#illicitaffairsseries
Note
I love your fics!! Could you do a Lockwood x reader fanfic for illicit affairs? Like the reader could be related to someone high up in DEPRAC or Fittes and Lockwood doesn’t want people to know they’re tgt bc he’d be accused of trying to get favours or smthin but reader rlly wants ppl to know n is getting fed up with hiding.
A healthy dose of angst would be 10/10 <3
ILLICIT AFFAIRS
pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader
warnings: mentions of sexual themes
summary: you want to make your relationship public, anthony doesn’t. you don’t think you can accept that any longer, but at least for tonight you can
note: i loved this ask!! illicit affairs is one of my favorite songs of ms taylor!! i’ve decided to split it into two parts, just because it feels better for me. part two will be out tomorrow!!
part 2: tomorrow
"why does it matter anyway?" Anthony asked and you could hear the desperation in his voice
"it matters to me, Anthony" you answered calmly, tired of all the fighting you both had done in the past week. it wasn't like you always fought, this wasn't a usual state for your over two year relationship.
you were used to a loving, considerate boy and you knew that he would do anything for you. just not that one thing and that's why it wasn't enough for you.
you continued to fight while you walked around the room, collecting your items of clothing.
"y/n, please" Anthony sat down on his bed "we've been over this, I explained it to you more than a million times"
"I know" you replied tiredly
"let's just not fight anymore" he stood up and brought you close to his body
"okay" you muttered and you hated yourself for always giving in. you just loved him too much to maintain you restrain.
you put on your jacket and walked to the door
"make sure nobody sees you leave" it almost pained him to say what he always said
"no one will see me" it pained you to reply what you always replied
***
you were sitting at the large table in the entrance hall of the house you lived in. you nearly jumped to your feet when you noticed Anthony and his friends walking into the room.
they were led into the hall by your father, the son of Marissa Fittes. that was merely Anthonys problem about your relationship, he didn't want anyone to think he was just dating you for favours, you had told him a million times that that was rubbish and he argued a million times that it would matter. you could never agree on the matter.
you noticed Penelope walk in behind the agency and you felt it was rude to just sit and watch, so you stood up, flowing the material of your dress, as you joined your sisters side.
"I'm sure you've already heard of them, but these are my daughters" your father introduced you both "Penelope and y/n"
you expressed your greeting, Anthony's eyes staying a bit too long on your face. your father cleared his throat and you lost the boy's attention.
“Lockwood and co are our special guests for the ball tonight, that’s the least we could offer, after the job they did for us last year”
there had been a rather big problem in one of the houses your family owned. the haunting had be caused by a scandal, a forbidden relationship that escalated in the walls of the house and led to one of the affair partners dying at the hands of the other. your family had been able to suppress all the runout and stop any information on going out, but they had to get rid of the problem nonetheless.
that had been when your father had found the little three people agency. they had promised to get rid of your problem as quietly as possible. nothing ever got out.
that’s actually how you had met Anthony. because unbeknownst to your father, and not allowed you often spend time in the garden of the haunted mansion. that’s were you had first met Anthony, you remembered it like it had been yesterday
***
you were sitting in the garden, picking flowers. the golden august sun was displaying on your features and warming your skin. your dress was flowing a bit from the wind and your hair would now and then flutter in front of your face
"oh hello" a voice suddenly said, noticing you between the high grown grass
it was a boy, he was about your age and despite the summer heat, he was wearing a suit and a long black coat on top of it
"hi" you smiled, laying your head to the side and further inspecting him. his hair was short, and his skin was light, which made the dark circles under his eyes even more prominent.
“eh— i’m Lockwood, Anthony Lockwood” his hand jolted forward and you shook it while you grinned at him
“n/n” you said “just n/n”
ever since then he had found you intriguing, how you would sit in high grown grass in front of a haunted mansion, peacefully picking flowers. that’s why he loved you, you mostly did the things you did out of pure joy for them.
after your first meeting it seemed that Anthony Lockwood would just not leave your mind. you had found out later that it had been similar to him, always thinking about you in that dress, sitting in a field of flowers.
so you started to meet every few weeks, casually talking on your run to arif’s, or meeting each other on the street. coincidental meetings turned into dates and you spend more and more time with each other.
but as much as you wanted to tell the whole world, Anthony wanted to keep it a secret. even to Lucy and George, you weren’t more than friends to them.
***
“can i come in?” you asked after you had knocked on the door softly. there were some muffled words you couldn’t quite make out, but it sounded like a yes, so you slowly opened the wooden door.
“n/n” Anthony smiled, ushering you into the room he would spent the night in, and closing the door behind you “what are you doing?”
“i wanted to see you” you spoke softly, gripping his tie with both your hands. his hands wandered to your waist almost naturally “and i wanted to ask you if you’d like to accompany to the ball later… maybe we could slip away later”
“it’s a bit risky, don’t you think?”
“isn’t that what makes it fun in the first place?” you brought him down by his tie, his lips meeting yours. you deepened the kiss, walking you backwards and enjoying the control you had over him
Anthony laid on the bed, while you sat on top of him, straddling his waist. “we shouldn’t do this, y/n”
you raised your brows, slipping off your dress, leaving you only in your underwear
“okay, maybe we can be quick”
you giggled and rushed forward, crashing your lips onto his.
maybe you would always give in when he was telling you to, but at least you had the same hold over him, neither one could resist the other and that was part of the dangerous game you were playing.
and you didn’t know it yet, but you were about to lose.
#lockwood and co#anthony lockwood#anthony lockwood x reader#george karim#netflix#ali hadji heshmati#cameron chapman#ghost hunting#ruby stokes#lucy carlyle#forbidden love#secret relationship#illicit affairs#taylor swift#lockwood x reader#anthony bloody lockwood#angst#illicitaffairsseries
163 notes
·
View notes
Text
Illicit Affairs - Part 1
A/N: oh my god another taylor swift song reference??? can u blame me though anyways i hope you enjoy the first part! xx
Summary: You and she both agreed that it was just a whole “Friends with Benefits” some type of thing until you fall for her. You fall so deep that it hurts you to see her being in love with someone else.
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: none for now
Word Count: 2.7 k
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
“We have to stop meeting up like this.” You whispered onto her wet lips as she grips the back of your hair gently, letting out a guttural moan when she slips off your underwear with ease.
“But I can’t stop, baby,” She says it with so much lust that your arousal gets more obvious. “You’re just so pretty, my pretty girl.”
She softly pushes you down on the backseat of her car and lathers her kisses with her mouth – making your hands fly to her back, gripping it tightly; but gently. She opens her eyes and it shone a sense of need and lust. You don’t complain though, you absolutely loved it whenever she looks at you like that.
“We are in the middle of nowhere,” You added but let out a ripped moan when she slapped the inside of your thigh, making her breath hotter against your neck. Natasha wanted you and her somewhere quieter and lonely – she liked the idea of no one else can see you and her anywhere, so that’s why she picked out a spot where no one was around at 12 am.
“I know that, detka.”
After an hour of both of you fucking, you had your head against her damped chest while her fingers trailed leisurely on the side of your arm, making you feel safe with her as always. Both of you stayed like that for quite some time until she said:
“I love it when we’re like this.”
You only smiled, replying: “Yeah?”
She presses her lips against your hair, takes up all the scents that she loves to smell, and whispers, “I love it too much, kotenok. But you know that–”
“I know, Tasha. As friends.”
She hummed in satisfaction and kisses your head once again, squeezing you tightly but tenderly. Natasha liked it when you agree on her terms because she’s always the one who’s in control of everything. You, on the other hand, were the one who’s always agreeing with her sayings. You don’t have much choice though, you weren’t the one who’s in control of her feelings and especially yours.
But as you meet up with her all the time, the unsorted feelings that you have for her are drastically growing. Whenever she kisses you and whispers sweet aftercare words, it makes you tumble over and possibly even fall deeper for the woman who cannot feel that way.
You obviously know why.
When you first met her, it was at a local pub. But, there weren’t many customers anyway. You have just graduated from a state university and you decide to treat yourself – until you met Natasha Romanoff. She had her hair braided on her back, an expensive-looking leather jacket was wrapped all over her while she looked quite drunk but her mind was still not in that phase. You introduced yourself, feeling confident because that’s what you’re trying to work on at that time and she gladly shook your hand.
You and her talked for hours about what course you took and how much she admires you for being so realistic but also idealistic in some sort of way – especially when it comes to love. You were just 24-years-old and she was 38-years-old.
Natasha was a lot older than you, but you didn’t mind that. She treated you like a normal human being and not like some kid, which you do appreciate a lot since everyone treats you like a child.
She invited you to the Avenger’s building once and introduced you to many of her friends, especially Wanda who she is currently in love with.
Not you.
Never you.
“Hey, can we talk?” You looked up and see Natasha leaning in the doorway, her arms crossed but not looking intimidating. You nodded quickly and walked towards her, frowning in confusion.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“I don’t want you to freak out but it’s kind of shocking,” She says slowly and sighs, her eyes deepening towards yours. She continued, “I want to fuck you.”
Oh?
“Natasha,” You choked out as your eyes widen at those 5 words she just said. She said it so simple yet so demanding that you felt your whole body shivering in a good way.
“I want to fuck you, badly. I never thought of this way towards you when we first met but, god you’re so fucking sexy. I can’t help myself,” She steps closer to you until her hands come to the back of your waist, pulling you closer to her. “The way you would wear those skimpy skirts, god I would stare at your silky thighs. I want you.”
Somehow that night she fucked you in her bed with you being left so satisfied. You’ve had a boyfriend and a girlfriend once, but mostly you were comfortable with a touch of a woman instead of a man. And for obvious reasons, you were no longer a virgin – you were not that experienced either since everything you do was all vanilla sex. With Natasha, it was like being in another world of sexual thinking. She took care of you, fucked you like some animal in heat, and then tells you how good you taste or feel.
While you were in bed with her, she whispered: “Can we agree on something?”
Lifting your head as you use your hand for leverage, you replied: “Yeah, what is it?”
It took her a minute to process the words she was about to say and looked at you on her side, “Do you know what Friends with Benefits mean?”
“Of course,” You replied. “W–Why?”
“I want to have that sort of relationship with you that involves no feelings because I don’t feel for you that way,” Ouch, that hurts. “I obviously think of you as my close friend but my libido is too strong when it comes to you. I want to have this agreement, like a contract. To only have sex but stay friends and nothing changes.”
You nodded slowly, letting the words sink in, and smiled brightly at her. “Yeah, why not? It’s not like I’m going to fall in love with you.”
She laughs humorously. “Yeah, not possible.”
Oh how that was such a lie.
“Can you take me home now? Kate is expecting me.”
“Who’s Kate?” She asked and frowned at your tone. You didn’t notice anything different in your tone and replied, “Why are you frowning?”
“Because I don’t know who Kate is.”
“Natty, she’s a really good friend of mine. We both live together, like roommates!”
Natasha looks at you in a different way than you can’t somehow comprehend and nods slowly, looking away and seeing how her jaw clenched. Is she okay?
“Okay, I’ll take you home.” Before she even went back to the front seat, you grabbed her wrist and that made her head turn, looking at you with a frown expression plastered on her face.
“Are you okay? You’re acting weird.”
“Y/N, I'm fine,” She says while removing herself from your touch. “Let me just take you home.”
You did nothing but wore your clothes, get back on the front seat and watch her drive quietly – almost too awkwardly to be honest.
As soon as she parks in front of the house that you live in, she quietly speaks.
“I’m just… I didn’t know you had a new friend.”
“I was supposed to tell you,” You soothed and touch her arm gently. “But you were incredibly busy with your missions, I didn’t want to talk about it – especially when you’re stressed out.”
“But aren’t we friends? Friends tell friends that they have a new friend.” She stated and you rolled your eyes.
“Natasha, you’re acting as if I lied behind your back.”
This time, it was her turn to roll her eyes and gripped the steering wheel tightly. “You didn’t but we are good friends, aren’t we?”
You smiled at her and replied, “Nat, of course, we are. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, do you want to meet her?”
She just shakes her head in irritation and mumbled angrily, “No, thanks. I’ll see you when I can. Please, go now.”
You sighed deeply and got out of her car, watching her drive away with her tire screeching. God, she’s acting like a child! But, why would she act that way? You began walking back to your house and notice that Kate ordered two pizza boxes and waved at you.
“Hey! How’s your lil’ date with Natasha?” She winked playfully and eats a big chunk of her pizza. You met Kate around a cafe because you worked there, she was all new to the surroundings so you gave her a tour until both of you clicked. And now, she’s living with you.
“It’s not a date,” You rolled your eyes playfully and took a bite of the pineapple pizza that was on the table. Man, that’s good. “She just… fucked me in the backseat of her car.”
“You guys are disgusting I mean I never even met her but I think she’s… nice?”
“She is!” You tell her because it was true, Natasha is the kindest person that has ever reached out to you besides Kate. “She’s truly amazing, I find her amazing.”
“Are you like, in love with her?”
You hate how straightforward this bitch was.
“Uh,” You stuttered out your words and closed your mouth, not really knowing how to respond to that. To answer her question, you were. Somehow. Each time she meets up with you sex or no sex, you just keep falling for the woman harder – even though she’ll never know that. Because you had an agreement with her that there were no feelings involved until yours were.
“I guess.”
“You should tell her so that she knows.”
“That’s the thing,” You sighed under your breath and shake your head, feeling this deep kind of sadness inside of you that you can't distinguish. “I can’t tell her. Or else she’ll stop being friends with me.”
“You validate your friendship with her more then, huh?”
You nodded as you were way too tired to speak. Kate pats you on the back gently and continued, “I hope you’ll fall out of love then. I’m not discouraging you though, it’s rather much valid you feel this way. But, I get you.”
You were hopelessly in love with a woman who will never love you the same way, and it crushes you because you don’t know how else to stop this wavering feeling that you have towards Natasha. She never once hurt you in a way that you overthink to yourself, but you’re hurt because she’s in love with someone else – yet fucks you like she’s yours.
Confusing fucking relationship.
You went to bed and call it night.
----------
You were at work rather early today and got your mind off from Natasha, thank god. It was late afternoon and you were just brewing a customer’s coffee until you felt Kate tapping on your shoulder.
“Kate, I am working–”
“I think Natasha is looking for you.”
You abruptly turned to her and almost halt from what you were doing until you realized you were distracted. Sighing, “Is she the redhead one?”
“Yeah, she’s getting impatient.”
“Tell her to wait, I have to make this first.” She nodded quickly and walked out of the scene, leaving you alone to finish the cup of coffee that you’re doing. Once you were finished, you walked back to the counter and saw Natasha standing rather impatiently in front of you – biting her bottom lip.
God, please stop biting your lip.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” She simply said and waves her hand in the air. “I need to talk to you, please?”
You give the coffee to the customer, leave you a tip, and made their way outside. You rolled your eyes in a playful matter as you took off your apron that was currently on your front.
“Natasha, I’m at work.”
“I don’t care,” She replies with a dangerous tone but not to the point it scares you. “You haven’t texted me back. What’s going on?”
“Nothing?” You lied through the back of your teeth and turned around, not facing her.
“If it’s nothing then you would’ve replied to my texts.”
“Natasha, I told you, I am busy.”
She mumbled, “Fine. But I’ll be waiting outside, okay? What time does your shift end?”
“In a few minutes.”
She nodded and walked out of the cafe, leaving you to take a deep breath and continued to do more of your tasks. Kate watches you and mentions, “So that’s her? She’s hot.”
“Uh-huh,” You rolled your eyes again and placed back the dishes on the sink board.
“I think you should go now, I’ll handle this.”
“You sure?” You asked kindly and gives you a nod and erupts a smile on her face. You pat her on the shoulder and followed Natasha to the back of the alley where you two can talk alone.
“Natasha, what’s up?” The older woman leans against the brick wall while her arms are still crossed arrogantly. She sighs, replying: “You have been ignoring me.”
“I think you’ve repeated that way too many times–”
“Y/N, what’s going on? Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry for acting that way last night, I guess I was jealous.”
You’re jealous? Your eyes widen in disbelief, taken back from what she has told you and suddenly you feel your heart thumping loudly in your ear.
“W–Why would you be jealous?”
She sighed again, “You have a new friend. I guess I didn’t want you to spend so much time with her because we are friends, right? Like we’re kind of close.”
“Yes, true,” You said slowly and emphasize the last word from the tip of your tongue. “But, we are fucking. Me and Kate? Totally friends.”
“Right, right,” She chanted under her breath the same word she’s saying and looked back up to you, smiling coyly. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have overreacted.”
“Hey, it’s not a big deal.”
Natasha suddenly pulls you against her body and looks slightly down at you, mostly at your lips. “You’re very kissable right now.”
“Oh…” You whispered – scared to move a tiny bit. God, I love it when you’re this close to me.
“Oh? Baby,” The woman presses her lips gently on yours and pulls away quickly. “I want to fuck you here. So bad.”
“Natasha,” You called her name out while her lips were finally attacking your nape, pulling you much closer as if she’s scared for you to walk away. Pulling back, you whispered, “W–What about Wanda?”
“What about her?” She replied with her eyebrows scrunching at you, her lips trying to find its way to any exposed skin of yours. “She doesn’t know. We aren’t dating.”
“But you love her, right?” Please say you don’t, please say you don’t…
“With my life,” She hotly whispers and closed her eyes, leaning her head back into the brick wall. “She’s too good for me. I don’t know how to be in a relationship, but we do love each other.”
You felt a pan of agony and suddenly your body deflates. She doesn’t notice any difference but you just felt… lonely. The reason for that is because you’re in love with her and she’s not in love with you. And now it just confuses you even more about what this relationship is supposed to be.
Is it just fucking? Is there something more? You go with the first choice.
“Let’s go back to my place?” She asks flirtatiously, you can see the way she smirks at you and it seriously makes you aroused. You nodded and both of you walked to her car, going to her place just to fuck
Just. To. fuck.
She’s not toxic, in fact – she’s far from that in all honesty. But, you hated being the other girl. You want her to be your first choice, not Wanda. And that’s how your jealousy seeps through you because you badly want to be in the witches’ position. You want Natasha to look at you the same way she looks at Wanda.
Although that’s more of like a fantasy. Natasha was right about you, you were very idealistic – especially when it comes to love and you despise that to yourself so much because you’re falling way too deep for a woman that can’t even love you back.
You felt Natasha’s hand holding you, her thumb playing with the back of your hand softly. You watch her as she smiles while watching the road and hear her say: “You’re my favorite person.”
You smiled back, hiding the pain inside of you, and replied: “You’re my favorite person too.”
#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha angst#natasha romanoff#scarlett johansson x reader#natasha romanoff smut#smut#angst with a happy ending#wlw blog#illicitaffairsseries#scarlett johansson
788 notes
·
View notes
Text
ILLICIT AFFAIRS (pt 2)
pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader
warning: mentions of sexual themes, angst
note: there will be another part, because it just fits better that way
summary: you don't have much time left to make your relationship public, will Anthony Lockwood comply?
find part one here
you looked down the hall, making sure no one would see you leave Anthony Lockwoods room. the halls were clear and you quietly closed the door turning around and walking against your sister
“y/n!” she exclaimed surprised
“hey Penny” you smiled, stepping a feet to the left to distract her from the fact that you had just left the room of your boyfriend— or better — secret boyfriend
“what were you doing in Anthony Lockwoods room?” she crossed her arms. you should’ve known that it was to no use to lie so you sighed.
before you could answer, she had looked you up and down, noticing your disheveled hair and clothes, and that one strap of your bra was hanging in the mid of your arm, you pulled it up quickly and blushed under her eyes
“oh” she just said, turning angry in the next second, she tried to step around you and enter his room, to probably cuss him out, but you grabbed her arm before she could do so
“he’s showering” you just muttered. it was to no use to say anything else. what she assumed was right, you didn’t need to lie to her
“and he’s—“
“my boyfriend” you concluded
“i already suspected something was going on, all the sneaking out was quite obvious”
“sorry” you smiled softly “i’m not good at climbing out a window so it had to be the front door”
“well, why didn’t you just tell us?” she didn’t seem as angry as before, maybe hurt
“he didn’t want me to” you shrugged “he thought that if it came out then everyone would think he was just where he was because of me and not because of his skill, also he thinks that our relationship wouldn’t be permitted by you, or more so mum and dad”
“sounds reasonable” Penelope seemed to understand where you were coming from. that’s why you had always gotten along great, but now you noticed the worry. “you know that there’s not much time left, right?”
you nodded, sadly, “that’s what i’ve been trying to tell him. but he won’t let me, he doesn’t like to talk about making us public and i respect that, but”
“but there are certain things that come with being a Fittes”
“yes” your lips curved down as you nodded your head “but there’s some time left, Penny and once i tell him, i think dad would deem Anthony as a rightful husband, once the time comes to get married”
“no” Penelope breathed “you don’t understand, y/n. it’s already too late. you’d have to tell dad tonight or else—“ a shiver ran down your spine as your sister looked to the floor
“what is it?” you asked lowly
“Henry Rottwell, he’s here”
“what?” tears glistened in your eyes, as it felt like you had just lost your footing. you grabbed Penelope’s arm tightly, in fear you would fall down if you’d let go.
“but i’m not even eighteen yet”
“dad wants you to have a long engagement, just like James and i had”
“oh god” you breathed “i have to” you turned your head towards the door, leaving the rest of your sentence unfinished
Penelope nodded “tell him everything and make sure that he knows how urgent the situation is”
“but what if that won’t change anything?”
“it will, if he loves you”
“but what if he doesn’t, what do i do then?”
“as much as that may hurt, then you will accept Henry’s proposal and have a happy marriage with him, maybe even a loving one, one day”
“but is maybe enough?”
“it is” she smiled assuringly “but it will always be worth more to have him say those three words” she pointed at the door and took your shoulders, softly pushing you towards it
you knocked and waited impatiently, while Penelope walked down the long hall.
Anthony’s hair was still wet and his tie untied when the door swung open
“n/n!” he exclaimed surprsised and it was like before your world had began to burn
“hi” you replied softly and Anthony’s face grew worried as he noticed the tears streaming down your face. “can i come in?”
“of course” he stepped aside, waiting until you had settled down on the bed, before he sat down across from you
“what is it, love?”
“Penelope saw me leaving your room”
“oh no” he said, already jumping to a conclusion about the nature of your visit
“that’s not the problem”
“it isn’t? but you do want to talk about it again, don’t you?”
“yes—“
“we’ve been through this, y/n” he sighed “actually we’ve been through this just this morning”
“yeah, but this morning i wasn’t about to be shipped off and get married to Rottwell jr” you replied sarcastically, your anger about the situation taking the better if you
“what?” Anthony asked stunned
“sorry, i—“ you breathed, trying to sort your thoughts “it’s just a lot right now. my father is a fan of arranged marriages. first my brother had one, then my sister and now it’s my turn”
“oh” Anthony said “i knew your family was old—fashioned, but that old—fashioned, really?”
“i thought i had time left, Anthony, i really did. and i know that if i told my father about us, he would eventually accept our relationship and we could get married some day”
“so we’d have to get married in a few months or what?”
“no, we could have a long engagement and get married after i finished college”
“and then what? we buy a nice house, settle down and have children?” your heart fluttered, because you thought that he was warming up to the idea
“yeah, eventually”
“i don’t want that, y/n” Anthony said and you swore that you could feel your heart break in that very moment
“what?” you asked, unsure if you had heard him right
“that’s not the life i want, n/n” he repeated
“that’s not the life you want? or that’s not the life you want with me?” you hoped he would say something, anything, but he kept quiet, which was answer enough
“do you love me, Anthony Lockwood?” you asked standing up from his bed, another set of tears streaming down your cheeks, as you watched his eyes find the floor beneath you. “do you want me to get married to some douchebag and be shipped off to god knows where? do you want that?”
“of course i don’t, but at least you’d have anything you’d need. with a husband like Henry Rottwell, there’s nothing in your way”
“but i don’t want that, i only want you”
“yeah, maybe now”
“not just now, okay? i love you” you started sobbing and your heart broke even more at his expression. he smiled softly, like he was trying to soothe you, like it wasn’t even hard for him
“it’ll go away” he said softly and you looked at him in betrayal
“do you love me?” you repeated the question from earlier and the silence that followed pierced through your heart like a gun that had been fired at you. “i’ll leave you to it then” you muttered quietly and you could’ve sworn that it would’ve taken you longer to leave the room than it actually did, considering all the pieces of your heart, you had to pick off the floor and fit back into your chest.
maybe those pieces just stayed there with him, in this room, in this house that had caused you pain, now that you learned what it felt like to have loved and lost.
maybe Penelope was right and that maybe that you would have with Henry Rottwell would be enough. it probably would never be like what you had with Anthony, but you had no other choice.
at least you knew Henry, he was nice for the most part, a bit pretentious at times, but he was alright and he respected you, at least you would marry a friend and maybe you could even love him some day.
#george karim#lucy carlyle#anthony lockwood x reader#anthony lockwood#lockwood and co#ruby stokes#ghost hunting#cameron chapman#netflix#lockwood netflix#lockwood and co netflix#lockwoodandco#ali hadji heshmati#lockwood x reader#anthony bloody lockwood#taylor swift#illicit affairs#illicitaffairspart2#angst#lockwoodandcoangst#illicitaffairsseries
144 notes
·
View notes
Text
AFTERGLOW (possible ending 1)
pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader
summary: just simply "meet me in the afterglow"
warnings: a bit of angst, but not too much, there's a happy ending!!
notes: tried doing a bit of a transition here, let me know if you got it or if it was way too confusing
-> back to part three
"y/n?" a tender voice called from across the room. you turned around to notice that the speaker had already come closer and was now standing right behind you.
"Anthony" you breathed. you hadn't seen him in a long time. not in real life at least. you had kept up with his work through the newspaper, collecting every article that mentioned him and strolling down portland row any time you were in England.
of course he was still living in his childhood home, even if his agency had become far more successful over the years and he was now owning the two houses right next to number 35.
"I haven't seen you in forever" he smiled and you both looked at each other longingly, but unsure how to greet the other
"it's good to see you" you said softly and even you noticed how his features grew even softer at the recognition of the patience in your voice, that had never left, even if you had been angry with him.
"I heard you that you left England a few years ago, so it's quite the surprise meeting you here"
"I did" you laughed "I went to Harvard, got my degree and originally wanted to stay there, but then the homesickness finally got the better of me"
a month before your wedding you and Henry had decided to end your engagement, it was a mutual decision. you had a long conversation with your parents and they finally accepted that you couldn't go through with what they had in mind for you. the contact had been low for a few years, your parents not being happy with your decisions at first, but as of now, you had been able to rekindle the relationship and they had even come to America to attend your graduation three years ago.
Today, Henry was married to a beautiful girl, a friend of yours that you had introduced to him. even if your somewhat romantic relationship had ended about seven years ago, you and Henry had stayed great friends. he was actually the reason you were here tonight, he wasn't able to make it to this art gala, so he had send you the ticket, keeping in mind how much you loved those.
"what are you up to these days?" you began to walk around mindlessly through the gallery
"a lot of ghost-hunting, still" he laughed "I've got the luxury now that I don't have to take every case, makes me get hurt a lot less."
"that's good to hear! how's George? and Lucy? still by your side, I hope"
"always" he smiled widely "they're still as unbearable and loyal as ever, they're gonna jump out of their socks, once I mention running into you"
"I definitely have to meet them again soon!"
"I mean, if you're finished walking around, you could accompany me home? I was actually planning on leaving before I saw you"
"oh sure, I mean if its alright with you"
"I wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't"
"right" you laughed uncomfortably, before you followed him down the street and sat down in the cab beside him.
"the same old house" Anthony announced loudly, once the both of you had gotten out of the car
"not complaining, I love to see some familiarity, spending so much time away from home was weird"
you both ignored how you had indirectly referred to his place as home, not that it was far off though. you followed him down the hallway, noticing that not much had changed over the years. and there, down in the kitchen were sitting George and Lucy, like they had been frozen in time.
"hello" you waved. Lucy's eyes shined bright in recognition and she quickly got off her chair to hug you, George directly behind her.
"what are you doing back home?" George asked
"yeah, I thought you would stay in America, I mean that's what Lockwood told us you went to-" she interrupted herself at the look that Lockwood was sending her
"that's right, but I finally decided to come back home" you smiled "I kept track off you as well"
"really?" both George and Lucy asked, but Lockwood drowned out both of them "you did?"
"yes, i've read every newspaper article and I saw a few interviews" you looked from one to the other "that's a really great reputation you've built over the years"
"I presume it's all thanks to you" Lockwood smiled and you raised your eyebrows, confused
after your father had retired and Matthew took over the business, you had asked him to keep an eye on the agency of your former boyfriend, invite them to every important event, where they could meet important people and give them the cases that the fittes agency was too busy to take.
"I wouldn't agree" you shook your head
"come on!" George whined "as if anyone had invited us to important meetings if you hadn't told your brother to"
"yeah" Lucy nodded "as if Matthew Fittes would've even known who we are if it wasn't for you"
you shook your head, laughing "I don't know what you're talking about"
later that evening, when George and Lucy had already gone up to their rooms, you sat in the library, still catching up with Lockwood, when it was eventually time to leave.
"it was great seeing you and Lucy and George as well" you smiled
"listen, y/n, what happened back then-"
"you don't have to say anything, Anthony" you said softly "I wasn't your responsibility to save me, alright? I respected your decision then and still do it now"
"maybe it should've been" he muttered and you shook your head
"living a life you didn't want to live? that doesn't seem fair to me"
"I think actually, I would've been a life I loved" he looked down in sadness "I just had to break what I loved the most"
"loved?" you breathed "you told me-"
"I lied, I just thought this whole thing would be better for you.. back then I was without means, I could barely keep the house, I didn't want to share a poor life with you"
"any life I would've shared with you would have been rich, no matter the circumstances" you paused "all I wanted was you, I would've never asked for more than just your love"
"you wanted to get married"
"my father wanted me to get married and I would've married you in a dumpster if that meant not loosing you, not loosing us"
"I really hurt you, y/n"
"you didn't just hurt me, Anthony. you ruined me for anybody else, I don't think that I've been able to love anyone since then, at least not in the way that I loved you. that's what keeps me up at night, every man I meet, has to win against you and that's just not possible"
"we were just children, y/n" he sighed "I saw it on your face back then, as your father announced the engagement and I knew that I was to blame for your pain, but there was nothing I could've given you, the way Henry could've given you things"
"do you see him here with me? Henry, I mean. do you see his ring on my finger?"
"no, but-"
"I mean you knew that we broke off our engagement, right? you must've heard.. somewhere, right?"
"yeah and-"
"why didn't you come find me then? I waited a year longer to start college, just in the hopes that you would come back"
"I thought you didn't want to see me"
"seeing you again was everything i've wanted Anthony" a tear slipped down your cheek
"I'm sorry" he said softly "maybe I could call you some time"
you laughed at his terrible attempt at making a joke "sure" you chuckled "but don't you dare lie to me again when I ask you if you love me"
"ask me right now"
"what?"
"you heard me"
you took a breath "do- do you love me?"
"I do" Anthony breathed and you waited for the priests permission to kiss, before you leaned forward and pressed your lips onto your husbands.
the whole wedding party cheered and you could see Charlotte jump up from her seat at the front, running forward and hugging both your legs. Anthony took your daughter into his arms and you three shared a long hug
"mummy and daddy are finally married, chary" you laughed at her excitement as she squealed at your announcement
you let her down, so she could run back to your mum, while Anthony and you walked down the aisle together, smiling at all the people that had come to see you get married
"fucking finally" George muttered, which made not only Lucy but Matthew and Penelope laugh as well
the proposal had come two years after you had reconnected and shortly after you found out about Charlotte's existence, it had taken you quite some time to finally tie the knot. three years to be exact. Anthony was still leading Lockwood and co and you spent most of your time writing or plucking flowers from your garden. Anthony had surprised you with the little cottage right outside of London, in the countryside. he was still close enough to the agency, but out there in the green, you could raise your children and grow old together.
you had informed in of the irony quite promptly, hadn't he once told you that it was exactly the life, little house outside of the city where you would raise your children, he didn't want.
now everything was finally right. he had told you so himself. and every time you would find his eyes, you were glad that everything turned out how it did.
that evening you spent sitting on your chairs in front of the house, holding each others hands and silently watching the afterglow.
#anthony lockwood#lockwood and co#lucy carlyle#anthony lockwood x reader#george karim#netflix#ali hadji heshmati#cameron chapman#ghost hunting#ruby stokes#illicit affairs#taylor swift#illicitaffairsseries
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
ILLICIT AFFAIRS (part three)
pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader
warning: angst
note: at the end of this part, you will be able to choose your own ending!! and I'm so sorry this took me so long to finish
summary: it's too late, Anthony has made his decision and you're ready to accept your destiny
part one, part two
taglist: @cat-lockwood @theamuz @archiveoftara
not long after your conversation, Penelope had come to your room to help you get ready. she had dried your tears and helped you to slip into another uncomfortable dress, that was so tight, it would hopefully hold you together, at least for tonight.
she had took you into her arms, to show her love and her sympathy, you watched her as she tidied the table and packed away the make-up she had brought, she was the future you had ahead of you.
she had married James years ago, and you loved him like he was your real brother. you knew that Penelope loved him now too. maybe you could love Henry one day.
"ready?" your sister asked softly, studying your form. before you could answer, there was a knock at the door, you rose to your feet as your face lightened up and Penelope watched your expression change, when it was only James in front of the door.
she swore her heart broke a little for you.
she watched as James hugged you and you seemed to find a little bit of peace in the arms of a man you had looked up to for so long, even if it wasn't the one you had been wishing for.
you walked into your bathroom to get your purse as Penelope and James talked quietly in the other room
"how is she?" Penelope had told her husband what had happened about an hour before
"one moment she seems like she is fine, and then I watch her face get hopeful at the mere thought that he might change his mind"
"he won't, will he?"
Penelope shrugged "I don't know him. she showed me a few photos and talked about him highly, but does he really love her if he lets her suffer like that?"
"I don't know" James showed her a high lipped smile "maybe he thinks that's best for her, I mean I didn't always knew it, but I know that you're best for me, maybe she will experience the same with Henry some day"
"hopefully" Penelope nodded
you walked back into the room and send them both a big smile, that was even faker then londons claim to solve the problem until next year. "can we?" you asked and James and Penelope send each other a look, that you missed because you had already walked to the door, waiting on them to follow you downstairs.
"where's Matthew?" you asked as you three walked down the hallway. normally your brother would be joined by his wife, Sarah. but she was heavily pregnant, so he would be attending alone this year
"probably already downstairs, he wanted to see your earlier, but I thought you had enough on your plate then"
"thank you" you send her a tight lipped smile, which she couldn't quiet tell was real.
"oh my beautiful daughters, evening James" your father greeted upon your arrival in one of the private family rooms.
you smiled at your family, no one really noticed that you tried your best to hold back tears.
“y/n! hello” your brother stepped forward and engulfed you in a hug. you broke it as fast as possible nearly breaking down in the comforting arms.
your brother looked at you weird, but before he could say something else, your mother had replaced him, inspecting your dress. “an old one of Penelope? beautiful my dear” she nodded approvingly and you turned to look at your sister, who smiled in relief.
“sha’ll we?” your father outstretched his arm, so your mother could take it. James and Penelope did the same and Matthew stepped next to your side.
“if it’s alright if i’m bringing you out tonight?”
you smiled, gladly taking his offer, you felt like you needed somebody next to you tonight.
your family walked down the hallway and down the stairs. “i know something’s bothering you, y/n”
despite you having a rather big age difference to your siblings - 7 years to Penelope and 9 years to Matthew - you three had always been close. and each one of you could tell when something was wrong with one of your siblings.
“yeah, actually” you smiled bitterly, trying to bite back the tears “i’m supposed to get engaged tonight”
“what?” exclaimed Matthew loudly, stopping in the middle of the way. to your luck, your family didn’t notice that.
“it’s alright”
Matthew shook his head “no it’s not! you’re way too young and by the time it would be your turn i would’ve been able to convince dad that you wouldn’t have to go through with it”
you smiled at him, sadly. “oh, matty” you gulped “you would do that for me? even if it would be totally unfair to you and Penelope? you had to go through with it, why shouldn’t i?”
“because i don’t want this for you, n/n. i hope that you’ll be able to make your own decisions once the time comes, and surely not when you’re barely seventeen.”
“it’s not that bad, Matthew. it’s gonna be Henry Rottwell, i know him”
“yeah, but do you love him?”
you and Matthew had begun to walk again, quickly catching up to your family
“no, not him”
“not him?”
“it doesn’t matter, it’s over and too late anyway”
"you know, you can tell me anything, right?"
you just nodded and Matthew sighed, accepting the fact that you wouldn't lose another word about what or better, who was bothering you.
"good evening" your father said loudly as your family entered the big ball room. the guests cheered upon your arrival and you looked around the room, trying to find Anthony, you weren't able though.
the party had been going on for a few hours, you mostly had spent it in your siblings company, not keen on talking to any strange people tonight.
it was then, that your father wanted to talk to you in another room. Henry Rottwell was there when you entered and you knew what was about to happen.
"hey" Henry smiled upon your arrival. you returned the sentiment and sat down beside him in front of your fathers desk.
"I presume I don't have to tell you, why you're here, y/n"
"no" you shook your head and your father smiled
"alright" he nodded in Henry's direction. "you can proceed, mr Rotwell"
you knew how these things took place, your siblings had told you enough already, it was always the male part of the relationship, who would ask for the hand in marriage in front of both the daughter and father of the other family.
"thank you, mr Fittes" Henry turned to look at you "you already know why I'm here, y/n. our families decided that we would make a great match. we will have beautiful children and unite two of the most important families in England. what do you say, will you marry me?"
you turned your head and looked at your father "we've already talked about the details, you will get married in august, we will start preparing right after you've finished school"
"so soon?"
"don't be afraid" Henry smiled friendly "I promise I will be a good husband"
"I don't doubt that" you shook your head "I had just hoped, to finish college before we-"
"college?" your father laughed at you and never in your life had you felt smaller
Henry send you a look and you could tell from his eyes how much he was dreading this, he seemed to have a lot of sympathy for your situation, born into such a powerful family and being a woman.
"that's ridiculous, y/n" your father finally spoke "what do you need a degree for? you both could live a comfortable life from the marriage portion alone and some day Henry will take over his fathers agency"
"and what about me?" you asked, already feeling the tears coming, Henry grabbed your hand and even if you wanted to do anything else in the world, you were happy to have him at your side
"you will bear and raise your children of course, now please, that's enough. do you accept his proposal?"
you knew that there was no sense in saying no, so you turned to look at Henry, who send you such a boyish smile, that you nearly forgot all the worries in the world
"I accept your proposal"
"terrific!" your father cheered. he got up from his chair and hugged you and shook Henry's hand. "follow me, children, we will announce the news immediately.
you followed him down the hall. Henry squeezed your hands three times, which made you look up at him. "everything's gonna be alright, I promise"
you nodded, just wishing this night to be over, so you could spend it crying yourself to sleep.
"dear guests!" your father said loudly, gathering the attention of everyone in the huge ballroom "I'm happy to announce my youngest daughters engagement to Henry Rotwell" the people cheered and you smiled uncomfortably
you nearly collapsed when you found his eyes for the first time this evening. he looked so deeply saddened at the news and you gulped. it wasn't like you had broken up with him. he could've had you, if only he wanted it.
so you forced yourself to look away and smile through the pain, just hoping that it would go away some day.
CHOOSE YOUR ENDING:
X CLOSURE
"yes, I got your letter, yes, I'm doing better. I know that it's over,
I don't need your closure"
X AFTERGLOW
"It's all me, just don't go, meet me in the afterglow"
#lockwood and co#anthony lockwood#lucy carlyle#george karim#anthony lockwood x reader#ruby stokes#cameron chapman#netflix#ali hadji heshmati#ghost hunting#lockwoodandco#anthony lockwood imagine#illicit affairs#illicitaffairspart2#taylor swift#illicitaffairsseries
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
CLOSURE (possible ending 2)
pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader, Henry Rotwell x reader
summary: "yes I got your letter, yes I'm doing better. I know that it's over, I don't need your closure"
warning: a bit of angst but a happy end for both of our main characters!!
-> back to part three
"y/n?" a tender voice called from across the room. you turned around to notice that the speaker had already come closer and was now standing right behind you.
"Anthony" you breathed. you hadn't seen him in a long time. not in real life at least. you had kept up with his work through the newspaper, collecting every article that mentioned him and strolling down portland row any time you were in England.
"it's nice to see you" he breathed and looked down at the girl that was tightly gripping your hand. he bend down "and who are you?" he asked softly
"that's Gracie" you answered on behalf of your daughter "she's really shy"
"oh, that's alright" Anthony smiled "I'm Anthony"
"it's good to see you as well, Anthony" the man looked up to you and got back onto his feet. "how are you doing, y/n?"
the years had gone by in a brief, you could barely make out the ten years of life that had passed on his face. today he was as successful as ever, building a big agency that had gotten more and more successful over the years, without ever losing an agent or producing bad headlines.
you had finished school and got married to Henry two months after. you had went to college, after Henry had talked your father into it. Henry had kept every promise he had ever made and you couldn't ask for a better husband. you loved him endlessly and he always expressed his gratitude to you for gifting him your three beautiful children: two boys and a girl: Liam, Noah and Gracie.
being married to Henry had been way more beautiful than you had ever expected it to be. he was patient, loving and a great father. he never left you alone when you needed him most and he made everything possible that your father had kept you from for so long. being married to Henry hadn't been a limitation but more freedom than you had ever been able to enjoy before.
of course there were times where you wondered, how your life had been if you had ended up with Anthony. it wasn't that you weren't happy how your life was, but everyone tend to wonder, right?
before you and Henry had gotten married, you had sent Anthony at least a thousand letters, you wanted to make sure that he really didn't want you. you never received an answer, not until two years ago. you had never opened his letter, scared of what he was gonna write.
you had matured a lot, at that point it had been more than nine years to your last letter, the night before you got married. and back then you would’ve probably thrown yourself down a cliff for that letter, but at the time it came, you had been pregnant with Gracie and very much happy with how your life turned out, so happy indeed that you decided that you didn't need a single world from him to leave him behind you and that everything was good as it was.
Henry entered your field of vision and you send Gracie off to her father, so that you could talk to Anthony in private.
"did you get my letter? you didn't answer, so I wasn't sure if I got the right address"
"you really have some nerves"
"what are you talking about?"
"I send you literally a thousand of them and you never replied to any, alright fine for me, but don't expect that i read whatever you had to say to me"
"I'm sorry that I didn't answer you sooner, it took me years until I was able to read them, and then I replied"
"you know what? it's alright Anthony, I left that anger behind me long ago"
"I know, I just-" he paused, searching for the right words "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am, for what I did to you. back then I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go, but after I read your letter.. it just, it destroyed me, especially because in my memory, you were still this sixteen year old girl I had left and let down. and it killed me to know that it was me who you trusted most in this world.. these letters, they were brutal, y/n"
"then you can imagine how I must've felt" you shook your head "I'm happy now, and maybe some day I can read what you wrote, but no just yet, okay?"
"you kept it"
"of course"
"I thought you had thrown it away by how you reacted just now"
"I don't want to be angry anymore, I was sad for such a long time and then so bitter and angry, that was unfair, especially for Henry. but you were a child back then as well and I shouldn't have expected for you to handle this mess"
"oh, y/n"
you smiled softly and he felt liked he was about to cry at you words "I loved you back then, you were my whole world, but Henry? he means even more to me. back then I wouldn't have thought that to be possible, but it was. I think there will always be a part of me who loves you, but that’s just the sentimental little girl who used to wish for familiarity, and now, I think she's finally gone, because you aren't familiar to me anymore"
he nodded at your words "I understand" he stepped back "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about everything"
"I appreciate that, I'm sorry as well, I shouldn't have been angry at you. like I said before, it wasn't your responsibility to save me in any way. we were so young, weren't we?"
"yeah" he laughed "young and in love" the guilt brushed over his face "sorry for mentioning it, but I just wanted you to know"
"I knew, Anthony" he raised his eyebrows "that's why you let me go, because you did love me, I just didn't understand that back then, so thank you" you paused "and to answer your earlier question: I'm doing better, amazing actually and from what I heard, you're doing more than good yourself"
he nodded, still stunned that you had known all this time "y-yeah" he stuttered "I have been able to expand the agency"
"that's good to hear"
"yeah"
"I don't know if I ever will open you letter, but just so you know, we're on good terms, okay? we grew up and moved on, but I will always care about your wellbeing and happiness, I just don't think I can be there all the time, but do give me a call once in a while, yeah?"
"I can only say the same" he smiled "I promise that I'll call once in a while"
"thank you" he turned to walk away, but you called his name one last time "just- I always thought I needed to see you again, or receive a letter back to finally get over you. I know now that I didn't need that, but thank you for talking with me"
"always" he smiled, taped his invisible hat and walked away
your eyes stayed on the man for a few more seconds. the man you had once thought hung the moon, it took a lot in you to realise that he had only been human too and you had expected far too much from him.
you watched as he exited the halls of your family's manor, in which he had broken your heart all these years ago. you noticed the familiarity in his walk, the way he moved his arms and of course his smile and the glistening in his eyes. but now it seemed to you like those little things had always been excuses to escape into your daydreams.
you had actually loved him. but love wasn't an individual case and all his familiarity had at one time turned foreign to you. the way he brushed past the people, how he looked so grown and how his eyes didn't seem to think you were the most beautiful thing in the world anymore.
and it was okay, outgrowing him meant that your relationship had at one time been so special, that you had never thought it would be possible.
but here you were, realising that it wasn't him, that you needed to get over everything, in your mind it was just yourself, holding onto a boy you had known such a long time ago. the man from moments ago was proof enough that it was time to say goodbye to the boy that had occupied your memories far too long.
"everything alright, sweetheart?" Henry was suddenly next to you and handed you Gracie, who was outstretching her little arms to finally be in her mummy's hold again.
you send one final look to the door "everything is just fine" you replied before you followed your family back to your table.
you actually never opened his letter, even if you had kept it in a little box from your youth, like a sentiment you would always have to need, you never actually did though.
Anthony called from time to time and you always spent at least a few minutes catching up.
it always made you happy to speak with him, tell him how your kids were doing and the newest painting you had drawn, he told you about George and Lucy, about the agency and how he loved what he was doing.
you were happy and you didn't miss him. you once needed him, but you didn't anymore, it seemed like it was the same for him. all along you thought that it was him who would be able to give you the conclusion you so deeply longed for, but you had been wrong, you didn't need him for that, you could do it on your own.
and the moment you realised that, was the moment you finally gained closure.
#lockwood and co#anthony lockwood x reader#lucy carlyle#anthony lockwood#netflix#george karim#cameron chapman#ali hadji heshmati#ghost hunting#ruby stokes#lockwoodandco#anthony lockwood imagine#illicit affairs#illicitaffairsseries
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Illicit Affairs - Part 2
A/N: oh my god i am so sorry for not updating, i’ve been lazy and busy but this part is a little short? i think lol but i still hope you enjoy!
Summary: You and she both agreed that it was just a whole “Friends with Benefits” some type of thing until you fall for her. You fall so deep that it hurts you to see her being in love with someone else.
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: smut; pet names; that’s all?
Word Count: 2.76 k
Taglist: @karmsgxrl @thatonebrazilian @d14n4ol @strangegardentaco @lainjupi @19jammmy @how-to-disappearrr @yeux-sur-la-lune @bepisbeansprouts
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
not my gif!
It’s officially been two weeks since the last time you saw or even talked to Natasha – for two reasons. One, your feelings increase more than it shouldn’t. Second, she was extremely busy due to an emergency at the Avengers or some sort.
The woman liked it whenever you’re clingy, so that means she expects a message every day from you; until you actually don’t message her. You were reading your book at night in your bed until you hear the vibration of your phone on the nightstand.
Groaning, you grabbed the electronic device and saw 5 messages from the woman. I love playing this type of game.
Natasha: I hate it when you don’t text back.
Natasha: Are you busy?
Natasha: I know I’ve been very busy, kotenok. But, I appreciate a single message from you.
Natasha: send me a voice message?
Natasha: Getting impatient.
You giggled and find it adorable when she’s the one who is the clingiest of the both of you. Sighing out of laughter, you placed your phone back on the nightstand and continued reading your book.
You’re reading this book called Normal People and it kind of defines your relationship with Natasha – somehow. It was just all about sex, nothing more than that. Although you are loath to think that she’s using you for it, you don’t think so anyway.
Feeling tired, you decided to put your book away, and time to go to bed, excited for more messages that Natasha will send to you.
The moment you rise from your sleep, you immediately grab your phone to check the messages that your friend has sent you. To your surprise, it was a lot.
Natasha: I’ve been very horny for you.
Natasha: I know you’re awake, message me right now or you’ll regret it.
Natasha: That’s it, I’m calling you.
*missed 4 calls from Natasha*
You typed your fingers on the device and replied:
You: heyy:( sorry, i just woke up and i’ve also been reading for the whole night. X
Natasha: Kotenok, you should get better at replying to me. You know I hate it when you disobey.
She knows what she’s doing. You thought to yourself and sent a picture of you in bed, your comforter shielding your body away in the picture.
Not even 30 seconds later she replied:
Natasha: Teasing me, princess? Send me your titties I want to see them.
You: Demanding much? No, I have to go to work.
Natasha: Absolutely not, darling. You’re mine for the whole day. Go look at your front door.
“What?” You wondered to yourself and got onto your feet, rushing towards the front door quietly – so that Kate wouldn’t wake up, and opened it. Your eyes widen at the woman who has been standing outside for god knows how long.
“Hi, detka,” She smiles politely and kisses your forehead with gentleness in it. You felt your heart and stomach fluttering at the gesture. “Did you miss me?”
“Of course I did,” You added while you got comfortable on her chest. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Not too long, I just wanted to surprise you that’s–”
“So are you two together?” Kate, I love you, but you’re ruining the moment. You turn your head and your attention span was on your friend.
“Uh–”
“No,” Natasha interjected with quietness in her tone. “We–We aren’t together. Y/N is a special friend.”
Kate squints her eyes seemingly and gives an “ah” sound, her eyes averted back to you and slowly smirks. You feel Natasha’s hand linger on your waist and pull you dangerously close to her.
“I made mac n’ cheese,” Kate says awkwardly while bringing her fingers on the back of her neck. “Poor Natasha, Y/N hasn’t let her in. Go on roomie, your guest must be itching to go inside of our humble abode.”
Chuckling, you brought Natasha inside of your cozy home with your hand intertwined with hers – feeling the gush of excitement firing to your loins. You sat beside her on a small circular dining table as Kate brought two small ceramic bowls of mac n’ cheese, the sight of the smoke filling the air.
“This looks good,” You added while munching on the food with your mouth boiling, making you blow out the hot air from your lips. Natasha giggled from the sight. Can this woman stop giving me butterflies in my stomach?
After a quick breakfast at your house, Natasha brings you back to her little apartment at Manhattan Square, feeling energetic or some sort. You’ve lost count of how many times she has brought you to the same apartment she lives in, and you wonder how it still feels like the first time going in.
Her apartment was small but very spacious. There was a single long white couch and across from it was just a normal screen TV that was on the wall – not big and not too small. Alongside that, there was a small dining table that has two chairs only across from each other. You think of how lonely her apartment was, it was like seeing a dead person’s house.
You were so out of your mind that you feel Natasha’s lips grazing against your naked neck, nipping at the skin gently as possible – making you let out a strangled moan that she always loves to hear over and over again.
“God, I’ve missed you,” She dangerously whispered at the back of your ear and firmly grabbed your hips to pull her against you, your buttocks were pressed against her pelvis tightly.
“Natty,” You breathed out – earning a hum from your friend.
“My little kotenok, always so desperate for me,” Her hands were now on both of your breasts and gives them a tight squeeze. “I can’t stop thinking about these naughty thoughts, you’re just so fucking pretty whenever you’re all submissive for me. It’s pathetic.”
Dirty talking was nothing new for Natasha, she was gladly an expert through it. She loves saying those nasty things that could keep you up all night and you loved every bit of it, if not, addicted to it. You feel her hips begin to roll against your body and softly push you on the couch, your front falling on the cushions.
Her lips possessively attack your back, your clothes and panties were already discarded from her hands that seemed to not get off you. She roughly palms both of your cheeks and slaps the other side with a loud smack!
“Oh, god!” You yelped in pleasure.
“Do you want to disrespect me again, little one?”
Smack!
“No,” You whispered while you feel your left cheek very warm. “I won’t disrespect you anymore. I’ll be such a good girl, I promise, Natty!”
She smirked, appreciating the sight behold her twinkling green eyes as she kneads onto your ass softly but aggressively; the possessiveness taking over her.
She takes off her tight pants along with her black lacey underwear, and your whole bottom was in between her legs. Is she going to hump me?
“I want you to stay quiet or else I’ll stop,” She threatened while kissing your neck softly, letting out a moan. “And stay still. Mommy will take good care of you.”
She thrusts into your ass with a loud guttural moan that made you even more aroused than ever. You hold onto the cushions tightly, your knuckles are turning white from the pressure as she leans her front closer to you, her head in your neck as you feel her pant against your skin.
“Such a good fucking girl, huh? Do you love it when mommy takes you like this, you little slut?”
You just nodded, you were too stunned to speak. And if you did, you’ll get another smack from your friend which you don’t complain but you love it when she grinds down onto you like some maniac in heat.
“Be a good girl and come for me, come on,” She begged while her hips are thrusting on you quicker than before. Her fingers are digging down onto your pussy. “You are so hot, come for me.”
----------
“When’s your next mission?” You asked timidly while playing with the strand of her hair, looking at her green eyes that shined through the light outside of her room.
“In a month, I’m assuming,” She replies with a small smile on her gorgeous face. She’s so beautiful and I’m just nothing to her. “We can go have dinner tomorrow? I’m not free today, Wanda is inviting me to the building.”
Your heart fell as you heard the woman’s name that came out from her lips. It’s not that you despise the Witch, in fact – you damn wished that it should be you other than her because what can you not give that she gives to Natasha? Your body and friendship is the only thing that Natasha wants from you.
Not you, not your love, nothing romantically.
And it fucking hurts like a bitch.
“Oh,” You said flatly while sighing. “Have fun, I guess.”
She felt your disheartened reply and shakes you a little until your eyes went back to hers. “That wasn’t a nice response, are you okay?”
“Y–Yeah!” You said with a nervous reply, suddenly feeling your back with sweat. You’re literally the dumbest person ever, Y/N. “Sorry, I was very dozed off. Of course, I understand, tell me all about it once you come home later.”
“Okay,” She said, convincing herself that there was nothing wrong, and kissed your hair tenderly with her soft lips. “You know, we should go out sometime. As friends, of course.”
You just feel like your soul has just left your body whenever she keeps bringing up her friendship with you. This is what you hate most about yourself, you’re falling for someone who you could never have. Natasha sees you as this person in the most platonic way but your eyes speak with feelings. Undeniable feelings for her – and it’s ridiculous how she can’t see that, she’s a spy.
“Why not,” You whispered and kiss her chest and earned a satisfied hum from Natasha, who’s holding you tightly from her embrace.
“I love you, Y/N. You are definitely my favorite person than everyone else.”
I wish I was yours completely.
You are currently back home after a quick hang out with Natasha – who wouldn’t shut up about Wanda – and you finally thank the heavens that you’re in bed at peace, until Kate fucking Bishop bursts into your room like some kind of psycho.
“Your hickeys are so obvious, please cover them up!” You laughed audibly and watch your friend flop on the mattress beside you, feeling it dip. Kate lifts her head up and uses her elbow as her leverage on the bed, looking at you with her signature squinted eyes.
“So, what happened there?”
You laughed again, “What do you mean?”
“With Natasha you dumb fuck.”
“Oh,” You tilt your head a little and tap your chin with the tip of your finger. Sighing, you replied: “We had sex.”
“And?”
“And that’s all,” You said, lifting your eyebrows in confusion. “What else is there?”
Kate laughs at how confused you were that she almost fell off the bed. My god why am I friends with her. “You did not seduce her?”
“I mean–”
“If you really like the woman you should! Do you love her?”
You didn’t hesitate to answer that question. “Yes, I do, frankly.”
“Then seduce her,” She tells you while sitting up on the mattress, making yourself be in the same position as her. “Send her like a nude pic, tease her. Oh and also, flirt with everyone, especially when it's someone specific.”
You felt awfully dumb because this has never crossed your mind once, ONCE. And here’s Kate being more of a smartass than you, it makes you cringe to yourself but she was right. If you love someone, you have to get them to love you back. It feels too childish, but you like it. You like childish shit.
I hate myself but whatever.
“You have a point,” You sighed and hold your ankles with both of your hands. “I don’t take nudes… I’ll try though, plus I don’t think she’ll appreciate that.”
Kate snickered, “Um, I think she would. Have you seen the way she looks at you? It’s so lustful and devouring… I don’t know, it looks like she’s looking at you the same way you look at her.
You tilt your head once again and furrow your eyebrows. She was looking at you in a different way? You were quite taken back by her comment that you almost lost your balance.
“Really?” You asked in disbelief.
“Yeah,” Kate said in an obvious matter, waving her hands in the air. “You’re just so blind, so I do think she’ll like that. And I promise you by the end of the day, you’re hers.”
What if it doesn’t work? What if she still doesn’t want you? Of course, you want to do it naturally because it’s healthier that way so you decide not to seduce her that much. If she wants you, she’ll find her way to want you. But you need to get the span of her attention of course.
“You’re quite smart.” You remarked while playing with your nails, a bad habit.
“I know.”
You and Kate hung out for the rest of the night, talking about how it was going to be planned, and watched a movie that didn’t make sense to the both of you.
----------
At 2 in the morning, you were in deep sleep that you didn’t hear your phone buzzing on your nightstand. You woke up groggily and grabbed your phone, the light making your eyes squint.
You see one message from Natasha and your heart suddenly felt warm.
Natasha: Has anyone told you that you’re the prettiest girl in the world? You should hear that every day and every minute, you deserve it.
Quickly, you typed on your phone and hit send:
You: are you drunk texting?
Natasha: Of course not, my darling. I meant every word I said, kotenok.
Your thoughts wandered if Natasha did like you, just a tiny bit, but you hated being the idealistic person you are. Although we don’t lose faith, right? Your quiet laugh died down until you felt your phone buzzing again, making you more awake.
Natasha: I had sex with Wanda.
Oh.
You clenched your throat and feel your eyes begin to water as you placed your phone back onto the nightstand, your body suddenly feeling heavy from what she has said. You never thought that this was a very painful feeling, especially from a woman who never feels for you the way you do. You let out a very quiet sob, rethinking the words she has typed out. I had sex with Wanda. I had sex with Wanda. I had sex with Wanda.
You’re a total loser for being so incredibly in love with Natasha. It’s like this one scenario when there’s a popular person in school and you’re that nerdy loser who’s in love with the popular girl or something. It’s pretty cliche, not going to lie, but you’re in that position in life right now.
Falling in love was so different because it was just only you who was playing the game, she was never in it. So, in general, that’s technically your fault – not hers. But, how can you not fall in love with a person who treated you like a person?
The next morning, you never bothered opening your phone. You just kept going on your day as if nothing happened. Kate noticed how quiet you were throughout the morning and didn’t talk to you much, considering you probably need to be alone. It was a cool morning, the coldness hits on your skin perfectly well as you took a walk outside of your house, getting your mind completely off Natasha. You see two to three people alongside you, watching a couple having their arms wrapped around each other that makes you want to gag.
Going to your local coffee shop, you can’t believe who you just saw.
Wanda and Natasha, on the line, hand in hand.
This day could get any worse.
#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha angst#natasha romanoff#black widow x reader#natasha x reader#illicitaffairsseries#wandanat#smut#wlw blog#gayism#angst with a happy ending#smut and angst#smut and fluff#scarlett johansson x reader
698 notes
·
View notes
Text
Illicit Affairs - Part 5
A/N: so sorry for not updating, and this part seems too short. I’ll do my best to make them longer :)
Summary: You and she both agreed that it was just a whole “Friends with Benefits” some type of thing until you fall for her. You fall so deep that it hurts you to see her being in love with someone else.
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: slight angst
Word Count: 2.6k
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
so on...
Taglist: @karmsgxrl @thatonebrazilian @d14n4ol @strangegardentaco @lainjupi @19jammmy @how-to-disappearrr @yeux-sur-la-lune @bepisbeansprouts @nowthisisliving27 @sojo154 @splatashaizgay @swiftdazer @i-m-r-borges @wandanatvoid @yeux-sur-la-lune @padmeswife @clex99 @how-to-disappearrr @333hhm
“Once?” You mentioned with a vague hurt in your tone, her eyes immediately soften towards you. She shakes her head slowly and reaches for your hand that it couldn’t seem to lift itself up. You shook away from the woman and Natasha was taken back by your action. You didn’t want to be held by her right now, you don’t even want to look at her, you felt embarrassed even.
“Y/N, let me explain please–”
“I don’t need your explanation, you’ve said enough,” You muttered and turned away from the woman, walking away as if nothing happened. She reaches for you and you try to grasp away from her touch, although she was too strong.
“You have to let me explain or we could never work this out,” Natasha begged and puts both of her hands on your upper arm tightly – but not to the point it would hurt you, she knows her limits when it comes to that. “Y/N, I don’t know how to explain this to you but if you could give me–”
“Y/N! Your boss is calling you,” My friend from work, Peter, who is standing meters away from me and is looking at me with terrified eyes. Yes, it is Peter Parker that you’ve met at your house. You and him both work together.
“Okay, I’ll be there,” You quickly responded and reattract your wrist away from her touch, looking at her with an apologetic look. She nods, understanding that you needed to go.
Before you walked away, you whispered: “You know, I always wanted you to pick me. But I wasn’t the first choice, was I?” Soon enough, you left. You didn’t want to see the reaction that has plastered all over the woman’s face; you couldn’t bare it. Maybe you’re just a pussy, and you are.
Natasha drove back home in the middle of the daytime where she couldn’t understand how she was hurting two people at the same time. She realized deeply that she was a jerk, especially towards you since you were her best friend. Natasha sighs angrily to herself and bangs her head against the steering wheel, hard. Can she just sleep this off?
---------
Natasha’s POV.
I am the bad guy in the situation. Hurting Y/N was the last thing I could do yet I have the capability of doing that to her. It makes my entire body tense and start to question myself for it. Most especially, here comes the big jump, I don’t love Wanda. It was probably the chase that absolutely thrilled me, I loved it. And with Y/N, there was no chase. The natural feeling just came through and I didn’t have to work for it. Although I was too late to realize that.
I called Wanda on the phone if she could meet up with me at the Cafe along Walnut Street and 30 minutes later, she came without me noticing it. She sat down across from me and ordered an Americano while I got myself a latte almost an hour ago. My hands were trembling in fear, my head is spinning, and my whole body can’t even fucking function because I’m about to do what was only the right thing to do.
I didn’t want to hurt Wanda too.
“What’s wrong?” Her Sokovian accent was harsh enough as the way she looks at me with her dead eyes. I tightened my throat and drank my latte to keep me hydrated which I think it’s barely working.
“Wanda, I called you here because you need to know something.”
I watch her as she leans back on her chair, her arms were quite relaxed on the table, and said: “Go on, sweetheart. What happened?”
I took a deep breath and responded: “I don’t think I love you the way you’re supposed to be loved, and I am so deeply sorry for doing this to you because you don’t deserve it. What you deserve is my honesty, and I’m being honest–”
“So like what you fucking used me?”
“I never used you,” I said with a gentle tone and look at her with sincerity because that’s what I can offer and she needs to know how deeply sorry I was. “I never did. I thought I had feelings for you, I did, but I … I don’t love you, Wanda. And I am so so sorry.”
I feel ashamed of what I’ve said now and possibly do regret it, but she deserves to know. Wanda’s facial expression changed into this kind of indescribable but it shows a lot of sadness. Her eyebrows twitched and smirks but it faltered so quick. I was a terrible person after doing this.
“You’re an ass.”
“I know I am,” I nodded in agreement.
“But thank you for also being honest with me about it,” She mentioned but continued: “But you’re an asshole, Nat. You don’t do that ever again.”
“You deserve so much better Wanda,” I responded with a sincere look in my eyes that speaks louder than my words. “You deserve everything. But, I can’t get myself to fall in love with you.”
Wanda looks at me with her daring dark eyes as she slacks back on the chair. Then, she squints her eyebrows together and shakes her head – not in a frantic way.
“Is this about Y/N?”
Shocking, you interjected: “No, I don’t–”
“It is,” She cuts me off cooly while she plays with her fingernails, looking up and down at me as if she’s judging everything I wear. “It’s always been her. You’re just an awful fucking bitch to not even realize how that woman is in love with you. I’m partially am not dumb, Natasha.”
My lips turned pale as I took in the words that she has called me. An asshole, a pure fucking asshole I was. Boy, I can’t even get into a stable relationship. I watch her movements as she stands up from her chair, places a 20 dollar bill on the table harshly, and walked away. Everyone stared at the scene and I just sat there with my head down. Satan should really save a seat for me. I was a despicable human being with no morals.
But confessing to her made my heart a little lighter.
Chasing Y/N wasn’t going to be the best solution at the moment, and I realized that this time I need to make this right once and for all. Although what disheartens me is that Yelena, my sister, is into my best friend. My Y/N. I’m not sure if it angers me, but it does annoy me a little bit. This is going to be a lot slower than I thought it was.
But letting myself fall in love deeply with her is a natural thing to do.
I have to let it happen by time.
---------
It was a Friday night and you were getting for your date with Yelena which was only at home. You do want to look presentable and pretty for her, that’s the only thing that mattered at the moment. As you were the lightest pinkish lipstick, you hear a soft knock on your door.
“Come in!” You yelled. Kate closes the door behind her and slowly smirks at you in a playful matter.
“Are you ready for your date with the sexiest assassin ever?!”
“God you are such a freak,” You joked and she playfully hits your arm, hugging you from behind that seeming to comfort you and you opened it warmly.
Happily, you mentioned: “You know what’s funny?”
“What?”
“I’m dating my best friend’s sister,” You laughed to yourself as you watch your expression in the mirror in front of you. You notice how well detailed the lipstick was on your lip and how your eyelashes sparkled with beauty. “And isn’t that shady?”
She chuckles back, shaking you a little. “Who cares? You deserved to be loved now.”
And she was pretty damn right about that. A few minutes later, Yelena was waiting at the dining table where Kate prepared us some exquisite food, as she would like to say. Although you won’t indulge your judgment to her since you haven’t even tasted the food.
When you walked to the area, Yelena has this apologetic look in her eyes and instantly took a few steps toward you, holding out your hand gently.
“I can’t stay long here,” She says. “I have to go back to Russia with … many things that it’s hard to talk about. I have to stop this, whatever is between us, I’m sorry. I have to go.” Not even a full minute she rushes out of your house without even noticing how pretty you looked. A compliment or an appreciation would’ve been nice.
Kate looks hurt for you and pats you softly on the back, whispering: “I’m so sorry, Y/N–”
“I’m convinced this is some sisterly thing doing,” You cut her off while grinding your teeth together silently. “I am definitely not capable of being loved by someone.”
That night, you cried yourself to sleep; fully regretting everything that has happened in your life. And you thought to yourself, you needed Natasha. You need yourself to be in her arms. You miss her.
But you can’t see how embarrassed you feel toward her.
---------
“Yelena, that was such an ass thing to do!” Natasha scolded and motioned her hands up in the air, wavering it. “I mean, this is Y/N we are talking about. Why the fuck would you–”
“It’s not that easy, okay? Plus, I don’t even like her much. So, she’ll forget what happened honestly,” The younger sister grumbled under her breath as she throws clothes inside the duffle bag with rumbling sounds coming through from it. If Natasha was in Yelena’s position, she would’ve given you a proper goodbye. A kiss that would mean everything and a touch that will never waver away. She knows how to treat you just right.
Of course, she does.
“Even though you like or don’t like her, people can still be hurt by your actions.”
“You’re acting like you’re in love with her,” Yelena interjected with a dark chuckle.
“Maybe I am!”
This is what made the younger sibling turn and look at her older person with widened eyes. She’s in disbelief that Natasha said that out loud, and from the looks – Natasha’s face got so pale that it looked like she was about to vomit. But, the woman shakes her head and continued: “Maybe I am. Maybe I am in love with her, and that’s why I would never leave her like that. If you like her, chase her right now. But if you won’t, she’s mine.”
Yelena looks away and smiled to herself. Then, she continues packing up her duffle bag. She replied: “I always knew you were so in love with her, it explains a lot why you’re so protective.”
Maybe I wasn’t so good at hiding my feelings toward her. Natasha thought to herself and sighed. She sat back down on the small couch that was inside her bedroom and her thoughts ran through you. You were a dangerous person for her because she knows how deep she could get into this kind of situation. Falling in love with you was something she never planned on doing, but then the stupidity she felt at how she never saw the signs that you gave to her. The signs were everywhere. She was just fucking blind.
“I’m not mad or anything, but if you’re in love with her then fight for it. Let’s hope that she loves you back.”
This gave sense to the older assassin as she felt a smile that crept on her face – not in a creepy way – but in an adoring way. Natasha replied solemnly, “I think I am in love with her, I guess it was too late for me to realize. Maybe Y/N doesn’t even love me that way anymore considering she wants to see someone else. I don’t want to interfere, I just want her to be the happiest she can be.”
“And maybe she can get that from you,” Yelena responded while glancing at her sister, giving her a friendly wink. Natasha gave her a tight lip smile and nodded to herself. She’s definitely going to find a way to get back to you. Somehow. Maybe not today, but soon.
The thing about Natasha is that she hates being vocal with her feelings. But when it comes to you, it’s highly different for her. It’s probably because the woman is very comfortable with you that she can say anything that’s on her mind. But what’s differencing from that is that her feelings are now involved. And, that could be bad for the assassin. Or good. We don’t know.
---------
Natasha (12:09 am): You up?
While you were watching a film on your phone, you see Natasha’s message popping up and suddenly your body got tensed; even though it was such a simple message. Hurriedly, you replied back:
You: yeah, why?
Natasha: I heard what happened with Yelena. I’m sorry, she shouldn’t have done that to you. She just left a few hours ago.
You scoffed to her or to Yelena or maybe to yourself, but at this point, you don’t care anymore. You aren’t being so logical either so you replied with the most pathetic message that you’ve ever sent to a person.
You: i just want someone to love me, tasha. i want someone to actually love me, truly.
Natasha: I know. And don’t worry, someone will come up at your door and tell you how much they love you. Someone will treat you right, you’ll see. One night you’re just watching Suits and suddenly, a doorbell rang in your house and you rush to the door and there they are, that person for you. They’ll grab your cheeks and kiss you passionately, confessing how much they love you. And then, they’ll hold your hand, almost as if they’re scared to hurt you, and kiss it while whispering they love you. Someone will do that, I promise.
You sniffed as you read the long paragraph she sent and it made your heart lighter. She was so good with her words, Natasha knew how to calm you down. But what’s different is that it looked so … real. That message felt too real and you thought to yourself, Is she in love with me?
Of course, you shrugged off the thought. But it’s there, it’s creeping inside of you and it cannot come out. You let out a shaky breath and slowly typed on the screen, hitting send.
You: the message you sent, it feels too real.
You can imagine Natasha chuckling right now, her cheeks reaching up to her eyes. You admire her laugh a lot, it’s like serotonin for you. Not even a minute, she texted back.
Natasha: Yeah?
You: yes.
Natasha: I want us to talk tomorrow, meet me at the coffee shop you’re working at? I’m hoping I don’t see that man anymore, he deserves nothing.
Now it was your turn to laugh, feeling the miserable pain maneuvring away from your lifeless body that is slowly becoming lighter.
You: god, i hope not. thank you by the way, for protecting me.
Natasha: Anything for you, malyshka.
You: you’re cute.
Natasha: And you’re incredibly beautiful.
You smiled for one last time and put back your phone on the nightstand, pulling up the covers to your chest as you slept through an awful night.
---------
Natasha’s POV.
I am dangerously, completely, madly, obsessively, naturally, in love with her. That was a lot of adverbs through my description but I’m not exaggerating either. I never thought to be in this position where I want to be with Y/N so much that it hurts to my core, it’s crazy enough for me even think about her being with someone else. My whole life, I thought I was a broken woman who thought that they were never capable of loving someone. I realized that with Wanda, it was the chase and the thrill that made me possessively involved.
With Y/N, my god, it’s just different.
Everything felt so natural and real this time.
I wore my long light brown lapel buttons pocket coat and shades to cover my eyes. As soon as I walked out of my apartment, it was now and never. Either I have Y/N or not. But, if not both, I’ll always love her.
I’ll love her from afar.
For as long as I can.
#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha angst#natasha romanoff#natasha x reader#natasha x you#wandanat#natasha x fem!reader#natasha romanoff x fem reader#angst with a happy ending#angst#angst prompt#scarlett johansson x reader#wlw blog#illicitaffairsseries
428 notes
·
View notes
Text
Illicit Affairs - Part Four
A/N: I am so thrilled that i updated sooner as i did! i hope you enjoy this part, please let me know anything that you want to say! i appreciate all of ya’ll, thank you! <3
Summary: You and she both agreed that it was just a whole “Friends with Benefits” some type of thing until you fall for her. You fall so deep that it hurts you to see her being in love with someone else.
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: slut shaming
Word Count: 2.7k
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
so on...
Taglist: @karmsgxrl @thatonebrazilian @d14n4ol @strangegardentaco @lainjupi @19jammmy @how-to-disappearrr @yeux-sur-la-lune @bepisbeansprouts @nowthisisliving27 @sojo154 @splatashaizgay @swiftdazer @i-m-r-borges @wandanatvoid @yeux-sur-la-lune @padmeswife @clex99 (i have no idea why i can’t tag you i’m so so sorry)
You remember how Natasha would touch you every time you had sex with her.
It was more than just sex to the both of you – well for you, at least. She would gently caress her knuckles on your soft baby skin around your upper arm, her lips would tingle on your neck, and feel her wet lips patching on it. You would hear “I love you, baby” and “You’re my angel” whenever she would give you gentle pecks all over your face.
It was an amazing feeling, quite addicting yet you love it. You love the attention she gives you, even though it never meant anything to her.
But you don’t know her thoughts, you don’t know what she’s thinking and sometimes you want to know – but it’s already best that you didn’t. The aftercare is full of wonders. Natasha would hug you from behind in the mattress and sing you her favorite Russian lullaby song. You don’t know the lyrics, but it’s comforting because she’s the one who was singing it.
You remember how caring the woman would be towards you, especially whenever you have awful moments. She would comfort you, kiss you, make love to you, and most especially be there for you – because that’s what you mostly need. You never asked but Natasha would ALWAYS be there. Because you were her first priority.
Until Wanda came into the picture.
Natasha laid her eyes on the witch before you met her, when both of you met on the first night, she already started talking about Wanda and you felt this wrenching feeling in your stomach. You weren’t jealous of her, but you damn wished it was you instead.
After a week of not talking to Natasha, you kept yourself busy with new people in your life. Yelena, who is Natasha’s sister, comes to visit your house every day. She was fond of you and sometimes you’d catch her eyes lingering towards you from afar that you felt butterflies in your stomach; in a good way.
The assassin never even bothered to text you; a simple hello was not even formal anymore.
“Do you like Yelena or something?” Kate blurts out loud from her mind as she turns off the stove. You whipped your head up and quickly defended:
“No.”
“Sure, Sure,” She chanted and walks back to the dining table, placing a plate of omelets with tomatoes in it. “I see how you look at her and the way she looks at you. You like her little Russian accent, huh?”
You do find Yelena’s accent attractive, you aren’t going to lie there, and Yelena is a very charming person. Natasha is way more charming though– You closed your eyes to stay away from the thoughts of Natasha and took a forkful of the omelet, munching on it.
“I guess so,” You whispered so that Kate wouldn’t hear you but she did; she can hear everything from miles away. “I mean she is gorgeous and very very…”
“...Sexy?”
“Yeah! I guess,” You repeated your words and felt how stupid you are for doing it so. You kept yourself busy with the food so the embarrassment won’t really affect you.
“Speaking of Yelena, she’s visiting again! Maybe we buy the food this time, she keeps bringing her favorite Russian foods, I’m starting to get sick of it.”
You laughed inwardly to yourself and shake your head; Yelena is very much obsessed with Russian foods that you and Kate are getting bored of it. You instantly suggested: “Maybe we should make her try the finest American food, she’ll enjoy pizza.”
“I’m hoping she isn’t vegan because pizza is good.”
You spent a good 4 hours hanging out inside of your room and cleaning it, rearranging everything to make the room look a little bigger. Your coping mechanism is usually cleaning your room, it’s probably everyone’s coping mechanism but to you – it really is. You realized to yourself that you needed a new carpet that wasn’t furry because now; you hate fur. So, you went to an IKEA website on your phone until a message popped up on the screen.
Natasha: Are you friends with Yelena?
You don’t want to assume but you’re going to right now. Is she jealous?
You: yeah, why?
Natasha: Nothing. Just asking.
You: okay x
Okay, passive-aggressive much? You rolled your eyes and threw your phone across the bed. Natasha Romanoff can be a very possessive woman, especially if it’s something that she wants and needs. But, when it comes to you, it was different since she’s in love with the witch. Whenever she’s having sex with you, she likes to hear you saying that you’re completely hers and that no one else would touch you the way she does.
Natasha would take that back after having sex.
“Knock Knock!”
You turned and see Yelena coming inside your room with a sly smirk on her face, but once disappeared that you didn’t give her the same treatment back. She asked, “Bad timing?”
“No!” You instantly added, then noticed how audible loudly that sounded. You looked down sheepishly, “Sorry, I was dozing off.”
“Don’t apologize! There’s nothing you should be sorry about,” She comes up to you and gives you an air kiss on your cheek — a sign of politeness. “Do you want me to–”
“If you’d like, you can stay.”
Her face had a vulnerable look; but not to the point she was about to cry, not even the tiniest bit. You guessed maybe it’s her eyes that speak. She sat down on your mattress and you watch it as it dipped until you sat beside her and talked about unnecessary stuff that you couldn’t remember at all. You felt her hand grazing against the back of yours and leisurely held it, giving you that overwhelming feeling inside of your weak body.
“I like you.” She confessed. I’m not surprised.
You weren’t entirely sure how to react but as you deepen your search over your feelings, you noticed that you liked her back too. But it wasn’t as strong as hers. You looked at your side and watch as her eyes dazed over your lips until you felt a wet patch on it. You were very stunned – you didn’t know how to speak or to move, simply you just sat there with your eyes closed.
Pulling away, she whispered: “Was that too much?”
It wasn’t even too much, it was just about right. So, you shook your head and pressed your lips against hers with passion, shutting your eyes tightly to search for that euphoric feeling; there was, but only a little.
“Your lips taste amazing,” You tell her lustfully as she grips your lower back to make you undeniably close to her, Yelena kissed you harder and sloppier, and you weren’t so sure what to do next. Usually, you do know but it was only with Natasha. Now that it was someone else, everything was truly different.
Pulling away with a sharp breath that came out of you, you whispered: “We should go on a date.”
“I was actually going to ask you that.” She smirked.
“So, let’s do it,” You nodded in excitement as you jumped on your two feet that were back on the floor. “I’ll wear the new dress that I bought, I think you’d like to see it.”
“I very much look forward to that.”
She then left an hour later to go back to Natasha’s place, a sisterly thing. Even when Natasha’s name is mentioned you are crumbled to your knees; weakening. How can you be so despicable of someone that never loved you? A therapist might help.
---------
Natasha’s POV.
I wasn’t thrilled when Yelena told me about Y/N.
I sat there, watching her so terribly, awfully, disgustingly in love she was with her. The way she would tell me about her favorite food, which is anything with cheese, by the way, got me into thinking that I know her better than anyone else. I will always be two steps ahead of everyone that knows Y/N. But what gets me so atrociously confused is that how can I feel so much resentment toward something that wasn’t mine in the first place? I had Wanda, the most beautiful tender woman that has ever laid on my lap. I had everything that I ever wanted.
But why does it feel like it isn’t enough? There’s something missing.
“And she told me about her first kiss and all that,” I know what you’re talking about, Yelena. “And how she can do the jerk. It’s pretty cool, honestly. She’s quite a talented and beautiful woman, I understand why you liked her.”
In my defense, I quickly responded: “When did I say I like her?”
“You didn’t have to tell me anything,” She slowly said and sat back on the couch. “It was all over your face whenever we would call.”
I figured it out. It was all jealousy. I was tremendously jealous over the fact that someone else, my angel, was being courted by my one and only sister. This is like a whole fucking bombshell, if I’m good with showing my emotions, my face would be so red in anger. But, I don’t even feel for Y/N. Not even the tiniest bit.
Right?
“Okay,” It’s the only word I had to offer until I grabbed a glass of whiskey that was on the wooden table for so long – it had a wet circular mark on it. Drinking, I added: “When’s the date?”
“Tomorrow night, I’ll eat at her place since Kate is cooking,” She replied while drinking her water until it was all gone from her tall glass. “I would’ve taken her somewhere nice but, I guess a little date in her house wouldn’t mind.”
If I was in her position, I’d take Y/N somewhere special. Somewhere that it could be so memorable to us. I’d tuck her hair gently in her ear as I whisper how much I love her, how much I adore her. I’d take care of her extra special this time, my lips would linger everywhere on her soft skin. I would tell her how she should be treated and god it makes me want to chase her; because of my thoughts.
I have Wanda. Y/N is with Yelena.
I. Have. Wanda.
How is this so fucking hard?
I sniffed and quietly placed the glass back on the table, sighing deeply. I said, “Y/N would absolutely fall in love with you. You’re perfect.”
I don’t know what got me into saying that but surely, it would make my sister smile. I start to hope to myself that I can’t deepen these undeniable feeling that I have for Y/N, as I would go insane because of it. In all honesty, I was a nymphet for her as she was to me. I was extremely sexually attracted to her that I never thought there could be something more.
I wish it isn’t something more, please do not let it be something more.
“I’ll go now, I just wanted to visit you. G’night!” As soon as she left my apartment, I start to thrash the whole living room area. I get angry when I don’t have my answers right, I get angry when Yelena is making a move with my best friend who should be my only best friend, I get angry that I did not prevent myself from feeling this way towards her. I just want to make things right. And being away from Y/N after a week just got me even desperate to see her.
The stupidity I felt never left me as I had the worst sleep in my entire life.
---------
Have you ever thought about the word “destiny”?
You did. You thought about what if you and Natasha were somehow destined for each other? That whoever was in above made you both meet? The universe must’ve planned it or maybe she was just here to be your best friend. If she were my best friend, she wouldn’t have fucked me as if she were making love to me.
“Ms. L/N! You’re daydreaming again.” God, your boss was a pain in the ass that you’re about to quit your job. Although you need it at the moment to pay the bills that are needed for your home. Sighing, you walked to a lonely man who was sitting with a newspaper in hand. You coughed to get his attention and asked: “What can I get you for this fine morning?”
“Are you a whore?”
Your eyes widen at the brutal comment and felt your anger rushing through your veins. You tried to stay calm and responded with a loud: “Excuse me?”
He examined you determinedly, his eyes looking up and down over your body, and replied: “You look like a slut who begs to be fucked right now I mean come on, it even looks like you had surgery!”
“I never asked your opinion over my body,” You scoffed audibly, and notice you got all the attention on you. “Are you drunk? What the fuck was that?”
“Slut! Slut! Slut–”
“Hey!”
You turned and see your friend marching towards the old man, her hands grabbing the neck part of his shirt and swinging a fist onto his face, making everyone gasp in fear. Of course, the black widow herself was here to save the day. A bunch of staff came along the current view and grabbed Natasha’s waist, pulling her back. You yelled, “Natasha! Can you please–”
Natasha pushes the staff away from her muscular body and went beside you, looking at the man who was severely punched in the face. She raised her voice, “No! He should not call you that, what gives him the rights? He’s a fucked up human being who can’t even get his dick hard. I hope you fucking go to hell you fucking–”
“Let’s go, now!” You pulled her wrist and fled away from the embarrassing scene that was created by Natasha. You brought her to the back of the alley and push her slightly against the concrete wall.
“Are you stalking me now?” You hissed.
“No, I didn’t even know you were there, and, he was disrespecting you!”
“But I never asked for your help!”
She pinches the bridge of her nose and exhaled, “Y/N, he could’ve fucking groped you! Done something horrific to you, I was just trying to protect you.”
Natasha was like your lady knight in shining armor, to save you from the evilest creatures that were made on land. But to your defense, you can protect yourself and handle the situation on your own.
You still thanked her for saving you from that situation, though.
“Okay, I’m sorry.” You mumbled and kicked a pebble that was on the ground. Natasha looks back at you with a small hint of a smile on her face. Something feverishly feeling sparked into your heart and now you were quite embarrassed to stand in front of your friend.
“I missed you.”
Now it was your turn to look back up and replied, “You did?”
She nodded slowly and responded: “I thought you hated me. You rarely respond to my texts.”
Now you felt awful to yourself that you never texted her back. You have an excuse though, and that is moving on from her and also being busy with your new job that was recently in your hands. You sighed to yourself and looked at her eyes with a sincere apologetic look.
“I’m sorry.”
She smiles and you felt your cheek being touched by her hand that was incredibly soft; you got lost in the feeling. This is wrong, Y/N. She has a girlfriend.
You suddenly pulled back and coughed and Natasha instantly went back on the serious look that she always uses. Whispering, she said: “Sorry.”
“‘Sorry’ is our favorite word now, huh?”
Natasha chuckles deeply and nods, still looking at you with somewhat hoping in her eyes that you can’t figure out why she was staring at you that way. Eventually, it hits you, was Natasha also into you?
You hate to assume–
“I want to tell you that I think I used to feel a lot for you,” She confessed with a whisper and that completely made you forget everything that was in your mind. What? “When we would have sex, you were asleep in my arms and sometimes I’d stare down at you and admire your beauty. I’d admire your body and every little thing that was on it. Eventually, I figured out that I liked you. I liked you a lot, Y/N. And I had a hard time admitting that to myself.”
This is surely a lot to take in.
#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha x reader#natasha x you#natasha angst#wandanat#illicitaffairsseries#angst with a happy ending#natasha romanoff#natasha#black widow x reader#black widow x you#black widow x fem reader#natasha x fem!reader#natasha romanoff x fem reader#possessive natasha
415 notes
·
View notes
Text
Illicit Affairs (Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader)
A/N: A new series! I hope this is good enough because I’m still having ideas and it’s quite angsty... somehow. But, either way, I think I’ll enjoy writing this. And there will be a lot of parts, it depends though tbh LMAO but I hope you enjoy it otherwise. <3
Summary: You and she both agreed that it was just a whole “Friends with Benefits” some type of thing until you fall for her. You fall so deep that it hurts you seeing her being in love with someone else.
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Angst; Heavy Smut; Cursing; basically it’s (18+)
Spotify Playlist for this series
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
so on...
#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff#soft!natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff smut#natasha angst#natasha romanoff angst#smut#wlw blog#illicitaffairsseries
292 notes
·
View notes
Text
sike probably not BUT HEY GIVE ME TWO HOURS OKAY
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
no updates for today sorry i was incredibly lazy and busy
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
will be posting illicit affairs part 2 by in an hour or more!!!!
3 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
hogweed-g
Hogweed
vinmus
Vinmus Products
d-istaste
Burn
biglush23
Putting The World In My Mouth, One Bite At A Time
marymunchkiin
May the Gonk be with you