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#in which bad things happen
asirensrage · 1 year
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Succumb - Steve Rogers x OC
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Title: Succumb Fandom: MCU Pairing: Steve Rogers x OC Word count: 4210 Warnings: torture, forced pregnancy, kidnapping, isolation, swearing, illness, biological warfare, dubious-consent, coercion. Also available on Ao3
Summary: Steve Rogers is betrayed. He's not the only one.
Notes: shout out to @vixenofcourse who indulged me as I delved into this idea after I read Flowers in the Attic. All of my thanks to her for editing it for me. The sketch used in the banner above is gorgeous and for sale. Check it out here. Also, please let me know what you think. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this (and not just because I have ideas of what happens after...)
This is a darker fic. Heed the warnings.
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Steve Rogers is betrayed.
He’s led down into this place he doesn’t recognize by Sitwell. He’s been back in the world for only a few months, barely long enough to start figuring out the way things work. He’s not entirely sure he likes the people he’s surrounded by but aside from their initial deception after he thawed, SHIELD has tried to help guide him…even though they keep assuming he can’t adapt. 
He hears a woman calling out for help and with a quick glance at Sitwell who doesn’t seem concerned, Steve picks up the pace. He’s locked in with her before he can stop it. Confused, he demands to be released only to be told to think of it as a vacation. One with a willing, warm body for his needs. The woman cries harder at that and all Steve can think about is how fucking stupid he is in this moment. He didn’t even suspect the trap or question the directive that no weapons were allowed past the stairs. 
He tries to break open the door, the walls, anything to be released. Nothing moves. Seems they’ve learned their lesson from his first awakening on their turf. Eventually, he slumps down and looks at the woman who’s been ‘given’ to him. She looks like she just got off work at an office. 
“I’m sorry,” he says. He means it too. 
“It’s not your fault,” she replies, wiping her face free of tears. “You didn’t put me here. Fucking SHIELD did.” 
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Days pass. 
The room they have been forced into is small, especially for two people. Barely long enough to lie down with his feet planted against one wall and stretch his arms over his head to brush the opposite wall with his fingertips . There’s a bare foam pad for a mattress on the floor in the corner and a washroom with a toilet securely fastened down, same with the shower head over the drain in the floor.  There’s no shower curtain or partition for privacy, only a missing door. He’s seen better conditions during the war. 
Steve learns her name, Eurydice, and that she had just recently started working in the Human Resources department of the agency. An agent had asked for her assistance…before throwing her in here a couple days ago, she thinks. They didn’t tell her why. They didn’t speak to her at all until he came. 
Food is delivered only during the night and rationed throughout the day. He tries, over and over, to grab whoever is delivering it. He somehow never manages as it’s shoved through an opening in the door. He spends a couple of days trying to break it but when he attempts it, they’re not fed. He abandons this venture only once his vision is blurring and his hands begin to shake while the woman he’s with is curled in the corner, trying to quell the misery of her hunger. Food begins to arrive again after he stops.
Finally, they are told why they’re there. Why they won’t be released any time soon. 
“You are a rare specimen, captain,” an anonymous voice says. The speaker is buried in the wall. “We were not able to procure a sample of your semen while you were emerging from the ice, so we’ll do this the old-fashioned way. You’ll sleep with the girl, Captain and give us the child.” 
There have been few moments where Steve has actually been overcome with rage. This is one of them. But it is nothing compared to her. 
He‘s never heard some of her swears before, even from the men he’s spent time with in the forties. 
“It’s okay,” he says. “I promise. No matter what. I won’t touch you, okay? It won’t happen. I’ll get us out of this. Now we know what they want so we just don’t give it to them.  We’ve got this.”
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He does not have this. 
Neither of them do. He realizes, likely too late, that he should have tried to actually build relationships with the people he’s met. How many of them are wondering where he is? Is anyone? Or has SHIELD spun a story addressing his disappearance? What about hers? 
There’s nothing to do but talk or draw on the walls with the pen and charcoal he had stashed in one of his pockets that would have held his sketchbook. She is a terrible artist but she fills the silence as he draws.
Eurydice (“Dizzy to my friends”) is 29 and named after the Greek myth. Her father was a classics professor, her mother an accountant. She‘s new to the city and only joined SHIELD because she needed a job, not out of some patriotic duty. She likes spicy food and tacos and green tea. She prefers comedies over action and she misses listening to her father’s voice reading to her. Her voice breaks at that. 
Steve tells her about his mother, about Bucky and even about Peggy. 
She scoffs at that last relationship, with one of the founders of SHIELD, and they fight. It ends with her retreating to the bathroom and Steve nearly breaking his own hand punching the wall. She’s wrong. He wants her to be wrong but part of him worries she’s not. 
Then the music starts. 
It blares from the speakers, causing Eurydice to curl up, covering her ears. Steve tries to find the speakers, to break them, but it’s so loud that he can’t hear where it’s coming from. It lasts for hours and when it finally stops, when they finally have silence after curling into each other trying to help cover their ears, the fight is long forgotten. 
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It doesn’t stop there. 
They don’t get a change of clothes. The temperature seems to drop with no pattern. He offers his warmth, promising to be respectful and not touch her any more than necessary, but they go from trying to huddle together to her choosing to lean against him constantly. She shivers in the dark and it’s all Steve can do to try to keep either of them from freezing. It’s only when they’re curled up together, when her teeth stop chattering as her head rests against his chest, that the cold seems to ease. 
Despite everything, despite being used as an experiment and being seen as a paragon of virtue, Steve is human. He’s a man. In the weeks that pass, filled with mindless boredom and conversation about anything possible, he finds himself entranced. 
She’s quick-witted, funny and while she’s a bit of a pessimist, she’s trying. That means a lot to Steve. Especially when she tries to cheer him up. 
She’s also gorgeous in an old-fashioned way. She reminds him of the faded photographs his mother kept of family and friends gone or left behind. It’s subtle, and he thinks in this time maybe she’s overlooked. He can’t help but watch her and not because she’s the only other person here rarely more than arm’s length away. Eurydice is all soft curves and bright eyes and sharp tongue. He thinks if they had met some other way, he would have been tempted to ask her out. Considered leaving the memory of Peggy in the past to get to know her. 
He wants and wants and wants. But Steve made her a promise. He won’t touch her. He’s not even going to let her know how he yearns. 
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“SHIELD can’t be good,” she tells him one day. “Not when they’re doing this.” 
She’s leaning against him, beyond exhausted. He’s always trying to hide her behind his bulk, away from the door. Away from anything that could hurt her. 
“I know,” he says. He’s been thinking of it since the day they locked them in. The Peggy he knew wouldn’t have accepted this but he’s wondered if he ever really knew her, how early the rot set in, how she and others could have missed it. A romance on and off a battlefield didn’t actually mean they knew every facet of each other. All the good and the bad and what might be seen as an acceptable compromise to secure something that looks like peace and security. After all, history is full of them. 
In the time he’s been here, he thinks he’s seen every side of Eurydice. He’s held her as she cried in despair or raged against their captivity. Slept with her pulled against him, trying to share his body heat. Shared every meal. He’s been subject to her anger even her pain when she menstruated. She’s seen every part of him in return. His anger, his sarcasm, the way he likes to pretend to be the version the public expects and the real him. She’s heard all of his hopes and dreams and frustrations. She knows how he hasn’t fully trusted anyone since Bucky. 
“I wish I could draw you,” he tells her when she’s falling asleep. “I wish—” He stops himself and looks at the walls around them. He’s covered them in landscapes and memories of New York. He’s drawn everything he could think of, anything to keep him from reaching out to her. Even when she’s the one who moves closer, who tries to comfort him. “I’m sorry,” he says. “Only have a pencil but I’m trying to give you the world. However I can.”
“Thank you, Steve,” she murmurs back. He feels her relax further into him and he closes his eyes, trying to focus on the sound of her breathing. 
So of course the music starts again. 
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He feels her eyes on him almost constantly, though it’s long ago become a comforting weight. But lately, she looks away every time he tries to meet her gaze, to figure out what she’s thinking. It’s the only thing she really hides from him. He hates it. He wants her to tell him, to admit it. He wants to know that he’s not alone in feeling like this. 
So he relishes the moments she gives. The way she talks to him when she tries to sooth his anger, how she’s always the first to reach out to him, to tuck herself against his side. She’s the one who moves closer because he swore he wouldn’t and it takes everything in him not to pull her tighter against him and not let her go. 
The soap they share lingers on her skin and he breathes it in every chance he gets. It’s better on her but mainly because there’s some part of him that enjoys her having his scent, as though he can claim her in any way possible without actually crossing the boundary he placed between them. It makes him feel like this is all welcomed. That if he closes his eyes, he can pretend that they’re somewhere warm. That they chose to be together instead of forced. He thinks he’d choose her now over anyone. 
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He doesn’t want to scare her. 
It’s been weeks. Months? He should know but when he’s not thinking about how they’re going to escape, he’s thinking about her. 
Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation. They haven’t been able to grab even a full hour anymore. Any time they get close to falling asleep, the music starts or the temperature drops and they’re forced back to alertness. It doesn’t matter if it’s only one of them or both, they’re not allowed to rest. He can’t help it though. 
He thinks about how she sometimes smiles and how it feels like it lights the whole place up. He thinks about what it would be like to touch her, to have her relax against him completely. He thinks about the way she sometimes holds her breath, the soft sounds she tries not to make when she's in the shower and he pretends he doesn’t hear. He wants to know if she thinks of him then, like he does her. 
 He thinks about how she’s starting to thin out, that the curves he first noticed are beginning to shrink. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like how she’s not moving as fast as she used to, that her quick-witted responses aren’t happening as much. Apathy is setting in. 
He thinks about what it would be like if they weren’t here, if they were in some apartment with the sun shining in through the windows and he tries to ignore the itch to draw her. 
He needs to get them out of here. If only so they can have a real chance. 
The sleep torture stops as suddenly as it started and Steve has no idea how long they sleep in the ringing quiet. 
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Something is wrong. 
It starts with a cough. Dizzy tells him that it’s nothing, the air is dry and she’s prone to allergies. He believes her. Until it doesn’t fade. He asks their captors for another blanket, something to help her, but they don’t respond and the cough continues to linger. 
He hears it constantly. It does not ease and Dizzy starts running a fever. She won’t eat and while he should be grateful that they finally get to sleep, she’s sleeping longer and longer. As if it’s getting harder to be awake. 
Then it turns from a mild persistent cough into long barking hacks. He doesn’t need to see the blood speckled in her palm to know that it’s the same thief that took his Ma. 
Steve rages. 
She would have needed to be infected and since he has been her only companion, he knows who’s responsible. 
“God fucking damn it!” he screams at the ceiling. “Heal her!”
There is silence in return until finally the air crackles. “Comply,” the voice says around him. He shakes his head, but fear settles in his chest as Dizzy starts coughing again. 
Steve breaks. 
“Fine,” he swallows and prays she forgives him. He can’t lose her. “Heal her and I’ll do it.” 
Silence answers again. 
“Fuck!” He punches the door. It dents slightly but does not budge and Steve breaks at least one knuckle. 
He hears a noise as the slot where their food is delivered opens. He turns towards it, waiting for it to open. 
“Place your arm through the hole, Captain.” 
“What?”
“Present your arm for injection.” 
He clenches his jaw, trying to quell the desire to refuse. To reach out and break whoever is there but then Dizzy coughs again, her body wracking with it. He kneels at the door and shoves his arm through the hole. He turns to stare at Dizzy as he waits until he feels the needle. 
When he wakes up, she’s gone. 
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It takes three days. 
They torture him in her absence, filling the silence with sounds of her coughing and wheezing. Sounds of her hacking up blood. He doesn’t sleep and he almost imagines he hears his mother, as though he’s back there in the hospital helplessly watching her die. 
Finally, the door slot opens again. 
“Present your arm for injection.”
“Tell me she’s okay.” 
“Your arm, Captain.”
“Is she okay?”
He almost hears a sigh. “If you want her to return, you will present your arm.” He does. 
This time when he wakes up, his head is in her lap. She’s humming softly as she strokes back his hair. It’s almost as though she’s bathed in light but they don’t have any windows. Maybe he’s hallucinating. 
“You’re okay,” he breathes. 
“Yeah,” she says softly. “They healed me.”
He sits up and cups her cheek softly, looking over her face, trying to memorize every feature. She looks better. She looks alive but he can see the impact that this last attempt to force their compliance has had on her.  
“I’m sorry,” he tells her softly. He's sorry that she's been drawn into this mess. Sorry that they've almost killed her over and over in attempts to get them to comply and he's sorry...that part of him isn't because god, he just wants to touch her and if this is the only way, he'll take it. 
She gives forgiveness in two words. “It’s okay.” 
They demand compliance immediately. He begs them for a reprieve. They are granted three days before they promise to replace her. 
Steve sits on the foam pad, his back pressed against the wall. He’s already confessed to her, told her what he promised in exchange for her life. 
Dizzy moves, throwing a leg over him before she settles, straddling his lap. His hands come up to her waist automatically. He’s so used to touching her now, even just casually. He didn’t realize how much he missed it until she went out of her way to reach for him. Even when it wasn’t completely out of survival. 
“I don’t want to die,” she breathes. “If we…they’re going to kill me either way. I have no value to them except for this. If we don’t, they’ll bring someone new but if…if I get pregnant they’re going to tear the kid out of me and I’ll die knowing I lost them to-” she cuts herself off, closing her eyes and trying to bury her face in his chest. He tries to hold her closer, as though he can protect her from these fears. They’d been here too long. 
“I won’t let them.” He forces himself to sound assured, even though they’ve been trying to find an escape since they’ve been locked in. He won’t let anything happen to her. Ever. “This might look like an unwinnable fight, but I’m not gonna give up.  I don’t know how.  So I’m with you ‘til the end of the line, and that’s not coming any time soon.” He pauses slightly before he tells her, “you’re mine. I’ll kill them if they touch you.” 
He says it like a promise but they both know promises can be broken. They were strangers when they met, when they were forced into this place and no matter what he’s tried, their captors have always been able to outmaneuver him. 
“I can’t stop thinking about you.” She shudders against him when he whispers it, his mouth by her ear. “What you feel like. What you taste like. I want to know every sound, every expression, every shiver.” 
His thumb is rubbing soft circles against the skin of her back. She shifts slightly, trying to get closer and he tries not to buck up against her. He’s relished the feel of her before but this is different. This is a chance to gain everything he’s been dreaming about. 
“Tell me what you want,” he says, his voice low. “What you like.” 
“I don’t know.”
“You do. You’re just too afraid to say it.” He moves so that his face is inches from hers. “If you want me to stop, tell me.” She doesn’t. His gaze darts to her lips before searching hers. All he sees is the same hunger he feels for her. He kisses her. Softly, at first, until she moves her mouth against his and his grip tightens. His kiss deepens and she arches against him. He pulls at the slip she’s wearing, desperate to get closer, to feel anything but the fear and anger and helplessness that has saturated them.
How long have they been fighting this? How long…how long have they been here? The kisses turn frantic as she rocks against him. 
It doesn’t matter. Not anymore. 
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They make her take a pregnancy test. Every morning. The only blessing this offers is that it gives them a way to track the days.
Steve finds he can’t stop touching her. Now that he knows what she feels like, some of the sounds she makes though she tries desperately to be quiet because they’re watched, he can’t resist. They are commanded to fuck at least once a day, to fulfil their end of the bargain they were forced into. He does his best to hide her, to cover her as completely as he can so that he can grant her some small mercy. 
It is destroyed with the tests.
Negative test after negative test. Both of them try to hide their relief. They’ve given in, but they’ll do anything they can to keep a child from being born into this torment. Neither of them will give it up to whatever god forsaken plans their captors have. 
But their luck can’t hold out forever and eventually their fears are confirmed. One morning the test is positive.
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“Stay here,” he tells her. He has spent weeks trying to work his way out and now? Now something is happening and the door…the door is ajar. 
“Absolutely not,” she says. “What if it closes again and then I’m just stuck here. Alone.” 
He swallows tightly. They’re both dehydrated, both hungry but he has to take this chance. He just needs her safe. And safe is with him, he reminds himself. He can’t trust anyone else with her. 
“Okay,” he nods. “But follow me and listen to exactly what I say, okay?”
“Sir, yes sir,” she says dryly. He shoves down the way it makes his cock twitch.
“Come on.” He grabs her hand and angles them so that she’s hidden behind him as they leave. She’s small enough now that he’s certain no one would see her. He could block any attacks. 
The hall is deserted. 
Eurydice stays quiet behind him and if it wasn’t for the fact that he can feel her hand in his, he’d almost think she wasn’t there. 
He remembers the way. It’s been etched into his head since that door slammed shut behind him. Since he first saw her, tears in her eyes as she looked at him with hope and then fear. 
They don’t come across anyone for several nerve wracking minutes. It’s odd and alarming enough that he pulls her closer. He doesn’t relax, even when he feels her other hand dig into the back of his shirt. He only prys her fingers off of him, ushering her to stand against the wall as he moves forward to the first guard they come across. It’s luck that keeps the man from turning around too soon. It’s Steve who swiftly disarms him and slams the man’s head into the wall, over and over until there’s a bloody smear when he finally lets the body fall. It does nothing to ebb his anger and he looks back for Dizzy. She’s already moving forward, reaching for him again. She doesn’t even spare the body a glance. 
 He takes their gun and radio, which he keeps, and strips them of the bulletproof vest which he quickly puts on Dizzy. Nothing is going to stop them from leaving this place. 
He hears her breath hitch as they pass a window. It had been months, possibly a year, since they even saw sunlight. Since they’ve seen anything except four walls and each other. 
“We’re almost there,” he says softly. “I got you.”
“I know,” she whispers back. It strengthens his resolve. 
He leads her up a flight of stairs before he forces her back against the wall, shielding her body with his. There’s noise at the door and he raises the gun, ready to shoot. 
The door opens and he catches sight of a familiar face before it pulls back faster than it appeared. The next thing he sees is an arrow directed at him. 
“Stand down!” 
“No.” 
“Cap?” The archer peers at him as he moves into view. “Holy shit.” Steve does not lower his weapon. SHIELD forced them into that room. Everyone he’s known has been SHIELD. Eurydice not included. She was betrayed as he was. She was the only one he could trust. 
“Cap, it’s me. Hawkeye.”
“What are you doing here?” Steve demands. 
“What–we’ve been looking for you. Have you…have you been here the whole time?” Clint lowers the bow, loosening his hold on the arrow. It would be so easy for Steve to shoot him. Even he wouldn’t be fast enough and Steve…he needs to get them out of here. “Holy shit,” he says again. “We were told you were on a mission but La–Nat thought something was wrong.” 
Steve forces himself to relax. He steps towards Clint who’s staring at him like he’s never seen him before. It’s likely the facial hair. They never gave them anything that might be turned into a weapon or used to hurt themselves. 
“We have to go,” he tells his former teammate. 
“Yeah, come on. I know a way. There’s a blind spot on the left side–” 
Clint falls. His distraction in pointing the way gives Steve the moment he needs to knock the man out. He’s not taking any chances. 
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He gets them out. 
They don’t stay in the city. They don’t stay still. When they’re finally free, when they’re out of the city and alone, they stand outside in the sun. They breathe. And if Steve takes the chance to kiss her again, to press her against the car and fuck her, all that matters is the fact that she wants him just as bad. That she begs him for more. 
“They’re not going to let you go,” Eurydice says. She touches the lower part of her stomach. “They won’t let any of us go.”
“Then I’ll burn it down,” he promises. “They won’t get another chance.” 
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jortsbian · 4 months
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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inkskinned · 8 months
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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chitinleg · 11 months
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got him off-balance!
#my art#ds9#star trek deep space nine#julian bashir#elim garak#garashir#watercolor#image desc in alt text#i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare#“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT!#look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior#if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !”#cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad#ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole#the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod#AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel#because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it#often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows#i struggled at first to find full body references#they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless
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pftones3482 · 11 months
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I want to be excited for the live action Little Mermaid so badly
The Little Mermaid is my favorite Disney movie. Anyone who knows me knows I'm obsessed with mermaids as a whole and will watch any media that has them. Hell, I own my own tails and monofins. But every time I see a gif or a video for the new Little Mermaid, I cringe
(btw, this is NOT because of the casting. If you're against this movie because Ariel is black, you're a racist piece of shit and this post isn't for you)
My issue lies with the CGI. It just looks so FAKE. We've seen through the course of movies and TV shows that use it that CGI does not age well, and that's because technology is constantly improving. What was impressive in 2005 is not impressive in 2023 (Just look at Aquamarine, another movie about mermaids). And the CGI on Ariel and her sisters already looks fake and the movie isn't even out yet!
Compare this image from the trailer
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To this screenshot from H20: Just Add Water (a TV show that came out in 2006):
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You can see the details of the scales in the second image
The first image is flat. Sure, it's colorful, but it's flat. It's fake. Halle herself is the most beautiful and alive part of the image, because everything else is fake
The difference?
H20 had costume designers, ones specifically trained in mermaid tail making, HAND CRAFT every tail on the show. All of the scales were hand laid, all the tails molded to fit the actors/actresses perfectly, painted by hand
Let's even look at someone with no affiliation to TV or movies:
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This is Mermaid Linden, a very well known (in the mermaid community) professional mermaid. You can tell her tail is not as high quality as the ones made for H20 (though it's still a VERY expensive tail) - but it still looks like it's a part of her. You can still see the details. Because professional mermaid tails are also all handmade and molded to fit each person. Even if they don't lay every individual scale, good professional mermaid tail makers are very meticulous about what they do.
This is what happens when Disney refuses to pay practical effects artists. We could have had beautiful, handmade tails that would look real on screen for decades to come and could be reused for promotional purposes - instead, they're underpaying and overworking their non-unionized employees to make CGI tails that don't even look real now.
(to be clear, I'm not shitting on the artists. As I said, they're being underpaid and overworked. This is not their fault)
And before anyone comes and says "But swimming in those is difficult!" Absolutely it is. You should never swim in a professional level tail (or even just fabric tails) without practice and training. Which Disney could have given the cast if they were willing to PAY people (the cast of H20 [a TV SHOW] literally learned how to be mermaids on set. It's been done before)
Disney's "Live Action" needs to be rebranded as "CGI with some real people tossed in" because that's all any of these remakes have been, and it's exhausting when I look at what we could have had.
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altheadajoysoul · 9 months
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Cheer Up Tickles >>>>
!!!NSFW/KINK/BLANK/NON-TK BLOGS DNI PLEASE!!!
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((Click/tap for better quality!))
((Reblogs give me 🧡motivation and serotonin💜))
MORE TK ART FROM ME???? FINALLY?????? REAL???!!!??!????!?!?!?!?!?
ANYWAY THE LEE!VINCE GRIND DOESN'T STOP 💪💪💪 SHOUTOUT TO MY MOOTS ON DISCORD WHO'VE BEEN CONTINUOUSLY SCREAMING WITH ME ABOUT HIM HAKGNAOFN
Edit: oml how is this post still getting notes 👁👁 (tysm for liking my silly little tk comic about my silly little OCs HSJGJSHFH)
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I think that Dr. Christina "I was an excellent soldier" Raynor needs to deal with some personal things before she's anyone's therapist, because she strong-armed more of Bucky's autonomy away from him than Zemo did within the series.
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itwoodbeprefect · 3 months
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the thing about bad buddy is that calling it enemies to lovers is not entirely wrong and is a very succinct and easy way to indicate the general plot, but also one of the only moments that the two main characters are actually personally in conflict with each other lasts about four minutes and is expressed mainly through upset shirtless xylophone playing contrasted with a montage of happy moments that features a time there was triumphant shirt-wearing xylophone playing. and then they both say sorry at literally the exact same time
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beatcroc · 4 months
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you ever think about how gerome and fake pep are the only two guys who really only ever knew the tower as their home? i do
lots of fp text in this one so full un-ciphered script is going under cut below. [mostly just a bunch of headcanon nonsense about his whole Situation in the tower :p] [there is also a second bonus after because i am insufferable] anyway,
bonus:
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hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino] [gustavo] [gerome] <-u are here [noisette again]
gerome: i say there monstrosity! do you know the times? fp: …? gerome: haha! just an old joke, lad. gerome: but seriously, i never saw you around the tower much. what's your deal? fp: ... fp: 👈 ?? gerome: yes you! you never struck me as just some hired goon like the rest. fp: i… i don't really know. gerome: oh come now, you needn't be modest. fp: i'm not! i- [fp takes a seat] fp: they…. didn't tell me much. the…the lab. you know it? gerome: i'd pass though, now and again. fp: i was there for awhile, with lots of other copies gerome: oh, you knew the other clones? what were they like? fp: nutritious. gerome: ah. fp: they-the tall one- moved me to….「bruno's」 later. gerome: tall one… you mean pizzahead? fp: uh….right.「pizzahead」 …started changing it. kept changing it. i think i was waiting for something. waiting… to open? but he told me to keep-stay in there. to guard it. was there…longer than the labs but we never got to finish…. but i think we were close. But then「pep- pep: woah. never seen him this chatty gerome: just have to ask the right questions, i suppose pep: I mean, sure but-- wait, you can understand him??? gerome: it's only natural, after all, he is at least in part- part of the tower; made from its power and resources, and so connected with my brother...and to some extent, myself. his speech resonates with the old echoes through its chambers, and while i may not be as omniscient, it has no secrets that would fully elude me. pep: ...uh. ok, sure. what's he saying? fp: ..! fp: XXX! gerome: ah…. seems he's a bit embarrassed. pep: aw. er…look, it may not be my business, but whatever happened in the tower is behind us now, yeah? i know i sure try to forget it too fp: 😬 fp: ...😓👍 [fp turns back to gerome] fp: ............i wasn’t done gerome: he wasn't done. fp: yeah. then 「peppino」 came through. you probably know. hard to miss him. gerome: heh, I'll say. fp: We fought, I stayed…. didn't know anything else until 「pizzahead」grabbed me. fighting more on the roof... fp: You know the rest? you ran out with us... gerome: mhm fp: And… now we’re here. gerome: now we’re here… fp: ...that's all i had. so..... i still don't really know. sorry... gerome: ah, don't be. that's just how it goes, i guess. not much that can be done now... gerome: i suppose we both left some things behind in that tower. i certainly know it can be daunting to leave the fold of familiarity. gerome: but, for what it's worth...i think it’s for the better things worked out for us as they did. fp: yeah…
bonus! 2!!
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#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#gerome#pillar john#pizzaposting#man. there was a lot of really specific shit i wanted to say in this one that i dont think i communicated very clearly at all#its fine though i dont think the ambiguity is necessarily a bad thing. he sure is feeling something and its on you to figure out what#i was picking up on a couple different reads as i went and i don't think any of them are really 'wrong' per se#but also there Is technically a 'correct' one which i will certainly ramble abt if someone asks <:3c#anyway i kinda scrapped that longer angsty comic with the bros so this is my main pillar bros propaganda post now i guess#begging and crying people to care abt & include them etc#now to be clear i dont think gerome has like. never been anywhere else or anything#i think he and john could p much travel freely before the whole pizzahead takeover#but after that happened john was confined to the tower and gerome just wound up staying in there all the time to help take care of him#so it's been a bit since gerome truly Ventured:tm:#fake pep on the other hand i straight up do not think had ever set foot outside the tower until postgame#so. yeah the tower was a pretty big and fundamental deal for these guys' sense of security.#and now that it's gone i think they should be friends about it#and also more generally i think gerome is a great confidant for fp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [!!!]#besides the whole 'can actually understand him' thing gerome is just a cool & chill lil dude to talk to#no shade to peppino ofc he's a decent enough role model and tries his best to understand despite the barriers. but like. yknow.#he is also very reactive. and intimidating. and bad at handling emotions.#and you knooooowwww he is not going to want to talk about tower shit specifically for a variety of reasons#i think gerome enjoys fp's perspective on tower stuff though.#rem and i were bouncing off eachother wrt the tower and cloning and all the natural john duplicates/bodies#fp is not the natural 'subject' for the tower's processes but he a product of its nature just as much as any john#so i am thinking. maybe gerome also considers fp family. i think that would be nice.#aahhhhh...something about bridges. something about liminality.#you can take the beast out of the tower but you can't take the tower out of the beast
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spitblaze · 1 year
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I will say this once because I'm tired of seeing stupid discourse: anti-transmasculinity is not about being treated bad because we clock as men, it's about being treated as stupid little girls because transphobes think we've been tricked into this.
It's kind of the opposite of transmisogyny- instead of fear and revulsion, it's constant condescension, the implications that we've been whisked away from femininity by scary bad guys, that we're going to cause 'irreparable damage' because we don't know what's best for ourselves, somehow. People fearmonger a lot about the "ugliness" of transfem people, but for transmasc people that 'ugliness' is used as a warning- you'll look like THIS! You'll go BALD! Your top surgery scars will leave you MUTILATED! A lot of aesthetic concerns. Worry about our 'beauty'. Because it comes from that same stupid reactionary 'we gotta SAVE the WOMEN' shit, but this time they have to save them from getting 'stolen away', as if we're being seduced or pressured into this. As if we can't make our own decisions.
For TERFS specifically, they're losing one of their own. We're 'gender traitors', willingly aligning ourselves with the half of the population they consider unilaterally dangerous and evil.
We aren't REALLY trans, we just want the benefits that men get. You don't actually want to transition, you're just trying to avoid misogyny.
You aren't actually a man, you're just a self-loathing lesbian.
Why can't you just be a butch girl? Why can't you just be a tomboy?
Why can't you just be something that I don't think is icky?
Anyway. Like all things, it boils down to misogyny. Women stupid and gentle, dont know what best for them, evil men trick into taking man juice, must save because lady stupid and dont know what best for them (having babies and being Feminine).
Theres like. Obviously more to this but I'm just a Transmasc Rando explaining this from my perspective, and I'm not the best with words. Anyone is free to hop in and add on to this
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godshaper · 5 months
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not so alone at the end of the world...
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royalarchivist · 7 days
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Quackity: This project is not over and I’ll do everything necessary to strengthen it day by day. It is a process. Step by step, and it will take time. But I’m taking care of it. [...] I have a personal conviction with this project and I’ll keep working to improve it.
This video is also available on Quackity's VOD YouTube channel, and will include English translations very soon. Please take a moment to read through the transcript of his stream in the meantime; I think it will help a lot of people feel a little bit better.
Translations provided by @QuackitySubs.
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
Quackity: I turned on stream to give an announcement regarding what’s happening with the QSMP structure. I know there’s people with many doubts about lots of things so I hope this helps you all understand a little bit more. I’ll be saying all of this in Spanish because I find it easier to express myself in it since it’s my first language. I wanted to make that clear.
I want to give, and explain, a little bit of the context of everything, ok? These past three weeks have been very turbulent regarding many aspects. The restructuring process that’s going on for the project has not been easy at all. Before I involved myself, and I said it before, there was people who damaged the project in very harmful ways, administrative and financially wise. I addressed this before. But I haven’t given any updates or anything of that nature because the only updates I’ve had are all inner and of legal matter. Therefore, there are no visible changes, but they’re important ones that need to be done.
I’m telling you: people with ill intent have been removed from the project, and I’m still in the process with people that have caused a lot of this harm since the beginning. That has been one of the main focuses of this restructuring that’s being carried out. Guys, I want to make something very clear: during this process, the actions that are being made have to be done with extreme care.
Recently, I’ve wanted to give many updates both inside and outside, but we’re facing a very critical issue that’s leaked information. I don’t know if the people who leaked information and announcements from the inside knew this was going on. But when I gave inside information and it leaked where it shouldn’t have; that affected the process that was needed to take care of many things. And the people who affected me administratively and financially, which I already talked about in a past stream, found out about matters that they shouldn’t have known about and used this information to twist it and affect the process. This complicated to a great extent many things. This is why I haven’t given any announcements. This is why I’m not able to talk freely as much I’d like to, and I’m not ignoring or evading but a very, very delicate process is being carried out.
Since the beginning it was known, within my involvement, that to achieve a complete change we had to start with the people who affected me, the project, and that were the cause of many issues that have been going on this whole year. With that being said, what happened was we started looking for a financial strategy for the project because the costs are very high. The project was going to shut down, I already talked about this. And as soon as I could define through different strategies, if there was a way to support the project, the next step was going to reestablish the many QSMP parts that did not longer exist. And I want to make something very clear; given the financial circumstances of the server, I did not want to make anybody a promise that not even I knew could be fulfilled. For this reason, this element was still present- the financial element, and I could not give any more inner updates because I was working on a very important part of the financial element of the server.
It is my understanding that the lack of communication has been notorious, and I reiterate, it’s not on purpose. There are many matters behind the scenes that I’ve been meaning to address, but I’ve had to be very, very careful. I understand if there are people who do not agree with the approach of the process, and if you don’t trust the project neither the process that’s being carried out, don’t worry. I don’t have an issue if you stop consuming the project. I understand that completely. I said I had a personal conviction with the project and it will stay that way.
I’ve been working arduously, and I’m going to do everything in my power for the project to continue but with the best conditions possible, and something I want to make very clear is that this process takes time. That is something I want to make very clear. This process takes time.
Guys, there’s people who have parted ways with the project and that will continue leaving on their own will and I understand that fully. I don’t have a problem with whoever took or will take this decision and I wish them the absolute best. In fact, I made an inner announcement where I let them know that a restructure would take time to be implemented. And there’s people that, for reasons, no longer want to be a part of this project, and I completely understand it because it’s not easy to be in adjustment stages, so I understand. Something I announced from the beginning was that my main goal would be that the project would go back to normal, but with the best conditions possible. This can be achieved following the right dynamics and the right setting for every person contributing to the project and this cannot be done within three weeks. This entire process continues.
Having given a little bit of context behind many aspects regarding the project, I ask of everyone that would like to stay, their utmost patient. I don’t want to make any promises and I don’t want to sugarcoat it. I want to make concrete actions. And that’s what I’ve been doing, whether you can see it or not, that’s what I’ve been doing step by step.
Guys, the changes that I’m doing are in the project’s best interest and I’ll say this openly: These changes are in the project’s best interest and for the people who love it, people who have been impacted by it, people who follow and love what this project means. These people are my motivation and the inspiration for which I started the project, for which I’m still doing the project and for which I’ll keep doing the QSMP. I am not doing this, and I want to make it very clear, I am not doing this for the people who, for a very long time, want to see the project torn down through efforts that show the complete opposite of having love for the project. Be it non-constructive comments, malicious actions, ill intentions wishes upon me, the team, and any community that consumes the QSMP, and the project in general. To me, that all of these ill-intentioned people stop consuming the project does not bother me in the slightest. I want that very, very clear.
Guys, let’s not forget about something very important: it is very difficult to build something but it very easy to destroy it. To everyone who would like to join us in this building process, you’re welcome. For those who seek to destroy it maliciously… this project, since the beginning, wasn’t and it is not made for you.
Lastly, I’d like to say that these past days I’ve been getting many calls, emails and messages from people all around the world expressing what QSMP means for them. This is why, and I’m saying it as it is, this project is not over and I’ll do everything necessary to strengthen it day by day. It is a process. Step by step, and it will take time. But I’m taking care of it.
I want to thank everyone for putting their trust in me beforehand, and I reiterate my personal commitment to strengthen this project. I hope this clarified some doubts and gave context that to many people it was necessary. I reiterate, I have a personal conviction with this project and I’ll keep working to improve it.
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nattikay · 4 months
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friendly reminder that Neteyam is a well-adjusted kid who has a good relationship with his parents, that he tries his darnedest to be a good warrior because he genuinely looks up to his dad and wants to be like him, and that the idea that Jake and Neytiri are "forcing" him to be perfect, that they "stole his childhood" or that he's "not allowed" to be a kid, etc. are all pure fanfiction with little to no evidence in canon thanks bye
#avatar#avatar 2#neteyam#given how hesitant Jake is to let Neteyam fight I can absolutely GUARANTEE you that there was almost certainly NEVER an interaction...#...in which Neteyam said ''hey Mom and Dad I'm gonna go hang out with Lo'ak and Kiri now''#and Jake and Neytiri reply ''no son you're too old for such childish things you must come do Adult Tasks that you secretly hate instead#so you can be the Perfect Future Olo'eyktan™"#THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN#AND IT'S NOT “IMPLIED” TO HAVE HAPPENED EITHER#Y'ALL MADE THAT UP IN YOUR HEADS#along with the idea that Neteyam secretly hates his lot in life and is internally yearning to be A Normal Kid™#guys Neteyam WANTS to be a warrior he WANTS follow in Jake's footsteps he strives so hard because HE *WANTS* TO OF HIS OWN ACCORD#there is absolutely d i d d l y s q u a t that suggests this path is being “forced” on him#or that he is being secretly ~crushed under the pressure~ and Just Wants to Be Free or w/e#you. made. that. up.#it's not a canon aspect of his character#and. look. if you wanna explore the idea of him being ''crushed under pressure'' in a fanfic#because you find it interesting or it helps you work through your own stuff then hey be my guest#but once you start saying stuff like#''oh i feel so bad for [canon] Neteyam because he died before he could break free of his parents' toxic influence''#Shut Up™#neteyam's parents were not a toxic influence; he was never forced into being something he didn't want to be; his childhood was not “stolen”#he did not have anything to “break free” of. you are injecting extra layers of tragedy that aren't actually there#you are giving yourself extra grief for things that were never canon#stahp#feel free to write whatever you want in fanfiction but please i am begging you#to be aware of which ideas are actually present in the movie vs. which ones are just fanfiction
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novicedraws · 2 months
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Sorry for the absence,,,and sorry for not many sketches
//suggestive below
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front-facing-pokemon · 8 months
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aro-attorneys · 10 months
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i feel room temperature about this news
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