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#incorrect spider man homecoming quotes
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Peter during Homecoming: *rocks his head after looking at himself in the mirror, causing all his freshly showered curls to bounce around happily*
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MJ during Homecoming: I want to be his so bad it’s just not fair
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spideyspetertingle · 5 months
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Peter: Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good. Stark: Underoos, you CANNOT use our collective trauma to get out of school
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the-real-mj · 5 days
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*on the phone*
Mj: babe, i’m breaking up-
Peter: im pregnant
Mj: I meant the call
Peter: right, sorry. I panicked
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Tony: honestly, you’re doing a lot better than i expected
Peter: it feels like all i managed to do is… not die
Tony: and believe me, that is a remarkably rare skill
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incorrect-losers · 2 months
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Bev: You guys are losers
Eddie: Then why are you sitting with us?
Bev: Because I have no friends
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harveywritings92 · 1 year
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{Soap after watching R/n takedown a hoard of Deadmite drones (That what the monster are called) he jogs up to R/n as she goes back to her bike.]
Soap: Hey, can I be your guy in the chair?
R/n: What?
Soap: Y’know how there's a guy, with the headset, tellin’ the other guy where to go? Like... like if ya were stuck in a burning building, I could tell ya where to go, 'cause there'd be screens around me, I could swivel around them, cause I could be your guy in the chair!
R/n: You want to help me? 
Soap: Yeah.
R/n: Even though the rest of your task force wants the rider dead for what happen to Roach?
Soap: They’re still coming to terms wit’ it, But I understand why ya had to do it. He...That thing wasn’t Roach anymore. it was just a monster using his face. Soo, can I help?
[R/n think about it, then nods.]
R/n, as she tosses Soap this Hercules-beetle shape phone: there’s a bomb shelter probably like 40 yards away from my home, use that to get in...But, don’t misunderstand, this is a temporary arrangement until my partner comes back from Austria..
[Soap was shaking in his boots with excitement. until, his mind replayed what she had said.]
Soap:....Partner? Wait, Hold on! (R/n drives away.) There’s another Rider?!
{Deadmites are demonic parasites that use living or dead humans as puppets it it’s shape and size is similar to a human heart (It replaces the heart in the body.) and it can mutate the host’s bodies turning them into flesh craving monsters, Roach fell victim to one, after sustaining life threating wounds and died during a mission, for weeks no one noticed Roach’s sudden change in personality... 
Until he started acting more violent during missions and smelling bad. The mite realized it’s hosts body was starting to decay and break apart, so it went looking for a new one, it had it’s sights set on Price. luckily for the captain, R/n saved him. but unluckily for R/n. 
Ghost had assumingly witnessed the Kamen rider murder his surrogate little brother in cold blood, which put R/n’s alter ego on the 1-4-1′s shit list....]
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ironrad · 1 year
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MJ: You know how I’m like one of the three women in our Engineering class?
Ned: Yeah?
MJ: Well, I got the lowest grade on the first test.
MJ: Guess I’m the underdog now.
Peter: No, you’re the main character who still hasn’t reached her full potential.
MJ eyeing Peter skeptically:
MJ: I better also get abs in this character arc then.
Peter:
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geekynightowl1997 · 1 month
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Annabeth: *buttering toast* I'm surprised to see you at this party.
Grover & Percy: *bewilderment*
Grover: Your here too?
Annabeth: Am I? *walks away.*
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pbandjeveryday · 10 months
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Some facts:
1. MCU Peter Parker and Ned Leeds are canonically Star Wars fans
2. Peter enjoys doing impressions in his spare time (“I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN—” from Homecoming)
3. Ned’s Palpatine impression isn’t half-bad
4. Some of Spider-Man’s powers overlap with common Force abilities, specifically his spidey-sense and super strength
My conclusion:
Peter and Ned definitely act out Star Wars scenes for fun. I mean, just imagine it.
Peter: *jumps down from a rooftop* Hello there
Ned: *spinning four toy lightsabers and dropping three of them* General Kenobi
They do “I am your father” on a rooftop too, with Peter as Luke, and he falls Cloud City-style and catches himself inches before hitting the ground. He freaks out a few cats, but he and Ned think it’s awesome.
They would of course do the Yoda-Palpatine lightsaber fight. Ned frisbee-throws textbooks at Peter, who dodges them with Yoda-level acrobatics.
One time Nick Fury sees them and stares at them for a good long while. He swears he had a dream about those lightsabers once.
Every time Peter’s spidey-sense alerts him of something, Ned loves to say “he can see things before they happen, it’s a Jedi trait” in his best Liam Neeson voice.
And this would all get EVEN MORE awesome once Ned discovers his magic abilities!
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stuckysknife · 1 year
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[over the phone]
Aunt May: Just take care of yourself, okay?
Peter, taking his morning meds with YooHoo: Of course, why wouldn't I be?
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Peter: *super stressed after a test that while he did study for, it still intimidated the shit out of him*
MJ:
MJ: *sits next to him, takes his head in her hands and brings him in so he’s leaning onto her shoulder*
MJ: *then wraps one of her arms around him, and uses her other hand to take out some honey roasted peanuts that she shakes out onto a napkin, and starts feeding Peter gently*
Also MJ: *doesn’t even say a word or even look him in the eye, she just nuzzles her head into his and blows her bubble gum*
Peter: … 🥺😌 *sighs*
MJ: 😌
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spideyspetertingle · 3 months
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Aunt May: We love having you around MJ, you're welcome any time. Heck, let me give you a house key, pop in whenever! MJ: Thank you, May! Peter: ...I don't even have a house key.
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the-real-mj · 7 days
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Mj: Do you think your aunt likes me?
Peter: May literally begged you to marry me
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ir0npvrker · 2 years
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tony: i’m benching you
peter: you’re FIRING me?!
tony: no, i—
peter: I HATE YOU
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leonsgotit · 2 years
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steve: what’s going on?
peter: mr stark has a wrist brace on so we’re trying to guess how he hurt himself
clint: he wouldn’t say what happened, which could only mean one thing—
scott: he’s in a fight club
clint: what? no.
peter: he did it doing something he’s embarrassed by—like smiling! only question is, how do you hurt your wrist smiling??
tony: attention, everyone. i can hear you speculating about the nature and origin of my injury from the workshop—i have an ai who sees and hears all, remember?
avengers: uh…
tony: i tripped over an uneven sidewalk. i didn’t think it was relevant to your training—which you should be doing right now. go on.
tony, to peter: do you want to know how i ACTUALLY hurt my wrist?
peter: uh, yes??
tony: i was hula hooping.
peter:
tony: pepper and i attend a class for fitness, and for fun.
peter: oh my god
tony: i’ve mastered all the moves. *shows pictures on his phone* the pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsy doodle…
peter: why are you telling me this??
tony: because no one will ever believe you *deletes photos*
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