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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason (Age 12): I’m not gonna die from inhaling cigarette smoke, quit worrying, B.

Jason (Age 15): *dies from smoke inhalation*

Jason (Age 19): Well, it wasn’t the cigarettes.

#i find it darkly funny that people probably told Jason smoking would kill him #and then he died from smoke inhalation #irony i guess?#incorrect batman quotes #batman #dc comics #dc #dcu #jason todd #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #batfam #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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batfamilycannons · 2 months

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Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?

Damian and Tim: tf??

Tim: uh I think Jason’s in the library?

Bruce: no not him the other one

Dick, *scurries past the door*

Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire

Dick: You deserve it!!

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vodrae · 4 months

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Villain swaps Bruce and Clark minds.

Bruce: I get the "man of steel" now. *Punches villain*

Clark: Why...Why...WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH IN PAIN ?!

Bruce: What do you mean ? I took a 12 hours break yesterday, I'm as fresh as a newborn.

#batman #batfamily #batfam #dc comics #dc #dcu #bruce wayne #superbat #clark ken #superman #justice league headcanon #justice league #batman incorrect quotes #superman incorrect quotes #batman headcanon

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sodamnbored · 17 days

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Damian, entering the living room: Oh, Drake. I didn’t realise you were here too.

Tim, distracted on his phone on the couch: Yeah, best WiFi around. Keeping busy?

Damian, looking in cupboards and chandeliers for acrobatic older brothers: Looking for Dick.

Tim absently, not looking up from Grindr: Mm, me too.

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headcanonthings · 8 months

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Tim: You know archaic Latin? Jason: I got bored with classical Latin. Tim: You know normal Latin? Jason: Yeah someone from my knitting club taught me. Tim: YOU HAVE A KNITTING CLUB? Jason: You don't know everything about me Replacement. Now do you want a sweater or a scarf?

#jason basically just asking tim to pick back up his stalking hobbie #incorrect quotes #incorrect dcu quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #dcu #batman #batfamily #tim drake #red robin dc #jason todd #red hood

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hello-eden · 25 days

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Favorite

Jason:Everyone knows demon brats favorite sibling is Golden Boy

Tim: it's kind of obvious

Dick: hey Damien who's your favorite

Damian: Stephanie

Dick:What

Tim: this was unexpected

Jason: why is she your favorite demon brat

Damian: she turns the other way when I get a new animal and sometimes even helps.

Stephanie: I don't live here, I don't have to deal with it.

#jason todd #tim drake #batman #red hood #batfam #batfamily #damian wayne #stephanie brown #incorrect dcu quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes

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iwannabealice · 2 months

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clark: i met this boy last night that seemed to really hate you

bruce: that could be anyone, what did he look like?

clark: tall, white, dark hair, really big-

bruce: ah, that’d be jason. my son

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thedevilundercover · 2 months

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Jason: How old are you actually, Timberlina?

Tim, thinking about it:… do you mean physically, mentally, or the amount of years I have been in existence

Damian, unapologetically eavesdropping: TT, what are you going in about drake

Jason: uhh the amount of years you’ve been in existence?

Tim: 35 years

Jason:

Damian:

The entire Batfam:

everyone: what the fuck tim?

#Guys #Tim appeared in 1989 #35 years in existence but still 17 smh #tim drake #red robin #jason todd #red hood #batman #bruce wayne #batfam #damian wayne #dc robin #dcu #dc incorrect quotes

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dickgraysonmybeloved · 3 months

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Jason, eating cereal: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. Tim, who walked out of his bedroom in his house into his kitchen: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

#jason todd #tim drake #dc #dc comics #dcu #dc universe #incorrect quote gen #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect batman quotes

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vixfern · 3 months

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Bruce: So what's for dinner?

Clark: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Is it soup?

Clark: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Bruce: Please, Clark, enough with the soup puns.

Clark: Wow, you're soup-per mean.

Bruce: STOP!

*one hour later*

Bruce: It's fucking tacos?!?!?!

#batman #dc #batfam #batfamily #dc comics #dcu #bruce wayne #Clark Kent #Superman #soup puns #funny #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #Superbat #bruce wayne x clark kent #bruce x clark #superman x batman #incorrect Superbat quotes

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fleur-dans-la-nuit · 2 months

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Jason, to Bruce: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

Dick, smirking: Yeah, now that you mentioned it, I noticed that too

Bruce: …

Bruce: I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

Tim: *Loudly sips tea from a bowl*

#incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc universe #dc robin #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #tim drake #bat brothers #bat boys #batfam #bat family #bat fam #dcu

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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

#batman #incorrect batman quotes #dc comics #dc #dcu #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #damian wayne #barbara gordon #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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arguablysomaya · 4 months

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failed step one

#batfam #dc universe #dcu #batman #batfamily #jason todd #batfam memes #DC comics #dc #DC Universe #incorrect dcu #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batkids #1k #5k

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batfamilycannons · 4 months

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Dick*the eldest daughter reaching a breaking point and it was this or manslaughter*: Due to my emotional trauma, I have decided I will be reverting back to my childhood Goblin lifestyle

Jason*always one for chaos*: Good for you

Bruce*traumatized from the first time not sure if he can survive a pt.2*: oh no

Tim*never left his Menace Lifestyle and is very exited to help cause more problems*: yay!

Bruce*even more scared*: oh no

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kimjun · 4 months

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YN: When I said "Bring me back something from the beach" I meant, like, a seashell.

Jason, struggling to hold a seagull: Well, you didn't fucking say that.

#reader insert #incorrect quotes #x reader #dc x y/n #jason todd x reader #dcu #dick grayson #damian wayne #jason x reader #incorrect dc quotes #dc x reader #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam x reader #batfamily #jason todd smut

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headcanonthings · 4 months

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Clark: *Laying face down on the floor* Lois: So Bruce said he liked you? Clark, muffled: Yeah Diana: ...and you asked him to marry you? Clark: Yeah Lois: Oh shit. How did he react? Clark: Dunno, I ran before I could scare him even more *Meanwhile* Bruce, kicking in the door to the Manor: Kids, Alfred! Holy shit I'm gonna get married!

#incorrect quotes #incorrect dcu quotes #incorrect superbat quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect superman quotes #dcu #clark kent #kal-el #superman #lois lane #diana prince #wonderwoman #bruce wayne #batman #alfred pennyworth #batkids #superbat

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