Vigilante Izuku, climbing in through the window after patrol: Ok, so, I did get hit by a bullet, but-

Aizawa: YOU WERE SHOT???

Vigilante Izuku, sarcastically: No, someone threw a bullet at me

Vigilante Izuku: oF COURSE I WAS SHOT.

Dabi: Im a great brother

Shoto: Youve tried to kill me several times

Dabi: Ive changed

Shoto: Yeah. Youre worse now

Kaminari: hey bakugou! what are you listening to?

Bakugou, fnaf music blasting in his ears: uh

Bakugou: just some rock band, you probably haven't heard of them

Mic: Aizawa's been havin' a hard time getting around since losing his leg. Mic: SO, to cheer him up I got him a cool present! Mic: IT'S A SWORD CANE!! Mic: BUT, I did tell him... he CANNOT use it to chop off his other leg! Mic:I said if you do that, I'm tying you up & NEVER letting you leave the apartment again! Best Jeanist: Man, I know he's into dark humor but isn't that going a bit far? Mic: Nah, He said it'd be an interesting change of pace since I'm usually the one that gets tied up- Best Jeanist: EXCUSE ME???? Mic: I MEAN-- YA KNOW DURING OUR SPARRING MATCHES... with his capture weapon!?? Best Jeanist: Oh, of course! Mic: *sweats nervously*

Day Hundred Fifty Five of getting people interested in my fanfic with incorrect quotes

Hiva, who got kidnapped: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Tenya: Several traffic violations.

Eijiro: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Momo: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks and a tracker.

Shoto: Midoriya and Bakugo’s rage at the villains’ audacity fueled us.

*Izuku and Katsuki vibrating in the background*

Shoto: Also, that’s not our car.

Aizawa: Father's Day is just a ploy made by capitalist in order to increase revenue by building sentiment over a relationship which will only bring you pain and abandonm-

Eri: i made you a card! :D

Aizawa, tearing up: you did?

Deku: *does something stupid and gets himself hurt*

Kacchan: After i lovingly nurse you back to health, i’m going to FUCKING KILL YOU, LITTLE PIECE OF-

Deku, in mind: Kacchan is so cute when he's worried

All Might: What are you made of?

Izuku: Katsudon and poor choices.

BNHA Incorrect quotes #2 EGG-celent

UA Secretary+Assistant Quirkless Y/n...

Secretary!Y/n*Currently looking for a therapist for 1-A in their spare time in your desk*...better make sure to look for one who specializes in anger management for the little chihuahua-

Aizawa*Coming in*Y/n i need the-

Secretary!Y/n*Handing him the freshly printed test sheets*

Aizawa*Blinks and hums taking it*oh also didn't have chance to-

Secretary!Y/n*Already handing him a thermo with fresh coffee with a still warm breakfast egg sandwich in the shape of a cat face, not even looking away from the screen*

Aizawa*Grabbing the breakfast and looking at you*...Marry me?

Secretary!Y/n: I took care of that too, We've been married for the last 7 years~

Aizawa*Sipping his coffee with a hum and slight smirk*Excelent...

Aizawa: So from what I’ve been told, the body swap quirk will last about a day or two.

Izuku, in Bakugo’s body: Well, that’s not too long.

Bakugo, in Izuku’s body: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, NERD!

Aizawa: Just calm down, do you two have any advice for each other to avoid any issues?

Bakugo: Tch, stay away from hot places, nerd. You’ll make my quirk go off by accident.

Izuku: Uhhh, oh. If you hear seven dead people talking to you at night, just ignore them.

Aizawa and Bakugo:

Bakugo: What?

Izuku: Ochaco is losing a lot of blood, what’s her blood type?! Tsuyu: B positive Izuku: I’M TRYING BUT SHE’S LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD

Bakugou: has anyone seen my hot sauce? I left it out earlier and now I can't find it

Kaminari, screaming: I THOUGHT IT WAS KETCHUP AND DIPPED MY FRIES INTO IT AND NOW I FEEL LIKE BOILING WATER WAS POURED INTO MY MOUTH

Mic: hey, why wasn't Baukgo in class today?

Aizawa: He got another 3 day detention.

Mic: Ok, but what did he do??

Bakugo:

Day Hundred Forty Six of getting people interested in my fanfic with incorrect quotes

Hitoshi: *screams*

Hiva: *screams louder to assert dominance*

Shota: Should we do something?

Hizashi: Hold my beer. Imma own these kids.

Eri: *gets a papercut*

Aizawa, who had single-handedly fought a nomu, lost an eye, and a leg:

Aizawa, tearing up: DEAR GOD, hasn’t she been through enough

Deku: I will now torture you, Kacchan!

Kacchan, smirking: Kinky

Deku: I think you are kind and beautiful

Kacchan, tensing: Wait wha-

Deku, eyes are full of determination: You deserve to be cared for

Kacchan, backing up: No

Deku: Your feelings and needs are valid and deserve to be heard

Kacchan: SHUT THE HELL UP

Deku: YOU SHUT THE HELL UP! I LOVE YOU, KACCHAN