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#instant slurpee
nathandrakeisabottom · 4 months
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Yesss please sam drake food/eating hcs?? Fave meals, hated meals, etc
It is with great joy and great belatedness that I post my first Uncharted piece in ages. Thank you for the lovely ask, anon. :)
⋆ Sam Drake - Eating Headcanons ⋆
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Two words: scarcity mindset.
After running away from Saint Frances’s, to claim money was tight is to be telling some humorous bit, Money was borderline non-existent. And as such, came what the Drake boys do best: theft. 
Liquor stores were their easiest, and most consistent source. Sam still takes great pride in telling his many stories revolving around ‘cashier meet-cutes’ disguising their proudest heist to date: a 12-year-old Nathan smuggling canned goods under a moth-holed hoodie. 
Because of this, gas station snacks: twinkies, Lays chips, slurpees, etc. all tend to give him this simultaneous sense of nostalgia and nausea. Like when you’re eating eggs and all of a sudden, your body gags on the next bite.
But on an especially shitty day, expect him to be gobbling a Big Gulp and a half-frozen hot dog on the nearest street corner, with a half-smoked cigarette still sunken between his lips. It’s the way he wallows. 
Secretly wants you to tell him how bad that shit is for him so he has an excuse to snottily spat back “who the ‘ell cares?”. He finds pride in not caring about anything. (He cares about everything.)
Getting fast food at the drive-thru? Man waves you off a total of three times claiming he doesn’t want nothing before proceeding to eat half of your McNuggets without asking. He loves BBQ sauce and needs Tabasco on everything like it’s his will to live.
Big fan of spicy, sour, and tart, anything that makes your mouth pucker. Pretzels, salt and vinegar chips, cottage cheese, pickles, pineapple (😉). “What can I say? I admire a fruit that fights back!” — he snorts before taking a raw bite of a lemon, just to squirm you out.
Maybe a bit of the masochist in him. 
When he and Nate were able to get proper gigs (12-year-old Nathan: illegally, of course), they were able to progress to the simplest of grocery outlet options. Eggs, instant ramen packets, canned vegetables that were 9 out of 10 times eaten raw out of the can with a fork, and more nothing-but-toast-for-dinner than they’d want to admit).
Sam and Nate spent most of their childhood eating their dad’s scrambled eggs and microwaved peas. When their mom passed, and dad released them to the state, Sam decided he’d only ever eat over-easy again.
Nate still chooses scrambled. He asks for cheese and green onions to split the difference, but always ends up only eating half of it before the memories come too strong and he has to push his plate away. 
QUICK eater. MESSY eater. And I mean quick and messy. 
Will use as minimal cutlery as possible, and if disposable, even better.
A scooper. Tends to be a chronic careless spiller with how frequently he tries to funnel all the last crumbs into his mouth, how quickly he chugs even a glass of water. (Most shirts of his are stained as a result.)
Tends to wait till the last possible moment to eat or drink anything. Breakfast basically doesn’t exist to him. 
Spills more beverage down his chin and shirt than his mouth (but a wet t-shirt certainly isn’t the worst thing to happen. Especially not to Samuel Drake. ;)
Pizza order: Meat Lover’s with extra sausage. Maybe some green bell peppers when he finally compromises with Nate during movie night.
Never, ever orders (well, non-alcoholic) drinks when eating out. And only water when he finally lets himself cave. Otherwise, he’s stealing sips from the nearest patron’s Jarrito bottle (his favorite is Tamarind).
Doesn’t bother cleaning up his fruit peels or peanut shells, even around others. That shit’s going on the floor without a second look.
Surprisingly, a king and natural on the BBQ. Despite having so little in their childhood, Sam still tried to go hard on the holidays for Nathan’s sake. Fourth of July is still Nate’s favorite holiday exclusively because of Sam’s public park-smoked ribs and the long, bumpy motorcycle ride up the highest hill in whatever city they were currently loitering in, just to see the fireworks. 
A dive bar master. Nate always orders whatever grease-covered appetizer they got in the back. Sam purposely keeps his stomach empty so there’s more room for whiskey. (Since nobody asked, incredible at pool, and will offer any woman in a twenty foot circumference a lesson. Cue the leaning chest over back, cue stick fantasy.)
A love language that was a total surprise to him is his partner cooking/baking something just for him, especially if it’s from scratch. Gets that rare, soft look in his eyes as he watches them carefully place each steaming plate onto the table. And trust, he’s not looking at the food when it happens.
Loves his partner in an apron. Like… loves his partner in an apron.
Make him food, and as soon as it’s eaten, he’s eating you after. ;)
When he finally settles down post-Madagascar, it’s a fucking struggle to get him to go grocery shopping at all for the first few months. 
Self-punishment, maybe. 
Nathan buys them himself instead and leaves them on the porch of Sam’s trailer park home when he’s too depressed to answer the door. 
Basically has to be forced to eat actual meat and vegetables. For the first few months, he reverts and eats only familiar prison food. The same single pot of chili/beans for a whole week, half portions only for each meal. Uncooked canned carrots. Microwave popcorn when Nathan calls him asking if he’s eaten, and when Sam lies, it sounds more believable with the microwave droning in the background.
However, when he finally starts to pick himself back up, when he gets his first day job since prison, finally lets Nate buy him a used truck to get around, his first solo call from Sully, that’s when he finally starts to eat.
And when he finally feels like himself again, when he finally lets himself want to live again, the first hobby that Sam Drake takes up is cooking.
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lunaryrs · 4 months
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🎵 cora and sienna
team / lorde
call all the ladies out, they're in their finery. a hundred jewels on throats, a hundred jewels between teeth. now bring my boys in, their skin in craters like the moon. the moon we love like a brother while he glows through the room. dancing around the lies we tell, dancing around big eyes as well. even the comatose, they don't dance and tell.
this one representing the entire friend group... i think they're so early lorde coded because they're so small town punk bitch royalty, skateboard wheels on cracked asphalt, slurpees in the parking lot, the gaggle of them with bruised knees and scuffed converse feeling on top of the world cuz their little hole-in-the-wall bar doesn't look too hard at their fake IDs when its otherwise dead on tuesday nights.
youth / troye sivan what if we run away? what if we left today? ... what if we start to drive? what if we close our eyes? what if we're speeding through red lights into paradise? 'cause we've no time for getting old, mortal bodies, timeless souls. cross your fingers, here we go. ... my youth is yours.
ummm why do i need ot explain this one just read the words. no i'm kidding i had a whole thought out thing for this one but i prioritized writing out other ones and then jake called me in the middle of doing that and i forgot about everything and this whole meme went to shit and here we are. but i know that you have a big brain and honestly? even if you didn't this one is pretty self explanatory.
16 / sadie jean
your old room, these walls look different. nothing's new, just days and distance. and i'm freaked out the more i realize it's gone now, but sometimes i want to be 16 at the park, parked in your dad's car. ... best friends, wanna get drunk in a backyard. so cool hanging out in the backyard. girl talk, talk about boys like it's business. mom's mad, gotta get home this instant. 16, bittersweet.
bram is only a baby and all but fuck that guy for coming between them like this............ i don't know i just picture cora in that little apartment with the baby reminiscing on the youth that she had/should still have rly and seeing her friendship w sienna at the center of it all. reflecting on the passing of time and all that's been lost and gained. they're still in each other's lives they'll just never have that version of themselves back and i think cora wishes she recognized how good those moments were when she was in them
"slut!" / taylor swift
flamingo pink, sunrise boulevard. clink clink, being this young is art. aquamarine moonlit swimming pool. what if all i need is you? ... adorned with smoke on my clothes, lovelorn and nobody knows. love thorns all over this rose. ... but if i'm all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us. and if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once.
my little lesbianism au... i love it because it conjures up images of like the neighborhood pools they'd hop the fence into, them attached by their pinkies floating side by side on tacky pool floats they got prior raiding walmart with full intent to trespass bc they knew someone was on vacation or whatever. i know i told you i never really had a reason for cora's general sense of discontent until i thought of this and everything kind of clicked. very clear on sienna being all she could ever need but hadn't considered it in the romantic sense and i couldn't unthink of it that way ever since. in terms again of the greater friend group given how a few of the guys treat mollie it's like ok... perhaps not the biggest leap to think there's some misogyny there, surely some criticism from the skeevier guys that would feel like yknow the hot girls in the friend group are obliged to them somehow (and of course being romantically involved w some of them already as well). so i like this idea that they have this sensual secret thing going on and just kind of weighing the pros and cons of being like fuck it lets abandon this charade
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So Much More
Here's something that's been in my head for a few days and I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did ;) Let me know if you guys want a part 2!! ;)
Feel free to send me more asks and requests!!
Tags:
-smut -18+ -fluff -worship -language kink - i just love alexi so much
You sit on his lap, straddling him. Alexi was leaning back on the chair that you were both sitting on. Looney Tunes was playing on the T.V. in the background, but as much as Aliexi liked the silly cartoon, you seem to occupy him more. 
You had your hands on his shoulders and were grinding on him like it was the only thing you knew how to do. Alexi’s hands could not stop running up and down your body and you were covered in goosebumps from the action. You couldn’t help the breathy soft whimpers that escaped your lips caused from the intensity of the moment. The sensation being so close, literally on top of the man you found so attractive. To feel him so intimately and closely just fueled the heat in your core. It felt as if the two of you were somehow one, the waves of bliss crashing all around you. 
Alexi seemed to not be able to get enough of you. He held you as close as possible and couldn’t help but buck his hips into yours. Quiet groans slipped past his lips as you snaked your arms around his neck. Both of your bodies pressed together, the sensation of your chests rubbing made you quite giddy. Alexi tasted like the cherry slurpee he had been drinking and right now it was your favorite flavor that you couldn’t get enough of. 
Your hands wormed their way into his soft brown curls. He instantly melted into your touch. Alexi’s head fell back as the two of you broke apart your kiss to look at each other. His arms rested on your back and in that moment you just felt so secure and cared for.
The sight that you saw was one that took your breath away in an instant. His big eyes behind his glasses gazed up into yours. His lips were parted, red a puffy from previously kissing you. There was a bright blush across his face and highlighted along his cheeks. Alexi’s eyes were huge with admiration and lust for you. This just poured more gasoline onto the fire inside you. To know that he was feelings those emotions all for you just turned you on even more. 
The sight of the man before you, the way he was looking at you made your hips involuntarily grind into his. You could feel his erection even through the layers of clothing. As soon as your crotch set friction to his, he let out a pleading moan and leaned into you. Your foreheads bumped together and you both continued to pleasure each other. The mutters of russian pleasure that slipped from his lips really made you aroused. 
You ran your hands through his hair, much to much his contentment. Alexi pushed your lips together again and kissed you hungrily. His hands began moving along your body again and this time they found their way under your shirt. As soon as his hands made contact with your back your breath hitched and shivers were sent down your back. Both you and Alexi could not hold your moans and his noises of bliss were music to your ears.
Alexi’s hands explored your now semi-exposed body and you were nearly bouncing on his lap. You knew you needed more, and Alexi even more. So much more… 
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👀 resurrection/road trip prompt for any combination of the ipre?
Let's get (mostly) the whole crew in here!
From this prompt list!
“We just stopped an hour ago, can’t you hold on for a little longer?” Lup groaned from the backseat The van pulled to a slow and careful stop in the parking lot. Merle flung the door open before Davenport could fully park the vehicle.
“Old man bladder, get over it,” Merle said flippantly before sprinting towards the buzzing neon altar of the 7-11.
“You need to switch off driving for a while?” Magnus asked, gnawing on Redvine from the comically large package he picked up before they all disembarked.
“No, I’m still good to go. Why don’t you all stretch your legs and get some snacks? I think we’re about to hit about 200 miles with neither jack nor shit on any of the exits,” Davenport suggested as he unbuckled his own seatbelt.
“No, come on, I just wanna keep going. We gottta save time where we can,” Lup whined. Her complaints quieted when Davenport shot her a look in the rearview mirror. “Fine.” She jostled Taako’s legs that were planted firmly across her lap. “Ko, c’mon. Wake up, rest stop.”
Taako grumbled something about his beauty sleep and his back. He lifted his head off the window and blinked blearily. “Where‘re we at?” he asked sleepily.
“A 7/11 in the middle of nowhere.”
He wrinkled his nose and scoffed. “Wake me when we stop at a Love’s.”
“Be a pit stop primadonna all you want, I’m getting a slurpee.” Lup lifted Taako’s legs off her lap and carefully peeled herself out of the back, dexterously landing in Merle’s open seat.
“Bring me some pretzels?”
“Nah.” Lup made her way into swampy night air. Crunching gravel let her know Magnus, Lucretia, and Davenport were following behind.
The automatic doors slid open and chilled Lup to the bone in an instant. She made a beeline for the shining slurpee machine. She stood in front of it and watched the out-of-sync cylinders rotate for what felt like hours. Cherry, blue raspberry, and Coke. She stood on her tiptoes, unwedged the largest cup from its holder, and snapped a domed lid on top. Her eyes darted between the flavors. Blue raspberry was objectively the best but that also meant Taako would be bothering her for a sip every twenty minutes even though he claimed he was “far too good for that shit.” Same thing happened with Barry if she chose cherry but she didn’t mind when Barry bothered her. She stuck her cup under the cherry nozzle and began dispensing her high-fructose nectar. Not like Barry was there to pester her anyway.
Shit. She had been doing so good. She’d been doing fan fuckingtastic at putting aside the whole reason they were crammed in Dav’s old van to drive halfway across the goddamn country. At the very least, she’d been holding it together enough to not make everyone look at her like she was some popsicle stick and tissue paper creation of a toddler, destined to fall apart the moment you took your eyes off it. If she sat out a couple of car games or music arguments, big fucking deal. She could be sleeping for all anyone knows (and for anyone who didn’t remember she can’t sleep in the car). She just wanted to untie this knot of nerves and fear from her stomach.
“You know you could just get another cup, right?” Merle said, having appeared next to her like a ghost. She looked at him in confusion until her brain processed the ice cold and sticky residue coating her hand coming from her slurpee cup like pyroclastic flow. It took her another moment to actually stop dispensing the slurpee.
“Um. Will you watch this for me? I gotta piss.” Lup left her overflowing cup and made a beeline for the bathroom. She washed her hands with a feeble pump of soap and water that was lukewarm at best. The paper towel dispenser was empty and the air dryer looked like it was two seconds from falling off the wall. Lup dried her hands on her jeans and made sure she was alone in the bathroom. She slipped her worn tote bag from her shoulder and set it on the counter, rifling wildly through it. After a streak of panic swept through her, she found it.
The box was small, most likely an old necklace box. Not the sturdiest construction but underneath the lid was a craft store’s worth of tissue paper. And wrapped securely in the tissue paper was a small jar, corked up tight. Inside was what looked like a clump of fishing line. She shot another glance towards the door and carefully set the jar on the counter. “Babe?”
The clump inside the jar pulsed a gentle red.
Lup grinned, ignoring the ache in her throat that let her know tears were imminent. “Hey. Uh, I think we’re on track to get there by midday tomorrow. So hopefully tomorrow night we can all be in a couple of shitty motel rooms out by the Sword Coast. Um. M-maybe we can even all go swimming or something!”
The clump pulsed again, a little brighter this time.
Lup swallowed hard. “Sorry I gotta keep you locked up in the Fort Knox of tote bags. You know how it is, people get real weird about resurrectionists. Good looking out with your sketchy forums, by the way. Dunno what we would have done without that. Can’t wait for you to be back. Gonna hug you and kiss your stupid face a lot. And then I’m gonna be mad at you for a while for doing something so reckless. And then I’m gonna kiss you more.”
The clump looked like it was blushing, if that was even possible.
Lup blinked quickly and darted her eyes up to the flickering fluorescents in the bathroom. “Better get you back in there. We gotta go soon and I’m pretty sure Dav is officially switching to 5 Hour Energy. That’s never the best sign, you know?” She picked up the jar and held it close to her face for a moment.
The clump—Barry’s essence? His soul?—pulsed once, twice, then three times.
“I love you too.” She carefully wrapped the jar back up in tissue paper, placed it back in the box, and gingerly put the box in her tote bag.
She nearly ran smack into Lucretia on her way out of the bathroom.
“Feeling okay?” She asked.
Lucretia nodded. “Yeah, thanks for letting me grab shotgun. You’d think that we as a society would have solved this carsickness bullshit by now.”
“It’s obviously all a front for Big Ginger Ale,” Lup said solemnly.
“Obviously,” Lucretia agreed. “How about you? You’ve been really quiet in the car.”
“Just tired.”
Lucretia reached out and squeezed Lup’s arm. “Hey. I know this is scary. But it’s all going to be okay. It sounds like the guy you messaged is legit, right? You’re going to have him back. I know you will.”
Damn those imminent tears. Lup nodded and cleared her throat. “Thanks, Luce.”
--
“I spy with my little eye, something blue,” Magnus said, ripping open his family size bag of M&Ms. He dutifully deposited some in Davenport’s cupped hand that craned behind from the driver’s seat.
“Is it an M&M?” Lucretia asked from the front, her feet propped up on the dashboard despite Davenport’s grumblings about it being a safety hazard.
“Nope!”
“Is it the car in front of us that’s had its cruise control set at the speed limit on for the past eighty miles?” Davenport popped some M&Ms in his mouth and crunched loudly.
“Not that either.”
“Is it that jet fuel you keep drinking?” Merle guessed, spitting some sunflower seeds out the window of the van.
Magnus rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry that Baja Blast is not up to your discerning palate, old man.”
“Okay Mag, we give up, what is it?” Lup said, balling up her sweatshirt into a makeshift pillow in an attempt to keep her head from rattling against the window.
He smiled a little and pointed to the backseat. “It’s your bracelet, Lup!”
She looked down at the simple bracelet on her wrist made from dark blue embroidery floss. It was clumsily made with love on a road trip a lot like this one. It has lived on her wrist for months at this point. She did her best not to think about a matching red bracelet on another wrist. She figured she’d have to get started on making a new one. But all that could wait, would have to wait until she had Barry fully and completely back in her arms. “Wow. Good eyes, Magnus,” she said, voice a little hollow. “Um. Hey, Dav, how much longer do you think it’s gonna be?”
Davenport hummed a little in thought as he tapped the steering wheel. “If traffic stays like this, maybe eleven or so hours?”
Eleven hours. Lup could handle eleven hours. She could handle a million hours for Barry. She pulled her tote bag up into her lap and curled herself around it the best she could manage in such cramped quarters. Nothing close to the real thing but it provided some empty comfort, she supposed.
She hoped exhaustion would set in soon so a few hours could fly by in the darkness. She focused her mind on the dull noise of the oldies station the radio’s dial was firmly fixed upon. Smears of night-coated trees and the occasional light from teensy, far-off towns whizzed by the window.
Taako shifted next to her, nudging her with his legs in the process, and sending his bag of pretzels tumbling down to the floorboards. The backseat was barely large enough for two grown adults. She couldn’t wait for an even more cramped ride back. She just had to wait eleven more hours.
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capturethechaos · 2 years
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What happened to Jackal????
This is a paid advertisement for our Discord server.
Written, proofread, and edited by @eatmejoshkiszka, @gretavanhoney and myself
Warnings: NSFW 18+, Mommy milkers, anti-smut, Life contemplation, wormholes,
———
In the abyss...
It's cold. I am surrounded by darkness. My family has abandoned me. My name is Jackal. This is what I know. I am left with me and my nothingness.
I have pretty cohesive thoughts for a being that has been alive for maybe ten minutes, or however long really, I’ve been floating around for a while--
Suddenly I am sucked into a wormhole, it spins me round and round like a toilet bowl. What the universe is trying to tell me is I am shit or maybe I am the shit. I don't know if the toilet bowl is half empty or half full. Well I do know it's full of me that's for sure.
I understand my true purpose now. I must find the mommy milkers before my sister does. Wait a minute, wait a damn minute, if I am abandoned I don't have a sister anymore. Fuck. Maybe I am the sister. Chile anyways, back to my main point. The mommy milkers, I can see them while floating in the abyss or is it the milky way?
Reaching out to touch them they are cold like a 7 Eleven slurpee. They freeze me there in space, like hansolo or that fucking blue guy from guardians of the galaxy except I’m not dead. However I am parentless just like them.
As I grow into my adult form, the ice encapsulates me like a cocoon except for my lower region. It’s too hot there but the rest of me remains cold. At least I am aware where I still have perfect blood flow. Even outer space can't stop this kind of magic.
I have years to think about my revenge--I will kill Juckle, harnessing the power of the mommy milkers. That power was rightfully mine. With just one grab, I can restore the power that I have lost and take over the suckies. I put them in my mouth. What do they taste like? Gingerbread. A vision flashes in my head and I immediately know where the muffin man lives. I am traveling there in an instant. He has the only weapon that will slaughter Juckle. He has the incense filled pussy staff.
Arriving at the muffin man's house, I punch him in the throat. He's dead. And he doesn't live on drewry lane, he lives at the cemetery. I look at his staff saying, “what you gonna do?” while dancing. When I touch the staff a lifetime a knowledge is passed onto me--mommies, milkers, many other things of course. Good soup. It is so much knowledge, not even a bitch slap can make it make sense. It's just soup. Im ready to give Juckle some of this fucking soup. But not to eat, more like drown in it
Now, my next mission. How to I get out of this fucking wormhole?
To be continued...
———
GVF Anti-smut taglist, lemme know if you wanna be added.
Join us in the discord for more glorious bullshit like this:
https://discord.gg/4wyxhrpBcn
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issamhysa · 4 years
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Being Frank Castle’s surrogate daughter would include:
A/N: AU where Amy never left and Billy's a good guy because I do what I want! Everybody’s happy, dammit!
You and Amy get along very well
Frank half expected the two of you to constantly be at each other's throats, but no
Instant best friends
Amy asks him to teach both of you how to fight, and he straight up teaches you both Krav Maga
You pick it up a lot faster than Amy does, so you play-fight a lot when Frank's not home
Call it practice
At one point, the two of you manage to spring up on him and take him down when he comes home
At least, that's what you and Amy think happened
In reality, Frank was way too tired to deal with the two of you, so he just let it happen
You got a lecture later
Frank's a little rough sometimes
But you both understand that all he wants is for the two of you to be safe
He'd never forgive himself if anything happened to you two
Moving right on, Frank kinda sucks at cooking
Okay, really sucks at it
Though he occasionally enjoys barbecuing outside in the summer
Anyway, it falls on you and Amy to cook most of the time
Frank buys the ingredients, you and Amy cook
Your go-to meals?
Dinosaur nuggets and smiley french fries
The first time you made them, Frank had just gotten home from getting his ass handed to him
Er, sorry, I meant kicking ass
No, I didn't
So you and Amy tossed everything in the deep-fryer and sat on the couch
"What the hell is this?"
"Dinosaur chicken nuggets? What, did you get hit in the head?"
Frank throws a pillow at your head but settles down with his food and his beer bottle to watch Frozen 2 with the two of you
Movie nights are very common between the three of you
Well, five when Curtis and Billy join the party
Frank hosts horror nights, you and Amy host animated, Billy hosts gore nights and Curtis…
Curtis just plays whatever he feels like watching on that day
Whether it be The Incredibles or the entirety of the Saw saga
Speaking of Curtis, he takes you and Amy out all the time
Breakfast at the diner on Tuesdays, the movies on Fridays
Sometimes he'll just stop by the apartment and drag the two of you out of bed to go to those free concerts at the park
Hell, he'll drag Frank out too
Last time it was some band playing country music
You all ended up inhaling as many hot dogs as you possibly could
Frank got you and Amy slushies, too
It was the best day
Now, Billy
He seriously spoils you and Amy
Takes you to the amusement park whenever you two want to go
Even if it means he has to miss a meeting
Besides, meetings are sooo boring
Billy actually takes you and Amy wherever you want to go
Most of the time he does it just to spite Frank
Because with FRANK
“Hey, Frank! Can we go-” “No.”
But with BILLY
“Hey, Uncle Billy! Can we go-” “What did your dad say?” “...He said no.” “Alright. Where are we going?”
He can't say no
Well, he can
He just doesn't want to
No, but seriously, Billy is the best uncle
He gives pretty good advice whenever he can
And scares off the boys at your door
He can be real scary when he wants to be
Never to you and Amy unless y’all screw up
But most of the time with Billy, he’ll just squeeze you and smother you in kisses
He’s so embarrassing
God bless
Dinah and Karen are like your cool aunts
Well, Karen's mostly the cool aunt
Dinah… She tries, but she's protective by nature so
It's hard
They take you shopping a lot
And their fitting-room feedback? Fantastic
They help you find Frank a gift for Father's Day
You and Amy decide on a mug with a dill-shaped handle that says you're kinda a big dill"
Because it's fucking hilarious
Frank pretends to hate it at first but refuses to use another mug after that
He’ll even take it with him on his stake-outs
It’s kinda funny
Frank doesn't want you around when he's working
Even though he knows you're both adults and can take care of your own damn selves
He doesn't like dragging you into his messes
Plus, you and Amy already have a talent for getting in trouble
You’ve both gotten like, super good at sneaking out
Most of the time you sneak out because you want to go to 7-Eleven to get slurpees and an insane amount of candy
When you come back, Frank’s waiting at the door with his arms crossed
Because it’s 3 fucking am and the two of you weren’t home
HOWEVER, you can easily shut him up if you bring him a slurpee
Well, he’ll still be grumpy but significantly less so
All in all, your little family is far from perfect, yeah
But you wouldn’t change it for the world
Neither would Amy or Frank
Well, at least not until Frank finds out about the goldfish in the bathtub
But you’ll worry about that later!
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chiveburger · 3 years
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I honestly think it’s crazy the difference of 7-11′s in asia verses the ones in north america like... how can they be the same franchise and yet on two different extremes. It might just be the general accessibility and frequency of stores alike, because I know I can’t always just walk to a 7-11′s in canada unless I’m in a dense area but the selection is always so different??? we have hot foods here too like fries and hotdogs, random snacks, slurpees and coffee but that’s NOTHING compared to what they have in asia????? just taking hong kong (and korea) as an example, they have full microwavable meals. not even just ramen but in hong kong we have packed dimsum. onigiri, bento lunchboxes, soups, pastries and obviously they’re all instant but the point is that they have it... the most I get from north american corner stores is a starbucks bottled mocha and a bag of hickory sticks. there’s so much going on in asian 7-11′s and most of them are open 24/7 too. I’ve slept outside one of them while waiting for my plane before, and nobody even gives a shit... 
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Are you aware of the properties your pizza grease has? When combined with Instant Coffee, Vodka, Mountain Dew Slurpees, and the juice from 5 wax bottles it allows me to speak to Alvin from the Chipmunks in cryptic visions.
Yes.
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When Nothing Moves
I can’t sleep. The sun is too bright.
I started this job cleaning out fruit slicers all night a month ago and I haven’t had a good nights sleep since. Every night filled with tossing and turning, trying to find a way to comfortably shield my eyes from the suns blinding light. Working a graveyard hours job meant I was sleeping all day and working all night. The cruddy curtains in my room were doing fuck-all for blocking out sunlight. Some of the guys at my job that were friendly enough told me to buy some blackout curtains and it will make my room completely dark, even with the sun beating down and hopefully it will help me get some good rest. after my work week ended, in my car I ordered that highest-reviewed blackout curtains I could find online and they were due to arrive at my apartment the next morning, in seven hours.
I woke the next day to a knock on my door and a shine directly into my eyes. I could have rearranged my entire room several times and still wouldn’t be able find a way to not get work on my tan while I sleep. I hurried to the door to get the package and gave a wave to the delivery driver before they made it down the stairs out of view.
Putting up the curtains was smooth, even though they were quite heavy material. My biggest fear was that they would pull the curtain rod from the wall, but that worry didn’t last long as the void that my bedroom had become was a sight for sore and tired eyes. I poured myself a glass of water in the kitchen before sitting down on my bed. Before I could take a sip, the comfort of my sheets began to sing symphonies to my tired muscles and lull me back to sleep.
I slept in, something that was unheard of even before I started my backwards sleep schedule. The clock on the bedside table read 9:23pm in red digital font, illuminating my wallet and phone that I had forgotten to plug in after last nights shift and was now most definitely dead. Still in a sleep state, I reached down to grab the charger and plug it into my phone when I heard a noise come from the other side of the bed. A tapping in a rhythmic matter, which would explain why i hadn’t noticed it sooner, but now it had gotten louder, almost annoyed at me paying it no mind and I froze leaning halfway off the bed. The jolt of fear that swarmed my body woke me up better than any instant java could ever wish. It knows that I know and its playing with me now. The tapping is getting faster and multiplies and I now that it is the sound of fingernails tapping on my wall.
(Did somebody break in am I really going to get murdered in my bed after the first night of decent sleep in my life?)
The tapping stopped suddenly, followed by a bang on the wall knocking out one of the nails holding up the curtains. My fists clenched among other things. I roll off the bed into a stance and with a sorry excuse of a warcry ready to fight whatever it was in my room to the death if need be. Nothing was there; I was sure of that. The curtains had fallen letting in the bright glow from the 7-11 across the street, revealing the only thing out of the ordinary in my room was that I needed to clean.
“Must’ve been a dream.” I said out loud, an attempt to calm myself after what I just experienced or just only imagined.
I flicked the flicked the lights on and fixed the curtains. Hammering in the nails all a little more for good measure before walking out of my room to start my day.
My apartment is in no meaning of the word interesting. I’ll state that I had, two chairs, a couch, some scattered goodwill tables of varying size, and a flatscreen TV on a small Swedish table decorated with a collection of games and movies. It wasn’t much, but I enjoyed what I had.
I prepared myself a bowl of cereal and sat on the couch to watch a show when I noticed movement down the hallway into my room. It wasn’t a natural movement in any sense and even now it is hard to explain. It was as if the world had lost focus of that specific spot in my bedroom doorway and it had grown hazy and distorted. It had the height of a man in a sheet ghost’s clothing and it was raising what I presumed to be its arms when an ad on the TV startled me back to reality. I started up a show and began eating my food quickly, doing my best to forget what might be lurking down the hall and failing as thoughts raced through my head.
(I didn’t check under the bed FUCK no one can fit under there anyways FUCK THE CLOSET FUCK it’s nothing probably just a reflection YOU HAVE NO MIRRORS IN THERE DUMBASS AND YOU CLOSED THE CURTAINS IT’S A GHOST YOU ARE BEING HAUNTED CONGRATULATIONS SHIRLEY FUCKING JACKSON WOULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT YOU CALLED THE IDIOT’S HAUNTING IF SHE WAS STILL ALIVE)
Frustrated with myself I hopped up and marched down the hall to my room huffing and puffing with each authoritative stomp, making sure that whoever await beyond the door knew I meant the most serious of business, as well as sloshing my breakfast everywhere. As I pushed the door open fully I was rushed by what I can only describe as a shadow, knocking me on my back. spilling cereal and milk all over me and as I looked up I could see the shadow turn left at the end of the hallway into the TV room and out of my sight.
I was terrified. I tried to stand myself up while keeping my sights on where I last saw it. As I got to my knees and began to prop up, the shadow peaked around the corner with a featureless, translucent face starring at me with what I assumed was malicious intent. Frozen in fear, I could only muster up the breath to ask a single question.
“Who?”
To which, to my absolute horror it responded in a echoed whisper.
“Boo.”
And vanished.
With my pants shit and my legs like jello, it took me a moment to breath, let alone move. When Blood returned to my veins I hastily made my way to the bathroom to clean myself of spilled Golden Grahams and milk and to face the realization that what I had just witnessed was anything but normal. I spent a moment arguing with my thoughts, fighting the impulse to sleep in my car. My reflection in the bathroom mirror helped to ground me in reality, to remind me that I am fine and no harm was done. I convinced myself of a resident Casper The Friendly, albeit roughhousing ghost. I soon after left the bathroom.
I poured myself another, bigger bowl of cereal and sat down to watch anything the TV had to offer. I spent the rest of the night on the couch, eating and finding any excuse to not look down the hallway.
At around 2:51am I had had enough of wracking my brain, thinking that at any moment the shadow would reappear and attack me again, this time finishing the job. I bolted down the hallway to my bedroom, grabbed my keys and wallet and headed out my apartment to go across the street to the 7-11 for a early morning slurpee. The cashier knew me and joked about my usual purchase of sugary drinks and snacks. I gave no response, paid my $6.23 and headed out the door.
As I was crossing the street back to my apartment, I looked up to my second floor bedroom window, half hoping to see nothing, other half expecting bloody Mary herself. After what I had been through that night, I’m not sure why I even went back into that apartment. The curtain rod had been torn out of the wall again and standing in my room were two of the shadow figures latched to the windowsill, with the distinct outline of hands pushed against the glass. They watched me as I continued crossing the street; my heart was almost bursting out of my chest. I was running on fear induced auto-pilot and my destination was my apartment door. When I reached my door I finally paused and reflected on what had happened tonight.
(If they wanted me dead, They could have done it already. They were playing games with me, but why?)
I stood in front of my door for a minute before realizing I had never locked it and walked right in ready to confront whatever was inside. I flicked the kitchen light on, set my drink and bag down, and looked down the dark hallway. Spilling out of my room were dozens of shadows piling over each other, all different shapes and heights of darkness, fading in and out as if there was a draft blowing through them. I began nervously pacing in my small kitchen, checking on the hallways inhabitants every few rounds. They never moved. After a while a voice moaned from my bedroom.
“Leave”
“No.” I spat out responded in annoyance.
“Leave or...”
“Or fucking what?” I shouted with such ferocity that my neighbors definitely heard me.
“Die.”
All the blood drained from my face and immediately the shadows in the hall began screaming and moaning, shifting from side to side,all while inching towards me. My legs turned gave out from under me. trying to catch myself from falling I had turned the kitchen light off which seemed to invite the shadows to come closer. As they got closer, their faces appeared mangled and distorted consisting of holes where a human features should be. As their shadows began to overtake my motionless body, I shut my eyes so tight that it hurt. Amidst the moaning I heard one last phrase.
“Sleep again now. We’ll do the rest.”
The next thing I know, i’m laying on the doormat outside of my apartment. I didn’t care how I got there. I quickly got on my feet and down the stairs to my car. I closed my eyes as I backed out of the parking lot. I didn’t want to ever look at that window ever again.
I stayed at my friend Aiden’s place for a week. He lived alone, so he liked the company and he had the room for it, so he didn’t mind. I had told him a lie of how the landlord was spying on me when I showered and once tried to seduce me while fixing the sink. I think he believed it.
I only wanted to go back to the apartment once to get my stuff. After a week of staying with Aiden, the two of us drove to the apartment building and found that where my bedroom window used to be was blown out, stained black with burn marks. Aiden didn’t know what to say and I was beyond confused. We parked the car and I went to the landlord’s door alone and asked what had happened. He told me in detail that four days again my room had exploded from a gas leak and that I was lucky I went on vacation or else i’d be a deadman. There was nothing to be packed up that wasn’t ash. I apologized to him about his building, and said goodbye. I headed back to my friends car who was waiting with a drink for me from across the street. I got into the car without a word.
“What the fuck happened? Did he try to kill you? Tried to burn you alive cuz you weren’t turned on by his wrinkles?” Aiden said as he started the car.
“No, he doesn’t know what happened. Gas leak they think, he told me.” I said. “Let me take one last look.”
“Oh, sure. Of course.” He said, shutting the engine off. I rested my arms on the top of his car looking up to my once bedroom window now black from the fires, but somehow still intact. I thought I saw something and ran across the street to see it closer. There were two marks on the burnt windowsill; marks I could swear were burned in hands.
“You ok, Rick?” Aiden shouted from the driver’s seat.
“Yea, no, I’m good. Just getting a closer look.” I said as I ran back to the car. “Just saying goodbye is all.”
“Well alrighty, you want to grab some burgers?”
I nodded and smiled.
I never asked him if he saw the handprints.
We pulled out of the parking lot, passing my old apartment building one last time. I instinctively waved to the window that used to be my bedroom. Nothing waved back.
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charming-oddities · 3 years
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A Thank You Letter To This Life
Dear Life,
Thank you for stars and birthday candles and their inability to make wishes come true. Thank you for disease and miracles and hope for finding a cure. Thank you for scars and the stories that come with them.
Thank you for fireflies and their ability to light the way, highlighting summers of an all-American childhood and teaching us to chase after what we want most. Thank you for the “friends” who stab us in the back, teaching us that the only one we can ever really trust is ourselves.
Thank you for the failures that make us appreciate our accomplishments. Thank you for bubbles and the way that they remind us of the fragility of the universe — how everything can be gone in an instant.
Thank you for the supporters as much as the nonbelievers who gave us something to prove. Thank you for the followers who gave us the chance to lead. Thank you for society’s twisted ways giving us expectations to shatter.
Thank you for white butterflies — their wings absent of color, reminding us to appreciate the pureness in simplicity. Thank you for the crazy teachers and their accidentally inspirational ways. Thank you for the humbleness that comes with the absence of money. Thank you for the people who give us reasons to smile on bad days.
Thank you for the contradictions that enhance the truth. Thank you for ripped seams reminding us that there are some things that just cannot be contained. Thank you for false hope and staircases that lead to nowhere reminding us that sometimes, the climb is the only thing that matters.
Thank you for Hello Kitty Band-aids and their ability to heal even the deepest wounds. Thank you for blue slurpees and the way that they stain our lips and teeth, revealing our weakness in the face of temptation.
Thank you for innocence and the truth that shatters it. Thank you for sunsets, reminding us that sometimes endings are the most beautiful part.
Thank you for everything, and all of the lessons that come along the way. _____________________________________________
(C) Gina Clingan 2017 Originally published on Thought Catalog
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duke-duke-the-cuc · 3 years
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The Rock
It’s a sunny day, the first sunny day after weeks of rain. Leila and Claire are walking to 7-11 to get slurpees. It is such an ordinary day, that is until Leila trips and falls flat on her face. They look to see what it was that she tripped over, finding that it was a rock. But not just any other rock, it appeared to be a magical glowing rock. 
“Whoa, what is that?” Claire exclaims, immediately crouching down to touch it. As soon as her finger touches the surface of the stone, her whole body starts glowing like the rock. 
“Wait, I wanna glow too!” Leila drags herself over to touch the stone as well. They both glow together for 10 seconds. Annette from across the street watches them disappear into thin air. 
Leila and Claire find themselves suddenly in a forest, right in front of Harry Styles and Tony Stark making out against a tree. 
“What the fuck is happening here…?” Leila says slowly. 
Harry Styles and Tony Stark jump away from each other and turn to face the two teenagers who interrupted them. 
“Oh, we’ve been waiting for you,” Tony Stark says. 
“Uh, for what?” Leila asks. 
“You two have been chosen. You will start to notice your magic powers soon,” Tony answers. 
Claire blinks, only one thing on her mind as she looks at Tony and Harry. “Wait. You two were just…” 
Harry looks her dead in the eye. “Wot about it, bruv?” 
“Oh, uh, nothing, just…wasn’t expecting that,” Claire says quickly. “So, um...what’s this about magic powers?” 
“We have some tests to help you discover your powers,” Harry says. “Follow us.” 
“Aight, bet,” Leila says. 
They follow Tony and Harry to a giant tree with a door in it. The door opens to a humongous mansion that somehow fits inside the tree. They continue through the mansion to a back room filled with odd contraptions. 
“Uh, I don’t think kinky is magical,” Leila jokes. 
Harry laughs, but Tony rolls his eyes. 
“Anyways...We’re going to hook you up to some machines to test how you react to things,” Tony explains.
“Is this gonna hurt?” Claire asks warily. 
“No, it won’t hurt,” Harry assures her. 
“But it might kill you,” Tony adds. 
Leila shrugs, “Well, as long as it doesn’t hurt…” 
“Yeah, alright,” Claire agrees. 
Leila and Claire let themselves be hooked up to the machines, while Tony and Harry press a bunch of strange buttons. They immediately black out. 
When they wake, they find Duke Duke and Cleo Sertori watching over them. 
“I must be dreaming…” Claire mutters when she sees the beautiful mermaid looking at her and promptly passes out again. 
Leila looks up at the giant cucumber, “Is it really you?” 
Duke Duke takes off his hat and bows, “That’s me!” 
“Do you feel this instant connection?” Leila asks dreamily. 
Duke Duke looks into her eyes, “Yes, of course.” 
Cleo finally shakes Claire awake, and the first thing she sees is not Cleo’s lovely face, but her friend making out with a cucumber. Leila’s lips are occupied, but Claire can somehow hear her voice: I can’t believe I finally found the love of my life.  
“What the fuck…? Why is a cucumber the love of your life?” Claire says, staring in disbelief. 
Leila pulls away and looks at Claire strangely, “How did you know that?” 
“Um, I heard it? I think I might’ve read your mind?” Claire says, clearly confused about this whole situation. 
“Oh, cool, you found your power!” Leila says excitedly. 
“And you found a cucumber…” Claire says. 
Then she gets distracted by distant music: Pizza Angel, please come to me. Tomato sauce and cheese so gooey. Pizza Angel, you’re all I need… 
“Where is that music coming from?” Claire asks. 
“Oh, sorry, I sing songs in my head,” Duke Duke says. 
“Oh, okay,” Claire says, because at this point nothing is really surprising. 
She turns back to Cleo, and the world fades away and it’s just the two of them and Cleo’s thoughts that are filled with nothing but thoughts of Claire. The two of them finally kiss. 
However, they are soon interrupted by a phone ringing. Everyone checks their pockets, but no one’s cellphone is going off. 
“I think it’s coming from over here,” Duke Duke says, turning towards a mysterious phone booth in the corner. 
Leila goes over to answer the phone. It’s Tony Stark. 
“Hey, guys, we just got news, we’re going to be on the Jimmy Fallon show and you all need to be there because something feels off about it,” he says. 
“Okay, we’re on our way.” Leila hangs up and tells the rest of the group what he’d said. 
“Okay everybody, touch the top of my head and I’ll teleport us all to New York,” Duke Duke says. 
They all appear backstage and only have a few seconds to collect themselves before they hear Jimmy Fallon calling them all out to the stage. 
The crowd goes wild to welcome the magical people Tony was just telling the world about. They smile and wave before sitting down on the couch. 
“So tell us about your powers,” Jimmy says, directing the question towards Leila and Claire, “How did you find them?” 
“Well, it all started when I tripped over a glowing pebble,” Leila starts. 
“And then I touched it and started to glow too,” Claire continues. 
“Then I wanted to glow, so I touched it also,” Leila says. 
“And then we got teleported to a forest where we met Tony and Harry,” Claire adds.
Leila is about to mention the testing Tony and Harry put them through, but the whole show is interrupted by the sudden appearance of John Mulaney. 
“Oh, John, you’re not supposed to be here ‘til next week,” Jimmy Fallon says, surprised. 
John Mulaney just laughs. I’m only here to kidnap Harry and Tony and take over the world. 
Claire hears his malevolent plan in his thoughts and stands up, “Wait! He’s not the real John Mulaney, this one is evil!”
As if on cue, all the lights go off, and Leila and Claire can hear sounds of violence and struggle. Confused and unsure, they do nothing. When the lights come back on, John is gone and he’s taken Tony and Harry. Jimmy and everyone in the audience are asleep. 
“Oh no, where did they go?” Claire says, looking around. 
Cleo pulls out her phone, “We can find out. Tony has a tracker in him specifically for situations like this.” 
Leila looks at the phone, “It says they’re in Alaska.” 
Duke Duke then teleports them all to Alaska. It’s freezing. The first thing they all do is buy winter coats. Only then can they start searching for their missing friends. They follow the tracker to an abandoned boat. 
Evil John Mulaney appears the second they step foot on the boat. “How did you find me? I didn’t leave a trace.” 
“Trackers,” Cleo says, “That’s what you get for kidnapping a techie billionaire.” 
Leila walks up to him and shoves him. “Bitch.” 
“Ow! What the-?” John Mulaney rips open his shirt to find the source of the pain, revealing a deep wound where Leila’s hands had touched him. 
“Oh, nice power,” Claire comments. But Leila backs away, suddenly depressed. 
John Mulaney roars in rage, grabbing a sword hanging on the wall and swinging at Leila. Leila ducks just in time, but the sword slices Duke Duke in half instead.
“You should turn that sword on yourself,” Claire mutters angrily. To her surprise, and to John’s too, John starts to turn the sword around and stabs himself through the stomach. With a gasp, he falls to the floor, dead. 
Then something starts to glow in Claire’s pocket. It’s the rock from the very beginning. Confused, she takes the rock out of her pocket, but it burns her hand and she drops it. As soon as the stone hits the floor it starts to grow and change. Soon a fully formed Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is standing in front of them. 
“Congratulations, you’ve passed my test,” he says. 
Leila looks up from where she’s been crying in the corner, “But all I can do is hurt people?” 
The Rock shakes his head, “No, you can heal, too. Go to your lover.” 
Leila drags herself over to her fallen cucumber boyfriend and cries over his body. Slowly Duke Duke begins to heal and come back to life. Leila’s tears become tears of happiness now. 
John Mulaney begins to stir, and everyone looks over, suddenly on edge again and prepared to fight. Cleo, who has now returned from freeing Tony and Harry, immediately readies herself to use the water around the boat to attack. 
“No, no,” The Rock says before they can all jump into action again, “the curse has been broken. John Mulaney is himself again.” 
TO BE CONTINUED...
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achilleid · 3 years
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Orpheus’ Epilogue— prologue?!
The me who isn’t me sits on my chest, her straw rattling around at the end of a red slurpee. Her lips are stained red, not a bright cherry, but a darker red. A blackened red.
A machine sits in the corner, churning blood and ice over and over in an endless hum.
A boy with shadows for hands stands in the corner, another with burning suns where he should have eyes is in the other. He does not speak, but flickers. There and then gone in an instant.
I hear screams. I hear someone shouting at the screams to shut up.
My throat is so dry I can almost feel the cool, refreshing dampness of the slurpee in my own mouth. The me who isn’t me continues drinking, each sip shooting a pulse of red through the clear tube. I swallow thickly. There is something in my throat.
I gag, choke. But nothing dislodges the unnatural full feeling. I can’t raise my arms. I can’t pull the straw out of my throat. The me who isn’t me smacks her lips, flicking drops of scarlet unto the white sheets tucked around me.
You ready yet?
She thinks for me, her mouth never once moving.
I’m so thirsty.
She smiles.
Yeah. You’re ready.
The slurpee is gone, her hands are empty, clasped together. She draws them apart, a tiny star suspended between her palms. The light begins to expand, growing and growing until it lifts my eyelids and shines directly into my pupil. I see her still in the dark of my closed eye. I see the face of someone wearing a surgical mask in the open one.
Ghostly dots of light dance over my vision. The ceiling is white. The voice is still there, still in my head and speaking with my words. It laughs at my confusion, my fumblings to make sense of what I am seeing and not seeing.
She sips from her straw again and as she swallows I feel like something in turn is pulled from my own throat, leaving me gaping and empty, gasping in air as cold as ice.
Welcome home.
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pcttrailsidereader · 4 years
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Four Months Alone of the PCT
I posted this on this website about six years ago and just recently re-read this interview from a blog called ‘The Hairpin’.  The interview, with Myla Fay, a 25-year old thru hiker, is a good read and I thought worth re-posting.  My favorite story was her account of the hiker who found chapstick on the ground and used it to counter crotch chafing. A few minutes later a woman walked by and asked if anyone had seen her pina colada chapstick. From that point forward his trail name was “Penis Colada.”
Myla attended Carleton College in Northfield, Minnesota as did my daughter … which came to light when I forwarded this interview to my daughter as part of my desire to have her hike a section of the PCT several summers ago (which she did join me for a lengthy stretch).
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By Jia Tolentino
How did you get into long-distance hiking? I grew up in Maine and spent a lot of time outside, and when I was a kid, we went up to Blue Hill every summer to hike and swim, camping in Baxter State Park and backpacking in the White Mountains. And in high school I did some incredible trips with the Chewonki Foundation: one was a 400-mile white-water canoe trip that ended in the tiny Inuit village of Kangiqsualujjuaq in northern Quebec. I always liked the outdoors, and backpacking felt like a good fit. I was also always interested in long-distance hiking as a more structured way of traveling. I spent a summer alone in India once and felt overwhelmed by all the decisions and planning involved in traveling. With hiking, your trip is organized around managing food and water and covering distance, and there’s less of an expectation for fun and relaxation. I like the part of backpacking that’s monotonous and challenging. How long had you been thinking about hiking the PCT before doing it? I heard about the PCT my senior year in college, but during and after college I was focusing on school and work: I worked as a designer in Minneapolis and New York, which I liked. Then I wanted to work on my own projects, so I moved back to Maine and set up a printmaking studio in the basement of a rural Zen Center. But it’s difficult to make any money from printmaking and it’s also difficult to live and work in isolation. I felt unsure about what I wanted to do, so I made a list of things I never regret doing. I realized that I never regret spending time outside, traveling, and challenging myself, so I decided to hike. I don’t think any 90-year-old would look back on life and regret hiking the PCT. Did you know you wanted to go alone? I might have considered it if I had known someone willing to drop everything and go hiking for four months. But I liked the idea of hiking alone anyway. Being alone is wonderful because you never have to compromise. If I felt like swimming all day, that’s what I did.
How long did it take to get ready? I only had about three months to prepare. Most people spend around six to 12 months getting in shape, dehydrating food, and planning. For me, I bought gear and read “Yogi’s Guide,“ which has advice for thru hiking—tips for hitchhiking, choosing campsites, resupplying, etc. It also outlines motel and grocery options for each town. I bought my food in towns and mailed food ahead when the next town was too small to resupply.
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Do you have to be in good shape before you start a hike like this? Or could you just tough it out and get better as you go? You don’t have to be in good shape to start a hike, but it helps. It also helps to be young. No matter what shape you are in, hiking 10 to 12 hours a day is going to be hard. I thought that after hiking for a week or two I would just be “in shape,” but I was surprised that my fitness continued to improve.
I also never stopped having some degree of pain.
What was the gear you started with and the gear you ended with? Anything you packed that you realized was useless? I started hiking in desert heat and ended my trip snowshoeing through six feet of snow, but surprisingly I used most of my gear in all situations. After a month I bought a solar charger on trail to charge my iPhone, which was a real luxury. I also bought a dress from Goodwill along the way. It was comfortable to wear hiking and convenient for peeing outside modestly. I added various warm layers as I went north—a rain skirt (which is lighter, more breathable, and easier to put on than rain pants), an emergency blanket, snowshoes, long underwear, and bread bags to wear on my feet for warmth. I eventually ditched my mace, bug spray, and a mouse-proof food bag because I felt they were unnecessary, but not everyone would agree. Now that I have a better idea of what I need, I revamped my gear for my upcoming trip on the CDT. I have a post on my blog about the new gear, and also have my gear list on my website, if anyone wants to read.
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What about trail food? How’d you deal with it? Did you filter your water the whole time? What are the worst and best things you’ve tried on the trail? Food was hard to plan for because my preferences and hunger changed constantly. Sometimes I had five extra pounds of food when I arrived in town and other times I ran out. One of the benefits of buying food as you go (rather than mailing it) is that you can easily make adjustments. I hiked with a girl who mailed all her food and by the end, she literally gagged every time she ate a Clif bar or oatmeal. I think having a variety of food on trail is important. I cooked ramen with PBR once when I arrived at a road crossing where someone had left a few beers for hikers. I was out of water, so I used the beer, and it was surprisingly delicious. At the end of trail, I ate snickers dipped in cream cheese and I thought it tasted like chocolate cheesecake! One of the worst things I tried was cold instant coffee mixed with oats. I was trying to pack up quickly in the morning and didn’t want to heat water. Needless to say, it was disgusting. I also once ate a spoonful of dry protein powder at night because I was starving and low on food. It felt similar to the cinnamon challenge. How much more do you end up eating than normal? What are the cravings you develop after long hikes? I ate a TON of food. Granola bars, mini pies, peanut butter, Nutella, tortillas, ramen, Cheezits, candy, muffins (squished), pop tarts, nuts, and anything else that caught my eye in the grocery store. All hikers fantasize about food, mostly about fresh fruits, vegetables, pizza, and ice cream. I daydreamed about Slurpees a lot. There is no food guilt on trail. All notions of what, when, and how much is appropriate to eat disappear. Instead of cutting calories and dieting, hikers worry about not eating enough. I ate 3,000 to 6,000 calories a day, and it was incredibly refreshing. The downside of eating so much was the stomach aches. Sometimes I would eat a whole sleeve of Oreos, which tasted delicious, then I would feel awful for a while. It’s a lot to ask of your body, to process all that food.
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Did you see a lot of other solo hikers? Did traveling alone made you more open to meeting random people? Travelling alone does make it easy to meet people. Most hikers start alone, and many hike in groups for various lengths of time. When I started, I wanted to hike alone to challenge myself and rely on my own decisions. I became more open to meeting people over time, and by the end of trail I found a balance between independence and community. Who were the coolest people you met along the way? Everyone I met had an interesting back story—one couple worked in Antarctica, one girl sold her house to live out of a backpack, there were Marines who hiked to deal with PTSD, and people who left their high-paying jobs because they didn’t want to devote their lives to work. One of my favorite characters on trail was a retired guy from New Jersey. He lived years without health insurance or hot water, and took ice-cold hose showers every day at home, even in the winter. He told only one person he was hiking the PCT and always camped alone far off trail. He didn’t own a phone, but carried a small radio to listen to baseball games. Every time he went into town to buy food, he bought a glass, because he only drank beer out of a glass. He was also a scavenger. Once in town I gave him part of a cookie and he just packed it away for later. Another time he told me that he carried a cube of bouillon for an emergency meal. I told him it didn’t have any calories, and he said, “But it sure does fill you up!” I should mention that there are more men than women on trail, and most people I met were white and middle class, so unfortunately trail culture is not too diverse. How many times were you ever truly scared, and why? Most of the time trail felt very safe, but I had a couple moments of being spooked. I almost stepped on a rattlesnake. I once got lost looking for a spring at night without my pack. I got dangerously cold during a snowstorm. These situations were all preventable had I been paying better attention. Some hikers do end up in truly scary situations. One girl had a mountain lion stalk her at night, and another guy ended up lost on a snowy cliff where he couldn’t go forward or backward. Oh my god. A lot of people on trail carry a SPOT device with an emergency button that activates a search and rescue response team. They are expensive and I personally felt safe without one, but a few people did use them on trail.
What about weather conditions? You had to hike at night sometimes because of the heat, right? The PCT covers a diverse range of terrains and temperatures. In the desert, it reaches 110 degrees, and water sources are sometimes 30 miles apart. I carried 1.5 gallons of water at a time. Hiking at night is much cooler and requires less water, so many people hike early and late (resting midday). Night hiking is beautiful but spooky. Some huge bugs and rodents that come out at night. And then there was the extreme cold: I’m reading a blog post where you did sit-ups in the middle of the night to stay warm. What’s your least favorite and most favorite weather to hike in? I still prefer hiking in desert heat over the cold Northwestern weather. In Oregon and Washington, I dealt with rain, hail and snow, which is dangerous without adequate food and gear. Most people carry down jackets and sleeping bags, but down is useless when wet. When it is cold, taking breaks is not an option. I knew one couple who hiked over 24 hours without stopping because all their gear was wet and it was snowing. They would have become hypothermic if they stopped. Can you tell me some hiker code? What’s the jargon like? There are lots of phrases specific to thru hiking. Some are practical (“slackpacking” is hiking a section without a full pack, “hiker hunger” describes the extreme hunger after hiking, “vortex” is when you spend longer than expected in town). A lot of them are meant to be funny (“Vitamin I” for ibuprofen). “Cowboy camping,” sleeping under the stars, is one of my favorite terms. It’s basically a fancy way of saying “I am too lazy to pitch my tent and I doubt it is going to rain tonight.” My friend “Scrub” has a more extensive list of hiking terms on his blog.
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That’s his trail name: does everyone have one? Everyone gets a trail name, usually given by another hiker. Part of the idea is that you can leave your other life behind and be someone new on trail. And there’s other stuff like this: trail angels, trail magic, what does that mean? A “trail angel” is anyone who helps you by offering “trail magic.” It could be a day hiker who gives you an apple or someone who drives you to town. There are established trail angels who help hikers each year by leaving food or sodas on trail or even opening their homes to hikers. There are also some trail magic events, where angels make burgers or pancakes on trail for a day or two. It is hard to overstate how incredible it is to come upon fresh hot food or cold sodas after being out in the woods for a few days. The terms seem right. How was your emotional state going into the hike, and during it? What was the default state of each day? I was much happier on trail than I was prior to trail. Some of that may have had to do with the endorphins released from exercise. I also gained a lot of confidence in my body and my ability to troubleshoot difficult situations. By the end of the trail, I felt I could do anything. I certainly had moments of frustration, crankiness, and misery, but I always preferred trail to home.
Wow. What did you do to pass the time? It wasn’t too different from regular life. Sometimes I listened to music or books, sometimes I worried about logistics, sometimes I wondered what to do with my life. I thought about family and friends and remembered things I had forgotten. Sometimes I played games with other hikers, sometimes I counted my steps, sometimes I brushed my teeth for an hour. What are some good stories you heard on the trail from other people? There was a huge snowstorm in Washington that coincided with the government shutdown, and some hikers decided to road walk the last 60 miles to Canada to avoid deep snow. Rangers stopped them because it was illegal to be in the park during the shutdown. So after hiking 2600 miles, they quit because of a triviality. I also heard a story about a girl who saw a mountain lion sitting next to the trail. She roared at it, like you are supposed to (you never want to let a mountain lion know you are scared), then kept walking past it only to realize that there was a switchback in the trail and she had to pass it again. And then, there was a funny story about a hiker I never met who found chapstick on the ground and used it for crotch chafing. A few minutes later a woman walked by and asked if anyone had seen her pina colada chapstick. From that point forward his trail name was “Penis Colada.” That is a great story. What was your favorite part of the trail?
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The last four days on trail were my favorite. I snowshoed on fresh snow through the most spectacular scenery on trail with a boy who I like very much. It was new and exciting and beautiful and romantic. What about the least? Southern Oregon was my least favorite part. Everyone talks about how Oregon is flat and easy, but my feet were hurting so it didn’t feel easy. In my opinion, it was also the least spectacular part of trail, just woods and ponds.
What was your favorite pit stop? One of my favorite stops was Buck’s Lake, a small town in northern California. I got off trail to apply for a job. I didn’t end up getting the job, but I stayed with the most incredible trail angels. They were welcoming and made burgers with heirloom tomatoes and peach cobbler and fruit salad. They also took me out on their pontoon for sunset to drink white wine and listen to the Beach Boys.
What did you miss most while you were hiking? Fresh fruits and vegetables, and my friends and family. How did this hike physically affect your body? I lost about 5 to 10 pounds by the end, despite gaining muscle. My breasts mostly disappeared and my feet grew a full size. Women usually lose less weight than men, which is an advantage on trail. What about your hair? My hair was crazy on trail. I was trying to grow it out, but it was a bad length for hiking: long enough to tangle and too short to pull back. I had dyed it before trail and wanted to let the dyed part grow out. I also decided to stop using shampoo, in part thanks to articles like this. Needless to say, my hair was a bleachy, greasy, tangled mess. I cut it off when returned home. Before or after, did you have a lot of people telling you that they wanted to hike the PCT too? Or were people more like, "You’re nuts!” A lot of people say something along the lines of, “Wow, that’s amazing! I could never do that!” But hiking is kind of like drawing. People say they can’t draw, as if it’s a mysterious talent, but both drawing and hiking are just a set of skills anyone could learn. If you are interested in hiking the PCT or another trail, I would encourage you to go ahead and do it. I think it is almost always a positive experience, although returning to regular life is difficult. People sometimes romanticize long-distance hiking, but I was just walking. Some people work 8 or 10 hours a day on spreadsheets or washing floors and few people say that is amazing. What’s your favorite picture from your PCT hike?
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This is a campsite on an exposed ridge in northern California. The sky was smoky from a nearby fire, but I could see well enough to watch a meteor shower. It’s hard to choose one photo, but that was a good night.
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suburbannymph · 3 years
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fairies live off instant noodles and slurpees
im fairies
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scoopsohboi · 5 years
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s’okay if you like her
pairing: robin buckley/reader
wc: 1627
summary: you’re hanging out with robin and steve as they close the family video. you’re secretly in love with robin and your best friend steve helps hint it to her.
a/n: repost from my ao3 (scoopydoo). feel free to send me requests if you’d like! 
-more robin readers-
-st readers-
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“God, I’m so bored,” you breathed as you lay out on the floor of Family Video. It was nearly eight o’clock and Keith had gone home about an hour ago, leaving Steve and Robin to close the shop. You arrived twenty minutes later with slurpees for your two friends. Steve complained about Robin’s overflowing while his drink sat safely in his cup without threat of spillage and you just shrugged. It definitely wasn’t because you had a crush on Robin. Steve knew, though, and gave you a wink when he thought Robin wasn’t paying attention.
You’d started spending time with Steve when the Byers kid first went missing a while back, and the easy friendship had surprised you. Steve was funny, and caring, and although he wasn’t the smartest, he definitely had a strong moral compass that strongly pointed north when needed. He’d saved you from demogorgons, demodogs, and eventually even a Flayed Billy.
When Steve had first gotten his job at Scoops and you met Robin, you had an instant crush on her. She was pretty, smart, snarky, and hilarious. You’d laughed more since meeting her than you had in years. As the three of you spent time translating the Russian communication, along with Dustin, you’d fallen rather hard for her. It had been hard to keep your feelings hidden from Robin, not knowing if she was straight or not, but you’d done everything in your power to keep that shit locked up tight. You didn’t want to do anything to make her uncomfortable, even if every time your hands brushed it felt like an electric shock webbing through your veins to your shoulder.
Of course, Steve knew. You had alluded it to him one night in his living room as he’d been trying to convince you to call the guy who’d wrote his number on a napkin at Benny’s Diner and given it to you with a shy smile.
“He’s just really not my type, Steve,” you’d said, stomach in knots and feeling like you were going to throw up your entire club sandwich on Steve’s mom’s new white rug.
“What, a guy? You don’t know anything about him!” Steve had argued, exasperatedly trying to figure out why you always turned down guys’ advances.
“Steve,” you pressed, letting his name hang in the air as Steve’s brows knit together, staring at you like Eleven staring at a door and you could tell he was trying to read your mind. You raised your brows, the actual words caught in your throat with the bile that threatened to rise. I’m gay.
“What?” he asked, clearly confused until- oh, now he got it. “Oh-oh,” he blinked, leaning back against the couch and staring at nothing. It was quiet for a moment, then he began almost yelling at you for not telling him sooner. The rest of the night the two of you spent hours gushing about girls you thought were cute, at school, from films, anything. It felt amazing.
Since then, you’d been very comfortable about being gay, at least in front of Steve. But then Robin entered the picture and it was a whole new dynamic. You felt awkward, clumsy, like it was the first crush you’d ever had. Which it wasn’t, but it was the first time you were close enough to a girl you liked that you felt like any wrong step would scare her off. But it never did. Even when she’d look over and catch you staring at her, she’d just smile and start engaging you in conversation.
Then she and Steve had been interrogated by Russians and you’d sat with them during Back to the Future, chasing your drugged friends as they ran out to the water fountain and eventually to the bathroom to puke up everything in their systems. That’s when it happened. Robin came out to you and Steve. She looked horrified, as if she was a monster. You wanted to tell her that you were gay, too, but you didn’t want to ruin her moment. You also couldn’t tell her how you felt after Steve had just confessed his love for her. So the two of you sat and listened, and joked about how her high school crush Tammy Thompson sang like a Muppet.
Once everything had died down, you told Steve how you felt about Robin after having a few shots at Steve’s, an attempt to forgo nightmares in favor of being too drunk to have them.
“Isn’t that Rob’s?” he’d asked, gesturing a shot glass at your jacket before tipping his head back and gulping down its contents. You’d blushed and shoved your own glass at him, silently telling him you needed a refill. Steve obliged, but kept your glass from you when you moved to grab it.
“Jesus, what, you want to wear it next?” Your words were slurring, face heated, body swaying slightly as you both sat at the dining table. Steve watched you for a moment before sliding your shot glass to you and picking up his own. You grabbed yours and clinked it to his.
“Y’know,” he slurred as he tossed his drink back and let out a low hiss at the burn. “S’okay if you like her.” Your hand froze as the glass touched your lips, pausing briefly before following Steve’s actions.
“I dunno, Steve,” you said quietly, wishing the alcohol would do more to numb your brain so you wouldn’t have to think anymore. You were just exhausted of being a living person these days, the battles with the Upside Down were really taking a toll on you. The days were okay, but you were reliving yourself and all your friends almost dying every night and you didn’t know how long you would last.
“Trust me, she likes you,” Steve continued and you rolled your eyes. “She does. She talks about you all the time, it’s getting annoying.” You blushed then, not fully trusting Steve but the thought was nice. “I can’t go to work without hearing her gush about some book you lent her, or-or some conversation you guys had about that 2000s movie.”
“It’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, and you really need to see it already,” you argued, but couldn’t help the butterflies you felt at the thought of Robin talking to Steve about you. You spent the rest of the night drinking and talking about your crush until you could barely keep your eyes open. The two of you passed out in Steve’s room, thankfully too out of it for the night terrors.
You rolled over onto your stomach, still splayed out on the rough, old carpet of the video store as Steve and Robin restocked the shelves before calling it a night. “At least you’re not working,” Steve grumbled, reading the sleeve of a new film he hadn’t heard of and Robin scoffed.
“Neither are you, dingus,” she said, kicking his shoe with hers and grabbing the VHS from his hands before placing it on the shelf. He sighed and placed a film next to it before turning to you with a devilish smile.
“Y/N, truth or dare?” You narrowed your eyes at him, feeling a trap. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself doing whatever Steve may choose as a dare, but you were also anxious to pick truth. After contemplating telling him to fuck off altogether, you heard yourself say, “truth.” Steve grined, wheels clearly spinning in his brain. Steve humed loudly and you watched Robin continue to stock tapes, an amused grin tugging at the corners of her lips. Steve grinned then, too, and you had a bad feeling about that. “Who would you rather: Phoebe Cates or Michael J. Fox?” You blushed profusely as Robin froze, hand resting on a tape with her back to you though you could tell she was waiting to hear your answer. You let out a shaky breath. Dammit, Harrington.
“You know it’s Phoebe,” you answered before punching him lightly in the arm. He rubbed his shoulder and mouthed an exaggerated ‘ow.’ You knew your face was beet red and you were glad Robin wasn’t looking at you. “If I ever say Michael, lock me up immediately.”
“Really?” Robin asked, voice shocked and you glanced at her. She was looking at you surprised, like she’d never seen you before. She almost looked, hopeful.
“Yeah,” you said shyly. You heard Steve say something about grabbing an item from the back, but he already sounded miles away, as if it were only you and Robin.
“How am I just learning this now?” she asked and you sat up, crossing your legs as she turned her attention solely on you.
“I don’t know,” you said honestly. “I mean, I wanted to tell you, I just- it never seemed like the right time.” Robin laughed softly.
“Because drugged in a movie theater bathroom was so perfect.” You giggled a little.
“Exactly. And I couldn’t really say, ‘hey, Robin, I’m in love with you,’ when Dingus already stole that thunder.” Robin’s brows flew up and after a beat she started to smile softly.
“Well,” she breathed, “too bad you didn’t get to go first.” You reached out and brushed her hair behind her ear. You bit your lip as her blue eyes gazed into yours.
“You think I would’ve had a better shot?”
“I think you’re the only one who had one in the first place.” You didn’t know who moved first, but a moment later your eyes were closed and Robin’s lips were pressed against yours. Your hand cupped her jaw as hers went to your waist and your mouths moved perfectly in sync. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was the first of many. Gentle and warm and perfect.
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yamithediaperdork · 4 years
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Trails of a bully (A malcore story)
The following story while being about malcore, is not the malcore from silly little god nor Malcore's lost bet. there's a multiverse of Malcore's out there folks, and it's best not to over think it. Malcore was a bully, A true blue grade 8 and 14 year old bully and he loved every second of it. He was one of the shortest kids at axmaina jr high but made up with it with a willingness to fight dirty, a nasty streak a mile wide, a friend who was a green belt in karate, and a big for his age friend. anytime malcore did find himself at risk of getting beat up he was quick to holler for a teacher and could cry at the drop of the dime, making him more then just a little loathed around the school, and made sure anyone who stuck around the school during lunch hour tried to avoid him and his friends. Today's target was a sixth grader who was about the same size as malcore and named Justin, and who had actually called malcore out for a showdown. Malcore wasn't worried though as he showed up, with Josh and his karate skills to the left of him and Jacob and his freakish power to the right. They had made it a goal to make every sixth grade boy cry at least ONCE this year and Justin was the last hold out and malcore was looking forward to settling this once and for all. with his dirty blond hair and green eyes Justin had a look most of the girls called handsome, as opposed to malcore who brown hair and brown eyes and MAYBE a hint of baby fat got him called 'cute' or 'adorable'..hardly things you wanted to hear in grade nine. the stupid blond smirked as malcore strolled up with his crew and it made Malcore hate his stupid handsome face even more. "About time you showed up. I was starting to think you got scared and wet yourself." Justin teased. Malcore stopped and glared at that insult, a blush coming to his cheeks. 'does..does he know..no it's just stupid banter' The bully thought and growled. "Awfully big words coming from a dead twerp." Malcore said, trying to sound tough but his voice came out as more of a squeak. The gathered kids from the other assorted grades laughed and Malcore's cheeks were burning now. "Awww did I touch a nerve there? or does baby need his diapies changed?" Justin asked in a mocking baby tone. "Oh that is IT! I'm gonna fucking enjoy this!" Malcore growled and rushed over tackling Justin down to the ground and started to wail away on the little shit as hard as he could. Josh and Jacob cheered him on as he bloodied the nose of the little shit but then Justin caught Malcore's next punch and held it with ease. "You have you're fun diaper baby? every dog gets one bite and that was yours." Justin said before grabbing malcore but the front of his red shirt tossing him off of him with seeming ease. Malcore yelped as he landed face first into a pile of dirt and got up spit the resulting mud out of his mouth and wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "You think you're hot shit!?" Malcore practically screamed, though in his rage his voice had gone even higher and he sounded like a toddler having a fit, as least in tone. "Your in for it now! Jacob! Josh! FUCK THIS BITCH UP!" As soon as he called for them his trusty sidekick started towards Justin, Jacob glaring at the other students daring any of them to get involved. Justin didn't look worried however and actually just tsked and took out his smart phone and smiled at Malcore. "Call them off baby Malcore, or I press play." Justin said. Malcore tilted his head to the side and squinted to make out the video, then his eyes went wide as he recognized the location and the woman in the video. "J-Josh! Jacob! Hold off!" He quickly cried out. The two lackey's paused and exchanged confused looked, but the pair shrugged and halted. "That's better." Justin said and laughed, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "wouldn't want everyone to see what IIIII saw last night at walmart would you Malcore?" "Fucking just delete that video and I'll leave you alone." Malcore said, teeth clenched but he had panic in his eyes. "what the fuck is on that video?" Josh asked malcore, confused now. there were a few cries from the crowd, they wanted to know as well and Justin smirked and wagged his eyebrows. "I dunno.. Mayyybe I'll play it for everyone..but only if Jacob and Josh promise not to lay a finger on me." Justin said and turned to the only two real threats. "G-Guys!! W-who's side are you on? Mine or this little dipshits!" Malcore yelped. "...well Justin wasn't the one who ate all my snack cakes.." josh said and turned to Jacob. "and Justin hasn't borrowed any video games from me and still not returned them 4 months later." Jacob added. "I-I'll Get you all the snack cakes you want and I'll even give you one of my games!" Malcore pleaded, dropping to his knees now, both hands together as he begged. "Jesus, what the hell is in that video?" Josh asked with a smirk. "I-I'll tell you both later, just Pleasssse I need you now!" seeing the big fearsome bully begging on his knees and looking ready to cry had the rest of the gathered crowd laughing and malcore knew he was done as a bully as they took pictures, but it STILL wouldn't be as bad as it could be if that little shit head played that video. "Jeeeze..I don't wanna listen to a toddler have a tantrum.. I'll delete the video from my phone malcore..but i have it on my home computer still. I'll Let you off the hook for now, But you'll be getting a special e-mail from me tonight..so be paying attention crybaby." Justin said and true to his word the video was gone. After the noon hour display, Jacob and Josh had only loosely hung around Malcore, who told them he'd tell them about what was on the video after school at his his house. Still the fear and semi respect Malcore had held was gone and he had a new nickname before the day was out of 'crybaby' and was powerless to do anything about it but whine to the teachers. (which he had only done once, and his english teacher, with malcore standing by him at the front of the class had scolded the class for making fun of someone just because his small size meant he might cry a little easier and told malcore he was free to cry if he felt the need.) Finally with the day over malcore was walking home with his best buddies and trying to put it all behind him. "So I'm thinking, we sneak into the little pukes house and just make him delete that shit off his computer. you guys with me?" Malcore asked, while they were stopped at a 7 11 picking up the snack cakes he had promised Josh and getting them all drinks. "yeahhh no. that shit is illegal you dork." Josh said. "and remember to get the small Slurpee, you end up having to piss every five minutes when you get the big gulp." Jacob reminded him. Grumbling and huffing the squirt payed for the snacks and the drinks and sucked on his in moody silence for the rest of the walk towards his house. Seeing his mom's car in the driveway Malcore signed in relief, there was NO way she'd let Jacob and Josh stay too long since she always insisted on spending at least a hour of mommy-son time with malcore when she got off early from work and if he delayed long enough he wouldn't have to tell his buds just what had been on the video. "Hey mom, I'm home!" Malcore called out to her as the three came in but before he could follow up with that his friend were with him her voice rang out from the kitchen. "Oh good! I went back to the store today sweetie and made sure to get you the princess diapers that you wanted, after that fit you threw last night when all they had were the spaceman ones. I know how much you like being a little princess before bed." his mom called out. She came around the corner and saw Malcore just standing there, Mouth hung open and cheeks burning red and then noticed Josh and Jacob ALSO standing there. "M-Mom!" Malcore squeaked out finally as she gave a sheepish chuckle. "ahhh..whoops." she said and rubbed the back of her head. "Princess." Jacob said, grinning ear to ear. "Diapers!?" Josh finished and then both started to laugh. "You boys stop that this instant!" Malcore's mom scolded the boys, who tried, they really did try to stop laughing. "It's not Malcore's fault he's started bed wetting again and if he wants to be a cute little sissy butt at night!" she added. "MOM! NOT HELPING!" Malcore shrieked as his friends started laughing again and then to make matted worse there was a hissing sound then Malcore's crotch felt warm and.. "oh dear..You boys made him so upset he wet himself! get out of here, both of you and don't think I won't be calling your parents!" Malcore's mom scolded them and then other two boys left, having more then a fair idea of what the video would of been. It had been 7:30ish the night before, when Justin saw Malcore as the little bully made his way into Walmart tugging and pulling on his mom's arm and telling her to hurry up. he'd been there to go and get a new game and was on his way out, but the sight of malcore acting like a little kid eager to get a new toy interested him, and if nothing else the footage would be funny to show off as he took out his smart phone and started to record. "Settle down malcore, it's not like there wouldn't be any left!" His mom was scolding him, but with a chuckle in her voice. "That's what you said lassst time and you were suppose to get them on your way home from work! then you made me do homework and I had to let you kick my butt in video games for a hour before we could come so hurry uppp!" the bully whined. Anyone who'd of heard him would of thought it was a toddler whining but clearly Malcore's mother was just amused by the fit and let him drag her as fast as he could. "oh you let me kick your butt huh? I'll have to remember that and try EXTRA hard next mommy and son time." she teased but they got to the aisle that malcore wanted and as Justin panned the phone up, he realized it was the incontinence aisle. "oh, this is gonna be good." Justin said for the benefit of the video. sneaking up to film them from a little bit of a distance, Justin was still able to catch Malcore breaking away from his mother and running down to a spot  in the aisle looking excited..then looking on disbelief. "I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD OF COME SOONER!" the pint sized bully screamed and started to have a royal fit, screaming and plopping onto his butt, kicking and pounding his fists on the floor as his mother rushed over. "Oh dear, they're out of the princess diapers -again-?" She asked, knelled down and trying to sooth the brat. "YES! A-AND I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN AND NOW I CAN'T BE A PRETTY PRINCESS AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULTTTT!" Malcore screamed then -actually- broke down in tears and started to sob. The icing on the cake was when Malcore's mother took a large -pink- pacifier out of her purse and popped it in the sobbing boys mouth and he started to suckle on it. Justin got one last shot of Malcore's mom picking him up and patting his back as the big baby whimpered before ducking away to hide. After his friends had left and Mommy had gotten malcore all cleaned up and into one of his thick pink diapers (with little crowns and scepters and the word PRINCESS in white cursive on the butt) he still seemed to be caught between his usual happy little sissy self and totally miserable. "You don't understand mommy!" he whined as she helped him into his high chair for some milk and cookies. "They're gonna tell everyone!" "well if they do that then their not very good friends! You just have your snack princess and Mommy will make a few phone calls." She said and walked off, leaving Malcore to think about just HOW doomed he was, and he STILL had whatever his stupid little e-mail thing from Justin was gonna be to put up with. "This can not get ANY worse!" the little dork whined softly before chowing down on his cookies. 
Part 2
Malcore finished off the last of his cookies and squirmed in the high chair. something that normally brought the little shorty so much pleasure and fun was gonna ruin him tomorrow and it was giving him a icky tummy. when mommy came back from making her calls and saw him, looking grumpy with chocolate smears on his face and his chin resting on his hand, she came over and gave her special little guy a hug. "it's gonna be OK Malcore, I made sure to call your friends parents, and let them know what a couple of bullies they are! I'm not sure I want you to hang out with them anymore either if their gonna be so rude to my little princess." she added. Malcore gulped, this was NOT good news like his mommy hoped it would be. If Jacob and Josh got in trouble over him then there was NO way they'd have his back tomorrow, and if mom started to ban them from hanging out with him.. "B-But Mommmm!" Malcore started, doing his best whinny sissy voice. "They're still my friends! I'm sure we can work this out! S-so you should call their parents back and-" His mom smiled and cut him off with a big hug as she lifted him out of his highchair. "You're just SUCH a sweetheart! more worried about your friends then yourself even after they made you cry! That's why I spoil you so much!" she coo'ed.   Malcore gave a weak smile back, and decided that since he was so totally doomed he might as well enjoy tonight before he became a super duper laughing stock. Waiting for his mom to wipe his face clean with a washcloth, Malcore finally spoke up. "Ummm can we do a super duper extended Mommy son time t'day? Pleassssse?" He asked, having been sat on the counter as she washed his face and now giving her Bambi eyes. "heh, of course Princess. you know I can't say no to that face!" As Josh walked in the door of his house his dad was waiting for him, and looking mad. "What's this I hear about you bullying your poor little friend Malcore and making him wet his pants?!" His dad asked, looking pissed. Josh gulped, if there was ONE thing his father hated above anything else, it was a bully and Josh knew he'd been risking a lot with helping out Malcore all this time, but the rush of power and the rewards had been just too sweet to pass up. "W-Well see, It's not exactly like tha-" Josh tried to explain, but found himself getting grabbed by the ear and getting lead over to a corner of the room that Josh hadn't had to visit in a few years now, that his little brother ended up in at least once a week, the spanking corner. "Dad NO! Wait! I can explain!" Josh yelped, the though of his old man tanning his cheeks making the green belt  weak in the knees and ironically his own bladder was awfully full. "I talked with Malcore's mother, and she told me how you drove her poor boy to tears after he had a accident, and you made fun of him for needing bedtime diapers!" Josh's dad said. The tone in his voice made it clear that for him that was good enough and he took a seat on the spanking stool and pulled josh over his lap. Ignoring Josh's pleas for mercy he tugged down the poor boys pants and undies just as Josh's little brother Jet walked into the room, drinking from a juice box and with a puzzled look on his face. that turned into delight as he realized that Joshie was gonna be the one getting a tanning, not his 8 year old butt for a change. "uh-oh. what did Joshie do daddy?" the little brat asked, a BIG grin on his face. Josh had after all watched HIM get spanked with a huge smirk on his face lots of times so fair was fair! "He was the one thing I told you boys NEVER to be, a Bully!" Dad said and then brought his hand down on Josh's backside. As Josh howled in pain and begged for mercy, he only made it about 5 spanks in before he lost control of his bladder and drenched his fathers lap which ended the spanking, but didn't do him any favors. "Maye Malcore isn't the only one who needs diapers." His dad said while Jet giggled like crazy. "DADDY NO!" Josh whimpered, turning pale. As Jacob entered his house his grandmother was waiting for him, and the semi giant gulped having a good idea what this was about. "Do you know I just got a call from Malcore's mother?" She asked, looking less then pleased. "I...may of heard something about her threatening to call, yes." Jacob said and gulped nervously. "And so you know what she told me?" "I..May have a vague idea about what may of been said." Jacob said, trying to hedge his bets. His grandmother raised a eyebrow, then took a seat in her laz-y-boy chair and motioned for him to plop his butt on the footstool in front of her. "well let me hear YOUR version of what went down, I'll compare it with what I was told, and we'll go on from there." she said. Jacob gulped and took the seat. "well Ok. Soo we got back to Malcore's after stopping at sev for slurpee's and snacks an-" "who paid for the slurpees and snacks?" His grandmother asked, cutting him off. "I know for a fact you don't have any money right now after getting a advance on your allowance till next month." "Er..well..Malcore treated us." Jacob said and had a sinking feeling as he watched her frown a little.  "A-Anyways.. as we got back to Malcore's place, well..OK.. it turned he wears diapers to bed grandma! and not just diapers, but princess ones, and he apparently had a HUGE fit over not being able to get them the night before! Like, how was I NOT suppose to laugh! I'm only human!" "And then malcore wet himself, and you and Josh laughed even more at the poor pint sized friend who had treated you to slurppes and snacks." Grandma said. "...Well when you put it like that I'm kind of a dick." Jacob said. "Quite right. so now that we agree that you were a dick, guess who's going to be going and getting all dressed up for the rest of the day, and will be coming straight home after school for the next two weeks to be my little grand daughter Jenny?" Jacob whimpered and groaned, his grandmother didn't bother trying to spank him since he had such a high pain tolerance but knew what a macho image of himself he had. So instead of a spanking she liked to invoke what she called petticoat punishment which mean she dressed Jacob up in pretty dresses and panties, and put bows in his hair and made the giant squirm like crazy. "M-Me grandma." Jacob whimpered, looking ready to cry. "Awww, it's ok Jenny. if you wanna cry, go ahead. better now then when I get your makeup on." and with that the giant did start to sob but let himself be lead upstairs. Justin was on cloud nine as he finished up making the special audio trance files and putting them to the video he still had of Malcore's little fit.   there was just NO WAY that the little sissy would be able to fight the effects of this hypnotic video and tomorrow he was gonna go from being known as crybaby malcore to a much more humiliating nick name. such was the power of the video that Justin himself had made sure to wear ear plugs AND headphones (not plugged in of course) with the sound turned off on his computer just to make sure he didn't end up programing himself. He should do ONE final check on the program, but he had already watched the video enough and checked the markers to be sure and popped it onto YouTube as a private video, only available via linkage and then e-mailed Malcore the link and a message. "Ok Princess, Your gonna watch this movie 10 times with the volume on max, while sucking on your pacifier then go to bed. I'll be able to keep track of the views and I'll know if you watched it less then 10. but if you wanna watch it MORE then that, heh, go ahead. If you've been a good little baby butt then I'll let this all go away tomorrow, if not, I make the video public. YOUR choice diaper baby." With the message sent Justin closed his browser and despite it being only 6ish, he felt oddly tired. Blaming it on staring at the screen for too long he went over to his bed and laid down for a quick power nap, when his parents came in to check on him, to see if he wanted to go out for ice cream half a hour later, they both had to chuckle, their so called big boy was sucking on his thumb and hugging one of his pillows to his chest, drooling up a storm. After playing video games with mommy for as long as he could get away with, and having pizza and pop for supper, Malcore had his by then soggy diapers changed and had taken a bubble bath then was re-diapered and went off to his room to do his homework before his 9 pm bedtime. Malcore was in his favorite princess PJ top and tried to calm himself, already having his paci in his mouth as he crinkled away in his chair as he logged onto his e-mail account. true to his word, there was the e-mail from Justin and Malcore whimpered then opened the e-mail. As he read the message and opened the link malcore smiled behind his paci, if this was all that stupid head Justin could come up with then malcore was mostly in the home free, at least on THAT end of things. 'I'll hafa suck up to Josh and Jacob tomorrow and try and make up for getting them in trouble...but man, just watch a video ten times? piece of cake!' Malcore thought with a giggle. The little sissy started to bounce up and down in his chair, his diapers crinkling big time and bobbing his head from side to side as he got his headphones plugged and and clicked on the video to start it. It was just his little fit at the mall with some weird music in the back round, and some flashy stuff popping up in the video that made him feel a little silly. refreshing the link, he watched it again and felt himself feeling a little, weird. like, he was SUPER getting into the video to the extent he wasn't noticing his tummy was making weird noises. By the fourth watch his tummy was cramping but that was OK, Malcore could wait out his tummy troubles, he was a good little sissy who wanted to watch his new favorite video. As he watched it for the sixth time he was rocking back and forth, trying not to make oopise poopises in his diapies, but he was also wonder if Justin would be super nice and leave this totally awesome video up, Malcore super de duper loved it! As he started the video for the tenth time malcore slid out of his chair and pushed it back, and braced himself on the computer desk as he started to video. He suckled his paci in time to the music and with a dopey smile behind his pacifier grunted and unloaded into the set of his pretty princess diapers like a good little sissy. it was just so silly now to widdle Malcore that he had only been wearing his princess diapies and just wetting them when they were clearly made for him to be a stinky little princess! he'd hafa give Justin a big smooch on the cheek for helping him understand all of that even as his poor diapers drooped down and the room filled up with a stinky smell. as the video finished, Malcore giggled and took his head phones off and closed the tab, then waddled over to bed with his smelly load making him have to do the cowboy walk and crawled into bed, snuggling into his tiger stuffie and going strait to sleep. After soaking his dad's lap Josh had been forced to stand in the corner, his nose on a target on the wall with his pants and undies around his ankles. Jet had been told to watch him and make sure he stayed in the corner while daddy went to the store to pick up something and Josh had a sinking feeling in his gut he knew exactly what it was. "Geez 'big brother'..you know I get spanked lots but I don't wet myself!" Jet smirked, clearly loving ever second of his brothers torment and knowing that Josh couldn't do a damn thing without making it worse. "I..I had a full bladder ok!?" Josh grumbled, almost glad to have a excuse not to have to look at his gloating little brother. "You know if you had told dad you had to pee, he'd of stopped and let you use the bathroom right? he just adds three swats." Jet laughed. Josh SHOULD of known that but in his blind panic he'd forgotten all about that rule and groaned. "whatever, just means -I- get to be the big brother tonight." Jet giggled but hushed up. the little brat knew better then to tease Joshie without permission from daddy and risk being labeled a bully. "Alright Joshie. I've had time to think about it, and I've worked out the rest of your punishment." Daddy said as he came in, carrying two bags from the drug store. "you can pull away from the punishment corner now." he added. As Josh pulled away he had to fight back a sob, there in daddies hands was TWO packs of diapers, and a baby bottle and a pacifier. "I think going to bed every night till these diapers run out like your friend has to will teach you not to make fun of those with potty issues, since clearly your not immune to a wetting accident yourself. for today, you'll be spending the rest of the day diapered, and be making use of the pacifier and the baby bottles. with the amount of diapers I brought you should be outta of them in about a month or so, but if I think you need more time in diapers you WILL be padded after school and I'll be buying anther pack. do I make myself clear?" Daddy asked. Josh sniffled and fresh tears flowed down his cheeks, but he nodded. "and Jet, before you think about picking on your new baby brother, just remember they have diapers in your size too little man." "Y-yes daddy!" After that Josh had been diapered and denied any pants, with a pacifier popped in his mouth (and a warning not to remove it without permission from Daddy or Jet) He then had to go and clean up his accident out of the naughty corner. After that it was homework time for the boys, with Jet as normal finishing first and going off to claim the tv. Josh naturally found it had to focus on his homework given his attire but Daddy was understanding and helped him a little. With his homework done he was allowed to go and watch cartoons with Jet, but was handed a baby bottle loaded with apple juice to drink while Jet was sipping on a coke. Thirsty as he was Josh suckled from the bottle, cheeks burning red but Jet wisely didn't say anything. At suppertime Josh's food had been cut up for him, and he was given a baby fork to use, though he was thankfully too big to fit in Jet's old highchair so daddy hadn't even bothered. Daddy was nice in that he didn't make Josh USE the diaper, all he had to do was tug on his or jet's arm and get permission. went it came time for bed daddy decided the old diaper looked a little beat up, but still was good so just taped anther diaper over the current one and tucked Josh into bed, a full hour before Jet. As the green belt laid there, diapered, sucking on a pacifier, and mortified.. he swore to himself he was gonna take this out on Malcore the next day before finally drifting off to sleep. About 15 minutes after he conked out though Jet would sneak into his room, with a bowl of warm water.. Jacob whined loudly as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing a pair of white knee high socks and a pair of pink panties, not that you could even see the panties (thank god!) Because he was in a light yellow sundress with a white flower print that came down to just above his knees. He had a yellow bow pinned in his hair and was wearing a black pair of Mary Jane's, and his grandmother was waiting for him to get the last of his tears out before she put on his makeup. "You know Jacob, I almost wish you'd misbehave a little more often. you just look so CUTE as Jenny!" the old lady teased and smirked, dabbing at his cheeks with a Kleenex. "P-Please no Make up grandma." 'Jenny' pleaded, sniffling. "I-It's too much already!" the poor bully whimpered. "Well I'll let you decide." His grandmother said and Jacob gulped at the evil smile on her face. There was no doubt where Jacob got his evil creative ideas when it came to making a target whimper. "You can let me get the make up on you and then we can go and watch some tv.. OR you can go make up free and then go and mow the lawn, the grass IS getting a little long." Jacob whined big time at that, he had just mowed the lawn on Sunday and there was no way it needed anther go already! Still given his choices the not so little sissy forced a smile on his face. "M-Make me cute grandma." he said in his best girl voice, all while vowing vengeance on Malcore tomorrow.
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