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#incorrect quotes obey me
gr8mammon · 1 year
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Mammon: I LOST MY WIFE HAVE YOU SEEN HER?!
Random demon: What does she look like?
Mammon, crying: BEAUTIFUL.
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nex-ture · 2 months
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Obey Me as things people have said in Discord
Asmodeus: I thought that was a fleshlight..
Satan: That looks nothing like a flashlight.
Asmodeus: I said flesh
Satan: What's a fleshlight
Satan: oh
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maj-3k · 1 year
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Y.N: How drunk I was yesterday?
Lucifer: You tried to exorcise Mammon.
Y.N: I did it?
Lucifer: Unfortunately, you passed out before you did
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highwaytcheaven · 11 months
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[At MC's funeral]
Mammon: Look, can I have a moment with them?
Mammon (to MC): Alright, listen fucker. I know you're not actually dead.
MC: *opens eyes* yEAH NO SHIT
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7deadlymorons · 8 months
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asmodeus: if you add 'uwu' at the end of a sentence it makes it cuter~
thirteen: you're right uwu
luke: yes uwu
belphegor: I'm going to kill all of you uwu
MC: don't uwu
mammon: fuck you uwu
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lucidreamer-uwu · 2 years
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Lucifer: MAAAMMMOOOONNNNN!
Mammon: It was an accident! I didn't mean to sell it, I swear!
Lucifer: Sorry, autocorrect.
Mammon: ...
Lucifer: What did you sell this time?
Mammon: Nothin'!
Lucifer: MAAAMMMOOOONNNNN!
Mammon: That dang autocorrect, am I right? (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠;)
Lucifer: 🔪🪢🪢
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onyxzenithart · 2 years
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Beel: Hey Lucifer, you look tired. Is something the matter?
Lucifer: You could say so. I'm not feeling too well.
Beel: What's wrong?
Lucifer: I have this headache that comes and goes and it's driving me insane.
*Mammon enters the room*
Lucifer, sighing: There it is again.
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Mc: Hey, dumb slut, get over here.
Mammon, sighing: Okay-
Asmo: I'm coming!
Mammon, confused: I thought... I was dumb slut...
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anintrovertedechoe · 11 months
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Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk
the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:
MC: it was me.
Lucifer: what.
MC: it was me.
Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????
MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore
Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun
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tsukii0002 · 5 months
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Mammon: Demons do not feel guilt, that is only for humans and angels.
Solomon: ... *grinning* Remember that cake you ate the other day?
Mammon: Yeah.
Beel: It was delicious
Levi: An Ur+ ranked cake.
Solomon: It was Mc's
Mammon: ...
Beel: ...
Levi: ...
Solomon: They had been working for two weeks to be able to buy it because it was an ultra-exclusive promotion.
Mammon: What-
Solomon: They came home tired every day from work and attending to your selfish needs… all so they could share that cake with everyone *falsely tearing*
Mammon: *crying* I'm a monster!!!
Beel: *sobing* WE are monster!
Levi: *balled up in a corner*
Mc enters the room and sees the brothers crying.
Mc: What have you done?
Solomon: Me? nothing :D
Mc: Don't tell me you are surprised when people tell you that you are more demon than human.
.
.
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gr8mammon · 1 year
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Dia: I’m cold.
Lucifer: Here, take my jacket
MC: Mammon, I’m cold too.
Mammon: What?! *taking off his jacket* I told you to bring more layers but of course you didn’t listen, dumb human, and now *piling scarves on them* now look, I’ve got to make sure you don’t FREEZE to death and *taking somebody else’s hat* how long have you been cold? You should’ve said something sooner!
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nex-ture · 10 months
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Obey Me as things people have said in Discord
Part 31
MC: Wish I was riding you tbh.
Mammon: What
MC: What
Mammon: Who said that
MC: Who said that
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maj-3k · 1 year
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One of the brothers bullying Luke
Y.N (on the other end of devildom): My child needs me!!!
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l3viat8an · 1 year
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*In nightbringer*
Asmo: Do you realise there's a rumour going around that you're in love with MC?
Solomon: A rumour? Are you telling me people are doubting it????
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highwaytcheaven · 11 months
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Beel, still awake at 3am: If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, you are a chicken tender.
Belphie, eyes wide staring up at the ceiling:
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7deadlymorons · 1 year
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mc: when I die,my tomb won't say RIP it will say VIP
teenager luke: yeah because those demons have a special place saved for you in hell.
mc: yes,the throne.
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