#im sorry but this whole situation is so fucking funny to me
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personal vent/problem post idk how you call those but whatever. i need to get it out somehow so fuck it. if anyone feels like going through the tags. 1st why would you do that to yourself?. 2nd help a girl out pls
#re: my last post and the 'is this how people function or is it just me' crisis so bear with me even tho its wayy too tmi and personal#yes i did try talking to one of my friends when it first became a SituationTM but she has life going on and i didnt pust bc im in denial#now its a month later and SituationTM: sequel has happened#shortest version of situation 1: a guy kissed me (and then we continued doing that for a while. but nothing more) after a date#spent the whole time thinking about what im doing. that its weird and that i probably was bad at it. only thoughts no feelings#and i walked away from there feeling very 'people like doing that????? i dont want to do it again' <- this is the problem area!#anyways short context i knew him from other things before and he started flirting with me and asked me on a date over texts#now i said yes bc he was funny and nice and i did entertain those messages bc it was fun and it felt nice#idk the protocol for this yall. how do you judge if you say yes or no to a date (that was the first time someone asked me out seriously)<-#so i was not head over heels. but also i would not say yes or make out with a stranger bc thats just weird for me personally#now SituationTM sequel: another guy i've been friends with for half a year told me a bit ago while he was drunk that he really liked me and#he knows i dont feel the same doesnt expect anything. just wants me to be aware since we're close and he values our friendship#i basically said yeah ur right im sorry. he said thats fine i'll be sad for a bit but no worries. thought u had the right to know#and the thing is we are still friends and it didnt get awkward or anything but. ofc theres a but.#problem area no1 -> he is really nice and i like him. talking to him hanging out. i feel really comfortable around him etc#but when i think about anything in a relationship sense. theres nothing there. or at least i dont recognise that there is.#ik he is hurting and trying to get over it.but i still want to hang out and wont reject him when he spends time with me or hugs me or whate#he did that before anyways. even though i feel that might be making it worse in the long term for him. but i want the hugs and company :(#and i do like that he likes me on some level? is that weird? like i like knowing that im someones fav person#and fuck it would be so much easier if i did have the same feelings. bc i do like him and i trust him and all the things.#i just dont think the feelings i have are the feelings people in relationships have. cus some of my very close friends i feel the same for.#and after the first Situation i thought ok maybe the guy is the problem. but if i try to put this one into his place. its still nopeee.#so uhhh. what the fuck do i do with me? is it the person. is it the gender. is it the relationship in general? which part isnt clicking????#i could provide additional info to help with that question but im afraid i have no relevant experience info except lack of experience#do with that what you will#if you made it to here im sorry#i will try to word vomit all of this on one of my friends later today if i get enough courage to try and go through with it#(and manage to express my emotions in my native language *gags*)
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Yknow what makes me reaentful? How ive been sexually abused so much growing up, no one did shit besides shove me off to a therapist, ive been promised by feminist spaces that ill have a place to heal within them, and as soon as my abusive ex tries to smear me and project their behavior on to me by accusing me of doing that shit too, all the sudden everyone acts suspicious, and i still dont get any of that promised healing. Its hard not to feel like my ex did this intentionally to prevent me from having a space to heal. And its my issue with the "believe victims" narrative because it seems to me like people dont actually want to believe victims but to believe the victims they *like* and *agree more with politically*. If people can just say whatever about someone and you feel obligated to believe them because "believe victims", its very clearly going to be exploited by abusive people, and while i dont think we should stop per se, we need to have some sort of actual system to vet who is and isnt telling the truth, like a pseudo-courtroom. At the very least let everyone and their side of the story actually be heard. Bc idk how you guys plan to believe two victims at once who are accusing eachother other than throwing your hands up and picking one or deciding that we're both bad, which doesnt seem very fair to me since people seem to looove demonizing me for no discernable reason.
#anyways ive lost faith in feminist spaces in actually being a place to heal#it kinda just feels like cliques to me dawg.#maybe it used to be sorta healing but i never actually got to find a support system or anything anywhere.#like idk man. maybe the reason ppl go to the right is bc yall are cutthroat and do everything based on vibes.#if i cant even get help and healing from yall like you promise whats the feminism label even for besides for spreading awareness?#because i feel like ill always be excluded because i dont fit the recquired aesthetic.#there needs to be a space for dudes to go to heal too. and id ideally not have to go to one of the mra type spaces.#idk but im just disenchanted with this whole movement. so many unfulfilled promises.#too many terfs infiltrating it also.#im left out in the cold and no one cares and everyone pretends to care about victims but cant even bring themselves to image that i#was the one who was victimized. why should i rely on these spaces at all. its clear yall favor the more fem person in any situation#like this.#also unrelated but related this website is trash and most people on here suck so fucking much.#the mostly cliquey cutthroat spaces for being so 'caring' like you like to think yourselves as.#'oh well we have to be careful so just in case we're gonna kick you out!!' oh really#is that the feminism you were talking about?#youll leave me out on the streets based on a rumor? and if you find out theyre lying then what will you do? are you gonna come over to me#weeping about how you shouldnt have believed them and how sorry you are? bc chances are ill already be dead from starving#but yknow. believe whatever anyone says about someone else. sorry i meant victims*#itd be so so funny to me if someone came up to me with that justification for why they ostracized me and then be like 'how can you be mad!#i didnt know better!! you cant be mad at people for not knowing better >:(' the hell i fucking cant lmao!#yall perpetuated a narrative about me to actively grind my name in the dirt. and im not allowed to be mad?#yall ostracized and excluded me from spaces i need to rely on for community and healing.#yall did nothing for me and threw me in the fucking trash. yeah. i think im allowed to be upset with you and want you to go fuck yourself.#if you believed them and found out theyre a liar. cool. leave me the fuck alone though. go make a post about it and try to rectify the#situation you contributed to you pos.#yknow. maybe itd be one thing if you believed them and i didnt do anything and you apologized.#its a WHOLE OTHER FUCKING THING. WHEN YOU BELIEVE THEM. IM INNOCENT. AND *IM*THE ONE WHO WAS#SEXUALLY ABUSED AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED TO THE FUCKING MOON AND BACK. and then think an apology is enough.#like go fuck yourself. ive been alone with this trauma this whole time you pieces of shits.
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anxiety so bad there is p much a cig in my hand at all times
#chainsmoking is my.go to when im upset / bored / anxiois esp when im out of weed.#im . loving life im so fucming UBCOMFORTABLE#having intense emotions and reactions and being uncomfortable experiencing all of them is so funny#anyway. i do keep thinking abt my tjerapy awssion bc i came to two conclusions abt things#its fine its fine i feel like im on fire.#two weeks. i gotta get through 2wks#im trying to focus on the positive side of things but fuck#there is a reason i numbed myself for the whole entirety of my teenagedom an dits bc i fucking HATE feeling#and im still half expecting a mssg saying *lol this is too much for me to even try and deal with im done sorry*#which would be understandable but my god.#id be fineeee if i did bc ive come out kf worst situations#if i survived the narcissism tbar is my mother i can survice an emotionally immature man 😗
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well good day to all of you. i have a tale. a classified, certified absolute god tier disaster of a tale.
at the ripe hour of 6:45 am i was awoken from my slumber by a Noise. what sort of noise? you might be asking.
the sort of noise that usually accompanies my father getting up at the ass crack of dawn and trying not to turn on the tap loudly so that he doesnt wake us up.
for one blissful moment i thought that i was at home, in my bed, and all was right with the world.
and then i remembered that i live approximately four hours away from my parents and all is not right with the world.
so i did what any person would do. waited for the noise to go away.
but it did not.
so i investigated. in all my bleary eyed glory.
and found that my bathroom ceiling light was pissing.
not just a little either.
a severe, unauthorized amount of water was streaming out of my bathroom light fixture.
so after banging on katyas door and finding a bucket and throwing on a sweatshirt i dragged my tired ass down to the front desk and reported the tea as it were.
now one thing you need to know about our building is that it is old. the second thing you need to know about our building is that the maitenance guys (we call them the boys) are absolutely incredible, like tumblr funny guy posts but irl, however they take for fucking ever to respond to any situation.
this time though, nothing was in clear danger of exploding or lighting on fire. so we made some breakfast. drank some coffee. watched the bucket that we had put in the bathroom fill up with water. and we waited.
and waited.
and waited some more.
then i noticed that if you stepped on some of our kitchen floor tiles they started squelching.
so back downstairs i went and explained the tea as it were once again.
and let it be known, that i worked for two very solid and very miserable years as a resident assistant in college. i know all about the woes of people complaining to you to fix things that you cannot fix and you cannot tell them when it will be fixed because the person who needs to do the fixing is otherwise indisposed. so my general attitude towards this whole situation was "hey man you can't make this better for me and im really not pressed about it as long as someone eventually comes and sorts out my pissing ceiling." which is a great attitude to have in this general situation. and especially so because it was about to get even more strange.
at approximately 9:30am our apartment was graced by the presence of one of the boys. the maintenance man. we will call him james.
we have encountered james before. he delt with our fuse box nearly exploding. that situation was not nearly as chill as this one was.
hes also incredible.
so he comes in and he goes "hey how's it going" and i say "well you know things are just leaking!"
he proceeds to tell us that the fridge in the apartment above us had a connection pipe that froze and exploded some how and that managed to leak all into our apartment. not nearly what i was expecting but hey! at least they know what's going on!
we tell him about the squelching tiles and he says that he will bring us a dehumidifier after he turns off the water and deals with the mess of the fridge above us. we say ok great! this is wonderful!
and he goes to leave the apartment. out of habit i had locked the door when he entered. he goes "aw man did you lock me in?"
and i say
"oh sorry!"
and he pauses.
and he looks at our door in disbelief. perhaps even utter horror.
and this, my lovely audience, is what he was looking at:
surprisingly. he was not staring at the entertainment for man and horse plaque that katya and i found while thrifting. nay. he was staring at the unfortunate combination of the printed photo of lando norris and max verstappens face.
now why are lando norris and ax verstappen on the back of my door? you might be asking. you might even be asking who they are.
and if youve been following the lore of this blog, you might recognize them as formula 1 drivers. lando norris of course being a mclaren driver and max verstappen being the reigning world champion of team red bull.
and how did they wind up on my door? well at christmas katya thought it would be funny to put a picture of lando norris on top of our christmas tree and so we got one printed at cvs but when you get wallet sized photos printed they print you four of them so we ended up with four of the same photo of lando. one went on the tree, one went to my sister, one is in our bathroom and now one is on the back of our door.
as for max. well. katyas partner drinks red bull and he was on the red bull box so we cut him out and stuck him there. neither of us are particularly big max fans, it was just funny.
but anyway. i digress.
james is standing there staring at this array of perplexing stuff and goes.
"really? him??"
and i go
"yeah..." not knowing what else to say.
and james turns. and he looks at us. and he goes. and i shit you the absolute fuck not.
"now what's wrong with lewis hamilton???"
(sir lewis hamilton being the mercedes f1 driver, 7 time world champion and absolute icon)
and katya and i go
"oh no no! we love lewis hamilton! we just respect him too much to put him on the door!"
which is true
and james goes "now what did you think of him going to ferrari?"
and i say "i thought it was an interesting choice"
and katya says "i was surprised."
and james says "you and me both" and then he shuts the door behind him.
katya and i look at eachother. and we both fall to the floor in fits of laughter.
let it be known that james has come face to face with a giant tapestry of mr worldwide mr 305 pitbull himself that is in our bathroom, on several occasions, and yet, he chooses to comment on our choice of formula 1 driver that is taped to the back of our door.
im still in a state of disbelief. my ceiling is still pissing. my floor is still squelching. and my maintenance man felt the need to call our my choice of formula 1 driver at 9:30 on a saturday morning.
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percy x zeus!gf hcs pls!!! and could i request it to be more on the funny side and how percy and zeus have beef but also get along cuz of gf
ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.
percy jackson dating hcs ! ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
pairing: percy jackson x daughter of zeus!reader
warning(s): little bit of swearing
a/n: hi! ty for requesting <3 im literally not funny but i hope u enjoy thissss! also theres a lotta taylor in this one 🤭
BIG REPUTATION BIG REPUTATION OHHH YOU AND ME WE GOT BIG REPUTATIONS AHHH
it doesnt matter if ur a social butterfly or antisocial, everybody knew you and percy before you even started dating
so best believe when u actually got together, everybody ( literally ) cheered
but omg your flirting era had to be on of the most painful things to watch
seriously doesnt matter if u got game or not, percy is literally oblivious and a LOSERRRRR
im so sorry but somebody had to say it
bro had THE BIGGEST crush on you and whenever he'd try to like compliment you itd usually sound a little weird
tell me why he'd probably say something like
"i like your outfit today! that shirt for sure looks better with those jeans than it did with the shorts you wore 2 weeks ago :)"
lil creep
cue silena crying in the corner bcs she made a bet with beckendorf and it is NOT looking good for her right now
WE NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE.
u guys are iconic
like well-known power couple
I'D be scared to train with you guys cause like wdym i gotta go against the best swordsmen at camp and the daughter of the king of the gods?? no thank you, i choose life ♡
when people are asked to think of a couple, they immediately think of you guys
everybody loves you guys fr
if you ever broke up ( which you wont, percy would probs just say "no" ) itd probably leave everybody super torn
BROOOO ITD BE LIKE IN GILMORE GIRLS WHEN LORELAI AND LUKE BROKE UP AND THE WHOLE TOWN LIKE TOOK SIDES
if you havent watched gilmore girls, that basically sums the situation up. lorelai is literally like the town's sweetheart and luke is the owner of the most popular diner in their small town ♡ very cutesy
so sorry for the spoiler
SALLY LOVESSS YOU
she's literally so sweet and treats you as if you were her own child
she'd definitely bake cookies when you first meet and if you liked them, you best believe you are being sent back to camp with a baggie full of cookies
yk what percy time
your literally his queen
( sorry i say literally a lot )
he treats you like royaltyyyyy
always opening doors for you, walks you everywhere, follows the sidewalk rule, everything ♡
when its raining, he picks you up bridal style and takes you wherever you need to go, so you dont get your shoes wet ♡♡
yall literally live in the rain tho
neither of you leave your cabin with an umbrella, the rain just gives you life
AND I DONT KNOW WHY BUT WITH YOU ID DANCE IN A STORM IN MY BEST DRESS FEARLESS
one time, you went out for a fancy dinner, got dressed up all nice very fancy very fancy
BUT you BOTH forgot to check the weather
and it ended up POURING rain by the time you got out of the restaurant
and i kid you not
percy just grabs you by the hand, leads you out into the rain, and begins to dance with you.
no coverage, no music, no fucks given. just him and his girl.
he treasures that moment forever and ever
all the gods looked down at you from olympus and melted
neither of you care if you're disrespecting your fathers, you spend almost every night together ♡
percy is absolutely a big cuddler
literally just adores the feeling of you close to him
oh lord save him his drug is his baby he'll be using for the rest of his life
falling asleep together is so easy, you just melt into each other's touch
waking up is what's harder
neither of you want to leave the bed, and neither of you want the other person to leave the bed either.
percy's the typa guy to just have a sweet little conversation with you before he gets up for the day
you always get a good morning ( and a good night! ), then percy asks you what's on your schedule for the day ( as if he hasn't memorized it by now ), and what you wanted for breakfast that morning
he simply cannot get up without it
he's also the typa guy to just whisper sweet nothings into your ear if he wakes up before you ♡
he just goes on a little ramble about how pretty you look when your sleeping, even though you are sleeping while he's 'talking' to you
sorry where was i?
ZEUS.
the bastrard HATES percy and percy HATES the bastard
theyve literally been beefing since he was 12 years old
so best believe when zeus found out his daughter was dating this mf son of poseidon, oo he was MAAAADDDDD
poseidon is literally so chill with you. like he just cares that percy is happy
zeus holds back everything in him to not kill percy on the spot every time you make out
he doesn't do it because he knows you'd probably walk to the underworld to get him back and hades would go feral if he got another orpheus & eurydice
percy gives zero fucks. he flips off the sky every time he walks outside
percy is so sweet and caring and kind and shows ur father such respect like hes literally an angel 😇😇
i wouldn't say that he starts like actually respecting him, but he tries not to offend him as often as usual, just for you ♡
in the scenario that you'd have to make a trip to olympus, percy and zeus put on their big boy pants and try to tolerate each other
hera dont like you or percy bro she's literally just there
its ok tho, you both despise her for kidnapping percy and wiping his memory ♡♡♡
JASON AND THALIA HOWEVER
thalia would definitely be the dramatic dad that zeus cant be (in person, at least)
whenever she and the hunters stay at camp she ( jokingly ) tells percy
"jackson, i want her home by NINE PEE EM. no later. i expect you won't be drinking, and you will be TAKING CARE OF HER. in the instance that i hear you DONT, i think you'll be taking a second trip across the river styx, you hear me?"
in like an old man voice and everything
percy plays along with it and salutes her going "yes ma'am!"
jason thinks yall are so cute together
since you were together before the whole switcheroo thingy, jason knew you first, and you were instantly best buddies
you told him about percy, and once he met him, he was happy to find out he was exactly like you described him
jason and thalia are ur #1 supporters ♡
in summary, alexa play that should be me
a/n pt.2: hihi! hope you enjoyed thatttt <3 i had sm fun writing these teehee, have a good day/night!
peace from manhattan,
percy jackson
#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson x reader#pjo x reader#heroes of olympus x reader#hoo x reader#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus#by bells ♡⋆ ࣪.
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if reqs r closed pls ignore this sorry im genuinely so blind so idk if u were taking them rn, but can i request “the captain will have to get involved pretty soon” situation from that fic where a new lieutenant joins, overall just like a part 2 where price does have to get involved 😭😭 like ghost is just so annoyed with this man
Hey reader! 🍫 No need to worry; I don’t have a “policy” on requests apart from the nsfw thingy (i don’t know how to write smut). Whatever comes, I accept it wholeheartedly! :)
Synopsis: Ghost and the new Lt. get in a fight. Price handles the situation accordingly and nobody is happy.
Relationship: Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader, Captain John Price
Word Count: 1,112
Notes:
For those who haven’t read Part 1, here it is.
Lots of swearing and mentions of physical injuries. Other than that, it’s fluff.
Want more?
———————————————————————
Yup. Unfortunately, the Captain had to get involved in the end.
Not just him, though; an entire room full of trained soldiers had to jump in and separate Ghost from almost strangling Lt. Wilson, or “Mr Toothless,” as he often referred to him.
Why “Mr Toothless”, you may ask? Well, Ghost decided to baptize the new lieutenant with that nickname for a couple of reasons.
First, he took your comment about Wilson’s fake teeth to heart. “If they’re fake,” he reasoned, “that means the fucker is already toothless and wears veneers to cover ’em up.”
And when you told him that’s not true since some people undergo cosmetic surgery to improve something they might have suffered an injury from, Ghost came up with his second reason as to why the new lieutenant is—or rather will be—toothless.
“Might have suffered an injury?” He contemplated. “Well, he’s about to suffer another one when I knock them out again.”
So, it was either “Mr. Toothless over there” or “Mr. Future Toothless one again.” Whatever the case, Ghost never called him by his real name, which started to piss off Lt. Wilson a whole lot. And that’s how it all escalated.
The breaking point came while at the briefing room, with Price at the head of the table and the two lieutenants seated across from each other. The rest of the team was strategically scattered around, avoiding being too close to Riley or Wilson. They were like furnaces, ready to burst at any time and burn you along with them, so you all figured it was best to stay as far away from them as possible.
Price was dividing the teams for the new mission: Team Alpha (Ghost’s Team) had to reach the target’s point by air, while Team Bravo (Wilson’s Team) would travel by land. The tipping point was when Price absentmindedly assigned you to Wilson’s team. Being Ghost’s Achilles’ heel, you were enough to light up a spark in the furnace. Wilson, on the other hand, was, in fact, a motherfucker. He knew that you, being assigned to his team, would piss Ghost off, so he turned towards you and winked upon hearing your name.
“Awesome,” he said, “doll’s with me.”
“Call them a doll again,” Ghost replied, “and I’ll make you as shiny and smooth as a Ken.” A threat that seemed nonsensical then but became clearer over time. And it wasn’t funny at all. See, Ken dolls lack organs, including a brain, heart, and, as Ghost hinted, a certain... anatomical feature.
And, as you stand in front of Ghost at Price’s office, tending to his cut lip and bruised eye, questions swirl in your mind. First and foremost, why is Ghost so obsessed with Lt. Wilson’s bones and limps? How was he planning to execute such a horrendous action? And how did he manage to leap onto the table and kick Wilson in the face like Leonidas did in the movie “300”?
“You fucked up big time, Simon,” Price warns Ghost as he paces around the room with his hands on his waist.
“He started it,” Ghost retorts.
“No,” Price shouts, running towards Ghost and inching away from his bruised-up face, “you landed the first kick, and then things escalated faster than a wildfire in a dry forest.”
Ghost sighs. “How is he?” He asks.
You look at him, shocked. This guy amazes you. All he wanted was to kick Wilson right in the face, and now he’s worried about his health.
“He is fucked; that’s how he is,” Price replies, “and you’re fucked too.”
“What’ll happen now?” Ghost asks
Price lets out a sharp chuckle. Not one of entertainment, for sure. Something that hints you’re both about to find out.
“I’m relieving Lt. Wilson of his duties in the field and relocating him to another position,” the Captain announces.
“Good,” Ghost replies. “At least he’ll be out of my business for a while.”
“Oh, on the contrary brother,” Price smirks, “he’ll be all up in your business now.”
You stop treating Ghost’s wound and turn to Price. “W-where exactly are you relocating, Lt. Wilson, Captain?” You ask, confused.
Price approaches you and wraps an arm around your shoulder, now both facing Ghost.
“I’m putting Wilson in the same office as you two,” Price says, smiling. “That is until you and him sort out your… issues.”
Ghost doesn’t react. He stretches his neck while looking at Price.
“You think I wouldn’t find out what the apple of discord was?” Price whispers at Ghost, “You and him either become best friends, or you’re both out.” He says. He removes his hand from your shoulder, adjusts his hat, nods at you, and walks out of the room.
You turn towards Ghost, who’s now leaning on his legs, looking at the floor.
“Look at me,” you command, “I still need to patch that lip of yours.”
He obeys and looks up. You sigh. As much as you trust Price and his strategic decision to put the three of you in the same room, you fear that the ball is now in your field. Juggling Ghost��s outbursts was something you learned to handle with skill and prowess. But including Lt. Harris in the equation is like putting two starving lions in a cage with an antelope.
“Why?” You ask, as you treat his bottom lip, “Why act so stupidly when you know it is you that I fancy?”
He looks away and shrugs. “He called you a doll.”
“And look where we are now, Simon,” you say. “Price gave you your last chance, and we get to have Mr Toothless with us at the office.”
“Won’t be an office anymore, love,” he mutters, “it’ll be a dollhouse full of Barbie and Ken dolls.”
You smile and lift his chin up with your fingers. “So, if I’m Barbie and he’s Ken,” you say, bringing your face closer to his, “who are you?”
“Oh, I’m Action Man, love.” He says and tries to wink with a swollen, already shut, black eye.
———————————————————————
Part 3 ->
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x y/n#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon ghost riley fic#simon riley x you#simon riley x y/n#simon riley x reader#simon riley#ghost cod#cod ghost#call of duty#modern warfare 2#cod mwii#ghost call of duty#cod mw2#cod mw ghost
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Husk x GN! Reader: The Hazbin Hotel Group Chat (NSFW)
Summary: Kind of a part 2 to the last one? Reader sends an embarrassing sticker of Husk in the group chat and they refuse to delete it. Things escalate from there on.
Warnings: Swearing, smut, penetration, uh idk what else to include bc this is the first time I’ve written NSFW content. Anyway, MINORS PLEASE DO NOT READ!!!
—————
You: *Sends a sticker of Husk smiling that day Lucifer visited the hotel*
Sir Pentious: *Reacts with a laughing emoji*
Angel Dust: how did u do that wtf ??? i want to send one too.
You: Just go to a pic in ur gallery and touch and hold whatever u want a sticker of. Easy.
Angel Dust: *Sends a sticker of Fat Nuggets* omg i love this !!
Husk: When did you take that. I look like shit. Delete it.
Angel Dust: honey, dont. im gonna save that as a sticker bc thats so funny LOL.
You: *Replies to Husk* Skill issue.
Charlie: *Starts hearting everyone’s messages*
Husk: *Replies to You* What does that even mean?
You: *Ignores Husk* Look Angel, this is u. *Sends a link to a video on Sinstagram*
Angel: period.
Husk: What the fuck. How do I leave the group chat.
Vaggie: If I gotta deal with reading this shit, so do you, Husk.
You: *Replies to Husk* Wait NOOOO!!! I’m sorry. Pls forgive me :(
Husk: No.
You: *Sends the sticker of Husk smiling again* I take that back then.
—————
As you quietly giggled to yourself in your room, continuing to send funny stickers under your duvet, the doorknob suddenly rattled, instantly alarming you. Before you could even think about checking who was trying to get in, however, somebody lifted the covers. You shivered as the cold hit your skin, gasping when you saw who had come into your room uninvited.
“Hey, what the fuck? Husk!” You screeched, rolling around and clutching your phone to your chest, practically cocooning around it with your limbs.
“Delete it!” Husk said, pouncing on you and effortlessly flipping you over.
You unlocked your legs and wrapped them around the cat-demon’s hips, consequently forcing your crotches together as you flipped him over. His eyes widened and his pupils shrunk as you changed your positions—or that’s what you thought.
Anyway, you took advantage of the fact that you had caught Husk by surprise, throwing your phone down the side of your bed. It was situated right against the wall, so if he really wanted it, he’d have go through all the dust and clutter you had.
“Ha! Good luck getting it now,” You said, pinning his arms on either side of his head.
“Fuck,” Husk said, which you assumed was his response to what you just said.
Again, assumed, because you were fucking stupid. It took a certain something growing underneath you to understand the situation you had inadvertently designed.
Your face flushed in embarrassment as Husk’s length slotted perfectly against your crotch, but you did not move. You were horrified, for lack of a better word. He was your friend…that and he was also way older than you, even though age functioned differently in Hell than on Earth.
Still, this was a difficult situation the two of you had stumbled upon, and apparently, neither of you were interested in making the next move. Although, you were secretly hoping that Husk would do something, especially because you suddenly ached for him.
When he didn’t move, you felt your heart sink in disappointment. You also felt kind of ashamed for letting such carnal desires triumph over the need to preserve your friendship, which you had struggled to build in the first place.
“I, uh—I’m sorry,” You suddenly said, loosening your grip on Husk’s wrists, but not exactly letting go. “I didn’t mean to…you know, do this.”
He blinked as he processed your words, but he only acted when he felt your warmth receding, grabbing ahold of you and caging you underneath him. This whole going back and forth thing was really making you dizzy.
“Fuck, don’t apologize,” Husk said, tucking his face into the crook of your neck.
The action elicited a moan from you, and, oh, did Husk enjoy that.
“I felt how you twitched right against me, baby doll,” Husk’s lips moved sensually against your neck, causing goosebumps to litter your skin.
“If I knew a sticker of you fake-smiling would lead to this, I would have sent it sooner,” You breathed out, reaching out and grabbing ahold of his suspenders, forcing him closer to you.
“I ain’t giving you shit ‘til you delete it, though,” Husk chuckled, playfully nipping the skin on your neck before withdrawing completely.
Your eyes widened as he said that. That fucking bastard! You had to hand it to him, though.
“You can’t be serious!” You whined, chasing after him as he leaned back and sat on his knees.
“Get your phone, delete the sticker, and I’ll fuck you ‘til you can’t walk anymore,” Husk grinned at you, his sharp teeth shining in the dim light of your room. “Sound good?”
You stared at him, but just for a moment. Within a few seconds, you were off the bed, pulling the wooden frame away from the wall with a strength you never knew you had. Husk fell back onto the mattress when you did so, watching on in disbelief as you located your phone quickly.
“Here, look! I’m deleting it right now,” You hopped onto the bed, panting as you showed him your phone, “See? It’s gone.”
Husk removed his hat and carded his claws through his hair, which you had only ever seen on pictures from his time as an Overlord. As good as he looked, you could only whine in embarrassment because he was suddenly laughing.
“Shit, I’m sorry, it’s just—“ Husk said between bouts of laughter, “Never knew someone who wanted to be fucked this bad by me.”
You tossed your phone aside and grabbed ahold of his suspenders once more, shutting him up with a kiss. Husk was still laughing, but the more your lips moved against one another, the sound of saliva being exchanged flooding the room, the less funny he began to find the situation.
“Ah, fuck! Husker—oh, please.”
Hours later, Husk had your face plush against the mattress, a paw buried in your hair to keep you there. You just wouldn’t shut up, but could he blame you? No, not when his length was gliding in and out of you at a delicious pace, your hole squelching because of the several times he had finished inside of you.
“Almost there, baby doll,” Husk rasped from behind you, “Can you handle one more?”
At this point, you were starting to ache, but the way Husk pounded into you when he was close was addicting. His other paw had a tight grip on your hipbone, too, squeezing hard enough to draw blood every time your hole clenched around him. In short, yes you could handle one more load.
“You’re doing so good for me.”
Husk let go of your hair, his paw sliding down your scalp and wrapping around your neck. As his thrusts became erratic, he encouraged you to sit up on your knees, which you happily did. He slid his other paw under your thigh, hiking your leg up and pounding into you in a new position.
“Still gotta delete that photo of me,” Husk said into your ear, his face proceeding to fall into your neck, “You said you get the stickers out of your gallery—I remember.”
“T-Then why did you—oh—go ahead and fuck me?” You asked, moaning as Husk thrusted up into you particularly hard with that question.
“Couldn’t wait.”
Just like that, you came with a loud moan, his words making you snap. Feeling the way your hole clenched around him, Husk’s hips began to stutter. You savored the groan that escaped his throat as he emptied himself inside of you one last time, including the way his length throbbed, obviously sensitive.
The two of you passed out on your bed immediately after that—well, more like Husk, because you had to clean up a bit down there first. When you returned from your short trip to the bathroom, your bed frame was back against the wall and Husk was hugging one of your pillows, tail swishing back and forth and wings slightly fluttering.
As you approached the cat-demon, you swore you heard him…purring? Could Husk really purr? Slowly, you crawled into your bed, and as you laid down next to him, you were able to confirm that he was indeed purring. While the sound was heavenly, healing a part of your soul you never knew needed healing, having Husk nuzzle into your chest was just God-sent.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin husk#husk x reader#husk x reader smut#angel dust#vaggie#sir pentious#charlie morningstar#husk
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mad woman N. Moyle
Nolan Moyle x fem!reader
synopsis - Nolan is back in the place you two fell in love, and he can't get you out of his mind.
wc - 2.5k!
contains - UNEDITED SORRY!! cursing, NO HAPPY ENDING!(between Nolan and reader, I don't leave my readers sad you know that), um asshole!nolan as fuck, MAD WOMAN BY TSWIFT?????, um yeah i don't know, BAD BITCH!READER (you go girl), hints at future!frank nazar x reader (YOU KNOW I HAVE A HARD TIME HELPING MYSELF!!!!!!!)
an - hey y'all....... im not deceased!!! um yeah HOPE U HAD A GOOD HOLIDAYSSSSSS. some of this I couldn't tell, if it was funny or cringe so don't hate me. I don't loveeeeeee this but whatever. Frank is so cute SOMEONE REQUEST HIM ;))) anyways love u hope you enjoy!
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what did you think i'd say to that? does a scorpion sting when fighting back?
Nolan felt weird. It was the first time he was back in Ann Arbor since leaving for China in the summer. He was stopping to see the boys and watch a hockey game before going back home to New York.
It was the first time he'd been in Ann Arbor since you broke up. The breakup was rough. There had been a lead up for weeks before, all you did was argue. You couldn't understand him, or anything he was doing. When you found out he was going to move to China, you felt like that was him saying you weren't important to him. He didn't seem even slightly upset about having to leave you, and when you were hysterical over it, he just called you crazy.
they strike to kill, and you know i will. you know i will.
When you realized Nolan wasn't going to be anything but indifferent about the situation, all you felt was rage. Maybe you were crazy, you felt it.
Nolan had been your boyfriend since you were a freshman, and he was a junior at Michigan. You dated for almost three years, and then he threw you to the side. Now you were interning in the athletics department at Michigan while you finished school, and you were talking with your supervisors about a job opening after graduation, so you were sticking around in Ann Arbor for a while longer.
It was honestly embarrassing the way you tried for you two, while it seemed he couldn't have cared less. The boys felt bad, they'd known you their whole college careers, you'd help them through losses, comforted them, cared for them. You were the best female influence they had while at college.
They hung out with you all summer, trying to include you in all of their activities, because they knew what you were going through. They loved Nolan, and they loved you. You didn't make them feel like they had to choose, and Nolan really couldn't even if he wanted to, being on the other side of the world from all of you.
You were still in Ann Arbor, along with the boys because they still had hockey games to play before they could go home for winter break, and you worked with the hockey team in the winter, so you were sticking around as well.
what do you sing on your drive home? do you see my face in the neighbors lawn?
Nolan couldn't get you off of his mind as he drove through the small Michigan college town. He saw you everywhere. You were the only person that had stuck around with him while most of his friends left to the NHL over the years. You could tell at the last moments of your breakup Nolan was jealous, he was jealous of people like Luke, who was leaving from their loss in Tampa straight to Boston to sign with the Devils. He had always dreamed of it, but had just not come close enough.
China would take him away from it all, a new place, as far away as he could be, because it did hurt to look at all the guys he captained, knowing they'd go on to do greater things than him.
He deflected what was going on in his head to you. He accused you of being crazy, and envious, and insecure, but it was him. He felt so shitty about himself on the inside that he threw it all to you.
does she smile? or does she mouth, "fuck you forever"? every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy.
Nolan was being suffocated by the overwhelming sense of you, that Ann Arbor held. Every corner, every road, every stoplight.
Nolan pulled into a parking spot on the side of the street, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning the car off. He sat in the empty car for a few minutes. Would you be there when he walked into the dinner the boys had planned? He knew they were really close with you, seeing as he stalked your and their Instagram profiles often.
He didn't know if the guys would do it to him. He also didn't know if they knew that seeing you would affect him so much.
You knew Nolan was invited to this dinner, but you didn't really care. You'd met your peace with him over the summer, at least in your mind, you were happy. Single life had been treating you well, you were prioritizing yourself, your friends, your family, and your career and it was a perfect balance for you.
what about that? and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry.
You'd always loved the idea of working for a sports team, specifically hockey. You'd been the daughter of the Minnesota Twins physical therapist since you were born, so seeing the behind the scenes of major league teams was always exciting for you. You'd gotten your first opportunity to work with sports teams in high school, when you had an internship with a smaller hockey team in Minnesota, and since then you'd loved working with hockey. It was how you met Nolan, interning with the Michigan team your freshman year.
You were already on your second drink when you saw Nolan walk into the restaurant. Seeing him left a pit of red hot anger in your stomach. You just looked away from him before he could catch you and kept talking to Luca. Maybe the anger never left, you didn't care as long as the love you had for him did.
and there's nothing like a mad woman. what a shame she went mad.
You chose not to acknowledge him, and he understood why. The last time you talked to him, you were screaming, crying, completely confused as to why he didn't love you like you loved him. You didn't understand how after committing three years to him, he could throw all of it away without a second thought. He probably had someone. Someone he could entertain halfway across the world.
You both ignored each other, deciding it best not to talk. You knew that it wouldn't end well, the rage sitting in your chest would release itself the second you said a word to Nolan. You both drank, a lot. You partially because you wanted to get your mind off of him, and partially because Luca was challenging you to go shot for shot with him.
Nolan was embarrassed before you two broke up, and he still was, sort of. Then, he was embarrassed because he felt like he wasn't talented enough to lead his team that was chock-full of NHL prospects. Now he was embarrassed because he had realized what he let go when he let you go. And obviously all these boys could tell he had lost a good one, because they all loved and admired you so heavily.
Nolan wasn't exactly good at handling emotions like embarrassment and insecurity, since being raised on "men don't cry" mentalities. And when he was so full of these unfamiliar feelings, he took it out solely on you.
And it made you crazy, like completely batshit. You were head over heels for Nolan, had been since the day you met, and when he flipped on you, you didn't know what to do.
no one likes a mad woman. you made her like that.
Nolan was drunk. Anyone in the bar could tell you that. He didn't always handle his alcohol well, either. His eyes locked onto you, all the way down the long table full of people. You were currently talking with some of the media girls, discussing the upcoming Monday video, thinking of question ideas.
Drunk Nolan was mad you weren't paying attention to him. He always wanted your attention, while you were together, and now. He started talking, rather loudly, about you. He was saying how you were crazy, and controlling and that's why you broke up. It was because he was drunk, but that didn't mean it was okay. You heard your name, and your head snapped to the side, staring Nolan down.
"No, she's a crazy bitch! Y'guys are lucky you haven't tried somethin' with'er, she's like the bossiest girlfriend ever. Like, like when we broke up, she was just beggin' me to stay and like wouldn't let me break up with'er!"
You were seeing blood red. None of that was true. You let Nolan do whatever the fuck he wanted during your relationship. He was the possessive one.
and you'll poke the bear, 'til her claws come out.
Most of the table was staring at you, those who weren't were staring at Nolan in bewilderment. No one believed him, they had witnessed your relationship. Some of the guys were telling Nolan to shut the fuck up, knowing you were angry.
You stood up, going to the end of the table Nolan sat at. You stood on the opposite side of the table, between Frank and Nick's seats.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Nolan? Do you really need my attention? It's pathetic, to talk about me like this, especially while I'm sitting right fucking there. We get it, you're not as fucking famous as you were here in China, but you don't have to bring me into your attention seeking."
and you find something to wrap your noose around. and there's nothing like a mad woman.
Nolan saw this as an opportunity. He knew he was getting you angry, he was thriving off of it.
"See? She's crazy!"
Adam slapped Nolan over the back of the head, telling him to shut up again, looking at you with wide eyes.
"It's alright Adam, you don't need to stop him from being a bitch. Anyways, Nolan, you calling me crazy is laughable. You were the one that didn't let me wear shit! The one that got mad when I went out with my friends!"
Nolan started to turn into an angry drunk guy. You were saying true things, all of that happened through the duration of your relationship. Nolan was getting embarrassed, again. He look around the table, his eyes catching on the one person likely on his side. A media girl in her junior year at Michigan. In her two years on the team with Nolan as a part of it, she'd had a crush on him, and made it clear to you and him. He turned back to you, ready to say something that would hurt you deep.
now i breathe flames every time i talk. my cannons all firin' at your yacht.
"It's your fault I was like that, I had to worry about you whoring yourself out to everyone."
You could've jumped over the table and strangled him. Frank grabbed your hand under the table, being the sweetheart he was. You squeezed his hand back, thanking him silently. You knew Nolan was embarrassed, and jealous that you were over him, when you obviously occupied his thoughts.
"You have to be kidding me."
they say, "move on." but you know i won't.
"She's not worth it Nolan."
A bitchy little voice came from down the table, every head snapping to look at the girl who'd said it. Of course, it was the one that wanted Nolan down her throat while you two together.
"Alright babe, just because you're feening to get in his pants doesn't mean you're apart of this conversation."
She gasped, many of the people at the table let out laughs, including the other media girls, leading the girl to turn in anger at them and shout out them to stop. You laughed hard, watching her try to blubber out insults at you.
and women like hunting witches too. doing your dirtiest work for you.
"It's obvious that you're both obsessed with me, and I understand, trust me."
They both got angry, starting to let out insults at you, but they were just funny to you.
"You two are gonna be very happy with each other, you can think about me together."
Watching them get angrier and angrier with you was so funny, objectively. You turned to Frank next to you, who was laughing, hard. You mouthed, 'I'm scared' to him, making him laugh harder.
it's obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.
You stepped out from between the chairs, letting Frank's hand go, moving to grab your jacket, wallet, and phone from your spot, walking back to where you were when you gagged Nolan and media girl.
"Well I'm leaving, you two have given me enough entertainment for one night."
You left the bar, giggling to yourself as you pulled out your phone on the walk to your car. You saw one of the girls texted you, reading, 'mr obsessed is going out to see you WALK SLOW ;)' You knew who she meant, Frank. He'd had a little crush on you since he'd joined the team, in age, he was only a little over a year younger than you, so it wasn't weird or anything. You thought he was super cute and he was a lot more thoughtful than Nolan had ever been, even though he wasn't even your boyfriend, you'd never even entertained him, but he was still kind and caring towards you.
i'm taking my time, taking my time, 'cause you took everything from me
You looked behind you, stopping when you saw none other than Frank Nazar jogging up to you, you smiled brightly at him.
"Hi Frank."
He smiled, laughing as he said hi. He told you he wanted to make sure you got to your car safe, of course he did, he was a gentleman. So you let him walk with you, laughing about what had taken place in the bar. When you got to your car, you got in but talked to Frank through your open window for over ten minutes. When you told him he should go back to get out of the freezing weather of Ann Arbor, he nodded and agreed, but didn't leave.
This kid would probably end up being the death of you, with his smile and pretty hair. When you finally got him to head back to the bar, he was physically shivering. You smiled warmly to yourself as you sat in your car for a couple minutes, thinking about the whole night. Seeing Nolan be such a dick confirmed everything you'd thought about him over all the months, so it felt like you were really able to let go. Move on.
watching you climb, watching you climb over people like me. the master of spin has a couple side flings. good wives always know she should be mad, should be scathing like me, but no one likes a mad woman. what a shame she went mad, you made her like that.
#hugshughes folklore celebration#nolan moyle#mad woman#folklore#taylor swift#nolan moyle x reader#nolan moyle smut#frank nazar#frank nazar x reader#luca fantilli x reader#mark estapa x reader#hockey#nhl#nhl fanfiction#nhl blurb#nhl blackhawks#umich#umich x reader#umich smut#umich blurbs#umich imagine#umich fic#umich hockey#umich boys#umich wolverines#folklore taylor swift#evermore#mad woman taylor swift#spotify#Spotify
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i saw your requests were open and im really craving jeno filth rn. can i request a blurb of mean/angry jeno wanting to try anal spur of the moment while fucking but theres poor prep. can there be focus on degrading, humiliation, & dacryphilia? i saw on your requests that you write some hard kinks so hopefully this works (if not, ignore me). thank you!
pairing: jeno x fem!reader
genre: smut
wc: 1501
warnings: degradation, humiliation, dacryphilia, anal (with little to no prep), mentions of haechan, angry jeno.
a/n: thank u anon!! im so sorry im replying so late i've been suffering with severe lack of motivation but thank u to @jenomov for motivating me to write this luv u bb!!
Ever since you and Jeno got home earlier, hes been upset and he won't tell you why. All you remember was being at a little get together with him and his friends and midway during the night he took you by the hand and told you that you guys would be leaving. The whole car ride was silent and you honestly don't have a clue what could be wrong with him. You'd assume one of his friends may have said something that pissed him off but if that did happen he would've mentioned it to you. All your attempts of trying to ask him have been pushed away with him either ignoring you or simply telling you to not worry about it.
"Jeno?" You walked into your shared bedroom after washing up where he was at his desk playing video games, already having changed into a pair of grey shorts and a white t-shirt. "Can you talk to me? what's wrong?" and much like the other times, he ignored you once again. Being fed up with his silent treatment, you went up to where he sat at his desk and took his headphones off his head, placing them on his desk and turning the chair around so he'd finally look at you for the first time since you'd gotten home today.
"Jeno, talk to me please, what's wrong? I don't know what I did and it's making me feel like shit knowing that I upset you and I don't even know what I did" Jeno groans, not amused that you reminded him of it again. "You know what, fine I'll fill you in." He sat you down on the floor in front of him and his voice was awfully calm which was a stark contrast to his demeanour from less than a minute ago. He tucks your hair behind your ear and ran his hands through your hair before grabbing a fistful and pulling it roughly, making you wince.
"I was looking for you the whole time today but where did I end up finding you? Sitting outside with Haechan. You know how he feels about you yet you still entertained it like some attention whore." He sneered as he says this and tugs on your hair harder.
Now you remember.
Jeno seemed to be occupied with his friends so you and Haechan decided to go and get some drinks from the kitchen before sitting outside and people watching. There was barely any dialogue exchanged other than some random comments the both of you made when you saw someone doing something funny.
So you tell Jeno that.
"You know, if you really want to slut yourself out to Haechan while your boyfriend is busy with his friends then go ahead. But for now, come on, strip" Jeno was seeing red at this point. He was already upset that you ditched him and when he finally did find you, he found you hidden away with his friend who's had feelings for you since time. What added on to his anger was you were wearing this skin tight black romper with no bra underneath so everyone could clearly see every curve of your body and your very hard nipples.
He watched you as you got rid of that stupid romper that made you look even sexier than you already were. "come on, take off those panties too, sluts like you don't need those. I'm surprised you even wore any in the first place." you complied with a slight frown, the situation was so arousing to you right now but you couldn't show him just how much it was affecting you. Jeno hummed as your naked body stood before him, his fingers finding their way to your nipples to toy with them before bringing his mouth to one and flicking his tongue over it making you moan softly. However that didn't last long until Jeno got off his chair and sat you on it instead. You brought your hand down to your sopping wet cunt and realized your wetness was dripping down onto his chair. You knew Jeno wouldn't be happy about it considering his mood right now so you chose not to even mention anything about it until he'd notice himself. Which clearly didn't last long because when Jeno looked down to where your hand was, he saw the mess that was made on his new gaming chair.
"What the fuck is this hmm?" Jeno raised his eyebrows at you making you close your legs and look down in shame. "You know, I was thinking of letting you off easy but I don't think you deserve it today. Get on your knees and clean up your mess." You whimpered at his degradation. As harsh as his words may get, you know he doesn't mean it at the end of the day. So you obeyed his command and fell to your knees and lapped up your arousal from his chair, leaving an arguably bigger mess but you know Jeno never really minded in the first place.
"Good girl. Get on the bed baby" You followed all his commands with no hesitation. Making your way over to the bed with him trailing behind you. He sat you on the bed before getting rid of his shorts and shirt. Immediately, you knew what that meant so you got right to work, licking at his tip before taking his length in your mouth. Sucking him off like you know he likes. Making a mix of his groans and the sound of you gagging from his length hitting the back of your throat fill the room.
He pulled you off him before he was able to reach the edge. "Get on your hands and knees." And you obeyed, arching your back the way he likes it. What you didnt expect was to feel his cock circling your rim. it's not your first time doing this with him but there was barely any prep or foreplay to prepare you for this. "Jeno? I dont think I'm prepped enough for anal right now..." you trailed off to which he slapped your ass in response. "You can take it I know you can, It'll feel good I promise" Dropping down a glob of spit to 'lubricate' your hole before he slid in just his tip around your hole, hips stuttering from the feeling of your hole squeezing him in. The pain was too much making your eyes well up "Jeno fuck..it hurts so much" And as if to make it better, he dropped another glob of spit on your hole to make the stretch more bearable (it didnt help much). When he finally bottomed out in your ass he let out a loud groan which you could almost feel from the way his cock twitched inside you. Your cheeks were stained with tears as you fought the urge to beg him to at least use some lube but the thought quickly went to the back of your head when he started pounding into your ass while rubbing at your clit.
"Jeno fuck" you sniffled and you didnt expect Jeno to fucking whimper at your tone. "Fuck baby are you crying?" He chuckled softly, flipping you onto your back to observe your messy tear stained face.
"You're so fucking pretty when you cry baby it makes me wanna ruin you more often. You like when I fuck you hard like this?" You nod and soon the pain is mixed with pleasure when he rubs at your clit harder and your arousal trails down to where his cock is pounding into you.
"Gonna cum Jeno feels so good" Jeno knew you were close from the way you tightened up around him and your legs shook around his waist. "Cum baby. show me that pretty teary face when you cum." And you did. Your orgasm hit you so hard that you sob even harder, your face a mix of tears and drool that made Jeno's high to follow right behind yours. He buried his cock all the way inside you and you feel the hot white ropes of cum filling you up.
Jeno slowly pulled out and collapsed next to you, wiping the tears off your face. "You're so good to me baby sorry if I was too rough today." You shook your head with a smile, not trusting your voice to do you any justice in the moment. Jeno returned the smile and gave you a soft kiss to your forehead.
"And just so you know, I'm not mad about the Haechan thing anymore. It was a stupid thing to get mad about I'm sorry" You smiled at the man before you. Jeno less than 10 minutes ago was nothing compared to the Jeno you were seeing right now.
"It's okay, I love you and only you okay?" He hummed with a smile, giving you another kiss to your forehead before he went off to get something to clean you up with.
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soft
pairing: post-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
summary: Joel wants her, and she wants him. The bumpy story of how they got together!
warnings: 18+ MDNI, reader has hair that can get in her face, smoking (weed), drinking, lots of feelings, piv, unprotected sex, slight overstimulation, kinda subby Joel at the end (lmk if i forgot anything)
wc: 10.3k (idk how that happened im sorry)
a/n: I’m pretty proud of this one. ik its long but please just give her a chance!
It started with you and Joel both high and drunk out on the porch and he looked so beautiful. There was a perpetual smile on his face, laughing and even giggling at almost everything you said, folding himself over and leaning his head on you whenever he thought something was particularly funny and you couldn't control yourself.
The next time he leaned over you waited, watching, letting him calm back down but when he went to pull off of you, you pulled his head to yours. His breathing stopped short and it scared you until he groaned into your mouth. It was so many things, it was broken, grateful, desperate but savoring and you loved it.
He placed his hand behind your head and held you in place as he pushed his lips further into yours. It almost hurt, the way he seemed to attempt to mold your face into one, but it was so perfect. When he pulled away you were out of breath, panting in his face as he did the same. You guys continued to exchange breaths as you scrutinized every aspect of his face.
Anxiety was clawing inside your stomach as you took him in, fearing that he may never let you ever again. His soft lips parted, and you watched his tongue slide into the indent on his bottom lip. You silently hoped he could taste your remnants on them as they froze, waiting for words to spill out. Only to be interrupted by Ellie slamming the front door open.
“Can you guys fucking keep it down?! I have school, remember? You’re the one making me go!” She shouts at you both, directing the last part at Joel who was still staring at you. You were watching Ellie as she yelled but Joel’s silence brought your gaze back to him. You shouldn’t have because you feel like that’s when it happened. You swear you could see him blocking himself off from you, like a door was shutting in his eyes. He apologized to Ellie and said it was getting late.
Now, usually, Joel insists on you sleeping on the couch, too worried to let you go home so inebriated but that night he sent you away. It was like he broke your heart. He shattered it and forced you to place the shards in your shoes as he pushed you away, pain shooting through your whole body with every step.
You cried yourself to sleep that night, you thought things were over with Joel, and you’d lose touch with Ellie because it would be too painful to go over there.
Your paradise was ruined.
You couldn’t believe you had read the situation so wrong. You thought- worse case- he would tell you that you’re too young, that he just can’t be with you, for whatever reason. But the look in his eyes… the way he sent you home. It felt like he didn’t even care about you anymore.
The next day you thought you had lost your mind. You were in a terrible headspace and decided to ditch your responsibilities. You were in bed, switching between sleeping and sobbing into your pillow. You felt horrible, you looked horrible and someone was knocking incessantly at your door. They would not leave, no matter how much time passed, no matter how loud you groaned. So you wrapped your blanket around you and very angrily made your way to the door.
“Who the fu-” Your sentence is cut short in complete and utter shock.
It was Joel.
You let the door swing open and walk back inside. You’re already climbing back into bed as you hear him shut the door behind him. “What do you want, Joel?”
You’re lying down, wiggling a bit to get comfortable. In the corner of your eye, you can see him just standing there, his thick arms crossed over his broad chest. Your head almost turns as you hear him take a deep breath, wishing you could see the way his chest puffs up and stretches whatever shirt he’s wearing. But you don't. He’s not someone you should be admiring like this, he’s someone you cannot be admiring like this.
“Oh my god. Don’t just stand there you know I fucking hate that.” Your voice is so irritated, so hurt and cold but he scoffs.
Anger and embarrassment courses through you but you feel the bed dip anyway, it eases the feelings.
You can feel him right beneath your feet, so close you almost want to straighten your legs a bit more, just so you can press against him. But you don’t.
“Okay, then don’t curse… Y'know I hate that.” His voice is painfully normal, like nothing happened, like he didn't break you. You want to laugh- or cry- at the absurdity. The thought that last night meant nothing to him, so little that he’s over here asking you things like ‘don’t curse’.
Who does he think he is? That he can treat me like shit and then ask such trivial things of me? No. Fuck him.
“Fuck you, Joel. You’re a dick, get out.” He takes a deep breath and then is silent for a moment. You hoped and prayed that he had given up but to no avail.
“No, honey. I’m supposed to find out why you’re not out workin’.” You scoff at him and dig yourself deeper into the blankets. “Ar- are ya sick or somethin’?” At this you turn to him, looking him dead in the eyes, asking ‘Are you fucking serious?’ but he can’t hold your gaze.
Oh! So he does remember.
You laugh humorlessly and fall back into bed where you lie in silence, for quite some time. Until his hand comes up to your ankle, resting so gently you know he’s holding it up. He’s probably still thinking over whether he should do it or not, unaware that he’s already touching you.
“Can- Well, I- I- I know that- fuck.” He’s so angry when he says it, frustrated with himself for not having the right words.
He never knows the right thing to say, or how to convey how he feels. He’s so scared of losing you right now, but he doesn’t know how to tell you in a way that will have you asking no questions. He can’t have you asking him anything because he knows you’ll ask him things that he’s nowhere near ready to answer. “Can you just- Can you please?”
You waited for him to say more, expecting it, but that was the end of the sentence. He wanted you to ‘just please’.
The way he says it though, you look over at him and he’s gazing into you, his eyes so piercing that you almost feel uncomfortable. It feels like he’s prying into you, willing you to open up for him to express himself without having to actually say anything to you.
You sit up and glare back at him, softer than before but still hot with rage. “Please, what.” He shakes his head and looks away from you, into his lap instead as his hand fully settles on your ankle. He keeps huffing out breaths, like he’s going to say something but then decides against it. You’re almost irritated with the sound until he takes a breath and follows it with words.
“You- I need for yesterday to have not happened.”
Fuck him.
You hadn’t even gotten over the first rejection, the lack of care he showed and now here he was rejecting you again. “You must- You gotta understand why it can’t happen. Why we-”
You were trying not to tremble as he rubbed his hand over his face, trying to keep himself calm in the face of the extreme stress the whole situation was putting on him. Tears were welling in your eyes as he spoke, despite you squeezing them shut to avoid this exact issue. But it hurt just as much as it did last night, maybe more. “We just can’t. Not- I need for things to go back to normal… f- for now at least…”
You’re breathing froze, eyes snapping open to look at Joel, who was still looking in his lap. His hand left your ankle to meet his other fidgeting one as you both sat in silence. You could see him peeking at you from the corner of his eye as subtly as he could as you thought over his words.
You felt like you were on a game show. Do you double down or just take what you have?
‘I need for yesterday to have not happened’
‘I need for things to go back to normal’
His words hurt.
‘F-for now at least’
But those words… made it worth it.
You didn’t want to push him. You know how hard it must’ve been for him to even express the little bit he did. Along with that, the thought of him noticing you weren’t around and coming to check on you was making its way through your cloud of hate.
“Y-you sent me away…” Your voice isn’t hard anymore. It isn't soft either, it was just weak. You can see Joel grimace at it, turning away from you so you couldn’t see him. “Wh- You- you always let me stay but- you just-” You stop talking, if you kept going you would’ve started sobbing again.
“I couldn’t let you stay, honey. The- I didn’t- I don’t have enough self-control for something like that to happen an’... I’m leaving you in the guest room? No. I would’ve- had to have- I… No, I-” He breathes out in annoyance again and you yearn to comfort him. But you don’t.
He always gets too frustrated with himself, making it even harder for him to clear his head enough to say what he wants. “I wouldn’t have been able to leave you there. I would’ve had to do somethin’ and I- I don't think that’s a good idea.”
You’re not completely satisfied with the answer, you have more questions now than you did before but you managed to collect one piece of information.
Joel wants you.
It wasn’t a flat-out rejection more like a, ‘let's put a pin in that’ and you have enough faith in him to believe he wouldn’t string you along. So you sniffle, put your big boy pants on as you wipe your tears, and tap Joel on the shoulder, turning his gaze to you. You take a deep breath and speak.
“Yesterday’s events are forgotten.” You say it with a light smile but you’re betrayed by one stray tear as it rushes down your face. Joel’s expression crumbles at it, in so much pain, so heartbroken at the thought that he had caused it. Despite his feelings, he nods at you and gets up. “Get ready. You’re in the fields today, darlin’.” He hits the door frame with a grateful smile before walking away to let you get changed.
Leaving you in your hopeful sadness.
------------------------------------
Things were rocky at first. Neither of you were actually able to forget about ‘what happened’ as Joel so lovingly put it. You expected too much from him and he was still too cold toward you. For the first month, you guys were basically in an argument. It was as though the town couple, the gruff old man and the re-tamed angel, had broken up.
Everyone knew that you were hooking up with Jared, he wouldn’t shut up about it. Joel and the townspeople had heard of his sexual conquests over and over since he arrived, before he set his sights on you.
When he first approached you, you had already gotten out of your ‘phase’ and were too captivated by Joel to entertain him for even a second. However, he was quite popular among the other town women, he was popular with women even before the outbreak so he couldn’t believe when you rejected him. Not that he was shocked, he fully did not believe you. In turn, he never stopped pursuing you… much like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.
So when Joel broke you, you slipped back to how you were before him… You went to Jared. You don’t know if you were hoping he could put you back together or if you wanted him to help you cut Joel with the shards of your heart but the latter is what ended up happening.
You wanted to cut it off with Jared the moment Joel found out. When Jared started parading around the town with you next to him as if you were genuinely interested. But you didn’t.
Instead, you kept seeing him for a few more weeks. You watched Joel avoid you like the plague, ducking out of every room you walked into, switching his jobs with people who had the worst ones just so he didn’t have to work with you. You enjoyed making him squirm, showing him that you could just move on if he’s not ready to step up. You were a highly sought-after woman, a piece of art who he wanted to keep in the garage until he found the right spot. No, you refuse. Until you came across him alone at the bar one night.
He was obviously drunk, a beer in hand but his cheek on the table. There was a song playing that he was loosely singing along to. His other hand was in the air, waving his finger around like he was conducting an orchestra. You storm over to his booth.
Watch him suddenly sober up and head home. Watch him suddenly remember some plans he made or something he forgot to do. Watch him just get up and leave me again.
You sit down across from him and wait for him to notice you. You’re just watching him. His eyes are closed and his eyebrows furrow as he tries to hit each high note. He’s failing, not hitting them perfectly but still getting to an impressive pitch. It’s too endearing to see him like this, so open, unburdened.
You didn’t even know he could sing this well. Your anger and bitterness fades for the first time in weeks. Your head tilts and a soft smile invades your face, as if sensing this Joel finally opens his eyes.
They’re so soft, probably because he thought he was alone, his guard is dropped. You’re waiting for them to go back up at the sight of you. But they stay so soft as he gasps gently. “Honey! Wha- When did you get ‘ere” His voice is softer too… not as rough and gruff as it usually is.
He also doesn’t sound angry. After all he’s done to avoid you, you’d expect him to sound angry. You chalk it up to the alcohol.
“I’ve been here. You just never noticed.” When your voice reaches Joel it's gentle, like how you’d speak to a child but not patronizing. He likes it. He swears he can feel your voice washing over him, running through his hair and caressing his cheek. He smiles at it, at you as a blush rises to his cheeks.
“S-so you-” He looks down at the table, his eyes moving back and forth as he thinks. “Did you hear m-” You can’t help the laugh that slips out. Your hand comes up to cover your mouth but you’re still obviously smiling. “Oh.” That’s all he says as you let your laughs out.
“I’m- Not laughing at you, Joel. I- I swear.” Laughs break up your sentence as Joel stares at the table. “Oh- I’m so sorry. God. You really didn’t notice me here! That’s what was so funny not your singing I swear.” You let out a little giggle at the end but Joel is frowning.
“This s’why I don’ sing in front of no one.” He’s picking at the wood and grumbling to himself. You’d find it all incredibly annoying if it wasn’t Joel doing it.
“Joel.” You’re stern but still gentle as you speak. “I told you it wasn’t your singing. The singing was great. I was so fucking impressed. I had no clue you could even sing like that.” You watch a smile creep onto his face as you praise his talent. He’s still looking at the table, wanting to stay angry but he can’t. Your smile widens the longer you watch him until he takes a swig of his beer.
“Why are you so drunk?”
The words tumble out before you can stop them and Joel pauses mid-sip. He’s frozen like that before slamming it onto the table and looking at you. “ ‘M not drunk. ‘M not. But if I was…” He squints his eyes at you. “If I was- It’s probably cos the girl I want seems to want someone else.”
It feels like everything in the bar stops. Your breathing, your heart, the music, time, the world. Everything just stops.
He got this drunk… over me?
He chuckles and finishes his beer as you sit there in shock. “Dunno why you’re doin’ all this. I know you knew. Jus’ thought-” He goes to take another sip and whines when there’s nothing. “Stupid fuckin-” He throws it across the room, astonishingly making it into the trash with a small mumble of ‘swish’.
“Joel.” He turns back to you with a blank expression. “You never told me you liked me.”
“Oh please.” His voice is mean, a bit sharp now. Your face contorts into one of disgust as he speaks. “You ain’t that dumb, honey. It was very heavily implied an’ you know it.” Your expression drops into a frown. His voice broke at the end, followed by a sniff and an aggressive rub from his sleeve over his nose. “B-but you’re still out there with fuckin’ Jared.” His voice shakes through the sentence, adding some anger at the end as you cringe at the sound of his name. You both were aware you didn’t have any honest feelings for Jared.
“Joel. You told me to pretend that… that night.” You look away from him, embarrassed at what should be a sweet memory. “You told me to pretend it never happened and then treated me like shit for no reason afterward. Certainly, you didn’t expect me to sit in that. There’s no way you thought I would tolerate it! So yeah, I went to get whatever affection I could, elsewhere since my best and main source ran fucking dry.” You can feel your anger towards him building back up as you speak, reliving the details of your guys’ downfall. It still hurt.
“Certainly you didn’t- Why do you talk so damn proper?” He’s laughing to himself at his rendition of your voice but you’re nowhere near amused. You stand from your seat and look down at him, stopping his laughter instantly.
“Okay. Let’s talk about this when you’re sober, hmm? When you can be an adult? Stay on topic at least?” His brows furrow and his eyes leave yours. You stand there, waiting for him to respond but get nothing. “Cool, Joel. I’ll see you around then.” You sigh and turn away from him, disappointed.
The night had started so well, that you stupidly believed that you guys might be able to save your relationship. You should’ve known he was too drunk for the conversation but he shouldn’t have brought it up. If he knew he wouldn’t be able to have a serious conversation he shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place. Now you’re both hurting all over again. He’s probably gonna grab another drink and you’re probably gonna go see Jared.
“Please!” It’s frantic, desperate, and unsteady as it shoots out of his mouth. You freeze in your spot, halfway to the door and halfway from him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t wanna talk about it. Why fuckin’ would I? It hurts. You fuckin’— You hurt me… prancing around with that piece of shit- All I did was ask you to wait… just wait- for me to be ready to love you.”
You’re still standing in the middle of the room, facing the door. His voice was getting louder, closer as he spoke but you don’t turn. You could hear the emotion bleeding into his words, breaking his voice as he approached you.
“But you- You couldn’t even wait for me! No. No, you had to go get— ah how’d ya put it? Affection elsewhere- fuck off. You coulda just said you needed something from me. I could’ve given you affection.” His voice softened after cursing at you. It only grows softer as he speaks. You can feel him behind you, maybe a few steps away but you don’t turn.
You don’t wanna see him, lose your edge, your nerve. “I- I would’ve given it to you if I knew, darlin’. I was tryna keep my distance, waitin’ for you to get over me and look! You did. I- I just wish you had told me, instead of havin’ t’hear it from fuckin’— fuckin’ Jared.”
His voice dies down for a moment and you turn around. His hair is everywhere, he must’ve been running his hands through it as he spoke. His eyes aren’t teary but they look like he could cry at any moment, he looks tired and his lips are bitten red.
“I would’ve understood. Or- Or maybe I wouldn’t’ve I dunno. I just wish you woulda said somethi-”
You’re kissing him.
Fuck.
You are kissing him. You didn't mean to. You have no clue how your lips got to his but they’re all over them. He’s groaning at you, pulling you in as you pull away.
“Fuck! I’ve got to stop doing that… jesus.” You’re looking at the ground as you wipe his slobber off your mouth. He’s silent, panting as he just stands there and your heart starts to race.
It’s just like last time. Fuck. Why the fuck do I keep doing this shit.
Tears are already welling in your eyes and you decide to speak before he can send you away. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that… I know you need time or whatever.” You pause, giving him room to say anything but he doesn't. You want to look up at him, see what he’s thinking, how he’s reacting. But you don’t.
“Yeah… I’m gonna go.” You turn around and finish your walk to the exit. You grab the handle and stop. “I- I’m gonna cut things off with Jared…” You stay silent for a bit, trying to decide whether you should say your next words. “I do need your affection though, Joel.” You rushed out the door after that.
------------------------------------
You just want to fuck him already. It’s been months now, of this back and forth. To be clear, you do still want him romantically, how could you not? This man, when his hair is fluffy and soft just like him. When you see his expression now light up when you walk into the room. When he builds you little trinkets in the shop, instead of doing the job he was assigned to. When he makes your favorite for dinner after finding out that you’re having a bad day. When he plans movie nights featuring your favorites that he could find on DVD.
How could you not love him?
It scares you. The “situation-ship” you both were currently in started a few months ago. Actually… It started exactly four months and three weeks ago. There’s no point in pretending you haven’t kept track. Joel told you that he needed time. You would have never expected it to be this much time but you’ve grown to love and crave him over the months.
He listened to what you said at the bar that night. He’s been giving you so much affection it’s actually making the other women in the community quite jealous of you. He hasn’t kissed you yet but he kisses your cheek, your forehead, and- when he’s drunk or high enough- your neck. You don’t kiss him anymore. You’ve kissed his cheek a few times over the months, his head once when he was sick but other than that you try to keep to yourself. You’re still a bit traumatized from his first rejection, the way it played out, and everything. You’d rather just not risk it.
You’re in the garden and he’s in the field. You’re planting flowers, pulling and re-planting vegetables while Joel is harvesting the wheat he planted four months ago and tilling the land for the new seeds. You keep looking over at him, you really can’t help it at this point.
The sun is shining through his hair, making it a dark golden color with streaks of white running through it. His arms are smudged from handling the dirt all day and his biceps flex repeatedly as he picks the kernels off of the wheat and throws them into his basket. His eyebrows are creased and his eyes squinted to avoid the burning light of the sun and he keeps looking over at you. He really can’t help it at this point.
You look so beautiful, sitting on your knees with your adorably mismatched gardening gloves. Your hair falls so angelically every time you lean forward to lead a new plant to its home. Every time you sit back up you use the back of your wrist to try and shove the hair from your face, sputtering out, trying to blow the hair away and it's so endearing. Your arms are dirty and he feels the incredibly odd urge to bathe you. He’s ready to love you. He’s so fucking ready but he has no clue— not even the slightest— as to how he should tell you.
The current supervisor calls it a day and you almost fall face-first into the plants in your scramble to get to Joel. He’s taking off his gloves, flexing and stretching his fingers when he sees you rushing toward him with a huge smile he can’t help but mirror. “Hey, darlin’. You look so beautiful today.”
You freeze where you stand which luckily isn’t too far from Joel. He makes his way over to you, watching your expression. He loves it so much, he doesn’t understand how he never noticed it before. The way you always take a deep, shaking breath, your eyebrows go inward and you give him this look. He doesn’t understand it yet but it always makes him ache for you, makes him burn somewhere in the depths of his being to just be with you. He doesn’t know how long he can resist it. He doesn't want to. He doesn’t.
“I’m- I think I really- I just really wanna kiss you.” You snap out of your daze and your eyes focus on him, hopeful for a moment then a little dull. You turn your head, give him your cheek, close your eyes, and wait for the gentle kiss but nothing happens. You slowly open your eyes and look at him, he looks scared. “I wanna kiss you.”
You can hear your heart speed up, your breaths getting shorter and your thoughts more jumbled.
He wants to kiss me?
You’re confused for a moment, not understanding what brought this on. You’re eyes slip from his contact as you lose yourself in your thoughts, not realizing the silence you’re creating or the anxiety you’re causing. But Joel realizes, he’s sweating more than he has all day as he waits for you to say something, do something. He shifts his weight from foot to foot before giving up. “We don’t have to… I just- I wanted to…” He tries and fails to keep the sadness out of his voice.
His words strike fear in you and you reach out to grip his arm, hoping it’s enough to stop him from walking away. “Y-You wanna kiss me? On the… on the lips?” He’s surprised by your voice, it sounds far away, loose, and airy.
“I do.” It comes out with no hesitation, no stutters, no pause. You take a step closer to him and his expression twitches, his chest beginning to heave with anticipation.
“I would really love that, Joel.” You’re staring up at him now, as best you can in the sun. You’re looking into his eyes, an excited, mischievous glint in your eyes, challenging him, daring him to do something. And he loses his nerve.
“Oh! Okay. Thats… Thats good. I- I want you to come over later, alright? I’ll get us some weed and alcohol. You don’t need to bring snacks or nothin’ either jus- jus bring yourself, alright? Okay, see you then.” And with that, he walked off. His cheeks were absolutely burning. He couldn’t believe himself
‘That's good’? What the fuck is wrong with you, Miller? Leaving that darlin’ girl standing in the sun like that? It just ain’t right, she’s so sweet on you and you fuckin’ know it. I gotta stop doin’ this to her…
You’re watching Joel walk away. A bit stunned by the whole interaction, confusion, and questions swarm your head the whole walk home. They stick with you in the shower and as you get ready to head over to Joel’s. They accompany you on the whole walkover as well.
Maybe he wants me to do something… I know people like it rough, so maybe he wants me to take charge? He doesn’t really seem the type. Does this mean he wants me now? Will he kiss me tonight? Is that why he invited me over? Are we gonna have sex? Oh god, I hope so. I’d treat him so well- or maybe I wouldn’t since everyone likes it rough.
You’ve reached his block when you’re stopped by Susan; Joel’s biggest admirer. She places herself in front of you, blocking your path and forcing you to talk to her. “Oh, he’s not in, hun.”
You take a calming breath and try not to roll your eyes at her. “Okay… Well, I’m gonna check, just in case.” You turn your steps and try to make your way around her only for her to place herself right back in your way.
“I’m gonna be honest I- I don’ really get this whole thing with you an’ him. I just- I guess I don’ really see it… Do ya’ know what I mean?” You glare at her, ignoring her statement and waiting for her to just get out of your way. “I mean…” She steps closer to you. “I remember when you first got here…”
You can feel shame and embarrassment curl in your stomach at the mention of your arrival. You weren’t in the best place, mentally, and you did a lot- a lot- of things that you wished you hadn’t, lots of men you wished you hadn’t. “Don’t be an ass, Susan.” She backs away from you, a sinister smile on her face and her hands in the air.
“Hey! I’m” She laughs. “I’m jus sayin’... You were interested in a lot of different guys!” You start walking, refusing to listen to what she has to say. But the psycho bitch follows you. “I mean are you even sure that it’s him that you want? Weren’t you with Jared just a few months ago? I mean…”
You’re speed-walking to Joel’s now. You’re only a house away when she hops in front of you again. “Hun! I told you he ain’t home! I’m just-” She sighs and lowers her head as you crane your neck, hoping and praying Joel had made his way to the porch by now. But he hasn’t. “If you just want a man I can set you up with some of my friends! Some people who are… Gosh! How do I say this without bein’ rude? Some people who are more in your… lane… league?” Your head whips back at her, fury raging in your eyes at her audacity.
“Excuse me?” You question, low and threatening. “Well. Hun, c’mon now, don’t get all bent outta shape, I mean well! You and I both know Joel is too… hmm, well. He’s too good for you I guess.” You’re not staring at her, you’ve turned your head to the patch of sky you can see through the trees beside you, choosing to count the stars instead of listening to this shit.
“I’d strongly disagree.” You can hear her gasp and spin around as a smile spreads over your face.
Joel.
“Oh! I- I thought you weren’t home, sugar.” She tries to lean into him but he walks around her and grabs your arm, pulling you past her with a mumble of “Yeah. I know.”, ending the conversation.
Joel doesn’t speak until he’s gotten you inside. “I dunno why you listen to that woman. She spews nothin’ but garbage.” You watch him dart from cupboard to cupboard to retrieve his lighter and a little joint you can tell he rolled because it’s dented in the middle. “She’s always saying some dumb shit. I fuckin’ hate it.”
His eyebrows are furrowed and his face is hard as he lights it up. You can’t remember the last time you’ve seen him so angry. You watch the tension fall from his shoulders, his face relaxing as he inhales. You take your shoes off, still watching him as a small smile spreads over his face and he exhales. “Are you gonna share Joel?” You ask as he goes in for another hit.
“Hey- Be nice darlin’, it’s mine after all.” He teases while handing it to you. You push yourself up onto the counter, sitting next to where he’s leaning as you take a drag.
“Yours schmours, you’ll be fine.” He giggles— giggles— at your statement, his hand coming up to cover his smile as he laughs. All you can see are his pretty brown eyes, the creases around them, and the way they almost shut while he laughs. You feel your heart race, bringing along that urge that has gotten you in trouble many times over. Your eyes flicker to his lips and you immediately avert your gaze, taking another hit to try and calm yourself.
You wait for him to come back up from his designated, folded, laughing position and hold the joint out for him. You snort at the misshapen stick, causing you to choke on the smoke you were holding. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s what you get for laughing. Mhm.” You’re coughing up a lung as he says this, making the situation worse because you cannot stop laughing at him. He continues his remarks after taking a hit, you’re still choking and laughing, and you hold an arm out to him.
“Joel-” You cough. “Joel-” You laugh. “Joel, stop it. I’m- oh fuck.” You start coughing again in a way that has Joel turning to face you, amusement and a bit of concern on his face. “Oh my god, stop. I’m gonna die, don’t make me laugh- oh my god.”
He’s beaming at you, proud that you find him so funny and the high really hitting him. You can tell, his eyes are a bit hazy and his eyebrows are raised for some reason. He walks towards you when your fit dies down, pushing himself between your legs with a dazed look on his face. He’s just staring at your thighs for a moment, his head turning from left to right so he can look at both of them before looking up at you. Your heart is thrumming out of your chest as you try to keep your expression neutral, maybe a bit inquisitive. He stares at your lips for a bit before you see his hand raising with the joint. He brings it to your lips and looks back up at your eyes, his eyebrows jump, prompting you to inhale.
You take a long hit, trying to get as much smoke as you can, hoping it will calm you down. His eyes stay on yours, darkening as his breathing becomes a bit shallow. He pulls the joint away from your lips and puts it out right onto the counter before bringing his hand up to your cheek.
You haven’t exhaled yet, savoring the hit while he slowly brings your face to his. You’re watching his eyes, still on yours as he pulls you in. You begin to exhale, not wanting to hold the smoke in if he’s going to kiss you. That’s when he pushes your lips together. You try not to choke as he sucks the smoke out of your mouth and pulls away. You’re in a stupor as he grins at you and breathes your smoke out, re-lighting the fire in the pit of your stomach, the one that always seems to flare whenever he’s around.
“What’d ya think of that, huh? Good kiss or?” He’s wearing a smirk but his eyes are uncertain at your silence. You keep it up, not saying anything, just pulling him back in and smashing your lips into his. He accepts your kiss with a grunt from the force of it as his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in.
You’re gripping his hair like it's your lifeline, gripping his face like it’ll fall apart otherwise, it hurts a little but he’s fond of your eagerness. Your hands slide onto his shoulders and you dig your fingers into his skin brutally, pulling a wince from him. He separates your lips and strokes over your cheek with his thumb, admiring you. It's a soft, tender moment until you yank him by his belt loops, crashing him against the counter painfully to whisper in his ear. “I want you, Joel”
He smiles at this and kisses you again as you undo his belt. You remove it from the loops and let it drop to the ground so you can get to work on his button and zipper. You feel his lips stutter against yours and he pulls away, confused. “Not- not here, darlin’. ‘M not gonna do this in the kitchen.” He sounds a bit confused as he grips your hips and lifts you off of the counter and back onto the floor. They come back up to cradle your face again as he places a quick, soft kiss on your lips. “ ‘M gonna make love to you in my room, on my bed, baby.”
Make love..?
Confusion flows through your mind but you go along with him, assuming it’s just some outdated terminology. “Yeah? You gonna fuck me in your bed, Joel?” He is so shocked by your response. He doesn’t understand why you’re being so aggressive about it. He’s trying to be gentle, and loving but you seem to reject it. He gives you a brief but genuine smile before leading you to his room,
Your heart is racing as you follow Joel to his bedroom. This would be the first time you’ll be having sex with someone you care about, someone you love. You wondered if it would feel any different when he was shattering your hips with his own, would there still be that soft look of adoration in his eyes? You don’t see how the two could go together.
You get to his room and he shuts the door quietly. “Can you stay still, honey?” He rolled his sleeves up, only halfway, showing off his thick forearms. He’s circling you as he questions you, holding eye contact and stopping in front of you. “I- I wanna undress you.”
Your throat feels like it’s closed.
Undress me? Why would he want to- That doesn’t seem very time-efficient… Oh, but look at him.
His eyes are silently and subconsciously begging you to let him. You let him.
He takes a deep breath and his eyes rake down your body the moment you nod at him. He grabs your hips, pulling you to him with a boyish grin before running his fingers along the hem of your shirt. They tickle your skin softly as he brings them up, bunching the fabric before pulling it over your head. He looks right into your eyes as he does this. That soft look digs into your chest, it feels like you may explode.
He only breaks away from your gaze to throw your shirt on a chair in the corner. He brings his empty hand to cup your cheek, stroking his thumb across your skin as a sort of apology for diverting his attention. He looks back at you with a smile so gentle you may melt.
Your knees almost give out when he unbuttons your pants, he sticks his thumbs in the back of your waistband, leaning into you. He’s so close. He’s so close. He’s smirking like he knows you want to kiss him. He leans forward, licking his lips before abruptly ducking down, pulling your pants with him.
You let out a surprised squeal that has him smiling up at you. Your hand comes up to bury itself in his hair before you realize it. You admire the softness of it, how fluffy it is. His eyes droop, getting a foggy, clouded look in them as he stares up at you.
Make it good for him. Everyone likes it rough.
You pull it, much harder than necessary, and watch his eyebrows crease in what you assume is arousal as he grunts again. He lifts from his kneeling position and kisses you, a little harder than he did before.
His hands were running down your back, cupping your ass, and then stroking down your thighs. He’s breathing heavily against your face as his hands squeeze your inner thigh. They roam all over your body but never go where you want them, where you need them.
“Okay, Joel. Enough I need you. I- I need you.” He smiles underneath his bitten lip as you push him away and gesture to his entire body. “Take them off… Off!”
You’re basically ripping your undergarments off and running to him, unbuttoning his shirt for him as he takes off his pants. The moment your hands push his shirt open he’s kissing you instead. He walks you both onto the bed, tripping over his pants with a giggle before landing safely on the covers. You waste no time in climbing over him, whining out when his cock rubs along your soaked pussy. He lifts himself to try and kiss you but you’re not looking at him. You’re trying to push his dick into your soaking, aching pussy.
“Shit- Damn. Fuck, honey.” He slams himself back onto the bed, his hands tighten around your hips as you position your legs beneath you and slam your hips onto him. It fucking burns. You’re wet and wanting but he’s huge, the stretch of his fat cock burns inside you as his tip jams itself into your cervix painfully. You bit off more than you can chew. Joel is grunting harshly beneath you so you power through, attempting to hide your grimace as you let out half-honest moans.
“Fuck- No. No, no, stop, baby.” His hands force you down and hold you there, rendering you immobile as he sits up. You’re watching his abs clench as he sits up with no assistance but his pure muscle, your eyes only move to his face when he clears his throat.
You’re embarrassed now, under the impression that you’ve done something wrong, something he didn’t like. You wouldn’t know what to do if that were the case… You were doing what you normally do… You don't know any special moves or anything like that. “Did- You didn’t like it..?”
You ask as timidly as possible, hoping he could hear it and would be gentle.
“I- I mean I guess but it’s not what I want.” Confusion and a bit of anger flares inside you. How were you supposed to know what he wanted?
“Okay well, what do you want then, Joel?” His brows furrow and he brings a hand up to caress your face again.
“I want to make love to you. I told you that.”
There’s that fucking term again.
“I don’t know what that means, Joel! Isn’t it the same as fucking? I don’t get it.” His brows unfurrow instantly, becoming soft and a bit upturned in what seemed to be concern. And to add insult to injury… you can feel him softening inside you.
“What do you mean?” His voice is much softer than yours, but it frustrates you. You struggle not to roll your eyes at him.
“I do not know what that means. I do not understand.” You talk slower than necessary, not actually explaining anything. You’re being a brat.
He tilts his head at you, giving a gut-wrenching, disappointed look. He kisses your cheeks and tells you to be nice, that he’s just trying to understand you.
“No… It’s not the same as fuckin’. It’s gentle and lovin’. It’s me takin’ my time with you, gettin’ you to open up for me.” You can feel his dick filling back up, stretching you out beautifully.
“It’s me learnin’ about what you like, showin’ you what I think you’d like, and getting you to cum around me and for me as long as I can. It’s more focused on- on love rather than lust.” He sighs quietly. “I’m- I’m bettin’ you’ve never had that though…”
You hear sadness leak into his voice as he ends his sentence, watching you avert your gaze. He watches frustration and shame creep onto your face. “So what? I don’t even- I don’t think I even like it that way. Slow? It already takes me long enough to cum… I don’t need to be here for hours on end, Joel.”
He shakes his head at you sadly. “You would like it, baby.” He has one hand back on your hip as the other spreads out, his large hand spread over your back as he slowly flips you both over, resting you on the bed softly. “I- fuck, I know you’d love it, honey.”
His words resonate deep in your core, bringing a new wave of wetness to run over his cock. “Oh-” His hips stutter into yours as though he could feel the extra cream flowing over his dick. “Yeah, oh you’d- I think you’ll like it, darlin’”
He places you on the bed and finishes talking before kissing you and raising to straighten himself out. His hips thrust slowly into yours and fuck does it feel good. I mean of course it does, Joel is towing over you like a Greek god and his cock is sliding within your walls smoothly, stimulating every nerve it comes across. You start to buck your hips, impatient with the slow build of the pleasure. You wanted something explosive, something that will leave you heaving for breath and you cannot comprehend how you could possibly get there like this.
Joel smiles, shakes his head at your agitation, and presses his hands down onto your sporadic hips, forcing them to stay on the bed. “No. Softly, baby. Be gentle with me, c’mon.” He continues his rhythm before, rocking into you with breathless pants. Your pleasure felt just out of reach and it was insanely maddening. “Calm down.” He tells you in a low, warning tone. You swear he can read your mind.
“Tell me.” He leans down so his lips are right by your ear. He places a kiss on your temple and looks down at where the two of you connect, shoving his hair in your face. “Do you like this?” He keeps at his regular pace, the frustrating, agitating, insanely maddening pace. “Or… Do you-” He lets out a shuddering sigh right next to your ear, your eyes nearly rolling back at the faint sound. “Or do you like this?”
His pace changes into something indescribable. His hips are swiveling into yours and hitting eighteen different pleasure points at once. Your arms come up to grip his biceps, one instantly sliding down to his lower back to encourage him to keep it up.
“Oh-” You sound shocked and out of breath. “Oh. I like that one, Joel. This one. I like this one- please” His pace speeds up and he moans at the sound of your whimper. His attention is finally pulled from where you both meet and he’s looking right into your eyes.
This man and his fucking eye contact.
It’s doing something to you… the way he’s looking at you. It’s burning into your stomach and has you clenching around him, pulling another ragged, angelic moan from his lips, hitting your lips directly due to his position. You lean up and kiss him as much as you can, most of your brain had shut off the moment he flipped you both over.
He was hitting so deep inside you, a whole section that you didn't know existed. His cock is slowly sliding over every ridge in your pussy, his veins stimulating your sensitive walls. “Joel-”
It slips out like a whimper as your moans release. You’re suddenly on 100% volume, unable to hold anything in. You never learned how. You thought you just didn’t moan against your own will, never having been in enough pleasure to let out authentic moans.
Your hand comes from his lower back to slap over your mouth, desperately trying to hold all your noises in but Joel rips it away. “Don’t do- fuck you feel so fuckin’ good-“ His voice is shaking and breathless.
“Fuck, don’ cover up your- your moans, please. Fuck I wanna hear ‘em” He intertwines your fingers with his and holds your hand next to your head. He straightens himself as much as he can while keeping your fingers interlocked so he can grind into you more deliberately. He’s angling himself a million different ways until you convulse onto yourself. You try to hold in a scream as he fucks into… something. It’s almost painful, the way pleasure punches through your body with every thrust.
“Yeah?- God fuckin’ dammit."
His hips stutter as you involuntarily suffocate his dick in your pussy. “Fuck- Is that it? Your special spot, honey? I got it dead on, huh?” He’s wearing an irritatingly calm smirk as he teases you. You, on the other hand, can barely breathe.
You’re clawing at anything you can get a hold of, his arms, the back of his neck, his back. You feel like you could cry- or throw up at the otherworldly pleasure Joel is forcing onto you. Your mouth is perpetually open, spewing out moans every other second. Your eyes keep rolling back into your head despite your attempts to look at Joel. You can’t even wrangle together enough thoughts to coherently explain how good it feels, how good he’s making you feel. “Jo- Joel. F-” You’re cut off with a whine as he pushes himself into you more forcefully.
“Joey, please- You’re right it’s s’much better. Shit- Joel!-” You let out a more devastating moan than you have all night, causing Joel to groan out in response. Your eyes open to look at him and he’s staring right at you, his eyes are something you’ve never seen, they’re dark and threatening, like a lion stalking its prey. But in this situation the lion is in love with the gazelle, it’s evident in his eyes, all over his face as he moans for you.
“Of course ‘m r- right- Fuck, you’ve really got no clue how- how fuckin’-” His statement melts into a whimpering moan as he bends back down to moan into your ear. “You feel fuckin’ heavenly, darlin’.”
It creeps up on you out of fucking nowhere. A moan rips through your chest and destroying throat as you cum around him, his words pushing you to the edge. “Oh fu-uck. Yeah? S’that good, baby? Fuckin’- fuckin’ c-cumming all over my cock with no warning, love? Oh fuck me you’re s-so good, sweetheart.”
His words fuel your world-demolishing, soul-shattering, mind fucking-ly amazing orgasm. You can feel the pleasure coursing through your veins like molten gold. Your entire body is vibrating, you’re lifting off the bed into an ethereal plane as Joel keeps thrusting into you, moaning soft praises in your ear as you gush all over his cock.
Your eyes are permanently in the back of your skull as your hand runs frantically all over his body, trying to find something to ground you, to keep you from flying away on the cloud of pleasure Joel was providing for you.
He slows his thrusts in favor of you. Your moans had begun to get a bit desperate, all over the place, feverish and distraught as your pleasure bubbled over into overstimulation. Joel is kissing your neck softly, whispering even more soft words laced with love as your soul returns to your body with a broken whine of his name. He pulls his face out of your neck with a smile, his hips still thrusting into you slowly, just toeing the line of overstimulation. It has you losing your mind. You’re writhing against him as he smirks at you. “Do you want more? I can keep going, baby. I’ll go slow, soft, just like this.”
He gets a bit breathy at the end, his free hand comes up to cup your face as the one holding yours tenses for a moment. His head drops onto your shoulder as most of his body collapses onto you.
He’s still thrusting into you gently as he groans out against your neck. “Fuck me. You’re turning me into a fuckin’ teenager again.” He grunts out a whine into your skin. “Can’t fuckin’ control shit. O-oh I wanna make you cum again, sweetheart.” His hips speed up as he rambles to you. You lean away from him a bit, forcing his head from your shoulder, and turn to look at him.
He looks so wrecked. His lips are trembling, glossy, and red from all his biting. You didn't even notice. His eyes are on yours but they regularly lose focus, rolling into his head with a groan. “You’re makin’ me feel so fucking good, love. I just want you to feel as good- I wanna make you cum again.” He sounds more desperate than you could’ve ever imagined, your hand slides up the back of his neck and buries itself in his hair, scratching at his scalp softly, causing his eyes to cross lightly as he moans against you, hips stuttering. “Let me. Let me, let me. Let me pl-lease”
His unabashed begging has you clenching around him erratically, pulling a ruined groan from his lips. “M-make me cum again, Joel. C’mon, baby. I want-” He’s already moaning into your mouth as you speak, his hips fucking into you unsteadily. You’re already close from the intensity of the moment, Joel’s hand cradling your face, your hand in his hair. His head is resting against yours, forehead to forehead but his eyes are still open, piercing your soul and your heart with the love that's residing in them, it has your pussy clenching around him desperately. He’s moaning out shamelessly, loudly, and right into your face, into your mouth.
“I’m gonna- I need you to c-cum. Holy sh-” You cut him off with a wet, searing kiss that’s mostly groans and whines into the mouth of the other. Your hips lift off the bed to buck into him softly, grinding your clit into the patch of curls that rests on his pelvis. He’s smiling at your movements, the contrast in how they were when he started with you.
“Y-yeah. Good, baby. Soft. Just l-like that, sweetheart. You’re so fuckin’ pure.” His eyes roll back into his head as your pussy begins to flutter around him. You can feel it this time, building inside you. The coil in your stomach tightens as you feel the angelic feeling inch back into your veins. Your hands grip his hair more desperately, pulling his ear to your lips as your orgasm begins to spill over.
“I’m- I’m cumming, Joey.” You’re voice stabs into him. The high-pitched and desperate, shocked innocence in it has him twitching inside you. His pace is ruined the moment you utter those words into his ear. He can feel his eyes shoot to the back of his head as he falls into your shoulder again and starts to cum inside you.
It’s more than heavenly, cumming at the same time as you. His cock is throbbing, shooting out thick, heavy, ropes of his cum inside you as your pussy pulses in time with him, milking him for everything he has. He can’t breathe, all the air has punched out of him as he tries to warn you that he’s cumming.
He wants to moan out for you, call your name over and over to hear you work yourself up into those whining moans you can’t help but let out. He gathers enough strength to push himself up and look at you. He feels like a whole new round of cum spews out of him at the sight. Your eyes are crossed as you moan out at the ceiling. He’s vaguely aware of the way your hand has twisted and tightened in his hair as you cum, your nails digging into his other hand.
He’s smiling through the second round of cum that pumps into you, deliriously happy with how hard he’s made you cum. You sound like you’re in the same situation as him, all the air suddenly gone from your lungs. You’re just letting out barely perceptible moans of his name on loop.
His thighs shake as his dick finally stops pouring into you. He looks down at the ring of white sitting on the base of his dick and groans. He looks back up at you, wanting to show you the mess you’ve made on him but you’re still so far gone. Your pussy pulses around him arrhythmically as you mutter up at the ceiling, your hand stroking through his hair subconsciously.
He’s able to come down before you. He pulls out and lays next to you, his head on your chest while he’s muttering those same, soft praises into your ear as your soul tries to find its way back to your body again. You follow the sound of his low praises, grounding you and pulling you back to reality. “-baby. I’m so in love with you. Thank you so fuckin’ much for waitin’ for me, I know it was hard, but I love you so fuckin’ much. You’re so incredible, so so incredible, baby. The best lady I know, the only lady I wanna know. You-” You have a faint, tired smile spreading across your face as he goes on, sounding more out of it than you feel.
“I love you so much, Joel.” You mean to say it softly, fondly but it comes out as something more like a sob. He gasps and looks up at you, that’s when you notice the tears that have escaped your eyes. “This is so embarrassing…” Your hands wipe at your escapee tears furiously as Joel watches you in shock.
“Hey,” He starts to wipe some of your tears away alongside you, although much more softly than your own hands. “ S’not embarrasin’.” He places an endearing kiss to your lips. “I think it’s so fuckin’ cute. The cutest things I’ve seen in years, honestly.”
You giggle at his exaggeration and kiss his cheeks. “I’m bein’ serious, baby.” He’s giggling too now, placing kisses all over your face, stopping every tear that slips out with his lips.
“I love you so much, Joel.” You take a deep breath as his kisses slow. “It feels like my heart is being choked, squeezed, and like thrown around in my chest whenever I’m with you. I don’t even have the vocabulary to explain how much I feel for you.”
His eyes are wide and a bit watery as you speak. One hand is on the top of your head, running over your hair as you speak while the other is on your him, his thumb stroking over the skin, sometimes lifting to draw specific patterns. “I wish I had a way to make you feel what I feel toward you, Joel. It’s so fucking much. I feel like it’s gonna explode and pour out of every orifice.” He chuckles and kisses you again, this one feels more emotional, more loving, grateful, and comforting.
“There you go, talkin’ all proper again.” He kisses you again shortly. “I- I feel the same way darlin’. Except I know even less words to use to explain it to ‘ya. Fuck I- I fuckin’ I wish I could tell ‘ya. You- You feel like- like my whole existence. If that makes sense… No, no it doesn’t, does it? Damn. I- Shit.” You place a hand on his face and make him look at you.
“You don’t have to say as many things as I did. You’ve already shown me that you love me through your actions… through this. I didn’t even know it could be like that, Joel. That it could- could feel that… good. I didn’t know it was a thing, and then you came in- with all your love and softness, and you showed me a whole new side of everything. I already know… is what I’m trying to say. I know you love me, Joel. I just hope you know that I love you.”
A single tear slips out of his baby cow eyes and he quickly wipes it away with a smile. “I- I know, baby. Trust me, I know.” He smiles wider and brighter than you’ve ever seen, he’s blinding you with its beauty before laying back down on the bed next to you. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you onto him.
“You’re gonna stay, right? Sleep in here with me?” You shake your head disapointedly against his stomach.
“Obviously, I’m staying here, Joel.” The sigh of relief he lets out almost breaks your heart. You place a few kisses on his belly for reassurance. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He chuckles at your words and sounds far away, sleepy, adorable. “Okay… Good. Good, I want you to stay… ‘M gettin’ tired though, honey.” As if on cue, a yawn makes its way up and out of your mouth. “Yeah, me too. Goodnight, Joey.”
He sighs, and you can’t see it, but a smile splits his face the moment he hears the nickname. “G’night, my love.”
thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist!
#joel miller#joelxreader#joel miller x reader#joel tlou#joel miller fanfic#joel miller smut#joel miller one shot#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfiction#pedro pascal last of us#pedro pascal#the last of us smut#the last of us#luvrxsmut#luvrxfics#smut#nsft#joel the last of us#sub joel miller
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Zb1 members as love tropes<3
🤍 pairing : zb1 members x genderneutral!reader
🤍 warning : cursing, not proofread
🤍 genre : fluff cuz thats all i know what to write, a bit of angst in gyuvin's
🤍 word count : idk tbh sorry
♡kim jiwoong
fake relationship
you were in a same acting project
while practicing the script together, he proposed the idea first
saying that it would help with the chemistry between you two
"are you serious?" you hesitated.
"yeah, what could go wrong?" he simply replied with his sexy ass eyes
after shooting for couple scenes, both of you start to get confused with the relationship
it felt REALLLL
he asked you to meet after the shooting
"i think," he started. "i think, you know, i might fall in love with the idea of us"
♡zhang hao
soulmate
you were sitting down in the corner of a coffee shop, reading the same page of the book over and over
all because of the overly handsome guy who was sitting across the coffee shop, doing something on his macbook
you swear you could feel him in your memories
while sipping your tea, you try to steal another glance, but he already looking at you
it made you jumped on your chair, frantically trying to flip trough the pages of the book in your hands
you had your head down, eyes focusing on the book hoping that he wont catch you staring
but then, you heard the chair moves, footsteps getting close
"fuck im fucked" you cursed under your breath
"im sorry to disturb you," he softly knocked on your table, "have we met before?"
"huh?" thats what im thinking! you thought
"i know its weird but i think we might have history? i dont know but i could feel you somewhere in my memories but cant pinpoint where" he let out an awkward chuckle
you smiled, amazed by the situation, "its crazy cuz i feel the same too"
"uh, then, can i sit here with you?"
♡sung hanbin
summer's fling
you decided to have a vacation at a beach for the whole summer
everything was doing great, especially with your crazy good looking tourist guide
he was sweet, funny, great at making coffee and got really attractive when his on the surfing board
you two were having popsicles
"have you ever surfed?" he popped a question
"surf? i've never... isn't it kinda scary?" you replied
"well, at first, it was. but then it became my comfort activity. i can teach you"
then here you are, face being hit by the waves countless of time
"it's hard! i think i have low iron or something, i can't stand on this thing" you sulked
he giggled "you're just scared. come on its okay, im here for you, to hold your hand" gazing your eyes
the silence was too loud and your cheeks is burning hot in the summer heat
you avoided his gaze
he smirked "and for the whole summer too"
♡seok matthew
first love
you two were 18
and he was your class monitor
he was the brightest and it was hard to not fall in love
you were having the fattest crush on him and it was kinda- no, really obvious, your friend said
during the midterm exam, you blew off the test so bad
"yo, mr.park wants you at his table" your classmate informed
upon entering the teachers' room, you were a bit taken aback seeing matthew was there too
it was embarrassing to have your crush watching you being nagged for your bad test result
"honestly i don't know what is wrong with you, but if this happen again next exam, you might just give up college" mr.park sighed "but i am a responsible teacher, i wouldn't let that happen. hence, this is why our matthew is here"
"pardon sir?" you heard him, just need confirmation
"2 or 3 month tutoring is not that bad right? i heard our guy here is very good at teaching, right?" mr.park said
during the first tutor was very nerve wrecking, you didn't want your feelings get to him
"are you okay? you look a bit tense" he asked
"i- im f- fine, yeah"
"really? wanna stop a second?"
"no- i really don't understand this part" you quickly changing the subject
"oh this one? let me see" he scooted closer to you
and your reflex was to get away from him, resulting to you falling off the chair
"woah im sorry! you okay?" he went to help you get up, resulting you to slide away from his touch
"i- im okay!" you said, avoiding him
poor boy was confused
but then it kinda clicked, "you really like me that much?" he smiled, "i thought i was the only one who likes you" he confessed
♡kim taerae
love at first sight
you were going out to relieve your stress
just walking around the city
and then you heard a beautiful voice singing accompanying the guitar sounds
you walked to the voice and saw a man doing a busking with lots of people surrounding him
at one point, he smiled so brightly and sweetly that your heart couldn't handle it
while you were falling in love with his smile and voice, he just happened to look at you and his smile brighten
you stayed until the show was over
he started to tidy up his equipments but halted when he saw you
"oh, you... you stayed till the end?"
"yeah..., you have such a sweet voice, and smile"
he smiled again, "ah, i get that a lot"
you said without skipping a beat, just following your thoughts "can i have your number?"
♡shen ricky
childhood friends
you two weren't the closest friends, but for some reason, you had a lot of memories together as a child
you parted ways when high school started, he started to get famous and you just there, being the outsider
but once college life started, you two were miraculously got into the same university
both of you still didn't talk to each other, just smiles and awkward hi's when crossing paths
but one day, while you were eating alone in the cafeteria, he made his way to you
"hey, can i sit here?"
glancing to all the empty spaces in the cafeteria, you replied "yeah"
putting down his food, he started "it has been a while right?"
"i know" you continued "i saw you come to school with different sport car everyday"
"oh, you've been stalking me?" he teased
"wha- no! im just- you're every girl's topic, it's impossible to ignore" you were taken aback
he smirked, "ah the girls, were you jealous?"
you scoffed in desbelief "why- i- you acted like you don't know me wrong the whole 4 years and-"
"i wanna know all about you now" he cut off
♡kim gyuvin
enemies to lovers
you don't know when it started, but the tension between you two are always tense
he just know how to make you mad in every way possible
but in the end, its him you seek comfort to
one day your group friends were having a visit to the amusement park
but eventually all of them can't make it, leaving you two to enjoy the fun
"why is it always you" you sigh
he scoffed "huh, you really think i want to hang out with you? make it make sense."
but not wanting to waste the precious ticket, you guys decided just to take the roller coaster ride
but boy is scared asf
unconsciously, he grabbed your hand and held it the whole ride
after the ride, you seriously wanted to make a hideous remark to his situation that moment but he was really sick
he silently sat down to the nearest wall, head pulled all the way down
feeling a bit worried, you asked "hey, you okay?"
"i told you i hate these rides" he replied with a small voice
"i- im sorry, i didnt know that" you hesitated, but eventually have him small pats on his back
to your shock, he suddenly hugged you
"shut up, i really needed this" he reasoned
"you scaredy baby" you smiled, putting your chin on his head
♡park gunwook
bestfriends to lovers
it was raining hard and you guys were stuck in a convenience store
boy was craving some ramyeon so he called you to go for a midnight run
"i know it was already a bad idea when you ring me at 1 in the morning" you sighed
"well, at least we can eat ramyeon" he responded
looking at your dispirited expression, another stupid idea popped out of his head
he grinned,"hey, wanna do something fun?"
he grabbed your wrist and started to bolt out of the store
"WTF ARE YOU DOING" you screamed after being greeted by the heavy rains
"AINT THIS IS FUN" he screamed back
you two laughed and continue to run aimlessly, hand in hand
after a while, you two sit in the rain, and he looked at you, asking for eye contact
he smiled and you replied his smile
"i love you" he confessed
♡han yujin
boy next door
it has been 2 years since you moved in the current house
but it was kinda hard to be close with the neighbors, everyone was busy with their lifes
but every morning before going to school, you always meet this beautiful boy that lives one unit below you
you two would exchange smiles and nods and thats it
but one day, he knocked your door
"he- hey" he shyly greeted
"oh, um yeah why..?" this is bizarre
"im sorry but do you have some salt..?" he asked
"some what?"
"ah," he scratched his head "i tried cooking and i just realized i dont have... you know, uhh... salt."
you went in the get some salt
"here you go" you smiled "you need more help?"
he hesitated for a second
"oh its oka- i mean- i think i need some help, the bacon is kinda burnt.." he let out an awkward chuckle
ah, yeah of course lets go save the bacon" you laughed
while going to his house, he said "just saying, but i've been wanting to talk to you" he shyly confessed
p/s : yeah i was inspired by Love Struck in the City for shanbin's and Have We Met Before by Sarah Barrios for matthew's ngehngeh plz do send me ideas for me to writes more! -inha🍒
#zerobaseone#kim jiwoong#zhang hao#sung hanbin#seok matthew#kim taerae#ricky#kim gyuvin#park gunwook#han yujin#zb1 jiwoong#zb1 zhang hao#zb1 hanbin#zb1#zb1 matthew#zb1 taerae#zb1 ricky#zb1 gyuvin#zb1 gunwook#zb1 yujin#zb1 drabbles#zb1 x reader#zb1 imagines#zb1 scenarios#zb1 fluff#boys planet#kpop
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hiii bestie i hope you’re doing well 🌷 can i request a fluffy frank piece that includes “i can’t sleep without you” <3 the quote doesn’t have to be exactly that ofc you can change it however you see fit :) please feel free to disregard this if it doesn’t inspire you!! 💛💐🌟🌷
can't sleep without you.
FRANK CASTLE X FEM!READER
cw fluffy drabble. NON-DESCRIPTIVE READER.
a/n THIS IS BAD. OH MY GOD. also this request is so old, IM SORRY IM SO BAD AT DELIVERING.
masterlist | taglist
The big window to the right of the bed shook as if someone was trying to open it. You rolled your eyes and huffed in annoyance. After tossing and turning for the whole night in worry, you had just settled to your left side. With a grunt, the window opened, and you knew who it was exactly.
You sat up, waiting for him to drag himself inside and shut the window. You pulled your knees to your chest and glared daggers at your boyfriend—albeit sleepily. He hadn't noticed you, for darkness consumed the room, and his large form covered the light the moon shone towards the bed.
"Look, what the fucking cat dragged in," your tone was as sarcastic as it could get.
Frank jumped and jerked his body to face yours. He breathed in relief when he saw your silhouette under the covers, but his frown soon returned, as did the pain on his side. He hissed, and your irritated expression fell, morphing into one of worry and fear.
"What?" Your voice shook. "What is it?"
He dropped his bag by the window and walked by the bed, heading to the bathroom—all while holding his side, which worried you more. You threw the covers off, running after him.
"Frank!"
He waved his hand and tried to shoo you and shut the door so you wouldn't see how bad he looked, but because his limbs were heavy and his moves slow, you managed to slip inside with him.
"It's okay, baby. You can go back to bed. I'll join you after I take a shower." Frank's voice was deep by nature, but this tone was underlined with pain.
You shake your head and move to get the small first aid kit you keep for situations like this one. Frank leans on the sink, takes his shirt off, lips pursed, and stares at you. He studies you carefully, from head to toe, ensuring you're okay. Is that his shirt?
"Is that my shirt?" He asks, but you don't answer.
You're worried, yes, but you're also angry at the man for not contacting you and having you worry so much.
"Baby...talk to me, please," he speaks so softly, and how do you not break at that moment?
You press your fingers to the massive bruise forming on the side he was holding, biting the inside of your cheek. He hisses, and a small smirk slips on your lips. Serves him right.
"Oh, you find my pain funny?" Frank tries again, but you just look up at him sharply.
His head tilts to the side. "Why weren't you sleeping?"
You sigh at the honest confusion in his tone. You can't be mad at this buffoon—as much as you want to.
You shrug, applying cream to the scratches on his shoulder now. "Couldn't sleep without you," you say quietly.
"What's that, honey?" You know damn well he heard you.
"Don't push your luck."
He hisses when you slap the bandaid on his shoulder blade harder than needed. He manages to chuckle and moves his hand to pull you closer once you try to move away.
"What?" Your angry facade is slipping more and more by the moment, as sleep tries to evade all of your senses.
"I'm sorry for worrying you, sweet girl." Frank smiles down at you, and you blink, gaze softening completely.
"Apology accepted. Now, go shower. You smell like gunpowder and fish."
[ taglist @scoliobean @fanboyluvr @spookys-girl @j-deimos @torresbarnes @this-is-a-bad-idea @mylifeispainandiloveit @mvnsons-slvt @alexxavicry @oksloan3 @luluwinchester @xoxabs88xox ]
#frank castle#frank castle x reader#frank castle fluff#frank castle fanfiction#jon bernthal#jon bernthal x reader#the punisher#the punisher x reader#marvel#mcu#nmcu fanfic#slight angst#frank's asks#frank writes
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About language brainrot. Imagine writer creator reader who finally learns how to write in Teyvat's weird symbols and they want to publish their book. They decided to do it anonymously to avoid the "aaaaaah our creator wrote the holy scripture" sort of situation. Except it didn't work. The reader's style is too different from the rest of the world, so even if they tried to simulate the flowery speech it wasn't effective.
Another thing. Reader who decided to read some local books to practice their reading. They asked for something simple and similar to their speech. But the only books merely similar to it are 2000 and more years old. It's funny how the older text is the more you can understand it. On this note. If reader write something i feel like it would be hard to understand for Teyvat's people.
Imagine a reader who is autistic or has any other NDs imparing their communication skills. They practically trained themselves to say sertain phrases in sertain situation. But it doesn't work in Teyvat. And everything just stacks at each other. Difference in speech, being a God (so people react weirdly to you), bad communication skills, not understanding nonverbal cues and so on. There's gonna be a lot of misunderstanding. I imagine how followers would walk on the eggshells not to upset and angry their God and reader who does the same not to say something people will get wrong. Again.
Reader who regained all their memories of creating Teyvat, they're super powerful and stuff. But they still struggle with the modern language. Because all the memories are like millions years old.
✨️NEXYLAZA UR SO FUCKING SMART AND CREATIVE✨️ UR BRAIN>>>>>> EVERYTHING
GIF Akashi (black hair) is all the people who read the Sagau/Isekai Genshin tag and Bokuto (silver) is STILL ME RANTING ABOUT LANGUAGE IN TEYVAT LMAO
They cant escape me, sorry people who just wanted to read SAGAU normal things, im filling up the tag💀
I HAD OTHER ASKS BEFORE THIS ONE AND AS I GOT THRU EM I WAS "OMMGGGG WE'RE GETTIN CLOSER TO NEXY'SSSS ASSSKKKK EEEEEEE"
YOU ARE A GODDAMN GENIUS
DHALALWKDHDHS
ME ABOUT THIS ASK:
(^ lol biblically accurate deadaquarius)
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGINNNN
BRAINROTTING OVER UR ENTIRE ASK!!
♡
Also, its getting kinda old now, so here is the blunt language v. Teyvat's flowery language post for reference! :)
Hhhhhhhhhhh
IF U WRITE STUFF
AND UR IN WORDY TEYVAT LAND
AINT NO WAY,👏
U COULD EVEN, 👏👏
GET CLOSE👏👏👏
TO THESE BITCHES SPEECH👏👏👏👏
◇
Like,, imagine right now if i told you to write me 4 pages of an essay in entirely early 18th century vernacular.
(For reference: when the story Pride & Prejudice takes place)
... like??
Bitch aint no way u can do that and actually show that to a historian or an actual living person from that time period
and them actually say "wow! An excellently worded 18th century essay!"
💀.
◇
So tying into that whole, "the only simple texts are like literal cunnieform clay tablets or sm shit"
Your writing to them just sounds like if a scribe just copied off what one of those tablets said just onto paper HAHA
And like, if u try and dress it up, it just ends up sounding like its from a slightly later time period
Like if ur casual writing sounds like 1 million years ago, u being flowery sounds like 8-7 thousand years ago u cant win LMAO
◇
Omg ur trying to go to that-
wait whats it called,,fuck i dont know Sumeru good enough yet
The.. HOUSE OF DAENA GOT IT
Yeah so ur thinking "Oh what better way to learn a dialect?/vernacular than reading books by them!"
And u basically snatch Alhaitham at the soonest possible chance to take you there
(Bc when i went in, it was just random lore books everywhere so)
Needless to say you have no clue how this place is organized, so u convince him to direct you to books u can easily read first
Like as close to your speech as possible!! U tell him :)
.
..
...lol
It literally takes like 3 hours to get something readable LMAO
Bc when the poor feeble scribe initially brought you smth he thought was pretty old and close to ur speech, like just first thought,
... It sounded like it was from the middle of the 18th century to you lol
So, with a "hmm" and a squint at the dusty book you'd already given up on
Alhaitham slowly went around the library making a stack of books, dropped them off in front of you... not a single sentence.
...then he made a stack of scrolls...
..nope..
...a stack of stone tablets...
.....getting closer?? it was really weird seeing Shakespearean language carved into stone....
...and then, with a conversation to a second library secretary deeper in the library, past a caged area of shelves to protect them...
...he escorts you behind the restricted section towards the back filled with glass display cases.
(Several of which contain the most ancient looking sets of artifacts you've ever seen)
...Finally, u arrive at a long glass case of several clay tablets.
Half of which sound like they're from the 1910s-20s, and the other, even older half, sounding straight out of the 2000s..
..
....
......
...Good god.
(Good..you??)
These crazy speaking bastard-previously-video-game-characters were right.
...
You are suddenly, viscerally hit with the image of Zhongli's idle, "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memory?" 💀
◇
Alhaitham side eyes you,, (he looks,, very interested, yet also kinda concerned??? HIM, CONCERNED????!!!)
"Ahem, the texts before thy Greatest Lord art the eldest- well, perhaps, more appropriately, the eldest and most intact, pieces of written language known to our humankind."
...
....aYOO MAN 😭😭
...Ur just staring at these half cracked, baked clay tablet thingys, full of slang from like 2003-
Alhaitham coughs.
"Uh, thanks. ...Sorry about all the.. trouble with this..."
BRO HOW OLD DOES HE THINK U ARE NOW-
"This task assigned to mine own person was of no trouble to my mind or spirit, Greatest Lord, fret not about it any longer."
And with a sort of shell-shocked atmosphere surrounding both of you, Alhaitham walks off to check out some other restricted books, hovering nearby yet also trying to give u space LOL
Top 10 cursed images: Seeing "Chillax, bro, dude, and weeb" carved into ancient clay tablets that look like they would be part of the Egyptian exhibit back in ur world 💀
◇
You eventually just kind of end up writing a couple pages after studying the writings, going younger and younger (nothing has ever made u feel more powerful...yet also more old..)
You stretch, just as Alhaitham finally has made his own little stack of creaky old books
He seems very curious to read what u wrote, peaking a glance over the top of his book every so often (lol nerd, cute nerd... but NERDDD)
You just offer the academic lunatic what he wants 🙄
"Haha, wanna take a look? Some drafts are... closer than others..."
The scribe immediately puts his book down, not even saving his page,
"I would be honored, Greatest Lord."
Is he excited?? 💀 omfg
U very slowly hand ur most recent practice pages over, he curls his hand under his chin "hmm" ing
...Alhaitham shakes his head
"My..deepest apologizes My Creator, but this still seems, at the earliest, from when papyrus was invented, and not yet even into scrolls..."
OK BUT ALHAITHAM WOULD GENUINELY GIVE NO FUCKS ABT CRITIQING YOU, HE MAY BE MORE POLITE ABT IT BUT EVEN IF U DID MAKE THE WORLD HES GOING FOR IT
KAVEH HAS A HEART ATTACK BC HIS ROOMMATE GOT ONTO GOD LMAO
U let ur head plop on ur pile of papers, srry babe youll never be as fancy as Mr. Darcy 😕
And as ur resting there, contemplating just walking out and finding smth to eat instead- same
Alhaitham picks up another draft.
Except it's your first attempt.
As in, you didn't even try, first attempt.
You just made some bullet point notes or some Bs, in ur regular. modern. language.
Alhaitham knocks his chair over standing up so fast-
(HE GETS SHUSHED BY THE RESTRICTED LIBRARIAN LOL, also another person unafraid to scold God lol)
...he says its a perfect example of the oldest records they've found of writing on the continent, most of which they haven't even translated yet
He asks u to teach him how to read this/speak like this lol
♧
(^^^not my best work but hope yall got smth outta it💀)
I WAS LITERALLY GONNA MAKE A WHOLE POST ON THE NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCE OF BEING A GOD IN TEYVAT
ESPECIALLY OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER VARIETY!!!
THERES JUST
ACK
aCK HDHAKD
SO MUCH
TO SAY
!!!
AHHHHH
OK BUT LIKE
IF WE ACTUALLY TOOK THIS TO THE EXTREME IM IMPLYING IT WOULD BE
LIKE TEYVAT SPEAKS SEVERAL DECADES BEHIND U- MAYBE EVEN ACTUALLY
CLOSE TO PRIDE AND PREJUDICE TIMES SPEECH
THEY WOULD LITERALLY BARELY COMPHREHEND YOU
IMAGINE TRYING TO TALK TO MR. DARCY 😭
THATS LITERALLY ALL OF TEYVAT
JUST
???¿¿?????!!! <- THEM ALL THE TIME
ESP IF UR NEURODIVERGENT
I THINK IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE PROOF FOR THEM TO THINK UR GOD
BC UR BEHAVIOR WOULD BE "OFF" TO THEIR NEUROTYPICAL ASSES,
YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS,
LIKE UR MASKING MAYBE BUT
U CANT KEEP THAT SHIT UP ALL THE TIME-
ESP IN CRAZY ISEKAI CIRCUMSTANCES
AND LIKE-
(ok ill tone it down before i also get shushed)
U used to be a player!!
Which would maybe mean u got rlly comfy playing Genshin all the time!
...like i know im kinda stimming when im gaming (and my natural stim is rocking so yeah no way they wouldnt notice that 💀)
So, since u may be still yknow unconsciously wanting to be comfy (esp around ur mains/team/favs)
U probably have stimmed a little around them, which, not that neurotypicals dont stim, but like
They would notice after awhile
And esp people like Alhaitham, Zhongli, Ningguang, Xiao, Ei, Aether/Lumine, Kaeya, Diluc, Kazuha, Heizou, Shenhe, Kokomi, Sara, Albedo, Dainsleif- !! GASP- !! <- my bbygirl omg i forgot abt u before now im so sorry </3
(once again i have not checked a character list, forgive my sins my readers)
^^^ Are like pretty focused on you/observant, so they'd eventually pick up on it first probably
..
...
....which allsssooo means they're like, collecting all ur neurodivergent thingys lol to compile as EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU AS TO WHY THEY KNOW UR THE CREATOR LMAO
◇
Honestly the biggest factor against u is definitely social interaction,, srry love :/
(if it helps, its bc i know itd be my downfall too thats why thats there ^ 😔)
Mostly bc i have this idea/theory? obervation? that when I especially met Adepti for the first time
Esp ones that werent as close to human society for as long as some others (like think Xiao vs. Ganyu)
And for literally every other non-human people we've met so far in Genshin-
They kinda- they kinda, radiate neurodivergent energy??
Like, they're not adherring to social norms, and not in like a bad way,
But its still rlly obvious (i mean also its probably exaggerated for us as an audience) that theyre not human pretty quickly
coughzhonglicough
COUGHVENTICOUGH-
oh geez wow excuse me, cold weather must be gettin to me- ahem hem-
Anyway, like what Nexy said in the ask,
...
...Yall are all just tiptoing around each other 😭😭
Bc these ppl arent from Earth countries,
All their behavior is weird to you 😭
U dont know how to mask with them yet 😭😭
THE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MISCOMMUNICATION THAT HAPPENS ALREADY WHEN UR NEUROSPICY VS. NEUROBLAND PPL
IS LIKE, ALMOST WORSE??
Bc they cant even understand ur phrasing bc its so simple 😭😭😭
◇
Tldr: "Being Neurodivergent means ur a god, confirmed." - says all of Teyvat's denizens
◇
NEXYLAZA.
MY BELOVED.
I AM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN.
IF I COULD GIVE IT A HUG I WOULD🫂✨️👏👏👏👏
BC I WAS ALREADY LIKE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND LIKE-
*rubs my little rat gremlin hands together*
"hmHmHMMMM BuT wHaT iF mAYbE yOU reMeMbeREd cReATinG TeyVAT, hmHMHMMMMM"
AND FOR VERBALIZING IT WITHIN BLUNT LANGUAGE AU- !!!!!!!
(one of my favs, if u cant tell)
I would (platonically) kiss you right now dude.
Instead I give this:
♡ ily
And also, I AM GOING TO MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS-
MAYBE EVEN A FANFIC, OR ONE SHOT AHDHAKFHSKLAAL-
UNTIL NEXT TIME MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME <333
PSPSPSPSsppspspspssss Last Time! CLOSES TOMORROW @1pm CST: VOTE on my 100+ followers celebration POLL :)
Tell me what u wanna see me write about! PSPSPSPSpspspspssss
(U can vote even if ur new! :] )
THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING THIS ASK
THIS IS A TREASURE OF MINE NOW
GONNA HIDE IT IN MY LITTLE CAVE OF SCREENSHOTTED SAGAU POSTS <333 hehehehehehehehehehe
THIS IS LIKE PT2 TO MY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE POST AHHHHH
NEXY BIG BRAIN ILYSM <3
Cheers,
🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza lol ur own ask im a menace sorry
#NEXYLAZA NEXT LEVEL#ALWAYS SO EXCITED WHEN I SEE AN ASK OR A REBLOG FROM U#EEEEEEEEEEEEE#BLUNT LANGUAGE VS TEYVATTTT#GOD READER REMEMBERS BEING CREAATTOOORR#IM LOSING IT#ask box open#genshin impact#genshin sagau#sagau#genshin imagines#my asks#gender neutral reader#genshin sagau ideas#please send asks#genshin isekai#genshin god reader#genshin impact sagau#genshin imagines reverse harem#i mean what#genshin lore#i feel like i was vibrating typing all of my response#my favorite russian <3#perhaps even above childe#LMAO#al haitam x reader#genshin impact imagines#neurodivergent reader#neurodivergent imagines#genshin disability imagines
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Thoughts ab clingy bf new? Esp trying to distract when playing games?
(shh i want more chanhee content i love him)
im ripping my hair out U ALWAYS SOMEHOW KNOW WHAT TO ASK TO GET MY BRAIN GOING ILY
clingy chanhee thoughts !!
minors dni ; boyfriend chanhee x afab reader ; 656 words
warnings ! established relationship , dom!chanhee , oral (reader rec) , edging , not proofread + lowercase intended :3
chanhee is so ,, im in love with him istg
hes such a tease mostly bc he loves when u get fed up with how distracting hes being n finally snap (but he'll never admit it) but also hes so cute when hes clingy ,, how can u say no to a pretty boy like him ? (spoiler : u cant)
he'll literally do anything in his power to distract u especially when ur playing games bc why don't u just play with him ? he rlly doesn't get it !!
if ur sitting on the couch while playing, he'll sit next to u at first, n then when he realizes u have no intention of paying attention to him he'll lay his head on ur lap, one of his pretty delicate hands (i love chanhee's hands btw aaaaa im crazy aaaa) squeezing ur thigh from time to time.
you'd call his name out a few times as a warning, your eyes never leaving the screen as chanhee pouts bc u r literally so mean! he keeps raking his brain for an idea to get ur attention as he plays with the hem of ur shirt, the tips of his fingers brush against your sides and making you shiver, but still not giving him your undivided attention.
thats when chanhee has the best idea ever.
"can i eat you out?" he asks casually, as if hes asking what movie u should watch later tonight, or what's for dinner (for you? who knows! for chanhee? you, apparently) that wasn't funny sorry
chanhee's mission is successful, as you pause your game and slowly put the controller down to your side, giving him an incredulous look while he smiles innocently at u.
"what?"
"i said," he sits back up, one hand still on your waist "can i eat you out?"
you know this is where it would eventually go. yet you can still feel your face heat up in embarrassment, as if chanhee isn't literally your boyfriend and he hasn't seen you in far more compromising situation than eating u out in the couch.
"yeah," you finally say once you manage to break out from the initial shock. chanhee is ecstatic, leaving a quick kiss on ur lips before getting on his knees on the floor and tugging impatiently at your shorts and underwear to take them off of u in one go.
he's so eager, and has been acting needy and clingy for the whole past hour or so, you really don't expect him to start teasing you out of nowhere, when hes so close to getting what he wants. so that's exactly what he does, catching u off guard. you're kind of mistaken, chanhee doesn't want to eat u out - i mean, ofc he does, he loves going down on u everytime he has the chance, but that's not his main goal at the moment! he wants your undivided attention, so ofc he'll drag it out as much as possible.
he starts leaving kisses along your thighs, so slowly you feel like you're actually about to go insane, chanhee takes his time with you even when you're whining his name and asking him not to tease you, trying to grab his hair to pull him closer to you just for him to wrap his free hand around your wrist and pinning it to your side.
even when he gets to actually eating you out, hes such a tease abt it :(( giving kitten licks to your clit and poking your hole with his tongue until you're a shaking mess bc the stimulation is just not enough for anything! but it's only fair after u were so mean to chanhee n ignored him, no?
but dw! sooner or later he'll get tired of teasing, satisfied bc he thinks u got what you deserved, and he'll start to properly eating you out, so messy n sloppy as he fucks you with his tongue until you cum .
(me after writing like 11 paragraphs leading up to the smut n only 2 paragraphs of actual action)(do not question my vision im a writer im an artist im simply above all judgment /j)
#🍰 seongminiz !#🍞 tbz !#'i dont feel like writing' mfs when choi chanhee exists#the boyz hard hours#the boyz smut#chanhee smut#tbz smut#tbz hard hours
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By all accounts the lupin fandom has always prided itself as a drama free ship war free open to polyamory and wildly different headcanons fandom. And I can name a few people that have worked hard to keep this place very friendly. And I really started in this fandom in a friendly place. I even managed to make friends that Liked Luzeni maybe even just as much as me. I was ecstasic. I really loved those people so much, I talked to them daily. Some of them I respected so much for their craft. Great.
Id always been upfront and very clear that they were befriending someone who was fucked in the head. And i dont mean seasonal depression type I mean Bipolar and Bpd and all the symptoms it entails. Im not even going to mention the upbringing and the life ive had. All of it was a complete and violently abusive catastrophy.
Last year I exhibited symptoms that were intense. TOXIC. It didnt mean that I was toxic to my friend, because I was rational enough to know about boundaries. I was at the end of my rope. For undisclosed reasons I had to be interned. Great. During the ultimate time that lead me to become crazy, not a single person i thought was my friend gave me a hand. I received a message from one friend while I was litteraly perched on the windowsill about to jump telling me about their life. Not asking abt me. I sent some Hey thats cool but im about to kill myself and they didnt reply. Days after I was interned they told me that my message triggered them so they had to have an emergency meeting with their psychiatrist. Cool. Nothing abt me still. Sorry ? Fallout 1
During yhat whole shitstorm and despite everything a friend became my like. favorite person in bpd terms. Just really fucking embarassing shit really. I tried to prevent it, i tried to pull out not to make it worse, which not only was making it worse but was making it toxic. I aparently blew out, which of course my memory conveniently forgot. I said something ahout their partner. They never explained what. Again, after internment I apologized. They told me they needed time. They bsolutely deserved it. I was probably horrible to warrant that reaction. I might even have been toxic. Again, I do not remember what I even said. Im not a demonic entity it couldnt have been like I desacrated them and insulted them beyond repair. Even in my anger I have always been limited. But all i can do is speculate. They never explained, just took my apology. And then They never came back. That friend I liked so much that despite everything I did to control myself became a person i liked beyond wat was normal. We have had so much fun. Not enough to mend bridges or explained anything. Fallout 2
During that blow out one friend meddled, asking that other friend for information ? I asked to pass along a message to friend B. which friend A refused. Like it was not their business, even tho they were clearly invested in the business enough to talk to both of us about it lol. No problem. 4 days ago thou i confronted a group of friends that were friends As friend, for kicking them out of an rp group for no reason, even bordering on racism. My friend feels hurt about that event, has always hinted at it. it even stopped them from rping, something they did for 12 years. They had no closure and so I tried to bring it to them. Asshole move or empathic ? Thinking back i may have been taking the situation personnaly because i was already on my way out menrally. I dont know. All i know is that four days later, after i talked for hours to that group and the reason why they treated my friend so poorly that they still had scars over it, i was experiencing a mental crisis and that friend refused a request. Great. Fallout 3
The last friend litteraly stood by and said nothing. Not before the fallout and not after. I dont even know'if that counts as a fallout. This girl was so cute, so fun, so talented, so FUNNY. And when it came to a heed she said nothing. No side taking. Neutrality. Okay
At this point I no longer had anyone to talk to I think. I was documenting my attempt and the horrible conditions of the psych ward on twitter for everyone of my "friends" to see. One i particularly loved so much because they genuinely were on the same level of insanity related to luzeni made a tweet about the late hystix, a person i did not know but a lot of the lupin fandom did. A beautiful soul that was always supportive and kind. Everyone was mourning her. It was truly heartbreaking. I hope she is in peace. Our attempts matched in timing, it was actually mindblowing. Mine just fucking failed because of nosy neighbors. I feel so close to her in spirit still. That we both struggled so much that we came to the conclusion that nothing could save us. She did not have the nosy neighbors. That friend mourned her publicly.. on twitter. Ok. Logical, its a depressing, horrible and sad situation all around. All we can do is mourn. Still, it was a friend I was genuinely close to. That never showed the empathy they did to me. Hey dude so im kind of facing the exact same issues but you never reached out ? While my torment was there and documented on twitter because again. I did not fucking know wat was going on. I was in a strict mental ward under a lot of dosage from nurses who refused to give me insulin even thou i was type 1. Friend said that they tweeted at me. No mention of the years and years of discussions we had on discord and me checking up on them everytime they pulled out for severe family matters and i was genuinely concerned. Nope they aparently tweeted something at me. Okay. Thank you for the concern. Your investment really shows. Fallout 4
after that I stopped friends all together. The fact that friends I was talking nigh on everyday to each revealed their lack of concern for me during an extreme mental health crisis was abyssmal to say the least.
Fallout 5 came with Sheen. I was managing a charity zine for Palestine, and the lack of investment from so many artists brought me to the edge. I took it out on Sheen in the softest way possible. I told them I was disapointed in their piece and that it looked low effory. Sheen, a person I had knwon for the entirety of my investment in the lupin fandom, decided that an offense was enough to block me and never speak again. Once again i was on the verge of yet another blow out. And it happened. Lol. Its just so funny in retrospect that everytime I start acting weird alluding to a breakdown people shun me out despite, you know. me being clear abt my medical record. I realized that I was rude to Sheen and it was uncalled for. Apologized publicly not in the attempt that Sheen sees it but just so that everyone knows that if they hear abt the story, at least they know its all been my fault. Online friendships are so cool because it just takes the block button to burn bridges without coming back. With no chance of mending or at least a genuine apology. so Fallout 5
Is there a reason that all of these issues happened within one fandom ? I do think so. Unless i am incredibly unlucky. Or an abusive piece of shit unbeknownst to me. I think that the lupin fandom is surface level niceties. If they dont like you you will know. It will be passive but you will be muted and eventually just ostracized. You will not be invited in fandom events, or group discussions. It did not help that my mental health was constantly deteriorating and I started developping a persecution complex, thinking that people were making secret discords where they were telling others to avoid me or something. Ive endured all of this for one thing. One Humiliating thing : i love luzeni. I love it so much I want a tatto of it. I love it so much that after years before sleep I pick a random fic and then imagine their discussions. I love their dynamic so much. I love their romance I love how fucking inhinged they are i love that they hurt and love each other the same, i love that they cant live without the other, that they genuinely complete each other in a really ugly but complete patchwork of mental illness and really elaborate kinks.
I gave up thou. Another depression, I blew out, attempted again with the window, got caught and sent to the hospital. It pulled me back from the fandom. I realized i was allocating so much of my thoughts to it and how I could be better perceived, how I could make friends again to talk about the fictional thing i loved the most in the world. And I realized that in giving up and keeping to myself, that I could be more stable. That the damage was done and I cant really enjoy this fandom anymore, but Im still attached to the hip to luzeni and so in the words of a really brilliant man... Nah... Ill do my own thing.
U might be wondering why the hell is this bitch airing their laundry publicly. Its therapeutic. You dont have to read or care. If those friends see it, and make a comment of their own about how the events did NOT happen like I told, I would love to hear how they perceived it. I do not give my friendship freely and easily and these people have done profound damage to my abilty to trust. And most of all, I never had any closure. I kept rethinking, blaming them, then myself, then miscommunication, then them and then myself again. To this day I dont know why all of this happend. Did I act like an unfathomable monster, or did my friend simply not give a shit enough to help me through this. I dont fucking know and I cant deny either options. Maybe I am talking through a completely selfish wrapped sens of perception that is not to be trusted. I wouldnt be surprised. I have a very hard time relying on my own brain lately. My health is deteriorating very fast, and shit is getting worse.
The second reason is that I am going to be interned for psychiatric issues for the next 3 months. For the first time in my life I think Ill finally get all the professional support i need, available and close. Im not going to be investing any time in the fandom, if simply talking to the psychiatrist abt this catastrophic strings of fallouts. I might be posting some luzenis, but frankly i doubt it. I only make fanart when I am happy, or sad enough but still capable. Im neither right now. You are not entitled to any of these informations, but I just wanted to write them out of my mind because I have a LOT of baggage to go on through and this is an extra bag I dont need so im throwing it out.
You cannot gauge an entire fandom from your perspective, the same way you cannot gauge an entire userbase. No, tiktokers are not the worst people in humanity. Neither are reddit users. Being on tumblr is cool, but it doesnt make u better than being on twitter. And so this is only my opinion of the lupin fandom. I met some amazing persons that i wish the best for, for ever and ever, but in all the niceties and welcoming you might see, I dont think that extends to a person with mental illnesses that are villified, or out of their control. I can fairly say that my experience was disapointing, and I dont intend to rekindle anything. Ill just be on the fringe maintaining the spirit of luzeni alive because fuck you monkey punch these are my characters now by law.
If you read until this bro get a life. Also im joking, youv given me more consideration than most people i met have. If your take after this is that I am deranged, then youv read right.
Thank you for reading. This blog has always been a pleasure to post on, even my most cringe and embarassing shippy stuff. Ive been met with nothint but support, and I truly enjoy being here because of you. I hope this isnt a 3+ month long goodbye. I hope I draw my lovers again. But I cant guarantee anything. I wish you all health most of all, and love and compassion.
#evacuating emotional baggage through a long rant that you dont have to read#this post is for me and me alone really. i feel better after writing it. thou rverything is still catastrophic#there will be grace
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My (probably unfinished) official list of everything I love about the trailer💫
- "How's it going :))-" SWERVED. ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ GOT FUCKING S W E R V E D-
- Nora looks like she's going to stab Alex with her high heel. Also she's so pretty. Xjakcjd
- "you've done some pretty stupid things in your life, but this-" "Takes the cake? :DD-"
- The way Henry looks at them when they're lying on the floor covered in cake. It's like he's restraining himself from strangling Alex with his own suit jacket for the sole purpose of not worsening the scandal.
- "HENRY. SHOVED. ME.😡🥺" "An urge I currently share."
- Ellen in her pantsuit.. hey Ellen👉👈
- Alex is looking for ways to escape the room when she says the words "damage control" he fucking knows-
- THEY. GOT. LIL NAS X. ON THE FUCKING SOUND TRACK. Oh I p r a y they got the rights to Get Low I p r a y.
- ALEX'S FACE WHILE ZAHRA IS BRIEFING HIM HES SO DRAMATIC
- Im sorry guys henry is so fine alexander isnt going to be the only one thirsting over henry for the entire 2 hours/jjj
- That FUCKING handshake in the park. I can see the veins in their hands they are g r i p p i n g-
- these faces this is a point.
- "My NDA is bigger than yours, I want you to know that." "You're wearing Lifts. I know that too, sweetheart." -H e a d t u r n--- HES SO FLOORED FJSNF-
- HENRY'S LITTLE MOUTH QUIRK AFTER HE SAYS THAT
- I CAN SEE THE KEY NECKLACE. I CAN S E E IT BLESS THE COSTUME DEPARTMENT SHOVING HIM IN A LOWCUT SHIRT-
- "You better act like the sun shines out of his ass and you have a vitamin D deficiency" ZAHRA HAS THE BEST LINES AND ITS WHAT SHE DESERVES.
- Alex faffing about with his hair via his phone camera before the interview thats my b O Y-
- Henry slides over the box of cornettos so hard like thats the only hostile act hes allowed to parttake in
- To the person who theorized in the comments of one of my posts that Alex was going to do a little shoulder punch in the interview scene i am going to draw you a little firstprince fanart-/hj
- Because that was so funny and so fucking cute henrys fucking face through that whole interaction was just. He looks like he's actively trying to dissociate from the situation fjsjfj-
- The cancer ward🥺🥺
- Alex's u g l y ass suit at the new years gala... its such a gross jacket guys Im sorry this is what happens when you dont have jUNE TO MICROMANAGE HIS WARDROBE-
- Alex putting his arm around Henry and Henry smiling to himself because he's probably got the most insane case of butterflies
- I'm marrying the lighting director of this movie.
- GUYS GUYS SHUT UP ITS THE KISS.
- HENRY'S FACE BEFORE HE GIVES THE "Christ, you are as thick as it gets" LINE IS SO FUNNY. QUESTIONING WHY HE EVER WENT AND FELL IN LOVE WITH A DUMBASS
- THEY D O N T KISS LIKE THEYD RATHER GO DOWN A RAZOR WATERSLIDE🎉🎉🎉🎉💫💞💞🏳️🌈/GEN
- He does Henry's "Oh shit" face so w e l l-
- ALEX'S STETSON EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM ME
- KARAOKE SCENE KARAOKE SCENE I SEE HENRY AT THE MICROPHONE
- Guys hes g o i n g to do the thing he does with the bottle I just know it oh my god
- "Get O V E R yourself your majesty -p i l l o w-" "It's your royal HIGHNESS -p i l l o w-" "OHoho-"
- The polo match sjsjf. Same alwx-/J
- The little new voters goal thingy poster thats so cute actually-
- The pride flag in the back of the campaign office
- Henry texting while he's getting the royal preening sjcj
- never thought id cry just hearing henry say he misses alex out loud-
- THEYRE NOT SANITIZING IT TO MAKE IT PALATABLE/POS
- HENRY IN THE CLOSET I AM GOING TO SCREAM-
- "If anyone sees you leave this hotel I will brexit your head from your body....... Your royal highness." I LOVE HERRRRRR
- IF YOU FEEL FOREVER ABOUT HIM. AND THE AND THE PANNING TO THEM IN BED WITH THE SOFT LAMP LIGHT. AND THEYRE SO SOFT. AND AND AND AND. UEUE
- "Do you love him?" "What difference would it make if I did?"
- Bea's voice is so pretty sobs..
- It's always the blond autistic boys in the blue hoodies I swear to god/lh
- Theyre just chilling in their robes🥺🥺🥺
- DAVID!!!!!!!😭😭😭💞
- "Prince Henry belongs to Britain" and what if i sobbed.
- THEM HOLDING HANDS SOMEBODY SEDATE ME.
- NO SHUT UP NO GO AWAY HENRY CRYING... I TRUST HIM WITH HENRY'S HEAVIER SCENES NOW
- THEYRE AT THE LAKEHOUSE😭😭😭
- "It's like there's a rope attached to my chest and it keeps pulling me towards you"
- THE ASS GRAB. ALEXANDER GABRIEL CLAREMONT-DIAZ
- "The night is young, ma✨" <- said as if he isn't currently groping the prince of England's ass
- She sees right fucking through him sjcjsj
CONCLUSION: I will eat my hat. The movie looks really really really fucking good, it looks spectacular and I am so excited for it. I trust them. I'm only SLIGHTLY mad they barely had Nora in it and I'm only SLIGHTLY bitter at cutting June and Luna. But I am an optimist and I will focus on the good which is that they're doing the characters incredible justice, and if I see one person try to deny their chemistry I will A Clockwork Orange their ass to this trailer for days. Because That Is Alex and Henry. That's them in front of my eyes and I think they're in very good hands and this is the most coherent thing I can write I'm still crying-/srs
#rwrb#red white and royal blue#red white and royal blue movie#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#red white and royal blue trailer#rwrb trailer#🇬🇧🇺🇸 rwrb posting
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