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batshitferalquotes · 2 years

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Tim: I think Alfred's mad at you.

Jason: What makes you say that?

Tim: Because he’s cleaning up the mess you made and asked me to deliver this to you.

Jason, reading the note: "Young Master Jason, I hope this note finds you before I do."

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ditzybat · 2 months

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bruce: he’s killed people

damian [who’s heard stephanie say this at least 10x a day]: but have you considered that maybe he’s just a teenage girl?

jason: yeah! have you considered that bruce?!

bruce: jason, you’re 22 and a male

#dc #dc comics #robin #redhood #jason todd #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batman #batfam #batbros #incorrect quotes

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fanaticalthings · 1 year

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I know Jason always calls Dick the "Golden child" and in comics tends to paint him as this unbeatable person in terms of morals/goodness in his head, which makes Jason feel inferior and not good enough..

but I think it'd be so fucking funny if instead of Jason thinking he'll never be as good as Dick, it's actually him just mocking his brother around others, because Jason 100% remembers Dick on multiple occasions offering his 12yo self weed while Bruce wasn't around, and he's the only sibling with the knowledge that Dick wasn't this "holier than thou, I make no mistakes and am perfect" child, which is why Jason keeps praising to the younger batfam members on how Dick is so perfect KNOWING that Dick was absolutely not that.

#screw the whole 'jason will always feel inferior to dick because he was so perfect' bs #give me that 'jason felt inferior to dick because he could never smoke as many blunts as him and not pass out'#jason todd #dick grayson #redhood #nightwing #batbros #batfam #batfamily #dc comics #incorrect dc quotes #crack #fanatical posting

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qcomicsy · 1 year

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Phrases I bet were said on the Batcave without context.

Duke: So you had enough time to put a dinosaur here but not to cover the endless pit of death?

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Babs (To Dick in the Batman suit): Do not kiss me wearing that it freaks me out.

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Jason: Okay. Got it you have a plan. Great. But before we all follow it I have to ask– is that a fucking cow?

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Damian: I admit. I haven't misplanned how to get Batcow out of the cave.

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Alfred: Master Bruce there's a lot of courage in trying to tell me how to take care of the kid you won't clean up after.

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Tim (to the Jason's memorial): Stop looking at me like that.

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Jason (to the Jason's memorial): Stop looking at me like that.

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Superman (first time there): You know I'm not surprised.

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Bruce (In the middle of a video call with the Justice league and hearing the loudest argument from upstairs): Give me a second.

Bruce: DO NOT MAKE ME GO UP THERE

Silence.

Bruce: As I was saying–

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13 year old Tim: Okay, hear me out– That might sound a little crazy. But what about. . . pants. Same thing, same suit, but with pants

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Bruce (being paranoid): I'm not being paranoid.

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Jason, looking at the Batcomputer: Ever tried to run GTA on this thing?

Tim: You are a danger to society,

Tim: And a coward. Try Skyrim.

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20 something Nightwing visiting: Why are you awake?

15 year old Jason: Why are you dressed as the lost member of the village people?

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Batman: I thought you were on a family vacation.

13 year old Tim: So did my parents– Look at what I found on the Two-Face case.

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foolilazuli · 6 months

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Roy: Agent Foxy approaching the site, Operation ‘Sleepy Time’ commencing, over

Jason: Roy, stop playing with the baby monitor, over

#dc comics #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #batman #batfamily #batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #jason todd #redhood #roy harper #arsenal #red arrow #jayroy #royjay

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soulsforsales · 6 months

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Imagine being the eldest one in a family of deeply traumatized people who wear costumes and kick the shit out of criminals at night.

Just imagine

Dick Grayson has my utmost respect, that guy is keeping up with all the shit

Thankyou for coming to my Ted talk

#batfamily #batfam #funny #dick grayson #nightwing #redhood #jason todd #damianwayne #incorrect batfamily quotes #tim drake #bruce wayne #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #alfred pennyworth #duke thomas #literally the whole family

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dickgraysonmybeloved · 3 months

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Jason: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder. Jason: *glares at Bruce* Bruce, throwing his hands up: Well, sorry I have morals!

#dc comics #dc #dc universe #dcu #incorrect quote gen #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batman #redhood #red hood #jason todd #bruce wayne

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wwrenwrites · 5 months

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**Y/N entering the bathroom where Jason is showering**

Y/N: Jason name a woman

Jason: Fiona from Shrek

Y/N:

Jason: Why?

**Y/N wheezing walking out of the bathroom**

Jason: Why??

#starting a fight with the boyfriend trend #both of you binged the movies a week before #jason todd #redhood #you were definitely expecting something else #y/n: … Valid #jason todd x reader #y/n doing tiktok trends to her jason-no-social-media-boyfriend #redhood x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd incorrect quotes #dc comics #dc incorrect quotes #batbros

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damianwayne0 · 4 months

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Y/n, bored at an random justice league meeting looking at Damian across the table: Are you my homework? Because I wanna do you .

Damian , blushing: ....

Dick: 👁️👄👁️

Tim:👁️👄👁️

Jason:👁️👄👁️

Teentitans:👁️👄👁️

Justice league:👁️👄👁️

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bruciemilf · 2 years

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Dick: You're Bruce's favorite, you know that, right?

Jason: I am LITERALLY not, but okay.

Dick: Yeah? Call him a bitch right now.

Jason: Wha- I don't, - I don't feel like it

Dick: Chicken?

Jason: I- Fine. Hey, B! In case you forgot, you're a bitch!

Bruce, reading the newspaper, only glaring a little bit: Hn.

Dick: Okay. Hey, B? You're kind of a jerk.

Bruce, immediately standing up: What did you say, Richard John Grayson?!

#jason was literally the younger sibling for a time and logically the person he'd have the most beef with would be damian not tim #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #batman #nightwing #redhood #batfamily #batkids #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #batdad #text #text post

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batshitferalquotes · 2 years

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Jason: *sends a voice message*

Bruce, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent?

Jason: Oh don't worry about it!

[later]

Bruce: *presses play*

Jason's recorded message: BRUCE, THERE'S A F*CKING FIRE IN THE MANOR AND–

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ostentums · 2 months

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Bruce: so you lied to me?

Jason: that depends how you define lying.

Bruce: i define it as not telling the whole truth. how do you define it?

Jason: reclining... your body... in a horizontal position?

#batman #jason todd #batfam #bruce wayne #incorrect batfamily quotes #source: teen wolf #redhood

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gothamundernightlight · 11 months

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Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Jason: Hey, Damian, can I borrow your knife real quick?

Damian: That will depend on what you are cutting.

Jason: Wh…why would that depend on what I’m cutting?

Damian: Because I need to know which knife to give you.

Jason: Which knife? Damian, how many knives do you have on you?

Damian: A lot. Now…what are you cutting?

#incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect justice league quotes #dc comics #batman #batman & robin #robin #justice league #batfamily #jason todd #damian wayne #damian al ghul #red hood #redhood #batfam #source: tiktok

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qcomicsy · 1 year

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The office but it's just the Batfamily.

Batman/Bruce, in the middle of a huge argument in the diner room: I have no favorites.

Batman (to the camera): My favorite is Cass. She can neutralize every single one of us.

Camera on cass eating a bagel, while Bruce narrates: And I respect that.

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Duke: Cass.

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Cass: Duke.

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Steph: Cassie!

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Selina: You know who it is.

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Jason (to the camera): Dick? Oh that's so fucking easy it's the gremilin

Tim (To the camera): It's the gremlin.

Oracle/Babs (To the camera): Damian.

Steph: Evil child.

Damian: Me.

Dick as nightwing in a rooftop walking around with his hands: Oh my god, I can't belive you even asked me this??! We are all a big ass family and- We just keep going, like there's so many people here who I never saw before snd they just *poof* keep spalming and- Like cmon guys get a grip-

Dick (To the camera): *sight*

Dick:... It's Damian.

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Jason (To the camera) without batting an eye: Tim.

Cameraman: I'm sorry- *checks notes* I'm confused... Didn't you to- Tried. to kill Tim Drake once?

Jason:

Jason: So?

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Tim (To the camera): I feel like I should say Bruce....

Tim: I mean it needs to be someone I admire, respect, enjoy and stand up for despite all flaws.

Tim: Like despite every single wrongs right?

Tim:

Tim, horrofied: Oh my god it's Jason.

Jason on the other side of the window behind Tim wearing a full Red-Hood atire and holding a cellphone gen 1: HA-HA.

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Alfred (to the camera): It's not Master Bruce.

Bruce: Alfred? Definitely not me.

Dick: It's Bruce.

Alfred (to the camera): You don't raise as many children as the fate bring to your doorstep by yourself, take care of their wounds, wait for them in a cold night without getting any type of rest until you receive a single sign indicating that they got home safe and then get the luxury to choose.

Alfred (To the camera): I wouldn't even consider the luxury of choosing.

Alfred, serving tea at the dinner table: You all made my hair go gray equally.

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Babs (To the camera): Me.

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Damian: This is ridiculous, obviously I would pick my father.

Damian to the camera: Nightwing.

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Harley: I'm not even sure how y'all let me be part of this.

Camera man: We didn't-

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Commissioner Gordon ( To the camera): If I'm being honest I feel like I resent every single one of them.

Commissioner Gordon: Except of course, my daughter.

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red-hoods-left-sock · 1 year

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Red robin: I just got attacked by a random giant rat in the sewer

Redhood: master splinter giving into his instincts

Robin: why were you in the sewer

Batman: why was there a giant rat in the sewer

#DC comics #Batman #red robin #Redhood #robin #Damian Wayne #Jason Todd #Timothy drake #Tim drake #Bruce Wayne #incorrect quotes

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soulsforsales · 6 months

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Damian *to Dick*: I think I'm in love with Raven Dick: Damian: thoughts? Jason: and prayers

#jasontodd #redhood #batfamily #batfam #damianwayne #incorrect batfamily quotes #raven #damirae #dick grayson #nightwing #robin #rachel roth #batboys #incorrect batboys quotes #dc #funny #dc universe

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