sebastian: hey, are we still in a fight?

kurt: i don’t know. did you stop being an asshole?

sebastian: no. i don’t think so.

Steve: Sure, physics has laws.

Steve, bouncing his shield off five bad guys like he's playing pinball: But I've been breaking the law since the thirties.

Peter, remembering the Captain America PSAs: *surprised pikachu face*

Natasha: can i be frank with you guys?

Thor: sure but i don’t see how changing your name is going to help

Peter: can i still be Peter?

Thor: shh let frank speak

tony, noticing that peter's hands are scraped up: kid you okay? your hands are bleeding

peter: oh im fine i fell down the stairs

happy:

peter: i had help but

tony: what do you mean /you had help/

Loki, the one rapper eminem is too scared to diss...

Loki: Youuuu little motherfucker, you worthless thot, you crazy dick, ya dust catcher bitch! Ya skanky, ya smelly, ya nasty, ya ugly! 

Tony: ...... I just asked if you’d like a drink.....

Thor: *Sighing* It isn’t the first time...

He did it...

Tony: *Minding his own business, gets clonked on the head with Mjolnir* OWWWWW- SON OF A-

Steve and Thor: .... *point at each other*

tony: saying that i died isn't funny!

peter: but how you died was funny

tony: killed by a blimp? seriously?

peter: hey, it kills over one american every year!

snacks.

Bucky, looking for a snack: Hmm, what should I eat?

Sam, doing the dishes: whistling

Steve, drinking water.

Bucky, pointing at Sam: Not only have I found a snack but a three course meal!

Steve, chokes on his water: exCuSe mE–

Tony: I'm like fine wine.

Rhodey: You make people do dumb shit?

Tony: …No. I wanted to say, I get better with age.

Rhodey: Hmm. Why not both?

hunter, playing the guitar:

sebastian: do you take requests?

hunter, shrugging: i guess.

sebastian: stop.

hunter:

hunter, slapping the drink out of sebastian’s hand:

Thor could easily be a cottage core lesbian

Steve: So you know the thing you suggested I not do?

Bucky: You mean the incredibly reckless and dangerous thing I ordered you not to do?

Steve: Yeah, that thing. Well I kinda did it.

Bucky:

Bucky: Steve, I say this with love, but your stupidity astounds me.

Wanda: my kink is when people care about my feelings and what i have to say.

Natasha: too unrealistic. settle for bondage like the rest of us.

Peter, eating a full bowl of haribo sour s'ghetti with chopsticks: mmm you don't get authentic italian cuisine like this anymore

Tony: .....

Tony: i'm calling your therapist.

Soooo its been a minute and i figured I'd finally explain why it takes me forever to post. . . . Wow where do I start... I guess at the beginning (Ill make it as short as I can). I have crps, or complex regional pain syndrome. Its a painful nerve disease that started in my left foot and has now spread through both of my legs. It burns in different ways every day and makes everything harder to do. On top of that I have chronic migraines and anxiety. Ive had a migraine every day for almost 2 years, and I gotta say, its sucks. There are days when I can get through it and there are also days when i can barely get out of bed. It throws everything in my life off balance. Between dr appointments, school, and just overall pain, every day is a struggle. One of the few things that has helped me is this account. I love and appreciate every single one of you, and you've made my life so much better!! Whenever I'm in pain (like right now lol) I know I can see what you all have posted or talk to one of the amazing people I've met here. I guess to sum it up I just want to say thank you for your patience and support, and remind you that you should always be kind to everyone bc you never know what they're going through! If you have any questions (or just wanna talk!) Dm me!! Ily3000❤❤ . . . Tags: #theavengers #steverogers #buckybarnes #stucky #incorrectbucky #incorrectsteverogers #incorrectavengers #incorrectmarvel Original text cred: @/incorrectbucko on twitter (at Spoonie Crisis) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_02abyFIo6/?igshid=1wtizrk4mgd69

My Favorite MCU Headcanon

is that Steve told everyone his birthday is the 4th of July in an effort to “stay in character” and the world just rolled with it for 70+ years. Imagine Bucky trying to give him a birthday present in December or something, and in an effort to keep the secret from the rest of the Avengers, Steve panics and throws it out the nearest window and hits Tony’s car, setting off the car alarm.