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#incorrect myth
mtolympusmemes · 1 year
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Artemis: Ladies, it's time to stop "weaponizing" your looks and time to start wearing actual weapons. Forget winging your eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man and invest in some steel toed boots
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Hera: I have named the three little snakes I found in my garden after you three brothers of mine
Poseidon: that’s so ni-
Hera: their names are Bastard, Bitch, and Bore
Zeus:
Poseidon:
Hades:
Zeus: please tell me which one I am. I might cry if I’m Bore
Hera: you’re Bastard, Poseidon is Bitch, and Hades, well, no offense…
Zeus: YES!!
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bruciemilf · 7 months
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Matt Reeves has the potential to give us the funniest comedic duo with Martinez and Bruce.
Martinez, bored out of his mind, sipping on his Barbie ice coffee: Gun to your head, would you rather kiss Joker or Riddler?
Bruce, who wanted a barbie drink too but was too awkward to order: Gun to my head? Pull the trigger
Martinez: wh E E Z E
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Arthur: I’ve wanted to be a trophy wife since I was a little boy.
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athenas-sw0rd · 9 months
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Agamemnon: I never considered you a rival.
Achilles: I never considered you at all.
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thaliasthunder · 1 year
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odysseus: men with long hair are such sluts. what do u have long hair for? for other men to pull it?
achilles: wha
odysseus: whore.
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lenaleviosa · 10 months
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Greek soldier: “I’m sorry Patroclus, but you’re banned from working in the infirmary”
Patroclus: “What? Why?”
Soldier: “It’s Achilles. We can’t have him getting hurt every day just to come see you. He’s our best soldier you know”
Patroclus: “That’s not - I mean yeah, he’s an idiot, but you can’t just -“
Achilles: *walking in, dramatically limping* “Help me Patroclus! My left toe is bleeding!”
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braxix · 3 months
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Elrond: Do you know what a siren is?
Galadriel: ...No.
Elrond: Supposedly it is a creature that sings by the sea and lures sailors into the depths to drown.
Galadriel: Dammit, Maglor.
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h0bg0blin-meat · 5 months
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Ares: I just stubbed my toe.
Ares: But did I cry like a baby?
Ares: Of course not.
Ares: A baby don't have the lung capacity for the sound I just made.
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linktenbooks · 1 year
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Achilles, thinking: Wow Patroclus is so graceful and beautiful
[Patroclus, trips and falls over his own feet]
Achilles: gorgeous
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whitevesper · 1 year
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[achilles teaching patroclus to drive]
achilles: you’re driving and suddenly you see clytemnestra and agamemnon walk into the road. what do you hit?
patroclus: the brakes obviously
achilles: wrong. agamemnon. you should always hit agamemnon.
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mtolympusmemes · 10 months
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Hermes, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Artemis: You did WHAT– Apollo: William Snakepeare
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Ares: aye Heph wanna hear a joke??
Hephaestus: why are you asking me whether or not I can clearly hear you??
Ares:
Ares: MOMMM! Heph just called me a joke!!
Hera: Hephaestus! That isn’t very nice
Hephaestus: why? you should be proud that Ares is a joke…he’s the biggest one you’ve ever made
Hera:
Hera: ZEUS COME GET YOUR SON
Zeus: he’s not my son. you made him yourself. you deal with him.
Hephaestus, smirking: I am unbeatable
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princessofopus · 1 year
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“Patrochilles is real,” I say into the mic, the crowd boos. I begin to walk off the stage in shame. “No, she’s right!” I hear a voice in the back say. The lights come on. It's Alexander the Great.
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sungodra · 1 year
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Achilles: Go big or go home!
Patroclus, with tears in his eyes: I'm begging you, Achilles, for once in your life, please, just this once, go home
Achilles: I'm going big
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athenas-sw0rd · 8 months
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Achilles: So what’s your type?
Patroclus: Blue eyes, prideful, strong, oblivious, blonde hair.
Achilles: Kinda sounds like me. Too bad we’re just friends.
Patroclus: ..did I mention oblivious?
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