#if there's typos and all then know i chose to ignore them because yes. lol
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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE
fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.
tagged by: stolen from @oneshallfall like.... months ago. im a slow gremlin hjksd. it's been in my drafts and i finally decided to finish the last few sections while working on clearing them out
tagging: steal it
MY MUSE IS. canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless
is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.
is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? Well.../ NO / IDK. (i know optimus is but i don’t really... know about orion? i have seen a handful of fanartists who turn him into a very sexualized moe baby but i’m not sure about the fandom at large)
is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.
are they underrated? YES / NO. (lmao there’s like no fan content with him unless it’s with megatronus)
were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO.
were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.
are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (not yet.... lol)
how’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.
HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?
This... this is a trick question in this goddamn mess of a continuity. That said, I try my absolute best to make my portrayal coherent with the TFP show... even if said show contradicts itself at times. I take inspiration from the earlier parts (the thirteen primes section) of the Covenant of Primus for his origin backstory, but ignore the rest of the Covenant since it makes absolutely no sense with his characterization in... literally anything else. I’ve peeked at Exodus and it utterly sucks, but I’ve picked up bits and pieces of concepts that originated there just from spending time in the fandom. Aside from that... I spend a ton of time thinking about how to weave everything together in a way that both makes sense and makes for a character development arc.
SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.)
Orion is genuinely kind, thoughtful, and introspective, very loving of the world around him.
He’s also a more complex character than is initially obvious - despite mostly being good sweet pure baby nerd he’s still flawed, with many of those flaws being his strengths put into the wrong situation. His strong morals can lead to dogmatism, and he’s only slightly less likely to deliver lectures than Optimus. His determination to be kind and help everyone can come off as unintentionally patronizing at times; he has a very “well-intentioned semi-privileged middle class” perspective that he’s not always self-aware of. However, he’s also willing to look at himself critically and learn/adapt.
Essentially, he has many of the same traits as Optimus... just more or less apparent and/or developed. He's less confident than he eventually becomes through his future experience with leadership, wanting to change the world for the better but sometimes struggling to ground his plans in reality—something that continues to apply, but with reduced intensity and frequency over time. Idealistic cinnamon roll will eventually develop some realism, though never really quite enough. His selflessness remains a strength for now, but we know that eventually it will dip into martyristic tendencies.
NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)
He could be potentially ‘boring’ in some senses. he’s the polite, considerate ‘next door’ type, who has for most of his life has just lived as a very average middle caste nobody. He’s more laid-back than he eventually becomes as optimus, but where others might get into trouble and shenanigans he’s most likely to just express concern. And since I try to keep him at least mostly ic, even with non-serious posts, this can derail ‘fun’ stuff and I fear dissuade some interaction.
While I try my best to give him realistic flaws that work with his character, he could still be seen as a little too good. very kind, understanding, forgiving, patient, considerate... almost endlessly so. A lot of my “he’s so good and pure” interpretation comes from using his having been the thirteenth prime as backstory, where he was pretty much the epitome of that, but some might not like the “he was a literal deity in a past life” idea for its “super special chosen one protagonist” elements.
His responsiveness to his environment can also be a downside. He’s not the type to start things; he just reacts and responds, standing his ground and finding himself when things get crazy around him. without megatronus, he may have eventually attempted political campaigning, but it wouldn’t have gotten very far. He needs to have more intense characters or events around him for major plots to really go places. Without those nothing would ever happen besides slice of life fluff, because he’s content with that kind of life.
WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?
Honestly I just wanted to write op/ratch fhsjkdjsdh. But I also wanted to be able to interact with a variety of muses and so I chose Orion over Optimus because he’s not so emotionally closed off, which I figured would give more flexibility beyond the handful of characters op would reasonably have close personal and/or plot-important relationships with. Also, I can relate to him on a thought-process level which lets me get into his head easily, which additionally made him an appealing choice for my first real rp muse.
WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?
I just love him so much, especially with the layers of his character I've built up around him. I don't always have inspiration to write or rp, but I think about him a lot. When I do find motivation to write, it's generally out of wanting to continue to work on developing him and just having a chance to express his characterization.
SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.
do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.
do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.
do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. (i should do it more...)
do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO.
are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. (at least most days fhsdhfskj)
are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. (it waxes and wanes. I know I'm a good writer but I could still be better...)
are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.
DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?
I’ll be honest; I’ve never gotten criticism. I haven’t been here very long in comparison to some and I’ve never been that popular, so I figure I’m pretty easy to just ignore. I guess how I would feel about it would depend on what it was and how it was delivered, though I like to think I would be reasonable regardless
DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?
yes? yes absolutely?
IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
I would be curious to hear their reasoning, but I think enough about how everything fits together that chances are I would agree to disagree
IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?
Depends on if their disagreement makes sense. Maybe I’ll give back my own reasoning for why I characterize the way I do. Maybe I’ll just agree to disagree, if their view is just totally different from mine. If they have valid points I’ll probably overthink it and spiral into self doubt. In all cases I’ll spill my thoughts to friends on discord.
IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?
......Orion in general or? ... fhsjkdhf...... Well if it was mine specifically that might hurt lol. But at the same time.... I doubt i’d agree with their takes either so... fair enough.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?
Sure. I’m good at grammar so if something glaring is there it’s probably a typo I missed and I’ll be grateful for the chance to edit it out before more people see it lol
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?
Yeah. I’m pretty quiet most of the time because I just don’t have energy to talk to a lot of people, and I never want to get caught in drama. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do in a situation like that. I tend to avoid conflict, I’m quick to apologize, and polite with anyone I don’t know very well.
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A Sting Of Jealousy
This is the very late giveaway story for @kiss-ace. I chose the interrogation with Yukimura... although my mind kinda wandered. I hope you’ll still like it though :)
And thanks to @umbralaperture for beta reading it! I’m sorry for all the typos lol
Pairing: Yukimura/Kiara
Warnings: femdom, aphrodisiacs, light bondage
Words: 3966
“I knew there was more to you than what meets the eye, but I have to say that this I didn’t expect.” A teasing smile was visible on Saizo’s lips as he put the herbs in the little bag. Their scent lingering in the air as he put it in Kiara’s hands, who met his smirk with one of her own as she answered, “Never judge a book by its cover. Well… maybe except yours.”
His lips twitched upwards for a split second and a light chuckle escaped his lips, “I guess so. But I’m still a little surprised you’ve read it.”
“Yeah, it was quite good. Although most of it isn’t really my style.” Kiara hid the bag in her kimono and shifted in her seat as Saizo replied, “After our meeting today I can imagine that quite well. Our little lord is a very lucky man. I’m almost jealous.”
A light chuckle came over her lips before the lord assassin continued, “But about the herbs. The most effective would be to chew on them, but even though they smell very sweet they taste incredibly bitter. The easiest way would probably be to mix them with some tea.”
Kiara nodded and, after some seconds to think about it, spoke up again, “And that will make him more sensitive to my touch?”
Taking a sip from his tea, Saizo answered, “Yes, that’s how aphrodisiacs usually work.”
Kiara put her hand over the place where the herbs lay beneath and stood up. Before she headed for the door, she looked at the still seated figure, who was smirking up at her, “Thank you. I owe you.”
“You can easily repay me with how our little lord reacts to those herbs.”
“Not without his consent.”
Saizo shrugged and she slightly bowed to him before heading out of the room and down the hallway, her nerves slowly catching up to her. She just got lust-inducing herbs from Saizo, just to deal with her own jealousy, obvious and unnecessary jealousy.
If there was one word to describe Yukimura, it would be either loyal or faithful. And even though the currently visiting princess was flirting with him shamelessly, she knew her love would never betray her, even though he can’t control his reactions when it comes to women. But exactly that’s what was grinding her gears at the moment. She wasn’t proud of this but couldn’t stand seeing that girl so close to Yukimura.
Absorbed in her thoughts Kiara didn’t notice Shingen coming out of his room, running into his side with full speed. While the red-haired lord didn’t even budge she lost her balance and stumbled backwards. But he caught her with his hands on her shoulder while her bag fell to the ground, gaining Shingen’s attention. Seemingly familiar with the smell, a smile crawled onto his face as he let out a deep chuckle, “It seems like I should send Yukimura home earlier than planned today.”
He leaned down to retrieve the bag and as Kiara was taking it, cheeks ablaze, he added, “Don’t worry. I won’t spoil the surprise.”
With that said Shingen gave her another knowing smirk before he left to attend his own business while Kiara hastily hid the bag again and sped down the rest of the hallway to Yukimura’s and her shared room.
The moment she closed the door she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and let all the nervousness fall off, as much as she could at least. Kiara pulled the bag out of her kimono, swallowing at the sight. She was going to do it, she needed to do it to get rid of this feeling. She wasn’t exactly proud of it, but all other methods she tried had failed. And it didn’t help that this princess was keeping Yukimura busy with games until late in the night so they weren’t able to spend those nights together.
With newfound confidence she walked into the room. There was some tea that had to be brewed.
~~~~
Now she sat here, in almost complete darkness if it wouldn’t be for the few candles that lit the room. Even though Shingen told her that he’d let Yukimura off earlier today, that princess seemed to have other plans. But Kiara remembered the look in Shingen’s eyes. Her love would come earlier than normal, no doubts.
As if her thoughts had summoned him, the door started to shift, revealing Yukimura who seemed to be confused as to why the room was so dark. His lord told him that Kiara would be waiting here for him.
While her heart started to beat loud and rapidly, Yukimura walked into the room, closing the door behind him, gaze fixated on the steaming cup of tea on top of the futon.
The moment he took a step forward, Kiara’s hands were hugging him from behind, causing him to jolt up at first before he realized who it was, “H-hey! W-what do you think y-you’re doing?”
His cheeks were tainted in a deep shade of red as she pressed her body against his, causing him to feel her breasts against his back, which only helped to deepen his blush.
Ignoring his question Kiara spoke up, muffled by the orange fabric, “What took you so long?”
Yukimura put his hands on top of hers before answering, “I… I just finished eating… and... ”
“And?” Kiara wasn’t letting him off the hook so easily, loosening the embrace and turning him around. While looking into her eyes, he answered, “And then… princess-”
The grunt that left her throat was enough to silence him and look at her with questioning eyes.
“You spend an awful lot of time with this princess lately.” The disdain in her voice was more than obvious as she let out a sigh, trying to get rid of the tension in her body.
Noticing her inner turmoil, Yukimura put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her with concern written all over his face, “Is everything alright? Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need me to-”
Without thinking much about it Kiara silenced him with a kiss, taking him by surprise. She put her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him before nibbling on his bottom lip, causing a groan to escape him.
It took some of her willpower but she parted from him again, delighted as she saw him trying to follow her lips with his own, just to be easily stopped by a finger. She let her digit linger and looked him in the eyes, “Don’t worry about it. I know you’d never hurt me.”
Yukimura visibly relaxed, his hands positioning themselves at her waist as Kiara continued, “I also know that you won’t leave me for her. I just… It seems that my brain isn’t listening to my heart. So… I wanted to try something… but I want you to want this, too.”
Without hesitation her lover spoke up, “I’d do anything you want me-”
“That’s not what I mean.” Yukimura was quickly silenced by her voice. Kiara took a deep breath and continued with a warm and caring voice while stroking his cheek with one hand, “I know that you’d do anything I ask of you. But I don’t want to do this if you don’t want to do it.”
After a few seconds he responded, “I… Okay. Will you tell me what it is you want to try?”
His smile was answered with one of hers as she nodded and took his hands in hers, guiding him to the futon with the now not steaming anymore but still warm cup of tea. They kneeled down opposite of each other as Kiara took the cup in her hands, looking up at Yukimura, “This… This tea contains aphrodisiac. Do you know what that is?”
She got the answer in the form of his shaking head, so she cleared her throat and started to explain, “So… I got those herbs from Saizo and mixed them in here. They… enhance sexual desire...”
Her cheeks must have been ablaze, at least they felt like it as she looked in the now deep red colored face of Yukimura, who wasn’t able to hold eye contact and looked around the room to try and regain his composure. Kiara swallowed before continuing, “And well… I was thinking that-or rather imagining that… you drink this and… well… I... ” Her voice broke in the middle of the sentence and she stayed silent for a little while, regretting having brought it up at all. He must think of her as a weirdo for fantasizing about something like that.
“You know what, forget it! I just-” Kiara froze as the cup was taken from her and Yukimura drank the whole content of it in one big swig.
Not looking her in the eyes he asked, “How long until it works?”
Swallowing to get rid of her dry throat, she answered, “I… don’t know. But it shouldn’t take long… But… Yukimura... ” She took his hands in hers, “Did you-? Why?”
He looked up at her and smiled shyly, “Because it makes you happy.”
“What… did I tell you… I don’t want to do something you’re not happy with.”
“What kind of lover would I be if I’d deny your wishes?”
Still not content with his answer, Kiara tried to speak up but was stopped by his next sentence, “And I… do want… I do want to try this out...”
As if a switch was turned in his head, Yukimura seemed to realize what he just said and jerked back, his blush deepening as he put some distance between the two of them, “I-I-I m-mean… I-I… just…”
He was stopped by a giggle escaping Kiara’s lips who leaned towards him, only coming to a halt centimetres before his lips, letting out a breathless, “Thank you.”
Not wasting anymore time she closed the distance between the two of them and put one of her hands on his thigh to stabilize herself. But just this little touch made Yukimura shiver all over and let out a guttural moan that surprised both of them.
They looked at each other for a moment, lips parted again before a grin spread across Kiara’s lips, “So… Do you really want to try this?”
The only answer she got from him now was a small nod as she took his arm and guided him to lie down.
Both of them were shivering in anticipation as Kiara slowly crawled on top of him and straddled his hips. She couldn’t suppress the blush creeping on her face as she felt his clothed bulge on her rear, combined with the moan that involuntarily left his lips.
Yukimura wasn't able to look her in the eyes, gaze shifting around, trying to find something to settle on that would calm him down.
Sensing his nervousness, Kiara took his cheek in one of her hands and made his gaze lock onto hers as she leaned down to claim his lips in a hungry kiss.
Mewls and whines escaped his mouth as his hands found their place on her hips, his whole body on fire and every little touch of her igniting it further.
A smile was visible on Kiara's face as she parted her lips from his, a tingle in her whole body as she saw Yukimura beneath her. His whole face was flushed, all the way down until his skin vanished under his kimono while also panting heavily and looking at her with a lust-hazed gaze.
This was a picture she would save in her head.
Seeing him like that made something in her switch as a seductive smile spread across her face, "Yukimura, dear."
His breathing hitched at the familiar nickname while Kiara traced his lips with her thumb, wandering down to his chest, letting her fingers play with the hem of his kimono, "Let's play a little game, hm?"
Yukimura swallowed, trying to get rid of his dry throat and nodded after a few moments, but the hesitation and uncertainty visible in his eyes.
Seeing this, Kiara pouted a little and poked into his chest, "Yuki… What did I say? Only say yes if you actually want to do it."
He swallowed again before answering, "I… I"I do want to try… e-even… even though I-I'm n-nervous…"
Kiara's gaze softened as she put her hand on his cheek again, stroking his face with her thumb, "Alright, don't worry dear. I'll stop the moment you tell me to."
A small nod gave her all the reassurance she needed as she leaned down to give his lips a little peck, continuing on by leaving a trail of kisses down his jaw and throat, and even further down to his chest. Due to the tea, Yukimura was squirming the whole time, every little touch of her lips causing a jingle to go down his spine and his body to heat up further.
Kiara let her hands roam over his exposed skin as she asked, "Well then, Yukimura~"
The playful tone in her voice made him shiver, which was a reaction Kiara couldn't get enough of. With a teasing grin she leant down and occupied her lips with his throat, sucking on the skin, talking between sucks, "What were the princess and you doing?"
"W-we were j-just-ah…" His voice was trembling and it was hard for him to form coherent sentences but he wasn't one to back down from a challenge, "Just… Just talking and… a-and… playing that game…"
With a hum against his skin, Kiara now let her hands roam under his kimono, raking her nails over the skin there and coaxing another moan out of her lover before speaking up again, "Ah? Which game? Was it fun?"
Yukimura's body squirmed under her stern voice before he answered, further distracted by the contact of her fingers, "N-not really… Mo-most of the t-time I was j-j-just embarrassed…"
Kiara released his throat, proud of the hickey she left there, and stopped the ministrations of her fingers as she looked up at him, cupping his face again while stroking his cheek with her thumb, "Why were you embarrassed, dear?"
Yukimura swallowed and his gaze locked onto the floor, "The princess… she… was always so close to me… and… I didn't want that… but I couldn't tell her that because, well, she's a princess and… I just… felt bad… because I was thinking about you…"
During the last part of his sentence Yukimura looked into Kiara's eyes, guilt written all over them.
She couldn't let him think that she was mad at him, so she leaned in and hugged him, tight, as she whispered in his ear, "Don't worry about it, dear. You don't have to feel guilty because of how someone else acted around you."
"But..."
"Shh… It isn't your fault."
The calm tone of her voice seemed to soothe him along with her words as he relaxed against her again, letting his head fall onto her shoulder.
A few moments went by with them staying like that before Yukimura loosened the embrace, "That's… that's why… I want to give everything to you tonight. I know you don't think of it as a big deal, but it is… at least for me… So please…"
He didn't need to finish his plea for Kiara to understand as she leaned down to leave a peck on his lips again, her smile answer enough for him as Yukimura laid down completely again, his disheveled kimono only covering the necessities.
Kiara didn't waste any time before leaning down again to leave more kisses on his chest, causing low grumbles to escape her lover's lips. Her hands started to work on getting the piece of fabric off of him, slowly exposing his upper body completely and letting his kimono fall over his shoulders onto the floor.
Yukimura let out a satisfied sigh as the touch of the fabric left his body which was slightly dlamp from sweat. The aphrodisiac seemed to have not only heightened his senses but also heated up his body more than expected.
His obvious arousal was poking against Kiara’s rear, begging for attention and he let out a loud moan as she put her hand over his still clothed erection and started pumping slowly.
“Don’t-... I-... Ah!”
Yukimura had a hard time forming any kind of coherent sentence at the moment but nonetheless tried to speak up, “Please… I-I… can’t hold-hngh… back… Too much a-...already.”
Kiara stopped her ministrations and focused her gaze on him while he was breathing heavily, trying to regain at least a little bit of his composure. Normally this was already a hard task, but the influence of the aphrodisiac made it all the more difficult. He swallowed and licked his lips before continuing, “If… If you keep this up I… I won’t be able to hold b-back...”
A deep shade of red colored his cheeks and his eyes wandered around again, not able to meet her gaze. Kiara on the other hand wasn’t able to stop the smile crawling onto her face as she leaned a little closer to him and whispered, “Hmm… Seems like we have to do something against that.”
She straightened his face again with her fingers on his chin, guiding him and kissing him feverently, distracting him from her other hand that skillfully untied her obi, letting it fall on top of him while exposing her body.
The sudden contact made Yukimura flinch for a moment as he broke the kiss and was greeted with an unexpected sight which made his eyes widen and breath hitch.
Even though his hungry gaze made heat spread through her body, Kiara kept on her poker face as she picked up her obi, took Yukimura’s arms to put them over his head in a leisurely tempo and spoke up while binding them together, “It’s not much, but hopefully this will help you restrain yourself. But I believe that - Is that too tight for you?”
She stopped for a moment, looking at Yukimura who shook his head before she continued, “I believe that you’re a good boy and won’t rip it in half.”
Her smile widened as she felt his member twitch at the nickname she gave him. Wanting to tease him a little more she leaned down further, stopping right before their lips touched and whispered, “You’re just too cute.”
Before her words could have been met with any resistance she closed the gap and let her hands roam over his exposed chest, raking her nails over his skin, which caused Yukimura to sigh into the kiss and lightly tug at his bindings.
Without warning she let go of him and sat back up again, basking in the view before her. Her lover laying bare before her, arms bound over his head and body littered with light scratches and hickeys, lips swollen from their make out sessions and just this look in his eyes, full of love and adoration and need. It made something feral awaken inside of her, she wanted to devour him whole and be the only thing he could think about in this moment.
So without second thought she shuffled around, taking his member in her hand and lining it up with her entrance. As she was hovering over it she looked directly into Yukimura's eyes, not breaking the connection as she slammed down, taking all of him in one swing, eliciting loud moans from both sides.
She held still for a few moments, adjusting to his size before she leaned down again, teasing him with a little peck on the lips before coming to a halt next to his ear, “I need you to do one more thing for me, dear. I need you to let everything out, I need you to scream my name when you come.”
As to emphasize her words, she bit down on his earlobe, making his breath hitch.
Kiara moved her head so she was just milimetres away from his face before adding, “What’s your answer, dear.”
Yukimura nodded, eyes never leaving hers, but it wasn’t enough for her. A wicked smile crawled onto her face as she added, “Use your mouth, dear.”
His cheeks grew even redder, if that was even possible and answered with a bashful expression, “I… Y-... yes-”
Without a moment’s notice she claimed his lips again, coaxing another moan from him.
As she sat back up again, she started to ride him, slow at first but picking up speed fast. Yukimura was trying to hold back his moans at first, still not completely comfortable with the possibility of being heard but Kiara was fast to pick up the signs and cradled his head in her hands, “Don’t worry about it dear, I-hngh… I made sure everyone’s out today.”
Her words in combination with her reassuring smile made it possible for him to let go, at least a little bit. Yukimura's moans in combination with hers were now filling the room, both of them sneaking glances at each other.
It was really hard for him to not be able to touch his love, but he tried to keep his hands in check, indulging her after he made her suffer due to his lack of attention.
After some time Kiara was able to feel a knot forming in her abdomen, breath hitching as Yukimura’s member hit that one spot inside her that made her insides clench almost immediately. As she looked at her lover, she could see him also already struggling to keep his composure, “K-... Kia-...ra… I’m… close… so close...”
The last part of his sentence was nothing more than a mere whisper but she was able to hear it nonetheless. Without relenting in her movements she leaned forward and kissed him again, all of her senses completely filled with him as she let one of her hands glide over his arms, untying him.
As soon as his hands were free again, he plastered them on her hips, gripping her tightly and bucking his hips upwards to meet her.
Their kiss became sloppy as they both neared their orgasms, but as close as Yukimura was, he wouldn’t allow himself to reach his high before her.
Remembering one of those embarrassing nights drinking with Saizo and Lord Shingen, he put the collected knowledge into use, starting to rub her clit with his index finger.
It was sloppy and his digit slipped away from time to time, but she was already so close that she didn’t really register it anymore, only basking in the pleasure as it came running down at her.
Kiara’s whole body tensed as the waves of pleasure took over her senses, crying out Yukimura’s name, who was holding her close, finally letting himself get enraptured by his own pleasure, spilling inside of her and groaning her name.
Now in a sitting position, Yukimura held Kiara close, who was breathing as heavily as he was, feeling the effects of the aphrodisiac fade.
After a few more moments the girl lifted her head and looked into his eyes, smiling softly. Yukimura on the other hand could swear that his heart would jump out of his chest every second now as his cheeks heated up again, but not before he could shoot her a smile himself.
She pecked his lips again and giggled lightly, “I’m sorry. I got a little carried away.”
A chuckle escaped him as he hugged her tightly, answering with a whisper, “If you ask me… you could get carried away more often...”
Kiara turned her head to look at her lover, who stubbornly looked the other way, coaxing a laugh out of her.
As she cradled his hair with her fingers she added, “You know… maybe I will.”
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Me again hehe can I get another reaction (could be exo or nct, whichever you chose) of someone touching you inappropriately? Like an old guy or something while you're both walking together? Thank you 💚💚
dude i’m so grateful for you lol. i love the requests you send in, here ya go @yixings-lamb, exo will be out next week, i have to update my in the works post & my masterlist oof. if anyone wants to know when something’s going up, just check there.💞💞
*Taeil*
He would be chill throughout the whole altercation. When the creep confronted you by touching your shoulder and slowly moving it down, Taeil would introduce himself as your boyfriend with a forced smile on his face. Remember, Taeil’s a sweetheart so I don’t see him as the type to get physical with someone who was trying to get all up on you.
“Hi, I don’t think we’ve met, I’m Taeil, her boyfriend”
he snapped
*Johnny*
He’s a gentle giant, but I do see him getting a little over confident once you refuse the guy and go stand behind Johnny. He’d of course get angry and threaten the guy to a certain extent.
“She’s with someone already, and don’t touch her again”
*Taeyong*
Would be awkward, maybe even insecure. Yes, this creepy old guy is an absolute pervert, but at the same time, why can’t he say or do anything. Would probably spend more time thinking about what to do than actually doing anything. Then he sees how uncomfortable you are and jumps into action.
“Jagi, why did you wonder off. I missed you” He’d say hugging from behind and kissing your cheek. Pulling you away from the suffocating situation.
*Yuta*
do i even need to explain???
Okay you can bet that if anyone was to even TOUCH his girl he’d be ready to square up. So, when he went to the bathroom for .5 seconds and came back to see an old pervy guy reaching for your waist as he stood behind your chair, while you seemed to not that any of this was going on. You best believe he’s gonna cause a scene.
“What the hell are you doing trying to touch her”, he’d yell across the room.
It was then when you finally turned around in your chair to see the man backing away from your chair with his hands up in a defensive way that you realized he was trying to creep up on you. Your eyes darted around the restaurant, noticing people were staring. So you got up out of your chair, grabbed Yuta who was still giving the perv a menacing glare, and paid at the register, then left. But don’t worry you thanked him afterwards for sticking up for you ;)
*Kun*
Another sweetheart here. He would probably just grab you and leave, whisper in your ear to ignore the guy. I feel like he wouldn’t be the type to confront someone even if it was a guy who made you uncomfortable. All he could really do was be a man and protect his girl by taking her out of the situation.
“Let’s go home and start dinner”
*Doyoung*
Have mercy on whoever decides to get in his way. He’s very protective of you, so of course he’d take matters into his hands and completely RoAsT tHe fuCk out of anyone who would even look at you.
“Nice try buddy, but she’s not into men with yellow cricked teeth.”
You’d have to cover your mouth so you wouldn’t laugh. He’d look at you and smile happy that you didn’t feel uncomfortable. He would want to continue on with his roast session, but he could see that the guys face was turning red from humiliation, so he decided to to usher you away from the situation and head home.
*Ten*
Another confident one. When he noticed the guy basically staring you down while you laughed with a few friends at party he decided to have some fun.
He went up to you, took your face in his hands and kissed you. You were obviously shocked but he just looked at you with a smug look on his face.
“I love you baby”, he said loud and clear.
*Jaehyun*
I’m just gonna take a wild guess and say that he’d come up to the guy who was obviously hitting on you and tell him to back off. He would have noticed how uncomfortable you looked once the guy started talking about how pretty your eyes were, and how toned your legs looked.
He would step up and say something like,
“Yep, and she’s all mine” and he’d kiss you on the forehead before walking away with you trailing behind him.
*Winwin*
It’s his girl and he has every right to tell people to back off when needed and that’s exactly what he did. You two were at a company party together when he left you for a few minutes to go get drinks for the two of you. That’s when an old guy approached your table and sat down in Sichengs seat. He put his hand on the top of your thigh and wouldn’t move it, even though you were trying to back your chair up as far as you could. But you didn’t want to cause a scene so you stayed silent. That was until Sicheng reappeared.
“Excuse me Sir, that’s my seat”, the guy would look at you then Sicheng. But the when he heard Sicheng call you baby and kiss your cheek, he kept his head down and left.
*Jungwoo*
You two were out with a few of the other boys. They had all ordered there drinks except for you because you had just gotten back from the bathroom. So th others were waiting at the pickup line for their drinks while you were swiping your credit card to pay, even though Jungwoo disapproved of you paying for your own drink. But when you started to walk over to the pickup line to join your boyfriend and the rest of your crew, a random man pushed you against him and wouldn’t let go. Immediately, Jungwoo and the rest of the boys sprung into action and started to pull you away from the guy, yelling at him to get off of you. Eventually he did , and you could’ve sworn you see fire in Jungwoo’s eyes.
“Don’t you ever touch her again, you hear me…”
*Lucas*
Yukhei and you went to a party that a friend of his invited him to. He wanted you to come with him, considering that you two didn’t have much free time together to begin with. At first everything was okay, the people were nice, despite you never meeting them before. Then as the night went on and the people around you started drinking people got more touchy. Yukhei didn’t drink, mainly because he was driving and you didn’t drink because you in general didn’t like alcohol.
Then a random guy grabbed your arm and tried dragging you up the staircase. You were so shocked you didn’t know what to do at first. But when you stared to fight back, you noticed how his grip became tighter on you. Then Yukhei went after you and basically twisted the guys arm making him fall on the staircase, giving him enough time to grab you and drag you out of the party scene.
“Why didn’t you make any noise, I was so worried”
*Mark*
Would be shy about it. When the guy came up to you asking something along the lines of “What that ass do”, all Mark could do was blush. He would grab your arm and slowly make his way out of the awkward situation.
“Let’s go home and get some rest. You said you were tired anyways.”
(a/n-requests are always open sorry for any typos, love y’all)
#nct#nct 127#nct u#nct 2018#nct dream#nct reactions#nct scenarios#nct requets#taeil#johnny#nct johnny#taeyong#yuta#nakamoto yuta#kun#doyoung#ten#nct ten#jaehyun#winwin#dong sicheng#jungwoo#lucas#wong yukhei#mark lee#mark#kpop#nct writing#kpop writing#nct headcanon
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Begin Again ~A Joshifer One-Shot~
A/N: Well hello everyone! Been some time since I’ve talked to you all through an author’s note, hasn’t it? Don’t worry, I’m just as surprised as you are lol. Yes yes, I know Joshifer has become quite the irrelevant ship lately, with hardly anything going on anymore. But every time I come back to Tumblr, I always somehow manage to get a bit of that shipping spark rekindled. And I guess lately, the spark was so strong that an entire fanfiction came out of it lol!
Fanfiction has always been my way of dealing with things/interpreting real life events differently. With that being said, this is kind of my take on what could be happening behind the scenes. Yes yes naysayers, it’s unlikely, but I absolutely adore exploring the big “WHAT IF” lol.
So after a literal...what has it been, two year gap? I decided to go and get very trashy again! And I do hope you’ll give this a read, even after all this time. I’m dragging as many of you down into the dumpster with me again as I can lol! I hope you all enjoy it, and you’ll have to excuse any errors; I tried to do a typo sweep but I’m also really eager to just get this out for everyone!
Disclaimer: This fic contains mature themes such as strong language and sensuality.
And without further adooooooo....
Begin Again
It feels like an entire lifetime has passed since I traversed these shores, since I created unforgettable memories, since I established relationships I thought would stand the test of time. But just like the sand beneath my feet being carried by each passing wave, I guess everything gets swept away eventually.
A heavy sigh passes through my nose, coupled with a bitter sweet smile playing across my features. Now I know why I never ventured back to this beach, despite staying in Oahu numerous times. It’s just a little too damn nostalgic- dare I say depressing, even. It’s almost like new memories flood in with every passing step.
I can almost hear the voices of the production crew talking and laughing against the waves, the atmosphere of filming a movie still lingering from many years ago. I can picture sitting in the warm Hawaiian sun with my fellow cast mates, taking breaks and cracking jokes between takes. And of course, I can practically see my best friends sitting beside me, constantly laughing and furthering what I thought would be an unbreakable bond.
I guess time has a way of changing things.
The now-emptiness of the beach is a rather painful reminder of the direction things have gone, everyone going their separate ways. We all tried to keep in touch. We really did. But the industry was a roaring wave that crashed around us, and prevented us from communicating well. What went from texts and calls multiple times a week quickly dwindled to a few times per month. And it’s gotten even more sporadic sense then.
I kick the sand with a foot, sighing as I feel my heart sinking deeper into my chest. It never really occurred to me how much I actually miss everyone. But I do. I miss working with them. I miss being with them. I miss everything we had going.
A rogue thought, a triggering memory, begins to snake around me like a piece of damp seaweed, and I attempt to brush it off as I continue my literal walk down memory lane. It grips tighter and tighter however, threatening to completely overtake my subconscious the further I stroll down the soft white sands.
I grit my teeth and give my head a shake, attempting to literally rattle the images out of my head. Maybe it was sadistic of me to come out here. I knew damn well it was going to open up a plethora of memories. And yet I felt some kind of strange urge, some kind of draw to walk down memory lane again. It’s not so much thinking about filming that hurts though. It’s...
I shut my eyes tightly, bringing both hands up to brush backwards against my head. I can start to hear a twinkling, unmistakable laugh on the breeze. I can start to smell a scent that makes me at home amidst the salty air. I can start to feel warm hands on my shoulders, rivaling that of sun above.
Jesus Christ.
“Sad, Josh. Real sad.”
Why the hell did I come out here. I haven’t thought about her that way in months, years. I’ve attempted to move on from her, to push everything about her to the back of my brain. And here I am instantly dredging it all up again.
“No. I’m over her. I’m over her, I’m over her, I’m over her...”
I internally repeat the saying as a mantra, a constant stream of words to hopefully override the trespassing thoughts and feelings. Because I am. What she and I had died years ago. She and I have gone down our own paths like everyone else. Sure, we might have had something almost going at a point, but not anymore. She chose her own way of life, and I chose mine.
Definitely over her.
Fuck, I really need to get off this beach. It’s like some sort of sick rip current, pulling me back into the mindset I had years ago. It’s replacing all the steps I’ve taken forward with a good ten or so steps back. It’s reverting me right back to the lovesick, desperate persona I tried so hard to rid myself of on countless occasions.
My jaw clenches tightly, an outward sign of the emotions building up within me. God, I swear, she’s like a drug to me. I know thinking about her now doesn’t do me any good. I know there’s nothing really I can do about our current relationship. But that never really seems to put a permanent stop to her repeatedly nudging her way back into my life again.
It probably doesn’t help that I’m walking the same shores where my feelings really peaked for her. This is where I felt something intense for her so long ago, something I truthfully haven’t felt with anyone else, something that’s always made me feel guilty in the relationships that followed. I think that’s why she’s so incredibly hard to shake, so incredibly hard to fully rid myself of.
Because she was like...a part of me back then. She awakened a part of me I didn’t even realize I had. And I suppose once we established that deep of a connection, once we gave each other our everything, there was no erasing it. She placed a piece of herself in the inner most part of my heart.
I suddenly snap myself out of it with a hard sigh, grinding my teeth together as the pain peaks and wanes. How sadistic must I be to continue standing out here when I know damn well what the consequences are. I came to Oahu to relax like I always do. I didn’t come out here to leave feeling worse than when I arrived.
Finally, I get some semblance of self-control back, and with one last look towards the old stomping grounds, I start back towards the semi-hidden path to get off the beach. But Jesus, it’s like the place is one side of a magnet with myself as the other, because it tugs me back with a beckoning call on the wind...Something that eerily sounds just like...
“........Josh?”
I stop short and whip my head from side to side. Nothing but the sand and sea on either side, with the dense Hawaiian forest before me. I conclude that I must really be losing my mind, and with a hard blink, I pick up my pace to walk away.
“Josh...”
There it is again, this time more distinguishable, and all too familiar. It’s enough to roll a shudder down my spine, and almost enough to draw moisture into my eyes. Yeah no, I definitely don’t need my brain playing this severe of tricks on me. It’s a signal to leave and not return for a long time. But every inch of my body, every ounce of my soul, halts completely at the clarity, the urgency, the unmistakable tone that floods my ears.
“Joshua.”
It’s firm. It’s confused. It’s impossible to ignore. It’s beautiful. It’s-
Turning slowly around almost causes me to white out, what with my heart stopping and restarting itself numerous times in my chest.
It’s real.
I stand there, completely frozen, completely agape, still trying to process what I’m seeing. There still might be the chance that this is all some sort of stupid hallucination, some sort of withdrawal type thing. But then I’m meeting her eyes, looking into a deep blue ocean that makes me completely forget about the one beside us. And the teary relief that spreads across her face is so genuine, so wonderful, that I feel myself breaking down all over again.
“Oh, Joshy...It’s...really you...”
I feel like everything moves in both slow and fast motion. I feel like I still can’t keep up with what’s happening right now. I feel like I’m making this all up to cope, or dreaming, or just going fucking crazy. But all of a sudden, my whole body lights ablaze with reality as she slips herself into my arms, slips herself back into my life.
She’s real.
I don’t even know what to do. I don’t know how to react. I’m an absolute statue as the hesitance in her movements dissipates and melts into what used to be our usual embrace, her arms wrapping around my neck and her face nestling into my shoulder. Despite this, I’m still frozen, my arms two lead weights against my side as I continue to catch up with the unfolding events. But, in her typical fashion, she nudges me along and further convinces me that yes, this is actually happening.
“Hug me back, you fucker...”
I somehow manage to breathe again, and I also manage to lift my arms up to slowly complete the embrace.
“Over her” my ass. Because the second I’m hugging her, the second I’m pulling her against me, I never want to let her go ever again. The walls I had taken years to build up, brick by brick, instantly come crashing down as the wave that is Jennifer rushes forth.
I don’t say anything back to her retort. I don’t say anything at all. I simply take a moment to silently re-familiarize myself with everything about her, everything I’ve missed so terribly without fully admitting it to myself. The way her body conforms perfectly to mine. The way she fits into my arms like just the right puzzle piece. The softness of her scent. The tickling warmth of her breaths against my skin.
God, I’m weak. I’m so incredibly weak. And it’s what’s gotten me into trouble all these years. She’s like something of a kryptonite.
I can feel her exhalations getting shaky, and I’m not sure if she’s going to cry or say something. But for what’s probably the first time in her life, she stays quiet too. We simply hold each other, silently making up for all the time that’s passed, all the hugs that could have been.
I can’t help myself. I’m at probably my absolute weakest. So I gently thread my fingers through her luscious hair, holding her even closer as I lean my head against hers. Again, I’m met with a shivering exhale, and I begin to wonder what she’s making of the whole thing.
For once though, I brush the inquiry away. For once, I don’t even attempt to read her mind. Because honestly, what are the chances of me running into Jennifer fucking Lawrence on the exact same beach we used to film on, the exact same beach that, perhaps permanently, brought us together. It has to be some type of fate or something.
A rogue wave washes high up the beach, striking our legs and pulling me back down to Earth. Come to think of it...how the hell did we both end up here together? I was just visiting Oahu by chance on a personal getaway. I know Jen visits on the occasion as well, but we haven’t been here together since...
I begin to pull back from our hug to properly talk to her, to get a good look at her. After one last tight squeeze, she slowly follows my lead, and we reveal ourselves to each other in the shimmering Hawaiian sunlight.
Instantly, it feels like my legs are going to give out. If one more wave comes by, I’m going to be a goner. Because Jen’s not standing before me- rather, a legitimate fucking angel is.
She’s just as stunning as I remember, if not more so. Her light blonde hair falls into flawless beachy waves against her shoulders. Her skin glistens like a diamond catching the sun’s rays. Her sapphire eyes carry the same beauty, the same warmth, the same allure that they always have. Though I had every intention to talk, I’m rendered absolutely speechless.
She must take notice, but she doesn’t help my case. Quite the opposite really, because she decides to grace me with her incredibly gorgeous smile, one that sinks my composure like a rock.
“Joshua Ryan,” she breathes, her smile growing even more if that’s even possible, “God, I can’t believe it’s you...What do you have to say for yourself after all this time?”
“I...”
My voice comes out in a harsh rasp, and I have to close my eyes as I attempt to channel any composure I can find.
“Jen...”
Her name still rolls beautifully off my tongue, despite it feeling so strange to say now. Though my tone is weak and cracking, my emotions strangling it off, I somehow press on with my question.
“How...the absolute fuck...”
“-are you here right now?” she butts in, boomeranging my query right back.
“I technically asked you first.”
Jennifer snorts, giving her eyes a quick roll, before she faithfully answers.
“Business I guess. Liz pointed me this direction and told me a potential gig might be coming my way. She didn’t really go into detail though.”
I furrow my brows, curiosity and confusion sweeping through me.
“A gig?”
“Yeah. I guess she wanted me to talk to someone out here and is keeping it a surprise.”
I can’t help but jump to conclusions at her words. Because the way she put it, it almost sounds like Liz wanted her to meet up with me. It seems like a load of bull, but then again, I did inform Melissa I was going to be leaving to Oahu for a few weeks...Do she and Liz even stay in contact? Could some sort of setup even be a possibility?
Before I can come up with further theories, Jen brings me back.
“How about you?”
“Oh, uh, I was just here on vacation I guess.”
As bold as ever, Jennifer raises an eyebrow and gives me a knowing look.
“A vacation away from a vacation?”
“Hey now,” I mutter, “You know I’ve been trying to do stuff. It just gets hard when I keep hitting all these slow spots.”
Jen’s face softens again, and she laughs her gorgeous staccato laugh before replying.
“I know. Don’t take it so personally, asshole.”
I give my eyes a roll; seems like she hasn’t changed much at all. Instead of poking and prodding at me further though, she asks me a question that has my heart skipping beats all over again.
“Why don’t you tell me everything that’s been going on with you?”
“I- Right now?” I sputter.
“Yes, you idiot,” she laughs incredulously, “Do you have anything going on?”
Even if I did, I certainly don’t anymore. I couldn’t even start to prioritize anything else on this island over a moment like this.
“Not...really no.”
“Perfect. Neither do I.”
We stare at each other for a moment more, and I have to clear my throat and look away before I get totally entranced by her.
“I uh...I have some towels and drinks back in my car if you want to sit out for a while?”
Jennifer lights up in a way that makes the sun look dark, her excitement so contagious I can’t help but grin at her.
“Yessss!” she squeals, “Spongy coming in clutch!”
I laugh, both at her and the ridiculousness of it all, before beckoning her to come back to the car with me. She eagerly follows, the two of us departing the beach and heading back on the heavily floral path. We walk for a moment in silence, but just like old times, it never lasts long.
“So okay, I know why you’re here on Oahu,” Jen starts,” But now it’s my turn to ask why the absolute fuck-”
“-You were on the Kawela Bay Beach?” I finish for her with a chuckle, using her same interrupting tactic from earlier.
She gives me that wonderful laugh of hers again, before composing herself to reply.
“Probably the same thing you were doing: reliving one of the better parts of my life I guess. Walking down memory lane. Whatever you want to call it. Definitely got way more nostalgic than I bargained for though.”
“Yeah,” I snort, “You can say that again!”
She giggles once more, before quieting down. Though I’m not looking at her, instead watching my footing to make sure I don’t trip on a lone root or something, I can practically feel the warmth of her stare as she gazes at me, causing a subsequent burn in my cheeks.
“What?” I press, feeling my skin reddening more by the second.
“Nothing,” she chuckles softly, “I just...cannot believe I’m here with you right now.”
“Welcome to my world,” I snort, “When I first heard and saw you, I thought I was majorly tripping balls.”
“Jesus,” she laughs, “Happen to have anything that could do that in your car?”
“Unfortunately not. But I think seeing one Jen after all this time is the most I can handle right now anyway.”
“You’re probably right.”
We share another round of mirth, and then it’s my turn to stare at her once more, my turn to really appreciate the fact that Jen is indeed here with me. She’s just...incredible; she trumps the island’s beauty by leaps and bounds. Seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, watching her hair and sundress flutter to match my heart in the gentle breeze...It’s all so much. It’s all some sort of crazy dream.
Thankfully, my waterfall of sentiments is capped by us reaching my car. I pop the trunk and grab supplies out of it, handing Jen a towel and pack of beer before picking up the same. We quickly make our way back to the beach, setting down the towels next to each other, before opening up both our drinks and our lives.
I guess she and I must have hit some kind of weird wall due to our careers, because now that we’re in person, it’s like we never even took a pause at all. We go straight back to our jokes, our teasing, our storytelling, catching each other up with one another’s nonsense and kicking back beneath the Hawaiian sun.
Jen of course complains about all the publicity shit she has to deal with on a near consistent basis, and I chide that it must be nice to have so many gigs. We playfully bicker for some time, before agreeing to switch lives when we head back home, laughing and drinking all the while.
We then go into even further detail, talking about things such as our families, our housing situation, our dogs...Everything literally under the sun. We go on for hours, going through a multitude of stories, along with a multitude of drinks.
By the time the sun has started to drift down into the waves, my throat is incredibly dry from talking so much, a contrast to the liquid confidence flowing through me. A couple of empty cases of drinks is further evidence to how much time and alcohol have passed, along with Jennifer leaning her head sloppily on my shoulder.
We’ve somehow managed to go quiet for a bit, simply basking in each other’s company and the orange glow of the retreating light. Thank God I can’t think entirely straight, or my mind would likely be ablaze with all sorts of infatuation towards the woman beside me, all sorts of thoughts that would likely intrude on the moment. Of course, I can leave it to Jen to pick up the ball.
“Joshy?”
“Hmm?”
“Why don’t we ever do this anymore,” she whines, her voice slightly coated with alcohol.
Though I know she isn’t thinking clearly either, and is spouting whatever comes to mind far more than usual, I cannot help but stiffen slightly. I cannot help but have a few, more negative thoughts creep into the picture. It’s a reality check of sorts I suppose, a break away from the gorgeous reverie this whole day has been. It’s a reminder that, despite us once being so close, being practically unbreakable, we did indeed end up going our separate ways.
“You know why.”
“Noooo...” she whines again, and I see her lip puff out in her platypus pout out of the corner of my eye.
“We both kind of went our own ways,” I murmur,” You know that. You’ve certainly been...keeping busy.”
“Yeah, with a bunch of fucking movie shit.”
“Among other things...”
Now it’s Jen’s turn to stiffen. I should have known she of all people would catch the deeper meaning behind my words, the unintentional jealously that slipped into my statement. Maybe that was partly what pushed me away from her, some kind of fucked up possessiveness as I watched her jump from guy to guy. She’s quick to check me though, shifting herself away from me and giving me an incredulous stare.
“Josh, don’t even give me that shit. Need I remind you that you have a girlfriend?”
I shudder at a multitude of things. The mere mentioning of Claudia, the fact that my heart was constantly going every which way during our relationship and could never settle itself, the fact that I was possessive over Jen despite us going our separate ways, the fact that Jen just recognized said bullshit...
I let out a long sigh. It was a mess. It was all an incredible mess. I definitely couldn’t keep kidding anyone though. I couldn’t fully commit no matter how hard I tried. Not with part of me permanently residing with someone else.
“...We broke up.”
Jen’s furrowed brows instantly lift, her expression shifting to that of softness and surprise.
“...What?”
“We broke up,” I say again, “About a year or so ago.”
I simply leave it at that. Because despite Jen and I having an amazing reunion today, I have no fucking clue where that puts us now. And I definitely don’t have any idea how she’s been feeling after all these years. I feel like we need to focus on the aspect of our friendship instead anyway rather than dredging up relationship things, no matter how pressing they are in my head.
“Oh...” Jen murmurs.
I expect her to bury me with more questions, to attempt to figure out the juicy details on why my past relationship didn’t work out. I expect her to drunkenly tease me about not being able to put out or some shit like that. I expect her to talk all sorts of shit as she does. But strangely enough, she simply leaves it at that, staring silently out at the ocean before us.
I gaze at her for a while, waiting for her to speak up once more, but she doesn’t. Puzzled, I shift myself to follow her stare, simply taking in the sights along with her. In the small respite, my mind begins to stumble through thoughts and memories. Sitting out here, watching the setting sun with her, takes me back to when we filmed the popular “Beach Kiss” scene. I remember how we were laughing so much and giving each other so much between takes, but in the moment, I remember just being...absolutely entranced with her.
I remember her stealing the breath right out of my lungs. I remember her pulling me deep under her spell. I remember that very moment completely solidifying my feelings for her.
I remember that being the moment I realized I truly loved her.
A long sigh blows from pursed lips, and I look down at the last of my alcohol as I continue to reminisce. It’s strange how much that time practically parallels now when I think about it. The laughing and talking, followed by the more intense thoughts and bits of passion. We’re just missing one key piece, else we’d have it all over again.
“Kiss me.”
The drink I had started to take nearly comes out in a spray as I sputter back into the bottle, almost choking at the insane segway from Jennifer.
“What?”
“You heard me,” she murmurs, “Kiss me.”
My brain goes absolutely wild, trying to work through how the fuck she practically just read my thoughts a second ago. My first, and perhaps alcohol-ridden instinct, is to pounce on her and kiss her into the next day. The very idea of getting to taste her, feeling her flower petals of lips gliding through mine, sharing such a gorgeous, intimate moment with her that I’ve been craving since the day she first gave it to me...
I physically have to clench myself to ensure I don’t do anything rash, and instead attempt to tread as carefully through this as I can. I want it. I want her. God, I fucking want her so bad. But this same kind of thing...this same kind of thirst...It messed us up so bad so many years ago. It tore a rift between us, maybe one that eventually lead us to the distanced paths we took away from one another.
Regardless, it’d be amazing, so fucking amazing in the moment, but who knows what kind of further repercussions it could cause. I feel like I just now started to get Jen back as a friend. I don’t need to lose her yet again, maybe for even longer, simply because of a drunk slip-up.
“I, wh- Jen, you’re drunk.”
She lets out a stubborn, snorting laugh, placing her hands on her hips as she stares me down.
“And?”
“And you’re not in your head right now,” I reply gently, hesitantly, “I don’t...Want to do something we might...regret later.”
She looks at me for a moment, surprise and contemplation seeming to dance across her features. But suddenly, her face goes incredibly hard, and she gives a dramatic roll of her eyes before pouting back towards the ocean.
“Such fucking bullshit...” I hear her grumble, and my head spins as a result.
“Jen. What the hell are you on about?” I ask, completely beside myself.
“You cannot tell me you don’t want this too.”
It feels like the world stops as she calls my bluff yet again, this time perhaps the most painful instance yet. I have to ball my towel up into tight fists, inhaling calming breaths as my eyes shut her tightly away from view.
Because she’s right. She’s absolutely right. I definitely want nothing more than to completely ravage her, right here and now. But I can’t. We can’t. There’s no fucking way.
Also, though it’s likely just a product of her drunken state, what the hell is Jen thinking anyway? Is she mutual in sharing my thoughts and desires? Was she also thinking back to our Catching Fire days? Has she also been missing me the same way I’ve been missing her?
It’s all such a crazy enigma, and I don’t believe it’s best to solve it by giving into each other. Didn’t help our case last time, that’s for sure.
“I...Jennifer, we haven’t seen each other in so fucking long,” I begin, attempting to go down the most reasonable route, “We barely even talk anymore. Hell, there were times I was questioning if we were even still friends or not. I feel like this is the first time I’ve really talked to you in years. So you can’t expect me to want to complicate everything all over again. I can’t do that.”
I brace myself for her to fire things at me in return. I brace myself for her to pressure me further and push me to the brink of giving in. So I’m incredibly surprised when I’m met with the crash of the waves and nothing more.
I chance a look at her, and find that she’s rested her head on her bent legs, staring out over the water again with an unreadable expression painted across her face. As I stare, the setting sun strikes her in such a way that makes her absolutely glow, like some sort of spotlight that’s directing me to her. She’s ablaze with beauty, matching the quickly intensifying fire in my heart.
Catching Fire again indeed, because just like last time, the fires within us grow to meet each other, dancing in perfect synchronization. Just like last time, everything points for us to proceed despite all other signs not to do so. Just like last time, every fucking ounce of composure, of control, of anything that would hold me back, is turned to ash and washed away by the tide.
I try so hard for one last second. I clench my jaw tightly, shut my eyes away, and fist my towel up to the point where it hurts. But her draw is stronger. Her draw wins over everything else. Her draw convinces me in a second that everything happens for a reason, and that there is nothing more standing in the way.
I let out a soft groan, the last bit of me letting go.
“...Fucking...dammit.”
And then I’m on Jennifer so quick that she barely has time to turn her head in my direction before my lips find their true place once more.
The way she matches my speed and my passion is ludicrous, but I suppose it confirms she wanted nothing more as well. Instantly we’re facing each other, climbing up one another’s bodies and pulling each other onto our knees, never once stopping the stream of sucks and glides between our mouths.
Jen’s hands find my hair, and she grasps and pulls strands as she continues on with her passionate assault. I anchor myself to her as well, cupping her face tightly with both hands and drawing her even closer, drinking in all that she is. The only things that manage to break through the connection of our lips is desperate breaths and small moans.
Everything is perfect, an urgent ballet as our tongues and lips continuously dance with each other. Some feral part of me that has been dormant for far too long awakens, and I lower myself back down against the sand without any thought, pulling her on top of me. She chases eagerly after me, biting my bottom lip the moment she’s settled atop me.
Having her this close in so many ways, after so fucking long, causes me to release a groaning sigh into our plethora of kisses. She captures the vocalization with ease, drawing both it and my bottom lip into her mouth with a sensual suck. Of course, at this level of passion, this level of raw desire, our bodies react accordingly. I can feel all the fire that we created traveling down to rage in our pelvises, with mine beginning to alight directly at the apex of my legs.
Just like that, Jen responds, slowly beginning to rock her body against mine. We both moan our approvals into each other, and my hands naturally crawl up to caress Jen’s back, aiding her with her movements.
I thought a kiss would be ridiculous, but sex would be even more so. Regardless of any kind of common sense I may have, I am just mere moments from flipping her over and pounding years of want into her. I am just mere moments from reaffirming the unshakable connection we made on this same island so long ago.
Thankfully though, the universe sides with my feeble attempts to get my composure back, and decides to literally douse the fire burning out of control on its sands. Another rogue wave, the biggest of them all perhaps, suddenly surges quickly up the sand, enveloping our legs in rather freezing water.
Jennifer releases me with a high pitched squeal one second, and rolls off me the next, instinctually skittering away from the only undesired wetness on this beach. I’m still in so much of a daze that I simply lay there, allowing the wave to lap up to my thighs and completely put out the rampant desire I had been experiencing.
I have to take a moment and gaze skyward, panting softly and running my hands down my face. I use the silence to focus on drawing the blood away from my pelvis for a moment, to calm myself down after that taste of actual heaven.
I’m starting to wonder what became of Jen, where she ended up after the wave crashed our party. Neither of us are saying anything, so I can only pray that she’s calming herself down as well, and not regretting it like I had originally warned. She doesn’t keep me worrying long however, her beautiful, sunny, smiling face appearing in my peripheral vision.
“You never could resist me, hmm?” she teases with a giggle, hovering her face slightly over mine.
“Fuck you...” I mutter, shutting my eyes again but chuckling all the while.
We share a breathy laugh, before we travel into a comfortable silence, simply bathing in the afterglow together. Jen further chases away my fears of her being uncomfortable, as she begins to softly stroke her fingers through my hair. I cannot help but smile at the feeling, at the situation, at everything that’s happened. It’s nuts to think that hours ago I had been preparing myself to never see her again, and now we’re together, practically in love all over.
Leave it to Jen to either complete my thoughts, or read them entirely.
“Hey so don’t hate me for this; can I make a suggestion?” she murmurs.
“What’s that?” I answer softly, opening my eyes to meet her warm stare.
“Would you be terribly opposed to just...starting over?”
Now she’s got my complete attention, my head pivoting on the sand to properly look at her, to check to see if I’m not making any of this up. But no, I’m met with nothing but unbridled sincerity, her eyes a mixture of hopeful and loving.
“We’re basically there already anyway,” she chuckles softly, “We pretty much hopped right back to square one again. I just...”
She inhales deeply, giving my hair another stroke.
“I miss you, Joshy...I’ve missed you more than I ever would have imagined. Hope this confirmed it,” she says with a snorting giggle, and we share a quick laugh of agreement before she continues, “I’m...To put it simply, you caught me completely offguard, Joshua Ryan. All these years, you made me feel things I’ve never felt towards anyone. And I guess it scared me, and overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do with my feelings. I never really did. I fucked up so many times. Royally.”
“I definitely did too,” I admit.
“So yeah, because something brought us back together...Would you be okay with giving...us a chance again?”
I gaze deeply into her eyes, and the pure adoration I’m met with earns me the biggest smile I’ve had in such a long time.
“I don’t think I would mind that at all.”
Jen’s smile is quick to match mine, the both of us lighting up and illuminating the beach in the fading light. She gently cups my face with a hand, and presses a soft but meaningful kiss against my forehead; it feels as if she’s sealing her promise into it.
“You’re going to have to give me time to catch up, though,” I laugh, “Hoooo...I’m still trying to figure out if this all a really insane trip.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t be hanging out with such a junkie,” she teases back.
“Don’t think you’ve got much of chance now, Jenny.”
Her smile runs incredibly warm at the usage of an old nickname, before she bursts into happy giggles, pulling me into a tight hug the moment I sit up.
“And I wouldn’t want it any other way, Joshy.”
#Joshifer#Joshifer fic#Joshifer fanfiction#Jennifer Lawrence#Josh Hutcherson#Joshifer Hawaii#Writing that end part so was freaking fun man lol#Writing this WHOLE THING was so fun actually#God I can't believe I actually finished it#I had the first part sitting in my drafts for a week or two#And I thought it was going to be yet another story lost to the Draft Graveyard#But then BOOM for some reason I just???? Gained the crazy motivation?????? Yesterday???????#I'M NOT MAD TBH LOL LIKE#IT WAS SO INCREDIBLY FUN TO WRITE THESE TWO AGAIN#I was surprised at how easy their dialogue and everything still came to me after all this time#It was like riding a bike lol!#And yes yes okay#*Holds a stick up to scare off the Angery Anons* I know everything in this story would probably never EVER happen#So yes yes hi hello delusional Joshifer shipper here#But like#have u even read my past works#do you u even lift lol#I've always stretched the truth waaaaaaaay far lmao#Simply to tell a fun little story#SO YES I'M AWARE AND YES I ENJOYED IT A LITTLE TOO MUCH LOL#Surprise bitch#I bet you thought you had seen the last of me#-Jen and I tbh
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Remember Me
Chapter 2: Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Word count: 3,120
Chapter 1
Lol sorry for any typos I just really wanted to get this up today and I type super fast
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Richie wasn’t a stalker, nor did he plan on becoming one or ever has been one. He only knew what room the boy lived on because he saw him moving in. However, he still felt very stalkerish when walking down the hall and up to the said boy’s door. He wanted to be friendly. He hadn’t met anyone who he was actually interested in even possibly being friends with until this kid. Richie wasn’t even totally sure why it was him specifically but he felt drawn towards him. He couldn’t even explain it to himself. In a way it felt like a magnet was pulling him in. This was strange because Richie is very good at detaching himself from people and things but he hasn’t been able to shake the tugging feeling in his gut.
So here he was, standing in front of some (kinda) random persons door, about to knock and feeling like a slight creep. He raised a closed fist to tap on the door but it opens just before he has the chance, and a small framed body bumps into him lightly and the jumps back a little. Richie smiles brightly at the shocked look on his face.
“Good mornin’ sunshine.” He says adding a southern drawl to his words. Then continued in his normal tone of voice after getting no response. “As soon as I walked out yesterday, I realized we didn’t actually introduce ourselves. So, hi.” He shoves a hand out in front of him. “I’m Richie Tozier.” He wiggled his fingers a bit to try and get him to accept the handshake but the boy only stared back at Richie blankly for a few seconds before speaking.
“Eddie Kaspbrak.” Richie’s head fogged up after hearing this. He had met someone with that name. Maybe it was a similar...name? Eddie took the extended hand and shook it, interrupting Richie’s thinking and attempt to recall any memories of the name. Eddie smiled up at him with sealed lips.
“Maybe I didn’t tell you my name because I didn’t want you to know it.” Richie withdrew his hand and stepped back a bit, shoving the hands deep into the pockets of his jacket.
“It’s a little late for that suga.” Eddie stepped into the hall, ignoring the comment, and shut the door behind him. He began to walk away but Richie jogged to follow. “So what’s your first class?”
Eddie responded quickly, “Calculus.” Richie nudged him with his elbow.
“Hey! Me too. You know what this means right?”
“I won’t be rid of you as quickly as I thought?” He sounded very unamused. Richie hooked his arm through Eddie’s.
“Nope! Now you have someone to sit next to in class. I mean you know how nobody ever knows anyone in class so you just sit by yourself and it’s a little awkward? Well now you have a friend to sit by. You’re welcome!” Jesus Richie never shuts the fuck up. He knew how annoying he could get, his father never let him forget it, but he just couldn’t help it. As annoying as he knew he was that wouldn’t stop him. It took so much effort to tone it down. He tried his best though because sometimes he was just too much for people. He looked over at Eddie who now held a strong smirk.
“What made you think we were friends?” Richie felt a buzzing excitement grow in him. He fucking loved when people played along with his bullshit as stupid as it sounds. It was a form of validation that he needed, one of many.
“Well, you haven't told me to fuck off. So, I take it you like me.” They were almost to the classroom now.
“Okay. Fuck off.” Eddie opened the door.
“Ah, but you see Eds, I know you don't mean that. You only said that because I said something.”
“That’s not my name. Impressive, you forgot already considering I told you about five minutes ago.” Eddie slid into a seat and Richie sat directly to his left, very close to him. Richie starts pulling out his old laptop from his messenger bag and he can feel Eddie’s eyes on him as he does. When he turns back around to face Eddie, he feels some heavy deja vú. He can’t think about anything except: This has happened before I’m so sure of it. That is, until Eddie speaks up, voicing his exact thoughts.
“Did you just get some serious deja vú just now? Because I did and what the fuck that was spooky.” He looks flustered. Richie was very quick to answer.
“Yes.” They stayed in the silence for a few minutes, trying to recall a memory of this, a memory of anything really. But nothing came to mind. For once Richie didn’t know what to say. They stayed like this for the remainder of class. With Eddie constantly shushing Richie when he made a dirty joke. Eddie caught him staring a few times (Richie couldn’t not stare) but didn’t call him out on it until after he caught him the third time.
“Wow, I’m just that pretty, you can’t look away?” Richie looked away, feeling his face heat up. He didn’t know Eddie noticed the staring. He tried not to stare but it was difficult. At least he wasn’t alone there, whenever Richie looked away for a second, Eddie’s eyes were immediately on him until he looked back. They continued with this, more jokes, more shushing, the staring. They both seemed to be greatly enjoying the other company. They stood after the professor dismissed the class and made their way to the door.
“So. Would you consider me your friend now? Because we did just sit and talk for a whole ass class and oh, well, I don’t know you really seemed to enjoy my being there. Just sayin’.” He gave Eddie a lopsided smile. God he was a little too cocky sometimes. Richie received an eye roll and a sigh alone with the response-
“Fine.” Eddie looked over it on the surface but there was a little smile playing at the corners of his mouth (no Richie was not looking at his mouth, no sir), threatening to show itself.
“Really?” He raised his eyebrows at the smaller boy. Another sigh was delivered.
“Yes. I don’t have any friends here because I moved out of state. And if I get past the mom jokes, I actually like you.” The smile made an appearance and Richie felt his chest tighten.
“Well a’right, it’s settled ‘en.” He didn’t mean to say it in a british accent but when he was nervous he did the voices a lot more often and unintentionally. He dropped the voice forcefully and continued. “Glad I could be your first.” He winked, and Eddie’s cheeks went pink but he still maintained his nonchalant expression. Eddie turned and went left, raising his hand to wave goodbye without turning around. Like he knew Richie was watching him. Richie went right after he was out of sight.
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Richie went through the rest of his classes that day like normal. No more deja vú or weird flirtatious encounters, and no more Eddie. After his final class, and he was back in his dorm room, Richie slid off his shoes and fell face first into his twin sized mattress with a groan. His last class was probably his latest out of the rest of them through the week, it ended at 9:30. Richie had always been more of a night person, so he chose an evening class. He focused better at night. It was sometimes a curse. He thinks so much more at night and that brings on the insomnia. That and nightmares. This was all something he had struggled with for as long as he could remember. He would get little to no sleep because his head was so full, and if he did sleep he had horrible nightmares. He can’t remember the nightmares once he is awake, but he does remember the fear he feels in them, that sticks with him long after he is awake. He jolts up in bed, shaking and in a cold sweat. He’s not able to shake the feeling for days and he would get too scared to sleep.
So there he was, laying face down on his bed with his glasses crooked and smushed. He was indeed tired, there was exhaustion running through his body. It was tugging him into unconsciousness and he did his best to fight it. Richie had a particularly terrifying dream a few nights ago and since then he has put off sleeping besides naps for as long as possible. He couldn’t stop the feeling of comfort and relaxation the swept over him and he unwillingly drifted off to sleep.
His heart was beating in his throat as soon as he heard the cry of pain from below him. And he couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he fucking breathe? Richie was sure it was Eddie’s voice. It echoed through the whole house and into the room Richie was still in. He needed to move. Move! He concentrated on making his legs walk out of the room. Once he managed to get out he was met with Bill who looked just as frightened as Richie felt. They kept down the stairs together and stood with the rest of the losers, all looking at Eddie cradling his arm and backed into a corner with that horrible thing, with It, looming over him. It turned the other 6 kids and lunged towards them.
Richie sat up so fast he probably got whiplash. This was the second time this week. He stayed hunched over in bed for a few minutes, trying to steady his breathing and erratic heart rate. After it became somewhat normal, he threw his sweat soaked shirt off and lied back on the bed. There was something different about this dream. He remember something. He actually remembered something. It was Eddie. He was in Richie’s dream, but he was younger. He tried to recall what was happening in the dream but fails. All he knows is that Eddie was definitely there.
He was still trembling when he brought his fingertips to the bridge of his nose. He remembered Eddie. Why Eddie? Why would he be present in such a horrifying dream? Richie reached over to the night stand, pulled a cigarette out of the package, and lit it once against his lips. He exhaled slow and shaky then ran the free hand through his matted curls. He kept his hand tangled in his hair and lied awake the rest of the night.
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Eddie liked to think of himself as a calm and collected person. If his anxiety didn’t get in the way he could keep his cool and that was a quality he took pride in. Now even with this helpful attribute, he was not calm right now and there was no fucking reason as to why.
He was sitting on his bed alone with a text book open across his legs and The Smiths was playing softly through his Bluetooth speaker in the corner of the room. He had probably read the same sentence three times over but he just couldn’t retain the words that his eyes scanned over. Again... Richie had asked Eddie if they could study together one day at the end of their shared class. The two had become good friends over the course of a week. They were now very close and it happened in such a short amount of time it was kind of astounding how quickly they clicked. It was so easygoing. Richie said he would stop by and come to Eddie’s dorm to study together. According to Richie, he needed help. However, Eddie was pretty skeptical of this, he had seen Richie in class and he seemed naturally smart. Of course, this didn’t stop Eddie from saying yes. He really did enjoy Richie’s company, more then he thought he would, and more then he would like to admit. He couldn’t figure out if this was a good thing or a bad thing. He didn’t want to become dependent on anyone. He wouldn’t do that, it’s fine...he won’t let that happen.
There was a rhythmic knock on his door and Eddie snapped out of his thoughts to get up and open it for nine other then the man of this thoughts. Richie stood in the doorway wearing a rainbow knit sweater and the signature black jeans with clunky boots and bright blue painted nails to tie the whole look together. He looked exhausted, Eddie couldn’t help but focus on the bags that stood out from under his eyes. He felt a pinch in the back of this throat.
“G’afternoon Eddie Spaghetti, looking as cute as ever on this fine Friday of September.” He gave a two finger salute as he entered the room. Making himself right at home, he flopped down onto Eddie’s neat bed. Eddie cautiously sat down next to him, keeping some distance between them as an attempt to listen to his previous thoughts.
“Not my name.”
“Yes it is and you love it.” He reaches up to ruffle Eddie’s hair. Eddie shoved the arm away before he could mess it up further and shifted the book back in front of him as Richie took his boots off.
“Okay so, I was thinking we could start off with the theory of... what are you doing?” Richie was pulling the sweater over his head and his white undershirt had ridden up with it, exposing the smooth skin underneath. Eddie had to resist the urge to reach out and out his hands there and move them up, up, up... He forced his eyes back to Richie’s face.
“It’s hot in your room.” He threw the sweater over the back of Eddie’s desk chair. “I mean I get that it’s September and all, but it’s really not that cold out yet.” He settled himself back on the bed and put his head on Eddie’s lap where the textbook once was. Eddie made a note of what was happening but didn’t dare move. They stayed in this position and talked for awhile. They started off with study materials but got distracted easily and moved on to other subjects; they talked about their roommates, music, their families, a few high school things, touching just on the surface of each subject, careful not to go too into depth. It was all just so easy, it was so easy to talk to each other. It was comfortable.
“You’ll never guess it. I’m telling you, give up now.” Eddie said with a smirk. His hand had ended up playing with the ends of Richie’s curls subconsciously. Richie was trying the guess Eddie’s top three favorite bands and or artists of all time. He had only gotten the first two so far, The Smiths and David Bowie. These were too easy to figure out, Eddie’s playlist he had going currently gave him away.
“Is It Beach Boys? I feel like you would like them.” Eddie tapped his forehead with the back of his hand playfully.
“No it’s not. Wrong again, I’m telling you to give it up.” Eddie carted a hand through Richie’s hair at the roots and felt the boy relax over his legs and sigh softly.
“Hey Eddie, you wanna know something?” He asked completely dropping the previous subject. Eddie stiffened some when he heard the change of tone in his voice. He swallowed.
“Yeah sure.”
“You were in a dream I had the other night.” Eddie laughed lightly at this.
“Ha. Was it a sex dream? More importantly, was I any good?” Richie’s mouth grew into an intoxicating smile.
“Well I don’t remember it, but it sure as hell can be if you want it to be.” The smile lingered for a moment and then a more earnest look too hold of his sharp features. “It’s just that. I don’t remember it. I don’t ever remember them. But this time was different because when I woke up, I remembered something. And that something is you. You were there.” Eddie’s eyebrows were now furrowed in thought after hearing this.
“Tell me about them. What do you know about these dreams? When they occur and stuff.” Richie nodded and moved on the bed until he was sitting in front of Eddie with his long legs crisscrossed. Richie proceeded to tell him about how he has had nightmares for a long, long time, for as long as he could remember. And how they were so terrifying that he tried to stay awake to prevent them and that’s what brought the insomnia. And how no matter how hard he tries, he can’t remember anything from the dreams.
Except me. He remembered me. Eddie thought. When Richie finished, Eddie didn’t know what to say. He was biting his finger nail nervously and trying desperately to find the right words somewhere in his mind. He wanted to help Richie so badly. Eddie hated to admit it but listening to Richie talk about this -something that obviously bothered him deeply- broke his heart. He has to help.
“Richie. Why do you think you remembered me?” That was a pretty good place to start, Eddie thought so.
“I’m honestly not sure. Maybe because I trust you? I value you greatly as my friend, and my subconscious was telling me to go to you- someone I trust -for advice.” Richie was looking down at his hands instead of Eddie’s eyes when he spoke. Eddie watched him take his glasses off and nervously clean the lenses with the end of his tee shirt. Eddie took the glasses from his hands and breathed on the glass to fog them up and clean them better.
“I’ll help you Rich. In anyway I can. I trust you too. I don’t know why I trust you so much. It’s strange because I’m normally... I don’t know... closed off I guess. But I do trust you and I will do whatever I can to help.” Eddie offers a warm smile and puts the frames back onto Richie’s face, accidentally brushing his cheek when he pulls his hand back.
“Thank you Eds.” And Eddie is taken aback a little by how sincere he looks and sounds right now. Like he is giving himself up and Eddie can really tell he means it when he said he trusts Eddie.
“You’re welcome.” They are silent until Eddie speaks again. “Okay well we should probably actually do some studying because it’s 9:45 and we haven’t done anything.” Eddie grabbed the long forgotten textbook and Richie rolled onto his stomach to listen.
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Thank you so much for reading!!!❤️ Let me know if you have any notes or comments or anything! and if you would like to be added to the taglist!:)
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#cute richie and eddie#beep beep richie#richie tozier#it richie#eddie kaspbrak#richie x eddie#reddie fanfiction#reddie au#reddie college au#reddie#reddie fic#reddie fanfic#bill denbrough#pennywise#mike hanlon#beverly marsh#it fanfiction#it fandom#it college au#it 1990#it 2017#losers club#the losers club#stanley uris#ben hanscom#college au#beepbeep i write#remember me reddie fic
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a guy that i’d never be into
*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧
A/N: not a challenge! (mUsiCaL reference on the title ahem). super late, but a lot of late fics are coming this week so head’s up! These whole 2k words take place on the 28th of December (yes ik, almost a month ago lol). Thanks, @eloiseduval for the rp and all the girls involved in the fleur birthday rp that is referenced here! I couldn’t include the actual rp cause it would be super long fic and I’m already late on other things. Getting back to it: Have fun. forgive typos, grammar issues, the usual. I made this in the last few hours with my small timeframe and feel like it sucks and i’m sorry, but Crooks talk here.
*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧
Maybe I’m a bad kisser. That’s why he thought it was a mistake. Oh god, what am I saying?
I punched the bag again and sighed. I was not one to worry about this stuff and yet here I was. Two kisses was all it took to become a mistake.
I clenched my jaw at the thought, ready to hit the bag again, but my resolve came to an end as my shoulders slumped and I took a deep breath. Reaching for the punching bag with my hands, I held it in place and leaned my forehead against it, heartbeat ringing in my ears.
Maybe he had kissed me to try it out. Hence it became a mistake. He risked our friendship for a childhood crush he realized wasn’t that meaningful in the end. He probably regretted kissing me. He was too sweet and I was the girl punching a bag.
Coming off abrasive. Rough around the edges. With harsh humor. Guys didn’t like that...which was the reason I’d started adopting the attitude when I was around the annoying ones. I had dropped it a bit when around him though... because he’d finally stopped earning it.
I didn’t have to be mean if he wasn’t looking for a fight. He made me laugh. Bickering had become fun instead of irritating. Both our smiles had become more genuine. But maybe he’d reconsidered how he felt—if he ever truly felt like that at all—and settled it was a mistake.
A bitter taste joined the word every single time I thought of it now. Was it my dignity hurt or my feelings?
That night, at Fleur’s party, was the first time I spoke to Brooks after our talk on Christmas morning. I guess not that long had passed—only three days really—but it somehow felt wrong. He hadn’t used the signal to meet me and plan our way out of the palace to crash Harrison Levi's party on New Year's Eve. I hadn't either.
Though we agree the kiss meant nothing, there was some stupid, unspoken rule to avoid each other. I took a deep breath and told myself to act normal when he arrived at the birthday. If we both tried, we’d be back to how things were soon enough. We had to be.
For the sake of our teamwork.
For the sake of our friendship.
In my room, after the party, Eloise sat on my bed and I, on the couch across from it, doing my best to focus on advising her as best I could. Surprisingly, Nate was her current problem. Some sort of argument had happened.
It sounded mostly like Nate had personal doubts and said the wrong things, making Eloise upset. Then it blew up in their faces. The only way to fix it was to talk it out and try to understand the circumstances. Nonetheless, I had no doubt they would figure it out. Eloise was beginning to accept a conversation between them was inevitable after our talk had been going for a while and a few pillow hits from me had happened.
As she lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, I focused on the window next to my desk. The fireworks that had gone out on Christmas Eve replayed in my head as my thoughts drifted back to him. The thought that Brooks and I would have to head out to the city in less than two days loomed.
It hadn’t been too bad at the party. We just had to handle being alone and we’d be okay. We’ve done that before. It’ll be fine. Just use the signal and— a pillow flew in my direction to interrupt my thoughts. I barely managed to dodge it, giving Eloise a puzzled look after she sat up. Jeez, pillows are my weapon, woman.
“What was up with you and Brooks?” she asked with a flat look. “You guys were acting weird with each other. More so than usual.”
I waved it away and pointed out she was changing the subject. She rolled her eyes but didn’t deny it, instead claiming she wasn’t imagining things.
“Nothing happened…” Even I knew I wasn’t doing my best at lying.
“You know, you can tell me things, Clove.” She cracked a smile after her cautious tone. “I’ve been told I’m a good listener,” she held up her hands in surrender, “but if you don’t want to tell me, I understand.”
“Good listener, huh?”
She nodded patiently and I turned to the window again.
I’d grown close to Eloise after all this time. I knew she would try to help, talk it out with me, but I’d never talked about boys or kisses with anyone. Firstly, because I’d never kissed anyone, but secondly, because whenever old friends talked about boys I mostly listened and commented in a general way. I never talked to them about the guys I liked. That only led to gossip and problems—
—not to say I liked Brooks. I mean, I liked him. As a guy. But not like that... Okay, maybe a little, but that’s irrelevant at this point.
Figuring there was no way to approach the topic if I was still trying to lie to myself, I changed the subject too. “Do you think they’ll let the families come soon?”
I wondered what having my parents around would be like in the Elite. Probably a mess considering my father was very likely on the other side of my conspiracy with Brooks, but then I wondered how Dad would react to news of us kissing. That was bound to be...even weirder.
“I hope so. I’d really love to see mine soon. That happens with the Elite, right?” I could hear Eloise talk, but my thoughts kept going.
If things weren’t so messed up I could almost imagine Brooks stuttering to talk to my dad. After so many years of not really interacting, talking with the father of the girl he kissed would definitely make him nervous.
Well, except he claims it all meant nothing, so why would he care?
“Clove?”
“Brooks and I kissed,” I blurted out, snapping out of my thoughts.
Eloise blinked at me before her jaw dropped a little. “You- I’m sorry, you guys kissed? Kissed?”
How many types of “kissed” are there? Mouth agape for a moment as well, I could only blink back. It felt almost surreal to admit it. “We kissed. He kissed me. I kissed him back. For a moment.” I pressed a hand against my forehead and muttered, “Great, I’m clearly not forgetting it anytime soon.”
Her eyebrows furrowed, taking in the information. “You kissed him back. Okay... Wait, when did this happen?”
I groaned in frustration, standing up and pacing the room. “The ball. It came out of nowhere and you would expect me to pull away and flip, but that’s not the first thing I did. And then we acted like nothing happened and avoided each other in the morning, but we couldn’t avoid each other forever, and—”
“Clove, slow down,” she chose her words carefully, “you said you couldn’t avoid each other forever, does that mean you talked about it?”
I scoffed sightly at the memory. “Yeah, we talked. Apparently, we agreed it was a mistake.” My hands went up in despair, making a hand gesture I couldn’t even describe as if that could explain my frustration. “I can’t stop thinking about it, however.”
She raised an eyebrow when I sighed. “Doesn’t sound like you think it was a mistake, then.”
I clenched my jaw at her words, pushing any personal thoughts aside. “It was. Heat of the moment, hormones...call it whatever you want.”
“You’re right, it could have been the heat of the moment. But,” she hesitated, “maybe it wasn’t. You said yourself you can’t stop thinking about it. Would it be so bad if it wasn’t a mistake?”
“We agreed it was. He thought it was...So it has to be. I just don’t know how easily I’ll be able to act like it didn’t happen around him and that’s annoying and problematic.”
“Sometimes people say things they don’t really mean, Clove. I’m sure this is just as unfamiliar to him as it is for you. As for how to act, you just have to take it one day at a time.” I ignored her sympathetic smile and walked over to the bed, letting myself fall on it, face landing straight on the mattress.
My voice was muffled by the blankets. “I hate him.”
A small chuckle escaped her as she patted my head. “I know.”
“He needs to learn to control his hormones.”
“He’s a teenage boy.” Silence, then, “So... how was it?
Oh, shut up. I grumbled something incoherent and I could picture her smirk as she leaned a little closer, asking, “What was that?”
I lifted my head from the bed and yelled, “NO COMMENTS.”
She laughed, flopping down on her back. “Brooks, I'm impressed.” She went silent again and I pressed my face back on the mattress. “What um, what does this mean for Nate?”
“Oh, God... I committed treason.” I jumped back up. “With his brother!”
Sitting up with me, she began, “Nate is an understanding guy, I don’t think he’ll look at it that way. But it also depends on how you two feel about each other.”
So far we just seemed like friends and I told her as much. There was no real point in telling Nate about me and Brooks though. Especially since...there was no me and Brooks. It wouldn’t change anything. It would only be the last confirmation to send me home--which was reasonable, of course--but I didn’t want to go home yet. I had the conspiracy. I needed confirmation that my dad was involved or I wouldn’t be able to drop it. Also, I’d miss a lot of people here.
I simply wasn’t ready to leave the palace.
Eloise shook her head. “You won't have to leave. And... I wouldn't want you to go home either.”
I smiled a bit. “You’d clearly be lost without me.”
“I'd be fine, thank you very much.” She used my weapon of choice against me again after an eye roll, but I only laughed at the soft hit of the pillow.
“Who would you talk to, if not me?”
“I’d probably go bother Brooks or something.”
I crossed my arms. “Watch out in case he decides the heat of the moment will get him again.” He never technically answered he wouldn’t have kissed someone else in my place… I secretly hoped he wouldn’t.
“Sure, Brooks would totally get caught in the heat of the moment and kiss me. That’d be like kissing a brother.”
Sighing, I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah…Do you also think he likes me?
I’d been wondering the past days if everyone had seen it but me. After considering it for a minute, Eloise admitted she thought he did but wasn’t aware. I’d sensed some people thought that since Marshall’s sleepover--birthday girl included. Eloise had never been too subtle, Barnes was always suspicious of him whenever he saw us together and Quinn had seemed to have her own thoughts about it too. I had told myself everyone was just trying to be annoying.
Eloise couldn’t be more proud to say she’d seen it coming though, and I shook my head at her smugness, unable to smile and mumble, “maybe you should be Watson.”
“Watson?”
I cleared my throat, realizing she wouldn’t get the reference to a conversation she wasn’t involved in. Remembering the debate I’d had with Brooks about who of us was Holmes and who Watson at the ball was a little strange. When I thought about it now all the little mental notes I’d made about how close we were and the way he’d wrapped his hand around mine stood out more. Whoever was who didn’t matter anymore, however. I wouldn’t want someone else to replace him as my partner in crime. Or maybe it was better to say against crime.
“Uh, just an inside joke, never mind.”
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