#incorrect Greek myth quotes
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Persephone: Tell Hermes about the birds and the bees.
Hades: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate.
#sent in by an anonymous friend :)#hades and persephone#persephone and hades#hades x persephone#persephone x hades#hades#persephone#greek mythology#greek myth#mythology#incorrect quotes#incorrect hadestown quotes#incorrect greek mythology#incorrect Greek myth quotes#incorrect lore olympus quotes#incorrect hades and persephone#incorrect hades x persephone#lore olympus#hadestown#hermes
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y'know this bit from the Family Day episode from American Dad may as well just be the Trojan War lmao
so yeah enjoy this highly specific and yet coincidentally effective meme about the war gods LOL
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Persephone: *removes Hades from her lap to go do something else*
Hades: Wife is... evil? Wife is unyielding? Wife is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore Olympus as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
#hades#Persephone#hades x persephone#s: tumblr#greek mythology#greek gods#incorrect greek gods#incorrect quotes#incorrect greek mythology#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#greek myth memes#classical mythology#mythology#incorrect greek mythology quotes#incorrect greek myth quotes#greek incorrect quotes#incorrect mythology
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Kidnappers: We have your son.
Zeus: I have lots of sons. You have to be more specific.
Kidnappers: He's been singing Toxic on a loop for 4 hours.
Zeus: Oh my gods you have Apollo.
Zeus:
Zeus: Keep him.
Kidnappers: No, please, TAKE HIM BACK! HE'S DRIVING US CRAZY.
Zeus: HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
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Kidnappers: We have your son.
Leto: Oh my gosh you have Apollo.
Kidnappers: W-wait, how did you know that-
Leto: I have 1 son and that is definitely Apollo singing Toxic in the background.
Kidnappers: Please take him back he's been singing it on loop for 4 hours he's driving us crazy!
Leto: Can I speak to him on the phone real quick? To check on him? He's my only son you know.
Kidnappers: Uh, sure?
Apollo, really high and happy: HI MOM! :DD :DDDD
Leto: Hi sweetheart!
Apollo: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SMNF
Leto: awww, love you to sweetie <3
Leto:
Leto: I want you to drive those nasties crazy, okay?
Apollo: OKAY MOM :D :DDD
*incoherent screaming is heard as Apollo's singing increases in volume*
Leto: that's my baby
Leto, throwing shades on: and no one messes with my baby.
#all hail leto#apollo#zeus#leto#incorrect greek mythology quotes#incorrect greek mythology#incorrect greek myth quotes#apollo deity#zeus deity#leto deity#greek gods#greek mythology#greek myths#greek titans#greek goddesses#ancient greece#ancient greek
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Ares: Where's Apollo?
Hermes: He's upset in his room... He won't come out.
Hephaestus: Why?!
Aphrodite: Some mortal told him his hair was funny.
Ares:Oh... I see.
Hermes: Ares...
*Ares breaks out into a run but Hermes catches him*
Ares: I JUST WANNA TALK! WE'RE JUST GONNA TALK! ERIS COME HERE! NOW.
Aphrodite: Yeah Hermes let him go. When it comes to Apollo there's nothing you can do.
Hephaestus: Once I said that Apollo style wasn't for me and Ares treathened me with a fork.
#greek myths#incorrect greek gods#greek gods#ancient greek#ancient greece#greek mythology#incorrect greek myth quotes#incorrect gods#greek incorrect quotes#aphrodite#apollo#ares#hermes#ares dosen't fuck around with his loved ones#ares x apollo
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Achilles: I am a fighter! I am strong, I am the great Achilles! No one disrespects me!
Patroclus: Wanna cuddle?
Achilles: Yes, please!
#greek mythology#incorrect greek mythology#incorrect quotes#patrochilles#achilles x patroclus#incorrect greek myth quotes#incorrect greek quotes
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Conversation
Dionysus: So anyways have y'all seen Ares?
Artemis: I think he went into Athena's room 'studying'.
Hermes: Doubt that. I heard groans there.
*Meanwhile in Athena's room*
Athena & Ares:*Beating the shit out of each other*
#they thought#but it would never happen#dionysus#artemis#hermes#athena#ares#greek mythology#greek gods#incorrect greek gods#incorrect greek mythology#incorrect greek god quotes#incorrect greek quotes#incorrect greek myth quotes
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Hephaestus: You’re the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Aglaea: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Hephaestus: Absolutely not.
#Hephaestus no#you need to take care of yourself#He’s always working in his forge#barely eats and goes to sleep very late#incorrect quotes#greek mythology#incorrect greek gods#incorrect greek god quotes#incorrect greek myth quotes#hephaestus#aglaea#Hephaestus x Aglaea#Aglaea x Hephaestus
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In the Underworld
Zeus, drunk: Hades, my brother! Can I sleep here tonight? *Hick*
Hades, one eyebrow going up: Why? What have you done?
Zeus, shaking his head innocently: Nothing, nothing. Just ... I maybe have destroyed Hera's garden with a few lightnings. Just maybe.... *Hick*
Hades, looks shocked: YOU DID WHAT??
Zeus: As you can understand, I took some pills and drank a few bottles of red wine *hick*, so the flowers tried to attack me and I had to defend myself! *Hick*
Hades, shaking his head: Sure..
Zeus: It's not a big deal, Hera only needs to calm down.... *Hick* She will kill me otherwise.
Hades, having an idea: Of course, be my guest!
Zeus, smiling: *hick* Thank you so much brother!
A few minutes later
Hades, calling Hera: Good Evening, do I speak with Hera? Oh Hera, wonderful. I just wanted to tell you that your foolish husband is here! You can kill him, I mean pick him up, anytime you want!
#greek gods#greek myth fanfic#greek mythology#incorrect greek mythology#greek myth memes#greek mythology memes#incorrect greek myth quotes#incorrect greek gods#incorrect mythology#greek myths#zeus deity#zeus greek mythology#hades greek mythology#hades
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Hermes: What's got you so stressed out?
Hephaestus: I'm trying to file another application for a divorce.
Hermes: Another?
Hephaestus: Yes. Hera said my reasons weren't valid and Aphrodite started crying when I told I wanted to split.
Hermes: Shit that's tough.
Hephaestus: This time! This time I got it!
Hermes: *takes it and reads* Oh Hephy...
Hephaestus: What?
Hermes: Saying she "drains you of your will to work" isn't going to work.
Hephaestus: Read lower.
Hermes: Hm?....Oh and now you're saying she distracts you from making Zeus bolts. Yeah that'll do it!
[Elsewhere]
Aphrodite: My bitch is trying to escape again!
#hephaestus#hermes#aphrodite#incorrect quotes#incorrect greek gods#incorrect greek mythology#incorrect greek myth quotes#hera#Aphrodite legit is crazy crazy#let hephy goooo
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Hermes lying about the myth with Argus
Hermes: Do I look like a killer to you?
Hecate: Yes. You kill my patience.
#incorrect greek myth quotes#greek mythology incorrect quotes#incorrect Greek gods#incorrect greek myth#incorrect geek mythology#Hermes x Hecate
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Hades: Sorry for the mess.
Persephone: What? This place is spotless.
Hades: I meant me. I’m the mess.
#hades#persephone#hades and persephone#persephone and hades#hades x persephone#persephone x hades#greek myth#greek mythology#mythology#incorrect quotes#incorrect hadestown quotes#incorrect greek mythology#incorrect Greek myth quotes#incorrect lore olympus quotes#incorrect hades and persephone#incorrect hades x persephone#lore olympus#hadestown
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Antilochus: we lost Patroclus
Achilles: how do you lose Patroclus?
Automedon: you forget to cherish him
#incorrect iliad#incorrect quotes#incorrect Iliad quotes#incorrect greek myth quotes#achilles x patroclus#achilles#antilochus#automedon#source: suite life of zack and cody#incorrect patrochilles quotes#all jokes here
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Criminals: We have your son
Zeus: You’re gonna have to be more specific. Like, a lot more specific
Criminals: He just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off his sandwich?
Zeus: Dear gods, you have Ares
#zeus#ares#he IS a softie#s: brooklyn nine nine#greek mythology#greek gods#incorrect greek gods#incorrect quotes#incorrect greek mythology#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#greek myth memes#classical mythology#mythology#incorrect mythology#greek incorrect quotes#incorrect greek mythology quotes#incorrect greek myth quotes
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Hermes : Why is Apollo crying on the floor?
Dionysus: He's drunk.
Hermes : And?
Dionysus: He saw a picture of Hyacinthus's boyfriend.
Hermes : But he's Hyacinthus's boyfriend.
Dionysus: I know.
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Zeus: I just realized... I had a bad childhood.
Hebe:Yeah, dad. Everyone knows.
Zeus: What do you mean you know? I just found out. How can you know?
Hebe:Look at you!
Zeus: What do you mean look at me?
Hebe: Dad, look how you stand! People who had good childhood's don't stand like that.
#incorrect greek gods#greek myths#greek gods#ancient greek#ancient greece#incorrect greek myth quotes#zeus#hebe#hebe was the one who made zeus realize his trauma#if it wasn't for hebe#zeus wouldn't ever realize#zeus x hebe#zeus and hebe
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