom’s gonna kill me.”

Even in that gurgly, world upside-down state of post-nap consciousness, the boy freaks out about his mother. Richie sighs and rubs his shoulder.

“You’re all good, Eddie boy,” he attempts for a creaky, witchy voice, but it’s half-assed because he gets so tired of this lady. Not Eddie ranting, that was fine, and he knew the kid needed to get it out of his system; but he was fucking tired of Mrs. K hurting his boy. “You took your meds on time, fell asleep shortly after. Might need to amputate my arm now, though.”

His boy.

Eddie sits up, and Richie stares at his back, illuminated in the dusk, because he wore a fun yellow today, resting prettily against his tanned, freckled skin.

(Maybe Richie had looked over, amused, for a few moments, as Eddie snored and twitched his nose in his sleep; and he counted the freckles on Eddie’s arm, his cheek, whatever he could see for entertainment.)

Eddie glances back at him, and Richie distracts himself with his bag, shifting his eyes awkwardly from the boy’s gaze.

“Well, well, good sir, shall I walk you home on this fine night?”

Eddie’s brow furrows. “Richie, what’s that?”

His eyes are trained intently on the aforementioned bruise, and its cousins that pepper his hips, only exposed because he slipped and let his shirt ride up when he bent over.

He clears his throat, scrambling for some dumbass answer, wholeheartedly unprepared for the severity of this conversation. “You know how the ladies throw themselves—“

“Okay, you know what, fine.” Eddie stands quickly, stumbling slightly, and braces himself against the tree. “You don't have to fucking tell me. Just come home with me, okay?”

“A night with Eddie Kaspbrak? Why, you’re really a dream-come-true kind of guy.”

“Your lip is bleeding again,” he responds simply, apparently not one for fun at this very moment. “I can clean it.”

Richie pops up from the ground, feeling quite pip pip, tally ho about the whole thing. “Righty-o, Eddie boy.

That’s how he ends up sitting on the edge of Eddie’s porcelain-white bathtub, dirtying it with his messy jeans and dirt-coated nails.

It takes a lot of strategic planning, lots of sneaking past Mrs. K, and then sweet-talking and kisses from Eddie once she wakes up freaking out about how late he was. But, after about fifteen minutes of contest-worthy screeching from the woman, Eddie stomps up the stairs, slams the door with a very I’m gonna pull my hair out look, and has to take about three extra minutes to compose himself, ranting under his breath.

Richie just stares at his distorted reflection in the shining silvery faucet, the violet under his eyes and the renewed puffiness of his lip, Hawaiian pattern of his shirt disheveled in the odd mirror.

He knows not to engage unless Eddie actually speaks up to him, meaning this run-in was probably just overly grating and mentally draining, considering, well, how his mother is. He just needs a second to get it out, not any kind of heartfelt talk (which Richie sucks at anyway) or even a lighthearted joke. The boy paces and growls into a fist. Then, eventually, he breathes, “Okay.”

Eighteen minutes. Eighteen minutes of sitting around and waiting for Eddie, just for him to kneel in front of Richie, doe eyes clear and focused, dabbing so, so gently at his battered lip.

In a way, it’s heaven.

“I take it your mom can’t wait for me to buy dinner, eh?”

Eddie sighs. “Apparently this time I’m gonna contract malaria, Rich, didn’t you know? There’s an incredible outbreak this time of year and I’m obviously not prepared to avoid fucking mosquitoes, what with my fifteen bottles of bug spray and essential oils. I’ll probably die tomorrow!”

“I will make sure that your funeral is a fucking rager dude, don’t you worry. Booze on me.”

A ghost of a smile.

“Richie…” he breathes out in a long winded way, saying nothing and everything for way too long. “Why don’t you stay here tonight?”

Richie raises an eyebrow. “Man, I thought you were gonna back out on your previous offer, but I guess the call for a night with Richie Tozier is too much to back away from. I get it.” He smiles painfully at the way Eddie’s face crumples with something like boredom. “Christ, dude, what’s your poison?” He makes a face at the antiseptic substance that trickles into his mouth.

“Maybe if you kept your mouth shut for once, this wouldn’t be an issue.”

Richie beams, which just causes Eddie to huff even more.

“Please, just stay still!

“It was my uncle,” Richie finally says, forcing a bored expression onto his face as he flips through a rather dull magazine, sprawled on Eddie’s bed. “And it wasn’t a big deal.”

Panic flashes across Eddie’s face. His cheeks burn red, and his leg jitters anxiously against Richie’s, but his voice remains level, which Richie thanks dear lordy Jesus for. “Your uncle? He hit you?”

“Well,” Richie pauses. “Uh, kinda. He was just really drunk, Eds, and he got mad and I was in the way.”

“In the way?”

He shrugs, a small smile quirking his lip up. “Am I not usually?”

“Rich.” Eddie’s voice is really soft in that moment, gentler and quieter than anything Richie has heard from him in all the time he’s known his fellow loudmouth. It simultaneously terrifies and thrills him. Eds. Eddie brings his knees to his chest, leaning back against the headboard. “You say a lot of dumb shit, but that doesn’t mean you should be hurt.” He must notice Richie’s uncomfortable look, because he adds lightly, “Most of the time, anyway.”

“Woah, Eddie, don’t go overboard with the kindness or anything--”

“Damn it, Richie.” He casts his eyes downward. “I’m just trying to say - um - thanks for telling me. Sorry if that’s fucked up to say, but I know you didn’t want to, so, yeah. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

Richie swallows deeply with a slow nod, focusing his eyes on the blurry words in front of him. “Well, if there’s anyone I’d tell, it’s Dr. K. He’s gonna be the one to save my life, right?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Right.” He kicks at Richie’s foot, a subtle way of telling him to move over so he can get under the covers.

“Night, toots.”

“Goodnight, Richie.

Richie thinks he knows everything possible about Eddie thus far.

He knows when he needs to take his meds, an internal clock he recently developed; he knows that the boy is not nearly as fragile as he sometimes seems, and if he really tried, he could pack a punch; he knows that he loves fervently and he’ll always take care of his friends, even if it’s in a way that would usually disgust him.

Case in point: he didn’t seem to freak out at Richie’s bleeding lip, even when a steady stream of blood started dripping down his chin from the contact of trying to clean it out, though he usually cringed if he got so much as a scratch from a twig. Somehow, some way, he simply held pressure on the wound and told Richie to hold some ice on it (“Ordering me around now, hot stuff? I can work with that,”), and washed his own hands thoroughly in the sink.

What he doesn’t know until that night, is that Eddie is a cuddler. At least, half-asleep, groggy Eddie is. Like, this kid must be more starved for affection than he is. Richie had curled himself in a ball toward the edge of the mattress, willing himself not to do so much as even press his back against Eddie’s, way too afraid of the ease with which two people can tangle themselves together in the night, terrified of what would happen if he woke up with Eddie’s hands on him, wrapped up in Eddie, Eddie’s terrible morning breath against his cheek, Eddie Eddie Eddie. But while Richie had stressed himself into falling halfway off the bed, Eddie had flopped over in his sleep, slung an arm across Richie’s waist and, seeming to sense that he had something to hold, pulled him in tight to his chest. Though Richie’s breath caught in his throat, he figured, well, no one could really see them then, so what was the harm in passing out like that? No one had to know. He could pass it off like he’d been sleeping the whole time.

But he cherishes every fucking minute of it

Richie wakes to the sound of something pounding, a steady beat, and in that state of slowly waking from a dream he thinks it’s some old drum, playing lowly in the corner by some restless figure. When he comes to, his eyes creaking open slowly, he sees the gentle orange-ish hue of the morning sky, the neat room around him, the scent of detergent and soothing fabric softener wafting near his face. And he realizes his head is tucked into Eddie’s side, the boy’s slowed heartbeat thumping softly against his ear.

Normally, he’d just let Eddie sleep, as he’s usually only the asshole waking everyone up when it’s the whole gang. He doesn’t mind spending a few hours by himself in the morning. In fact, he enjoys the opportunity to try to fall back asleep (even though he never does).

But with a sudden impulse, he lays a palm on Eddie’s ribcage and pushes himself up onto his elbows, then shakes the boy.

“Eddie.”

A muffled, “Mmph?”

“Eds, wake up.”

The boy drags a pillow over his ears for all of two seconds before Richie tickles his stomach. Then he crankily sits up and lets out a gruff, “What?”

Richie grins. “The sunrise, Eds! Look, it’s so pretty, you have to believe me.”

Eddie responds by laying his cheek on Richie’s shoulder blade, slumping forward with his eyes still closed. “You do know,” he breathes, “that if the sun is just rising, it’s like, six a.m.?”

“Hmm, 5:49, but close enough, I suppose.”

The most huffy breath that Eddie can manage at this hour tickles the hairs on the back of Richie’s neck. “Did you know that people who don’t sleep enough die a lot younger? There are serious health consequences.” It doesn’t come out in his usual fiery, punctuated tone; it’s soft and filled with a yawn and he’s pretty sure Eddie might fall back asleep just like that. “You can’t die early on me, Richie. And I don’t want to. Go back to sleep.” He peeks one eye open at the window, squinting at the glow of the sun. “It is pretty, though.” With that, he falls back against the pillow and curls into a ball against the wall.

And Richie’s pretty damn sure in that moment that he’s, like, in love

And, sure, that’s terrifying.

He has no one to talk to about it and nothing could convince him it’s normal, so he shrugs it off and pretends it isn’t there.

Cause that’s a good way to cope, right?

It doesn’t matter that Eddie is so easily comfortable with him—he’s a low-pressure person, is all. And no one had called out the way pet names rolled off Richie’s tongue so easily, because that was just a part of his joke. Normal. Easy.

Until it wasn’t

You see, there’s this bitch Pennywise. This idiot clown terrorizes his friends, kills people, haunts their nights and days, and fucks with their minds. Tries to turn them against each other. And they can’t even throw a jest back! It’s a sick system.

Well, anyway, the losers end up in some crickety, wooden, falling-apart-at-the-seams murder house on Neibolt, because Bill wants to find his brother and none of them are willing to abandon him. Instead, Richie gets to see himself dead, face off with a monstrous fucking clown, and hear heart-wrenching screams from Eddie that he can’t even help, because he can’t get out.

When he does, he reunites with Stan and Bill, using the few seconds he has to catch his breath.

Just as quickly, he loses it.

In front of him lies Eddie, arm twisted at the ugliest, most heinous angle, and not only is he probably in pain and freaking out about the arm, but a 7-foot tall clown is sauntering towards him with a stupid swaggering gait, like it knows that they can’t do anything to save Eddie.

Eddie.

The boy cowers against dust and fallen wood that must be itching to give him splinters; tears streak down his dirty face and his chest rises and falls rapidly, as Pennywise taunts him. Fucking horses around, making stupid noises and joking while Eddie falls apart, and Richie doesn’t know how to save him, even after everything Eddie’s done for him. Richie is vaguely aware of Stan grasping his shoulder, trying to ground him, and he silently thanks him as he glances around for fucking anything to use as a weapon, because he certainly can’t jump into this blindly--

Then Beverly busts into the room and stabs the bitch in the head, and Richie can’t think but his feet are moving and he lands in front of Eddie in the few seconds’ time he has to play catch-up. He reminds himself to remind Bev of just how much he loves her later.

For now, though, his focus is Eddie. His ears are ringing and he’s noted the commotion going on behind him, he even realizes that Bill ends up at his side, but his gaze is right on his Eds, grasping at his face, trying to do anything to help him.

“Eds. No, no, no! Look at me! It’s okay. Please be okay.” He steadies his voice and tries really hard not to think about how much he sucks as a caretaker, how he has no fucking clue what to do, but he’s scared and he desperately just wants to take Eddie from the room and keep him safe, forever and ever.

Terror-filled eyes find him as the clown continues toward the three of them, flexing horrendous claws; Richie kneels in front of Eddie and Bill’s at his back, and Richie knows Eddie acknowledges him but he’s whimpering and shaking and staring back at the clown. And Pennywise is thriving.

“Eds,” he says, louder, grabbing Eddie’s chin and forcing it in his direction. “Please just - fuck the clown, okay? Fuck everything. It’s me and you. I’ve got you.” And he’d probably be much more convincing if he weren’t shouting and clinging to Eddie’s shoulders like it means death.

But, he seems to capture the boy’s attention, as he keeps his eyes steadily on Richie and blinks a few times. “My arm!” he cries. “Fuck, I can’t fucking move. I’m gonna die. It hurts, Rich.”

“Hey, you’re not gonna die. I don’t die early on you, you don’t die early on me. That’s the deal.”

“Some deals are made to be broken.”

Eddie is just staring at him, blank eyes staring through him with a grin, a stark contrast to the screaming that was going on just moments before. A surge of panic rises in Richie’s chest, like a freezing wind knocking through his stupid little preteen body. He shakes his head in confusion.

“Eddie, shut up. It’s just your arm. You’re gonna be fine!”

A shrug. “Who’s to say?” And then he sits up, arm convulsing at his side like some dying snake, and Richie flinches and flies back into Bill’s chest. He can’t do this. He can’t help Eddie like he should, he can’t take care of him like he wants to. He’s a coward.

“Rich.” Bill is a million miles away.

Right here, right now, is that thing in Eddie’s place, body rattling like a rag doll. “They’ll find out.” Eddie’s voice is fucked up, scratchy, and his eyes are all wrong; the way he’s staring at him is fucking uncanny. “Get too touchy, Rich, and you know what’ll happen.”

“Stop, please, fucking stop!”

“Richie!” Bill is finally right there, shaking both of his shoulders from behind. “S-stop. You’re f-f-fine. It’s just fucking with your head.”

It takes a few deep breaths, but Richie turns to him and says a quick, ‘Thanks,’ before turning back to real-Eddie, who is now dry-heaving and wailing at the sight of his arm.

Eddie’s chest thrusts forward and back rapidly, and he keeps trying to back further from the bedlam in front of them. His face contorts into an absolutely heart-wrenching cry, and as he looks at Richie, gripping his hand with an iron fist, Richie’s heart splits in two. It’s hard, it’s way too hard not to say I love you, after all that. And it’s hard not to run.

“I don’t wanna die - ”

Richie crawls closer to cradle Eddie’s head. “Eddie, if you die I’ll kill you.” He wants to go home, he wants to cry, he wants to sleep for about three days and pretend this never happened. But he can’t. He has to be here for Eddie, as much as he wants to flee right now. “You’re not going to, you know that? I still owe you ice cream. And I’m gonna get you inside the arcade—“

“Fuck the arcade!”

Somehow, in all of the fuckery going on, Richie laughs. “That’s the spirit!” Eddie, in a scramble to back away from the startle of Pennywise running away, shifts into Richie’s lap. “Okay, Eddie, breathe.” Richie gulps down a breath himself. “I’m gonna snap your arm back into place.”

Eddie’s eyes light up, completely on fire, spitting poison at Richie. “Rich! Do not fucking touch me!”

Richie winces at the words but he hears Bev screaming, “Richie, his arm!” and uses the moment of yelling to just do it, to get Eddie’s arm back to a relatively normal shape, and then he’s screaming and it’s like he wants Richie to cry in front of everyone.

“Okay okay okay, it’s done. No more.” Richie, awkward and lost at what to do, brushes back sweaty hair from Eddie’s forehead, because he’s pretty sure the boy would hate how sticky everything had gotten, and if he could help even one thing, well, it’s something.

He wishes he could help carry Eddie home, sit with him in the hospital, anything to cheer him up.

But he doesn’t get the chance. Mrs. K is outside and snatches Eddie from the losers in the flash of an eye, talking like they broke his fucking arm or something.

That’s when it all goes downhill

Richie storms away from his stupid feud with Bill, the fucking dumbass who punched him in the face because he said he didn’t want a clown to kill him and his friends. He thinks it’s the most reasonable thing he’s ever said, objectively, but whatever. He doesn’t want to lose his friends. But in that moment, he doesn’t see many other options.

When he trudges back home after his third day alone at the arcade, following newly-formed muscle memory to avoid his uncle (close the door slowly, shift weight and run upstairs, wait at least twenty minutes to go back down for food in case he stirs), he notices another car. Immediately, Richie throws open the doors, calling out, “Mom!” and finds her in the kitchen, with his uncle.

“Hey sweetie, I just got home—“ she startles at the sight of him.

“Jeez, that bad?” he jokes, running a hand through his hair. “Just remember, mom, half of this is ‘cause of you.”

She approaches him quickly, summer blazer flowing behind her from the speed, and crouches down just slightly to be at eye-level. “Richie, honey, what did you do to your lip?” she asks. He doesn’t realize right away, but he tilts his head into her touch, and she strokes his cheek gently.

Richie had forgotten about the whole ordeal—his friends almost dying at the hands of a killer clown was pretty damn distracting from his low-life uncle—but now, he sets a spitting glare on the man leaning back and manspreading at their kitchen table.

“Uncle Alan had a few kind words to say over dinner the other night.”

Her tender touch to his face is lost when she whips around to face his uncle, and Richie feels like a little kid again, standing behind his mom and clutching at her coat while she takes care of everything.

“You hit him?” she says, her voice threatening in a low mumble, teeth clenched together. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You touched my kid?” She holds back a hand as though to shield Richie as she slams her other fist on the table.

“How do you know it wasn’t one of his faggy friends? Or maybe some other kid with common fucking sense?”

She leans down and takes him by the front of his shirt. “Don’t you dare, Alan. What the fuck were you thinking?”

Uncle Alan yells back in her face, spit flying, and Richie would jump forward to defend her if she weren’t holding him back so protectively (with one hand!). “Listen, Maggie, if he’s gonna act like that, I’m just preparing him for the real world.”

“You absolute shit! You don’t get to make that decision!” Richie has never, ever seen his mother so angry. “You battered a twelve year old boy! What, do you feel really big now, you pathetic piece of shit? Get the fuck out of my house!” At this point, she’s shaken him and thrown him back against the chair so he falls, catching himself just in time as it cascades to the ground.

“Fuck you, Maggie!”

She follows him down the hall.

“Fuck you!” Richie calls out at his retreating back, before his mother screams about pressing charges and slams the door behind him.

Richie’s mom rushes back into the kitchen to face him. She’s red in the face, eyes on fire, but she softens at the sight of him.

“Richie, sweetheart, I’m sorry we left you.” She cradles his face again. “Hey.” She holds him with both hands. “Listen. If anyone ever hurts you, you call me. If anyone ever so much as threatens you, Rich - ”

Richie, choked up, interjects, “I didn’t know the number, mom. I don’t know where the little paper you wrote it on is, I’m sorry—“

“It’s okay.” She looks at him for a few more moments, then swaddles him up in a big, mama bear hug. “I love you, kid. I hope you know that.”

“I love you too.”

For a few minutes, she just holds him, stroking his back while silent tears fall down his face and onto the chest of her shirt. She doesn’t seem to mind

It’s late. Richie doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he’s on top of the world.

He ends up at Eddie’s house, even though he knows they’re not talking and Eddie’s mom might kill him on sight, he has to see him. Mrs. K can go fuck herself.

Outside the boy’s bedroom window, he raps quietly with his knuckles, just about buzzing with a high, high feeling toward life. He can see Eddie lying in bed, struggling to prop up a book to read, lamplight cascading onto his skin - that is, until he hears Richie, and flies toward the window with a crazed look.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie asks, brows knitting together. “My mom will kill you if she hears you.”

That doesn’t matter so much to him at that moment. “Eddie!” He swings his legs over the banister and jumps into the room, adrenaline and something like love pushing him to lift Eddie to his chest and spin. “Eds, my mom came home early and she kicked that motherfucker out of my house!”

Eddie’s eyes are crazed from the spinning and he clings to Richie’s shoulder with his good hand; and he grins, a giggle caught in his lips. “That’s great, Richie. Fuck that guy.”

“Yeah, fuck him! And god Eddie, she - she protected me, and we just spent hours together, watching movies and making dinner like old times, and it was amazing, and - god, I know I sound like a dork, but I - ”

He pauses, mostly because he’s out of breath from machine-gunning a paragraph out of nowhere; but also because in his flustered state he didn’t register the sweet-cheeked smile that Eddie is currently melting him with.

But when he does, Richie thinks to himself: sure, blue eyes are great; they can be compared to the sky or the ocean or whatever other cheesy nature bit all goddamn day. But Eddie’s eyes - hell, he doesn’t care if he sounds like a cornball - they’re fucking amazing. They usurp all of that bullshit. He’s used to them when they’re blown wide in surprise, or holding him in a steely glare for some dumb joke, and he loves them then; but right now he catches a kind of tenderness hidden in the dark. Something that envelops him in warmth and pinks his cheeks.

Eddie takes the opportunity to pipe up. “Richie,” he says, “I’m really happy for you.”

He means it. Richie knows he means it, because for the last several days, he’s heard Eddie mumbling to himself somewhat privately about ‘that piece of shit,’ and right now he’s clutching Richie’s sleeve and smiling without a trace of mockery.

And he’s perfect.

His tousled hair that’s rustled from what looks to have been a constant stream of fingers, stressed over the book or his mom or god-knows-what; the oversized t-shirt he’s drowning in and short shorts and perfectly matched socks; and those shining eyes and friendly smile and soft fucking hands that hold all the electricity of Richie’s excitement - all perfect.

And Richie, Richie could just kiss him.

He doesn’t.

Mrs. K knocks at the door.

“Eddie bear, it’s time for your nighttime oils!”

Richie cracks a wise-ass smile. “Eddie bear, if I’d known you needed nighttime oils, well, I would have come prepared.”

“Get the fuck out,” Eddie says. The laughter catching on his lips tells another story.

Richie throws an utterly charming wink in his direction and crouches in the window, preparing to jump out and make his escape.

“Wait!” Eddie grabs the back of Richie’s t-shirt. “It’s cool that you stopped by. It’s - it’s been lonely in this hellhole. I might have gone insane if I thought you guys forgot about me.”

“Aw, I’d never forget you, cutie.” Richie, stomach twisting and turning, supports himself with his forearm on the outside of the window. “And, anyway, I gotta practice my Romeo somewhere, right?”

Eddie lets out a characteristic huff. “Whatever.”

It’s quiet, save for the distant tweeting crickets, and the scent wafting through the nighttime is intoxicating, and for the following moments the world reminds them to just breathe.

“You’re gonna miss curfew, Rich,” Eddie mumbles, leaning out the window on his elbows. And Richie hears it: you’re alone, you know what could happen. Stay safe.

“I’m not afraid, Eds.” He means it. Richie can’t draw up what fear even feels like right then. With a flick of an eyebrow, he nods toward the door. “Mother is waiting.”

“I know.” He smiles. “I’ll see you, Tozier.”

Richie, without any reservations (until he thinks back on it later), reaches out as though to pinch Eddie’s cheek, but instead, runs his thumb along Eddie’s cheekbone. “See ya, Eds.” He smiles. “I’m gonna get you out of here someday.”

Eddie shakes his head as Richie takes his hand away from Eddie’s newly red cheeks and makes his way back to the ground, muttering, “My hero.”

And Richie looks back with a grin at the silhouette of the dork in the window, saluting before taking off

It sucks when Beverly leaves.

It’s an early morning, red and orange hues breaking across the skyline like a cracked egg, and Richie, Stan, and Ben all gather around to watch her disappear off to the nearest airport, and then disappear from them forever. Though it’s not nearly as mopey and depressing as it could have been, it’s hard to watch her go; a warm energy follows her as she hugs them all goodbye, looking at them with her all-knowing, crooked little smile, rolling her eyes but expressing more love than any of them had ever known, and Richie knows she means every word of loving and missing that she says. And he knows he’ll miss her more than anything.

He does. Not much helps with the pain of missing someone, but as the days go by, pieces of her slowly slip from his mind, until finally she’s all gone

New Years offers promises of ‘new me’s and resolutions and maybe some kind of peace. And considering everything, it’s the saving grace Richie thinks he needs.

A chance to forget his uncle, the murderous clown that haunts his dreams, and his personal revelation that he loves Eddie Kaspbrak.

It didn’t ruin their friendship by any means, just made his cheeks flush and heart throb and his rebuttals come back stutter-y when Eddie merely smiled at him. It was stupid textbook puppy love. He never thought he’d fall for that.

And, he’s not gay. He can’t be, or he’ll have to pay the price.

It's just that Eddie is his best friend. They’re all best friends, but Eddie never really stopped engaging with his exhausting jokes like the others, when it was finally too much. Eddie always bickered back, he took the bait and bit back. Eddie took him home when he got hurt and cared for him and then went right back to fighting.

He loves Eddie the way he should love someone like Bev.

But it’s nothing.

The night is cutting, crisp with a fresh wintery bitterness, biting at Richie’s nose until it’s practically bleeding. To be fair, he’d opted to only wear one of his lighter jackets and some gloves, so it’s his own fault that his scalp is freezing over and he’s shaking on his way to the loser’s little spot in the meadow.

At least his friends are smart.

Stan sports a matching tartan hat and scarf, bundled up around his face so only the pinkish tip of his nose is poking out; Bill has a nice puffy coat and a hat with a bauble rested atop his head; Ben’s ushanka hat is wrapped tightly under his chin, and he waves at Richie with mittens keeping his hands warm; Mike is representing a lot of fleece, and he grins at Richie, shaking his head when he sees his lack of winter clothes; and then there’s Eddie, wearing a coat that has to be at least an extra large, and a knitted cap, bundled up so only his fussy eyes and nose are squinting out at Richie.

In Richie’s defense, he was running late, and he had sprouted a little bit in the last few months, so his previously comfortable winter coat was now tight and painful in the shoulders and chest. This jacket was his best option in the 30-second long window he had to get dressed and run out the door to attempt to be on time.

Stan levels a look at him, thoroughly appreciating his idiocy, and obviously not pitying his shaking form more than a quick flash of sympathy in his eyes; he cares, but Richie obviously brought this upon himself. The ensuing cold would be his own fault, and he’d call Stan to complain, just to grin quietly as the boy went on the calmest rant about how stupid he is and then hang up. It’s just how they worked.

Richie wonders if he’d tell a potential partner that they should have brought a coat to a date if they complained of the temperature. It’s beside the point, but amusing.

“C’mon man, you didn’t think about a scarf at least?” Mike says as a greeting, laughing a little bit as he removes his own and wraps it messily around Richie’s neck. In that moment, Richie would give up his life for this kid. The body heat/fleece combo immediately brings him back from the brink of a nosebleed.

“Richie doesn’t think, period.” Stan sticks his hands in his pockets and stares at him, ghosts of amusement playing on his cheeks.

Richie flashes his teeth in a big ol’ grin. “That’s pretty accurate, actually, I just wanted to be with you guys on time so badly, you know.”

Bill lets out a small, unenthused, “Aww.”

Richie simply chuckles and tries to wrap his fingers in Mike’s scarf to help with the inevitable hypothermia. Eddie winds up next to him in their gathering, sucking in a big breath through his nostrils and huffing out shortly.

He bumps Eddie’s arm with his elbow and says, “What’s up with you, Eds?”

Eddie nearly topples over from the size of the coat weighing him down, and he curses under his breath before standing back up and glaring at Richie. “You really didn’t wear a bigger coat, dumbass?”

“As you can see, no,” Richie chuckles.

Eddie presses his tongue into his cheek. “Well, you can share mine. It’s more than big enough.”

Oh.

Right, sharing a coat. That’s fine. No pressure or anything.

Richie aims for a cool response, some funny voice or smooth and subtle, and lands on, “Yeah, cool. Thanks.”

So, they share. And it’s pretty great.

Eddie unzips it and pulls Richie in, and they collaborate to pull it up and then Richie is pressed up against Eddie’s side, in public, already sweating even though he’s still cold because he doesn’t know if he can handle this.

Fortunately, they’re hidden by the dark, so maybe the boy or their friends won’t notice his red cheeks (or they’ll chalk it up to the cold) and the extra focus he has to place on acting normal. Because Eddie smells nicer than most boys their age, and he’s got a heart too big for his body, and Richie’s sure that Eddie loves him back in at least some way. It’s not just anyone that would get to be this close, squeezed into a coat with him.

Richie feels sick.

But the fireworks are starting, and they might be sparse and lackluster in the hell that is Derry, but each loser looks to the sky with love, with appreciation, in awe of the fact that something beautiful can apparently come from hell.

Barely, just barely, Eddie’s head falls against Richie’s shoulder as they gaze up into the inky black sky illuminated by cakes of fireworks, and he whispers, “Wow,” under his breath right next to Richie’s ear, and now Richie’s contemplating between the two possible causes of his death: he combusts, or he stops breathing - to be determined.

Richie begs the universe for advice in the ultimate predicament. And to his great relief, memories seep back into his brain; those of freckled cheeks, teeth balancing a cig as a mouth talks, and bundles of ginger curls bouncing as her head turns in his direction.

“Bev would love this.”

Riche catches the way Ben looks over at him pretty much immediately - at them, sharing body heat in Eddie’s coat - and then how the boy stares at the ground and mumbles a soft, “Yeah.” He looks back at Richie, holds his eye contact for a sweet, lingering moment, then gazes back at the sky, hopefully thinking of love as much as Richie is.

Bill, Mike, and Stan all follow, tearing their eyes away briefly to make quick eye contact with each other, and then Richie, and Eddie even shifts to look up at him, and they all smile wistfully as though the girl is there with them, snarky remarks and toothy smiles keeping them all afloat. Richie feels like he’s going to break open and cry enough to fill the whole universe, so he sniffles and looks back up at the sky, breaking the moment of magic.

But it remains with them.

It remains as they share this together, as they enter the new year together, promising hope for a happier future as long as they stick with each other.

And it remains as Eddie Kaspbrak takes his hand under the coat and murmurs, “Happy new year, Richie.”

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it 2017 #fanfiction #fluff #angst #sharing a bed #pining #new years #summer #mine #gosh i hope this isnt too dorky sfhdgjhsdfg

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happikattwuzheere · 4 years

Text

the one where gansey befriends a deer: the au

hey remember that time ronan dreamed up a deer that was described with language suspiciously similar to how adam’s described, because i sure do!!! anyway

OK.

ok. so. this au’s actually evolved a lot since its initial already-pretty-fleshed-out inception one sleepless night, so me talking about it’s gonna be more than one post, but here’s the first one well actually the second technically yesterday’s warmup doodles were also from this au but i didnt talk about it at all so

and I’m gonna start with more or less the same pitch I gave to a couple people on discord

SO. starting out: it’s standard fantasy times, vaguely medieval but no specific time period because I don’t care enough to be digging into that quite frankly, but it is somewhere in England where this is happening. Story starts with just Gansey, Ronan, and Noah. Fey are very real and known entities and there’s been a conflict in England between the fey and humans, if not in the whole country then at least in the lands that the Ganseys are the lords of but probably the whole island tbh, and Gansey’s not inherited the lands yet but he’s going to and wants to maybe find a peaceful resolution to the conflict. It’s not open warfare by any means but it’s been a big problem.

To the effect of solving that, he heads to some little village that I haven’t named but it’s right next to a known fey forest called Cabeswater. This village has avoided being stomped by the local fey because, despite witches not being particularly liked by the nobility of the time, there’s a big old coven (the psychics of Fox Way, essentially) situated right by this village that’s kept things in check. Gansey’s made his excuses to his parents about why he’s officially going there but really he wants to talk to the witches and get a better grasp of the conflict from the people actually dealing with it. He and Ronan set out from home together, pick up Noah along the way--who is not a ghost in this AU, he’s a fey who owes Gansey a life debt, that’s a whole other post and THIS post is mostly about gansey and adam--but anyway they get to this village and NOBODY gives gansey the time of day.

the witches don’t let him into their house because they don’t like the nobility right back thanks and the next time he tries to visit Cabeswater won’t even let him get to the coven’s dwelling, the one witch’s daughter who regularly stops by the village for supplies and to check if anyone needs anything has a big argument with him the first time he talks to her so that’s going nowhere, and, well, the villagers are polite, but they clearly don’t take him seriously. He’s just the lordling playing at things and potentially meddling in their business to them.

So he starts hanging out just barely within Cabeswater, even though he knows that’s not wise, because he finds this perfect spot by a stream, and he’ll sit out there and think and work on the journal he keeps of all his thoughts and plans, and one day while he’s there has a straight up Disney princess experience when a deer stops by the stream and seems incredibly unafraid of him. he cherishes the experience but accepts that it probably won’t happen again.

and then it does. several times. gansey’s losing his mind. this deer??? apparently likes listening to him info dump?? it’s very therapeutic and also very magical and he’s amazed

a few times in, he names the deer “Pryderi” after a character from a welsh legend, because “such a handsome creature deserves a princely name,” [[muffled blue laughing and whispering “princely” in the distance]], and he tells ronan and noah about this experience but ronan doesn’t believe him at ALL.

one time after gansey’s particularly upset at how bad his attempts at getting along with the villagers, Pryderi actually lets Gansey touch him for the first time and gansey cannot shut up about it to ronan who’s finally like “i think you’re bullshitting me about this deer thing. im coming with you next time” and gansey’s like “well he’s a deer he might not show up if a stranger’s around and he doesn’t come every time i go down there anyway” and ronan’s like “this sounds like a lot of excuses, dick, you’re not making me believe you any more with this” and gansey’s like “>8\”

but pryderi does show up, and gansey is delighted, and ronan stares really hard at him and then goes

and gansey’s like what? nooo. but ronan keeps arguing it for the duration of the visit and the deer actually starts to look annoyed and at the end ganseys like ok maybe but i doubt it. and then hes like “well since you are a fey apparently (/sarcasm) i ought to say farewell with respect” and bows very mockingly and then the deer makes direct eye contact with ronan and bows back and gansey loses his shit

gansey continues meeting up with pryderi but even while his infodumping still happens it does so now with the knowledge that He Does Actually Understand What Im Saying, he may be a fey but he seems like a friendly one and hey that’s way more than gansey thought he would get out here, and also this deer is his friend now thanks,

he, ronan, and noah (who’s amused by Pryderi but keeps his main thoughts to himself for now) make some excursions into cabeswater, but the thing is noah’s not really native to england, he’s from the european mainland, again i’ll get to it in another post sometime, but. he can sort of help navigate cabeswater but not all THAT well so they get lost a couple times, and every time it does happen pryderi shows up and helps guide them out. there’s some very funny moments of a very jealous ronan getting into weird conflict w/ a very smug deer

anyWAY one day there’s like a festival, everyone’s drunk because its the middle ages and there’s not really a drinking age, gansey’s making another effort to make friends with anyone, and this one guy about his own age is like “ok look here i’ll teach you the folk dance everyone’s doing ok?” and gansey spends the night dancing w/ a handsome stranger, yes he will recognize the irony in the morning, but for now it goes. well badly because they’re both drunk but it’s fun, and then the guy says “ah, fuck it, i’ll finish teaching you next time we see each other” and gansey’s like “thats a little forward but ok!” and the guy (adam. its adam) panics and leaves while gansey’s back is turned and gansey doesn’t remember that last snippet of conversation the next day nor can he quite recall the stranger’s face. ronan does, because he was watching and not sure which of the two he was jealous of, but neither of them has any idea who the guy actually was.

and then like, 3 days later, gansey falls asleep at the spot he usually hangs out in in cabeswater and wakes up in the early evening just in time to hear people yelling and for Pryderi to burst into view with an arrow in his flank. he collapses in a bush. gansey snaps into “protect friend” mode and gets the hunters off his trail by being all “oh a strange buck? i saw it pass that way over there friend!” and then when they’re gone he comes back and is all “alright pryderi they’re gone, let me just--” except pryderi’s not a deer anymore. it’s a boy.

(Adam. its adam. the deer is adam.)

gansey takes him home, gets the arrow out, noah’s like “i mean he’s not a fey, i dont know what turning into a deer is about but if he were fey the iron in that arrow would already have him dead. he might be partially fey but so little that he’s human in the ways that really matter”, over the next couple days they figure out that pryderi is in fact from the village and is a young man named adam parrish who’s been labelled a changeling and is assumed dead since he was yknow shot, gansey decides for now its probably best to keep him that way, but adam’s not getting better--apparently even having had the arrow in him as briefly as he did has poisoned him, he’s desperately ill and on the third day is finally like “get persephone” so gansey tries again (he’s tried several times over these days, they’d worked out that to have survived this long he must have someone else with a small degree of fey blood teaching him the ropes and the most likely suspects are the witches, but he’s hoping adam specifically asking him to will grant him permission enough to go in) and runs into a very frantic blue en route who as soon as he makes it clear he’s got adam is like “move your ass over on that horse im climbing on too”

they get persephone, who turns into a fox rather than a deer, she saves adam, everythings cool except adam’s pissy now because he cant go back to the village and he has to give up on the attempts he had in the works to get out of town by working his way out and he takes it out on gansey who doesnt deserve it because this friendship is a mess, he’ll feel bad and take it back eventually but thats yet more posts ANYWAY YEAH theres our starting point

(also worth noting: due to cabeswater being Right There, p much everyone in this village actually has a small degree of fey blood, adam just won the genetic lottery)

tl;dr adam’s a fey-blooded witch’s apprentice and he’s been the deer the whole time and thats the start of this au ty for coming to this ramble

#longpost #trc #the raven cycle #lolsketch #gonna make separate posts w/ just the art in a sec #anyway i love this au with all of my heart its extremely self indulgent #deer boy au #because thats what ive been shorthanding it to

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shikai-the-storyteller · 5 years

Text

Back from being out of town SO: Cyberverse Season 2 episode 7, 8 and 9 watch!

SO MANY EPISODES CAME OUT WHILE I WAS OUT OF TOWN, THAT WAS SO CRUEL!!!!

Cyberverse 7!

MACCADAM!!!! OMG OMG HES FINALLY BACK

OH NO ITS THE MEGAOP BREAKUP SCENE

oh nevermind, it’s just breakup scene #513214

I wonder what Megatron asked Optimus to do :O

Optimus: I just cant seem to make progress on these peace talks Maccadam: That sucks. Aren’t my drinks AWESOME? Optimus: yeah....

Aw Maccadam has such a cute smile. It’s really nice to see someone giving Optimus advice, usually he’s the designated dad of the group. Glad he has some support in this continuity!

OHOHO THEY’RE GONNA WORK TOGETHER TO BRING DOWN STARSCREAM

Man I frickin love it when Megatron and Optimus are forced to work together against a “greater evil”

Also: I love that Optimus is still so full of hope for that “one success” even though he’s failed so many times. Good characterization

I really love the animation style in Cyberverse. Also that Opening is STILL incredible, I can’t get enough of that (but oh Starscream, buddy, yellow is not your color)

Starscream, petting a Scraplet: Don’t you recognize her? This was the great Solus Prime! Slipstream: Can I PLEASE go home Starscream: Wait I’m not finished showing you my bug collection

“This is the noble Megatronus!” hrGHHH WHY DOES THAT MAKE MY HEART ACHE

The Seekers have only one brain cell and clearly Slipstream is the only one in possession of it

Soundwave: Together? That’s ridi— Megatron: *raises an arm to silence him* Me: HOW DARE YOU SHUSH MY BOY

The way Megatron says “let us discuss” while leaning forward makes me cautiously suspicious, but also I wonder if Megatron is as anxious to come to an agreement with Optimus as Optimus is with him, in his own way...

Shadow Striker’s surveillance got blocked by Prowl’s massive chest lmaooooo

Shadow Striker has such a good voice, I KNOW I MENTION THE VA’s IN EVERY LIVEBLOG BUT MAN!!! CYBERVERSE HAS SUCH GREAT VOICE ACTORS

It’s so tragic that Bumblebee and Rodimus are utterly indifferent to the peace talks because they happen so frequently and always fall through :( yet again, good way of showing without getting into too much detail. I admire the way cyberverse tells their stories

OMG SOUNDWAVE AND WINDBLADE ARE ABOUT TO GO AT IT

Grimlock: quit staring at me Shockwave: illogical Grimlock: I’LL SHOW YOU ILLOGICAL GUYS PLS lmao that cracks me up, they sound like CHILDREN

Lmao @ Megatron yelling at them all, “LEAVE ME ALONE IM TRYING TO TALK TO MY EX”

tfw you’re trying to make up with your ex but your disaster children have absolutely zero chill

OH GOOD SLIPSTREAM IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE MOST COMPETENT DECEPTICON

“Must we?” SOUNDWAVE C'MON MAN

HE HAS A GUN ON THE BOTTOM OF HIS FOOT IN SUCH A WEIRD SPOT LMAO

SHE SHOT HIM AND I CANT EVEN BE THAT MAD, SOUNDWAVE YOU’RE BEING A BUTT

“The biggest mistake I made was underestimating Starscream” story of Megatron’s life in every series

OMG….SHADOW STRIKER AND PROWL ARE HANGING OUT…THAT’S UNEXPECTEDLY ADORABLE

wHEELJACK AND SHOCKWAVE HANGING OUT WITH THE SHOCKLETS IM SHRIEKING WITH JOY THATS!! SO!!! CUTE!!!!

Shockwave’s little expression before it cuts back to Megatron and Optimus :’)

*whispers* and they were LAB partners!

Megatron: We should have talked like this ages ago, Prime Optimus: So much history between us… *meaningful shot of them sitting on either end of a very long table* Megatron: …and yet, so little trust Me, wheezing in agony

“Most roads on Cybertron are one way” FRICKIN

MEGATRON YOU DORK. I have no idea if he was being serious or being metaphorical but either way I laughed even while my heart ached

WINDBLADE ITS YOUR GIRLFRIEND SLIPSTREAM

Slipstream: Who’s the second most competent person I know. Slipstream: Well, it’s definitely not gonna be a Decepticon

SLIPSTREAM NO!!!!! WTF

Wheeljack: Well, it was fun while it lasted! Shockwave: No it wasn’t Snorts

MAN THIS IS KILLING ME, FATE REALLY NEVER CUTS MEGATRON AND OPTIMUS A BREAK HUH???

AGAIN, TFW YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE UP WITH YOUR EX BUT YOUR KIDS HAVE ZERO CHILL

OK BUT THEY’RE NOT GONNA LEAVE SLIPSTREAM LIKE THAT ARE THEY???? Jeez louise. I mean I know she’s not dead dead, my guess is she’s going to manipulate the All Spark from within later on to screw up Starscream’s plans, there’s no way they’d write her out like this.

EPISODE 8

Kitty cat no!!!

“They’re not here anymore!” Thank you captain obvious lmao. I love him. I bet Cheetor would get along well with Teletraan

“I know you told me not to interrupt anymore but—” lmao

OH NO A DISTRESS CALL FROM MEGATRON??? A last desperate attempt to warn Prime against a great danger??? Suspicious yet sweet

“Sounds extra forboding!” Teletran you’re such a DORK

Ohhh I really do love the way they animate Windblade’s expressions

“Well, this isn’t creepy at all!” Lol me 2 Rodimus

UHHHH ARE THOSE THINGS IN THEIR CHESTS BUGS??? IS THIS GOING TO BE AN ALIEN VS PREDATOR THING oh no ok, it’s just their sparks, I WAS GONNA SAY

*Ominous thunking ends abruptly* Well that’s not ominous at all

I mean at least they’ve still got their sparks?

OH MAN they even got Shockwave and Shadow Striker, jeez

SOUNDWAVE NO!

Optimus: Starscream’s forces managed to overwhelm everyone, even Soundwave I love that he said “even Soundwave”, like, yes, good, that’s right Optimus, thank you for acknowledging that my boy is no pushover

YO HOT ROD HAS HIS FLAME POWERS THAT’S SO COOL

I love the way they animate Windblade’s sword, that looks awesome

OH NO THEY’RE GETTING OPTIMUS, JEEZ THAT LOOKS BAD

MEGATRON OH NO

Starscream’s dramatic frickin reveal killed me, I can’t believe he didn’t say “Megatron has fallen

AW The frat boys trio working together is so cute :’) I love them

“We got your back, Cheetz!” RODIMUS YOU ARE PRECIOUS

HECK YEAH RODIMUS, YOUR FIRE POWERS LOOK SO C

NO THEY”RE GETTING BUMBLEBEE AND HOT ROD OH NO NONO!!!!

RUN KITTY RUN!!!

ALPHA TRION....Good lord

“Alpha Trion says he’s very disappointed in you, Optimus” STARSCREAM PLZ, HE REALLY IS LIKE A CRAZY PET OWNER

Ohhh they’re talking about the Matrix

WINDBLADE NO!!!!! NOT MY GIRL

OH SNAP THEY’RE ACTUALLY GOING FOR IT??? NO ONE’S GOING TO JUMP IN TO SAVE OPTIMUS???

THAT’S SO GRUESOME WTF, THEY’RE ACTUALLY TEARING HIS CHEST OPEN TO TAKE IT OUT

“The Matrix looks really pretty” I say in a small voice, mortified beyond belief

CHEETOR IS SO CUTE....

“You do not understand who and what you are fighting” SICK LINE CHEETOR

THANK YOU FOR RIPPING THAT HIDEOUS YELLOW ARMOR OFF STARSCREAM

THE FRAT BOY FRIENDSHIP TRIO IS SO CUTE

Megatron: I will...permit you to leave now Optimus: You are welcome Ughhhh Megatron’s expression while they’re walking away is so good thIS KILLS ME...........

Cyberverse 9!

OH NO THUNDERCRACKER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, ARE YOU OK???

WHY IS SLIPSTREAM SUDDENLY THERE AGAIN, WHAT’S GOING ON (NOT THAT I’M NOT GLAD TO SEE YOU)

Wait I forgot there’s another purple Seeker, that’s probably not Slipstream RATS

What exactly is Cheetor doing, WAIT I think these are all old memories he’s seen, these are just flashbacks ALRIGHT WE’RE COOL I GOT IT NOW

GOSH I LOVE MEGAOP BATTLES NO MATTER HOW BRIEF THEY ARE

Cheetor: I hope they one day settle their differences so that we may one day take our place among them Somehow that makes him sound like an alien, which is ironic since they’re ALL aliens

Very nice group shot right there

aw, Cheetor is right at Rodimus’ hand level when he’s in his cheetah alt mode, I half expected Rodimus to pet him

"Won’t someone please pet me??”

Man, this makes me miss Ravage. I’d love to see him show up in Cyberverse too. We know Lazerbeak is here at least though!

Hot Rod: How can we find Starscream if he ghosted us? Bumblebee: “Ghosted us”? LMAO nice slang Hot Rod

Aww poor Cheetor, me too buddy

RATCHET RATCHET RATCHET!!!!

LMAO HE SCREAMED, I LOVE YOU RATCHET YOU’RE SO CUTE

Oh no Cheetor, don’t go help Wheeljack

LMAO Cheetor you’re just so sneaky like a kitty cat, no one can hear you coming

OH NO DEFINITELY DON”T HELP PROWL

“YOU”LL NEVER TAKE ME” PROWL PLEASE

AW BUMBLEBEE SCARED CHEETOR that’s sweet that he went to go make Cheetor feel better :’) Best buddies

WAIT WTF

FRICKIN CYBERVERSE, YOU SCARED ME FOR A SECOND, I HEARD THAT SOUND AND I WARPED BACK TO FRICKIN 2005, HOW COULD YOU SCARE ME LIKE THAT

This frickin series is made by a bunch of MEMERS

BEE SAVED THE KITTY CAT!!!!

UH OH jeez louise they got caught

“I was so hoping to never see you again!” I love you Bumblebee

SPARK MERGING??? STARSCREAM BUDDY....

“I have no fight with you. We are soon to be one” Not creepy at all Starscream

OH NO IS HE GOING TO PUT BEE’S SPARK INA SCRAPLET??? JEEZ THAT’S NEW

SMART THINKING CHEETOR

CHEETOR AND BEE ARE SUCH CUTE FRIENDS GOSH

wait Episode 10 is out too??? OK I CAN”T HELP MYSELF, IM GONNA PUT IT IN A NEW TEXT POST THOUGH

MAN I LOVE THIS SERIES!!! I LOVE CYBERVERSE

#i talk #Cyberverse #cyberverse spoiler /#I'm watching Cyberverse #Primordial robot hell

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the-stray-liger · 5 years

Note

Hi! I really really love your art and your blog in general and it made me really interested in watching Gundam, but im not sure where to start, can you give me some recommendations please? Thank you!!

God I have been asked this question so much and it always makes me nervous bc I am just a Gundam baby. I wish I could link you again to the posts I’ve made before about it feiowefwae

*cracks knuckles* Aight friend here’s the thing. You might have already noticed how GIGANTIC the Gundam franchise is, spanning tons of animated series, manga, novels and games all sorts of media. Strap in because I am physically unable and legally forbidden to not make a super long post abt it

Here’s the thing. Gundam has a main timeline that derives from the original 1979 anime Mobile Suit Gundam 0079, and that timeline is called the Universal Century or UC for short. If you’re gonna get into that main timeline, to which very well known Gundam content like Char’s Counter Attack or Gundam Unicorn belong to, I strongly reccomend you get ready for a super long term commitment and torrent the 0079 anime and start with it, since it’s very hard to find websites that stream it. It’s old and had the budget of a mcdonald’s happy meal but it’s worth it.

Not to say you can’t watch other UC content without watching 0079 first but honestly it’s worth like, knowing the context and the history that will keep coming back through the rest of the UC anime. Then you can move on to wonderfully animated things like Zeta Gundam (seriously the difference in the animation of Zeta and 0079 is unbelievable and the animation in Zeta is delightful), ZZ, Char’s Counterattack and Unicorn and the recently released Narrative (that a lot of ppl didn’t like but I greatly enjoyed fight me), the The Origin OVAs/TV series that are *chef’s kiss*. HECK you could even treat yoself to watching The 08th Mobile Suit Team which boasts (and deserves imo) one of the best animated fights in an anime.

NOW HERE’S THE MAGIC OF GUNDAM THO: You don’t actually need to get into the UC if you don’t wanna

Gundam also has a shit ton of other super good anime series that are completely independant from the UC and each happen in their own separate universe. They keep the staples of the franchise (war bad and cool robot) but they are completely stand alone series that you can watch and enjoy without previous knowledge of any other gundam content.

You can get into Gundam Wing (the classic that is probably the most well known for ppl on this side of the puddle and also my favorite telenovela), Gundam Seed (which is fun if you want to shut down your brain for a while), Iron Blooded Orphans (not my cup of tea but features excellent animation and a soundtrack that slaps), and my ABSOLUTE favorite, Gundam 00, which is what grabbed me by the neck and dragged me into the Gundam hole for good with no chance of ever letting go.

There’s even simple, cute, fun series that are 100% stress free like Gundam Build Fighters if you don’t want to think about war. You can 300% grab any of those and sit down and enjoy them and become a Gundam fan without having ever watched the UC. (Many concepts of the UC do however find their echoes and shoutouts and become tropes that are fun to watch in standalone series, it’s kind of a treat for me!)

All these are way easier to find because many online streaming services like crunchyroll and I think hulu have them and the official gundaminfo channel on youtube has them for free and subbed too (as long as you don’t live in Costa Rica because fuck latinamerica I guess)!

ANYWAY TL;DR: start with Gundam 00 and yell at me about it

#Anonymous

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

Text

Sanctuary-III: Demo Analysis

Hi again! I’m here to do my full Sanctuary-III analysis. (im back on my bullshit of actually structuring posts like a functioning human. holy mother of g-)

Tl;Dr: So from what I’ve gathered so far, Sanctuary-III looks like a Maliwan-inspired ship, but was actually built by a company named <SUPAMAX MFG>. I do think the ship we go on in the demo is taken from another part of the game, probably the time period when we’ve reached the Maliwan/Monastery planet of which I don’t know the name (the one we see Maya on). I understand that we can see Pandora in the demo, but it’d be easy to travel back there and simply remove the option for the monastery planet when we go to Promethea. I have a couple reasons for thinking this, so I’ll go over it when we get there.

For now, let’s get started :D

So, even though we’re going to be doing a full analysis of the demo, I did want to start with our previous sightings of the ship.

Ellie hanging onto a smaller version of the ship.

Lorelei resting her foot on a larger model

one hiding behind Zane near the car

better view below:

and a ship as we see it on the cover art:

notice I say A ship because there are definitely differences between this one and the Sanctuary-III we meet in the demo.

Most notably the colors/design, but also the back engines are missing from below the spoiler and the fins on the front are different shapes. Additionally, the one in the cover has windows that are significantly different from the demo and the engines in demo have fins coming off the tops that we don’t see here. I’ve been yelled at before that this isn’t a noticeable enough difference to think about, that the developers just decided to roll with it, but honestly I believe if the designers put that much time into ensuring the cover art has a dozen easter eggs to solve, why would they look at the ship and decide “eh, that’s good enough”? I wanna believe they’re not that laidback about this.

So I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt for now and provide a handful of theories as to what this cover art ship could be:

1. Sanctuary-II or an earlier model of Sanc-III (or both)

2. A shuttle used to move people to-and-from places Sanctuary-III is too large to access and the drop pods are too violent to hit (I’m thinking meteors/asteroids here) annnd hopefully we get to putz around space in one

3. A fully separate ship from Sanctuary-III that we’ll have to use later on in the game, either due to Sanctuary-III being destroyed, or other weird circumstances that would render it unavailable. Could possibly be used to reach Elpis?

Anyway, enough of that. Let’s get right into the thick of things with the actual ship from the demo!

This hit me right in the heart. I love that u can see Pandora in the background, too.

The actual ship! Do you see what I mean by those minor differences to the cover art ship? Moving on.

The reason I thought this ship was mainly because of the huge swaths of orange and the blue engines/bridge. I had thought it was Atlas as well at one point, but retracted both those statements when I saw the name of the manufacturer printed everywhere inside lol

It is possible it was made specifically for either of those companies. I am leaning towards Maliwan, so I’ll point out my reasons why as we move through this.

Also, check out the docking bay on the bottom there. That door leads to the large room we see Ellie in. I think the fins on the front of the ship are to hold it up when it’s landed so we can drive vehicles out the bottom. I am hoping for a scene near endgame where the ship is shielding us from huge attacks from above as we drive out of the bottom and, right as we escape, it collapses behind us. Fingers crossed.

the back of the ship. And the engines I mention you can’t see protruding out the back on the cover art.

Oh, and say hi to the CoV!

that’s where Troy’s sword gets launched from orbit

as we zoom in, we can see a whole bunch of things

to start, looks like Hyperion got some nice rebranding. I hope Blake took over tbh

a poster of moxxxi’s. I love the feather in her hat; I wonder if that means her a mordy got back together...

also im going to take the time to point out

how much I love that each Vault Hunter gets something that glows. Amara has her tattoos (and she can customize the color!), Fl4k has their eye, Moze has Iron Bear’s digistruct pack, and Zane has a cool jacket. Rock on my babies, you’re all beautiful. Oh, and the whole teleporting animation for this, I don’t know if its like a “first time” only thing or what, but I love it, I love it so much. I’m so glad we’re going to be able to see our Vault Hunters in the third person.

okay moving on

so right away you notice the guide telling you where places are, with arrows point in different directions. It’s quite hard to read at the moment, but we do see it again later.

We all know about the quick change station and the lost-and-found, so I don’t think I ought to go over those right now.

claptrap seems to have his own little cereal or something, not sure if that’s been sighted anywhere else, but im afraid for anyone who eats it

player quarters! holy balls im so excited for these

We can see the display cases everywhere, but there’s also a vault (not that kind) in the back left. I imagine that’s the bank. Hoooopefully we get a larger storage capacity or my mule characters are gonna have a ton of new buddies to talk to lol

better look at the cereals.

also apparently that water bottle we see in the Game of Thrones joke the twitter posted is an actual asset in the game.

While we have singular display cases for guns, it looks like items get their own display cases

it can show off rarity color and on the bottom left, you get to see exactly what you’re looking at. no more confusing grenade mods for shields in this house

a non-holographic poster for the Typhon Deleon movie. I think this is the first we’ve seen outside of Promethea. I guess Amara’s a fan.

A vault symbol rug, and the symbol spray painted onto her punching bag. I think that poster in the back is a Monty Python reference? I didn’t get quite a good look at it, we might see another one later on.

Amara has a window seat, I’m actually hoping we’ll be able to hang out in our rooms and look out the window at space. I would honestly spend so much time here. Also, regarding the bed (not pictured, that’s the window seat), I’m wondering if that will have any gameplay effects or if it's just aesthetics. I hope it’s at least bouncy...

she does have some jakobs crates holding up the plants. Don’t know if that has anything to do with her backstory or if its just to fit the aesthetic of her room.

we’re also told “again, you can modify your player quarters to how you want to play” which... I don’t know if I’m looking too deeply into that, but it seems like we’ll be able to pick and choose things like furniture or overall layout. I wonder if they’d let us cycle between the other VH’s rooms. Not sure exactly what it’s supposed to imply, but it is something to point out.

Our first look at the SUPAMAX MFG logo. “Ships made Quick”

We also get our first look at Ellie’s cargo bay. More on this later

behind the curtains to the left of here

a poster of Jack and some lootable washing machines. We’ve seen the poster before, from what I’ve heard it's a movie poster starring timothy doppleman. Which... What a legend.

Now, I do want to point out we see this logo next to the cargo bay

this is one of the reasons I thought the ship was Atlas at first, however you can tell there’s no gap on the right of the triangle and the bottom edges don’t match. I definitely think the new Atlas logo is a delta to signify change, though, cause Rhys is a big ol nerd.

some blueprints of the ship and a bunch of reused posters from BL2 thrown in for decor purposes. There’s another poster of Typhon to the left of that, but since we’ve already seen it, fuck ‘em

We also see a buttload of Maliwan crates hanging around the ship, matching the color design of the one we saw floating around space

here’s one of them!

a better look at the blueprints as a standalone poster. It looks like ‘Sanctuary’ was written over with something, but I can’t make out what. also checkout how the paint on top doesn’t match the paint on the cover art’s ship. Nor does the cover art have the fins coming off the engines like we see here. I actually just noticed that even the spoilers are different shapes.

Moving on before I go off on another tangent

a poster for Marcus’s shop

the new golden chest as Randy called it. I believe we’ve seen the animation already, where the guns splay upwards like a peacock or smth

a cowgirl hangin out on more Maliwan chests

Marcus’s new sign. Honestly? He’s rocking the bun.

this dude we find walking out of the store. Don’t know what his deal is, but I’m digging it.

this Amara already has 5/8 Pistol SDUs unlocked! (Also, there are 8 max SDUs) Makes me think she’s a high level character. That’ll come into play later lol

5/8 Backpack SDUS. I didn’t show it but she also had 1/8 Shotgun SDUs. Also only +3 to backpack space each. Considering Amara already has 5 unlocked, that means we get the regular 12 backpack space to start. D:

bank space only gets +2. Amara already has 2, meaning the bank can only hold 8 items without upgrades. F in chat for the big bank dreams. Max amount the bank can hold is 24. Somebody comfort me... hopefully these SDUs increase exponentially 😭

the mystery SDU. It looks like a box with a question mark on it, giving out guns and grenades. Makes me worry this is some form of loot box, but considering it can be bought with cash in-game, that’s probably a good sign. Maybe you can buy golden keys in game to open the gold chest now? Randy said no microtransactions and, while he is Randy, I want to believe him (disregarding the skins fiasco because we all knew that was coming).

since i’ve also seen speculation that it’s the upgrade for the capacity of the Lost-And-Found, I think that’s probably what this actually is.

the shooting range we can see from here. Doesn’t appear to have any targets yet, but it may be like the one in BL2 where they only appear when we enter.

more Maliwan boxes to the left of the shooting range.

Crew Quarters sign!

some very big (tm) Maliwan crates

tannis’s sign!

this NPC actually seems important, I’m wondering if she’ll give us a side quest or something

what i’m guessing is the power core to the ship. It’s in such a great place to get shot... i wonder if perhaps... we’re going to have to do that at some point...

“ain’t no place like space” I love this place.

also looks like there’s a shortcut here. You can see the planks across the pipes, the balcony, and the railing here that’s gonna be easy to get over. Excitement!

looks like a control panel right in front of the core. Yeah, there’s definitely going to be something related to it. Maybe we’ll get attacked and we have to go stabilize it. Maybe our ship will get hijacked and we’ll have to blow it up from the inside. I can’t be the only one who thinks this place is wayyy too grand to not get destroyed...

better look at that bad boy

the opening to moxxi’s bar

actual bar

i have no idea what this is, but i dig it. Also the zer0 for the O is making me go 🤔 i don’t THINK Zer0 would get involved, but then again, they are doing missions for Moxxi in Tales, so maybe the two got together to make something

this door seems different enough and detailed enough (red glowing light) to make me think we’re going to be unlocking this and going through it at some point. Then it shall glow green and make me happy instead of frustrated. the minimap, unfortunately, does not agree with me, but I want to believe. or that’s gonna bother me to no end. Maybe some sort of “we just escaped control core angel” situation, idk.

some slot machines. Ca$hTrap! and Tinx’s Hijinx. Looks like an NPC is using the latter though so idk if it will be available to use.

scoring system. Looks like the ??x row will give us a new character skin!! hype.

the uhhh... Lava Lamp column... will give us...? ???

A devil fruit?? A grenade? wtf is that???

3 bananas gives us new colors! Crowns = head

the... Eridium...? That seems way too pink to be Eridium tbqh. It reminds me more of Seraph crystals, but maybe its a reference to the ‘Eridium’ growing out of the ground on Promethea? ...... Maybe that’s growing because Atlas/Typhon actually DID open the Vault on Promethea

uh anyway

The last column is about more crystals and then cash and then the last one... I assume the icons are Claptrap’s eye (considering the game), but the reward? i think that’s the grenade the demo player gets in the demo

we’ve also got Loot Boxer (also taken by an NPC) and Vault Line. I’m wondering if the NPCs using the machines are just a gameplay mechanic and they’ll disappear after a certain level/event. Maybe those ones give us better loot. idk.

for Vault Line, i think that says “Knockout Prizes” but I could be wrong. More importantly, it looks like we can get legendaries from this one! First column shows a green/purple/yellow (legendary?) gun. I can’t tell what the other icons are meant to be, though. i think the next 3 are shields, then maybe class mods? or... grenade mods? i don’t know. The last one is a total blob for me, no ideas on that. Also wondering if that machine costs Eridium to play or something, 1) because of its design and 2) because the rewards seem sooo much better than Claptrap’s.

outside we see the Crew Quarters sign for the first time and, interestingly enough, a TV broadcasting the same symbol we see being broadcasted all across the CoV camps. What’s up with that?

infirmary and crew quarters signs on the wall this time

more Maliwan crap. even says it right on the tin. Why is there a pokeball on there?

a map of the ship. We see this on a bunch of monitors, even ones on Promethea, for some reason. This one is mirrored. dunno why.

more signs. Left top to bottom: “Cargo Bay” “Armory” “Infirmary”

Right top to bottom: “Engine Room” (OwO) “Crew Quarters” “Cargo Bay” “Armory” annnd nothing on the last line this bend around. when they turn the corner, you can see that it, too, says “infirmary”

Also, the Heatant and Coolant Pipes lmao

“LAB/SICK BAY” pointing to the left towards Tannis’s corner

so, here’s where we get our first glance at something very very interesting

now, the crew makes us think this is our first time visiting Promethea in the demo. But if it is, why are there Promethea civilians wandering around the ship? I believe i go over this some in an older post, but I’ll recap:

1) It could be that Sanctuary III was already in the air before the game starts and had already visited Promethea to take some Civilians off Rhys’s hands so he had less to worry about. That would mean that we’d need a shuttle or something to reach the ship in order to activate the fast travel station, which is (possibly) where the ship on the cover art could come in. Because in the borderlands universe, you need to reach a Fast Travel station first before you’re able to teleport to it and if Sanc III is flying and Lilith doesn’t have her powers, we’re stranded on Pandora. (Alternatively, the ship could come down from space, but... I kinda doubt it can without not being able to take off again. Maybe borderlands just has cooler spaceships... idk. They were able to make a caravan space capable). Unfortunately, this would mean those screencaps from the new trailer that looks like Sanctuary III being infested with wildlife would not take place on early-game Pandora/that we wouldn’t rescue the ship and claim it as our own. (We could possibly get Sanctuary III in the air in the new BL2 DLC if this is the case.) The ship getting infested then could take place above the Maliwan planet or Promethea or soon after we join the crew and we’re sent down there to clean it up as a side quest. Or there’s a time skip and the ship gets overrun and we have to fix it. Now that’d be rad...

2) gearbox is being sneaky beaky about the demo time. We do see Maya later on, which leads me to believe this takes place after we meet her. Where does it look like she’ll be? On the Maliwan/Monastery planet. It could be possible that the devs took the ship back to Pandora and simply removed the Maliwan planet from the list of places to take our ship. That would leave Promethea as an option while also explaining why there are both Promethean citizens and Maya on board. Could also explain Lilith having her tattoos back, since we don’t know the events of the story that lead to us going to find Maya. Though, I think I have an idea... I’ll leave that for my Maya masterpost though. Lilith also says “We arrived in one piece... that’s a first” when we travel to Promethea, leading me to believe either that’s where Sanctuary-II warped and got destroyed (maybe explaining why there are Promethea Civilians with us now), possibly in the asteroid fields, also maybe due to a mechanical failure, or Sanctuary-III, when it first went to Promethea with us, got a bit damaged by the rocks floating around Promethea or some other thing like the CoV attacking, idk. What are those rocks for, anyway? ....... I gotta make a post on that, don’t I? oi oi oi...

Moving on

the front of the Infirmary

....

this kinda looks like a baby T-Rex. There are T-Rexes on the swamp planet, which we now are assuming is Promethea, aren’t there? Oh hell yeah. If the swamp planet ISN’T Promethea I’m gonna be all like [shocked pikachu face]. that outskirts area was really making me believe.

anyway, see above lol

we also get another glimpse at the SUPAMAX logo

some lootables in the back

not sure if these are Maliwan or not.

Zed also has a machine in the back here. We haven’t seen him around yet, but odds are he’s still kicking because of this. And hopefully still friendly with the crimson raiders. Maybe Tannis locked him in a closet or something, idk.

oooo i haven’t seen this screen before

i want to know what it isssss

this also looks eerily familiar. brb, gonna go find what this reminds me of

okay, so

not sure if its exactly the same material/type of symbol, but this location, what i have dubbed the “temple” cuz i got no better name for it, does have square emblems across the floor with borders.

so, interestingly, this one has what looks like an eye with beams shooting out of it. if that description sounds familiar to you, it should, because

EYEBALL

now i got no idea if these are related aside from being in the same game, but it does interest me that they’ve both got eyeballs and streaky beams.

Oh and Tannis’s Vault symbol doesn’t have the writing (?) across the edges, but I will say, it does kinda look like cuneiform and eridian writing had a baby. Like, if you super heavily pixelate the Watcher’s name on her title card...

tbh I’ve theorized a lot about this place, but haven’t found anything I particularly like. From the place where the first Vault Atlas ever opened is (meaning its on Promethea and could explain why Tannis has that slab), the Great Vault’s holding place (where the skeleton on the ground is Typhon and his final journal) (perhaps the Great Vault is the entryway to the Eridian homeworld... that could explain why the CoV are trying to find it... might be a reason why they’re being manipulated by new aliens to find it. god please let them be the Seraphs...) uh, anyway, I also had an idea that it was someplace on the Maliwan planet, and maybe that it was in the archives area that was taken over by Maliwan and that the skeleton was of a Siren. That would explain why Maya is shown handing the book to Little Blue in the MoM. I go over that in an old post though, so moving on.

oh, there’s also a frame of Tannis’s animation where the dinosaur she was inside stands up and clips through the table:

there’s a small room over here we don’t get to see, and I’m wondering if there’s another NPC joining us on Sanctuary-III that isn’t showcased. god I hope if its pickle he got more bearable as he got older because dear god i hated him in tps. I can’t see Athena nor Janey with a desk like that. Maybe Vaughn? Though would he really want to go back to being an accountant after everything...?

more maliwan boxes btw. looks like someone scribbled on this one lol

now we head to the bridge!!!

looks like an arcade game lol

but possibly a control mechanism for shuttles coming in??? 👀 👀 👀

Crew Quarters and the SUPAMAX logo

oh yeah, and in case you were doubtful that this was a borderlands game:

“Caution: Excessive Farts Detected”

the Bridge!!!

We’ve got a holo-projector thing up front like we’ve seen Rhys use, as well as a mini one used as a digistructer during Lorelei’s hamburger quest. Most interesting, Lily has her tattoos! Definitely wondering if this takes place later on in the story or if they swapped her early game model in. either way, they’re definitely there.

some cool art of Sanctuary III zooming away

just have to say

i love this so much

its great

okay moving on

I wish they’d be more specific. do ruins = vault? Typhon says he discovers the Vault and the Key in one fell swoop. if Typhon DID give atlas the Vault key and the location to the Vault (and we’re not just listening to an ARG for the movie or smth) then why didn’t Atlas open it immediately?! I mean, in TFTBL Cassius says Gortys is their last ditch attempt at opening a Vault! So what the heck?? I can’t believe that it would be less than 200 years from the first Vault being discovered to the Eridians abandoning everything. like vault keys take 200 years to naturally charge so there’s no reason why it wouldn’t be already charged and available (Unless its more of a cycle thing where it charges and then discharges after a while for safety’s sake??).

And another thing, if that IS Eridium growing out of the ground on Promethea, then they totally DID open the first Vault. Or at least Typhon did. Unless there was something stopping them... like... Maybe in the temple those demon-looking-things stopped them from getting through and that’s why we find a bunch of skeletons around the place? Or maybe the Guardians got to them, or some other Eridian protection scheme. i don’t know... im so confused... brain hurt...

anyway

why the fuck does Elpis look like this

is that the light side of the moon? dear god im blind.

hhhh at least we can still see the crackening

lowkey wondering if the ship is based off of Eridian tech. I could totally see a slip-space drive being based off Lilith’s phasewalking

when we finish travelling, Lily says “We’ve arrived in one piece. that’s a first” and yeeah, i can see whyyy

rocks. rocks everywhere. tbh i think these rocks are 1) why lilith says that (we’ve either been to Promethea before in Sanc-III or Sanc-II got decimated slip jumping here) and 2) why the VH’s entry into Promethea is apparently so awful Lilith needs to ask if they’re actually still alive. also, we get to see just how much of Promethea is cities and goddamn. that’s a lot for a borderworld.

sorry for the youtube bar.

Deck A: Hammerlock - Infirmary/Tannis - Deck B: Marcus - Moxxi Deck C: Cargo Bay

I am honestly so curious how they got this ship with that lettering on it. I guess they could’ve made it themselves, but... you gotta wonder... maybe we get the ship built on Pandora by Ellie. Or she helps us fix it up after we remove all gross rat things from it.

MAYAAAAA

better look at the Monty poster plus some other stuff, like a clock, dartboard, and a gas mask. Also if anyone knows what that says up top there, please let me know, im super curious!

Hammerlock’s quarters!

this guy has the same facial hair as Zane. I swear to god if I hear “Oh, that’s me fourth brother” im gonna lose my absolute shit

something to the far left outside of Hammerlock’s quarters we’re not allowed to see yet :(

there’s also graffiti of “Charge port here” around the ship and i think that’s hilarious. It’s like an airport

put your ports in, damn it!

Ellie!!!

More maliwan boxes to her left, btw

the actual cargo bay. remember how i said to look at the bottom of sanctuary III to find the door? I’m like 90% sure that’s it right there. Randy also says “down here we can check out the vehicles we’ve collected AND this is how/where we get access to the planets while we’re in orbit”.

Crazy Earl’s black market! dunno how he’s actually, like, connected to the black market from here, but, hey, who knows what he’s got in there.

veteran rewards, apparently drawn over one of Marcus’s machines lol

“Inter-Galactic” a little drawing of Sanc-III and another Maliwan box (you can see why I think this ship is Maliwan, right?)

Clappy and his GF... yeah...

one very big digistruct pad. listen... im praying for a space shuttle. i really am.

finally:

the drop pod

god this looks awesome. I bet we’re gonna have many a fun time in there lol

I finally get to live out my dream of being an ODST in borderlands. what badasses they are.

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #bl3 #sanctuary 3 #sanctuary iii #sanctuary-iii #yeet #sanctuary

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pretty-bois · 5 years

Text

roger taylor is god

So @denimwrappeddisasters and I are currently obsessed with Ben Hardy’s Roger Taylor and we may have text-written a crossover fic with Queen and the Harringrove boys. It also might’ve turned out long and smutty so I’ll post it in two parts. (This whole thing is copy pasted so the formatting is super weird, sorry about that)

I feel like Freddie would pick up Billy at some bar or one of their concerts or something because I mean he’s hot and he’s actually really cool, they’d hang out for a bit, Freddie would then bring Billy around while they’re recording and the rest of the band would be all “oh is this another one of your boyfriends??” And then they’d be confused bc Billy and Freddie aren’t really flirting at all but Billy KEEPS staring at Roger

They’d quickly figure out what’s going on with all of Billy’s not so subtle flirting Roger would probably be all uncomfortable at first but then would just start playing along after a bit

Roger and Billy’s first exchange after Billy’s been staring for longer than he should’ve been:

R: “You got a problem man?” B: “Yeah, you’re not on top of me right now” *winks and walks away*

*Roger sputters*

*as Billy’s walking away* (showing his ass more than necessary) “I’m in love with my car is my favorite by the way!!” *Roger to Freddie* “You know what, he’s welcome back ANYTIME” *Billy turns the corner and starts squealing and jumping around because THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN* Then they become friends and billy CONSTANTLY invites roger to have threesomes with him and Steve Holy shit can you imagine if he were to say yes like the 100th time Billy asks R: “Fine! But I am not taking anything up my ass” B: “Oh don’t you worry baby, that’s my job” R: “And I’m ONLY doing it just this once so you stop asking” B: “Alright, but trust me, you’re gonna wanna do it again” Billy would make it home and just start SCREAMING Steve: “What, did Roger do something hot again?” B: “HE HE-AND THEN HE- AHHH STEVE STEVIE HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT BABY WE’RE GONNA- I’M GONNA- FUUUUCCKKK” S: “Ok Billy! BILLY!! You need to calm down before you hyperventilate!! Deep breaths come on, with me” *after he’s calmed down a bit* S: “Ok baby you wanna try again?” B: “Rog-Roger said-he said he-he agreed to the threesome!! HES GONNA FUCK ME STEVIE” *rambles on about Roger’s dick* “oh god it’s probably soooo big baby! Not as big as you, but still big!” And Steve is just sat there staring at him, slightly in awe because he’s going to have a threesome with a rockstar, but also kinda jealous because his boyfriend is waayy too excited for his comfort. S: “Whoa whoa—when is this happening Billy?” B: “TOMORROW NIGHT!” S: “WAIT WHAT?” B: “YEAH! That means we can’t fuck tonight though, I wanna be so ready for him.” S: “But you promised me—“ B: “Don’t worry baby, there’s plenty of other ways for me to get you off” *wink* *immediate blush from steve* Billy jumps up, “oh god, we need to clean the apartment. I have to go buy lube and condoms. You think he’s ever fucked a guy before? I‘m gonna turn him gay baby, just you wait.” *grabs his keys and runs out the door* Roger would walk in the door and be SO visibly uncomfortable and nervous. Steve, seeing this, hands him a beer and asks “so. . . You ever done this before? You know, with a guy and all?” “Oh uh no I haven’t but Freddie wouldn’t shut up last night giving me tips” “Well Billy’s really excited. honestly, I would be jealous but this has been a dream of his LONG before he met me” *roger blushes* “oh wow, didn’t know that. He was so cool about it, you know, besides the whole incessantly asking thing.” * stevie laugh * “He’s a good actor.” *sounds from the other room, Steve leans over* “He’ll be out in a sec, but just keep this in mind— Billy’s hottest when he’s breaking in front of you. So ruin him.” “What does that even mean?” “You’ll know. Trust me.” Billy walks out “What have my boys been talking about?” And Steve’s like “Nothing baby, c’mere” *making out in front of roger* *Rogers eyes go wide and his mouth drops open* “O-ok I might be able to get behind this after all” *steve and Billy both reach out and grab his arms pulling him towards them* “Alright Roger lets see if you’re as good as they say you are” *Roger chugs down the rest of his beer* “Ah Fuck it” *billy internally screaming like we are at this almost smut* “I get the first taste” *furiously kisses roger who is quite literally swept off his feet by them and pulled into their bedroom* *roger is making Eddie kissing Venom sounds* • s e x • (calm down the good shit is at the end) *Afterwards* *all parties very out of breath* R: “. . . F U C K” B: “Shit man are you freaking out???” S: “Oh my god Roger are you like ok???” R: “Yeah yeah I’m fine it’s just I owe Freddie $100 now” S: “What did you guys bet that you wouldn’t go through with it or something?” R: “No we bet on whether I’d enjoy it or not” B: “Shit Did we turn THE Roger Taylor gay???!!!!??” R: “Just a LITTLE ok!!” B: “haHA!!!” B: “STEVIE BABY I FUCKING TOLD YOU!” R: “Told him what?” B: “That this ass would be able to make you gay” R: “Yeah. You fuckin told him. That’s a good fuckin ass. Might need to have it again sometime.” B: “Did. . . Did you SERIOUSLY just say you want my ass AGAIN?” R: “Yeah, why?” *billy faints* R: “Oh god is he okay?” S: “Yeah just give him a sec he’ll be fine. He does this kind of a lot. NEVER say the number ‘10’ around him.” R: “What’s wrong with the number 10?” *Billy waking up* B: “Hopper what???” S: “He’s not here Billy don’t get your hopes up” B: “Mmm THAT’S a shame”

R: “Damn You two are almost as bad as Freddie” B: *cackling* “you WISH” *Billy shoots up in bed* “WAIT GUYS. BEST IDEA. FOURSOME- US AND HOPPER” R: “Who is—“ S: “NO BILLY. NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. I DO NOT C A R E HOW BIG HIS FUCKIN DICK IS.” (I’m sorry but we have an ironic love for Hoppingrove)

R: “Wait are you implying that you know someone with a 10 inch dick???” B: “YES” S: “BILLY. NO.” Roger and Billy walk into the recording studio the next day and everyone is SILENT Roger doesn’t say anything but he walks over to Freddie and hands him the $100 The whole band just starts yelling “AYYYYYYY YOU GET ‘IM TAYLOR” (Fondly) “Aww fuck off you guys” Freddie INSISTS on so many in depth details And billy is MORE than happy to oblige B: “Boys, you wouldn’t BELIEVE the things roger can do with that mouth of his” *roger turns bright red* *brian turns around and starts leaving* Brian: “Oh god, ok I’m done listening” B: “But don’t you wanna hear about how good I am at riding dick? Roger’ll tell you all about it. He was SUPER vocal last night.” Freddie’s leaning on his hand like “tell me MORE!” *Roger somehow gets MORE red* B: “And oh my god he actually agreed to blow Steve, hottest thing I’ve seen In a LONG time” Freddie: “Oooooooooooooh Did my advice help?!? I made sure to walk him through how it works!!” B: “Is THAT why he was so good???” *Roger starts loudly playing the drums and singing I’m in love with my car* *talking over the drums* F: “DID HE DO THAT THING WITH HIS TONGUE?” B: “HOLY SHIT YES THAT DROVE STEVE CRAZY!” F: “OH! ROGER YOU ACTUALLY LISTENED TO ME FOR ONCE!” *roger screaming* “RATHER BUY ME A NEW CARBURETOR” B: “AND DAMN DOES HE KNOW HOW TO FUCK! THOSE GIRLS WERE N O T LYING” *Roger screaming louder* “CARS DON’T TALK BACK THEY’RE JUST FOUR WHEELED FRIENDS NOW” *Billy somehow louder* “HE EVEN SAID HE’D DO IT AGAIN!!” *freddie to Roger* “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU DARLING!!!”

*roger just screaming unintelligibly* F: “ROGER! QUIET!” He stops, and is panting Billy elbows Freddie like B: “He was panting just like that last night” R: “BYE” *hits them both with his drumsticks as he’s leaving* *simultaneously through their laughter* "Ooh so you’re into THAT aren’t you??” R: “Fuck you both” B: “Please???” *flips them off while laughing* *pops his head back through the door* R: “Actually, I’d rather have Steve fuck ME. That’d be interesting.” *slams it* *billy and Freddie slowly turn to look at each other and start screaming* “THAT’S SO FUCKING HOT” *cough* he totally gets fucked over his drum set at some point *cough* And he LOVES it S T O P FUCK HE LOVES IT SO MUCH. HE AND STEVE FUCK BILLY OVER THE DRUM SET SO BILLY CAN ENJOY IT TOO AND HE PLAYS THEM WHILE THEY’RE DOING IT

HE MAKES BILLY GUESS THE SONG AND AS SOON AS HE CAN’T ANYMORE THEY KNOW HE’S GONE HE PLAYS I’M IN LOVE WITH MY CAR AND WHEN HE CAN’T EVEN GET THAT ONE THEY KNOW HE’S R E A L L Y GONE

BILLY’S SOBBING ALL OVER THE DRUMS AND THERE’S CUM AND SPIT AND LUBE ON EVERYTHING AND ROGER KEEPS ON PLAYING AND FUCKING AND THE DRUMS MAKE THE GROSSEST SOUNDS BECAUSE THEY’RE COVERED BUT ITS THE BEST F U C K AND STEVE CANT HANDLE IT AND BILLY’S MUSH AND ROGER IS COMPLETELY IN CHARGE AND HE KNOWS IT

Fuck wait Roger wincing/whimpering when he sits down to play the next day YES WHIMPERING IS BETTER He forgets to clean off the drums and Brian asks him about it BR: “Roger, what’s up with the drums? Why are they so. . . Sticky?” R: “NO CLUE” Freddie pops in late “He fucked on those drums” R: “FREDDIE!” “What? It’s true!” BR: “WHAT THE HELL ROGER?! WHY!????!!!” R: *mumbled* “it was hot ok??” BR: *exasperated* “can’t you at least clean them after?!” R: “I mean I would’ve if my legs still worked” BR: “FUCK MAN is that why you were being all weird when you sat down??” R: “. . .” Brian walks away muttering “Not like I fuck on my damn guitar. Can’t believe I touched that shit.”

part two

#steve harrington #Billy Hargrove #harringrove #ben hardy #roger taylor

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tumblunni · 5 years

Text

I had a really weird dream last night where it started off as some unrelated nightmare and then as soon as it got scary dr maddiman appeared and now it was all about him? Uhh, thanks madds! I wish i could learn how to do that on purpose, being able to summon your fave charries to save you from depression would be awesome!

The nightmare part was really damn weird, it was just my fear that if someone asks me to hold a baby i would mess up and drop it. So in this nightmare i did, and somehow its entire head splattered open like a jar of ravioli sauce IT WAS SO FUCKIN SCARY! and i was desperately running around the whole town asking anyone to call an ambulance but for some illogical reason they all said no, even though the mother was crying desperately over the baby clinging barely to the last shreds of life. IT WAS REALLY TENSE AND DISTURBING!! LIKE A WHOLE FUCKIN EYEBALL FELL OUT OF THE BABY’S HEAD how in the fuck even, it only fell like 30 centimetres onto some grass GAHHH im probably never gonna be able to hold a baby ever again.

So yeh I’m 90% sure that TRULY HORRIFIC nightmare was caused by the lack of sleep and general stress ive had over the last few weeks due to imminant moving house. BUT THANKFULLY SOMEHOW YOKAI WATCH SAVED ME

seriously it was so weird, one second i was in the whole scaryness and then suddenly it was the “nursing home for elderly yokai” and all previous plot was forgotten in favour of cute madds time. thank you whatever part of my subconcious is constantly occupied by my current viddygame obsession at all times!

the plot was apparantly that dr maddiman got sent to a nursing home against his will, and he was like ‘hello excuse me i know my family would not abandon me like i abandoned them, you are absolutely lying that they just dont want to visit me ALSO IM NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO BE HERE’ (cos well he’s an old dad but in yokai years he’s practically a newborn, right?) So his quest was to figure out how to escape this place and get back to his son, he was SUPER PANICKED that clifford would think he’d just abandoned him again. like this seemed to take place directly after some hypothetical yokai watch 4 quest where they actually reunite and started living together again, cos madds was having flashbacks to cliff hugging the turtle yokai and being all ‘im so happy i have little brothers’. But then literally the next day after that happy ending, madds just woke up trapped in this weird supernatural prison claiming to be a nursing home, so HEY YO WTF IS GOIN ON?

And the style of this dungeon was REALLY COOL! it was totally like a prison with nursing home themed decorations and stuff, and a bunch of comedic prison warden/nurse monsters who were SUPER BUFF and kept yelling stuff like ‘TIME FOR BINGO NIGHT’ *shoots giant bingo chips as weapons* or ‘TIME FOR A SPONGE BATH’ *bonks you with a sponge for 1 damage* *BONKS YOU WITH AN ENTIRE BATH FOR 999 DAMAGE* The biggest challenge however was gaslighting? like, every one of these clearly yokai nurses was all ‘oh everything is perfectly fine this is just a normal nursing home and you are totally human man’. So the gimmick for the dungeon was that all of madds’s powers were limited to only stuff he could do as a human, yet at the same time he still kept his yokai appearance and weaknesses like the big frankenheart. So it was an excuse for the gameplay to be similar to the main yokai watch series, you’d ‘catch’ other yokai to help fight for you. Madds had to find other patients trapped here and pull them out of the illusions to add more people to his party. And he was also kinda really damn badass?? Still fought with throwing his scalpels and making evil potions and stuff even though all his magic was sealed. Like “dude my ultimate move was already one of my inventions rather than an actual spell, youre really underestimating me.” And of course he had to get REAL SERIOUS because the love of his son was at stake!!!!!! But he was still the same funny doctor, there were a few good scenes of him struggling to get past physics based puzzles (it was like distortion world but with sofas?) cos he’s so short and fat. And i think one of the other old dads he could add to his party was that square journalist demon guy that ive seen in some fanart but i dunno what his name is? I recall he was sassing like “i thought fat dudes in overalls were supposed to be good at jumping”, and teasing madds by taking photos of him falling off stuff and threatening to post an article of his top 10 fails. But I also got the sense that it wasnt really cruelty but just an attempt to piss madds off so he wouldnt give up? like ‘nyaah nyahh come get me i’m up here’ and then he’d actually grab his hand and help him up if he reached him. Like he was actually very grateful to madds for saving him, cos he’d come to investigate the story of the evil nursing home and got trapped instead. But he was too tsundere to admit his gratefulness so he was just saying he hated him while also being super loyal and helping him fight? I dunno man this dream just randomly gave me the idea that they would be good quarrelsome yet cuddly friends!

Anyway, i couldnt recall all of the adventure after i woke up, but i think the ending was a boss fight against a clone of Hans Full? the villain behind the evil nursing home turned out to be dr nogut, who in my headcanons is maddiman’s dad so it was like an ironic punishment ‘you abandoned me so i’ll trap you in an illusion of your kids abandoning you’. ‘no dad i ran away cos you were an abusive prick, and it was your own damn fault you died in unrelated circumstances. ALSO YOU MISSED THE MEMO I ALREADY HAD FAMILY ABANDONMENT PLOTS’ (I think a way madds knew this was all an illusion is cos the details the nurses told him were missing everything that happened? Like ‘oh yes your family totally love you and nothing is wrong’, cos evil gramps just assumed his son had run off and had a perfectly perfect life that he was jealous of)

Anyway, nogut had made a bootleg knockoff of hans full and was like SEE HOW YOU FARE AGAINST YOUR OWN ULTIMATE CREATION (EXCEPT BETTER COS I MADE IT) And madds had some sort of badass one liner like ‘he wasnt just a weapon to me, he’s my son’. And him and his army of good dads managed to defeat Second Hans without killing it, to prove a point to jerkass dad about what true dadness is. It was a really bizzare way of winning, though! He suddenly broke the fourth wall and said “if i run far enough out of the loading area then the chasing AI will stop”, then blasted a hole in the wall and just set off running into the void of untextured scenery. i guess that could kinda work in-universe too, considering that this was an illusion dungeon? like maybe illusions just work that way, lol. So nogut’s big boss monster just was unable to move beyond the limits of the dungeon walls, but nogut himself was real so he could keep following them. Madds had to fuckin run a mile a minute to dodge flying knives from this dude, but pissing him off was exactly what he wanted! They ran so far into the void that nogut’s illusion dungeon ‘despawned’, and they were just stuck here. Like ‘if you want to get out, you have to uncast the spell and let all of us out!’ So he did, and then everyone was able to beat him up with their full powers and also madds’s son and all of his friends busted in thru the window halfway thru and joined in, it was basically maximum catharsis time! Also it turned out he was only using illusions to make his bootleg hans look bigger and tougher than the real thing, it was actually a pocket size wimpy version cos he sucks. So as well as rescuing madds they also adopted Second Hans and everything was super cute and even more family than before~!

so yeh a very good anti anxiety dream right after an anxiety dream, lol

#weird dream tag #i rarely actually have dreams about my fave characters so this was nice #had a pretty decent plot too!

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wovenstarlight · 6 years

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god i love bnha but youve all already seen the posts which are like “bnha had so much potential it couldbe been a story of how you dont need to fit in and have quirks like everybody else, you can still be a hero, but the mc just got a superpowered quirk and now its just your regular old shounen” so i wont go on about that

but anyway like. the idea of quirkless hero deku. if he had become a hero as is..... -it couldnt have happened with him still living where he did, growing up where he did with the surroundings he had. we already know how that played out in canon. if he’s to become a hero while being quirkless, he needs some kind of change in environment, yeah?

and like. i cannot pass up the chance to have him be friends with hatsume mei. imagine izuku growing up friends with her, he’d be enabled to live to full chaotic neutral potential with his eerily precise quirk analysis and her ridiculous machines and devices

im thinking that when izuku was about to go into middle school, maybe inko got some kind of job (promotion if shes already working) that had her be transferred to another area, which just so happens to be near where hatsume lives. izuku is so, so hopeful that these new folks will be kind, but then they learn he’s quirkless and three of them corner him outside after school and his hopes shatter like fragile glass as one of them uses their quirk to paralyze him and they all laugh-

and then this, this pink haired girl with weird glasses ducks under one of their arms and reaches into her pocket and pulls out, holy fuck is that a stun gun? and she zaps the bullies and grins very wide and they run yelling and izuku’s like “you saved my goddamn life” and pink-hair says “i saw your notebook! seems like youre pretty insightful, i wanna work with you” and thats how mei and izuku meet and become ride-or-die friends

they’re over at each others houses pretty much all three years of middle school. hatsume couldn’t care less that he’s quirkless- as long as he can hand her her tools when she needs them and tell her when she’s doing something wrong, she’s fine with him. and it’s so very refreshing for izuku to have this reinforcing presence who actually looks past his quirklessness. he picks up tinkering and whatnot, working on the software portion while hatsume irons out the physical kinks in her support devices, and she gives izuku all sorts of cameras he uses to record fights and analyze quirks afterwards. they talk quirks and robots together and mei comes up with so many new devices, half of them brought to life by izuku’s hyperactive imagination

when it comes time for entering high school, they both already know they want to go to yuuei. and izuku’s no idiot, he knows that hes disadvantaged by being quirkless. he’s been building up strength by helping mei in her workshop and learning to fight in martial arts courses, with the wholehearted support of inko and the hatsume family. even so he’s likely not got the simple advantage of Having A Quirk that everyone else does.

“if you don’t have a quirk,” mei wonders idly as she tightens another screw. “i mean, if you don’t have the biological power, then why not use an artificial one?” she puts down her screwdriver and pats the grip-strengthening glove she’s finished. “just use some of my babies.”

“oh,” says izuku, and he applies for yuuei and submits half a dozen equipment applications for the exam alongside.

lord but what about the exam... if he bumps into uraraka again he wouldn’t be so nervous, he might drop a gadget he’s carrying and ask her brightly about her quirk and they talk quirks and gadgets and heroes excitedly all the way into the building, izuku carefully steering the conversation away from his own quirk. he doesn’t get scolded by iida because he’s trained himself to scribble down his thoughts rather than mumble them (because he can hear mei’s eccentric additions better than way). besides, he’s too busy checking on his proto-jetpack and his electric pulse bombs(?) and his extendable staff and making sure they’re undamaged and usable

he’s a quick runner from all his training, so when he walks into the exam field he’s quick to seek out robots and throw his pulse bombs at them (press once for an electric stunner that’ll throw off a human for a few seconds, press twice for a larger pulse that’ll disable any machinery). he racks up points quickly, and then the zero-pointer comes out. izuku goes “ah, fuck!” when he sees uraraka lying prone and bolts to grab her, yelling for the students running away to help him get her to safety. this tall purple-haired student comes running back, visibly nervous at how close the bot is getting.

“uraraka-san, i know you’re exhausted, but use your quirk on me,” izuku says urgently. uraraka clumsily slaps him and he grins, instructing the purple haired kid (”ah, my name’s shinsou,”) to piggyback her as far away as he can get. then he jumps up using his jetpack to fly up to the ‘head’ of the zero-pointer, and tries a pulse bomb on its surface. all it does is make a panel pop off, but that’s enough for izuku- he grabs a handful of the exposed wires and rips them the hell out. the zero-pointer slows to a stop, and then- the wires start sparking oddly, and izuku remembers that all the damaged robots flared with electricity soon after being broken. he shoves himself off the bot just in time, because the wires in front of him explode, and izuku’s blown back by the force of the explosion. it’s okay, he thinks, he can just jetpack himself to safety- and then he starts falling

down on the ground, shinsou looks worriedly at uraraka on the verge of passing out. they’ve had to keep stopping because she’s feeling so sick. he knows she won’t be able to release her quirk if she’s unconscious, so it’ll probably continue to take a toll on her. when he looks around, he sees iida nearby, teeth gritted as he desperately wars with himself about running away. “uraraka-san?” shinsou asks. “yes,” uraraka says, and then her eyes go glassy. “release your quirk,” shinsou orders, turning to the sky and spotting izuku almost immediately. shinsou turns back and yells to iida, making his voice sound desperate: “please! my friend here’s about to pass out! can you get us to safety?” iida looks over, startled: “oh, of cou-!” “i need you to catch that guy,” shinsou tells him, pointing at the falling izuku. “jump and knock him out of his trajectory, it should stop him from landing too hard.”

and that’s what happens: izuku is falling, uraraka on the ground panics, but then brainwashed iida zooms past them and jumps and grabs izuku. they both hit the ground hard, izuku grunting as his hatsume-reinforced shoes bite into his heels. iida gets knocked out of the brainwashing as soon as he slams into izuku, and is on the verge of turning and yelling at shinsou for manipulating him like that, but shinsou runs over and starts worrying quietly over izuku and uraraka and iida gets distracted. they all ask after izuku’s quirk, and he hesitates- “ah, thats...” when recovery girl shows up, ready to heal izuku’s twisted ankle.

later, izuku walks into class 1-a, and four different students bolt to their feet. “you-!“ yell uraraka, shinsou, iida, and bakugou katsuki. izuku freezes as uraraka continues, “you’re that guy with the electricity quirk! the one who took out the zero-pointer- you saved me, you-”

“deku,” bakugou whispers, panic leaking into his voice. “you’re- deku? you’re... you’re quirkless, what are you doing here?”

cue panic. after the initial shock and mild awkwardness about his quirklessness, uraraka, iida, and shinsou all band tightly together with izuku, quickly becoming his closest friends after mei. eventually todoroki joins their little group, and everyone learns not to underestimate the quirkless kid. all might does offer one for all to izuku at some point, but he hesitates and turns him down. “it’ll mean too much to the quirkless kids, you see,” he explains. “to have a quirkless hero. i can’t take that away from them. and besides, being quirkless- it’s part of me. i don’t want to throw that away.” and all might nods, understanding, and offers his limited guidance instead. even if he can’t give this kid power, he can lend him a hand while he fights through the world.

im hungry and havent eaten yet so i havent given thought to the rest of this story yet, but at some point in the future quirkless hero deku kneels in front of an indescribably happy and crying quirkless kid, and he hugs them and tells them they can be anything they goddamn want and damn it, deku’s gonna help them get there.

#bnha #midoriya izuku #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #star.txt #lord i typed more than i expected to

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hoyoungy · 6 years

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001. Sanctioned | Jun

genre: comedy, mentions of sex, college/roommates au, friends with benefits au | jun x fem!reader summary: dating does not come easy to apartment 417. sex is even worse. well, maybe it was just you. it seems like everyone you know is able to get laid, get a date - hell, even a hug! you look sad and desperate as you wallow in your dry spell, so when your roommates soonyoung, mingyu, and minghao try to be your wingmen on a saturday night, you end up signing a no-strings-attached contract with a very familiar, but very much willing face word count: 2839 a/n: .... i know i literally just said i didn’t want to post this soon...... yet here i am..... im sorry..... warnings include swearing, alcohol, mentions of sex, dialogue-heavy, and platonic relationships

part 002

“I think I’m gonna be celibate,” you said as you plopped down on the couch next to Soonyoung. You just wasted the past couple of days talking to this guy on Tinder and you just found out he was about to graduate… high school. You would think college would be the prime time for you to find a hookup through a free dating app, but boy, were you wrong. Probably because people your age were being competent adults who didn’t need an app to talk to someone.

“You said that last week,” Soonyoung said, not looking up from his textbook on the coffee table. He knew this routine all too well.

“But I mean it this time.”

“Didn’t you also say that last week?”

“I’m sure I did.”

“Did something happen to that Felix guy on Tinder?”

“He was so young it felt illegal,” you groaned.

“Like, Chan young?”

“Younger.”

“Jesus Christ, you cradle-robber.”

“Shut up, I know, ok! It’s not my fault, he totally lied about his age!”

“I don’t know, _____, you’re not getting any younger. Who knows, maybe young guys could be your new thing? It seems to be working. I know a few people! For example, Mingyu -”

“Soonyoung, I will not begin my cradle-robbing career with Mingyu, of all people.”

“Did someone say cradle-robbing and my name in the same sentence? Is there an older woman in need?” you both heard Mingyu say as he walked through the front door. He tossed his backpack near the collection of shoes in the corner before grabbing a snack in the kitchen like he always did when he came home.

“Ugh, I can just feel my panties drying up every time you speak.”

“Words can hurt, you know.”

“Are we making fun of Mingyu again?” Minghao said as he left his room to join you all.

“I literally just got home, can’t I have a snack first?” he pouted.

“Guys, it’s 4:00 PM, which means it’s my hour to complain! If we aren’t going to follow the schedule, then this is anarchy.” You referred to the poorly-drawn clock on the dry erase board that hung in the kitchen. Every hour that struck 11 or 4, AM or PM, was your time to complain about anything and everything, and the rest of the time was divided amongst the rest of the roommates. Your complaining got so out of hand that the boys decided to punish you by giving you set hours in a day and you were sure to use up every damn second.

“Sorry, Mingyu just makes it so easy,” Minghao snorted. “So what’s up?”

“What’s up is that I haven’t had sex in six months.”

“I am eating, you penis-repellant,” Mingyu scolded with cheeks full of food.

“My God, six months? I thought six days was bad… What happened with that Sungjin guy you brought home a couple of months ago?” Soonyoung asked.

“He ended up, um… Crying…”

“About what!?”

“Bro, I don’t even know, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Yikes, ok. How about Sehun from Accounting?”

“Passed out when we got home.”

“Jin from the bar?”

“Strictly a cuddler.”

“Uh, Gymhead Youngjae?”

“Pulled a muscle before the foreplay started.”

“Steven the exchange student!?”

“See, it was going well, but the language barrier was kind of a big thing -”

“Good lord, you really are a penis repellant,” Soonyoung sighed. “You’re hopeless.”

“Couldn’t even get with Steven the exchange student,” Mingyu tisked.

“Guys, what do I do ~ !?” You threw your face into the nearest pillow. The years of your youth were dwindling down with each passing second and all you wanted to do was to have some fun, but these past six months have amounted to nothing.

You couldn’t blame anyone else but yourself, though. You’ve been single your entire college career - like, never had a boyfriend, but have gone on dates and had hookups and it was all by choice. These were the best, stressless four years of your entire life. You didn’t wanted to bother with your never-ending fear of commitment, but it was starting to take a real toll on your needs. If you just sucked it up and got a boyfriend, you wouldn’t be looking like a desperate mess.

“Let’s go out tonight,” Mingyu suggested. “It’s a Saturday night, midterms are over, we’ll be each other’s wingman, and I heard Jun’s throwing a banger ~”

“Jun!?” you screeched. “Isn’t his place like, super nice?”

“Yeah, his rent is ridiculous, but that’s how all foreign exchange students are.” All at once, you, Mingyu, and Soonyoung glared at a cowering Minghao who wore his Gucci slip ons. “C’mon, we’ll get all gussied up and have fun and - oh! Let’s all match!”

“Why…”

“Uh, because we’re a squad? Duh?”

“Fine, but I only wear black when I go out. It’s slimming.”

“Agreed, it makes my cheeks look not as squishy,” Soonyoung said.

“And it makes my orange hair stick out,” Minghao nodded.

“Ugh, you’re all so boring. Black it is. And we’re leaving promptly at 10:30 PM or his infamous concoction of Moon Juice, trademark is gonna run out.”

“Guys, can you be real with me and judge my outfit?” you asked as you stepped out from your room. The other three were ready to go, sitting in the living room. They all looked in your direction with wide eyes when you came out in an all black outfit that looked too hard to breathe in. “Be honest, does this scream ‘I’m desperate, please have sex with me’ ?”

“Your shoes sort of whisper ‘I’m both desperate and old’, but the outfit is yelling into a microphone saying ‘I am ready to drop to my knees any second’,” Minghao nodded as a matter-of-factly.

“That has to be the nicest thing you have ever said to me,” you smiled. “Ok, let’s get drunk and get laid ~!”

“We sound so sad right now,” Soonyoung sighed, closing the door behind him.

“So what’s the game plan? Is there an outline? An itinerary? Syllabus, maybe? Examples from previous students last semester?”

“All I know is Mingyu’s in charge.”

“Hell yeah, I’m in charge. And the plan is that there is no plan.”

“What, how could there be no plan?” you asked.

“You can’t make plans to get laid, that takes the whole fun out of the equation! See, we’re probably going to be, like, the best looking people there, and that means we have to be the ones playing hard to get.”

“That’s the exact opposite of what I’m trying to be.”

“Lucky for you, you won’t have to try hard because you kind of make yourself hard to get already when your standards are impossibly high.”

“They are not impossibly high!”

“Didn’t you turn down a guy because he wore man-flops?”

“Yeah, but -”

“And that one guy who wore really low v-necks?” Minghao chimed.

“Ok, well -”

“Can’t forget the one guy in our Stats class who wrote with 1.0 mm pens and pencils -”

“That is a completely valid reason, Soonyoung, and you know it! No one older than ten writes with such a large diameter!” you pouted. “Ok, I get it, I’m hard to get, but why is it when I’m trying to be easy to get, I still end up in bed alone?”

“Because you go for the guys who are also naturally hard to get! That’s the number one biggest mistake we beautiful people make all the time.”

“So you want her to bring home some ugly dude whose standards are as low as a sex doll with a fleshlight installed?” Soonyoung snorted.

“No, she just has to learn to play smart and pick out the guys like us - guys that only look like we’re playing hard to get.”

“Translation, Mingyu wants to have sex with you.”

“That is also true, but we signed a No Conflict-of-Interest contract, so I begrudgingly abide by it.”

“I almost forgot about that one. We have way too many contracts.” You sighed as the four of you arrived in front of Jun’s apartment - no, loft. If it was on the very top floor of a high-rise, you’d consider it a penthouse, it was that big. The door was tall and wide, made of some steel maybe? Iron? It was the most beautiful door you’ve ever seen, like it came out of a dream apartment catalog under the industrial themed homes, right next to the rustic section.

When Mingyu opened the door, there were so many people inside that even Mingyu couldn’t see past two rows of people.

“What the hell, it’s only 10:45! Why are there so many people here!? Minghao, call him ~!”

“Way ahead of you - yah, Hyung, we just got here!” Minghao yelled over the phone. “We’ll try to get to the windows. Bring four cups of juice while you’re at it!”

The four of you squeezed through the tight crowd with Minghao taking the lead. You took the opportunity to look at potential targets, but there was way too much going on to even focus on that. Jun had lots of plants and neon signs in his loft that you felt like you were in a music video set in California by some Soundcloud DJ. They really added to his cool, rich boy ambiance, except for the one guy taking a piss in one of the plant pots.

“See anyone you like yet?” Soonyoung asked once the four of you found an empty space to chill out in.

“I feel like I don’t eat enough avocado toast and arugula to get with anyone here…” you groaned. “Also, I don’t think my prescription is bad enough? This isn’t the pregame to a poetry slam, is it?”

“Why do you always ruin everything?”

“It’s the cynicism in me.”

“Found you!” Jun slipped through in front of you pinching four red cups filled with pink liquid. After handing each of you a cup, he casually wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pressing his cheek to the top of your head. “Ah, I missed you guys ~”

“Are you drunk?” you teased.

“No, I’m drunk.”

“Good lord…”

“The host isn’t supposed to be drunk!” Minghao scolded. “You do this every time and regret it because your place gets trashed!”

“It’s fine, I scheduled the cleaning crew to come at six tomorrow morning!” Jun giggled, squeezing your shoulders tightly. “I am having a great time, are you having a great time, _____?”

“I always have a good time drinking Moon Juice.” The drink touched your lips and you immediately cringed, regretting taking such a large gulp. It tasted much stronger than the first time he ever made it when you all were eighteen - was it supposed to burn this badly going down? “Holy shit, Jun, what’s in this!?”

“Lots of Everclear. I thought the new recipe was appropriate.”

“Good, she needs more of it.” Mingyu tilted your cup upwards, forcing you to gulp more down. “C’mon, you need more liquid courage before we start.”

“Start what?”

“Our hunt. It’ll end up being a scavenge if we continue at this pace.”

“Ooh, a hunt! I want to participate,”

“Wow, ok I am definitely feeling it,” you muttered, trying not to spit out the liquid heat. “I am feel - ing it…”

“Good, now go talk to that guy over there who’s been eyeing you since you walked in.” Mingyu gently shoved you towards a shy-smiling stranger across the way and you could feel your flirty instincts mix with the alcohol.

Let the hunt begin.

“Four hours,” you sighed. “I flirted for four hours and I got nothing!”

You were the only one left in Jun’s apartment, ‘helping’ him by drinking the rest of the Moon Juice so that it doesn’t go to waste and fueling your self-hatred. The guys left earlier, walking away much luckier than you and leaving you here to rot in your misery. Jun sat beside you with a cup of his own in his hands, listening to you rant for the last thirty minutes.

“I mean, I know I’m not the sexiest woman in the world, but I like to think that I’m kind of up there on the looker-scale, you know? Am I wrong, Jun?”

“Honestly, those guys are blind, _____.”

“Thank you!”

“Both theoretically and literally. Some of them are legally blind.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah…”

You sighed loudly again, kicking an empty cup that was on the floor in front of your feet. You tilted your head roughly to face Jun who only scowled at the mess everyone made. It was probably the alcohol talking, but in all your years of knowing Jun, you never previously appreciated how handsome he was as much as you are right now. His bone structure was so perfect and skin so clear and hair ends so kept together that you hated him for it.

“Stop looking at me like that, it’s embarrassing,” he chuckled.

“You’re just so damn perfect and I hate you.”

“See, if you were this charming earlier, you might have had someone to take home tonight! Why are you trying so hard, anyways?”

“Don’t laugh at me, ok?”

“No promises.”

“I haven’t had sex in six months.”

“Oh… Wow…” he whistled quietly, holding in his laugh. “I’m so sorry… Are you ok? Is there, like, something wrong with you, like did you have surgery or something -”

“Don’t pity me!”

“I’m not, I’m genuinely concerned for you! Do you at least play with yourself -”

“Shut up, for the love of God, don’t finish that sentence -”

“- or use toys, because if you don’t, I know a guy that sells customized ones and the quality is amazing -”

“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to scream.”

“Ok, ok,” he grinned. He playfully ruffled your hair when you kept the pout on your face. “Glad to see you’re still the same cute orientation leader that I met my sophomore year.”

“And you’re still the same reckless foreign exchange student that breaks the hearts of hundreds of young girls.”

“You flatter me too much.”

In the span of that short banter you and Jun shared, the two of you ended up with little-to-no space between each other on the couch. Your head fit comfortably on his broad shoulder and his soft hand felt warm as it rubbed your bare inner-thigh affectionately. His hand travelled a little higher with each stroke, sparking your interest and your core.

You knew exactly where this was headed.

“So, Jun…” you began awkwardly. “You wanna, like… you know ~”

“Good lord, is this how you’ve been asking guys to have sex with you this whole time!?” he asked. “No wonder they’ve all said no.”

“No…! I was totally cool about it when I asked…!”

“Prove it,” Jun challenged, sitting up to face you properly. “Show me how you ask to have sex.”

“Can’t you just be normal and carry me bridal-style to your room and, like, ruin me? Why do you have to test me!?”

“C’mon, _____, you know I’m not normal. I’m also trying to help you for future encounters. What if this is where your problem starts! Are you willing to risk that possibility?” Jun chuckled as you vigorously shook your head. “Good. Now show me how you ask, or we’re not doing it.”

“Ugh, you’re so weird!” you groaned, preparing your game-face reluctantly. “Ok, fine. Jun, will you ~ do the… do… with me.”

“Oh, my God, you are hopeless.”

“I am completely hopeless!” You buried your crying face into Jun’s strong, toned, and unexplainably exposed chest as he rubbed your back sincerely. “I need help!”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Jun, you need to help me.”

“Absolutely not -”

“Please, you are literally my only hope! Everyone in the apartment has done nothing to help me!”

“I’d much rather take your previous offer by just having sex with you instead,” he declared

“I mean, I assumed we were doing that anyways, but it’s not like you and I are going to keep it up after that.”

“Why not?” Jun’s smirking face leaned in close to yours so that the tips of your noses almost touched. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Are you proposing what I think you’re proposing? Because I don’t play games when it comes to deals, especially of this kind, Jun, so you better not be joking -”

“Holy shit, _____, you talk too much.”

After cutting you off, he aggressively pressed his lips to yours. He showed you that he wasn’t going to hold back tonight by shoving his tongue in your mouth and crawling on top of you on the couch. Even though you saw this coming, it didn’t stop your skin from feeling like fire wherever his hands touched you. The both of you were definitely still drunk and you both knew it when your hands messily explored each other’s bodies and struggled to remove each other’s clothes.

“Should we go to your room?” you asked breathlessly as Jun nibbled on the sensitive spot on your neck.

“Mm, no,” he muttered between kisses. “I don’t think I could wait that long.”

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untaitold · 6 years

Text

day 3 - perdix au / scully twins

here’s day 3! on day 4. i started it yesterday so... it counts. also i was like ‘lol im not going to repeat characters’ but chamos is just annoyingly fun to write so here he is again. this one is super messy atm but i’ll probably rewrite it eventually

SO YEA back to perdix. i do want to write something with Actual Perdix Characters but for now the faultverse streak continues. for context, perdix is essentially the urban fantasy slash crime drama setting and is half original verse, half AU. it’s the sister city to taitale.

i have too many AUs. but that’s okay

(crossposted on toyhouse)

There are three knocks on the door. Sharp, impatient ones. Cain glances up from the TV guide that’s his current makeshift grimoire (Charon, being Charon, had burnt up all the usable paper in the house yesterday). The clock tells him it’s ten past eleven, post meridiem. At this time of the night it’s most likely to be Grim. Except she’s out of town at the moment, visiting family at the cemetery up north.

“Char, are you expecting someone?” he yells. The clock continues to tap out its beat, but other than that, there’s no sound. Typical. He’s probably ignoring him just to be difficult.

Cain rubs his forehead, exhales deeply. As much as he hates arguing with his twin, he also hates letting him get away with just about anything and everything. This time he decides he’ll do his best not to give in, which means he’s just going to have to get used to the radio silence.

And it also means he’s going to have to be the one who answers the door.

“Please don’t be a salesperson, please don’t be a salesperson,” he mutters, slipping the magazine under a heap of gutted book covers.

Three more staccato knocks echo through the living room as he’s walking to the door.

“Chill your jets,” he mutters. “Jeez. I’m coming-”

The door swings open without him touching it, even though he locked it three hours ago. He freezes. In true Perdix fashion, three ethereal, overdressed strangers are hustled around his doorstep, none of them even looking directly at him. They’re beautiful, yes, in the cool, detached way the Circlet’s staff are. The last time he saw this particular trio, he’d been buzzed off his head on liquor. Not to mention full of shit. It seems his mistakes are finally back to haunt him.

But they don’t immediately drop a sick curse on him, or nick his soul, or whatever. They don’t even seem to care that he’s the same guy who tried to cheat them a couple of days ago. For some reason, the tallest is holding a cat at arm’s length.

“Charon Scully?” the one with peach-coloured hair asks.

Cain’s too surprised to correct them.

“I think this is yours,” they continue, and thrust the cat at him. It flicks him an uninterested look as Cain catches it and sticks out its tongue to lick its own nose.

“But I don’t own…” The door slams back shut. Cain stares blankly at the streaked wood. His heart is in his mouth. He thought he was going to die, but they gave him a fucking cat?

He holds said cat up to check whether it’s not secretly a magical attack cat or something. Cain doesn’t really know his cat species, but what he does know is that this one is one cute kitty, with thick tufts of grey fur sticking up in all directions. Round, pale eyes, the drab blue of a stormy sea, bore into him as if assessing him.

“Are you just gonna stare at me all night or what?” the cat says, and Cain shrieks.

He drops the cat. Luckily for him it leaps gracefully away, and finds a new perch on the shoe rack. It yawns deeply, running its tongue over its tiny fangs, and starts cleaning its paws.

And Cain suddenly feels really dumb. Of course the cat speaks. They live in Perdix. It’s rarer to find a cat that doesn’t comprehend a human language. Regardless, he backs away, rounding the doorway of the living room. Okay. Magical talking cat. That’s fine.

“What do you want from me?” he asks.

The cat huffs. “Dude, come on.”

Right, no, it wasn’t the cat talking that freaked him out. It’s more that the cat’s speaking in his voice. No, wrong again. It’s slightly deeper, more sardonic, almost bored in tone. The cat’s talking in Charon’s voice.

“Please don’t tell me that’s actually you,” Cain says. “I swear to god…”

“No, it is. I’m just a cat now.” Charon shrugs. “It happens.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘it happens?!’ What did you DO?”

“Save your life, dumbass. You might as well be grateful.”

Cain groans and hides his face in his hands. He’s starting to understand. “Oh, my god. You went back to the Circlet and did the bet.”

Charon stretches up. The second Cain lowers his arms, he leaps up. Cain’s knocked backwards by the force of four kilos of furball to the chest into the living room.

“Stop wriggling,” he snaps.

“I can’t get comfy.”

“Then sit on the sofa or som- AGH.”

Charon follows his advice, digging his claws into Cain’s arm as he propels himself onto the fleece throw. Cain himself drops down to the floor to sit cross-legged on a cushion. He feels lightheaded.

“So what I’m getting from this,” he says. “Is that you sneaked out specifically so you could get your stupid ass cursed-”

“You’re welcome.”

“I had it under control!”

Charon flicks his tail. “Yeah, sure. Hiding out here and pretending you’re not home? Worked real well.”

“Oh. Oh, shit.” Of course. The three fae made it past the iron barrier. The charms and sigils he so painstakingly set up have lost their edge. Which, by all accounts, doesn’t make sense. Another problem for tomorrow.

“Anyway, I hate the idea of having to pay all the rent myself, so I went over there, they assumed I was you, and then I cheated the hell out of that roulette wheel.”

“You cheated the Circlet?” Cain yelps. “Jesus.”

“You trashed the Circlet, idiot. I think we’re even.”

“I was drunk.”

Charon attempts to shrug, but it comes off more as him raising his haunches. “So, we’re both morons, but we’re alive. All thanks to me.”

“You? You’re a goddamn cat!”

“Hey. Only as punishment for cheating. They let up on the killing aspect. If you’d have gone, you’d be dead, cuz you’re ‘too nice’ to cheat.”

Cain groans. They aren’t even allowed pets in the apartment. He wonders whether that applies to shapeshifted morons. Knowing Grim, it probably did.

“On the bright side,” Charon says. “People really like cats.”

#cain #chamos #october writing

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prettysei-remade · 6 years

Photo

graphic design is my passion actually the last time i made a graphic of any kind was when i was like 10 and i have sadly Not magically improved since then rip;; also dont worry the comic sans is ironic im not that awful......or am i

hey there angels (instead of demons bc ur not demons ur all angels get it haha), it’s me, ya maknae! this is a very looooooong post so buckle in, my pals

AHEM

exactly this time last year, i was probably laughing and/or crying at the thought of ever having mutuals here, much less having too many to do a proper follow forever in a rush the day before i post it (rip) so becAUSE i ran out of time and would probably give up in the middle, i decided to just talk abt how much i love everyone in the Stream Team gc and also make a shitty graphic so i could bless ur guys’ new years with ot13 and make it seem like i know what i’m doing :)

ok im gonna get sappy for a sec and then u can all get to the part u actually care about (the part that’s also sappy but directed at specific people)

my friends!! my loves!!! the bestest people on the planet!!!!! i love you <3<3 you guys are the sweetest, kindest, most understanding, most hilarious group of friends in the world and i’m so fucking lucky to know all of you. you make me laugh,,you make me cry (in a good way),,,,,you make me like myself when i dont feel like it,,,,im so?? blessed??? to have people to talk to and scream abt kpop with and be myself around. i’m more comfortable with u guys than probably anyone else?? like. even irl because 1) i’ll probably never come out, 2) none of my friends know anything abt kpop, and 3) none of my friends are rlly.....aware of the things my brain tells me about myself sometimes. which brings me to the last thing before i start yelling abt u all in alphabetical order:

thank you guys for being the Good Brains to help out when my Mean Brain gets too mean.

💙

@byungjoo

laura!! idk if u think abt this as often as i do (probably not) but like,, remember before we were friends and we had that ““discussion”” for abt .2 seconds regarding toppdogg going on the unit and then i thought u hated me for a couple weeks and then we became like the most amazing friends?? well reminding you of that is basically my long roundabout way of saying that our friendship is kind of a miracle to me, and i’m so so thankful that you’ve become someone i can trust with anything and not be judged for it :’) you always know what to say and you always make me feel special when we talk and just?? wow...don’t forget me when you become the biggest bts blog in the world......i saw one of your gifsets that had like 5k+ notes and almost shed a tear i was so proud of u.. i love you and thank u for being amazing all the time!! and for introducing me to twice and gfriend aka the most amazing girls!!! and of course....#laurjoo5ever <3

@gipsydangger

yo jo (that was lame im sry you deserve better) you havent been in the chat for super long but you’re One Of Us and also 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad so lots of love for you!! thank you for singing all star with me in an attempt to cleanse our chat of ******** (im just (all)starring out his name so he doesnt find this post and try to eat my heart again), thank you for being so nice and thoughtful and sweet and all the other amazing things youve been already, thank you for giving iz a shot and somehow becoming a fan in like 5 minutes (???amazing) you!! are a rock star!!! wow!!!!!!

@hjjxxn

ok alex i know you’re not tec h ni c a l ly in the chat but lets be real;;you’re still my Toppklass Queen ;; ur adorable! ur so kind! u work so hard! ur such a sweetheart! forget toppklass queen, u r the queen of my heart 💖 i cant believe we’re both hojoon stans AND yoongi stans it’s like we were meant to be friends or smth idk?? and you got me into winner and sent me the bEST videos of them holy shit im still laughing abt the one where theyre dancing to ‘hello bitches’ jshdkahds and mino’s duck song,,i cri :’( you have the best taste so i’m vv grateful to know you in the first place and! talking to you is super fun even tho we dont do it often <3<3 ilu <3

@itsachocolatecake

jess <3 our leader,,mother,,,resident Cutie Pie <3<3 i am so fond of you?? you’re loads and loads of fun to talk with and the chat would be so different without u, i’m not even gonna imagine it!! instead im gonna remember how you always cheer me up right away and help me remember whats good about myself and tell me that i’m not alone and give me great ideas for metaphors involving brains (like mental brains not physical brains)!!! our mutualness (mutualism? mutuality?? idk) goes waaay back, like, relatively, so thank you for following me in the first place bc it means we’re friends now !! love you <3

@kimsanggyum

kaliiiiiii!! my wonderful fellow scorpio (AHEM i mean what im not a scorpio who said that i’ll fight them) ur super fun and cute and as soon as you joined u fit right in even tho we’re all kind of weird and now you are One Of Us and it’s kind of hard to believe that you havent been since the beginning?? you’re such a cutie and i love love love talking to you and stuff <3 jdkjsldf dog pics are one of the many ways to my heart and your dog is amazing!!! thank you for sharing!!! you are amazing!!! tell canyon monroe i love him (again) and tell him from me to be nice to laura too,,anyway!! love u lots <3

@lapillity

melia. you. are. the. best. my text posts never go noteless bc of you :’) you’re honestly truly just the greatest?? not just bc you like my text posts tho, youre genuinely sweet and suuuuper nice like,,i cant say anything bad about any of the Stream Team tbh but MELIA!!1! you would have to murder a man for a not-justifiable reason for me to say anything bad about you :/ i think you are an Angel and you’re so cute??how are u so cute i dont get it :(( thanks for being my friend and also helping me reject that guy that one time,,without you i definitely would’ve screwed things up tbh so seriously!! thank you and i love you <3<3

@minty-sugar-kpop

minty i think i should tell u now that whenever i type “rip” on my phone the next suggested word is always “minty” :’) we’re always screaming abt kpop groups together like!! when clap was released u screamed about seventeen with me!!! when i told u i was getting into twice u screamed about twice with me!! when nothing else is happening u scream about toppdogg with me (and the rest of us)!!!! i love that youre as excited about your fave groups as i am about my fave groups because it helps remind me that it’s NOT weird to be really super extremely dedicated to things that make u happy and i still struggle with that sometimes so.... thanks for being you i guess?? also for getting rid of ******** from our chat with the power of ot13 :’)) love you <3<3<3

@reallyabananya

kat!! my Superhero!!! the lifegiver for minsung stans everywhere;; i am so grateful for literally everything you’ve ever done in your life but specifically 1) translating every. single. one. of minsung’s often long and very complex posts, 2) being my role model for running an update-esque blog! like!! if kat can do everything she does for her blogs and translate stuff and be so efficient at everything, i can do it for my one tiny little blog!!, 3) working so hard but always being so so sweet to everyone and being so amazingly humble all the time and being somebody i admire not only as a blogger but as a person too <3 (wow that was che e s y lol) im love you!! <3

@saltygot7

hi kendall! another scorpio wowie!!! of course i say “another” bc i already mentioned how kali is a scorpio,,it’s not because i’m a scorpio. because i’m not haha. anyway. im sorry i let ******** come between us, i know you didn’t mean to create a demon that would eventually possess both you and your phone and try to eat all of our hearts. i know and i’m sorry and i love you!!! i also know that you still think those asks u sent were hilarious but i forgive you bc i know you love me too <3<3 i can’t believe my Ultimate Bias and the true visual of our group loves me!! wow!!! thanks for all your amazing selfies, they always make me smile :’) you rlly know how to cheer everyone up and get us in a happy mood and just,,,thanks for always being your lovely self! love u lots <3

@sunshinesanggyun

bella 💕 i love you, i love you, i love you 💕 idk if you know this or not, but you were actually my first tk mutual <3 i remember when i got the notif that you followed me back and i was so excited because this person!! this person with an amazing blog and who i already thought was super cool!! wanted to follow me!!! i still think it’s amazing that you wanted to be my friend but i can’t really say that i “can’t believe it” anymore because i can;;; you’re my friend and i’m your friend and i love you!! i’ll remind you of that every day if i have to. you’re the other 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad (along with jovano) and it makes me so happy that you’re a fan now too!!!! you’re just awesone tbh?? you help me with my shitty stuff and i try my best to help you with your shitty stuff and!! you’re one of my best friends!! i’m so so happy and lucky and blessed and thankful to know you! never forget how much i love you forever 💕💕💕

@toppdoggzz

jacqueline;; the awesome aunt that’s super nice and who helps people when they’re sad;;(i can’t remember jess’s exact wording but it was True);;;; you’re so cool and amazing and honestly i find it incredible how you’ve been with bts from the beginning!! is that a weird thing to say as a compliment?? shdfsdhkd sorry but sticking with a group from debut is really admirable, especially because bts didnt start out super big but you stayed with em anyway :’) you’re such a star and you reblog my selfies when i ask you to (btw ur tags on my latest selfies had me cryin;;find someone who will compliment you every day like jacqueline complimented my decent-ish selfies;;) and you’re so great to talk with and yeah!! i love u!!!!

@zombietwink

isaiah. i hope u believe me when i say, from the very bottom of my heart: you are the Meme to my Internet Connection, the Cherry to my Bomb, the Chanyeol to my.....You. idk. you take my worst text posts that i make at like 3am and add the best things to them and make them Good and i love our convos in the replies of my posts alsjdsfjjs also can i just say?? i’m still not 100% sure what the whole thing is with like the “kin” meme (i get what it is but i dont rlly Get It u know) but literally any mention of it ever reminds me of you :’) it’s actually astounding how many memes make me think of you tbh..anyway, ur very very cute and soft and nice and youve been mutuals with me for a Long Time so thanks for thinking im cool enough to follow!!! and for still following me!!! love you <3

wow that took a long time but it was worth it!! tho i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you just skipped everything and only read the little section abt you lmao

well, happy new year! i hope lots of really good, and happy, and lovely, and wonderful things are waiting for you in 2018 ✨✨✨

#it took me abt 4 hours to make this post #thats how much i love all of you <3 #also i typed out a million little ''<3''s sldjflkdfsd #i never want to type one again except i do because they sometimes help me say i love you so it's all worth it!#u guys are worth everything!!!#✨💖💞✨💛💓✨❤️💗✨💓✨❣️💓✨💕💗💛✨❤️💖✨✨#ruby says things #mutuals <3 #<3 #DISCLAIMER: there were abt 2 people i didnt include bc i dont know their urls and we're not mutuals and we never talk so..........

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