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#im such a simp
why-me-marti · 8 months
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I'm sorry but Milo was so sexy for that
"Oh, you wanna see a hissy fit, bootlicker?"
AJDHSGAGGSHSJSSJSNBSSBSBSBS YES GIVE ME MORE ANGRY FEISTY MILO PLEASE
Also not Lasko trying to calm him down I love him 😭
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mxquirky · 5 months
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Doodle 😳
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marchsfreakshow · 5 months
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Cigarette Tension [Michael De Santa]
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You and Michael De Santa; you're friends with Tracey De Santa, and she brings you home one day when Amanda and Jimmy are out.
Moodboard made by @lilthbunny
Sort of a self insert fic cause I'm down bad for this man. (And as gender neutral as I could make it lol)
Could be suggestive. -18 be warned; Addiction to smoking is referenced.
Your perspective.
⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷
Tracey pulled up in the driveway, and I stared wide-eyed at her house. It was a mansion, let alone one with a pool and a tennis court of all things! She got out of the car and my jaw was slack. "Y/N c'mon! Fame Or Shame is gonna start sooonnn!" She wiggled a bit as I brought myself out of my trance and stepped out of the car.
I had become friends with Tracey De Santa recently after accidentally bumping into her when I was shopping. We apologized after a while, but at first, she was telling me off, annoying me with 'what's your excuse?!' And 'im from money you know?! Daddy can kill you instantly!' I rolled my eyes a bit before picking up her stuff.
"lemme pay you back."
"This was $100..?" She asked, staring at the broken perfume bottle on the ground.
"Okay? I have $200 to spend still." She just smiled and I took her back into the perfume shop.
A few weeks later, and more asks later, I was finally stood by her front door. "I think Jimmy and Mom are out. Daddy's being lazy still in the living room." She grinned. I chuckled in response and walked in with her. "Daddy! My friend Y/N is here."
I followed the chirpy girl into the living room. It was magnificent, and much more than my small apartment. But the man sitting on the sofa took my attention. He was in his 50s at least. Chubby... but attractive. He looked over with a drink of whiskey in one hand.
We made eye contact immediately, and it was like I was captured by him, even though I was just looking into his eyes. I couldn't let my thoughts run wild here, I just couldn't. No one said anything, but Tracey could tell I was staring. "Y/N. Eugh. I'll be in my room sorting this shopping out. Be right back."
I sort of mumbled an okay and leaned against a wall awkwardly. Michael went back to the TV. "you can come and sit down."
"oh I'm okay, thank you though."
As soon as I said that, the man stood up. He turned off the TV, and quietly went outside, holding out a cigarette box behind him. I stared hungrily at the box while it disappeared. The debate and war in my head were eventually won, and I nonchalantly joined him outside. "You smell like you smoke inside."
"You smell like an addict."
"And look at that, you lured me out here." I felt so confident now. My own guess was the cigarette between my fingers, and the lighter I was about to light for the both of us.
We made eye contact again as the cigarettes were lit and we took our breaths.
Tracey clearly was busy sorting out my own shopping compared to hers. I bought barely any expensive things, but it seemed she got everything that was expensive. "How did you meet my angel then?" The word 'angel' came out like sarcasm, but I felt the love within it.
"I broke her perfume by accident when we bumped into each other. I decided I was nice that day, and bought her a new one." Michael raised an eyebrow, side-eyeing me for a second. I fidgeted around a bit as we took our time to smoke.
A few minutes went by before he stomped his cigarette out, I wanted to take my time. I already fucked up my cigarette sobriety, why not enjoy it? Michael's eyes found mine again. A war was happening in my brain again. He was attractive, for a 50-something-year-old. But god he was married! With two kids my age, a bit younger. Clearly.
I was finishing my cigarette up, and I stomped it out soon after. He stood in front of me barely blocking the bright sun. "Michael."
"I can tell..."
"Tell what?"
He placed a kiss on my cheek, then my neck. I was confused and turned away. "You got it figured out.", Michael winked at me, then headed back inside.
I was standing there, against a wall, in my friend's backyard, questioning why her dad just kissed me after a cigarette. He smelled vintage. Old cologne, worn-out suits, and the cigarettes.
When I figured he was back to watching TV or something, I walked in awkwardly. The man was distracted with making a bowl of chips in the kitchen. After taking a deep breath, I headed up the stairs and found Tracey's room right in front of the stairs. She was sleeping. I wasn't sure for how long, but she was asleep. The other door, I assumed was Jimmy's by the sign on it. "Welp, fuck Fame or Shame I guess," I muttered, grabbing my own bags, that held my shopping.
"Why don't you stay for the evening? You're nice. And you seem like a good friend to my girl." Michael said suddenly. The tension I felt last time had come back.
"oh no, I really couldn't. I have all this, and I wanna get it all home quickly." I stuttered out, feeling embarrassed for no reason. I barely knew these people! Why was this middle-aged man so attractive and why did I have to make friends with his daughter!? It seemed like the war in my brain never stopped. My nerves calmed when I was on my own. Or I was drinking. So many things calmed me, but staying the night wasn't one of them.
"No seriously. C'mon. I'm ordering Chinese food tonight. D'you like Chinese food?" Michael just smiled and patted the seat next to him. The TV was playing some sort of old film. A noir film.
As I sat down next to him, awkwardly, I nodded. "I get takeaway a lot."
"oh?"
"I'm not incredibly well off, but I got 400 from my aunt recently. So, I paid my rent for a few months, and y'know. Met Tracey-." My mouth blabbered. I waffled a lot before Michael cut me off.
"You're staying then?"
"Mhm."
"Good! I'm sure Amanda will take to you." His eyes stuck to the movie. It was intimate. I leaned my chin on my knees while attempting to watch the movie too.
Time passed. Movies and shows went by. We ate, and drank, and he had one last cigarette. I wasn't sure where Amanda and Jimmy were, and Tracey was a deep sleeper. "Where is everyone?"
"Jimmy'll come back soon. And Amanda probably found somewhere else to sleep."
"That... sounds bad." My tone was slightly guilty. Not like I had done anything anyway, but it was 4 p.m. at this point, and no one had come back to Michael's place.
"My relationship is fucked. Might as well keep it up."
"What happened? If you don't mind talking about it.."
"I fucked another stripper. She decided her tennis coach was the best person to go to after. Because of course, she did. In my own house, on my own bed. Of all fucking places."
Michael kept going about their relationship, but I could tell he was leaving some details out. Like he couldn't tell me every part of the story. When he stopped and looked over at me, I held his hand softly. He used his hands a lot clearly. Rugged, short, dirty nails. My thumb softly rubbed over his thumb. Empathy wasn't my strong suit, but I could try. The man's eyes softened for once and placed the same hand on my thigh.
I was feeling something. But I was so, distracted by looking at him, I couldn't tell what he wanted. Whatever it was, I didn't know if I should give it to him. The concentration on my face became obvious, and he backed down a bit, moving his hand away. "You didn't..have to.." I whispered, inching closer to him and his alcoholic breath. He kept his silence and went back to the position we were in a few seconds ago. It was like a clock was ticking. A time bomb about to explode.
This was lust. Not love. I didn't want to be known as the one who fucked my best friend's dad. Not particularly. But, he held me captive when I stared at him. Why was he fucking me with his eyes? That look I didn't see often, I knew it. All he did was hold onto my waist as I faced him, sitting on my knees. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know who was around. All I knew was that I just wanted him. For some fucked reason. Daddy issues I guess.
His hair was a bit messed up after being inside all day. The red shirt, the baggy trousers. His hands. His eyes, and his 5 o'clock shadow that was still there at 7pm. Everything about this feeling was fucked. Everything. But god he was so handsome. At any moment, his wife could come through the door, or his son, or Tracey could wake up, and kick me out of the house for being weird with her dad. My eyes screamed nervousness apparently.
"We'll be okay."
He kissed me gently, and he held me gently. This felt insane. What was I doing?! Kissing a married man!? While I kissed him back, my thoughts were like a race track. Where did I drop off my shopping? Nothing sounded like it broke, but maybe something did. "Are you alright?" Michael rested his hand on the side of my face, looking concerned.
"You're distracted."
"I suppose so."
"Nothing matters right now. Calm yourself."
We were entangled in each other again. I sat on his lap, straddling him. He held the small of my back. I gripped his shoulders. Our breaths mixed when we pulled away from each other. The TV was still playing noir movies. It didn't distract him, thank god.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?"
oh. shit.
I went wide-eyed and got off Michael immediately, my embarrassment now noticeable. Tracey stared shocked at her dad as I hurried behind her, grabbed my stuff and headed for the door.
"Y/N!"
"Tracey, angel.. listen."
"DAD! I can't fucking believe you! You're worse than Mom sometimes, Jesus!"
She stomped out into the backyard, so I took this opportunity to move away and go home. Thankfully, Michael didn't follow. Not until I got out the gate anyway. He stopped the car next to me and stared apologetically at me. "Just let me drive you home,"
Awkwardness filled the car, my bags in the back, and I was sitting in the passenger seat, looking out of the window. I refused to look anywhere but the window. I just couldn't look over to him. The man driving me home. The man who I was making out with a few minutes ago. Clouds went past quickly, and the bags were the only noise coming from inside the car.
The drive almost killed me inside it was so long. But we got there, eventually. Taking a deep breath, I just opened the door quickly, grabbed my stuff and closed the car door behind me.
He lingered.
"Don't linger, Michael..." I mumbled. The car window was open, and I knew he wanted to say something. My front door opened, my foot entered the hallway, and I didn't decide to look back. He stood there, by my front door. "I'm home now. Thanks.."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, it's my fault." I kept walking away, into the living room, but because he was in the doorway, I couldn't close it.
"Alright. But you know you can come back."
"I think Tracey's opinion of me has drastically changed. I doubt it." My mutters continued. I acted uninterested and bored. But I wasn't mad at him, not really.
"Just...come back soon okay?" The door shut. Finally. My chest felt less heavy now, so I almost slid my way into the kitchen.
A creak.
Not my footsteps. They couldn't be.
"Michael please.."
"I don't think anyone will realise."
We just stood there, staring at each other. "How about a smoke?"
⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷
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The only tag today: @beetleblunt
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cryptix-art · 7 months
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Shoutout to my two friends for putting up with everything that I have said about Roronoa Zoro while watching the OPLA- neither of them have Tumblr I think so they’ll probably never see this but MAN they’re the real ones fr
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Omg omg Omgggg this man is gonna be the death of me, especially when he said “had you led with this side of you, you could have stuck a steak in my chest and I might have thanked you for it.”
aaaaaaaaahh
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mariiio · 5 months
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HE TOO FINE!!! PLEASE! I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR HIM I WILL GET ON MY KNEES AND DO WHATEVER HE WANTS! OMG!
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m0ss-png · 1 year
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Look at him,,,he's so cute,,,
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nosanityleft · 7 months
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Akaashi Keji. That's it. That's the post
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I am crowning myself as Queen of Gascoigne enjoyers. I got body pillow of him. Tattoo of him. Clothing with him on it. Fanart of him. I'm writing fanfic about him and my oc . I even did "become the character I simp for" step.
I from now, lead army of Gascoigne simps and enjoyers . 🩸🪓🩸
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ellewoodzzzisaicon · 3 months
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He's such a weirdo I love him
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Lappu sa jhingur bana ke rakh diya yaar iss ladki ne
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Why is there barely any Lilia x Male/Masc/Amab readers? Why does this twink have more x fem readers?
Man, i just wanna destroy this man. He's just ugh. Lemme destroy the old man without geting whiplash from dysphoria.
Boutta write my own at this rate. Can people tag good ones in reblogs or comments? Please?
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katilae · 4 months
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me when I appear again after 2 years
anatomy practice turned into Anakin 🥴
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1uvm4hh · 5 months
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Everybody Michael Kovach voices are SCRUMPTIOUS.
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lesbianambulon · 1 year
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bitches I need help I'm so helplessly in love with tfp ultra magnus he's consuming my every waking thought I can't focus on anything else plz send help
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I just watched the new Wonka movie where Wonka is played my Timothée Chalamet who also played Elio in call me by your name. Fuck me dude im such a simp for this man. You cannot expect me to sit and watch him look into the camra, and say in a smooth, deep voice "if you want her so sigh..." Glance down, and continue with "show a little thigh~" and be ok after. I almost fell in the hallway leaving the theater bc my legs were weak and i was light headed STILL even though it had been like an hour later. "I dont really like the new Charlie and the chocolate factory movie bc its ruining the books for me" fuck you look at this man and tell me he isnt the most beautiful person you have ever seen.
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