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petite-phthora · 10 months

Text

Da da da... he’s dead

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 6]

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Part 1

Ao3

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In-chat nicknames:

OGnerd = Jason

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Miss Harleen Quinzel had been having a relaxing evening on the couch with Bud and Lou when she gets a message on her phone. Seeing it’s from Red Hood, who barely texts… well anyone, she quickly opens it.

All he sent her is an image. There’s no text accompanying it and Red Hood already went offline. Harley looks at the selfie Red Hood sent her.

It doesn’t seem like anything special until she sees the body on the floor next to him in the picture.

She freezes.

A big grin stretches across her face and she starts laughing. Not a giggle or a cackle, just a full-blown belly laughter full of happiness and relief and with tears gathering in her eyes.

From another room, her girlfriend’s voice sounds.

“Harls? Are you alright?”

---

An announcement had just been made of the Joker having escaped Arkham once again. And just when Tim thought tonight couldn’t have gotten any worse, Jason sent a message in the groupchat.

---

28 days without the Joker breaking out of Arkham

OGnerd: Due to personal reasons I won’t be patrolling Crime Alley tonight

OGnerd: Don’t follow me.

---

And, Jason being Jason, immediately turned his phone off after sending the messages.

So of course, Tim immediately went to follow him. After updating the groupchat name…

Fortunately for Tim, and unfortunately for Jason, Jason has not been informed of Tim’s stalker tendencies yet. Jason knows he’s nosy, but is unaware of the actual following people around and spying on them aspect.

It was child’s play for Tim to follow the tracker in Jason’s helmet to see him visit… a flower shop?

Tim’s first thought is that he might be following a lead of some kind seeing as he’s in his Red Hood outfit and all. But that thought evaporates the moment Jason walks out of the flower shop with a bouquet of… are those sweet peas?

Slightly bewildered, Tim continues to stalk follow Jason from a safe distance as he steps onto his motorcycle and leaves the flower shop.

He follows him to an apartment complex, where he sees Jason proceed to knock on someone’s window, flowers in hand, rather than just breaking in.

Tim watches as someone opens the window and after a while gets led outside by Jason and eventually down onto the ground and to the motorcycle.

Perplexed at how gentle Jason seems to be with the random dude, Tim barely remembers to move after them when they leave again on the motorcycle.

---

Tim could hear the yelled question from outside.

“THAT CLOWN I PUNCHED WAS THE JOKER?!”

That sentence leaves Tim with so many questions.

Not only has Jason’s friend— date? — interacted with the Joker. But he has also punched him, and all that without even knowing that it was, in fact, the Joker.

Watching as the guy put his head on the table in embarrassment, even making Jason concerned for the guy, Tim can only think that damn, Jason really knows how to pick them, huh.

Tim decides to leave them alone. It seems likely that Jason and his mystery boo had something to do with the Joker still not having made an appearance, but he’ll interrogate Jason about it later. He’d rather not be found out and killed for stalking Jason on his date, thank you very much.

While he’s moving further away from them, his coms crack to life with B’s voice.

“Everyone. Meeting at the clock tower in 10. Don’t be late.”

Tim swallows as he changes course to head to the clock tower.

Now, how to keep everyone off Jason’s back so he doesn’t commit familicide?...

---

Once everyone minus Jason was at the clock tower, they got the debrief.

The Joker had escaped Arkham two days ago, and no one has heard anything from him since. Not only that, but they didn’t even know he was gone until a day later.

It was an all-hands-on-deck situation, even Dick came from Bludhaven to help out on the search.

After the debrief is done and they’re about to start the search, B suddenly speaks up again.

“Where’s Red Hood?”

His response is silence as no one speaks up, just awkwardly glancing around. Dick almost started whistling but got elbowed in the gut by Damian. Steph, does, start whistling quietly.

B wasn’t deterred, however. With a sigh, he talks into the coms.

“Oracle—”

“Already on it. I’m currently trying to trace the tracker in his helmet and remotely turn on the cam and audio footage.”

There’s a pause in her speech.

“It looks like there’s some strange interference. The cam footage is being corrupted, and so the is audio.”

B’s expression stays stoic as always.

“The tracker?”

“Glitching. It almost looks like it’s teleporting around the map. It won’t give me one specific location and even disappears entirely every few seconds.”

B lets out a grunt before Babs continues.

“Though it looks like the places the tracker appears are all quite close to each other, so I might be able to interpolate the coordinates of the teleporting tracker and determine a general area for his location.”

“You know,” Tim speaks up foolishly, “in my personal opinion, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. We should probably just leave him alone for the night“

Tim sweats as he can feel B’s gaze on him as he replies to Oracle. “Keep us updated”

---

They had split up and searched for two hours so far, stopping some minor crime on the way, but they hadn’t been able to find any clue as to where the Joker might be.

Oracle has managed to find the moment of his escape on the cameras, but after a while the files start to glitch and the rest of them are completely missing. Someone wiped the files.

They decided to regroup at the clock tower to discuss some more strategies.

“Oracle, report on Red Hood’s location.”

“I tried to get the general location of the tracker and I traced it all the way back to a restaurant, but I’m almost certain it just started moving. I’m currently tracing its path to try and extrapolate the new location.”

“Good. Keep us updated.”

Tim tries to speak up when Oracle starts talking again.

“Oracle here. I think the tracker is moving towards… the Gotham Observatory?”

“What the hell is Jason doing at the observatory?” Duke wonders.

Going on a date with a mysterious twink who’s definitely not a native Gothamite and seems to randomly punch clowns?

At first, Tim couldn’t believe Jason going on a date with someone seemingly so oblivious/naïve.

But when he puts it like that… yeah, ‘mysterious twink that punches the Joker without knowing it’ sounds like it would be Jason’s type…

“No real names.” Is B’s response, evoking some eye-rolls.

“Nightwing, go check on Red Hood at the observatory. Observation only, but step in if necessary. Report back”

B probably sent Nightwing cause he’s the least likely to get maimed by a pissed-off Red Hood.

Before Dick is able to take off, Tim nervously speaks up “You know guys, I think we should just leave him be for tonight and focus on finding the Joker”

The silence on the roof and across the coms speaks volumes.

B is the first one to speak up.

“Why are you covering for him?”

“I’m not covering for him!” is Tim’s immediate response.

He is, but if he revealed anything he has found out, Jason would murder him when (not if) he finds out.

B raises an eyebrow at him.

“Ohhh, Timbo’s been keeping secrets~— Ow!” Steph is heard saying, before being elbowed by Cass.

The others stay silent as they watch the exchange.

Damnit, why did Alfred have to teach B that eyebrow raise?

Tim caves.

“Alright, I am covering for him. But I can’t tell you what for. He’ll kill me”

Damian scoffs “Todd probably bribed Drake to keep his mouth shut. Don’t worry, I can make him talk”

Damian tries to step forward, katana raised, but gets held back by the scruff of his Robin costume by Dick.

“Richard, let me go!—”

“Nope, Little D. Let’s not commit fratricide today”

B doesn’t pay them any mind.

“Red Robin, if you have information on Red Hood and the Joker—“

“It has nothing to do with the Joker, I swear!” Tim tries. “Jason is just… having a relaxation day! He’s taking a uh, small break.”

Well, it probably has something to do with the Joker, but Tim has plausible deniability.

“So we shouldn’t bother him today, uh, at all. He really needs this, uh, self-care day. I mean have you seen the amount of grey hairs he’s been getting from the stress lately?”

The sound of Damian’s struggling against Dick’s hold is the only thing he hears.

B is just silently glaring at him.

“He’s on a date!” Tim bursts out.

…

Fuck.

The only sounds that break the silence are the small ‘oompf’ from Damian as he is dropped by Dick and Dick’s excited squeak of “Little Wing is on a date?!”

Uh oh.

---

Somewhere far away, in another realm, a manic cackle echoes across an expanse of green.

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Taglist (for now, I’ll probably stop if I cant keep up):

@i-always-say-yea @uraniumwizard @why-must-i-be-like-this @griffinthing

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