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#incorrect bat family
raeofgayshine · 2 years
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Jason: I could take Killer Croc
Dick: In a fight?
Jason: …
Dick: In a fight, right Jason?
Jason: … No comment
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skynapple · 2 years
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Tim: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you've lost throughout your life time.
Dick: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thanks for finding this!
Jason: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years!
Dick: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Jason: Mental stability, my old friend!
Tim: Guys, could you lighten up a little?
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solarflare211 · 5 days
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peak damian and batfamily interaction is him using overly formal vocabulary and syntax AT ALL. TIMES. he will never not be proper. even a few years into living at the manor and with all the colorful dialogue styles there, he still talks like he’s 53 and some sort of medieval noble. this is especially funnier whenever he has any sort of normal familial interaction. like:
damian: todd i have come to make a request of you.
jason: what?
damian: i was hoping you’d acquiesce to my demands of having you read me your favorite book while i prepare for slumber.(liked he used to when damian was a baby)
jason: you want me. to read you a bedtime story??
damian: tt. of course not. you reading the book and me preparing for bed are entirely coincidental. i just desire to hear your interpretation of the authors message and the voices you use when narrating.
jason: ….sure, kiddo. go brush your teeth and i’ll be there.
damian: thank you. i shall see you in my chambers.
bonus points for entirely monotone delivery like see this shit just makes me go off it’s so funny
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cardinalcheerio · 1 month
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I imagine that the Batkids go out for food every once in a while.
So there they are all sitting at the restaurant, when dick goes to pay and accidentally uses one of Bruce's cards.
They get back to the cave to bruce freaking out, everyone is like "IDENTITY BREACH AHHHHH" y'know.
And the next day a paper comes out, "Bats steal Brucies Credit Card!"
From then on they use Bruce's cards for snacks in the field and gotham just accepts that
1. Bruce funds the Bats
2. They take it from him
3. Bruce and Batman dated and Batman stole his credit cards and gave them to his kids.
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sleepy-cone · 10 months
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Bruce still does the tooth fairy thing for the kids.
The bats are constantly losing and having to replace their teeth. Because you don't get hit, kicked, and thrown on your face almost every other night and keep all your teeth.
So imagine early on when Duke first stays at the manor. He comes in saying how he was thrown into a car and lost a tooth on patrol.
They tell him to put it under his pillow for the tooth fairy. He laughs it off like , "OkaY, the tOotH fAirY."
The next morning at breakfast
Dick: "How much did you get?"
Duke: "Get what?"
Dick: "From the tooth fairy?"
Duke: "Oh, haha, right."
Steph: "?...Wait...Bruce?!"
Jason: "Why didn't he get anything??"
Bruce: "Don't ask me. The tooth fairy probably couldn't find it."
Duke: "You're not joking? You were serious about leaving my tooth?"
Tim: "Yeah, B always leaves money."
Bruce: "Untrue. The tooth fairy leaves money to children who lose a tooth. Not me."
Jason: "Yeah, whatever, anyway, make sure you let him or Alfred know when you lose a tooth and leave it out when you go to bed.
Bruce: "Alfred and I have no say in the tooth fairy's actions."
Tim: "We've caught him on camera, but he insists to deny."
Bruce: "Or perhaps you caught a clever disguse made to trick you?"
Dick: "... Just leave it out tonight, Duke."
Duke: "Okay, I guess I'll leave it out then?"
Bruce: "Somewhere the tooth fairy can find it easily, Is what I assume they would want."
Steph: "Smooth."
Damian *walking in*: "Father, thank you for the extra cash. This will go to the new treats I wanted to try for Batcow."
Bruce: "It wasn't me, thank the tooth fairy."
Damian: "... Yes, the tooth fairy. Thank you tooth fairy."
Bruce: "I think the tooth fairy appreciates that, Damian."
Everyone: *sigh*
(Cass is there the whole time casually eating because only Bruce knows that she sometimes will sneak in the rooms first to wait for him.)
Cass when Bruce finds her in the darkness of her sibling's rooms: "😃"
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fleur-dans-la-nuit · 1 month
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Jason, to Bruce: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Dick, smirking: Yeah, now that you mentioned it, I noticed that too
Bruce: …
Bruce: I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
Tim: *Loudly sips tea from a bowl*
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rad-batson · 10 months
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The BatKids and Their Most Viral Tweets :D
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Guess who just got their degree last week (me, besties woohoo)
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Dick, at the police station: hi, i'm here for jason.
officer: last name?
Dick : .....ah. you must be new.
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ev-arrested · 6 months
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Dick and Jason are the type of siblings to have a literal fucken fist fight, and then the next day they’ll be like:
Dick, showing up to Jason’s apartment and handing him a book he borrowed: hey so I finished it. Can I borrow the next one in the series?
Jason, going to get the next book: yeah, word. What’d you think by the way
And then not even a week later, they’re back to fighting again.
Like this is their version of sending tiktoks or texting a fucken game of 8-ball immediately after a spat.
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Jason: the Batfam member I see most as my brother is Tim
Dick: What!!! That's no fair, I should be your brotherly-ist brother!
Dick: No offense Timmy.
Dick, turning back to Jason: But I am the one who has been your brother longest, I helped you kill that druglord, I even gave you some of my cookie dough last week!
Bruce: uhhh, back to the druglord thing-
Steph: You shared your cookie dough with him!
Jason: Sorry Dick, but there is one thing that makes you brothers more than anything else, not blood, or time, but...
Jason and Tim at the same time: Contempt
Jason: I have contempt for Tim, like all siblings should. Really the only thing I love more than hating Tim is shit talking other people with Tim. That form of contempt is how siblings bond and I will just say, surprisingly I love bonding with Tim even more than I love terrorizing Tim
Tim: aww, I didn't know we were that close
Jason, panicking cause he doesn't wanna ruin their dynamic: *punches Tim in the gut and runs out*
Tim, shouting after him: You can't take it back now, you ass
Jason: *turns around while running to give Tim the middle finger*
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headcanonthings · 5 months
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Bruce: So this is my first son, Dick and then we have my second Jason. Then we have Cass, Tim, and Duke. Then we have my youngest Damian. The Justice League: Bruce: Then we have the Steph and Barbara who aren't my kids but really are. The Justice League: Oh come on! Bruce: Then there's Harley, Jean-Paul, Helena and - The Justice League: OH COME ON !!!
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Damian: I swear, no matter how long I've been friends with people, there's always someone who's surprised that I'm left handed. Jason: You're left handed?!? Damian: Damian: *Punches a wall*
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incorrectbatfam · 2 months
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Bat-Cow: Where are Ace, Titus, and Haley?
Alfred the cat: They’re playing hide-and-seek.
Bat-Cow: Where?
Alfred the cat: I don’t think you get how this game works.
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greenapplebling · 7 months
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Dick: Hey, B. I need-
Dick: Uh...
Bruce, laying on bed with Tim dozing off at his side and Damian on the middle being cradled like a baby: Tim came here to sleep and Damian got jealous
*like 10 minutes ago*
Bruce: Damian, Tim came here to sleep. Would you like to join us?
Damian, who just came to ask something:
Damian: Alright, father
*present*
Tim & Damian: *share a look*
Dick: ... *takes a picture*
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cardinalcheerio · 1 month
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Half the time I'm like, "can we have jason todd media not all about his death"?
Then I realize. If I died I would never shut up about it.
"Can you get up and grab that for me?"- absolutely not. My legs are tired from death.
"Will you go to the store with me?"- leaving the house?!? What if I die AGAIN.
So yeah, anyone who thinks jason talks about his death too much. Be honest. We'd all do the exact same thing.
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boygirltreehouse · 6 months
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no more buzzcut please!!
No more drawing duke bald, we've evolved past it. This is for everyone especially wfa onlys. I know most of yall don't like drawing bald people and what a coincidence neither do I! Lucky for you, in the comics, duke doesn't have a buzz cut his hair usually looks more like this
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The buzzcut is a lazy, common thing that many artists less experienced with black hair default to when drawing black characters. In the age of artists actually learning more diverse black hairstyles, I say we include him in this movement!
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