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#incorrect wei wuxian
jubileesstuff · 3 months
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Wei Ying, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?
Nie Huaisang: Lan Wangji's in the kitchen.
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Wen Ning: What are you making, Master Wei?
Wei Wuxian: A talisman that strengthens wood.
Wen Ning: Why would you need a talisman for that?
Wei Wuxian: *thinking about all the bathtubs WangXian have broken over the years*
Wei Wuxian: ...ah, well, you just never know when you might need stronger wood.
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lovewanxian · 18 days
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Lan Wangji: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Wei Wuxian, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
A-Yuan, whispering: Because I have little hands.
Wei Wuxian to Lan Wangji: Because he has little hands.
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twistedappletree · 6 months
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wei wuxian: *appears with a screeching murder of crows, creepy black tendrils sprouting out of his body, glowing red eyes and a corpse-summoning hell flute*
lan wangji: move in with me
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nixster627 · 2 months
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Wei Wuxian: What's your type?
Lan Wangji: Kind, smart and also dumb, brave, a good fighter.
Wei Wuxian: That kinda sounds like me. Too bad I'm not a woman.
Lan Wangji: Did I mention dumb?
Wei Wuxian: Yes.
Lan Wangji: Good. Just making sure.
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wangxian-on-repeat · 5 months
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Wei Wuxian: would you still think i’m hot if i was evil
Lan Wangji: if by “evil” you mean rebelling against the orthodoxy that was actually so incredibly attractive i almost threw up though i actively tried to ignore it at the time
Lan Wangji: your face is very red, what is wrong
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uncorrectintamed · 4 months
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Lan Xichen: Just be casual. Try some light flirting.
Lan Wangji: Okay. I can do that.
[Later]
Wei Wuxian: Nice work! High Five!
Lan Wangji: [intertwines their fingers]
Wei Wuxian: Wh-
Lan Wangji: I'm in love with you.
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disgracefulthings · 15 days
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Wei Wuxian: My brother still misses me...
Wei Wuxian: But his aim is getting better!
Sounds of Zidian cracking and Jiang Cheng screaming in the distance
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wangxian-the-zhijis · 3 months
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Wwx: *trying to flirt*
Wwx: Can you help me? I’m lost.
Lwj: Mn.
Wwx: Could you tell me where the road to your heart is?
Lwj: Shouldn’t Wei Ying know that already? Wei Ying was the one who paved it.
Wwx: *is flustered* *blushing intensifies*
//When you’re a flirt but he’s also a flirt//
(Insp.)
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Lan Wangji: Jiang Wanyin, I’m asking permission to marry your brother.
Jiang Cheng: What is this, the dark ages? Since you asked, no you can’t. Beat me in a duel first.
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lucky-cat-13 · 4 months
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Nie Huaisang: I'm gonna need a human skull and you can't ask any questions.
Wei Wuxian: Only if you also don't ask why.
Wei Wuxian: *pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Nie Huaisang: ...
Wei Wuxian: ...
Nie Huaisang: This one is fine.
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jubileesstuff · 3 months
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Jiang Cheng: What the hell is wrong with you?
Wei Ying: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.
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twenty-orange-balloons · 11 months
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Jiang Cheng: Could you two be anymore shameless!?
Wei Wuxian, sitting on Lan Wangji’s lap being hand fed while Lan Wangji’s other hand is feeling him up, sharing kisses: Absolutely.
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lovewanxian · 10 months
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Lan Wangji: I can love a person and still admit when they're wrong. I love Wei Ying but can acknowledge his flaws (he has none) and can hold him accountable for his wrongdoings (he's never done anything wrong in his life) and call him out for his actions (which are always correct)
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twistedappletree · 8 months
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wei wuxian: *on the boat in Caiyi Town* of course i know how to talk to girls, i can make any girl fall in love with me! watch this-
wei wuxian: *pointing at lan wangji* LADIES, ISN’T HE PRETTY? HANDSOME?? OTHERWORDLY???
ladies: so handsome!!!
wei wuxian: IS HE NOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS IMMACULATE MALE SPECIMEN YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE?
ladies: yeeaah…! i guess?
wei wuxian: WOULDN’T YOU PURPOSELY BREAK ALL 3,000 LAN SECT RULES JUST TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM? TO STARE AT HIS FACE FOR HOURS?? TO GET PUNISHED BY HIM???
ladies: …………
wei wuxian: WOULD YOU DRAW HIS PORTRAIT AND SHOW HIM YOUR COLLECTION OF GAY POR-
jiang cheng: *pushes him off the boat*
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nixster627 · 21 days
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Jiang Cheng: Are you in love with Lan Wangji?
Wei Wuxian: No. Why do you ask?
Jiang Cheng: Why else would there be "LZ+WY" in hearts everywhere?
Wei Wuxian: I just like the way those letters look together.
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