#im just trying to process this in my own way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prettyboykatsuki · 21 hours

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how do you reconcile with writing smut about characters who are canonically minors? i’m not trying to attack you or try to change your mind or anything, so sorry if my question reads that way. i’m just genuinely curious 😭

no worries!! this is asked respectfully so i dont mind answering even tho i usually just delete stuff abt this now

idk really know how to answer your question i have not reiterated many times. but like. i want you to really consider your own way of asking this to me critically. like what would i have to "reconcile" with exactly? them being minors in canon?

for me personally there's nothing to reconcile with. i feel no guilt or shame or remorse about aging up characters. or just like wanting to fuck them. or really anything i write in fiction at all, point blank - should i choose to explore it. like there's not crime i've committed other than being horny about some shit i made up, upon the basis some shit another guy made up.

partially this is bc characters in fictions are concepts. they're objects, thoughts, ideas. no matter how brainrotted i am about them, they don't live in material reality. im not harming them because they don't exist. outside of my phone and computer they are not real. harrowing myself with guilt over something that does not even exist is kind of insane. this applies to everything.

you can feel personal discomfort over aging up for yourself, but the reality is no actual minors are harmed in the process of me writing porn about anime characters. bakugou is lines on paper. i am allowed to cut him out like a barbie doll and play with him however i like. he doesn't get a say in that because he is fake lol.

there's like idk. all sorts of nuance to this and if you are respectfully curious im happy to talk to you about it. but they're just not real. no one is hurt in me writing this. so it doesn't matter to me at all. i would never hurt another person because of what im interested in fictionally, either. i have spent too many years becoming a decent human being to wonder about that

nothing i do in the fictional space is of any relevance to who i am, except for what things might cause genuine harm to another living breathing person. i write a lot of dark content in my smut also but

a lot of my content also while being dark, does not specifically deal with sensitive social issues so no one is hurt in that way either. i have enough confidence in my critical understanding of the world to write what i do understand to my ability. i mostly write about noncon and dubcon and yandere, all of which are personal violations and not social ones (OVERSIMPLIFYING THERE A LOT). i sometimes do write about social taboos of course but not whats outside of my ability

all in all its like. i dont know what i'd feel guilty over. no one is hurt and i have no intent to harm. nothing matters outside of that

#return to sender

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tradingjack · 16 days

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There's no turning back.

... Is there anyone who'll be able to survive what lies ahead?

#millions knives #trimax #trigun spoilers #knives sure as fuck didn't lmao #ending my sick drawing saga with this one <3 i feel better now thx #yeah i'll give knives the piano piece. fuck you #i do love drawing knives beautiful. i loved doing the detailing on this one tbh it was a ton of fun #now i am less confident in the background but. what can you do :3 what i get for trying not to use red ig #it's so interesting that quote is from elendira too. she really just wanted to watch the world burn. get it girl <3 #manga #illustration #artists on tumblr #drawing #my art #comic #fanart #trigun #i've been drawing too much knives for someone who likes other characters way better lmao. listen. im still processing the uhh #my own sibling trauma ok #drawing diablo vash is therapeutic in a similar way tbh lmfao

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puppyeared · 2 months

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MAN your art, but especially the latest pieces of Walking Fire Friend and Sparkle Dog really have the vibes of like, sanrio?? I want stickers and half a dozen accessories with them plastered all over so bad

!!! thank u for the kind words!! im playing around with the halftone effect, i like how it makes it look like a newspaper comic ^_^

#i also wanna design stickers so sososo bad.. id love to make some skip to loafer stickers with the main four <3 #i dont reallyknow much abt the process itself though.. and i dont have a paypal or any way to send or receive money in the first place orz #im sure ill do it once i figure it out but i appreciate the sentiment!!!#its been my dream to make my own custom motivational stickers with little dogs.. like the ones i used to get in grade school lol #im not sure if ill keep going in this direction with my art bc its all experimental but its been really fun playing around with it #its bothered me for the longest time that im just ass at rendering or putting detail in my art. but at the end of the day i just dont #care enough to go thru with it and i prefer to keep things simple anyway so that reflects my own tastes ig...#this is probably the closest ill get to a soft render that i like to see so if i could do more for that ill definitely try...!!!!#yapping #ask #answered #doodles #sona #puppysona

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caffeinatedopossum · 2 months

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A poor man's guide to fucking up

Fucking up is inevitable 👍 yet not many people are aware of how to respond (ideally) in a scenario where they've genuinely made a mistake. Recently my girlfriends (ex girlfriends?) fucked up and hurt me but they get an A for how they're responding so I wanted to go over a list of what they've done right and what they haven't, for your reference and mine

1) they're giving me space to process my feelings- room to be angry and understanding but also physical space. They aren't spam texting me or constantly walking into my room or trying to force me to talk to/spend time with them

2) with that, there's also an acceptance of their responsibility and they're taking the blame with dignity- something that I know from experience hurts like a BITCH and is not something most people I've known are capable of or willing to do. I have mad respect for that

3) they're not trying to force me to do or feel anything I don't want to. They're not trying to manipulate me- not trying to turn me against anyone, force me to forgive them, or ignore what they did. They're not trying to force me to stay in a relationship with them or not be mad at them or hurt by their actions

4) and this is where they lose out on getting an A+ and only get an A -_- they told me the truth (just not at first). Despite being ashamed of it. And at first they did both try to minimize their own blame in the situation but pretty quickly opened up about the reality of it. Now ideally you wouldn't do that at all, you would just tell the whole truth right away but nonetheless, it's impossible to be perfect and I'm not judging them too harshly for this

#obviously im still mad and i cant say ive forgiven them yet but ive accepted their apologies and im trying to let time heal #i wanted to at least share somewhere my appreciation for them reacting this way since ive never experienced such humility and maturity #from people who have hurt me before #even if it 'should' be normal its not yet. so yeah i have a bit of gratitude towards them for doing something not yet common #i can say with certainty it is SO much easier on me to handle this situation and my own emotions because of them doing this #i think my putting effort into recognizing and appreciating this also has to do with how i experience empathy-#im not gonna be one of those 'im an eMpAtH' people but i will just say #other peoples emotions affect me severely and i cannot ignore them or block them out #its like... intrusive empathy if you will #redirecting my empathy to analyzing something helps me process my own feelings without the interference of everyone else's feelings

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yuwuta · 2 months

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i just read the test drive fic with yuuta and i screamed when there was just hashtags after his text 😭😭 loved it so much istg, I'm praying you get the chance to work on a pt2 soon but no rush, I'm enjoying your other posts, I'm so excited for the valentine's one!!! 💗💗

there will be more to the story, i just can't promise when i'll post it because i'm still figuring out how to frame it? i've tried writing the mirrored conversation w/ yuuta telling megumi, toge, and gojo about your marriage, but it doesn't feel right LOL so i'm shifting gears to more about reader and yuuta potentially navigating their divorce? which is really about me figuring out how yuuta wants to tell you that he wants to stay married 😭😭

#im trying to....#how do i say this #whenever i write yuuta it's always so much internal dialogue/thought and i have this (subconscious?) tendency to give him like...#yandere i guess is the overarching word LOL tendencies but not to his knowledge?#like he... when i write him i dont write him as thinking he's possessive but still somehow knowing that he's Too Much #none of that makes sense.... but this is all to say that writing dialogue for him is hard but writing paragraphs about his thought process #is way easier bc hes easier to word dump and then refine vs when i write dialogue its personality based and i guess what im saying is #even tho im giving him his thoughts i have a hard time putting them into his own words?#ANNIEWAYS the point is. he's easy to write hard to communicate with in my own writing......#whatever that means LMFAO #so in conclusion: i like writing yuutas pov but i struggle with his interpersonal interactions #also i am like... incapable of writing him in a large group/with more than two characters around.... in all my drafts he has lik #one conversation at one time #i just i just... process him very intimately? can u tell i love him........#i also write satoru the same way........#but megumi and yuuji are the opposite?#this is getting long... i just love yuuta LOL

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vvyrmwood · 5 months

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i haven’t felt good about my writing or characters or art in a long time and like. I know why exactly there’s just nothing to rly be done abt it it feels like

#years of abuse and toxicity have left me with basically no opinion of myself either way #kinda just numb and :| abt my own work sometimes.#most of my art and creative process is just for me now a days but.#sometimes i mourn the days i felt i could share those things/they were worthy to be shared #there’s still a lot of things i have i would like to share.#but most of the time it feels very pointless to try anymore #most of the time i am very transparent. i am here but everything goes through me and sees past me #i promise i’m still trying and having a nice time making art it’s just #the sharing it and community of it ive felt like. im not worthy enough to be part of lol

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pepprs · 1 year

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#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running #away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made #basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not #doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start.#purrs #i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any #sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY #part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move #out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older #but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings.#forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only #made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to #move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest.#i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use #my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a #atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i #did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging #fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy #home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it?#delete later #i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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#god. ok. so i should really b reading papers rn but my lab mate called me needy today and it just keeps cycling in my head #like ive spent way too much time around him bc of field work and the thing abt me is that i just say whatever tf is in my brain so hes #basically been exposed to a scattershot of anxious thoughts in my head idk wtf he must think of me but today he said #the more i learn abt u the more i realize ur needy in these v specific ways #and i think it bothers me a lot bc needy isnt the right word. im not needy. i dont plead for help. im just a semi non functional person.#i just lay here not dealing with all these problems i have. but i generally try just make it my own problem. im just a bit pathetic like #that. do i need help? maybe but im not like needy. im just semi nonfunctional and rather compulsive and controling over myself. i live in a #world full of invisible walls as dictated by my stupid brain. but its all internal control i can put up with a lot as long as i have ctrl #over myself. its not especially healthy but it makes me pretty easy going i suppose. ugh! needy! he obviously hit a nerve how annoying #whatever im exhausted bc i had to b a scribe all day and i had a phd meeting this morning. the project sounds v cool and apparently im the #most qualified person to approach them so far but idk itll be v competitive and do i really want a uk phd? idk idk #at least this guy conducted it like an actual interview. i was like fuck finally some structure! and he said i talk well lol thanks dude #so he thinks id do ok getting grilled by a pannel. idk i kinda wanna apply just to see how far id get into the process #unrelated #i was also having harrowing nightmares last night abt climbing mt everest. at least i got 8hrs sleep lol fml i leave for sampling again #tomorrow afternoon. this is what i get for trying to have even a tiny bit of a social life rip

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orcelito · 1 year

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ok currently inspecting July Events to figure out wtf happened to Vash's coat

so we see him at the start of July in this:

which upon inspection IS different from his coat at the start of the series:

which makes this shot immediately post-july make some sense:

he's got the same belts pants, so clearly not ALL of his outfit got blown off, but it seems like his prior coat didn't survive the explosion. so at some point, he'd have to contact the floating ship again to get another coat made (these ppl really are working overtime keeping up with his coat and prosthetic demolishing lmaooo) WHICH on the topic of his prosthetic, it seems like it DID survive the July explosion, which is interesting!

smth im wondering about. In dialog, we hear from Brad that he met Vash when he was 4 years old, but hasn't seen him in the 13 years since (this being after the 2 years post-jeneora). at that time, it's 8 years post-july (since july happens 6 years before the start of the series, and then add the 2 years time skip post-jeneora), which sets the events of July THEORETICALLY to happen 5 years after his last visit to the flying ship.

so, how did he get his new coat if he hasn't been back to the flying ship in 13 years? Well, i assume he has some way to contact them from afar, considering he manages to get Sensei to bring him a new coat post-jeneora in some random town (& Sensei now brings Brad, who is 17, but would've only been 9 the last time).

this brings the question: how does he contact them? some kind of communication device? i remember his earring's a radio, but i dont remember him having any specific way to contact them directly. so maybe it's just not shown? i cant imagine he'd be able to send letters, all things considered, so it's probably some kind of radio transmission. the technology Does exist, & they almost definitely would pin a special radio on this disaster-prone asshole so he could still keep contact during the long years he's away from home.

the more you know 🤔