remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry. 

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!

1. I just recently following your blog. And I find that we have same opinion for the most part, or from your tags anyway. This by no means that you’d agree with me but can I share my opinion with you. Like I think that so many people have been too critical about his solo works. We really dont know anything. I feel like, Louis have been so appreciative about the opportunity he got, but it looks like we as fan cant even give him a chance. What if he make do with what he got. What if all this was..

2. the only thing on his hand. He said it himself, limited people to work with. Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it. Its reality. That doesnt mean Louis dont deserve it. And people tend to forget, what you find rewarding could

3. be different from others. We want the best for him, and thats just it.. Why does it needs to be by the other 1D guys standard. I’m really emotional talking about Louis. Like, I want to respect what he do. I dont know the struggle he faced. This is the guy who hates their merch, their early music. I feel like the fandom so quick to talk but rarely listen. I dont claimed to know him, but I feel that Hes grateful for this opportunity. And I take my cue from him for the life HE live. thankyou :)

wow i . . got an ask! sorry it took me a while to answer this babe (depending on when u sent it) i dont come on this blog alot, i kinda just made a tumblr as an outlet for my thoughts and frustrations and to have a place to talk about louis lol

anyways i think we do have pretty similar feelings about the way things are going - mostly mine are just summed up by ‘idk what to think but i love louis and his music’ lol 

To be real tho, i’ve been a 1D fan since i was 12, in 2011, and i was a larrie from like 2012 to pretty much a few months ago (not that im an ‘anti’ now or anything, i just dont kno what to think). For most of my time as a 1D fan (and especially a larrie) the culture w/ us has been, for better or worse, to hyper-analyze and doubt (for lack of better words) everything we’re given and told. Tbh, since i changed my perspective a few months ago (mostly bc of solo!harry), ive pretty much just been constantly reevaluating everything ive known for the past 5/6 years and i really just have pretty much NO idea what to think, whatsoever. 

When it comes to solo!louis, ive just been trying to take it as it comes. key word is trying, bc 5/6 years of having a rock-solid idea of the “”truth”” (our ideas about the boys, management, their relationships, etc) is alot to overcome when u try to be objective. 

When u say that ppl have been too critical of louis and his stuff, im not really sure which ppl u mean or if u just mean in general - ive definitely seen some ppl who seem to be critical just for the sake of it, or bc they actually dont like louis, which, ya, thats definitely too critical. But for some of the ppl being critical, it seems like theyre coming from the same place i was before i changed my perspective - if i hadnt been so put-off by solo!harry, i probly would still be just as dedicated to the fandom “”truth”” and i would be critical of solo!louis like i was/we were of everything else. 

Basically, at this point, i think its just habit for alot of ppl to be critical and cynical. Or, even more, its generally more comfortable (especially when weve been telling ourselves for 5+ years that we know the “truth”) to be critical (in an all-knowing way like when ppl say “those stunts are so transparent” or something) than to admit that theres alot we dont kno. Or to admit that louis hasnt had the opportunities we thought he would have/we think he deserves, and theres not really anything to do about it.

Are they right to be critical? I honestly totally dont kno. But basically im done being critical just bc other ppl are - if something strikes me as wrong and worth being critical of, right off the bat, then ill criticize it. But if everything seems ok to me and i have no reservations and i see someone else complaining and making a big deal about it, i guess thats how i decide when someone is being too critical. Thats when it seems to me like theyre being critical just for the sake of it or bc thats what theyre used to. I think its important in our culture (1D fan/louie culture), at least for me in the place im in now, to just trust ur own instinct instead of looking to others to see if things are good or not.

At first i was a little confused by ur ask(s) bc it seems a little contradictory - u talk about how louis didnt get the best opportunities, and then u say ppl are being too critical. But i think i understand (maybe im projecting tho, bc this is how i feel about it). I think what i (and u, if im understanding ur ask rite) am feeling is that ppl want to place blame - we all want the best for louis, and we’re upset that it doesnt seem that he got it. We all love and appreciate louis, so it can be hard to see how other ppl wouldnt and how he wouldnt get all the opportunities we think he deserves. So we go off on his team, simon cowell, his record label, the other boys, etc., and we criticize them and everything louis puts out bc its through them/connected to them. 

But it really all comes down to the fact that regardless of what we think louis deserves, we all know that what he gets probly wont match up to that. Youre rite, he literally said that he didnt get that many opportunities, and we have to accept that. No matter how much we love and admire him, we have to realize that for various reasons the rest of the world doesnt (at least not yet). He wasnt the most famous member of 1D, or the one pushed as the most talented, and the fact that he has a unique voice makes him kindof an acquired taste. 

We have to realize that he is, like u said, doing the best w what hes got. We dont have the power to give him more, so from my perspective im just enjoying what we get and supporting it in every way i possibly can. Bc thats what being a fan is about - enjoying what u get, and supporting it so u continue to get it. We can wish he had more opportunities available, and even ask for what we want from him in polite and lighthearted ways - like tweeting him about his album, or nominating him for awards (like teen choice and stuff), or posting/tweeting about how we wish we had a video/photoshoot/etc as long as its nice and not demanding. But ya basically we are not in a position to give him opportunities so our only job (if we want it, which, being a louie, i do) is to support what he puts out. 

You said: “Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it.” Basically, i totally agree w this and i think its totally ok to just enjoy what we get from louis w/o constantly worrying about how were getting it/what we ‘should’ be getting.

I am frustrated, and always have been, that louis doesnt get what the other boys do, but thats just the way it is. We have to accept that there isnt always someone to blame - for various reasons, louis has had less opportunities than the other boys, and theres nothing we can do about it. I would even go as far to say its not necesarily an injustice - like u said, he isnt the other boys, so we cant expect him to have the same situation as them. All we can do is support him and his music as much as we can/want to. 

anyway im SO sorry for turning this ask into a literal essay, i guess i had a lot to say and honestly im not sure how much of it is coherent or even on topic, it took me like an actual hour to write this all out and when i reread it… it didnt make as much sense as it did in my head lol. anyway i do think we hav some similar feelings and stuff and i really apreciate hearing ur thoughts! I hope we both get to enjoy bty (im so fuckin excited!!! from the teasers hes shared already its gonna be SO GOOD!!!) and i hope more good things happen for louis! tysm for sharing ur thoughts w me! 💙