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gr8mammon · 1 year

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Mammon: I LOST MY WIFE HAVE YOU SEEN HER?!

Random demon: What does she look like?

Mammon, crying: BEAUTIFUL.

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nex-ture · 2 months

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Obey Me as things people have said in Discord

Asmodeus: I thought that was a fleshlight..

Satan: That looks nothing like a flashlight.

Asmodeus: I said flesh

Satan: What's a fleshlight

Satan: oh

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maj-3k · 1 year

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Y.N: How drunk I was yesterday?

Lucifer: You tried to exorcise Mammon.

Y.N: I did it?

Lucifer: Unfortunately, you passed out before you did

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highwaytcheaven · 11 months

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[At MC's funeral]

Mammon: Look, can I have a moment with them?

Mammon (to MC): Alright, listen fucker. I know you're not actually dead.

MC: *opens eyes* yEAH NO SHIT

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7deadlymorons · 8 months

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asmodeus: if you add 'uwu' at the end of a sentence it makes it cuter~

thirteen: you're right uwu

luke: yes uwu

belphegor: I'm going to kill all of you uwu

MC: don't uwu

mammon: fuck you uwu

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lucidreamer-uwu · 2 years

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Lucifer: MAAAMMMOOOONNNNN!

Mammon: It was an accident! I didn't mean to sell it, I swear!

Lucifer: Sorry, autocorrect.

Mammon: ...

Lucifer: What did you sell this time?

Mammon: Nothin'!

Lucifer: MAAAMMMOOOONNNNN!

Mammon: That dang autocorrect, am I right? (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠;)

Lucifer: 🔪🪢🪢

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onyxzenithart · 2 years

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Beel: Hey Lucifer, you look tired. Is something the matter?

Lucifer: You could say so. I'm not feeling too well.

Beel: What's wrong?

Lucifer: I have this headache that comes and goes and it's driving me insane.

*Mammon enters the room*

Lucifer, sighing: There it is again.

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kpop-otome-yandere-here · 5 months

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Mc: Hey, dumb slut, get over here.

Mammon, sighing: Okay-

Asmo: I'm coming!

Mammon, confused: I thought... I was dumb slut...

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anintrovertedechoe · 11 months

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Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk

the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: what.

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????

MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore

Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun

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tsukii0002 · 5 months

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Mammon: Demons do not feel guilt, that is only for humans and angels.

Solomon: ... *grinning* Remember that cake you ate the other day?

Mammon: Yeah.

Beel: It was delicious

Levi: An Ur+ ranked cake.

Solomon: It was Mc's

Mammon: ...

Beel: ...

Levi: ...

Solomon: They had been working for two weeks to be able to buy it because it was an ultra-exclusive promotion.

Mammon: What-

Solomon: They came home tired every day from work and attending to your selfish needs… all so they could share that cake with everyone *falsely tearing*

Mammon: *crying* I'm a monster!!!

Beel: *sobing* WE are monster!

Levi: *balled up in a corner*

Mc enters the room and sees the brothers crying.

Mc: What have you done?

Solomon: Me? nothing :D

Mc: Don't tell me you are surprised when people tell you that you are more demon than human.

.

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gr8mammon · 1 year

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Dia: I’m cold.

Lucifer: Here, take my jacket

MC: Mammon, I’m cold too.

Mammon: What?! *taking off his jacket* I told you to bring more layers but of course you didn’t listen, dumb human, and now *piling scarves on them* now look, I’ve got to make sure you don’t FREEZE to death and *taking somebody else’s hat* how long have you been cold? You should’ve said something sooner!

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nex-ture · 10 months

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Obey Me as things people have said in Discord

Part 31

MC: Wish I was riding you tbh.

Mammon: What

MC: What

Mammon: Who said that

MC: Who said that

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maj-3k · 1 year

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One of the brothers bullying Luke

Y.N (on the other end of devildom): My child needs me!!!

#Obey me x reader #Obey me x male reader #male y/n #Y/n #NB y/n #incorrect quotes y/n #Incorrect quotes obey me #male reader #reader #incorrect quotes

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l3viat8an · 1 year

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*In nightbringer*

Asmo: Do you realise there's a rumour going around that you're in love with MC?

Solomon: A rumour? Are you telling me people are doubting it????

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highwaytcheaven · 11 months

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Beel, still awake at 3am: If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, you are a chicken tender.

Belphie, eyes wide staring up at the ceiling:

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7deadlymorons · 1 year

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mc: when I die,my tomb won't say RIP it will say VIP

teenager luke: yeah because those demons have a special place saved for you in hell.

mc: yes,the throne.

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