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#incorrect texts
fanaticalthings · 2 years
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You know how siblings will pay each other to get the other to do something for them?
I bet the batkids do that with each other all the time, except the offers they make are absolute ass, yet the other sibling always accepts regardless of what they get in return.
But if BRUCE offers them something (usually money) to do something for him they always berate him for being cheap like "Oh, so you're a BILLIONAIRE and won't even pay your own children a living wage for us to complete this one simple task? For SHAME!"
Tim: I'll give you my left over fruit roll up if you write my 2000 word English paper for me.
Jason: Deal.
[Bruce seeing this exchange]
Bruce: I'll give you 100 doll-
Jason: Don't be stingy.
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chaitantei · 8 months
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hersheyalmond · 2 years
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Dustin, to Steve: Happy Father's Day Steve *genuinely smiles*
Steve, with glassy eyes: ...W-what?
*The kids bringing in a cake*
The kids, in unison: Happy Father's day Steve!
*Steve starts sobbing*
Dustin, hugging Steve: You deserve it
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kazuha-pista-badam · 11 months
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howl: if there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until i get back
sophie: of course. i can't flip this table by myself
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raiisakitsune · 1 year
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Negan: i got you all here today to the sanctuary because i crave the deadliest game.
Carl, nodding: knife monopoly.
Negan: i was actually gonna hunt you for sport but now I’m pretty interested in whatever knife monopoly is.
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anakincentric · 5 months
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. ˚◞★ ― text messages with anakin skywalker [1/?] ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ
mdni. minors & ageless blogs will be blocked. warnings: sexual content, established relationship, jealousy, aivela is a goddess of passion in sw just used as a nickname here.
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date night bonus:
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exactlaptime · 9 months
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[ a lazy afternoon, somewhere in monaco ]
max : [carrying a box] what would you do if I came home one day with six kittens?
charles : what's in the box?
max :
charles : max, what's in the box baby?
max : [shows the box] aren't they the cutest? :(
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deadtothebones · 7 months
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I saw this and thought of them 🥰
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weiyjling · 5 months
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Lloyd: Today I lost my dear brother Kai.
Kai: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD!
Lloyd: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.
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qcomicsy · 1 year
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stay-dazed · 7 months
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jeongin: look minho-hyung! i drew a picture of you as leebit. he has his arms crossed because people keep irritating him. do you like it??
minho, in tears: it's okay, i guess
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fanaticalthings · 2 years
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(he didn't.)
<- Prev Next ->
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loonaya · 7 months
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they are my little meow meows
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incorrectwolfstar · 1 year
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sirius: welcome, fellow idiots
remus: hello, sirius
sirius: no no, not you remus, you’re not an idiot
remus: you underestimate me
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kazuha-pista-badam · 6 months
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*sebastian and christian sitting on a bench*
mark: why do you guys look so sad?
christian: sit down so we could tell you
*mark sits down*
sebastian: the bench is freshly painted.
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fabledforsythias · 7 months
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Jisung: If you had to choose between me being dead and 127 million gold bars what would you choose?
Chenle: The gold.
Jisung: But- But I'll be dead!
Chenle: And you will have the grandest funeral in the history of mankind, what's your point?
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