#in hindsight these descriptions 1. often describe me too and 2. sound like general 'neurodivergent culture' so make of that what you will | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 3 years

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(pt. 1) it seems ennea 1/8/cp6s can mistype as one another quite often. it also seems that there is an overwhelming amount of bs circulating around these types. especially 8s. you know more than i do, so i figured that i'd ask for your input. thanks in advance if you choose to read all this. basically, which one would you say is most fitting for myself? i'm extremely stubborn and willful. tbh, those two are simultaneously some of my best AND worst traits.

(pt. 2) i've gotten better at unclenching as i've aged though, so on the whole i think they're positive forces in my life at this point. when i was a kid i had some anger issues, but i worked on them and by the time i reached adulthood the issues had been dealt with. i still feel anger (of course lol), possibly a bit more often than others, but i dont really blow up. using that energy to instead try to fix the problem causing anger ASAP is better in literally every way so i do that instead.

(pt. 3) that last part about the anger actually is one of my tripping points, most descriptions of 8s ive read show them as being very explosive. some of them to the point where it sounds kind of cartoonish- which makes me doubt how accurate their descriptions of 8s are. but moving on, i'm very independent and have been from a young age. being reliant on other people is like sandpaper on my soul, i have trust issues tbh (that im working on with a professional)

(pt. 4) one of my more 1-ish traits (i think??) is that i tend to be pretty focused on the morality of my actions, with apparently enough intensity that other people point it out when describing me. i'm VERY concerned with justice. it's difficult for me to be a bystander. seeing people attacking others who cant defend themselves is infuriating on a deep level. i'll stand down if the victim asks, since they know their lives better than me, and offer other forms of support instead.

(pt. 5) related to that, i have very high emotional empathy while also having low cognitive empathy (both due to the same neurodivergence) which i think drives me towards compassion. despite the fact that i, in general, feel things with the intensity of a bonfire pushing the limits of what can be controlled, i apparently dont often show it externally. other people (w/ the exception of close friends) almost universally describe me as aloof. which probably ties into the trust issues tbh.

(pt. 6) close friends have told me that, before they got to knew me, that they were intimidated by me and thought that i didnt like them. other people seem to feel the same, but dont say so very often. with the people that were stubborn/caring enough to actually get to know me, it takes a LONG time for me to start opening up to them. but once we get to that point, pretty much the only thing that'd break off the friendship is them doing something morally reprehensible, violating my boundaries...

(pt. 7) or them ending the friendship themselves. a stumbling block in some of my relationships is that i can get into power struggles, sometimes over things that arent really that important in hindsight. i dont want to be anyones subordinate, i need equality in all my personal relationships if they're going to exist at all. i tend to take on the role of the Dad Friend in my friend groups; ive been told by them that they kind of see me as a source of strength that they can draw from/rely on

(pt. 8) ... its something that i like about myself. im also very blunt when communicating for better or worse. people come to me for honest, direct feedback and input, but it has made me some enemies in the past. when i was less mature it made me kind of abrasive tbh, though i learned to play nice well enough that its been literal years since i heard that specific complaint. also this is apparently relevant to the type question so tl;dr yeah, bad childhood. hopefully this is enough info for you

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Hi anon,

Thanks for your patience! My guess is cp6, but I’m not positive. I should also add, as always, that I do believe that neurodivergent people can be typed but because I do not (and should not) have all the details of people’s conditions nor can I judge what is due to those conditions and what is inherent to personality (not to mention whether that condition is something you consider inherent to your personality) it can be much more difficult for me to type.

While the way we act in inboxes isn’t the same necessarily as how we act in real life, “thanks in advance if you choose to read this” is not really an 8 statement to me and none of the writing style here stands out as 8: it’s far too conciliatory. 8s can be polite/cordial, but in my experience there tends to be a certain forcefulness or at least expectation. A healthy 8 is more likely to assume they will be read.

Similarly, you indicate that expressing that anger directly is something you’ve moved away from. 8s don’t - they learn perhaps to express it more respectfully (it is true that constant explosive anger is extremely unhealthy and that a lot of 8 descriptions are really hyperbolic) but healthy 8s don’t feel bad about being angry and find value in that expression, in addition to fixing the problem.

With that said I don’t get the sense you feel bad about angry outbursts necessarily, which is pretty common in 1s, and the morality seems outward focused: this doesn’t feel like a fear of “what if I am corrupt” but rather a more 6-like focus of defense and fighting for a belief.

You do mention extreme loyalty to those you are close to, and the wariness of a cp6 but the inherent 6 need for support systems - and willingness to be a pillar within that support system speaks to that.

The one thing that does still speak to 8 is the need for equality, and so I would look into what that ultimate fear is: is it a fear of being dominated or controlled in general (8), or is it a mistrust of those who have been in control over you and who did not provide you with the beneficial guidance and support they should have (6)?

#enneagram #Anonymous

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