Hello! I hope I’m not bothering or annoying you. Can I request you to write something really comforting w/ Fruit Tart and Whiskey (as a separate characters) in a format of headcanons? Like they’re calming (or at least trying to calm) gen neutral reader who had a really bad day. Or just what their methods of comforting someone are? Are they being gentle with you? Or are they can left you behind until you simply calm down yourself?

I’m sorry if im troubling you. Have a good day! Thank you so much for your blog, this is one of the most special places for me.

Combatting A Bad Day

A/N: You're not troubling me at all, anon! I'm so flattered that my blog is a special place for you, it makes me happy that you enjoy it here. Thank you for requesting, I hope you enjoy.

Fruit Tart

Fruit Tart sees you as an equal, and as her attendant she sees you as worthy of her time. But if you catch her having her tea time, you won't be in luck if you wish for her sympathy. Nothing matters more to her than that, not even you. However, if you leave her to her own time, she'll come see you on her own volition after she's had her tea. She may be a little arrogant, but she isn't so cold as to not pay attention to your downing mood. Fruit Tart would notice something like that anytime.

She's got a very direct personality; with a butterfly accompanying her, Fruit Tart asks you what the matter is without beating around the bush. If something is bothering her attendant, she would find it an inconvenience at most. It wouldn't do for her attendant to look as troubled as you are now. If she can do something to fix your state of mind, you best tell her. It isn't a suggestion, really. It's more like a demand.

No matter what reasoning you tell her, Fruit Tart can listen well. Even if she doesn't relate to what's making you feel upset, she still respects it without much judgement. On one hand, her hearing you out may help you feel better. On the other hand, no promises that she'll do everything she can to cheer you up.

Fruit Tart isn't the type to have an inspiring speech or a comforting collection of words to help you out of your rough day—calming someone down isn't exactly one of her strengths. In fact, she might get upset on your behalf listening to the day you had. How terrible it must've been... However, if you had a bad day because of a certain individual, she can help with that no problem. She isn't afraid to... have a chat with someone about how poorly they've treated you. If you just didn't feel like you had a good time in general, she might invite you to have tea with her next time the clock strikes four.

Whiskey

Whiskey notices when you've been feeling a little down, like the day hasn't been treating you well. Whether or not you seek him out is entirely up to you. He might give you a brisk visit, starting some small talk about your day to try to pry you open about how bad you're probably feeling. But if you show no signs of seeking someone out to confide in, he'll leave it at that and leave you to your own devices.

If you do choose to confide in Whiskey, he'll be ready to hear whatever you have to say. Venting or ranting to him won't shake him up in the slightest. He's had pretty rough business partners in the past likely much worse than any outburst you could possibly make. Would you like some comforting words? Advice? A distraction? Whiskey could probably find something to alleviate any undesirable feelings. His methods in calming down clients are flexible, depending on what they need. Your needs are no different.

He's a good talker and knows just how to ease someone out of an unhappy mood. He's calm and collected when talking to you, and his words are careful, sensitive to how you react to each sentence. Whiskey's good at keeping the peace when it counts. His neutral, undisturbed tone, as well as his stability and confidence to assist you in any means possible may help you feel less upset, too.

He's honestly so good at dealing with you that it feels suspicious, criminal. Oh, but you're his master. Whiskey insists that a simple chess piece like himself can only really do what he's supposed to, what he's commanded. He really doesn't mind what he does when it's you who asks him, especially when it's something as simple as comforting you after a bad day. Just know that if you ever need him again after another bad day, or a bad week, or even a bad month if it happens, he'll be there by your side to assist.

Strap in folks, it’s rant time.

So, let's talk a bit about manipulation and abuse present in fandom. It’s uncomfortable, but fuck it lets go, I’m tired of the “good vibes only” push that sweeps all this shit under the rug. I’m not pretending to be an expert by a longshot here and I’m happy to discuss, but I have dealt with enough abusive and manipulative people personally and professionally to spot em a fucking mile away and generally keep my distance. Unfortunately, I’ve noticed a gross trend where there are people being attacked, then are guilted into keeping quiet because the Abusers make it seem like it’s not worth mentioning or that it doesn’t really matter... Unfortunately, the Abusers know exactly what they’re doing, they’re really fucking good at it, and they know exactly the kind of response they’re going to receive (because in some cases, this isn’t the first fandom they’ve pulled this same shit in). 

Right off the bat though, lets get some basic facts about fandom out of the way. No one in fandom owns any character: be it interactions, personality or anything else about said character. No fandom creator owns an idea, or has any right to tell people off for having similar ideas/techniques/styles etc. There’s no such thing as a completely original singular thought, and pretty sure if you think of something ‘original’, there’s inspiration from another source. No one owns a hairstyle, a costume, a backstory, a colour scheme, an item, a scar etc etc. If someone has a similar thing, neat, clearly you’ve got similar tastes. If someone has a carbon copy of your creation on multiple points, ABSOLUTELY question it, but having the same hairstyle isn’t copyright infringement, and having a similar history isn’t ripping someone off, it’s coincidence. 

Going to put the rest under the cut, CW for manipulation tactics, abuse, and all those sorts of goodies.

So, I’ll start with the Abusers here. Everyone knows who they are, they know who they are, unfortunately the victims of them are worried about speaking out because, for the most part, the ones abusing people are in a position of perceived power and speaking out against them can put the victim in a tricky position. No one wants to be ousted from a fandom they enjoy for speaking out against someone that’s been around fandom since its inception. Which brings me to my first point.

Power: Abusers LOVE the feeling of having power (be it follower count, general clout, perceived hierarchy etc) and get really uncomfortable when they feel someone new comes to threaten their position. So, what do these people do in that situation? Option A is to completely ignore and hope they’re not dethroned, Option B is befriend immediately and subtly manipulate the person to keep a close eye on their actions. Keep your friends close, but enemies closer amirite? 

So how the fuck does a person subtly manipulate another person, shouldn’t it be obvious? Fuck man, I wish. But there’s a lot of different techniques used to keep people reigned in and submissive: guilt tripping, evasion/diversion, attention seeking, lying, intimidation, playing the victim etc etc. So obviously these will all present differently based on the abuser, but the goal of all of them is the same. To stay in power, and keep control over everything they can. 

So how would all of these present online? (of course these examples leave some wiggle room for context lost in text/translation/cultural differences etc, but for the most part it all fits the same pattern that the abuser would use in a face to face situation). 

Guilt- tripping: “Well you wouldn’t be here if not for me” “You owe me for your place in the fandom” “well if we really were friends you’d do this for me…” etc etc. Things that pit your emotional attachment to the Abuser against you, the closer you are, the easier it is. Suddenly the Victim finds themselves indebted to the Abuser for their ‘friendship’ that the Victim didn’t realize was conditional. 

Shaming: Invalidating the victims feelings by saying things like “even a child knows better than this”, “it’s okay you don’t understand, you’re probably young”, “I’ve been around fandom longer so I know how things go” etc etc. It makes the Victim feel like they’ve done something wrong by drawing boundaries for themselves, or sticking up for themselves. Remember, the Abuser doesn’t want to lose their crown so they will talk down to their Victims to make them more unsure of their stance, second guess themselves, and feel bad that they spoke up in the first place. 

Projection: “Others have done X to me, I would NEVER do the same” It’s a simple yet effective tactic. The Abuser takes the things they’ve done to people, say it happened to them, and shift the blame to the now faceless enemy so the Victim feels obligated to side with the abuser because, yea, those things mentioned fucking SUCK and no one wants to experience it. No one wants to be that asshole saying “no you deserved it” (because no one fucking deserves to be doxxed, swatted, hacked, etc etc)

Playing-the-victim: Abusers LOVE playing this game. It’s their bread and butter to set the stage for manipulation. “Having a really hard time rn, sorry im such a fuckup”, “struggling with mental health”, “this is all so hard for me” (legit though, if you are struggling please seek help where/when you can, mental health is important). So any of these statements alone can be harmless, and overlooking someone's mental health can have dangerous outcomes, HOWEVER, when these sort of statements are paired with the other things mentioned, it’s no longer simply a vent or a way to work past personal demons, it’s a way to gain sympathy and support, and it is very intentionally done to garner that emotional response from those that will listen to them. 

Attention-Seeking: can be as simple as “no one interacts with me anymore”, making a dramatic vague post, deleting that same post and making a newer, more dramatic post but this time seeking affirmation from the good responses of the last post, posting cryptic messages that ooze “ask me what happened” (vaguebooking is a plague), basically anything that is asking for a response without asking. How is it manipulative though? Guilt. If you’re aware of the Abuser, these types of posts are meant to abuse the Victim's sense of empathy, the natural response to these sorts of posts is “what happened, I’m sorry that happened to you”. 

Diversion/Evasion: straight up changing the subject or switching the blame to anywhere BUT the Abuser. The Abuser says “change X you’re copying me”, the Victim responds “I feel I didn’t copy you”, and the Abuser presses “well the fandom might not think so” and changes it from a personal issue to a larger, more aggressive problem. In this case, the Abuser is the ONLY one with a problem, but are purposely misleading the victim to take the blame off themselves. It’s not THEIR problem, it’s the FANDOMS problem...now making it the Victims problem. 

Blame: Abusers love to blame everyone BUT themselves for their perceived problems. Fandom isn’t interacting with them as much? It’s the fandom that’s dying. More drama in the fandom? Well there’s too many people here now. Getting called out for bad behavior? That’s the problem of the person who CLEARLY doesn’t understand how fandom must work. It’s the age old tale of “I’m perfect, it’s obviously everyone else who is wrong”. At what point does the Abuser realize that they may be the cause for their own misery? They don’t. 

Intimidation: This is a fun one that’s usually a last resort because if the Abuser is pretending to be a sheep caught in a snowstorm, it doesn’t look good for them to publicly announce they’ve been the wolf the whole time. It looks like “well I have X on you”, “if you only knew what I could say about you”, and “I could ruin you” type shit. Of course, in most cases, the Victim hasn’t done anything to warrant this sort of aggression, but the queen is losing her pawns and is now grasping for anything to fight back with. And who knows what sort of lengths the Abuser has gone to to gain information on the victim. It’s pretty easy to find out a lot about a person online, so the Victims back down due to the threat of the unknown.

Avoidance: refusing to talk about the problem, which is an issue I have with fandom itself, in this case. The “no drama good vibes only” is so fucking detrimental when there are problems that need to be addressed. An Abuser will push the narrative that they’re only here for a good time and don’t want drama, while actively creating drama in the shadows. Its not a problem if we don’t talk about it, right? If no one knows, it’s fine. It’s fine. No, it’s manipulative, and if there are problems they NEED to be talked about, because that’s how you find resolutions. 

Denial: This one ties in with avoidance and blame, in that the Abuser will straight up deny that they’ve ever been, or have ever created a problem. The Victim is making a big deal from nothing, they can’t control how others feel about them, so they’ve done nothing wrong. The Abuser will claim they had the best intentions when approaching someone, so clearly they have done nothing wrong. 

Lying: Including omitting any information from arguments that may paint the Abuser in a bad light. The Abuser absolutely doesn’t want anyone to find out what they’re up to, so they’ll say exactly what they need to to change the narrative surrounding them. It could be minor changes to conversations to complete fabrications. Ex “I only approached X to make sure they were okay after X happened”, but X screenshots tell a completely different story. It’s not always easy to catch an Abuser in a lie, especially when there’s the push for “no drama” so no one talks about their personal experiences and can confirm/deny what was/reported to be said. 

So bringing all of those points together and bringing it back to the Abuser wanting to have the power to control what they like/don’t like in fandom. Once they have that feeling of invincibility, they may coyly ask people to delete posts that could lead back to them looking bad, politely ask another creator to change their creation because the Abuser doesn’t like it, or them asking nicely to stop interacting with another member of fandom the Abuser doesn’t like. It may not seem like much at a first glance...after all they asked nicely. However, once you look a little harder and a little longer, it becomes very clear that the intention is to stay in control. The Abuser will do ANYTHING to stay on top, and will employ every trick they have in their arsenal to sew discord and mistrust amongst other members of the fandom to keep the fingers pointed anywhere but at themselves.

So, sound familiar to anyone? My inbox is open for anyone who wants to chat about the topic. If I’ve now made you uncomfortable and you’re going to unfollow/block, cheers, wish you the best. And if you’re feeling called out and attacked by my post? GOOD, stop being a fucking shitty person. 

A few last reminders before adding some resources:

Setting and enforcing personal boundaries is not abuse.

Choosing not to interact with those who make you uncomfortable is not rude.

It is important to call out abuse when you encounter it, it could save someone from becoming a victim themselves.

Always stand up for yourself, you’re your own best advocate. 

Now for some resources: I used a few of these while researching along with my old textbooks from my psych, abnormal psych, and human relations classes I took back in university.

Manipulation tactics

How to recognize a guilt trip

How to spot an attention seeker

that part when sugimoto kills jack the ripper and he says "rather than worrying about who gave birth to you, the important part is what you live for" is a nice allusion to ogata being all like: if i had present and loving parents i wouldnt've turned out so fucked up :/ like naaaah man i dont believe it, you would still be the same insane man you are, ogata had present grandparents who cared enough about him to feed him and take care of him when his mother couldnt, (and he liked his granny enough to not kill huci) but still poisoned them for no reason before going to the army. also killing your mother at cold blood at the age of 8 thinking your doing something good for her is not something a good and sane person would do im sorry. i wish he could find peace one day but as you said, he wouldnt recognize it even with a microscope, that man was broken from the start. sad

hmmm i don't know. sugimoto saying that to jack was immediately picked up as having a connection to ogata (not through sugimoto himself lol he's not aware of ogata's past, narratively speaking), and people being able to overcome natural circumstances and better themselves is certainly a theme in gk, or the opposite. look at usami. i'm fully convinced that usami and ogata are juxtaposed and are supposed to be each other's foils - they might be two peas in a pod, but their backgrounds are pretty much the opposite. usami had most stuff ogata lacked as a child yet he turned out the way he did. look at this, for example:

when i say that noda is a good writer, this is what i mean. it's the way he conveys information subtly and succinctly, his attention to detail and the cohesivity of the story. usami's parents were given exactly one page in the whole manga, but it conveyed quite a lot of information. they loved each other - enough to have four children despite being obviously low income, enough to flirt with each other in front of their children, who are welcoming of their display of affection, therefore it's obvious that they don't lack in affection from their parents either. it's a nice detail, an important one, and noda made sure we know. usami had exactly what ogata is convinced makes him defective - a loving family, a warm home, a happy childhood. yet usami still turned out not alright.

however... people are different and complex. two people can be brought up in identical circumstances, yet turn out nothing alike. human brains are incredibly complicated, any given event in a person's life can have a very long-lasting rippling effect and be a turning point. any given psychology course will dedicate a lot of time to developmental and child psychology and therapy is majorly focused on looking at the core of things and searching for it in early childhood. children are malleable because their brains are developing, but once a neuro connection is strongly established, it's quite hard to change later - not impossible, neuroplasticity is a thing, but hard, and requiring a conscious effort. humans are social animals, community is unimaginably important to us, connecting to others is arguably one of the core needs of a human being. we learn how to connect with others from the moment of our birth, and naturally the first-comers, the people who establish us as human by taking care of us and connecting with us are our primary care-givers - namely, our parents.

the truth is that since the child-parent bond is typically the first one in most humans' lives, the relationship between a child and their parents is tremendously important. the other truth is that if a child is not loved and not desired, it is guaranteed to fuck them up for the rest of their life. we need to be loved early on in our childhood in order to be able to create healthy connections with others later in life, it's a must for natural, lasting, positive relationships. a person rendered unable to form healthy bonds with others will still typically seek connection, except in their case they will do it in negative, (self-)destructive ways. which is exactly ogata's case.

when i think ogata i think tunnel vision. he's incredibly self-aware in some areas while being completely blind in others, his perception of himself and others is so wrapped in itself it gives him an emotional handicap and an utter inability to accurately asses his circumstances. i think he is absolutely correct in blaming the fact that he's defective and lacking something fundamental on his parents being the way they were. i do feel sympathy for both him and his mother. you're saying that his grandparents were good to him because they fed him, but don't forget their circumstances either. they were poor. poor enough to either sell their daughter into prostitution or just accept the fact, though i'm inclined to think that they sold her because it was commonplace to do that in order to cover debt and get rid of a hungry mouth. doesn't strike me as the most affectionate household. people keep pets and feed them, but they don't give their cats or dogs the kind of affection a child needs.

i do agree with you that there was obviously something very off about ogata from the very beginning. thing is, even with extremely mentally unstable parents, even with neglect, even with poverty, children rarely poison their mothers on purpose. sure his logic was simplistic and childish, he didn't do it out of malice or ill will, he even thought that he's doing it for her sake, but he still purposefully murdered her. people who aren't naturally missing a few screws don't do that, ogata was well past the age of not understanding why hurting others is wrong.

he's got plenty of traits that make him unlikeable as a person. he is petty, arrogant, self-absorbed, rude, selfish, treacherous, awkward, has poor social skills, berating, 0 charisma, a liar etc etc... these traits can be found aplenty in people who had happy childhoods too. would he still be an asshole if he had better circumstances? most probably. the difference is that he'd be much less likely to self-sabotage, wouldn't waste so much time on introspection, and wouldn't react to basic, human kindness with murder. at the end of the day he's a fictional character and not a real person, being the way he is is very deliberate and constructed, and if he were different or had a different life then he wouldn't be ogata.

(My response is below the dashed line)

hey, so. this is gonna be a long ass post i think, at least is long enough that tumblr’s inbox doesn’t approve. it’s just, at first i started reading this series bc the summary of medicine felt like the rest of fics of this kind, they hook up, go through some angst, make up, happy ending, an easy read basically. i was expecting it to be like the rest of them, it’s also a type of fic i’m not fond of, i don’t dislike them but i don’t seek them out you know? but it sounded interesting and medicine was so well written and the scene with hunk and pidge on the car left me wanting more... so i started reading the rest. i checked up the lovesick series and at first i was confused by the chapter format (1 chap of addition and the next is on side effects and so) but as i got more and more invested this type of format actually helped me to see the story from both sides more clearly. i spend three whole days reading every single word that was posted non-stop, finishing the chapters on ao3 and going straight up to tumblr because i couldn’t believe what a masterpiece, deserving of being one of the best works on this fandom, the lovesick series was. i was blown away, it felt like i was 10 yo again and i just found a book that i needed to finish as soon as i can or i couldn’t be able to rest. you made me feel a rollercoaster of emotions all the way, made me see how nothing, and i repeat nothing, is black or white in this life. how the communication is important. what i’m trying to say is, i’ve learnt a lot with your work.

i’ve learnt about all type of relationships, familial, friendship, romantic ones... i’ve learnt that we need patience with people, that we can’t drown on resentment, that we have to listen. that not all of us communicate the same way or know how to do it properly, to look closely for tiny details someone is showing us but we’re not paying attention to. more times that i can remember i found myself remembering scenes from lovesick when there’s a problem in real life, remembering how they solved it and applying into the real life situation and it worked, because it’s something i learnt from a fic but it’s something that /happens/. it’s not fiction. that’s way i undoubtedly feel like this work is reality put into words.

lovesick taught me to always think of remembering to try and see things from all the perspectives, to not get stuck into one point of view without thinking. and yeah i know i sounds like before i was a human being with no sympathy which (i hope) i wasn’t, i actually always looked for the other’s person well-being first but, i’m not sure how to explain it, now is like i’m more calm about it?? you know how one of my last asks was about how i feel hurt for keith? it’s because that. i was like keith at first, acting impulsive and lost, but now everything’s just feel.... more mature. idk, sorry i’m being weird.

i also want to thank you for showing me how a healthy relationship should work, like i said i apply a lot of things i learnt from lovesick to my irl relationships, i never had a romantic partner and i always kind of freaked out about thinking about it but now i feel like it’s not really a big deal? like i’m gonna be okay? don’t get me wrong, i still freak out a lot about it but now i feel more relaxed!!

so anyway, sorry for this bible, thank you for sharing your writing with us, for teaching me so much and i hope you keep doing so! aaaand now im going back to my cave so i can die from embarrassment, have a good day!!❤️

((btw i wrote this on one go so it’s probably really messy and confusing but i needed to get this out ;;))

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Oh god. Oh man, okay. Uh. Whoa. I’m also writing as I think hence the..sloppiness. 

Just. 

God. Wow. I’m so- i don’t even know. I really dont know how to explain it. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that this fic has managed to affect someone as much as it’s affected you. I get whiplash hearing (or reading) it be described as a masterpiece or “the best fic in the fandom.” But it makes me so ridiculously happy that someone thinks so. 

I just. Thank you so so much for taking the time to write all of this to me. However messy, it really means a lot to me because I guess. I mean it can be hard writing fanfiction. It’s not something I get paid for, so all that time put into it isn’t really acknowledged in a way that lets me pay my bills, but I do it because I like writing and its fun and i make my own rules. And this community that has come from it has been so encouraging and amazing and I guess. When I get feedback like this, I guess it just feels like proof that regardless of getting paid or not, I’m making an impact. Which has always been the dream. To leave a legacy behind with my words, to affect someone the way that books used to affect my life, to be someones getaway when life is just too much. And messages like these are so validating because it doesn’t matter if this writing isn’t on a shelf at B&N, I’ve still managed to do that! I’ve managed to reach people in states and countries outside of mine! I’ve reached my dream. 

So don’t apologize for a long message or a messy one. When I say it means a lot, I really mean it. The words “It means a lot” suck to encompass the feeling but. I like rereading messages like this when I’m in a bad place and they all sort of reel me back from the edge. So thank you. Thank you so so much <3 

theory asker anon here yet again! sorry for bothering you about tsukasa again hh, but i do want to ask for some advice! im considering writing something for him, both for his human self and current self, but im not super duper sure on how to portray his personality. and how to make him both sympathetic and.... not?? i suppose?? aaa i hope this is understandable.

You’re not bothering me, anon. It’s okay.

Tsukasa is a weird character to write because by nature you’re going to have to extrapolate due to a lack of information. Basically, a reliance on headcanon and theories as to how and why he is the way that he is. This is the case with pretty much every character, mind you, because fanfic writers tend to portray characters in situations that haven’t been explored in canon, but the more unknown variables you have, the more strongly this becomes the case.

This can be a good thing and a bad thing, but we haven’t the time to go into that.

I can’t really tell you how to portray the character because y’know, I’m not an authority on that, but for me... It’s a matter of paying attention to a lot of his little quirks and expanding on them, and also just...a matter of preference.

My favorite things about Tsukasa is his childishness, his matter-of-fact and sometimes literal-minded view, and his easygoing nature. He’s a character of simple joys, and I find that precious. However, he can and will kill you if it either suits his fancy or if you get in his way. Sometimes this can be done playfully but, much scarier is when violence is just his instinct at someone getting in his way and he has a blank expression on his face when he does it. I feel like a lot of people miss out on that which is a shame because it, to me, is far more worrying behavior.

To me, Tsukasa’s character is one of intense and unsettling contrast. He’s very cute and small, but he’s also a ticking time bomb. What gets me is the uncertainty. He does things, yes, but he doesn’t always do things, y’know? He can just as easily decide against hurting a person even when his instinct is to do so as he can decide to hurt someone to accomplish a goal. That he’s capable is scary enough, but it’s in being fickle/unpredictable where the true intimidation factor lies.

What really gets my attention though is just how unusual his relationship with Hanako really is. Like a lot of people go the obsessive brother route but while Tsukasa is that, he’s not to the extent that fans portray. He doesn’t mind Nene, in fact he definitely likes her as opposed to his utter indifference towards Kou. He actually shares his brother’s fascination with stars to the point where he gets really excited when trying to show what he sees with Amane/Hanako. While undoubtedly fixated on Amane/Hanako, it’s...really weird and difficult to explain the nuances between that and usual obsessive sibling behavior. It exists but it’s not a driving force in his character. While his instinct is to cling to Amane/Hanako, he’s not possessive. It’s actually very rare that he actively seeks out Amane/Hanako. Pretty much the only time I can think of where he does that is his first proper appearance and in an old announcement post on AidaIro’s twitter that included Tsukasa demanding “Amane” for Christmas.

(From here, for the curious.)

(Translation: 'What do you want for Christmas?' 'AMANE' 'That's what I thought you'd say...' 'You have him? Do you!?')

When it comes to sympathy I don’t...really think about that. There is definitely a stink of tragedy around him, because the fact of the matter is that he was killed young by someone he was very close to and loved quite dearly. He had not only his future taken away, but any chance of physical maturation, making him permanently stunted. Regardless of the circumstances, Tsukasa had been betrayed in a really terrible way...and yet, he still adores his brother whole-heartedly. Rather disturbingly, he’s seemed to have categorized his death as a good thing due to how it provided Amane with a sense of release and that...makes me pretty sad in its implications.

I guess...I find him a very pure-hearted character, overall. Innocent, definitely. And what’s that Pokemon BW quote? “There’s nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence”? Yeah. Tsukasa’s definitely an example of that, and we still don’t even know if he’s a victim of manipulation or not.

I don’t think Tsukasa is inherently sympathetic. I think he should be, but he’s probably not. He lacks consideration and remorse, be it for others or even himself on occasion. A lot of his personality could be chalked up to lack of maturity in addition to a lack of empathy. He’s a child, and he has some of the worst traits a child could have. Not all of them. But some of them. And for some people, that’s more than enough reason to not care for him. And while I think several fandom assumptions/interpretations are wrong, it’s not my business how people feel. It still saddens me how people miss out on the nuances of his character in favor of a more straight-forwardly villainous approach. I feel like if you miss out on the nuances, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

Sometimes, it’s all about the little things!

As for his human self, we literally have no idea what human Tsukasa was like beyond the fact that he can do katanuki for hours and threw fits when interrupted. My personal favorite headcanon is that he was super rambunctious but isn’t like...y’know super terrible. He could be tactless and shitty at times, being a child, but I prefer the idea of those traits being far more magnified as a supernatural. Still a little feral, but he could’ve turned out fine-ish under better circumstances. Unfortunately those better circumstances never came.

Ahhhh, I just went off and I have no idea if any of this is helpful. I hope it is. :’>

⭐🥀TRIGGER WARNING!!

Introducing Last Night At 3AM. I Lost Control. Yet Another Breakdown, I Had about 30 breakdowns. No pity sympathy or attention. && NO I WAS NOT ON DRUGS! I'm over 1 year sober. Alvaro took over (one of my demons/alters) && Dancing Fire (another one) possessed me to the point I almost got a cop call. I don't wanna be a burden &: I wanna save fix care support be there for everyone and everything. I'm sick of being alive. But I can't do anything stupid cuz of me getting concerved to a state institution (which is way different than a mental hospital) cuz I've been in 215 mental hospitals & got diagnosed Critically/Clinically Insane plus over 10+ mental hospitals. All I have is my mom. The breakdowns the vivid flashbacks the mental illnesses getting 10x worse. No treatment will take me cuz I've been to all of them to many times. I can't process anything. My mind imprisons me. I dissociate 89 to 99% of the day. I've been thru every single sorts of treatments/medication I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018. I'm losing my mind. And everyday it's the same thing and people get tired of hearing it.I'm so done with dealing with this everyday. I don't need sympathy. I just don't know man. My mom&& lil brother doesn't want me home, I can't explain what's wrong or going on. I don't wanna be a burden. I'm sorry man. I wanted to self harm again but I didn't. Imagine all my mental illnesses multiplied by 10. Imagine EVERYDAY HAVING VIVID FLASHBACKS AND 22+ Mental Breakdowns a day. I.am sorry if I'm negative. I'm sorry. I just wanna save and fix the world. When people ask me "how are u" idk how much reply. I'm sick of my mind. I feel like darkness is controlling me. I pray A LOT. Alvaro literally possesses me and gets in my body. I have mostly every mental health diagnosis there is. And NO I'M NOT PROUD OF IT I'M NOT BRAGGING OR GLORIFYING It. I just wanna help everyone and everything. Along the my mental health, I have autism, narcolepsy anorexia Etc. My diagnosis list is so long and I don't wanna be known for that. I can't even leave my house. When ever I feel a lil bit better, here comes Alvaro. But again I don't wanna be a burden. It's my job to be there for everyone else NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I can't take this anymore. No pity sympathy or attention. I can't seek help cuz then they'll send me to a institution cuz I've been in to many mental hospitals. I'm doing the best I can. But I'm about to snap. I can't function. And I'm getting worse. I don't want attention I want to be OK. I've dealt with all this hell most of my life. It's hard to explain. On top of that. My physical state is getting worse. I'm finding more reasons to die than to live. I'm over 1 year sober. I'm a huge hypocrite when it comes out taking my own advice. I don't love myself. But i am over caring sensitive and I help obsessively. I repeat myself idk I'm just not OK. I'm losing contact with reality. I'm scared to keep going. But I got this.🥀⭐

🥀⭐Your Enough

Your Worth It.

Your Life Has Purpose

This To Shall Pass

Im here for all y'all in anyway I possibly can.

I'm sorry if I'm annoying. I'm sorry

Stay Strong && Keep Breathing ⭐🥀

🌙🌙🔥🔥🖤🖤🥀🥀HUGE TRIGGER WARNING🥀🥀🖤🖤🔥🔥🌙🌙

🥀🥀🔥🔥Hey my name is Izzy && I'm a recovering drug addict && alcoholic with over 1 year sober. This is the longest I've been sober being out of treatment. I've used mostly every drug there is. Being homeless 13 times. In 215 mental hospitals. In 3 foster homes (2 out of 3 were abusive) group homes, unlocked and locked treatment centers, rehabs shelters, crisis centers. Short and long term treatment centers. Which none will take me back cuz I've been there to many times. I've sold myself && got tortured abused raped drugged up for drugs and money to raise my unbio son, Anthony. I lost custody cuz of false accusations. I've had multiple near death experiences (some were suicide attempts && some were naturally done) my drug of choice was meth. I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018, over 10+ mental illnesses. Some were caused from a few bad trips on PCP that I never came back from. I was sleeping anywhere I could rest my head, I had to be alert at all times. Tbh I havent been to a meeting in awhile. My sponsor is like family to me. I'm redoing all my steps. I'm on step 2. I've lost a shit ton of people to drugs and I was literally getting cop calls everyday. Drugs messed with my life. And having this much clean time is amazing. Most of my life I've gotten abused raped, literally tortured and drugged up. Sold. Prostituted, almost killed. But no pity sympathy or attention pls. Any clean time is good time. And I'm proud of all of you in recovery drug addiction is a special kinda hell. Drugs become your priority and your best friend. I got tortured on the daily by people coming in one by one torturing me from orders from Kimberly (my ex fiance who hung herself in front of me) it was one by one. I got so caught on in drugs that it was the only way I knew. I used to numb the pain. I'm so blessed I found God again. Now I have 22+ mental breakdowns a day every day. I found out it had a lot to do with my drug use.🔥🔥🥀🥀

🥀🖤Thank you for breathing even when u wanted to die. Drugs kill you. There's nothing about it to be proud of its serious. You Matter Yo Important Yo A Someone Yo Enough Yo Worth It Yo Have A Purpose, Yo Have A Story, A Message, A Voice, A Reason, Yo A Warrior, A Soldier, A Survivor, A Fighter. You Are U && NoOne Can Be You, But YOU. Your Life Matters YOU MATTER, Yo Life Has Value &% I'm Glad Your Alive. Thank U For Being Alive. People say that I help everyone and everything obsessively && I don't stop. It's very true. This is a shout out to my unbio son that I raised as my own, Anthony Castillo-Martinez, I met him at one of the many abusive foster homes. Where it was owned illegally by Andrea/Angela && Jimmy Miller. We got tortured daily. They were not licensed foster parents. I met Lil Toni there and I escaped with him to meet up with Kimberly. We lived in a run down hotel in LA. I became homeless again. Toni got me through so much and even tho I can't find him (he's been gone for years) your my lil baby. I will always love u. U are my world and one day I hope to see u again. I hope you have a good home now. Going to school. Just doing well in general. And I'm sorry for you witnessing what Kimberly was doing to me. I love u babes with all my heart. 🖤🥀

🖤🔥🥀I failed Cedar House twice. This was a rehab in San Bernardino, California. I lied my way out. And I regret it. Funny thing is I already read the entire NA Basic Text && The AA Big Book. I have multiple sobriety apps on my phone and I have an app that that has NA && AA Speakers on it. I'm reading the How && Why and I'm so proud of myself && I couldn't have got this far without my sponsor, Jaclyn. She understands me better than any sponsor I've had in recovery. Here's a list of my mental disorders, some were caused Or made worse by drugs and alcohol🥀🔥🖤

🌙🔥🔥Schizo-Affective, Bipolar

ADHD, OLD, ODD,

PTSD, Insomnia

Depression, Anorexia

Anxiety, Autism

Borderline Personality Disorder

Severe Brain Damage

Attachment Disorder

Dissociative Identity Fund..

Multiple Personality Disorder

Narcolepsy, Critically/Clinically Insane🔥🔥🌙

🖤🥀Listen I don't need your pity, sympathy or attention these were all diagnosed by over 5 psychiatrists, and diagnosed "Insane" by over 10 doctors. DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE!!!! Anyways. I attempted suicide over 100 times. Self harmed in anyway possible. They say I'm the most high maintenance case in the system of California. And the next time I go to a mental hospital I'm getting sent to a state institution. I would do anything to get drugs. Jeremy && Izzie Baraz were my street partners. They both passed away. All I have left in blood family is my mom and brother. My mom. Says if I pick up drugs one more time I'm never aloud back in her house. My dad injected me with meth and heroin at age 9, he also tortured me daily. He passed away in 2011. I'm glad he's dead. But I take full responsibility for my drug and alcohol habits. And I hope I never go back. One Day At A Time.🥀🖤

🔥🥀This To Shall Pass, If Not Today There's Always Tomorrow

God, Grant Me The Serenity

To Accept The Things I Cannot Change

The Courage To Change The Things I Can. &&

The Wisdom To Know The Difference

Amen🥀🔥

🔥🔥Keep Coming Back It Works If You Work It🔥🔥

🔥🔥A Moment Of Silence, For The Addict Who Still

Suffers, In And Out Of These Rooms🔥🔥

🔥🔥Staying Clean, Im Never Going Back🔥🔥

🥀🖤I almost relapsed again on New Year's. I almost asked a stranger to buy me Vodka. But God told me to stop.

I'm Always Here 4 All Of You, No matter What.

I'd Do Anything To Keep Y'all Alive && Breathing. To Make U OK. to Save && Fix U && Take Your Pain Away. I Love Y'all. Keep Coming Back.🖤🥀

I just wanna rant (TW ABUSE/DRUGS)

I feel like i wanna start just venting on tumblr bc it seems like everyone else does it and i just wanna vent to random people right now about my childhood and about my mother, bc i bring it upon people in my personal life too often and in inappropriate ways, except there just never is an appropriate way to do it. I just don’t wanna be a killjoy anymore. its really just therapeutic to me to write it out.

My mom has put me through no physical pain, but emotional pain to the extent that it hurts physically. It started even when I was a baby. Even as a little toddler she treated me how she does now, literally talking to me as if I was her friend. I have never ever received verbal affection from her in my entire life. I get an “I love you” once a month and maybe a hug if I initiate it, but that’s it. She won’t even cook me dinner unless I ask, and I am still a minor living under what’s supposed to be her roof. But the situation at hand now where she doesn’t even try to come see me or support me in any way, basically starting life over with a brand new family isn’t even what hurts me the most. It hurts me the most the situations she put me into as a literal child that a child should never be put into. I almost hate her for it. I almost hate her for making me live in that grimey tattoo artist’s duplex whose carpet was nearly black from how many cigarettes he smoked in the house, and I almost hate her for letting him make fun of me and make me genuinely believe I was stupid when I was a little kid in Kindergarten. When I see kindergarteners, I can’t believe that as a mother, she allowed me to be hurt in such a way that I was scared in my own house and I would cry at night because I didn’t know where she was and people I didn’t know were doing drugs in my house and i fucking knew it. Kindergarteners shouldn’t even know what drugs or alcohol are. I almost hate her for marrying the father of my brother, but not quite because I love my sweet brother so much and if it weren’t for that, i wouldn’t have him in my life. His father had no regard for me or my other brother’s feelings. He sold my precious treasures that I loved because he knew it’d hurt me and he needed money for a fucking dime bag. He even tried to pawn off my childhood dog. Fuck that. He is the source of my anxiety today. Imagine having anxiety as a nine year old. Genuine, debilitating, shaky anxiety attacks in third grade. It hurt me so much that my mom watched me get hurt and insulted by her husband and never once defended me. He always called me irresponsible and bossy. After I finally convinced her to break up with him and found us an apartment to live in, I thought everything would be good. Not even one month later my mom had a new boyfriend living with us, this one the worst. He was violent, mean, and mentally ill. I can’t even describe to you how much this man terrifies me, and if I see someone who even a little bit resembles him in public I get really scared. He was addicted to a lot of hard drugs and he was also a severe alcoholic. He called me hardheaded and made fun of my body. He made everything miserable. He gave my little brothers and myself so much trauma he is the one person in this world I can regretlessly say that i hate. i hate him so much. Fuck you for ruining my life. Fuck you for hitting my brother. Fuck you for threatening to “smash his skull in” when he was FOUR YEARS OLD. I fucking hate you. You’re a pathetic excuse of a human being and i will never feel sorry for you. You’re the one person in this world that doesn’t deserve a second shot at life. You deserve to struggle with your addictions and receive no sympathy from anybody. You brought me shame. My friends laughed at me because of you. I had no friends because of you. You robbed me of my most essential teenage years. You brought disgusting fleas lice and bedbugs into my previously pristine house. Another thing my best friend and her family fucking shamed me for, which was so humiliating as a 14 year old. You destroyed every single piece of my life and I still havent healed even though I haven’t seen you since the June before freshman year. He stole all my art supplies from my room as punishment for telling my dad what was happening, then stole my moms car after he already totaled her last one, so yeah fuck you. And fuck you for eating up all of my moms money on coke heroin and vodka. I never ate breakfast lunch or hardly even dinner. imagine starving children and laying on your ass without getting a job. When i told my dad my mom got pissedand didn’t care how hungry i was. That day when you hit my brother you were blocking the door and wouldnt let me leave the house because i called my dad to pick us up. I pushed past you while my mom cried and cursed me out for ruining everything. Fuck you for that mom. Nothing was my fault. You are the one to blame for making me the way i am today. It’s all your fault. This is why i don’t even care that you dont give me affection because why would i want affection from someone like you. The entire way you didnt care AT ALL about your three children’s childhood fucking disgusts me and determines me to treat my future children with the utmost care. They will get all their emotional needs met. They will live in a clean home with quality clothes to wear, food to eat, and enrichment. They will know I care about their experience in life. they will know i love them. All of this is not thanks to you, its thanks to myself for making an effort to do better than you. Actually, thank you mom for inspiring me to live a much more fulfilling and beautiful life than you. Do better in ur next life.

Well now that that emotional rant is done, I just want to share that I’m reading a really enriching book right now called “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.” So much of it is reflected in my mother as well as her boyfriends. It’s helping me to clear my mind and draw conclusions and feel not so alone and not feel the need to seek attention from others for what im going through. Id highly recommend it to anyone who is the child of an emotionally immature parent.

I'm not blaming my mental illness, it's an explanation and it's not an excuse. I literally cannot control myself in a lot of things and I'm trying to make it better. The amount of mentally deblititating shit I've been through is enough that I'm barely functional. I can't hold jobs, I can't leave my house, and I look for every possible option to harm myself and it's something that I need to fix but I never get that far. I'm being sincere, I really am. I've been upset but it's been more than just you guys. Sixx and I talk, Kiev and I talk, Remy is hard to talk to a lot and you even more so. But I've got a lot of people I've been having issues with, such as 8bit, etc. Friens i've made outside ofyou guys that yesterday it stupidly came to a head.

It's not an excuse. My autism makes it extremely hard for me to understand a lot of things. I never knew that I turned subjects, and there were times where I would want to help but I wouldn't know what to say so I'll keep quiet and watch others speak and if I have something to add on i'll try. I know there are times I'll move on but usually I do it if I assume that whats done is done and it's appropriate. That's my autism, I don't _know_ and if I've been doing this I need to be spoken to. I don't hate you, I'm still at apoint where I'm scared that you hate me, that you don't want to rp with me.

I really do always want to rp with you I just don't know how with some of the muses I've picked.  I feel like I bother you compared to the others bcause you're always gushing about remy and kiev but when i've done stuff I get lackluster words in comparison to how you gush about the others so I get self conscious and my brain assumes well I'm just not good enough so crown's sugar coating it for me. It's stupid and wrong but it's what my brain does.

Myheads a stupid catastrophe and against it's not an excuse. Half of what you said last night was a huge surprise to me even. I was not aware of anyhting I was doing. And I bring up bee/dee because. idk.  I'm tying to gauge your guys response because I'm debating actually seeing about them joining the group.

And Idk. i haven't been spending much time with them till recently, and I get excited and want to share things with everyone. I. A lot of these issues are misunderstandings on my end, but I need tobe directly spoken to about a lot of them because i don't understand. I really dn't 90% of the time.  But like yesterday, Idk. i felt like I was being put out, because it was all of  you guys and no one had said a word to me.

I burst through TG because I wanted to be able to talk to you and Sixx about it, I always wanna rp with you guys and do stuff with you guysbut I'm awkward and Idk how to do anything at this point. And you not feeling -- Idk. I don't know how it came off that way, esp because I've been sitting here in the same position. Like you just aren't interested in RPing with me. I've been anxious ever since that thing with Camie, I felt like yes maybe you liked me but didn't really want to rp so you were putting on a front to make me feel better.

I love rping with you.

Half the time literally all I do is wait for replies from you and sixx and Remy. The reason I've been trying to show that I'm making friends is so that I stop clinging so hard because all I've done is cling to you guys.AlL i've done is sit there and be needy and want all of you guys attention because  I love you guys so much but my head gets fucking foggy and then this shit happens.

I want to get better and I want to fix things. And if you're still questioning my sincerity pelease don't because i don't apologize like this to anyone I don't give a flying fuck about I don't put that kind of energyand attention into people I don't careabout. It'd be one word shit or just a 'sorry about last night'. Not me attempting to make anything of it. I'm a fucked up person but I will not be disengenuous about things like this.

Crown I'm so fucking intimidated by you. I'm almost scared of you. I look up to you in so many ways that I've come to resent it a littlebecause I feel like I'm not good enough because I deseperate seek your approval and I rarely get any sort of response from you and it's frustrating. Crown you're like a literal senpai to me. I mean fuck I only remade that kirishima because I wanted so badly to try and rp closer to you.

And then boku became really triggering for me and I tried to branch out. I'm useless tomyself. I'm a walking suicide bomb. That's all I am. And the longer I have friends the worse I act because of that. because I don't expect people to stay around, because I start to act more like me which is a fucking underdeveloped sack ofshit that doens't understand what I'm doing half the time.

I really need the guidance of my friends when I do something wrong. I really, really do. Even if you just dm me about what I did like if I turn a subject or something. Please tell me. please I'm begging you because I reallydon'tfucking understand so much I realy don't. I'm begging you crown I don't mean to do this, I don't mean to do any of this and I really.

Ineed my friends help to try and be better and i'm pleaing with you and the others to help me get better on this front, on things that my therapist can't really touch yet. I'm fcuking crying like a scrub because this really is fucking important to me. Making a change, making a fix, being _sorry._ I only bring up my mentalillness because I want you to understand what's lead me to this response or thought process or whatever because maybe then i can try to fix it while i wait on medicines and things to fix me better.

I hate it but despite being haha super smart I'm like a fucking 15 y/o in a 24 y/o's body. mentally so much of me is still back in 9th grade before the torture incident that made it impossible for me to talkto people the way i need to. everything still feels so fresh  and i can't make my brains top thinking that it's all going to go back to the start.

I'm just.I' begging you to please understand me and that I'm meaning everything and I really do want to make a change. that everything i've done was not in that intention and the way i looked at things i didn't see them for what they were. like the vaguing. i posted it as a way to get my thoughts out because i was toiling in my own head, i never meant for it to hrt or BE a vague poost but thats exactly what it was. A vague post. the only person close enough to me is my damn father.

i dont know.pealse dont take this all as me trying to buy sympathy or god knows what else i'm really breaking down to the realest me i can. im not on the same level as any ofyou, i feel like a pretender in my ownbody, some broken down child trying to play with the grown ups and throwing temper tantrums because i don't know how to handle anything. all ido is care about you guys but  dont do it the right way or well and i just.i dont want pity but i want understanding and i want to try and make it better.

i dont want to be scared anymore. i dont want to be scared of my friends but i am. and because ofthat im pushing. and im just. i want to be normal. i wish i was normal, or even at least ony our guys levels of functioning. i wish i wasn't a fucking stupid moron  about everything. i wish i could just flip a switch and be a better person. that's why i cut,because in my head its like if i cut enough if i make mself bleed enough i'l bleed the bad away and it'll be okay i'll be better and i won't be so tainted for you guys and i'll be okay and it'll be all okay.

because to learn something when i did something wrong i was always punished and i can't get past it still i just can't. and now no one eventells me when i do something wrong and i just want to know so i can fix it. thats all. every lastbit of this is meaningful. itsall serious its all me. imbaring myself as much as i can and im trying not to make excuses i just dont understand so much i can't comprehend i can't i can't i can't.

i'm sorry crown i'm sorry. i'm sorry i'm sorry. it just sounds like more excuses but it's not i just want to explain i just want to explain m head because everything is hard and i never know when i do something wrong until it's too late.