Yelena: Why don't you shut the fuck up before I slit your throat and watch the honour roll out.
Kate: Are you threatening me?
Yelena: No?? I'm flirting with you.
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(Mid of a mission)
*Kate calling*
Yelena answering: Peter's listening, don't say anything that will get him excluded from our next movie screening.
Kate: Pet, what do you think we're doing?
Peter: I don't know. Something like nerd and idiot apparently.
Kate perplexed: She thinks I'm a nerd and an idiot?
Peter: Don't worry. She's into it, every time something geeky comes out of your mouth she seems to want to sit on your face immediately.
Yelena rolls her eyes: We're still on a mission.
Kate: That doesn't mean that truths shouldn't be told.
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Y/N: I don’t even flirt that much.
Yelena: Oh really? *stands up* Raise your hands if you think you’re dating Y/N.
Natasha: *raises hand*
Wanda: *raises hand*
Shuri: *raises hand*
Kate: *raises hand*
Yelena, side eyeing violently: Kate Bishop, what was that?
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Kate: *Banging a pen against a table*
Yelena: Oh my god Kate Bishop! Would you stop? How would you like it if I banged you against the table?
Kate:...
Kate:...I...don't know the correct answer to that question.
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Kate: You know, Natasha gives Y/N flowers everyday. I wish you'd do that too.
Yelena: Okay.
*later*
Yelena: *gives Y/N flowers*
Y/N: ???
Yelena: I don't know, I'm confused as well.
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Kate: (under her breath) Future wife says, "what?"
Yelena: What?
Kate: (screeches)
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Yelena: Are you mad at me?
Kate: I’m mad at you!
Yelena: How long are you going to be mad at me?
Kate: Ten minutes!
Yelena: Oh come on!
Kate: Do you want to make it fifteen?!
Yelena: *pouts and crosses her arms*
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*origin of Kate becoming Yelena’s personal seat*
Yelena, looking around at all the empty seats: may I sit here?
Kate, looking around: here?
Yelena:…
Kate, pointing to herself: this is my lap.
Yelena:…
Kate:…
Yelena: that did not answer my question, Kate Bishop. May I sit there?
Kate, nodding: you may.
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Peter to Yelena: Oh wow, that vest looks great! And I bet it will look even better on Kate's floor.
Kate: Are you hitting on Yelena... for me?
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Nat: Yelena cut her hair
Clint: (holding up his constantly vibrating phone) I know
Nat: How's Bishop taking it?
Clint: (sighs and reads from his phone in a monotonous voice) She cut her hair, Clint she just cut her hair. She didn't even say anything, she just did it. Oh my god. She is so hot. She's hotter now. Almost too hot. How did I manage to convince her to date me? She is way too good looking, it should be a crime. Is it a crime?
Nat: Oh so-
Clint: (continuing) She's already got the perfect style figured out too. I'm dizzy, can you get dizzy from this? Because I am. Oh my god, I can't look at her without blushing.
Clint: (flashing the screen) Then she sent a bunch of gifs of people screaming
Nat: (nods, holding up her phone) Yelena texted me
Clint: What did she say?
Nat: (reading from the phone) My new hair has made Kate Bishop go brain stupid. It is very funny, you should come see her.
They share a look before shrugging and getting off the couch
Clint: It's been a slow day anyway
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You can sigh supplics, you know she likes it
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Yelena: It’s really frustrating.
Kate: What is it?
Yelena: Watching Y/N openly flirt with Wanda and Wanda not realizing it.
Kate, wearing a "Date Me Yelena Pls" shirt: Haha yeah, she's so oblivious.
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Kate: Truth or Dare?
Yelena: Truth.
Kate: How many hours have you slept this week?
Yelena:...
Yelena: Dare.
Kate: Go to bed.
Yelena: I don't like this game.
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Yelena: All in all, a 100% successful trip.
Kate: But we lost Y/N.
Yelena: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
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Yelena, doing a PowerPoint presentation: You've heard about mommy issues and daddy issues, now, I present to you (shows a picture of Natasha) big sister issues.
Natasha: What?
Kate: Say no more. I'm convinced.
Clint: (nods)
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