#im begging you all stop with all the fics and art where he's a literal kraken its gross when his story is so wildly tragic
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A Biracial Reading of BlackBeard
It came to my shock-a lot of white fans of OFMD seem to have not caught up on the fact we're explicitly shown Edward Teach is a man of color from biracial origins in Our Flag Means Death. And that identity, goes so much into how his character is written and reacts to situations. I would argue Episode 4 and 5 are extremely deliberate in their showcasing of how his identity has informed his choices and the way he behaves around others. I want to highlight just a few moments, that stood out to me as a someone who is also biracial and light skinned-that I don't think some people have picked up have a deeper meaning.
From the get-go we're introduced to two sides of Blackbeard. Either as 'the terror of the seas' or an extremely clever-but at times irritatingly eccentric man. There's an element of duality, multiple faces, and most aptly code-switching to him the moment he is introduced. This post really wonderfully goes into all the elements of performance and multiple identities Ed seems to juggle. Code switching is something many POC learn though-which is learning to behave one way with white people-and another with people of your own race-or other races, and so on.
We see from flashbacks Ed is biracial, with a white Father and Maori mother (the same biracial make up with genders swapped, of Taika himself). The framing of this shot above is so significant. He and his mother cowering from his white Father (patriarchy, colonialism against indigenous peoples like himself and his mother), and Ed is positioned slightly closer to his mother in the middle of them-another demonstration he is closer to his indigenous/POC side than his white side.
It's wildly significant the first murder he has to commit is his Father, very much showing that attempt to resist colonialism-as an institution and the side of him descended from it. And it leads to those fracturing identities.
Being biracial puts one in a position-you are not as excluded as darker skinned people of color who have very limited access to white spaces in this time period-but nor are you ever seen as belonging in those white spaces either. We know he grew up in proximity to whiteness hence having access to even see things like the red silk in the first place-but he never felt allowed to be part of it. It puts Edward in a place where he is both an outsider with other POC and in white spaces. So how do you cope with that? Do you soften yourself as much as possible to be non-threatening enough to pass in a white space? Or do you lean into white perceptions of your 'otherness' and play it so you can't be further mocked or excluded-you are choosing your own isolation and denying them the chance to do it to you. Hence Edward's need to make himself a larger than life fearful 'monster like' figure like the Kraken. However it’s the fact he is light skinned-that privilege that has probably lended himself to be able to become as successful he is-capable of earning respect from white pirates (Calico Jack, Izzy) and those of color (Ivan, Fang, and many on his crew).
Which doesn't mean he enjoys that image at all. Becoming "The Kraken" began as an attempt to fight off white violence and has continued so long into life. Especially where we meet Edward in the series-he's grown weary of being so stereotyped as the 'beastly POC'.
When Edwards' shown this image-he gets especially upset. It's worth noting he's referred to as a "Devil" in the image too. And while yes it is a scene of him exhausted of the weight of reputation of "Blackbeard" it's also an image of a man of color being shown a racial stereotype of himself.
The fact he calls himself a 'vampire clown' and is frustrated at the amount of guns he's shown to carry-he's showing outrage over how he is stereotyped as an othered monstrous and hyper-violent caricature- something men of color are often forced to deal with. The fact he is a man of color-is probably what has allowed his reputation to become so fearsome. White people will automatically assume he is more violent because he is brown. All the more significant his bathtub confession that he personally dislikes the act of murder-and rarely personally ends a person's life. It's only because of this racial stereotype that rumor has been able to grow so large that he is killed HUNDREDs like Black Pete says in episode 2.
It makes all the more sense in the next episode he is very anxious for an attempt to join a white upper-class party. Especially after being called a "donkey" when attempting to learn about dinner party etiquette. Another example of white people excluding him due to his mixed race status.
The fact he is mixed is part of the reason he's even able to get into the room with the rich aristocrats rather than be confined to the servant's quarters-or immediately othered like Frenchie and Olu are ('you're so much better than my african servant!')
However it's extremely significant he only becomes popular and gains the attention of the white aristocrats (and he is the only person of color in the entire party) when he makes a joke about violence. From the get-go they're laughing and amused because he is again (Not realizing it this time) playing into their stereotype of him. A violent man of color-but presenting it in playful manner they feel un-threatened, much like white people watching minstrelsy shows in the 1800s-but still being so afraid of black men they had numerous laws to keep them separate.
And immediately, when Edward catches on they're not amused by him as a person-but by the caricature they see of him he's humiliated and leaves the party. It's an example of a lesson he learned long ago. He has to be either extremely non-threatening-a joker-if he wants to be tolerated in a white space, or he can be extremely threatening, play into their stereotype-and use their fear to avoid being further hurt. We see a touch of that in episode 4 when he dodges Izzy’s questions by being especially eccentric and difficult to read-making jokes and random statements than give sincere straightforward answers that can be mocked. It’s very deliberate he takes out his knife when answering Izzy’s threat/demand he needs to make choice-it’s a refusal to be openly intimate-and a reminder not to tread too closely.
Edward's not stupid/or socially inept for not realizing he was being mocked from the start-he had really believed Stede's lessons and clothes had given him practice to blend into a white space. So the first thing he does when realizing he's being mocked is code switch back into violence-pull out his pistol. Stede talks him down-but it only works because he knows he's outnumbered in this scene. If he showcases any violence or anger as a man of color he would be jumped upon immediately and thrown in that ships holding cell.
It's all the more significant Stede is a white man too-when he leaves Edward in the end of episode 9. It's not just a break up, it's an example of Ed once again feeling not good enough-and excluded from the society Stede chose to return to. Part of the reason Ed fell in love with Stede is Stede was willing to see Ed as a whole person-he admired his anger AND sensitivity-and as a person who has also been an outsider due to his very overt queerness-Stede can form a kinship with Ed due to their mutual ostracizes from society.
While there's been multiple good readings about Izzy pining for Ed, and Izzy's frustration against Stede being driven because he is a rich person invading a working class space-as this post pointed out, Izzy is still a white man asking Ed to behave as that hyper-violent caricature that has been carved out for him. That is where he sees Edward's worth. The fact Izzy immediately begins mocking him for missing Stede-it reminds Ed so clearly, he can not drop his act around white people. Or he will be harassed, mocked, and threatened.
Edward has to become the Kraken to survive in his mind. Hence why he uses a caricature image of himself as inspiration. To survive heartbreak, to survive the white people who would rip him apart if he isn’t threatening, to maintain control of his life. There’s a reason he has to kill Lucius-who he revealed too much of his heart to, vulnerability is not an option for him. When you’re biracial-the closer you are to whiteness, the more acutely you will be held up for failing at it. It is much easier for him to be guarded, threatening, and give into the perception of him-rather than have his heart broken over and over-told how he is not good enough-too sensitive,
Which is why this Kraken image-Blackbeard-it’s all a tragedy. Edward knows-as much as being Blackbeard makes him safe-it makes him painfully lonely. And it’s an identity he has only fallen into because it was assigned to him-and because he feels convinced at the end of this season there is no space for him, as a queer man of color to have life full of love, softness, and emotional availability.
I certainly hope this reading is enlightening for folks who never read Edward or the show this way! I think it may cause people to rethink how they characterize Edward in their own writings or artwork, since the amount of people who seem to love leaning into an element of making him monstrous, well that’s exactly why he is suffering in the show. He doesn’t think a man of his identities has any other choice.
#our flag means death#ofmd#blackbeard#edward teach#ed teach#ofmd meta#poc of ofmd#im begging you all stop with all the fics and art where he's a literal kraken its gross when his story is so wildly tragic#my writing
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Sorry this is gonna be a bit of a rant since it’s something I’ve had strong feelings about since joining the AG/TASM fanfic part of the internet, and you’ve provided me a great opportunity to talk about it.
As a trans person, I am BEGGING fanfic writers to stop writing Marauders stuff. I’ve seen so many people defend it with “separate art from the artist” but like it or not they are still supporting JKR. Separating art from the artist only really works when the artist can’t profit from it. She has done SO MUCH harm to trans people and particularly trans youth in the UK and it’s so fucking disheartening and gives me such an ick when I see TASM writers also write for Marauders because it truly comes across as “I love and support the trans community except when it comes to this because I like it.”.
Even if you ignore the transphobia and holocaust denial (YES IM SERIOUS, she’s denied parts of the holocaust at LEAST twice and she literally did it a second time the other day), the original writing is so fucking problematic. Things just off the top of my head being;
The goblins being stereotypes of Jewish people
The fucking racism with characters like Cho Chang and Kingsley Shacklebolt
The last Fantastic Beasts movie’s plot literally being trying to make WW2 and the holocaust happen
This point needs to be taken with a grain of salt since this was some bullshit Joanne said after the books came out, but werewolves in the universe being meant to represent people with aids. Which is so fucking awful considering one of the two werewolves was attacked by the other as a CHILD
The most ironic part of this is that if Andrew is truly the person he presents himself as, he would probably fucking despise being associated with HP, even if it is just a fancast. But yeah all this to say fuck JKR, fuck Marauders fans but also thank you so much Katie for that last anon answer because I genuinely don’t see that enough in this corner of the internet.
Even Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter himself, has spoken out against her and continues to loudly support the LGBTQ+ communities. When your own beloved Harry doesn't even want to stand by your side, you should know you fucked up. Sadly, she does not, and instead leans harder into her bigotry and hatred.
I've always been someone who is very loud and opinionated when I see things that I disagree with, which I know can rub some people the wrong way, but fuck it. I don't like to whisper about my issues on the sidelines, I like to confront the problem head on by being very clear about where I stand and how I feel. I'm not gonna sit around and let someone align me with JKR just because I'm writing a stupid werewolf and Peter Parker fic that exactly 5 people are reading lol. It's not even a popular fic like get out of my asks jfc. Esp when I can tell this person has not read a single sentence of my story and is completely basing their judgements on my header image of AG's face next to a wolf gif.
In this past week I have seen both a Steven Harrington werewolf au and a Daredevil werewolf au cross my dash. Do we think they're getting called out for supporting HP?? No. Because their actors weren't "fan casted" as something years ago. Fan casts don't even mean anything! There was never a movie about them. AG was never casted or played this role. It's literally nothing but a bunch of fans agreeing that they like his look for a fictional character.
Anyway, I'm also ranting back at you haha. You can rant to me anytime. I love a good rant and I agree with you 100%.
Werewolves were not created by JKR. Andrew Garfield has nothing to do with Harry Potter. Don't make make snap judgments about a person's character based on a picture you saw. Support your trans community. Don't be dick.
And, if they actually read my werewolf au, they would see that it's literally about learning to overcome your own hatred and biases of people different from you and learning to love those you were taught to hate. Crazy concept, I know! 🙄😉
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writing my MetalChaos fic has given me a deeper appreciation of the art of the Sonic adventure games.
I'll be diving into it in my fic for sure- but there's a genuineness in the way Shadow and Chaos are so similar yet so incredibly tragic. (This applies to Maria and Tikal too)
Like everyone loves diving into Shadow's lore and traumas and stuff- but have we ever stopped to consider that Chaos might actually have that as well?
We have these two incredibly kind and loving people- who simply want peace (Tikal) and protectcs the vunerable and weak (Chaos). They just want happiness, peace and safety.
Then, imagine your own FATHER (yikes parental issues!) decides that the best way for peace is actual war. and this girl.. is incredibly brave, and heroic.
She stands up to her father multiple times- requests and talks to the literal master emerald and manages to get its assistance- She continues to protect the chao and the master emerald in front of her father's soliders(?) She does everything she can think of to save people-
and in the end she and the group of chao get smacked down by these guys.
The last we see then is where the world is coated in RED. They're in the middle of an actual WAR! you can hear her desperation and worry with how much she's begging- and rushing- and trying her hardest.
and MAN is it tragic. To see her hit the floor with the COMPLETE BETRAYAL due to her OWN FATHERS greed.
and then we sit there and watch CHAOS- the peaceful. the docile. the PROTECTOR, the kind and gentle being who protects the weak and vulnerable. On top of the altar (that man is OUT of the water. War is waging and he is NOT happy) only to see his freinds and the chao he had sworn to protect on the floor- with an army of soilders charging towards the master emerald-
and the last thing he hears before sending them all away to god-knows-where? "ah! a monster!"
What. the. actual. fuck.
you spend your life just caring for others and protecting those in need. These innocent cute looking creatures and you their #1 caretaker. You are in the middle of a war and out of your comfort zone (pond) and are faced with the troubling situation of having possibly thousands of those cute adorable creatures- and innocent people getting attacked, hurt, killed, and all because of some greedy ass bastards. Then the last thing you see- is a charging army, and those exact chao on the ground AND your freind. Your too late. you couldn't protect them. to do the one thing you were supposed to do. Then your attacked by those same exact soilders..
and then some fucker has the audacity to call YOU the monster???
then you get put in the master emerald or something for like hundreds of years- not 50 years (im looking at you shadow) BUT SINCE ANCIENT TIMES-
like I would be PISSED. I would be incredibly also SAD. This guy held a MAJOR grudge- for THOUSANDS OF YEARS- OF COURSE HE'S ANGRY OF COURSE HES GRIEVING. This guy was freed by eggman- and you know the FIRST CUTSCENE we see of this guy- Is him getting attacked by the goddamn POLICE (cause GUN didnt exist yeah- he even jumps down from a rooftop all dramatic too)
like has anyone ever thought to consider that chaos might have.. feelings? that y'know maybe the guy was grieving? that maybe he (like shadow) took it out of some random city because the first thing he was faced with was aggression?
Somebody made a prophecy of him fighting sonic- and somebody started calling him the "god of destruction" when like.. his entire self is the complete opposite of that. Who thought he would be okay with having his own legacy be at a time he was grieving? Who called him that at a time where that battle hasn't even happened yet.
(this is like if you, a historical being, came back to life- and the historians only know about the times you were having a mid-life crisis (or worse.) like just imagine that. This is blobfish-name levels of wtf. Put that man back underwater!! Stop naming things based on a creatures worst-moments of their life. I feel bad for blobfish.)
He was angry, he was sad, he was grieving. He's noted as being a kind and gentle soul- do you think a kind and gentle soul would immediately decided to trash an entire city? no! That guy was going through something. of course he was he still in WAR mode- and that was only furthered by being constantly ATTACKED.
Tikal said "were these the chao you were trying to protect?" and like that just hits it home that Chaos is just... going through some shit and sometimes when your really powerful- you going through shit means everybody else got too.
but yknow he's not as popular so who am I going to vent this too??? Who can I go "hey SA1&Sa2 are very paralleled and have a lot of similarities and one of those happens to be that maybe- just maybe Chaos (and Tikal) might actually be a bit traumatized. Yet he has no way of communicating that other than destruction."
also Tikal is very much a hero and should be assigned as such because this girl is incredible. She deserves lots of love for her efforts. Girl sacrificed so much to bring peace and like... she didn't deserve to have such a shitty parent.
#uhhhhh#idk what to tag this anymore#chaos (sonic)#sonic chaos#SA1#tikal the echidna#sonic adventure 1#uhhh yeah character analysis.
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Feels Like We Only Go Backwards - Chapter 16:
by @oldpotatoe on AO3
"Hina claps with awe at the eruption of flames from Zuko’ skin. It is yellow, yes, orange too, but there is purple in the fire, and green, and red, blue, white, pink and more, all dazzling and brilliant as they burst from Zuko’s palms.
“Cool!” she yells, but Sokka hears her as if from a distance, finds his heart catching somewhere between his throat and mouth at the sight of Zuko’s shy smile, the rainbow reflected in his eyes. The light flickers over both their faces, vibrant and ethereal.
...
Sokka turns on his heels slowly, awestruck at the colourful warmth surrounding them. Zuko’s taken care to keep the flames a safe distance away, but Sokka can still feel the gentle heat of the fire flowing around him. It sinks into his skin, pushes all the way through to some unknown, untouched part of him that resides deep within his chest, making it unfurl until its blossoms peek out like the first buds of spring. And when he comes to a stop right back where he started—staring at Zuko’s cupped hands, his upturned mouth, his hair shimmering a thousand different shades, the way he looks up at Sokka just then with his unscarred eye squinting at its corner, bright and effusive and striking— the blossoms spread wide in his chest, trailing up and down and throughout him, catching at his seams. Coming alive.
And he thinks, oh.
And he thinks, oh shit."
Note: This art has a very specific song to go with it!
“We’re not equal parts / light and dark / we can be brilliant”
I literally had this song on repeat most of the time that I was drawing this and this particular lyric just hoofs u in the chest as you look at Zuko SOFT AS ANYTHING bending dragon fire so pls, feel free to play it while you peruse the art.
There’s been a lot of really amazing but oh my GOD PAINFUL art from the flwogb fandom recently so in these trying times may I offer this happier piece to remind you of the magic moment Sokka fell for Zuko for the second time in 5 years. I title it “Oh Shit”.
I'm such a sucker for a character realising they're in love with the italicised "oh shit" I go FERAL for that every single time and ms oldpotatoe fucking DELIVERED on that (even though she delivered an emotional sucker punch almost immediately after thank u ma’am). This moment just made my breath hitch as I read it and I was thinking “of course, of course they just make their way back to each other. of course they do”. It was such a gorgeous moment I had to put my phone down for a moment and BREATHE.
something that really inspires me to create from Ruby’s fic is the perfect clarity of the writing - I can SEE these gorgeous moments she writes as already made paintings in my head and I gotta DRAW. This one was clear as day, so I’ve spent so long trying to achieve what I saw in my head and I think I’ve come pretty close.
Not gonna lie I drew his expression and immediately got emotional about my OWN GODDAMN ART, (but I have been assured that this is completely normal).
Now I can’t post this without talking about the goddamn hair. I wrestled with his hair on this for MONTHS - I always thought that I'd struggle with hands, or even anatomy and proportions but NO. Hair seems to be my drawing nemesis and makes me wanna snap my tablet in half but nonetheless i have persevered (but for the love of all that is holy please zoom in I beg u I spent too long on the little details).
In terms of the shading and colour, the hair is very much An Experiment and I haven’t played with hair and light much before, but i was so intent on capturing the colours of the fire reflected in Zuko’s hair, i wanted it to be so ethereal. ethereal enough to just make Sokka fall headfirst down the stairs, two at a time, in love. So I gave it a go. It’s possibly too shiny and not quite how real hair would behave, and i’m probably gonna go away after posting and keep fiddling with it, but you know what I think it’s pretty, and im gonna challenge my perfectionist self to just... leave it be.
Ruby, I love u and I offer u this humble art as a small bribe to treat my boys well in the coming chapters (please, we don’t always have to go backwards do we?). <3 <3
#flwogb#oldpotatoe#feels like we only go backwards#zukka nation#come get yall juice#zukka#zukka fic#zukka art#zuko#atla art#avatar; the last airbender#firelord zuko#zuko art#atla#prince zuko#zuko x sokka#mine#my art#dragon fire#firebending#zuko firebending#rainbow fire
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I literally woke up, checked tumblr and was like oh shit...that cliffhanger was terrible and I need to know what happens next!
Anonymous said to redorich:
Ther Hermitcraft vs Dreamsmp war really is just gonna be a 2 hour long Dreamsmp cringe moment compilation huh. Also I like what you wrote! That fight fic was EPIC, but I do wonder why tf does Dream want Tommy back rn? I guess to solidify his status? Like, look at me I’m the righteous son! I’ve saved this infant child!
Anonymous said to redorich:
how could you end in a cliffhanger my day is ruined- /j /lh (but in all seriousness, HOLY SHIT DUDE IM SO HYPED UP FOR THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA - Art Anon (the one who asked if you liked art of your work and such :>)
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The dreamon whispers in his mind. He can’t tell which thoughts are his own. His fingers twitch on the handle of his axe, whether he’s faced with friend or foe. Dream wants to be this insidious person he’s become. He can’t remember why he was ever kind.
Tommy, that obnoxious prick. He’s the only one that ever consistently said no to Dream. It infuriates him. He loves it. He wants that again, for someone to tell him no, you’re wrong, you’re being a dick. The dreamon doesn’t like it, but it does like breaking Tommy’s spirit. Dream has to have Tommy back.
In the end, the kid makes it easy on him: he comes to Dream. Philza’s there too, which is a complication, but Dream knows he’s better than Philza. He can kill him if he needs to. Tommy won’t forgive him for it, though. The thought is delicious.
They face each other on the balcony of the HEP tower. Dream killed all the snipers hiding up here. No doubt they’ve respawned.
“They don’t really care about you, Tommy,” Dream smiles indulgently. Stupid child. “They think you’re a novelty. They pity you, because you know blood like I do. Don’t you miss it? These ‘hermit’ assholes-- they go on and on about how everyone is equal, but it’s bullshit. Where’s your admin?”
Philza shifts uncomfortably from his position behind Tommy, swayed by Dream’s rhetoric but unwilling to compromise on his son’s wellbeing. Tommy snarls. He doesn’t know where Xisuma is, but he knows exactly what the admin is doing.
Dream barks out a nasty laugh. “If the hermits really liked you, if your admin really cared, he’d be here. But I’m here, Tommy. I fight alongside my men. Look around. All the death, all the destruction? I did it all for you.”
Dream slithers closer, still smiling. Phil raises his sword minutely, and Dream stops approaching but doesn’t back away.
“I’m your only friend, Tommy. I visited you every day in exile. Remember the trident I gave you? We had good times together.” Dream’s voice grows hard. “Then you lied to me. You turned your back on me. I have been nothing but patient with you. I’ve given you so many second chances. This is your last one. Come back home with me.”
Tommy meets his father’s gaze. He can barely see past the water in his eyes. His breath catches in his throat as he holds his arms up, silently asking Dream for a hug. Tommy needs this, he needs this to happen.
Knowing that he’s won, Dream grins triumphantly. He wraps his arms around the young man, then chokes. Philza meets the possessed man’s shocked gaze over Tommy’s shoulder as blood flows freely down the blade of his sword, seeps into Philza’s palms as he yanks out the sword that he’s buried in Dream’s chest through his son.
“What--” Dream rasps, trying to pull away from Tommy. The boy’s hands around his back are suddenly a vise grip, nails like claws digging into his shoulderblades.
The hermit admin, unseen til now, swoops down with his elytra and shouts in a language that Dream doesn’t understand. The dreamon knows it, though. As the tall, armored admin flicks through debug screens, the floor glows purple with Aurebesh runes. Dream’s skin feels like it’s melting.
The sky goes black, then white. Consciousness returns to Dream in patches. A short woman with flowers in her brown hair is splashing the two of them with healing potions-- Tommy is still holding him up. All at once, the gravity of the situation hits him.
“Hold your fire!” he roars. Half of his men are dead anyway.
He grips desperately at his hair. “Oh God, what have I done?” He feels physically ill. “Tommy, kill me. I only have one canon life, it’ll stick, I deserve it for what I did to you.”
Tommy hears Philza suck in a sharp breath. The man that he once loved like another brother, the man he’d fought wars both with and against, the man who took everything from him, is laid out in his arms and begging for Tommy to take his revenge. It would be so easy. Tommy wouldn’t even need a sword. Technoblade wouldn’t have hesitated, if it was him here instead of Tommy. Even Tubbo would feel enough pity to put Dream out of his misery.
Tommy remembers when he lost his first canon life to Dream in a duel for his nation. He remembers seeing Wilbur’s unstable features light up when Dream gave him eleven and a half stacks of TNT. He remembers exile, and everything that came before it.
Tommy also remembers when False caught him stealing her cobblestone, and she gave him a shulker box full of it. He remembers when Impulse saw Tommy’s war room, and wept for Tommy’s childhood. He remembers the proud look on Grian’s face when they pranked Doc together. He remembers, at every turn, expecting rejection, and receiving kindness.
“No,” he says, and is taken aback by the firmness in his own voice.
Dream’s face twists in an ugly sneer, more inwardly directed than a jab at Tommy. “So that’s what I get, huh? You’re going to leave me alive to suffer?”
“No,” Tommy repeats. “We’re going to fix things. We’ll make them better.”
“That’s impossible,” Dream says incredulously.
Tommy smiles. “Not impossible-- just hard. You’re up for a challenge, yeah? I believe in you.”
The sun sets on dead bodies and rubble. The moon rises with a gleam of hope.
#mcyt#hc x dsmp#hermit!tommy au#tommyinnit#philza#ph1lza#technoblade#sleepy bois inc#dreamwastaken#stressmonster#stressmonster101#xisuma#xisumavoid#falsesymmetry#docm77#wilbur soot#grian#impulsesv#me.cpp#me.txt
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haikyuu fic recs — the most beautiful, lovely, breathtaking masterlist (vol. I)
so i’ve been binging fics to cure my sadness, and i thought that these select masterpieces were too magnificent to not be plastered on every billboard ever. some tore my soul into shreds, while others melted said shreds back whole, but all of them made me feel some form of sheer, unadulterated love, so. please enjoy! 🥰⛅️✨
note: all of these fics are exquisite and you should read all of them, but if you’re short of time, those with ☆ are my all-time favourites!
daisuga
butterfly in the subway by bigspoonnoya ☆ | T
Sugawara Koushi has no idea he's already in love with the man he's supposed to hate.
i lovelovelove how all the concepts tied in together like a perfectly wrapped gift
also very wholesome, made me feel so inexplicably warm. like, love can exist everywhere!!! despite everything!!! that’s just so inspiring
i revisited this many times, i think it was (one of) my first haikyuu fics and honestly. it set the bar so high and i have no regrets
you’d fit my lonely arms so perfectly by boxofwonder ☆ | G
“Oh. You're. Not Asahi.”
Calmed down enough that he can speak again, Daichi takes a deep breath, his smile settling on his face easily and wide.
“Not as far as I know, no.”
-
Suga accidentally calls a stranger instead of his best friend, tells him all about his burned batch of cookies before realising, and that particular mistake might turn out the best one he ever made.
major, major fluff
the buildup!!!
god this made my yearning for love so much worse
the perfect stranger by downmoon | T
There’s a man standing outside Suga's door.
Scratch that. Start over.
There’s a man he doesn’t know standing outside his door, holding his sleeping nephew in one arm, with another kid clinging tightly to his free hand.
so domestic please read the entire series from start to finish it has my whole heart
shoyou and tobio as their actual kids 🥺
these two parents are so in love it makes me wanna cry
asanoya
silica sand by lilien passe ☆ | G
Overworked, over-stressed programmer Azumane Asahi works on the top floor of a Shinjuku skyscraper. Nervous around his coworkers and terrified of the long drop on the other side of the window, Asahi falls into a miserable routine, only to have it broken one day by a simple message on the outside of the glass.
PLEASE. so well-written it makes my heart glow and ache simultaneously
made me ascend into asanoya heaven
such a brilliantly unique concept i love it A+
qué syrah syrah by loudlucy | M
Asahi wants to be a Master Sommelier. It's the highest honor in wine service, and the certification would allow him to live the life he's always envisioned for himself. Too bad the certification test is notorious for being the world's most difficult.
Most people fail their first time taking the exam, and Asahi is no exception, but he has more difficulty than most dusting himself off and getting back on his feet. Enter Nishinoya, a young man who shares his same dream, and who believes in their goals so fiercely it forces Asahi to embark on a delicious and sensuous journey of viticulture and validation.
AKA The Wine Tasting AU that literally no one even knew to ask for.
NOTE: You Do Not Need to Know About Wine to Understand This Fic!
another super unique concept!!! (´∀｀=)
my god their chemistry is amazing
the writing made me feel things ngl
stop my bones from wondering by cerasi ☆ | T
After graduation, Asahi hides from the world and needs help from a few sources to find his way back.
i want to write sonnets and sing ballads for this fic, it’s that beautiful
as always, Top Notch Writing *chef’s kiss*
no but i seriously... can i kiss the author? asking for a friend 😳👉🏼👈🏼
iwaoi
star-crossed by starlitcities | T
“I never thought I’d see the day that I’d envy a human,” Oikawa admits, showering himself in tiny suns, because he can actually feels those, like a fusillade of warm kisses on luminous skin that leave marks. To humans, they’d be freckles. Skin stars, Oikawa calls them. He didn’t make that up, a human did.
“Who created the rule that we can’t touch, I wonder,” Iwaizumi ponders, floating heedlessly through space.
“Maybe it’s because we can fly. Humans dream of flying, right?”
“I don’t think so.”
gsjsgsjshsjshsjsj star!iwaoi
they’re LITERALLY STARS
beautifulbeautifulbeautiful i love how the author conveyed the beauty of touch and humanity 🥺🥺
please bless yourself further with the sequel sun-kissed
conquering the great king by suggestivescribe ☆| E
Iwaizumi blinked his gaze over to Oikawa, "Last time was supposed to be a one time thing," he said, voice low, lacking some conviction.
Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"
yes.
in fact, this entire series (breaking the rules) features daisuga, kuroken, asanoya and it’s SO GOOD. every single one.
but anyway, character development!!!!! plot!!!!!!!!! writing!!!!!!!! i’m here for it all
tsukkiyama
campfire in your chest by deanpendragon ☆ | M
Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he’s probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he’s at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.
SO BEAUTIFUL
i am also a sucker for anything with stars, moons and all the love in between
no words to describe this work of art please just go read it and be blessed
under the lilac tree by raewrites | G
there’s a lilac tree in Kei’s backyard.
gorgeous in its simplicity
softtsukkisofttsukkisofttsukki
not as grandiose as the rest but the love written into every word, action and character is absolutely show-stopping
kagehina
saffron and cayenne pepper by dontsaycrazy ☆ | T
Cooking is hard. Even if you have your very attractive, very grumpy neighbor there to help you.
-
In which Hinata's lack of cooking skills are a danger to him and others. Luckily (or not), Kageyama is willing to teach him, if only for the sake of avoiding any burned down apartments.
the essence of their characters were captured so well and yet it’s like they’re completely new characters too? author, whoever you are, you totally owned this
this made me ship kagehina so hard
fluff! cuteness! lots and lots of cooing!
kuroken
the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony ☆ | T
soulmate
/ˈsəʊlmeɪt/ • noun
A person who was made from the same star as you.
-
// Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives.
ahhh here it is. beautiful, heartbreaking, soul-emptying agony. you want angst? choke on this, and your tears later on.
no but seriously please read this if you haven’t you won’t regret it at all i promise
written from kenma’s perspective so you experience every depth and multitude of emotion he does and it’s so raw and- brb imma go cry for a sec
knot in my heart by hearthope | T
There’s a picture. Kenma blinks, looking at the little calico cat, being held up next to the face of a guy with stupidly messy hair and a crooked grin.
Cute.
The— the cat. The cat is cute.
Just the cat.
-
Kuroo starts spending a lot of time at the flower shop Kenma works at. Kenma definitely isn't into him.
okay so i like it when authors unravel a normally stoic character’s full scope of emotion and give them depth, sue me.
anyway, back on the fluff train!
i absolutely f*ck with flower symbolisms, cats and bitchy best friends who have dirt on each other. the layers of romance, friendship and everything in between is so prettily developed 10/10
bokuaka
the jacket you never returned by daisuga ☆☆ | G
He leaned over, kissed Bokuto on the cheek, and smiled bitterly, eyes watery.
He will never remember. Not now, not ever.
What they were will now forever be forgotten.
-
"You used to call me Keiji, Koutarou."
YOU USED TO CALL ME KEIJI, KOUTAROU!!!!!!!!!!
i beg you to listen to Spiegel im Spiegel when it’s first mentioned in the story please
i read this and screamed through my tears for a solid 1.5 hours. i rarely cry.
no f*ckin regrets though i read this thrice already and it hurts so good every time
rules by conesofdunshire ☆☆ | E
In which Akaashi Keiji is an overworked accountant who stumbles upon Bokuto one night playing the piano in the lobby of his work. Bokuto is different, that much is obvious. But with such supreme musical talent and a smile so dazzling it rivals the sun, there's just something about him that brings Akaashi back every night.
this fic. this fic has my whole, broken, sobbing heart and laughing soul
gorgeous. breathtaking. magnificent.
bokuto is so WARM and akaashi is so STRONG and they both find the solace they need in each other and it’s all i want for me 😭😭😭
in another life by littleluxray | T
Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.
The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.
this is a famous fic that i doubt any seasoned haikyuu reader wouldn’t know, and RIGHTLY SO BECAUSE, the PAIN. the pain. the pain.
i could feel my lungs shrivel up and my chest cave in on itself. fatigue and rest are things i struggle with too so this whole story resonated with me from start to finish, and it broke me. in like, the best, most revitalising way
i would read this again but it still haunts me at night. i need to heal from the first time before i have the guts to try one more time HAHAHA 😆💔😭
tea-stained polaroids by dalyeau | G
“I'm gonna date that,” Bokuto declares solemnly, and Kuroo throws a plastic spoon at his head.
mmmmmmm pretty photographer + personalised coffee cups + cute baristas = diabetic fluff fic
i smiled so much throughout this you have no idea. cheeks achey but so good
i may have squealed a little at the ending
kurotsukki
moonfall by batman | T
There is no unlearning Tetsurou, after all. There is only leaving him.
-
(Five things of Tetsurou's that ended up in Kei's home, and one that never left.)
the writing!!!!!! is pure beauty!!!! sheer grace!!!!!!! the construction of the AU and the romanticism and hsjsgsjshsj
didn’t cry but. heart ache and bittersweet smiles are another level of misery that is just as fulfilling
yea just pleasepleasepleaseplease go read it thank you and have a good day
hidden gem by realmSpinner | E
Things get complicated when everything you thought you knew about a guy changes, and they get even more complicated when you actually start liking those changes.
That guy working with you AND becoming your neighbor? That's just a cherry on top of the cake of confusion.
this AU was refreshingly different, and amazingly so
top!tsukki??? sign me the f*ck up
the whole plot, man. perfection.
pings by barfs ☆☆ | T
[5/02/16, 3:50:17 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Please wake up.
[5/02/16, 3:50:23 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I hate begging. You know I hate it.
[5/02/16, 3:50:34 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I bet you’re snickering at that, wherever you are.
[5/02/16, 3:50:53 AM] Tsukishima Kei: But, it keeps hurting and I don’t know why and it feels like shit and I know you could tell me why, but you’re not here and I would really appreciate it if you’d just wake up.
[5/02/16, 3:51:02 AM] Tsukishima Kei: You’re laughing at that too, aren’t you.
[5/02/16, 3:51:10 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Dying is probably up there in the list of top ten shitty things you’ve ever done, and you’ve done a lot of shitty things.
god.
you already know what’s coming, and yet. when it comes.
how the f*ck did the author make grief beautiful????????? (at the expense of me dying along with kei and everyone else i guess)
this fic will ruin you and bury you under all your pain (i hope you’re ready)
but also put you back together with the “sequel”
kyouhaba
close to the chest by darkmagicalgirl | T
It takes Yahaba thirteen years to realize he's different from the other kids, one to figure out how to hide it, and two more to learn to be happy just the way he is. Yahaba's journey ft. an extremely annoyed Kyoutani, best friend in the world Watari, and loads and loads of good senpai Oikawa.
cause i’m (not) alright with the slow, burn~
no fr, take slow and burn very seriously
overthinking yahaba? i understand. i do.
again, such an amazing fic; 10/10 recommend
safe here by crossbelladonna ☆ | M
“Raids are routine work,” Kyoutani tells to Yahaba before he can air the question. “Sometimes there is no sleep done until we accomplish something, say kill a certain ghoul. I guess they’re still going through the possibility that people in the accident are still alive huh?”
Yahaba quirks a smile, pushing his mask up his head.
“You’re alive.”
Kyoutani looks at him intently and all of the things that they’ve gone through for the past month seems to flash in his mind.
“Yes I am.”
i haven’t watched tokyo ghoul but i understood everything perfectly. such is the power of f*cking kickass writing
*cue ugly crying and a lot of unresolved angst*
like the grief??????? ruin me please thank you 🙏 (i think i’m a little masochistic)
rare pairs
mannequin men by surveycorpsjean ☆ | M
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tuskishima]
The modelling world is full of hungry wolves, constantly clambering over the other, snarling and desperate. They fight, and they kill, trampling over anything in their path.
In this case, Akaashi fell in love with the wolves.
i did not expect this to be good, and it wasn’t. it was SPLENDID.
akaashi is so enamoured with them from the get go i love it
a tiny bit of angst that stabbed me in the heart, but the happy ending soothed it (thankfully, because if there wasn’t one i will sue)
characterisation, writing, plot development; everything is great. can you tell i’m running out of synonyms for ‘beautiful’
feel like gold by heronfem ☆☆ | T
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/kenma]
In which Kenma is unapologetic and comfortable with who he is, Akaashi learns a lot about himself in a short period of time, Kuroo is wildly in love and an eternal survivor, and Bokuto remembers that love doesn't cure mental illness, but having a support system sure helps a lot.
Or, the one where 4 young men get together, and are helplessly, hopelessly, utterly in love despite everything.
e.e. cummings?? poetry??? f*ck yes
so beautiful. i’m so star-struck by this fic it’s simply stunning
there are no words to fully capture how worth your time and heart and mind reading this fic is so please. do yourself a favour, and fall in love with this fic with me
the sky and guilt are the only feelings i have left by oopsthisisqueertoo ☆☆ | not rated
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo]
Akaashi is at his wits end. He feels nothing. He's quickly crumbling as a human being. He wants nothing but sweet release of death. In his fourth year of college he drafts a plan for his suicide. He is to graduate, publish writing for others to be inspired by, and slip quietly away. Shortly after, he meets a dog walker named Bokuto who asks him out and Akaashi reluctantly agrees. Nothing matters anymore and he treats Bokuto like an obligation. Until he's not anymore.
TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPTS & DEPRESSION
this was... this gutted me entirely and filled my body with too many shades of agony
arguably one of the best haikyuu fics i’ve ever read
so beautiful in the most painful way fathomable; strongly recommend
april to may by surveycorpsjean | T
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tsukishima]
They're an odd family.
The four of them? Parents?
But still, they're a family.
So they'll support each other until the end.
aaahhhhh third gym as parents 🥺
so much fluff. i also love april and may
they’re still so in love there’s love in every millimetre of this fic :”)
that’s it for now! i’ll add more if i come across anymore good fics. i hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any requests/fic recs, or if u just wanna chat, feel free to just ask! hehe 🥰 k aight bye~
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#fic rec#beautiful#writing#ao3 fanfic#daisuga#kuroken#bokuaka#tsukkiyama#kagehina#third gym#iwaoi#fic#reference#hq
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ok ok so ben knows abt u and i told him quite a bit abt u and everything u do...i even showed him the picture of u. he thinks u r hot 😏 and he thinks we would be a great team. he said "squad chaos am i rite?" i told him abt that one pic of him and sally doin selfcare; where u said u wanna do that with him; and he was like: wait they wanna do that with me? 🥺 so i think he loves u bestie <3 !! he loves reading fanfiction! he always reads me the jeff and toby ones and i read the rest to him lol. he's so nice; he loves all his fans.
oh here is a quick list of what some of them think of me and their fans (because instead of talking to toby i went around and asked all of them(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)):
ben: likes me; thinks i am funny? wth. this man loves all his fans and wants to hug em
nina: thinks all her fans r epic and we r basically best friends
slenderman: what r fans? no but he doesn't care. if u confront him he might be confused cuz like: "why do u like me? i could kill u" and i am basically useless to him other than the fact i make art for him and i keep the bunch occupied
toby: this man does not understand why he has less fans then jeff- he legit says "is it cuz i shower more?" (they both shower regularly [once a week ben said-] lol but they make fun of eachother a lot) idk what he thinks of me but ig he thinks i am cool?
jeffy boi: he's so smug oml- but at the same time he be like: ugh fans, they aren't good enough for me anyways! (he always asks me if u wrote a fanfiction abt him cuz he loves them. but he only likes the ones abt him. -.-) idk what he thinks of me but he speaks to me-
masky; hoodie and ej: dude i think they hate me. they always give me sideeye whenever i see them. they don't care abt fans
lj: he absolutely adores all his fans!! he loves fanart; fanfictions; cosplay all of it!! he gets so flustered cuz he doesn't really think he's as likeable like the others ig :< he said he likes me but we never spend time with eachother cuz he doesn't really hang with the chaos trio or nina
jane: doesn't like me cuz i like(love) jeff :< thinks fans r chill but doesn't really care abt it
that's all for now
-🃏
I cannot exaggerate that I let out the ugliest cry you’ve ever heard in your life enough. Fucking. God. You know that? That every time you send a message about literally anything about ben i fucking sob??? Like its bad, and it’s a problem. Also you took time out of your day to do this for me, and I could not appreciate you more. If there is anything you want, fucking I’ll do the request you sent for kinktober! ANYTRHING I SWEAR you dunno how much this made my day. I haven’t cried over something that made me happy in so long and this- this did.
I keep rereading that first paragraph and tears just fucking blind my vision, fuck. He- he thinks IM HOT??!! Jesus Christ lord almighty god help me. Because ive never felt this happy so there must be something wrong with me. YOU TOLD HIM WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE SKINCARE PIC?! God my cheeks are sticky rn, with fucking tears and my eyes are red. So thank you for that.
Side note: if I could ask something of you, just a small thing please I beg. Next time you see him please tell him that im almost there, that Ill see him soon and that i love him so very much. That would mean the world to me. FUCK I CANT STOP CRYINg.
Ok onto jeff- JEFF LIKES MY FANFICTIONS??!! WHRATUY WHAT WHATTTTT oml oml oml oml oml i feel like this is the highest level of flattery ive ever recieved. OKOK but like HE KNOWS ABOUT ME TOO? He asks if I wrote a fic about him???!!
Fuck and tell LJ i love him too, that mans was my lifeline for I dunno how long. If you can give him a hug for me, and tell him that in thought I’ve never abandoned him.
Joker card anon. Fucking i love you. I hope you know that. I hope you know that. KNOW THAT. Because this I cant even express the love I have in my heart for these words. God i sound so pathetic but thank you. It means so so so much to me. I love you.
#🚹#creepypasta#ben drowned#slenderman#jeffery woods#jeff the killer#ticci toby headcannon#laughing jack
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Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:
PYROC VS FATHER PAUL
Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm
SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.
ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.
The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.
That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.
Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?
Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.
Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….
Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.
In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.
HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.
I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family
Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this
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what are your favorite writers and your top favorite works from them?? like a top ten
I saw this ask in the middle of work and I wanted to scream aksldfjalks I’m gonna tell you rn that I got really overwhelmed with the amount of authors that have earned a spot in my top favs that I actually cut this to just the authors that I have most recently visited (this counts as returning multiple times to reread a certain fic… which happens… a lot)
@arckook Ria is one of the first authors I ever read from for k-pop fanfiction. Until Ria, I was just highkey on that Haikyuu volleyball gays/imagines and I’d like to believe that she was one of the main reasons why I began to invest myself heavily into the kpop fandom. I’m always amazed with each piece she releases. Her style is so unique and hypnotizing. There’s a big section in my heart reserved just for Ria that I don’t have enough words to convey. plz support. plz love. she’s the best
- To The Stars (Jungkook, BTS): Zombie Apocalypse AU, Enemies to Lovers AU, series, violence, angst, drama
This read is not for the light hearted. You have been warned. You will sob hysterically. You will feel rage seep into your bones. You will punch a hole in your screen. MC is an entire badass, but so broken and vulnerable; somehow she manages to keep herself together and carry on. Even when she hates Jungkook with every cell in her body, she makes sure to keep him alive, watch his six, just as he does for her. There’s only a handful of works that have kept me as heavily invested and on my toes every step of the way. And that list begins with To The Stars
@brokeandjetlagged I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made a fool out of myself in public while reading Bailey’s work…. like lord help me I can’t stay in my chair…
- We Take A Shot (Baekhyun, EXO): Office AU, boss!Baekhyun, one-shot, fluff
Even after re-reading it 2-3 times, I cannot help the obnoxious laughter escaping my mouth….sounding something along the lines of a screeching seagull. Dorky Baekhyun trying to be Mr. Businessman really killed me. LIKE PLZ THE HOVER BOARD asdfjsj I’m laughing just thinking about it
- Hurt Me, Heal Me (Yixing, EXO): Hospital AU, nurse!Yixing, one-shot, fluff
Honestly, I would pay to be Baekhyun in that moment. Someone kick me in the face if that meant I could spend some time with nurse Yixing. He’s so adorable and I highly relate to MC being a mess when he thinks that she’s Baek’s girlfriend. Overall, this fic makes my heart go kyuu~
- Bromance .2 (Minseok, EXO) : College AU, frat!Minseok, enemies to lovers AU, series (ish), fluff, smut, drama
enemies to lovers…. honestly I’m not entirely sure of what to say other than that you should read it
@sehun-smut ngl. one of the reasons, besides me passing out, that this rec list took so long to make is bc I stopped to re-read both of these fics…. no ragrats… I don’t think you’ll understand until you read all of their work… so like… you know what to do…
- Business in the Front (Baekhyun,EXO): Restaurant AU (ish), one-shot, smut
Older Baekhyun is a kink okay. I’ve never wanted to call someone daddy more in my life than while reading this fic… and like to begin with it’s hard for me to imagine Baek being zaddy, so that should say A LOT.
- Deceitful (Chanyeol, EXO) - Mafia AU, series, smut, violence
I think this is the first honeytrapper fic I’ve ever read in my life. I mean I was aware of the job description but not the actual title. I must say I’m thoroughly aroused and equally terrified.
@exhoe-imagines I really adore Ruby and Jewels. Like, they’re so funny and interactive with their followers; and their content is always breath taking. highkey power couple energy
- Can’t Hold Back (Jongdae, EXO): Enemies to Lovers AU, one-shot, smut, drama, slight angst
You already know Jongdae is fucked the minute he sees MC’s bathing suit on the ground while she’s in the pool. You already know that when he went home that evening, his meat was begging for mercy by the end of the night. jfladskjf okay I’m gross, I know, but carrying on– the growth between Jongdae’s and MCs relationship is really heartwarming. Could not have asked for more from this fic
- Lucky (Baekhyun + Chanyeol, EXO): College AU, one-shot, smut
So…. let’s talk about the elephant in the room… or should we say two? bc there is definitely more than one trunk for MC to handle… so…. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GET WREKT MC
@yehet-me-up I will never not be in love with Sarah. Her Exodus Mall series really takes me back home. Often times when I’m feeling down and sick, I return to Sarah’s page and re-read that series. To say the least, I find home in Sarah’s writing.
- The Problem With Wanting (Kyungsoo, EXO): Mall AU, series, fluff, slight angst, smut
listen to this song and just take it in…. I think this was the first fic I read from the Exodus series and it will always hold a special place in my heart. This fic in particular is what I find myself coming back to again and again, time after time, and I always feel renewed. I feel youthful. More like… you know that feeling you get when you realize you’re falling in love with someone? That’s this. Please read. Please.
- Disqualified (Kyungsoo, EXO): Friends to Lovers AU, one-shot, angst, fluff
Imagine twisting a knife in your gut and slowly removing it through the opposite side of your body. That’s this fic. But like. With love. askdjflksjd I really love the way Sarah portrays Kyungsoo. Her descriptions of his thoughts, mannerisms and quirks make me feel like I’m watching a movie. Everything is so distinct and the atmosphere feels tangible. idk words. I just love Sarah.
@snakescript I don’t know too much about this author but I’m totally and completely enamored with their writings.
- Make The Devil Cry (Taeyong, NCT) : College AU, one-shot, light angst, smut
I’m weak for the “playboy” tamer… and tbh I feel like this would be Taeyong irl. Hard and complex to the eyes of an observer, but a major softy and sweet pea to the eyes of a listener. I’m upset of how little attention this fic has bc the world is really missing out on a diamond.
- Face Like Thunder (Chanyeol, EXO): Mythology/Greek God AU, one-shot, light angst, fluff
I would like to file a complaint. My heart is crying and my love for Chanyeol is soaring and I’m ACHE FOR THE MAN. Lmao I’m not even a Chanyeol stan but this fic got me thinkin’
@johobi you can always count on Jo to make you cream your pants in the middle of Target (stay away from the baby section kids)
- Bloom / Snared (Yoonji/Yoongi, BTS): Mafia AU, smut
honestly, Yoonji can wipe the floor with my body, in pool of my own blood, and I would thank her. I really really love the way Jo depicts Yoonji here. I can just feel that fem fetal power and that in itself got me ruining my underwear.
- Tooth and Claw (Jungkook, BTS) : Werewolf AU, smut
I’ve never related to furry more in my life than while I read this fic. high key wanna be rawed and torn in half by his king kong schlong … idk how MC survived, but she’s my idol.
- Dig Deep + Interval (Yoongi, BTS): Space AU, smut
I’m ngl. I really went to Pornhub and looked up tentacle porn after reading this. Y’all can @ me, roast me if you like,,,, but you’re a got-damn liar if you say this doesn’t get your blood pumping. p sure I wrote this on my tags but i didn’t even know I liked tentacle porn until then…. I hate myself
@bread-jinie idk where to start…. there are so many things I can say about Kat…… im tongue-tied….
- Wings (Chanyeol, EXO): Friends to Lovers AU, angst, fluff
I think this fic is my favorite work Kat has written so far. It’s like she knows the right words to tug the strings of my heart and play me like a puppet. A heartbroken but hopeful puppet. MC and Chanyeol always looking at each other but never at the same time breaks me; thankfully, the ending patches me back together.
Honorable mentions bc I’ve grown v tired and cannot continue with full details for info regarding everything, in addition to the fact that I’m inpatient and I want to post this ASAP:
@kollectionn GOD SENT. DO NOT PLAY AROUND. YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE. YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. THE WORLD WILL END AS YOU KNOW IT. THEN BE REBORN FROM THE ASHES AS C WILLS IT SO. (sorry for the all caps but I feel INTENSELY about C and her works of art; If I can recall correctly, I believe she said that she would begin to write her own non-fanfic when she finds the time. I think she has the power and ability to write best selling novels that would leave J.K. Rowling quaking in her boots. Plz go and love C. Don’t ask for updates. Just show her all the love she deserves and more; I haven’t been lately and I feel terrible for it; I hope she knows I love her!!!)
@dropsofletters lemme tell you somm’… this author is so talented and diverse in her work that I find myself scattered with the amounts of fandom’s she holds in her clutch. I’m so thankful to have found her page on this godforsaken website bc she caters so much to this world. Talented. Spectacular. Amazing. Blessing to Society. I don’t think I’ve found any multi-fandom writers that has spread out as far as she has. She’s one of those authors that has exactly what you’re looking for, even if you don’t know what it is. An Angel.
@layhyunnie beautiful. ethereal. whimsical. Inspiring. I mean literally inspiring. I wrote a few drabbles after reading Guardian bc I wanted to try and bring to life a world outside of our own, to step outside reality, just like I felt while reading their work.
- Guardian (Yixing, EXO): Supernatural AU, series, fluff
Again… I’m v tired… so here’s a short list of authors I meant to add here, along with their fics/full details of why I love them:
@knockknocksoosthere / @underthejoon @marshmallow-phd @kpopfanfictrash @yeolology @yeolology @whimsical-ness @remembeo @lofiexo @nochugguk @noona-clock @noonachronicles @oilblotter @soobadnoonecanstopher
((If you would like to know more about my interests in the unfinished authors, or any authors above for that matter, then please leave me an ask!! I will answer them when I am no longer tired akjsjdf I cannot reply via chat as this is only a side blog))
#i hate u anon#did u really wanna kill me#jk sjfdsdjf#i cant hate u#i hope you like it ;;#also at all the authors i've reblogged from... you are my favorite.... im just v tired and only have 2 brain cells left#paep speaks#asks#anon#exo#bts#exo fic recs#bts fic recs
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SMFDR magic!au headcanons
A/N: as promised, i give to you the smfdr boys featuring angsT. im currently still working on the fic so stay tuned y’all because i might do another hc post with other characters (; and as always, enjoy (and check out my girl @11wolfpup11 because she’s my co in this). sidenote: Luna Andre is my oc and is John Andre and Peggy Shippen Andre’s daughter. all ya need to know for now is shes a freckley, sassy cutey that will do anything for her fam and a-a-ron
Thomas:
Death Wizard
dis poor boy can kill or weaken any living thing with just the touch of his hand
hell, any part of him is almost toxic
and he hates it more than anything, I mean who wants to be friends with someone who can’t give hugs or even the smallest gestures without the fear of dying at his hand?
honestly, no one really fucks with him
most avoid him at all costs besides James, but sometimes that’s a good thing
he can also sometimes talk to spirits and the dead as his ability is often linked to the dark arts, but the ghosts and such have to be the ones to contact him first
it scared the shit out of him the first time it happened
one of the other students’ dead grandparents reached out to him in the middle of class and he flipped the fuck out
but he himself has yet to hear from his own parents...
sometimes other students call him the Grimm Reaper
This boy would give anything to have a new power
he tries hard not to use his powers because someone either gets hurt or ends up passing out in the middle of class
he shoves it all down but because he’s so damn powerful (one of the most powerful in the school) but it leaks out anyways
it usually just kills nearby plants in which James fixes
most times he wears a lot of thick clothing and black leather gloves to keep himself from hurting people
when he first found out what he could do, he accidentally killed his parents
no one mentions it unless they literally have a death wish
either way, he’s tried so hard to try and erase the power from his soul
he’s tried spells and potions and chants and even tried to sell his soul because, i mean, if he doesn’t have a soul then he wouldn’t have any magic as magic always originates within one’s soul
James didn’t let him out of his sights for weeks after that
Did i mention he loves attention and affection?
Tommy boy puts on this sort of ‘bad boy’ aura to push people away but deep down he just wants affection
he never shows it in public but when he and James are alone in their shared dorm room, he’ll let James put flowers in his poofy curls and rant about how much he hates how Professor Hewlett gets sidetracked so easily in class
he’ll make sassy remarks in class all the time just to get the attention
and most times, it’s hilarious
emphasis on most
but he still always has a soft spot for his best friend
My boy trusts James Madison more than anyone else
because of James’ counteracting power, the two sorta just fit
Thomas is able to take his gloves off around him and be comfortable, mostly in the setting of their dorm
it took him a while to be able to do that kind of stuff because for most of his life he didn’t touch anyone
but when James assured time after time Thomas’ powers don’t affect him, eventually he became more himself around James and allowed himself to be comfortable with touches and pretend he doesn’t feel his pulse quicken and his heart jump in his throat bc fuck he loves his Jemmy
Sometimes it’s not enough
there are some instances where Thomas looses himself in the pure amount of strength his power has and James has to be the one to pull him back
and despite James being equally as strong, it still weakens him
Thomas never forgets those times...
he’ll lock himself away from everyone, including James for days
it’s like his power surges in him, begging him to release darkness and death on every damn student
it’s hard to control it and it comes in big waves, usually in correspondence with his anger issues because
this poor boy gets mad pretty fast
but James is still always there for him
he defends Tom and protects him
through it all, it always seems like they were meant to be
James:
Life Wizard
can bring most things to life and heal wounds
although depending on what the thing is or what kind of wound depends on hard it is to actually resurrect or heal
he really likes to heal plants and can even spawn lil flowers and such
he’s honestly the cutest flower boy
if he passes a dying tree or wilting flower, he always stops and makes it the most lively, beautiful thing he mostly does it with what Thomas accidentally kills
he takes pride in it but sometimes his gift can be a burden
when he first discovered them he revived someone who was dead while he was at damn funeral
it was a shit show
The most puRE
he wears these round glasses and is the quiet type in classes
if he notices someone upset or nervous, he leaves them a flower on their desk as an anonymous person but everyone knows it’s him
he has his own garden in his dorm along a window on his side of the room and checks it over every morning
he knows how much Thomas tries to avoid his garden in fear of killing it but he trusts him to not do it intentionally
Thomas sometimes gives him skulls he finds in the woods that surrounds the school and James likes to fill them with flowers and put them in the garden
“That just takes away the intimidation purpose of it, Jemmy.”
“Shush, you love it.”
usually he can pick out the days Thomas will be moodier than usual and makes sure to put on his favorite show and give him all the love and affection he wants
and yes, he loves putting flowers - usually violets - in Tom’s hair
his favorite flower type to grow are blossoming flowers because he likes the way they just bloom
Even though he pure, he fierce
don’t let appearance fool you
he may be a smol cute little guy but when it comes to people talking crap about Jefferson or shutting down his own brilliant ideas and works, he will throw down
there was this one time he “accidentally” had a giant vine wrap around another student, hanging him on a ceiling fan
he’s very methodical and cold in his fierceness but combined with Thomas’ brutality and kill-first-ask-questions-later attitude they’re kinda known as people to never get on the bad side of
Aaron:
Shadow Wizard
this bean can control or manipulate shadows and darkness to his will
in some ways he can even travel through shadows but he has to envision just exactly where he want to go and its kinda complex
but he can also use his power as a dark art even though he doesn’t prefer to do that
he mostly uses his powers to create shadow puppets and mimics that are mindless, dark creatures that are harmless and normally gentle that he can control (though he prefers not to most times)
everyone’s a little bit intimidated by him though because of his mysteriousness and just... dark aura
He loves his shadow puppets
he summons them to help with simple tasks or for company
sometimes, he sings with them for his own entertainment
it helps to avoid his loneliness
(Shadows: we dream of a brand new start, Burr: but we dream in the dark for the most part)
or he sometimes uses them to eavesdrop and sneak around because why not?
his favorite ones looks like a raven that perches on his shoulder as he does his work
Not the most social person but loves the hecc outta his friends
Aaron generally has two main friends - Luna Andre and Theodosia Prevost
Luna and him have been best friends since the very beginning, instantly connecting. they both came to Flilria around the same time so it was easy to gravitate towards each other in terms of cluelessness and such
before he met Theo, Luna was basically all he had as he was an orphan even before he knew of his magic
but Luna’s family kinda adopted him almost since Burr and Luna were so close they had become like siblings
but despite that, she’s kind of a bad influence mischief wise
even so, they both hate bringing attention to themselves and often to try to stay as neutral as possible in the eye of the public, but they share their true opinions to each other in private
overall, they’re hella close sometimes too close
Luna was the one to introduce Theo to Aaron and they all are a cool friend group
even though poor Luna is a third wheel
Ah, yes. young love ft. competition
Burr always makes it his goal to be at the top of the class
and Theo just happened to be his top competition
before he met her, he hated her because she always made it so hard to keep up and maintain the number 1 title
they would always glare and tease each other when they made eye contact in the halls or in shared classes
but once Luna formally introduced Theo to him and they set aside their little competition, they really clicked
Aaron had never felt more alive when he talked to Theo
it’s all very domestic and private since they both hated the notion of PDA
#jeffmads#aaron burr#thomas jefferson#james madison#oc#Headcanon#hamilton#hamiltrash#i tried#magic!au#fantasy#magic
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fic search #148
Please use the reply function to answer these. If you do use the ask box (and we prefer you don’t) please give link, # of fic search and # of item in the search. Thank you.
1. A Little Less 16 Candles A Little More Touch Me by that-dam-aries
Hi admins!! I love everything y'all are doing, it's amazing! I've literally looked everywhere for this fic. It's a lay/luhan where lay gets kidnapped a lot and luhan takes his memories and they get transferred to luhan. Luhan loves lay, but lay is with someone else. I know they get together in the end when lay finds out that luhan keeps the memories of the kidnappings. That's all I can remember, sorry if it's not helpful. Thank you!!
2. If The Police Ask by masaringo
Hi. I was looking for a Chanbaek fic, but the only thing I remember is them in bed and they were having sex and they couldn't find a position Baek was comfortable with so they kept changing and changing the positions until they found one .
3.
Hi! I'm trying to find a story I read on AFF. It was a Taoris high school detention au fic with smut and it had a threesome at the end (with Chanyeol I think but I'm not sure) in the bleachers I believe
4. if my heart was a house (you’d be home) by jumpthisship
Hey I can't find this one fic, I think it was on LJ, I'm pretty sure it was sesoo? Kyungsoo was for sure in it, he invited his roommate (sehun) to spend some time at his house that was on the countryside and it was set in the USA. I can't remember much but I think chanyeol was his childhood friend and they went to separate unis and there was a corn maze at some point I think. I'm super sorry for the bad description but I was really hoping to find this. Thank you!!!
5. I Know Your Lips Like the Back of My Hand by MitchMatchedSocks
hi hi! i had read this ot9 fic that i read on ao3 (or livejournal;; not sure which one) where sehun had bet/told baekhyun that he could guess each member by their kissing technique and by the end of it everyone had split off into their own little groups. it was really descriptive and i can't for the life of me remember the title or the author. thank you in advance!!!
6.
hello, so there is this fic i read in ao3 a long time ago, it was a chanbaek fic and baekhyun was a power bottom. i'm pretty sure that baekhyun said something among these lines, "i'm gonna ride you until you beg to come" i've tried searching in ao3 with all of the tags that came to my mind but i couldn't find it, i would be really happy if you helped me find this fic, i really liked it! btw, thank you for your hard work xx
7.
Does anyone know the name of this fic? It was a Krisho oneshot, it was a canon!AU and I remember reading it on LJ where Suho basically dreams of having sex but doesn't know who the other is so he has to masturbate in the bathroom to relieve himself but everyone gets fed up with him taking ages in the bathroom so Kris decides to help Suho's "problem" and then in the end, suho recognises Kris's hands from his dream and kisses him??
8.
Hey! I`ve been looking for a fic I read a couple years ago, maybe one of you have read it too: it was sekai, and it was a high school au. The story was set in a small city, sehun was the new kid from seoul. Kai was dating Krystal and at one point Sehun fucks her and Kai finds them. Also, at one point they have a field trip to seoul and Sehun meets Luhan, who is his ex or something. I`m not sure if there`s some internalized homophobia. I hope someone finds it, thank you so muchhh <3
9. sketch(y) by curledupkitten
hi!! im looking for a fic where junmyeon is sehun's art teacher and sehun likes him and they end up having sex. i dont remeber much from it im so sorry
10. Worth Every Penny by MitchMatchedSocks
Hi! I'm looking for fic that I read on AO3. It was a hunhan fic it was probably an oneshot, idk. It started off with Luhan going back home during a holiday & he met Sehun at the airport where they had a flight delay & stopped in like NY or somewhere then there was some smut. Afterwards they went back on the plane and at the end Sehun became something like Luhan's sugar daddy or maybe it was a joke haha. Anyways Sehun visited Luhan's dorm at the endish. Lol idk how helpful that was but thank you!
thanks to the anons, peaches--and--scream, hazecake, u-haruka, just-get-me-my-mineral-water and elderparkchanyeol for your help!
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Unstable
NOTE: Freshly edited this. I’d like to warn that in this chapter there is a panic attack/anxiety. Also, for the rest of this fic (I like to call it a book lol) this warning will apply, and all of the anixety/panic related things are based on my own experiences, so if you think they are weird/innaccurate, I am basing them off my own panic attacks and anxiety. There is also violence, cussing and all that stuff. I would love some feedback on my writing!
THE PUZZLE
Chapter Three
-----------------------------
June 6th, 1990
“Mommy please don't go!” I remember telling my mom, as I pulled on her shirt.
“I know honey, but mommy and daddy have to help their friends, ok?” She replied and my dad came galloping down the stairs
“Ready girls?” He asked and grabbed his car keys.
I didn't think much of the ride to my grandparents house, but now I think of that car ride constantly; that was the last car ride I'd have with my parents. My dad picked me up out of the car and carried me to grandpas front door. I cried when they left, begging them to stay.
Grandpa said they would be gone for a week at the most. A week passed, then another. In the kitchen of the second week, Grandpa answered the phone and he dropped the phone, letting it hang by the cord. I tried to ask him what was wrong, but he composed himself and acted as if it was nothing. Even though I was small, I knew something was wrong. I was always a smart kid, and could read people before Grandpa made me learn.
Weeks turned into months and everyday I asked my Grandpa when my parents were coming to get me. His replies were always the same: ‘They'll be here in no time, Gray.”
One night I had a nightmare, the first of many that would take place most nights for the rest of my life. I went to my Grandpa's room looking for comfort but instead, he was weeping on the edge of his bed. I ended up doing the comforting.
“It’s ok, Grandpa, I miss Mommy and Daddy too, but you said they’ll be here soon,” I tried to explain, but I didn't understand why he kept crying.
He pulled me up onto his lap and through his tears told me, “Mommy and Daddy went to heaven, we won't see them for a long time.”
As I got older, I understood and remembered every detail of the last day I saw them. I think of my mom when I listen to her favorite music. I think of my Dad when I wear the necklace he gave my mom when they were teenagers. It’s a small chain with the moon on it; I remember my mom loving to go outside and look at the stars, the moon represented her love for the night and stars.
On my birthday each year Grandpa would give me something of theirs. I could tell it pained him to let go of those things, but he always told me they would want me to have them. Everywhere I go I wear the necklace, I listen to the music in the car, and read the books they used to own.
December 29th, 2006
“New York really is pretty in the winter,” I think outloud.
“It’s going to be even better when we kill this werewolf,” Dean states.
We check into the first motel with vacancy and I check in first.
“One king please,” I say to the woman behind the counter, getting money out of my pocket.
“Sorry, sweetie, the only room left is a double queen,” she replies with a severe smokers voice. I look at Sam and Dean, they just nod, whatever that means.
“The three of us will take that room then,” I say and hand her money, and she hands me the keys.
We walk down the hall to find our room. I unlock the door and stand in the entrance in shock. There are mirrors on the ceiling, no wonder it was rather expensive, and it was the last room left. The brothers walk in and Dean just starts smiling like a wierdo. Sam doesn't seem to care and sets his bag on the couch. I drop my bag on the floor and make my way back to the check in desk.
I ring the bell and the same woman comes to the counter, “Yes?”
“Are you sure there aren't any more rooms left, there's um-”
“Mirrors on the ceiling? I know, Sorry hon, it's the last room we got, surprising though since it's almost New Years,” she says.
I walk back to the room, a little disgusted by the room that I have to share with two guys. I get a shiver down my spine and open the door. I throw myself on the first bed and can't stop saying the word ‘ew’ in my mind over and over again.
“We should get started on the case soon, only a few hours until it's dark,” I hear Sam say and sit up.
“Well let's head to the station then,” Dean says.
“Alright,” Sam agrees and they both look at me.
“I think I'm going to check on the latest scene and see if I can find anything,” I say.
“What? No,” Dean says, “I think you should stick with us.”
“Why? Because I’m ‘unstable?’ I can handle myself,” I argue.
“Yeah, actually that's exactly why,” he admits.
“Listen you prick, you don't know me, you have your problems and I have mine,” I snap.
“Dean, come on-” Sam starts but Dean cuts him off.
“STAY OUT OF THIS SAM!”
“Look at that, you just think you're the boss of everyone! Do you always talk to your brother like that?”
“I don't think you're experienced enough to hunt by yourself,” He replies and ignores my question.
“Really? I've been training since I was 7 years old, I could kill you right now just by poking the right pressure points.”
“That doesn't mean anything.”
“It doesn't? Fine, how about I use my knife throwing to defend myself? Or how about archery? Maybe even mixed martial arts?” I list, and Sam raises his brows, impressed by the skills my grandfather made me learn.
“None of that means that you make good decisions!” Dean yells.
“Oh, so it's my judgement?”
“YES! You freaking took on a vampire nest by yourself and now you want to take on a werewolf? Are you insane?”
“You know what, since we're pointing out things ‘wrong’ with me, why don't I point out yours?” I ask sarcastically, “Let's see, who is it that made enemies with Gordon and got me attacked because of it? And you won't even tell me why!”
“That has nothing to do with what we're talking about!” He yells.
I ignore him and continue, “You know what, maybe I will listen to you, if you're honest. Thats one thing I got over you, buddy, at least im honest. Yeah, I'm a little too confident, sometimes I think I can handle these things by myself, but you know what?”
“You're getting on my nerves,” he fumes.
“I can tell just by looking at you that you lie all the time. You lie to make yourself feel better, you lie to your brother quite a bit, and I know for a fact that you bottle everything inside just so people don't see it,” He looks frustrated now, I think I hit him hard, “But I can see right through you, so next time you want to accuse me of being unstable, just look at yourself.”
I put on my jacket, gloves and hat and go to the door, “And just in case you were wondering, psychology is another thing my grandpa trained me in you asshole,” I finish and slam the door behind me.
I make my way to the scene, which is a rather long walk. I get on the street where we think the most recent attack took place. The last kill was in an alleyway. I hear trashcans moving in an alley and go to it. It’s only a cat, scrounging for food, I’m guessing. I pull out what's left of a pack of teddy grahams and give it to the cat. She takes them and rubs against me.
“You're not a big bad wolf, are you?” I say and scratch her head. She looks up suddenly and runs away.
“Fine.” I'm hurt, I thought we were bonding. I turn around to see what the cat saw, there a man standing at the end of the alley. “I don't really feel like getting mugged right now, so leave me alone,” and I keep walking, sure that I can kick his ass if he tries anything.
As I approach, he doesn't move and I can see him better with each step I take. Hes muscular, tall and overall sketchy looking. He stares at me as if I'm an old friend.
“Kelly?” He asks.
“Uh, sorry pal, I'm not the girl you think I am,” I say and walk past him, but he grabs my arm and squeezes hard.
“You look just like my Kelly,” he breathes rather hard and continues, “Beautiful Hazel eyes, waved chestnut hair...”
“Ok, creep, let me go,” I say and jerk my arm out of his grasp and continue walking. I hear a low growl then look back at the man, “look, back off- oh my god.”
The man doesn't look how he did seconds ago...he's the monster im hunting. I pull out my gun and shoot, hitting him in the shoulder as he charges at me. I sprint down the street to get away but I can feel him on my heels. Think, Grayson, think. I take a sharp turn down a different alley that I passed earlier. There's a high fence at the end, it might not stop him, I just hope it gives me time to get away. I get to the fence and climb as fast as I can, but after getting a few feet up, it's over; I feel his claws latch themselves into my ankle and wrench me down. I land on my back and aim my gun but he smacks it from my hand. I crawl backwards like a crab until my back hits the fence.
He puts his face inches from mine and just stares for what feels like minutes. He makes an animal noise and I close my eyes, I don't want to see what he does next. I expect him to kill me, but instead he lifts me up and I open my eyes. Hes carrying me over his beastly shoulder. Shit shit shit, this is not good.
I constantly try to fight, but he squeezes me with so much strength that I have to gasp for breath. He ends up taking me to an abandoned building or something, maybe an old dog kennel, judging by the cages. He literally throws me into one and I land on my tailbone.
“So what now? Trust me I'm shallow and won't fall in love with you based on your personality,” I say, hoping to get a rise out of him so he makes noise or gives me a chance at escape.
He just growls and locks the cage. All I have left is the knife I always have strapped to my thigh and some silver bullets for the gun left in the alley. My phone must've fell out of my pocket while he was chasing me. I've never seen a werewolf act so human while in the animal phase.
Through a small window I can see that the sky has finally gone dark. Hopefully this mutt will stop pacing around in circles and leave so I can make a break for it.
“Alright buddy, if you're going to kill me, might as well get it over with.”
He replies with a low growl.
“So what's the point of keeping me here, huh? You killed all your other victims on the spot, why the sudden change?”
He ignores me and continues pacing. Bitch. I sit on the cement floor and rest my back on the kennel wall. I get out my knife and twirl it around for fun. More hours pass.
“You know, my Grandpa made me get training in knife throwing, if these bars weren't between us, I could hit you right between the eyes,” I say out loud, knowing he either won't respond or do so with a growl.
Either I got used to his paws constantly touching the floor, or he left. Quietly I get up and look out. Hes gone, maybe he's turning back or getting food. I walk to the back of my kennel and kick the chained door as hard as i can. Nothing. I try again, but no luck. Next I try to pick the lock with my knife, which from the beginning was a stupid idea, but was worth a shot. I hear a distant noise and step back. The werewolf comes back, but looks more enraged than ever.
He runs at the bars and his claws scrape the metal on the door. What the hell was the point of trapping me just to have a harder time attacking me? I panic as he begins breaking through. I get an idea and begin climbing up two of the kennel walls, stretching one leg on each side. He breaks the lock and chains and barrels through. He jumps at me and I jump down, kicking him with both feet in the chest. It knocks the beast down and I run as fast as I can out of there.
I get out of the room and enter a long hallway. There are bigger windows and I can tell the sun is about to rise. When he changes I can kill him. I look back for a moment and he breaks through the door and his eyes lock on me. I push myself to run as fast as I can, but he easily catches up just like before. I go into a random room and slam the door. It's a heavy door, so it will take him longer to get through. It looks like an old office or something, because there is a desk and a bunch of random paperwork on the ground.
There's a big window behind the desk. The pounding and scratching on the door is constantly reminding me to hurry. I push the desk out of the way easily and pull the blinds all the way up. Its one of those protected windows that doesn't open, like ones that I see in schools sometimes. I pick up the desk and throw it the best I can manage at the window. The window shatters seconds before the door breaks down.
I jump out the window and bolt down the narrow alley. I get out to the empty street and look around as I turn the corner; I have no idea where I am. I look back for a mere moment and the wolf is nowhere in sight. I decide to go back and see if he changed.
I check the alleyway and the abandoned building, but there's no sight of him. He must've changed back. Now I have to figure out where the motel is and yell at Sam and Dean for not finding me, if they bothered to look. As I walk, the streets get busier and I get dirty looks from a lot of people. I walk past a large window of a building and see why; my clothes are ripped in places, I’m covered in dirt and a little blood, not to mention my hair looks like I brushed it with an eggbeater. I'll take a shower as soon as I get back.
Somehow I make it to the alley with the big fence and find my gun but no phone. I shove it in my jacket and walk back to the motel. I knock on the door of the room I’m sharing with the Winchester brothers and step back waiting for the door to open, arms crossed. Dean opens the door.
“Where have you been?!” he asks frantically.
“Thats a good question Dean,” I reply casually, pushing past him to walk into the room.
“What happened to you?” Sam asks looking at me up and down, seeing the mess that is me.
“I don't know, maybe last night when I was by myself I got attacked by the werewolf and he literally trapped me in a cage the whole night.”
“Why didn't you call us?!” Dean asks, as if I didn't think of that.
“Well, while I was running from him or when he tossed me over his shoulder I lost it, you must think i'm really stupid, why didn't you two try to find me?”
“We did, we found your gun and your hat-” Sam starts.
“We searched all night, we called a million times. At about 4 am we decided to come back here and look for anything that might have helped,” Dean finishes explaining.
“Did you find anything?” I ask.
“Well the first victim was the guy's girlfriend and she looked a little bit like you,” Sam states.
“Kelly…” I whisper to myself.
“Yeah, how'd you know?” Sam asks, confused.
I look up at Sam, Dean looking at me waiting for an answer. “Before he changed, he said I looked just like her but when I tried to walk away he changed and attacked me,” I explain.
“But you said he put you in a cage?” Dean asks.
“Yeah, he didn't hurt me, he just put me in the cage the whole time. He was pacing the room the whole time.” I respond.
“I think I know what's going on here,” Sam states, Dean and I look at him with curiosity.
“Well are you going to explain it to us?” Dean asks sarcastically.
“Amara looks like Kelly right? So when he saw her maybe the animal inside took control.”
“What?” I ask.
“When he saw you, it triggered something, he was supposed to kill you, but he didn't,” Sam finishes and Dean gets a look of realization, but I still don't get it.
“Looks like Wolfy has a crush on you, Sunshine,” Dean says and laughs.
“So he didn't kill me because…?”
“He was protecting you from himself is my guess,” Sam says and I just let out a long sigh.
“So I guess we know how to find him and end this,” I state, dreading what I know I have to do.
Later, I take Sam and Dean back to the kennel place the wolf--Hal is what Sam told me his name is-- took me to last night. We look through the building thoroughly and decided to wait for him to come, if he does come.
After about 2 hours of waiting we hear footsteps coming down the hall I escaped from this morning. The door opens and Hal sees me.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” He asks, panicked.
“I thought I’d pay you a visit.”
“You-you can't be here, you saw what happened, I-”
“Turned into a werewolf?”
“Yes...you need to leave, or it will come back, he's already trying to get out.”
I look at him with my eyes slightly squinted. “Why did you lock me up last night?”
“I was trying to stop it, I- he wants you, it's like he owns you, or at least that's what he thinks.”
“Stop calling it ‘him’, thats you.”
“No...no it's not, I try to keep it in but he just-he just takes control and-” And he starts breaking down in tears.
“Look, I need to end this before you kill more people, or take innocent girls in the middle of the night.”
“What do you mean?” he asks through his bawling.
I just pull my gun from my jacket and his whole mood changes.
“No-I won't let you-AGH- I WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY FROM ME AGAIN KELLY!” He shouts as he turns from human to wolf.
“GUYS!” I shout and the brothers come out from their hiding places and aim their guns at him as I do.
He charges towards me and the three of us shoot simultaneously. He dodges most of the bullets and once again grabs me as I shoot at him. I just can't get a break. Once again I'm thrown over his shoulder as he runs away. I look back at Sam and Dean running after the beast, they are not nearly as fast and I lose sight of them. I still have my gun and try shooting at the back of his feet, but it's hard because of all the movement. I don't want to waste the last bullets I have and decide to wait until the timing is better.
He ends up taking me to woods. All I see is trees in every direction. He sets me down and sniffs me. I seriously hate this. I get my gun out but he sees and scratches my hand and I scream in pain, he knocks the gun feet away and my right hand is covered in blood. The sound of a twig snapping makes him dart his head and he runs. I crawl to my gun, then get up. I take off in the opposite direction that he went and go as fast as I can, hoping that if I go straight I will eventually get out of the woods.
I hate werewolves so much now; maybe I hate them more than shapeshifters. Who am I kidding? Those things will be at the top of my list since what happened with Cameron.
I keep running and dodging trees but surprisingly I haven't found my way out. I stop to climb a tree and see if I can see city lights. I have a hard time- I'll admit I suck at climbing- but I manage to get pretty far up despite the clawed hand. I look and I've been running the wrong way this whole time, guess I have to take my chances with wolf buddy. I get down and go back the way I came. My right leg is starting to hurt from the healing stab wound. I slow down only a little bit and keep going.
I hear the shaking of leaves close by but keep going. Then I hear it; I hear the vicious growl of a werewolf. I turn my head and he pounces on me. My face hits the ground, snow getting in my mouth and eyes. He flips me over onto my back and pins my arms with his mutated paws. His saliva drips on me while I grit my teeth; once again this thing has me waiting for my demise. He barks-more like roars- in my face and I can feel my eyes watering and my chest becoming heavy. If I'm going to die I might as well admit to myself that I'm horrified. I rest my head back and try to look past the beast and at the stars.
Hot tears run down the sides of my cheeks and start to heave. I can feel it coming, a panic attack. The wolf doesn't do anything to me but keep me pinned so he can scare me. The tears start rolling out faster, breathing becomes harder and I start sweating profusely. I'm going to die and my last moments will be spent having a panic attack-great, exactly the way I don't want to go.
The werewolf starts growling and I can see what he's trying to do now, he's trying to bite me. I'd rather die than be a werewolf. I scream and cry as he licks his chops and puts his jaws closer to my skin.
“HEY FURBALL!” I hear someone shout, followed by a gunshot. It hits the thing, but not in a fatal spot. I hear him whimper and he gets off me fast enough that I don't hear another shot go off. Without his weight on me, I can feel my body moving much more from the panic. I stay on the ground, in the same position he had me pinned and keep crying, not able to move. I know I can't control it, so I don't try to. My vision is blurry and it's dark, but I can see someone standing above me, crouching down.
“Grayson, come on, he's gone,” I hear the person say, and realize its Dean. I try to respond but it comes out garbled and I can't even understand myself. Next thing I know he is putting his arms under my knee and arms, lifting me up.
“Put me down, I can walk myself,” I try to say but it sounds more like ‘Puh meown Ikin wall myself.’
“I can't understand you, just focus on calming down,” He replies and keeps walking.
He walks us out of the woods and I see his car, Sam standing there waiting. He looks at me like he's worried but I don't want him to see me like this and turn away, my face in Dean's jacket like a little kid.
He slides me in the back seat and drives. The panic attack is still strong; I can't help but think about how Grandpa would react to this. As he trained me this would happen a bit and he would make me finish the hunt on my own sometimes to try and teach me that staying calm is a big part of hunting, and the only way for me to learn was to make me do it alone so I would get over it. I was 10 when he started doing that.
The car stops and they get out, Dean comes to get me, but I push him away and get myself out. I can tell that I've sweat through my shirt and everytime I think about Grandpa it's like another wave hits me and the attack gets strong again right as I feel like it's going down.
The three of us walk into our shared motel room, Sam in front of me and Dean behind. I go to my bag to get clothes and walk to the bathroom without saying anything to them. I take a long shower and calm down to normal before the water gets cold. When I'm done getting dressed I brush my teeth and get the first aid kit out. My right hand has deep claw marks, but I don't need stitches.
I walk out Sam and Dean are watching tv on the couch. After hearing the door open, they both turn around to see me.
Dean turns off the tv, “We need a lot of sleep if we're going to catch this asshole soon.”
“Agreed,” I reply, “Where do you think they keep the extra blankets?”
“That closet maybe?” Sam suggests and points to the small closet by the entrance.
I go and there are in fact extra blankets and pillows. I grab them off the top shelf and start making my bed on the couch, since it doesn't look like a pull out.
“Hey, i’ll take the couch,” Sam volunteers.
“It's fine,” I say.
“Just take my bed.”
“Sam, I don't-” I start but he walks over and takes the blankets and pillow from me, “Fine. Thanks.”
He starts setting up the couch and I go get in the bed Dean isn't in. When done, Sam shuts off the lights and I try to sleep.
“GRAYSON RENEE REED! YOU ARE PATHETIC!” My grandfather shouts then slaps me, knocking me to the ground.
“I'm sorry!” I cry and rub my cheek. Then Mom and Dad walk in.
“I am disappointed to call you my daughter,” my mother states and kicks my lower stomach while I’m down.
“I never wanted you, I always knew there was something wrong with you,” my father adds.
My grandpa then pulls my hair to make me stand, “Even these two think you're horrible and they just met you.” Sam and Dean appear with disgusted looks on their faces.
“We just feel sorry for you. Why else would anyone ever voluntarily spend time with you?” Sam asks, his head turning to the side to put emphasis on confusion.
“You unstable bitch. You're lucky I don't kill you myself,” Dean states, aggression forming in his face.
“No- No I didn't, I can't control it, I-” I start but my grandfather slaps me to the ground again. Cameron appears and looks down at me.
“I can't believe you actually thought I loved you, are you really that pathetic?” Cameron asks.
“I'm happy we died, so we don't have to see you screw up!” My mom yells and then I start crying. I can't feel the tears but I know they're there.
“I HATE YOU!” My father yells, then everyone joins in and more people appear to take turns Even that bastard Gordon appears along with faces of familiar hunters.
“STOP!” I screech.
I wake up from my dream sweaty with moist cheeks, I push the covers off of myself and look at the clock. Its nearly 3am. I get up out of the bed and walk outside. The motel has two stories and were on the second level. I walk out in only my shorts and a t-shirt despite the cold. The brisk air immediately cools me down.
“A little cold to be dressed like that don't you think?” I turn and see Mindy walking towards me.
“What do you want?”
“Just checking up on my favorite hunter,” she smirks.
“Stop following me, if you're going to kill me, just go ahead and try.”
“No. Remember our talk last week? I like to play, and you are very feisty,” she taunts.
“I asked you why you're here, now talk.”
“I'm just keeping an eye on you, seeing if you make any progress.”
“Progress? What the hell are you talking about?” I'm seriously confused.
“You don't know. Ha, they never told you,” she laughs and I glare at her, eyes are daggers, “I suggest you look up your family history, you're related to some powerful people.”
“So what? You've been killing my family because they are strong?”
“Trust me, just look up your family tree. You will not be disappointed,” she says and walks off. I don't understand, if she wants to kill me why is she telling me this?
I watch her drive out of the motel parking lot. I take a deep breath and realize I'm freezing. I try to open the door as quietly as possible. I see Dean sitting up in his bed looking right at me.
“You okay?” He asked groggily.
“Yeah, just getting some fresh air, go back to sleep,” I tell him and he shrugs and makes himself comfortable in his bed.
“I just want to finish this hunt and go home,” I state, loading my gun with silver bullets.
“Well it might take longer since we have to stay together,” Sam reasons.
“Where to first?” Dean asks.
“Lets try his house,” Sam replies.
“Screw looking for him, let's lure him to us.”
I can tell Sam doesn't like the idea, “that didn't work the first time, we should try-”
“Please Sam, we can let him follow my scent and take him off guard.”
“That actually doesn't sound too bad,” Dean says, wow he actually agrees with me.
“Fine, but we shouldn't go after him until it's almost dawn so we don't have to fight him too long,” Sam says, so we wait all night until its 6am. The plan is for me to walk ‘alone’ down the streets but Sam and Dean will be close enough to come help if something happens.
I walk down the empty street, my hands in my jacket pockets with my gun on the right side. It's cold enough for me to see my breath. I take a turn down an alley and lean against a wall, waiting. After a few minutes I check the street again, but see nothing. I turn to look deeper into the dark alley and see glowing eyes. I grab my gun from inside my pocket and click the bullet into place. The eyes emerge out of the shadow and I recognize the werewolf.
He stalks towards me, growling. I don't want to move suddenly and cause him to attack me or worse, take me and trap me in a freaking cage again. He gets nearly 10 feet away and I pulled out my hands and aim my gun; he hesitates, but then continues towards me.
“Look, if you leave me alone, I won't shoot you,” I lie but it doesn't make him stop. He starts circling me. It's the perfect opportunity to shoot, but it seems too perfect. What is he doing?
I push the thought to the side and shoot. He lays dead on the cement, bleeding out of his chest. That was too easy. After all the fighting, he just let me shoot him. Did he hold back or something? Did he see Kelly and hold back? I guess I’ll never know the answers.
The brothers give me a ride back to my grandpas cabin and I can't help but think about what's happened in the past 2 weeks: Gordon kidnapping me, the more frequent panic attacks, Mindy telling me she killed my family and then hinting to look up my family tree.
“So..” I start, getting Sam and Deans attention, “Are you guys going to tell me about the whole Gordon thing yet or?”
“You want the truth so bad, fine, go ahead and tell her Sammy,” Dean says not so friendly.
“Well, I-uh- sort of have these premonitions and there are other people like me around the country...long story short, because I'm a psychic, Gordon thinks I'm a monster and wants to kill me,” Sam explains, that is not what I expected.
“So he kidnapped me to lure you, so that he could kill you?”
“Pretty much, yeah,” Sam answers.
“Well, why would he do that if I barely know you guys?”
“He probably thought he could easily take you off your guard,” Dean interrupts.
“And how would he know when to take me off my guard if I’ve never met him before then?” I ask teasingly, “were you guys talking about me?”
They exchange glances. I raise my eyebrows, waiting.
“We met him and we were talking about good hunters we know,” Dean says under his breath.
“I'm sorry what?”
“When we met him we got into a conversation about hunters, and you happened to pop up because you are a hunter,” Dean repeats, I couldve swore the first time he said ‘good hunters’.
“So you think I’m good enough to tell other hunters about?” Man, this keeps getting better and better.
“I'll admit that when you took out that nest when we first met was pretty kickass.” Man, I guess Dean does have a heart after all.
They drop me off at the cabin and I wave as they drive away. Now I can look into the family tree like Mindy suggested. But where to start?
So that’s the end of Chapter three. There are some things I would want to change, but I decided to just edit it for mistakes and post it how it is and focus on writing newer chapters. If you read it, THANK YOU!! Please if you have any suggestions or questions let me know! I will probably post chapter four soon.
#spn#supernatural#supernatural fanfiction#spn fanfiction#spn fanfic#spn imagines#spn imagine#supernatural imagine#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#werewolf#graysonpuzzle#chapter three
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