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stil-lindigo · 3 days

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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

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july-19th-club · 1 year

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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

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obsob · 1 year

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autism 2 autism communication

#mine #original #orange overlay pink multiply layer my beloved #what hve i done today.....done some face studies!! very helpful!!#i am . beginning...to find.....a way of drawing that feels comfy to me...ouh #i will hopefully do some portfolio drawing tomorrow hehe #im going to re do my website...how it is now is. ugly. i wouldnt hire me #what else is going on...ive ordered some wool bc i hve learnt how to KNIT #im so alarmed. im going to attempt to make a cardigan i am so deeply alarmed #i need to exercise and have a bath. mmm. i will play vid game and then chores and then exercise and then eat and then bath #hve a good evening my friends

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hellishgayliath · 1 year

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It is a shame children such as yourselves had to endure such hardships

You all did not deserve to have the weight of the world fall on your shoulders

#rottmnt #save rottmnt #rottmnt movie #rottmnt splinter #rottmnt april #rottmnt casey jr #my art #sol art #crying on the inside// im done my sol series for now :'L #let these kids cry it out #they went through something traumatic they deserve a good cry #especially casey #he had to watch the last of his family who gave him the world die before his very own eyes #stop another disaster from repeating and while he has the present turtle family #it just wont be the same as it use to be #IM VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT HIM OKAY #i hope yall enjoyed this series at least 😭😭

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acekindaneat · 1 year

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Good thing there's espers on board, no car crashes today everyone 👍

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mipexch · 9 months

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comic about v2 and the goal they'll never fully reach alongside a dissatisfying conclusion. intimate rivalry and all (alternative ending comic. V1 dies instead of V2 during 4-4. V2 is narrating. V1 is dead.)

#high of victory drops to an overwhelming crushing feeling of what comes next now that youre done #if it wasnt clear v2 is trying very hard to put v1 back together after it kills them. very very poorly. weight of your actions hits #v2 #v1 #ultrakill #v4v #heavy implied at the very least. see as you will #i realize now that the writing is very disconnected and so are the drawings but bear with me here. do you see my vision #theres something going on between these two that is beautiful but also extremely codependent #at least on v2s end #tried to do those two descriptive pages in a way where it went like. 2 - 3 small details about v1. and then something very specific. some-#-thing theyd only know if they paid close attention to how the other acted or looked #took me a few days to put together and im pretty happy with it i think #feel free to dub or do whatever as long as you gimme credit where credits due #there are many ways to interpret v2 and this is one of them #gen art

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favoure · 9 months

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heyyy <3

#desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #hermitcraft #mcyt #favourarts #mcyt fanart #hermitcraft s7 #ok to tag as ship #DREW THIS IN AN AGGIE A MONTH AGO . N LEFT IT UNFINISHED #SUDDENLY GOT POSSESSED N WORKED ON IT TODAY N YESTERDAY #NOW ITS DONE !!!!!!!!#im still very much insane over them btw #just found it hard 2 draw for like a few months <//3 #maybe bc it was the last few months of high school n i was GRADUATING #n got busy w ENROLLING #oh but like yk its not a big deal /s JHSKFJSFDSJDF #anyways hope u enjoy ^_^ hope that my love for these two is still apparent in this drawing even tho its been 3 months ^_^

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drawnfamiliarfaces · 4 months

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Heroes of Millennium (HoM) AU

Act 1: What was left behind. - Part 1 <- Part 2 <- Part 3 <- Part 4 <- Part 5 <- Part 6 (here)

#hom au #heroes of millennium au #danny phantom #dp #danny fenton #jake long #american dragon jake long #adjl #rc9gn #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #randy cunningham #rc9gn first ninja #first ninja #aaaaaaand scene! WE MADE IT FOLKS!!! ACT 1 aka SORTA INTRO IS DONE and all before 2023 ended!#its an accoplishment for me to finish any comic project so im very proud <;) thank you everyone who liked reblogged and left comments #im very happy to know there are people enjoying this! and future kudos to all people who might enjoy it in the future ;D #now lets hope i actually figure out how to go about act 2 lol #also of course it wouldnt be me drawing anything rc9gn related without inserting first hAH its i m p o r t a n t

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bluegiragi · 1 year

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konig is very good for ghost and soap in the soapbox saga finale <3

read the full comic (29 pages) on patreon!

#drawing this kiss was honestly one of my favourite parts #but yeah omg i spent the last 2-3 days just committing to getting this finale done #its by far the longest 'episode' in the series and im very proud of how it came out #also this comic series ended on such a sweet note despite the filth #love my boys #also the soapbox saga has technically ended but im definitely not abandoning these three #im far too attached to konig by now #wet cat and his two doms #konig #ghost #simon riley #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john mactavish #soapbox #soapbox saga #giragi art

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waitineedaname · 4 months

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not romantic or platonic but a secret third thing (bonded pair)

#I think more character dynamics should be described as bonded pairs #are two characters very attached to each other in a way that's hard to define? bonded pair.#are two characters rarely seen in a scene without each other? bonded pair #do two characters get anxious when separated? bonded pair #I don't mean this in a weird way I mean it in the way cats will be bonded when at a shelter together or something #this can apply to so many characters I think #regardless of whether they're romantic or platonic or whatever #most necrocav duos in tlt for example #and too many duos in fma to count #like obviously knowing me im thinking about greedling #but also the elric brothers or mustang and hawkeye #but also. many of the side characters.#doing my massive spreadsheet (almost done btw!) has shown to me that jerso and zampano are almost always in the same scene #that's a bonded pair babey #brosh and ross too. to me.#anyway. someone once left the tags ''bonded pair do not separate'' on a greedling post of mine and i haven't stop thinking about it #that's just how I conceptualize their dynamic now #two cats that have to be adopted together or else they'll start destroying furniture

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stil-lindigo · 9 months

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scorched earth.

a comic about a princess who died in a fire.

(this is a sequel to bite of winter, a comic about Snow and what became of her after her death.)

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creative notes:

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all my other comics

store

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dndadsepisodecovers · 21 days

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Aaaanndd- Scene.

#dndads #dndads cover project #dndads art #dndads fanart #dndads odyssey #dndads s1 #dungeons and daddies #dndaddies #AHHH IM DONE WITH S1 NOW!!!!!#still unsure if i really want to finish this project but i will try anyway #since its very time consuming- but fun!#anyway announcement coming in 1-2 days!!#Season 1 Epilogue #blood #cw blood

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obsob · 1 year

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big man...why is he so big...(hes full of love)

#mine #original #oug im tired!!! sleepy!!#what hve i done this week... i processes like 30 orders bc i had such a backlog OGUG. did 2 drawings for my portfolio. did this drawing #also did sm good planning! and sketching!#i was gna colour my portfolio drawings but im. pretty worn out so now maybe i will not #my lower back has been rlly sore also so . im gna try n avoid sitting at my desk heeh #its like half 12 whilst im queueing this....gna hve sm lunch soon. adn then read maybe. i finished my book this morn it was ver good #foxen bloom by. someone. cannae remember !!! very good nice an short #its a nice day..might go 4 walk #ive started on the sleeves for my jumper uehue !!!! am def gna run out of wool so annoying....will b short like. half a ball.#im gettin close 2 finishing my blanket....kinda...i ordered too much wool for that kjbsdkjbs #yes yes reading. i should do yoga maybe. world of pain #okay goodbye

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amelia-yap · 4 months

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AUEGH

#ruby rose #rwby #obligatory tiny distressed ruby #my art #HELLO I HAVE OFFICALLY FINISHED YET AGAIN ANOTHER ONE OF MY SEMESTERS #and holy shit it was the most awful by far #i felt like absolute shit the entire sem and was behind in literally all of my classes #it was so shit that i actually skipped a class because of the stress of being behind on work. which i had never done before.#i am a criminal now lmao i feel so bad #also a little mad at myself because i know i could've done better. i've been doing the bare minimum and cutting corners #which was very noticeable lol #im gonna actually split my upcoming semester this time my ass and health cannot do this anymore #BUT ANYWAY I FINISHED MY SEMESTER RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #COUGHS OUT BLOOD AND SINKS BACK INTO EARTH'S CORE AND EVAPORATES #IM DONE!!!#also my eyes are really red now for some reason #probably from the lack of sleep or the long hours staring at my bloody laptop idk #probably both #yeah i should go sleep now lol bye #ranting in the tags because i don't know how to talk like a normal person lmao #sorry if you read all this nonsense jkdhkfsdhfkhd #but i should be more active around here again!

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brother-emperors · 3 months

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BROTHERS

The river Weser ran between the Roman and Cheruscan forces. Arminius came to the bank and halted with his fellow chieftains:— "Had the Caesar come?" he inquired. On receiving the reply that he was in presence, he asked to be allowed to speak with his brother. That brother, Flavus by name, was serving in the army, a conspicuous figure both from his loyalty and from the loss of an eye through a wound received some few years before during Tiberius' term of command. Leave was granted, and Stertinius took him down to the river. Walking forward, he was greeted by Arminius; who, dismissing his own escort, demanded that the archers posted along our side of the stream should be also withdrawn. When these had retired, he asked his brother, whence the disfigurement of his face? On being told the place and battle, he inquired what reward he had received. Flavus mentioned his increased pay, the chain, the crown, and other military decorations; Arminius scoffed at the cheap rewards of servitude.

They now began to argue from their opposite points of view. Flavus insisted on "Roman greatness, the power of the Caesar; the heavy penalties for the vanquished; the mercy always waiting for him who submitted himself. Even Arminius' wife and child were not treated as enemies." His brother urged "the sacred call of their country; their ancestral liberty; the gods of their German hearths; and their mother, who prayed, with himself, that he would not choose the title of renegade and traitor to his kindred, to the kindred of his wife, to the whole of his race in fact, before that of their liberator." From this point they drifted, little by little, into recriminations; and not even the intervening river would have prevented a duel, had not Stertinius run up and laid a restraining hand on Flavus, who in the fullness of his anger was calling for his weapons and his horse. On the other side Arminius was visible, shouting threats and challenging to battle: for he kept interjecting much in Latin, as he had seen service in the Roman camp as a captain of native auxiliaries.

Tacitus Annals 2.10-11

there's a lot going on in there! Arminius switching to Latin is a detail that always makes me feel a deep kind of sadness, especially with how it's preceded by mention of their mother. I wonder what she thought of what became of her sons, on opposite sides of everything but still, inescapably, brothers. even when they want to kill each other. there sure are a lot of fucked up and unhappy brothers around. and Arminius asking about Flavus' injury............I also had a whole thing typed out about the horror of imperialism and colonization and the trauma of assimilation but I think this sets the tone better

Rome's Greatest Defeat: Massacre in the Teutoburg Forest, Adrian Murdoch

and also this, just for fun

(ibid)

this post is already a mile long, so lets add another mile to it: a little scene at the start of their conversation! tfw you go in for a hug and your younger brother who also ended up being taller starts roasting your hair style

bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara.app⭐ko-fi

#long post #SO LONG #roman empire tag #tbh im not jazzed about using that tag when rome is not actually the setting here but i do not have a good era tag for this yet #i'll figure it out later eurhghghesuerhgh #komiks tag #arminius & flavus #idk. maybe also #eye trauma cw #anyway it's all very 'he's my brother and i need a shovel to love him' kind of deal #this (wheezing) this is an idea i had LAST YEAR but it was a solo illustration #i had it posted for about ten minutes before i decided it sucked ass and needed to be revisited as a comic #FINALLY. the idea is complete. im free. it's been bothering me to have it unfinished while the original idea was haunting my drafts #as a reminder to get it done. and now i can delete it. au revoir illustration you will not be missed

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accio-victuuri · 1 month

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#my favorite unofficial bts pic #cause the way xz is looking at wyb is so wwx & how wyb is staring at xz is very lwj coded #does that make sense?#these two played their roles so well cause they adored each other #whether you believe it’s romantic or not doesn’t really matter #okay im done i just have so many feels i should take a nap now #yizhan #bjyx #wangxian #untamed bts #cql bts

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