#im always here to talk as I've seen through a thing or two cause ive been through a thing or twođŒ
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I ate your heart
warnings: graphic description of: violence, SA, gore, mentions of cannibalism, murder, reader almost gets graped, alcoholism*, manipulation, âvictim blaming,â unhealthy coping mechanisms, dark content - alastor and readers relationship is up for interpretation
dawg imagine you get killed by yan human alastor.đ«Ł
like youâre thinking that youâll finally be safe in the afterlife, hoping that you got a spot in heaven. (yet apparently, premarital sex would automatically remove your spot in line for a chance at salvation)
blasphemy does those kinda thingsđ€·đ»
doesnât matter if you lived as a nun. helping sinners see the light and righteousness of god. doesnât matter if you fed por hand your entire life. or even if you solved the trolly problem.
one toe out of line, and your ass is grass.
so youâre in hell. if you knew youâd be going to hell you wouldâve done a lot worse things in your human life for more power.
imagine living on the low, yeah youâve killed people, maybe even took a soul or two. but itâs nothing to brag about, especially compared to the over lords.
â
very important note at the end.
1-800-662-4357 - addiction hotline.
-
by pressing âread moreâ you have consented to reading this.
just a few years into your stay they started going missing. one, by one.
there was a whisper in the wind, a chill in the air as everyone had this impending sense of dread as a new over lord would be found almost daily. ripped to shreds, horribly mutilated, with missing limbs and ginormous bite marks that would open the food gates for intestines to spill out and pool around them.
sometimes there were no intestines at all.
or a body.
yet there was always a new broadcast
it wasnât an exaggeration that everyone has been looking over their shoulders whenever the shadows looked a bit longer than usual. when the air starting churning and crackling. when the sudden sound of screaming ripped through the air. it was a natural hell-born reflex to flinch at the slightest noise of static.
a conditioning technique his radio broadcasts seemed to involuntarily instill on sinners.
youâve never seen this so called âradio demonâ in person before. well, barely have been able to escape him and tell the tale so you werenât sure what to look for.
or look out for. all you knew is that his name was alastor. and that whenever you heard that name you blood ran cold and your body stiffened.
tour mind would ring and your head would pound as you try to remember just where youâve heard that name before.
yet your memory always failed you.
but alcohol never did.
seated at a bar as noisy club music blasted, you trace your finger longingly on the rim of your shot glass. eyes already drooping as your wrist which was keeping your head propped up started to ache.
you wouldnât call yourself an alcoholic per say. more of a,,, continuous ïżŒconnoisseur. which was surprising due to the ïżŒ hellish prices on everything here.
itâs not eternal damnation unless thereâs a 5% sales tax plus gruitivity.
so instead of working your ass off to make a living, youâve decided: âhey, itâs hell! i can do whatever i want (to an extent) and so i choose to scam men!!â
with every new bar came a new rotation of men looking to take up the empty seat next to you. you puffed your chest as you recalled a few women and non conforming folks take the seat sometimes.
you always made sure to⊠entertain them.
feeling a familiar pit in your stomach, you pause your hand. the coldness of the shot glass cooling your hot lips as the animal man next to you howls with laughter. the alcohol hitting his system like a firecracker.
and like clock work, his hand slipped around your waist, as he whispered filthy nothings you didnât bother to catch, having heard it all before. even the sweet begging to take out to one of the many sex rooms the club has.
yet he dragged you towards the exit.
and you allowed him.
you thought it comically ironic that you were doing just the thing that punched your ticket down here.
the bitter cold nipped at your skin and tickled your brain. you were always so confused with the temperature of hell. freezing at night, scorching during the day.
even heâll hated the homeless. who knew đ€·đ»
in the alley next to the club the animal man was biting and clawing at you. panting and speaking gibberish as his clumsy movements seemed to cause a new line of blood on your skin. you couldnât do much to stop it.
limbs and eyes heavy as you tried focusing on him, on his wandering hands, his filthy mouth.
you wanted to go home.
he favored ignoring your sluggish mumbling and groans to comment about âwanting to fuck you nice and hard, giving you a few kits to remember him by.â
your clothes were practically in shreds. the chill in the air adding a faux impression of clarity as your arms started to weakly bang against him.
you didnât even think he noticed as your fists wouldnât even make it to his chest. you were so weak right now.
the only reason you werenât crumpled on the ground as because he were pinning your entire body to the wall.
yet the inconsistent grip he had on you caused you to ping pong a bit.
âs stowpâ you slurred, head lolling down as you felt his claws stop momentarily. he let out a cackle that rang through your eyes and rattled your brian stem.
fuck. you hissed. this is gonna one shit of a hang over
the drunk broke your thoughts as he continued his drunken rambles.
âthe moment you took the sshhhotâ spit flew in your face âi paid for⊠you were mineâ he pushed his face in your neck, the hotness of his breathe sending distressed shivers down your body. urging your body to WAKE UP
yet he kept you pinned. you head looked to the side when tears started streaming down your face and with a big, slimy lick he greedily lapped them up.
you started struggling once his claws moved to your legs.
fuck fuck fuck you fucked up. you fucked up. why did you think this was a good idea, you knew something bad was going to happen. why didnât you just listen to your gut. why didnât you just take his watch and turn to the next man. why did you entertain him.
why did you let him buy you that drink.
âangel shotâ had different meanings for the orderer.
if a woman ordered it, then security would either beat the shit or kill the demon she pointed out. (whether the staff respected women or just wanted an excuse to get blood on their hands, was a topic you often avoided thinking about)
but, if a man orders it⊠he wants to take a woman to the heavenly gates of sovereignty himself.
that last part is often open to interpretation.
nothing ever got done about these drinks. you were in hell after all. you think the politicians would ban something they invited?
the sting of his drool on an open, bloody bite mark on your collarbone ripped you from the sanctuary ïżŒof your minds palace as his glowing yellow pierced into yours.
in an instant you felt nails digging into the flesh of your bruised and battered neck. blood dripped from your neck and onto your body as he squeezed harder.
black spots danced across your vision, followed by white, then purple, then red.
âhelpâ you choked out, head lolling to the alley way as people walked by, not even phased. it was just an average day in hell after all.
the arm that wasnât trying to put distance between you and him was heavily reaching out towards the street. hoping anyone, anything would come save you from your fuck up.
âget ready to meet god, bitchâ he growled, hands-
there was a squelching noise as his breathe stilled. you dropped to the ground, hard. as he let go of you. his clawed hands fell limp to his sides. his face was blank as he staggered back.
âw-whatâ he stuttered, arms shakily moving to his stomach- well, what used to be his stomach- as a black tendril was impaling him.
you couldnât move, couldnât even stand or lift your eyes to see the scene before you. your heart beat was slow, yet thunderous in your ears. itâs thump almost made you miss the pleading, miss the screams of absolute anguish as the sound of flesh tearing and static and laughter filled the air. miss the way his head rolled in your direction before a dark, clawed hand reached from the hands and snatched it back.
it felt like hours before someone came up to you. but realistically, it was only a few seconds before you felt something hard and metal touch your head. only for the oddly shaped stick to wrap around your hair and yank your head up.
you groaned at the pain, eyes droopy as you struggled to stay conscious. you wouldnât have been able to fight even if you wanted to.
paralyzing fear that washed over you like a tsunami, RUN. a voice spoke. yet you couldnât even breath automatically. that job becoming harder and harder with each passing second. you couldnât forget about the possibility of broken bones after⊠your viscous assault.
so you had no choice but to stayïżŒ pliant to the new player in the game. ïżŒ
âwell well wellâ your eyes snapped up, your eyes met the abyss as a ferocious, crazed grin greeted you.
âit seems you carried over that habit of keeping⊠bad company he mused. although there was a hint of amusement in his radio voice, you knew there was nothing to laugh about.
he sighed before picking up the demons ïżŒdecapitated head by his hair. pushing it toward your face you were forced to smell him.
he pulled his staff- you- closer to the head, your upper body twisted uncomfortably as you were almost nose to nose with you.
a whine left your throat as alastor face came into your peripheral vision.
âwhatâs wrong? i thought you two were in the middle of something! but all means continue, i would hate to intrudeâ
he wasnât talking about tonight. you knew that.
you felt your consciousness slip for a moment, only for a moment as a sharp sting penetrate your skull.
in a moments time the head was gone, but it was replaced by a dreaded sense of dejavĂș.
your brows widened as the face of pure, unadulterated fear contorted onto your face.
his grin only seemed to widen as his eyes crinkled harder.
âit seems someone remembers something. tell me miss y/nâ he leaned closer, some kind of indigenous symbols started to crackle and float around him.
âtell me what you rememberâ he sneered, radio voice growling as his horn stretched out longer than before.
your mouth was dry, yet your tears were bountiful as your bodyâs natural reactions took over.
you were petrified. alastor knew this as you inhaled the intoxicating scent of terror that cling to you like perfume as you struggled to speak.
he hummed in what sounded like disappointment. but you were never sure what he was feeling as that damned smile was always glued on his face. even now.
he stepped away as he dropped your head, luckily your arms were positioned as the perfect pillow for your head to fall onto.
âsince that cat has clearly stolen your tongueâ he mused, briefly looking to the furry body he just⊠exterminated. he got bigger. horns growing even linger from his head, like branches from a tree, his already deformed limbs cracked and snapped like twigs as they went in all they grew longer, and larger in thr wrong directions.
you hadnât thought it possible, but his smile grew larger, sharper as more teeth were revealed. pointy, yellow stained teeth with chunks of flesh and fur still in them smiled at you.
you were scared.
scared for you life-
your soul.
you wanted an escape.
giving up on physical escape meant the only place safe was your mind. yet even there he still resides.
yet his limbs werenât twisted and broken, his voice wasnât shrouded in statics and his hair most certainly wasnât red.
you gasped.
alastor.
his face deepened.
âso youâve rememberedâŠâ
you were shaking, visibly shaking as you saw two of him.
one with full teeth and brown eyes and hair⊠the otherâŠ
monstrous, nightmarish. hell-ish
whyâd you think you could escape him, whyâd you think youâd get mercy in your afterlife, when you didnât revive any in your past life.
you didnât wanna die by the same man twice.
alastor, who could practically read your mind inched his face down further
âdonât worry little one, i do not plan on making the same mistake twice.â like a flicker of a candle his demonic form turned into his human form. though you must have imagined or hallucinated it. as the thing was still there.
yet with each passing moment his horns subdued into his head. his grin downgraded into a smile as the symbols slinked out of existence one by one.
âi was quite⊠emotional back then.â he pet your hair, instantly stopping your shaking. he pretended it wasnât because you were scared stiff.
âi didnât know how to react when i heard you had a midnight rendezvous with the librarians son. it broken my heartâ he sniffles, eyes slowly turning back into red slits.
âit saddened me, woed me to do what i had to do.â he sighed. you felt a punch to your gut as his personality did a compete 180.
âi never wanted to⊠yet you left me in a tricky situationâ he shook his head sadly, palm against his cheek to empathize his sadness.
âbut!â he said, a smile on his face as he pointed up. âi know it wasnât your fault, that boy had been ogling you far too long so i did the only thing i thought that was fitting.â
his free hand opened his palm, showing you a faux image of smoke and mirrors, a woman and a man.
they looked around before they noticed each other. you could tell what their relationship was by how they ran to each other.
before they could reach each other, he crumpled his fist, nails digging into his glove as his slits narrowed.
âi ate you heartâ
â
1-800-662-4357 - addiction hotline.
*as the author I feel obligated to write this : reader is an alcoholic but they canât see that they are. due to having friends struggle with this iâm telling you guys straight out. that reader is addicted to alch so that part isn't up to interpretation. itâs very serious and very isolating, please think about your friends and families before you go down this path. voluntarily or involuntarily. addiction isnât fun or even remotely âcool.â the more serious talks we have about addiction instead of crossing it out as 'something only dirty people do' and start seeing it for the monster it truly is; is the day we will get as a society. although i didnât struggle with alcohol addiction, i was victim to another kind that plagues me to this day, so please take my advice and make smart choices.
this also extends to self destructive behaviors, like what reader is doing
personally, i think alastor is some kind of ace / demiromantic
out of all the things I was gonna write to come back, I never would've thought it was gonna be a hazbin hotel imagine. let alone an alastor x reader one.
#if you guys want more lmkâïž#personally I think alastor is ace#alastor my love#but what is media if not interpretable#if ANY of you are going through something#not just my moots#im always here to talk as I've seen through a thing or two cause ive been through a thing or twođŒ#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#yandere alastor x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor
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hii so ive seen you posting about gming and i just want to ask you if you were anxious early on, and if you were, how you went about overcoming it? i know gming can be fun for me and i have a lot of cool ideas but im scared of like messing up and ruining the game for my players.
hi!!
thank you so much for sending me this!! i've been dm'ing for about a year now but we don't play super regularly so i still feel like a new-ish dm if i'm being honest. i'm still nervous before sessions and am still learning but some of my tips for overcoming anxiety are (note after writing: this got SO LONG sorry i hope it helps!):
-pick the right players: i think when you're starting out it's really important to have players that you trust! i'm really lucky and i play with people i've been friends with for like 10 years so i'm really comfortable around them, but in general try to have players that you trust not to hold mistakes you make (see tip #2) against you. it's easier to just go for it and try some things when you're comfortable around your players
-accept you're going to mess up sometimes: we all make mistakes, especially when you're learning a new skill, which is what dm'ing is. i don't know all the rules by heart, i have to change things halfway through sometimes, i sometimes run a not so great session, and that's just kind of. how it is. not everything's gonna be a banger. for me, it's really nice to address that? like, i recently ran a thing where two pcs were involved in a duel while the other two were just waiting, and they clearly got bored. so when the duel was over, i turned to them, said 'this was boring for you, right?', they said 'yeah' and i nodded and said 'cool, then we won't do it again', made a note of it, and move on. i cannot emphasise how much addressing something i did wrong due to miscalculation (i thought it would be shorter + more interesting for the pcs not involved), acknowledging it was a mistake and that i now know it doesn't work, and then just moving on instead of lingering on it helped in overcoming the anxiety around mistakes was. i tend to linger on my mistakes and by addressing it, i removed both doubt in my mind about how the players felt + doubt in their mind about whether i caught that it just wasn't that interesting, and that gave me the space to simply get on with the parts of the story that are interesting!
-find someone to talk to about your campaign that isn't your players: it's so nice to just braindump to another person sometimes, and this doesn't have to be someone who plays dnd! for the longest time, i would just talk to my mum about it, and simply the act of explaining to someone else what was happening and what i was struggling with helped me solve my own problems!
-prepare as much as you feel is necessary: i see a lot of people warning against over preparing and although you want to try and not railroad your players, preparing is great and in the beginning i prepared a lot! i'm now confident enough to improvise fantasy shots when necessary but i definitely wasn't a year ago and so i would just. make a bar if i knew they were going to an area with bars, and sometimes they wouldn't end up doing shots and i'd just save it. for me, this over preparation helped me feel safe in my own world and i knew there was less chance of me getting surprised (it still happened, it always happens (flashbacks to the barbarian in session 2 deciding she wanted a pet so i had to improvise a full fantasy pet store rip), but by preparing i saved myself a lot of stress)
-use online resources: there are so many blogs, youtube channels, and other things to help you with dm'ing and for me finding info/instructions made me feel more secure! i really like matthew colville, he's got a full playlist called running the game (find it here), which is about learning to dm, it's got 100+ videos and it's amazing. he advocates for using adventures, which i like cause they're a little bit more accessible! you don't have to homebrew if that seems intimidating, just run an adventure, they're just as fun and cool to do!! matthew colville is a good intro, when i have a specific question, i also look at the DM Lair, who has a lot of really focused videos, but i haven't seen that many. in theme with this blog, i also like adventuring academy which is brennan + guest, specifically this one with murph cause they have a beautiful bit where they emphasise that if you have watched dimension 20 you can dm, anyone can do it and i 100% agree. you can do it!! i understand you're nervous but the biggest hurdle (for me, at least) was the first session. the second they laugh at something you said or are creeped out by the haunted mansion you created based on a backstreet boys music video (only normal decisions here), you realise 'oh. this is kind of fun actually'. i'm still nervouse before sessions and a lot of way more experienced dms are too but it's also so fun just try it!! i'd love to hear how it goes!
dm's please reblog with your best tips for overcoming anxiety!!!!
#so sorry for the length i have one mood and its in this essay i will#thank u for the question if you have any more let me know i will try to help in any way i can <3#good luck with dm'ing im rooting for you!!!!#shut up judith
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is this cheesy?
maybe, i cant really say a lot of my writings ever been good in all fairness- i was always taught to only write in ways that appealed to people who lived through a past thats no longer present for me to live in. Write it this way and that- use these words and not those-
arent i just human though?
i guess writing this in a more human or casual way makes it less terrifying- its kinda just a stream of thoughts that's been rushing through my head. and sure my heads wild to listen to already as is- but the more i see things as so tragic nowadays and my views been pushed down to such a negative chapter of this play-
i cant really say its easy being trapped with myself
nowadays we see these changes all over the world but it's blurred and smudged over into a mucky grey
and isn't that annoying too? im an artist- so smudging something that's supposed to be more vibrant into something terrible to look at is just disheartening and disappointing. me myself I've had a lot of emotional shifts as of lately too- been feeling like a rubix cube being knocked around after years of no use.
im getting off track though- even if you didn't know it- man many of these writings are like "life changing" to some people but really it just sounds like im talking to the stars again whether that's on my new roof, on my old balconies at the apartments i used to live in, or the old porch my grandpa built with my mother when i was a child at my childhood home. to me speaking to the stars is just a reflection of myself im speaking to without the harshness of such a pale exhausted face staring back at me.
i mean light years away someone is maybe seeing me through a telescope like we are the beginning of our universe right now and im happy. im happy and not truly aware of the pain and sadness i was feeling yet and i had my brother and a somewhat normal life.
ive always lived so lonely though no matter the amount of cats or animals ive had.
even looking at the stars makes me feel smaller even if it can be so motivating seeing such a big picture thats so close to reach yet so far away. i cant help but be nihilistic and critical can i? dear lord and here i was reading about two vampires loving each other so dearly earlier.
back to the star thing though- i cant help but feel crushed looking at the fading remains of stars we call beautiful cause really all we are are looking at the past when we look up at them. the light hasnt hit our eyes yet in time to be present for them.
and thats really how i feel nowadays- a star in its death that no one can see because the light of the present hasnt truly hit them yet because they are so far from me to even touch. like really it takes 8 seconds for us to see the suns light- but imagine being so far people only see you at the age of 1,000 out of maybe millions of years you have been alive.
and i guess thats why i make myself feel so much hurt and sorrow- to convince myself im truly living and present within my own life and others- to feel like i made SOME impact- anything something nothing everything. i just, cant fathom im here for it all to amount to anything
but really can anyone? then again thats the question we all ask and we always say the same thing to each other
"yes you can!! you already are now!!"
if i have why cant i feel it paving a path within my own stone filled garden??? why cant my roses flutter to life again slowly??
and we all know it takes time but is that time or light ever gonna be able to hit the eyes of others fast enough?
will my death be so near to me or has already happened but no one has seen it yet?
why am i so far away- or are the people i love the ones that are far? why does their light shine so bright just for me to dread knowing its going to dim out at any point without me being able to predict it.
and ya know theres only so many tiktoks you can see on that damn for you page of people just living and sit in your room wondering if youre ever gonna live as much as them.
but are they also living?? i guess my therapist has shown me how to live more then say even a trip outside ever could in just almost 2 years. though living is always a choice for the person within it. i guess it makes the dilemma of people seeing my life much slower then how my death began better right? they see how i chose to live and fulfill myself rather then begin to give up cause i felt my core exploding from immense amount of energy and collisions.
and sure thats sweet to hear but- when is everyone gonna try and live within the present alongside me and how much more do i have to plead and beg and scream and whimper in pain for someone to realize its actually happening??????
ok maybe that got a little dark
but idk- questioning it all might be futile but questioning it can bring awareness so why not ya know?? may as well not be blind even towards myself even if this all feels VERY dramatic and ill probably cringe over it hours later.
imagine lmao
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The One That Got Away (Sonny Carisi x Daughter!Reader) Part 1/2
anonymous inquired:
Hii do you fanfics, imagines for SVU? If so can you do a Sonny x reader where you are his daughter and you try to kill yourself after being raped. The team finds out and hunts the rapist down. If you could make it middle length maybe? Itâs ok if you canât. If you can thank youuu
Trigger Warning(s): mentions of rape, description of rape, suicide attempt, self-harm, language, etc..
Reminder: Spoilers from recent episodes of SVU - so Carisi is ADA now. If you don't like spoilers, please watch/start on Season 22 beforehand. Thank you.
You could still feel the touch of him. How he threw you around like garbage. When you look down at your legs, you see reminders of him. That night was horrifying for you. However, you weren't surprised that you were targeted since you're the daughter of ADA Carisi.
Y/N Carisi - you were born on M/D/Y - having e/c eyes and h/c hair. Despite all that, you grew up near the SVU, so you knew the signs but you felt like you were stupid and deserved this. Like it was meant to happen. You haven't told anyone because you felt ashamed. You know (for a fact) that your dad will literally kill the guy - but you don't want him to risk his job for you.
(POV CHANGE - I/IM/ME/FIRST PERSON)
I came home from school and immediately went to my bedroom. My dad wasn't home yet so I just lay in my bed - and do what I've been doing. I just look at the wall and think. I think about the things I've done, the things I've wanted to do, the things I want to do, and the things that I wanted to do but was too scared to do so.
It's hard being an ADA's daughter because I've seen the threats he's gotten. People have cyberbullied me a lot, which isn't a surprise, but it's still not pleasant. Through my dad, I've felt unsafe because of threats I received - and some of the things that have been done to me.
A few weeks ago, I was raped after my dad won a case. The convicted man's family, who is apart of a mafia, seemed to convey hatred against him. I'm not sure if it's one of them that raped me but I just want to block it out. I want to forget it ever happened but it's not that easy. The past few days have been even harder because the thoughts have gotten worse. My dad knows I struggle with my mental health, in general, but he doesn't know why it's worsened lately. He doesn't know that I've started self-harming again.
It's hard to be alone with all these thoughts - because it's getting harder. I look at the belt nearby and place my hand against the leather. I just want this pain to be gone.
(HOURS LATER; 3RD PERSON POV)
Sonny finally arrived home. He had been trying to get a hold of Y/N but he had no luck. He opened the front door to a silent apartment. He was used to the silence but he felt a different feeling - like something was - like a gut instinct. He knew something was up.
He began to call Y/N's name, "Y/N! Are you home?" Silence. Just pure silence. He looked around the apartment and noticed her backpack on the kitchen counter - so she was home.
He went down the hallway and saw her bedroom door barely shut. He opened the door and he felt his stomach turn. Y/N was hanging from a belt. He rushed to her and unbuckled the belt carefully, so she would fall down, but he grabbed her in time. She placed her on the floor and felt for a pulse. It was weak but she had a pulse.
He took his phone out and dialed 911, before putting the speakerphone on and placing it on the ground. He immediately began chest compressions.
"911, what is your emergency?"
"This is ADA Sonny Carisi of Manhattan. I just came home to my daughter who attempted suicide. Please, send some paramedics and SVU here."
He continued the CPR, "Are there signs of sexual abuse?"
"I don't know but something isn't right. I'm doing CPR right now. Her pulse is weak. Please, hurry."
"Yes sir, just keep doing what you're doing. They're on their way."
Sonny continued to do the compressions, hoping she'd wake up, but she was still unconscious.
"Come on, baby..." He mumbled under his breath, as he continued the compressions.
Minutes went by and the paramedics arrived, along with SVU. They rushed into the house and Sonny stood by, as they began to take her vitals and placed her on a stretcher. Sonny felt like his whole world was turning upside down.
Olivia rushed in there, along with Amanda. "Sonny, what happened?"
"I came home to check on her because she wasn't answering her phone, so when I got here - something felt off and went to her room and found her like this..." He explained, trying to contain his emotions.
"Do you think she was raped?" Amanda questioned, causing Sonny to look down to the ground.
"I don't know but she hasn't been suicidal... I've been with her and something isn't right about this."
Olivia watched them take her out on the stretcher, noticing scratches on her arms, before sighing. Sonny was right. Something was wrong.
Hours had passed and Y/N awoke in a hospital bed, looking around to see her dad and some of his friends. "Dad?"
Sonny immediately rushed to his daughter's side and gave a kiss on her forehead. "How are you, sweetheart?"
She remembered what she did and regret filled her eyes. She placed her palms over her eyes and shook her head. "I'm so sorry, dad..."
"You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N." Sonny assurred but she shook her head, throwing her hands down on the bed.
"I do, I really do, Dad." Y/N sobbed out, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. Sonny looked at her and grabbed her hand, rubbing the back of her hand gently.
"Honey, why are you sorry?" She began to tug at the IV, trying to take it out. Machines began to beep uncontrollably, "You're safe, Y/N!"
"Dad, you're gonna kill me..." She yelled out in hysterics, nurses beginning to barge in.
"Sedate her!" One of the nurses shouted. Sonny was forced to get out of the room as he watched her fight off nurses.
"What happened to my babygirl?"
"Sonny..." Olivia began as she placed a hand on his back. "I think she's been raped or assaulted."
Sonny felt himself becoming numb and in shock. Olivia had it wrong, or did she? It would make a lot of sense, though. The huge question was why? Why would someone hurt his babygirl? That question ran through his mind.
Hours passed by and Sonny anxiously paced the halls of the hospital. Olivia had gone in there to talk with Y/N. Sonny knew he couldn't do it and just knew that she wouldn't talk to him about it. Not yet, at least.
"It's going to be okay, Carisi..." Amanda reassured, standing up after sitting in the chair for some time. "We will figure this all out but you need to sit down, you'll make yourself sick."
"I already feel sick and disgusted. I should've known something was off. I should've taken off work when her behavior started changing but I thought it was just teenage things. We've all gone through it..."
Amanda tightened her lips, biting the inside of her cheek. It was really unfortunate. The creak from the hospital room's door interrupted the two. Olivia came out with a clipboard, approaching Sonny at once. "I need you to sit down, Sonny..."
Sonny knew exactly what Olivia was going to say. Either way, nothing would stop the anger evolving inside of him. He didn't protect his daughter like he was always promised. He was already blaming himself.
"She was raped about a week ago. His identity is unknown but she said he had green eyes, black hair, pale skin, and dressed very neatly - but she mentioned that he said it was a warning for you..."
Sonny curled his eyebrows together, bringing eye contact with Olivia. He began to shook his head, grabbing the sides of his face, burying his face into his lap. "No..."
"She said he supposedly was a relative of a case you beat recently."
Carisi pounded his fist into his legs, screaming out, "Damn it!"
He jumped to his feet immediately, rushing toward the exit of the building, anger overcoming him.
"Sonny, you can't pursue this case!" Olivia yelled through the distance. "I have the authority to arrest you and I don't want to do that..."
He stopped in his tracks, turning to her. "You won't let me pursue this but you pursued your buddy Stabler's wife's case..."
"Excuse me?"
"If you can help your old partner out, then you can have my back on this... Either way, I have a feeling on who this is, and no one's stopping me - not even you."
With that, Carisi rushed out of the hospital building, leaving Olivia speechless. She looked at Amanda and audibly sighed.
Carisi got home and skimmed through each case file thoroughly, especially recent cases.
Brown v. Powell
New York State v. Senator Graham
Little v. Brewster
Jackson v. Gallagher
As he went past the Jackson v. Gallagher file, he pulled up the list of relatives for the Gallagher case (the opposing side). He saw Michael Gallagher. He was 35 and had all the features his daughter reportedly claimed. He clenched his hands into fists for a moment before hearing the doorbell ring. He snapped out of it and went to open the door.
In the pouring rain, Olivia stood there. Carisi found himself surprised but grateful.
"I'm sorry..." She gently apologized as she dug her hands into the pockets of her trenchcoat.
"We don't have time for that. I think I found a suspect..."
Olivia widened her eyes a bit as he led her to his office. He began to explain the case to her, which was complicated but expressed how one of the relatives had been sending threats since the trial completed. In which, we have Michael Gallagher.
"This is good... He looks just like the guy she described. This is a good sign, Sonny." Olivia admitted as she pulled out her phone. "I'm going to have them test Y/Ns DNA samples and possibly other DNA matches as soon as they can."
"Thank you, Liv."
She flashed a sly smile at him before she headed out. However, Sonny wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon, so the night would be interesting.
#sonny carisi#law and order svu#law and order: svu#lawandorder#law and order#law and order svu imagines#carisi#sonny carisi imagine#sonny carisi x reader#detective carisi#ada carisi
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Take good care of my baby
Roger Taylor x Reader
Summary: Roger looses his girl to another man.
Based off the song âtake good care of my babyâ by bobby vee.
My tears are fallin'
'Cause you've taken her away
And though it really hurts me so
There's somethin' that I've got to say
Roger remembered the day when you had confessed to him that you had adopted feelings for another man whilst he was on tour.
His heart shattered and he couldnât form any words, he never thought he would be the one on the other end of the relationship who was heart broken.
âIm sorry Roger but ive fallen for another manâ you had whispered as tears dropped from your eyes.
He sat there for a moment and took it all in, his heart thumped in his chest and he became numb.
He looked up at you with tear filled eyes that matched yours and he could see your guilt and sorrow.
He nodded as softly choked out an âokayâ as he stood up from your shared couch and walked outside to have a smoke, his hands shook as he tried to light the end.
Roger never thought this day would happen, he thought you were the one for him, but for some reason he wasnât angry at the other man or you, he was angry at himself.
He spent so much time away from home even when it was unnecessary. Tour was necessary, the studio was necessary but the partying everynight wasnt at all.
The hardest part for Roger was that none of this was your fault, you didnât cheat on Roger and you didnât kiss the other man whilst with him. You explained everything to Roger and he understood because Roger lacked showing you love physically and emotionally.
Take good care of my baby
Please don't ever make her blue
Just tell her that you love her
Make sure you're thinkin' of her
In everything you say and do
What drove you away from Roger was his interaction with other women, he didnât think of you when he flirted with them or offered them a drink at the bar because he only thought of what he wanted in that moment.
You hadnât told Roger who the man was, he didnât really want to know either because he knew he would compare himself.
Roger wanted this man to keep you happy and never make you upset with the small arguments, always just to work things out peacefully.
He hoped he could do the things Roger never could do for you because you deserved the world.
He wanted this man to show you how much he loved you every minute of the day either physically or emotionally, small gifts and romantic gestures.
He remembered the time your face lit up when he would buy you a bouquet of your favourite flowers or your favourite box of chocolates.
âThese are wonderful!, thank you so muchâ you would gush with a smile on your face as you kissed Roger so passionately.
He loved to see your beautiful smile, the way your eyes would light up with joy, it made his heart flutter against his chest as he grinned back at you.
Oh, take good care of my baby
Now don't you ever make her cry
Just let your love surround her
Paint a rainbow all around her
Don't let her see a cloudy sky
One time Roger came home to you sleeping on the couch in one of his shirts, the collar was still wet from your sadden tears.
His heart broke because he knew that it was because of him, he forgot your anniversary.
He forgot and went out drinking with the boys after the studio and that was also when he talked up another girl.
His eyes drifted to the kitchen where the soft sound of the radio was playing and he found his feet gliding him to it. His heart broke even more when he saw the beautiful set up in the kitchen you had for him.
Although there sat two burned out candles, both plates sat full of Rogers favourite meal that was most likely cold by now. Your favourite wine bottle sat empty on the counter and he noticed his favourite whiskey you had purchased beside it.
He went back to your side at the couch and stroked a fallen piece of hair that was in your face back behind your ear. You stirred a little as you felt his warm touch.
Your sore eyes from crying met with his which startled you a little.
âLove, iâm so sorryâ Roger whispered, his breath smelled strongly of alcohol and a small pink lipstick stain was on his neck.
You let out a small smile at him as you told him that it was okay, you ignored the stain because you didnât want it to be true.
Roger lied, told you that he was hung up in the studio. It hurt your heart to know that he could lie so harshly but you loved him so you went with it.
To this day Roger knew that you knew he lied and he hated himself for it.
Once upon a time
That little girl was mine
If I'd been true
I know she'd never be with you
He wished he could go back in time and change how much he had distanced himself from you.
It had been four months since you left Roger, four months since you went to live with another man, four months where Roger went back to his boyish ways of one night stands with groupies.
He wished you had yelled at him when he stayed out late or when he lied to you because then maybe it would have knocked some sense into him. Maybe him change his ways and give him a warning that if he didnât start acting like he was in a relationship then youâd be gone.
He shouldâve noticed it for himself, he shouldâve loved you properly because you didnât deserve how much he hurt you.
He fucked up royaly but why didnât he feel angry at the other man for taking his girl? or why did he not feel angry at you for not staying true to him? it was because he knew he wasnât good for you, he knew you wouldnât have fallen for someone else if they werenât treating you good.
So, take good care of my baby
Be just as kind as you can be
And if you should discover
That you don't really love her
Just send my baby back home to me
Rogers heart felt heavy as he stepped inside the small local coffee shop you loved.
He went to walk over to the table you guys would always occupy in the corner but he noticed someone sitting there already and he sighed as he searched for another table.
He hoped that the man had made a mistake by believing that he was in love with Rogers girl, maybe he was punishing Roger for being such a shit boyfriend to you.
Maybe he was just dreaming, a terrible nightmare that he wanted to wake up from but he knew that it was reality and it haunted him every day since you left him.
Roger had remembered the day he met you, it was at some shitty science museum that Brian had dragged them along to as they went sightseeing.
Your face at awe as you looked at the exhibitions which made Roger chuckle a little because he found it both adorable and amusing.
Your excited smile made his heart flutter as he glanced at you from time to time, silently thanking you for going the same way as them, but you didnât notice Roger until he got bored and started to cause a scene.
âRoger!â Brian hissed at the blonde as he picked up a fragil display rocketship.
You giggled at the sight of the two man fighting over the small object, the hush of your giggle alerting Roger, making his eyes flick over to your and his actions hult.
Brian sighed in relief to see the blondes attention on something else so he could place the object back in its place safely.
You and Roger held eye contact and you sent him a shy wave with a smile as you were dragged alone by your friends.
Roger felt him self following after you, like he was drifting in a spell. His band mates scoffing at his actions, thinking that he just fancied another girl heâd seen and wanted a shag.
As he followed you stood facing a solar system display as your friends were at the other side of the room, he threw his hand in his pockets and stood beside you.
âInteresting huh?â Roger spoke up which startled you.
You let out a little huff and held your hand to your heart which made Roger chuckle and apologise for scaring you.
âYou must be a starâ he spoke up from beside you again as you both faced the display.
âHuh?â you questioned as you turned to face him, a puzzled look on your features.
âWell the light around you guided me hereâ he tired to smirk but laughed at how adorable your face was when you understood and laughed at his cheesy pick up line.
âYou didnât just use a space pick up line in a space museumâ you laughed with a tut.
Well, take good care of my baby
Be just as kind as you can be
And if you should discover
That you don't really love her
Just send my baby back home to me
Rogers breath hitched as he heard the same laugh in the small shop which knocked him from his day dreaming stage.
He followed the sound and noticed you.
You had joined the man who sat at the same table you and Roger would.
It must be the man you left him for.
You looked beautiful, you always looked beautiful. You laughed at something the unknown man to Roger had said and it made Rogers heart shatter a little and a tear started to prick his eyes.
He shakily let out a breath as he brought the coffee cup up to his lips as he tried not to look over at the table again.
He couldnât help it, he had to look again and when he did he caught your eyes and you sent him a soft smile.
He immediately diverted his eyes somewhere else, feeling embarrassed that he had been caught looking at you, for being caught showing his face again in that cafe that you loved.
He looked up again quickly as he noticed you get up and so did the man whoâs back faced him as he dug through his wallet to receive the cash to pay for your drinks, even fished out a generous amount of coins to leave as a tip for the sweet old woman who owned the cafe.
Oh, take good care of my baby
Well, take good care of my baby
His world collapsed around him as he made eye contact with the man who had taken his girl from him.
He knew this man very well, not personality but from the media.
As he looked at the man the only thing that ran through his mind as they made eye contact was âJust take good care of my babyâ
He sent a little nod to the man and he returned it.
Almost as if they were sending peace to each other.
The last tear that Roger would ever shed for you fell as you walked out of the coffee shop with your new lover. Roger accepted the fact he couldnât go back, that you were no longer his girl.
Roger Taylor maybe have been the love of your life once but George Harrison was your soulmate.
#queen x reader#queen imagines#roger taylor x reader#ben hardy x reader#brian may x reader#george harrison imagine#george harrison x reader#the beatles x reader
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Tagged by the glorious @ellstersmash who makes me feel more loved and included with every tag despite me being a ver smol blog. <3
1) How many works in progress do you have?
Oh. Dear. God. *ahem* Shit. Let me count. 4 DA, 2 longer fic but 1 is almost done and 2 short stories. I use the word short... Loosely. 4 original novels. And at least 4 long ME fics and two drabble but I know I'm forgetting some. I have them all typed on a sticky note on my computer. We'll ballpark it at 15? Mostly long fics.
2) Do you/would you write fanfiction?
I do. I struggle with keeping up on a schedule tho cause when my depression kicks in, and it has a lot this year, I quit writing. Then I feel like a horrible writer for letting readers down and feel like no one will ever trust me as a writer and ill never get a strong reader base and Ughhh. I'm trying to do better but its hard not to give up. At least on sharing them cause Ill still write them.
3) Do you prefer paperback or ebooks?
Paperback all the way. At first I treated ebooks like Satan spawn but I've grown more tolerant. I see the advantage of being able to instantly get a new one or carry lots with you when you need luggage space for other things or to minimize what you carry. But even if I get them in ebook I always eventually get paper.
4) When did you start writing?
The first serious time I recall was... 6th grade so... I was... 13. And it was 2006. I think. Shit I have bad memory.
5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?
I've co-written over 250 stories with my best friend Briana since 2006 when we met. She's the one who really got me into it, where Id only dabbled before. No one but us has seen these and likely ever will XD. Here on Tumblr @skylo-ben and @superb-mediocrity see all my stuff before I post it. First time I've ever had beta readers and I adore them both to pieces.
6) Where is your favorite place to write?
Place doesn't really matter cause when I write the rest of the world goes away. Time doesn't exist. I'm there. But I usually have to have some great music playing way too loud in my headphones. Helps block out outside distractions.
7) Favorite book as a child?
A Wrinkle in Time. Also anything else there. A Wind in the Door. A Swiftly Tilting Planet. Many Waters. Also anything by David Eddings. I loved Elfquest, still do. Hobbit/LOTR. (Are you realizing I can't pick just one?)
8) Writing for fun or for publication?
ÂżPor que no los dos? Seriously tho, I want to eventually write as my job... Whether thats a supported fanfic writer or a published author. I was hoping to use fanfic as practice to get advice on how I could improve when I dive into my original works... But then I realized I have no idea how to market, approach/talk to new people, or generally be part of society. So... That plan has gone stale at least until im in a less stressful environment and have more energy to devote to marketing my works. Instead I'm writing for fun like I always have and always will.
9) Have you taken any writing classes?
One. I mean aside from your typical English 112. (My favorite memory of that hellhole was everyone's faces when I wrote a how to essay on how to perform an emergency tracheotomy). I took creative writing and he gave me a D (no jokes, minds out of gutter) because I can't for the life of me stay under a MAXIMUM word count. Fucker.
10) What inspired you to write?
Ive always lived in a daydream. I was miserable where I was at so Id constantly run away and test theories and ideas through character building and interaction in my head. It was my coping mechanism even if it became unhealthily close to dissociation many times. Eventually it just made sense to start writing it down.
Tagging @ithewriter skylo and superb if you two wanna do this too go ahead.
#just the writer#writer tag game#ellster loves meeee#you can tell how hard it is for me to shut up#even these answers are hella long#my bad#at least no one gave me a max word count#theyd end up twice as long
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