Odin: There’s a thin line between being a genius and being a fucking idiot.
Frigg: Loki uses that line as a skipping rope.
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Ares: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
Tyr: Which came first, the orange or the orange?
Athena: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago.
Neit: What was the color called before then?
Bellona: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!
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Loki: *running into the room* Sigyn just said she doesn't love me anymore!
Odin: What?!
Sigyn: *following them in* I did not say that. I just said that we are not driving all the way across yggdrasil just so you can punch Baldr in the face.
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When you read about Hermod the Norse Messenger, loyal to Odin, knowing about Hermes the Greek Messenger, loyal to Zeus, and suddenly you realize the same motherf*cker (affectionately 😊) worked for two Gods and fooled them all the time.
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Loki: Woah, look, Angrboda! Mistletoe! You know what we must do, right?
Angrboda: *sighs* Just one time only
Angrboda: *lifts him to pick the mistletoe*
Loki: *slaps Baldr with it*
Baldr: WHY do every time finding a mistletoe you do this shit?!!
Loki: lmao
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Cop: sit on that chair, this is an interrogation
Sigyn, whispering: deny everything
Loki confidently: that isn’t a chair
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Loki: imma be real with you guys!
Something that just don’t sit right with me is the word “authority” for some reason it has Thors name in it
And I don’t like that very fuckin much .
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Aphrodite: Wait, so you are a goddess of love and beauty too.
Freya: Yeah, I am also a goddess of fertility.
Aphrodite: Me too!
Freya: Uh, I'm also the Goddess of sex.
Aphrodite: Me too!
Freya: ...
Freya: I'm also the Goddess of War.
Aphrodite: ...
Aphrodite: *Pulls out Spear* ME TOO!!!
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Loki: would I lie to you?
Thor: yes.
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Loki: Why is helping someone bury a body the standard for true friendship?
Odin: It's just a saying that you're in it together no matter what.
Loki: I'm all for that. I'll hide evidence, bribe people, lie to whoever I need to but I am not digging a hole in the ground.
Odin: Why is that the one you won't do?
Loki: Too much work. Sounds exhausting.
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Apollo: If I fall…
Surya: I’ll be there to catch you.
Lugh: *looks at Sol* What if I fall?
Sol: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.
Huitzilopochtli: *watches these two interactions*
Huitzilopochtli, to Ra: And if I fall?
Ra: I’ll be the one who pushed you.
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Loki: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Sygn: AS ENEMIES?!
Loki: ...
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Loki: Don’t preach to me about romance, Sif. I had a three-way in a space shuttle.
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Loki: on a scale of 1 to 10, how annoyed with me are you right now?
Odin: 8
Loki: i can do better than that
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The Bifrost Incident (2017) by The Mechanisms
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