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dc-and-damirae · 1 year

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damian: Do you love me?

raven: Of course I do.

damian: Would you still love me if I did something bad?

raven: I would.

damian: I mean something really, really–

raven: You literally stabbed a man two minutes ago, tf do you expect me to say "no"?!

jason: I'm ok!

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celestialvoid-fanfiction · 11 months

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Derek: Am I a mess?

Stiles: Of course you are, that’s why we get along so well.

Derek: Oh… Am I at least a hot mess?

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fromtheirtowertheycanseeitall · 11 days

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two-sibyls-tall · 8 months

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*about the Batfamily*

Wally West, to Dick Grayson: So you’re girlboss… is Tim gaslight?

Roy Harper: Which one of you is gatekeep.

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yandereteentitans · 2 years

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Garfield: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Y/n: Wow. They sound stupid. Garfield: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Y/n: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Garfield: I guess you’re right. Hey Y/n, I love you. Y/n: See! Just say that! Garfield: Holy fucking shit. Y/n: If that flies over their head then, sorry Garfield, but they're too dumb for you. Garfield: Y/n.

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headcanonthings · 1 year

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Dick: Hey, Wally! Can I read your palm?

Wally: Sure!

Dick: *takes Wally’s hand and looks into the creases*

Dick: I see something in your future.

Wally: What is it?

Dick: *intertwines his fingers into Wally’s*

Dick, smiling: Me.

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jasonsthunderthighs · 10 months

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Dick: Hey, you guys wanna go get some D-E-S-S-E-R-T?

Kori: Yea, dude I need me a T-R-E-A-T.

Duke: Whatcha guys talkin’ ‘bout?

Jason: Yea, why did you guys just spell “dess-”

Dick: *Coverin’ Jason’s mouth* No, no, no! SHUT UP! Don’t say it-

Duke: Uh.. Why?

Dick: Oh, God. How do we tell you guys this?

Kori: Garfield can’t spell.

Jason:

Jason: What?

Kori: He can’t spell, so when we talk ‘bout somethin’ that he wants, we spell it out loud so he doesn’t get too excited.

Jason: He’s a grown ass person and can’t handle hearin’ the word “Treat”?

Garfield: Treat?

Kori and Dick: No treat!

Garfield: Treat??

Kori and Dick: No treat!

Garfield: Treat???

Kori and Dick: No treat!

Garfield: Aww.. *Goes to hug Duke in disappointment*

Duke: *Confused as he comforts Garfield* Ok, what is happenin’?

Kori: We told you! He gets excited when he hears the word “T-R-E-A-T”!

Garfield: *Looks at both Kori and Dick* Watcha talkin’ ‘bout?

Dick: Taxes.

Garfield: Aww, shucks!

Jason: So, what? You guys treat him like a toddler?

Garfield: Treat?

Kori and Dick: NO TREAT!

Garfield: TREAT??

Kori and Dick: NO TREAT!

Garfield: TREAT???

Kori and Dick: NO TREAT!!

Garfield: Aww.

Dick: Dude, you gotta SPELL if you’re talkin’ ‘bout F-O-O-D.

Jason: Ok.. So.. Are we gettin’ a.. S-N-A-C-K?

Garfield: Snack?

*Kori and Dick groan*

Dick: Oh, c’mon!

Kori: Dude, really?

Jason: C’mon! I SPELT it!

Dick: Well, he KNOWS how to spell “snack”!

Jason: So, he can spell “snack” but can’t spell “treat”??

Garfield: Treat??

Jason: NO TREAT!

Garfield: TREAT?

Jason: NO TREAT!!

Garfield: TREAT???

Jason: NO TREAT!!!

Garfield: GOD DAMMIT!

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shiftynightshade · 9 months

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Garth: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Donna: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Garth: Three of us saw it, Donna. How do you explain that?

Donna: *points at Wally* Sleep deprivation. *points at Dick* Paranoia. *points at Roy* Delusional personality disorder.

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anothertimdrakestan · 1 year

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tim: dames you got a costume this year?

damian: ugh every year i grow older and less inclined to dressing as a silly little child

dick: *holding a pile of costumes* wait no-

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arguablysomaya · 2 years

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Donna (calling Dick, Jason, and Roy over): Come have a drink with us!

Jason (sniffing the glass Donna handed to him): Do you have any whiskey?

Karen (laughing): Whiskey? What’re you, 40? The only person I know that likes whiskey is my father

Jason: It’s the only alcohol I can tolerate. Wine makes me cry and over share my trauma, vodka makes me wild and deranged, beer makes me want to break something, and tequila makes me horny.

Everyone (stares at him in astonishment)

Jason: So what do you guys prefer?

Roy (muttering): I think tequila would be great-

Dick (scowling): He’ll have a juice. Preferably apple.

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evermoore580 · 2 months

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Boat

Starfire: *sees Beast Boy and Raven together*

Starfire: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Robin: You mean... you ship them?

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dc-and-damirae · 1 year

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batman: Where are your parents?

teen titans: What are parents?

batman: . . Alfred, call the guy.

pennyworth: no more bloody children!

robin: no. no! Bruce you can not do this to me. I want to date these people.

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is-this-fandom-who-knows · 2 years

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Cassie: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Bart: Most popular.

Kiran: Best Hair.

Amy: Most athletic.

Mia: Nicest Personality.

M'gann: Most spirited!

Wendy: Most likely to succeed.

Lorena: Life of the Party.

Eddie: Class clown!

Kara: Most likely to help a stranger.

Kit: Most likely to drop their phone in the toilet.

Jaime: Most likely to run for president on a dare.

Kon: Most likely to go viral.

Tim: Most likely to start a cult.

Rose: Most likely to start a bar fight.

Virgil: Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one.

Cassie: Well, we really covered the spread here, huh guys.

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griffle-musings · 1 month

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Garth: hey y'all! What's-

-Dick & Wally having a massive fight-

Garth: what...what's happening?

Donna & Roy: Wally and Dick are fighting.

Garth: Seriously? Wally loves Dick!

Donna: Probably should rephrase that sentence, but yeah, they've been arguing all day.

Wally: Dick I'm sorry-

Dick: I just can't believe you! I trusted you! I trusted you Wally, and this how you repay me-

Wally: She means nothing, nothing baby, I promise, I promise-

Dick: So, what, you just go to her then? As if I wasn't the one who stood by you, helped you countless nights, who saved your ass far too many times to count-

Wally: I wanted to give you a break! You were recuperating, and it was just a one time thing, Dick-

Dick: *crying* That wasn't a break, it was a betrayal.

Garth:...what are they talking about?

Donna: Wally got his taxes filed through H&R Block last year instead of Dick filing them.

Roy: And Dick just found out.

Dick: *shrilly* Does Susan balance your checkbook better then?!!

Wally: I mean it's all electronic- I mean, no,nononono- Dick you're my main accountant, my one true financial guru- you gotta believe me, Dick, baby-

Garth:

Garth: Does Linda know about this?

Donna: Given that apparently Linda threatened Wally to "not return until you get Dick to file our taxes," I'm going with yes.

Roy: I can understand her feelings. Dick gets anyone the best tax return- and he does it for free.

Wally: *on his knees now* Dick, please, come back, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-

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fromtheirtowertheycanseeitall · 1 month

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gothamgirlgayngs · 1 year

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Dick: *pointing to a picture of Kori, Babs, and Wally* These are my three Red Headed Girlfriends. and Yes, They Smoke Weed.

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