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#idk people just dont like seeing holiday stuff when it isnt around that time which i get but like frosty has always been a
saintharvest · 2 years
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dont mind me i just wanna ramble
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lettersformiah · 2 years
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9:37am, 7 jul
hey bubs. only two days of placement! lets go. in my head its friday but its not and im so sad about it. i was late again hehehe i always am though bc i have no sense of urgency bc its fucking school. only late by like a halfa (or technically an hour if you count acg) but yeah i woke up and was like non and then woke up at like 8:15? but yeah. got the 9:25 bus and the worker people who do the stop and go signs had to stop them so i could cross the road hehehe. they were very very nice. the construction, i learnt, is on a power line. dont know what happened there but hopefully it gets fixed soon. had glimpse of us stuck in ym head this morning so ive just been listening to it on repeat. i keep having to sign in at the office so mrs copley doesnt come for me about being truant hehe but how many times can i go there in a week and press the silly buttons about missing my bus or family or sleeping in. its literally a game to me to just fucking press whatever button i see first. getting out of french next period! or at least half of it because im gonna hang out with hannah. none of my friends know im here but theyve also stopped texting me asking where i am so im glad they are just like eh she will get here when she gets here. i dont know what to say to hannah. what do i talk about. i feel like i cant be as open with her as id liek and i know thats so detrimental but like,, ive never been good at being 100% honest with my counselors and stuff so! idk. maybe i just talk about internals and your parents and you obvs and then?? idk job stuff and my dad? and my sister. i dont know i guess i have a lot to say just as an update to my life. also! sorry for falling asleep last night bubba, i know you werent home and its a bit of a mb. its very very sweet of you to stay on call though bubba. makes me so happy :*] even tho rn joji is making me so sad bro like. :'[ oh! geo is actually due first week term 2 ^^ im happy about that bc then i can do it while i wait around for u to be done with uni. but yeah! the reliever :l told me that she wants as much as she can get from us tomorrow but to have all of it done over the holidays. which is nice for me bc then i can do the excellence stuff and get everything done. im so glad. i love mrs haggart sm hehehe shes a banging teacher fr and i hope i get her next year. bio will um be something. maybe he will say just to get it done by tomorrow which i can do all of it tn. and i can write my english! im so fucking happy with it. like smh and my writing isnt amazing by any means, but i found a nice system and sparknotes is like helping me so much so i owe my grade to them for deadass just giving me quotes and themes. i love the internet bro. imagine if i had to do it all from my own fucking brain. id be so pressed. but yeah! i dont know what the last two texts are gonna be but ill just search around sparknotes for some stuff and just randomly search novels ive read in my life. maybe i will actually do the maze runner, surely its on there yk? my nose is all sniffly bubba >:( the outside is pretty chilly and geo is warm as. the temperature difference being a bitch to my poor poor nose. so dog hehe but yeah! idk bubba. i love you! geo will be over in a second so this was just a teeny update on my morning and all that. i love you sm and thank u for everything. mwahmwhamwahwmah
talk soon
-mads<3
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neverdoingmuch · 3 years
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now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)
wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”
but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere
they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop
when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff
anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?
and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica
he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book
when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake
he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does
like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?
pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.
nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch
wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you
wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin
so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn
wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 
and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)
so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)
wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??
he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.
he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week
wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 
he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)
also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible
by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 
he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing
cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made
(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)
wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot
cue lan wangji
lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 
while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing
lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot
he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do
as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 
he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot
anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 
i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out
they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 
when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university
lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow
they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on
and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 
wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??
anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills
anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!
lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.
regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 
lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??
he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long
after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books
and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time
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foilfreak · 3 years
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2/2. I also have my own headcannon about them and the whole band but most of the times his exaggerated both ways. Either he’s too bad or suddenly he’s so good it doesn’t even feel like him. Same with his relation with Noodle. It’s barely portrayed as a father/daughter, mostly from what I see is him being a total bastard to her which in my opinion isn’t true. Yes, he does repeat his own father mistakes, mostly on Stu, but I highly doubt he would abuse a child and let her think no one loves her
(Here’s part 1 of this ask for clarity: Please don’t be sorry for a long answer, I appreciate it so much, that you took your time and also because we are on the same page here! Him being flawed and not perfect doesn’t mean he was bad to her. He even admitted himself he thinks of her as a daughter. Also that part how he’s portrayed by fandom. I don’t like it also. I’m not a biggest fan of 2Doc because of how aggressive they show him and how stupid Stu is in them. There’s only one I read so far that’s good and I can’t remember the name.)
Ah thank you friend your words mean a lot and I love that there are people who actually want to talk to me about the stuff that I like and think is interesting and share some of my opinions!!! Yes exactly Murdoch’s flawed personality shouldnt inherently mean that he was a bad influence much less abusive to her as well. Yes there have been at least one or two instances where Murdoc flat out said that he saw Noodle as a daughter so for people to try and argue that it isn’t true is kind of pointless since, whether you agree with it or not, its stated directly in canon. Now of course its a little hipocritical of me to say things like “oh well its stated in canon therefor you should all just accept it”, especially considering the number of middle fingers ive shown to the canons of all different media throughout the years, but even without the canon statement there is concrete evidence showing that murdoc legitimately cares about noodle as a daughter even with his fucked up personality.
Ya i can’t say im a big fan of how he tends to be portrayed by the fandom either, and the worst part is that its not entirely because i think their characterization of him is 100% off from how he acts in canon, but rather they take what they see in canon and then rev it up to 11, but the main problem i have is that its still somewhat true to the source material because that’s how he’s portrayed in canon as well, especially when it comes to 2D. 2D has been Murdoc’s punching bag from the very beginning and while it was kind of funny in the beginning, as the phases went on and Murdoc continued treating 2D like absolute garbage, it became clear, especially by phase 3, that there was never going to be a happy, healthy friendship between the 2 of them. There are instances in which they seem to get along like best friends without issue, like the various interviews we see in phases 2 and 4, but then a music video will come out and Murdoc will be right back to beating up on 2D like nothing good every happened between them. 2D is a ship that i tentatively like, but it heavily depends on how Murdoc and 2D are portrayed and like you said I don’t enjoy when Murdoc is nothing but an abusive asshole and 2D is too stupid to realize what’s going on. I have read a few good 2D fics in the past where there’s a good mix between Murdoc having issuesTM but not being outright abusive to those around him and 2D being his usual kind of ditsy self but he was also a lot more perceptive than canon 2D is usually portrayed as being. it was nice and the plots were very interesting and it was a really unique but faithful take on how a healthy 2Doc relationship might come about. Its been quite a few years since i read these so i dont remember what theyre called and idk if they would still hold up today but I enjoyed them back when i first read them in 2015 is when i think it was.
A lot of people have their own personal headcanons as to how the band operates and that’s totally fine, im the same way, but i would be lying if i said that most people tended to portray the band (especially murdoc) in ways that I personally don’t agree with. It’s nice to read a fic or a comic where Murdoc is being nice and showing a bit more care and consideration than he normally does, and I do think he’s capable of showing those emotions when the situation calls for it, but some creators do take it a little far and after a while it stops feeling like Murdoc, or vice versa when they make him so bad that its just too much. Maybe a lot of people don’t see the father/daughter relationship between Murdoc and Noodle like we do, and that’s fine I mean people are free to interpret Gorillaz in any way they like, but it really does bring my gears when people get on here and say that Murdoc wasn’t good to Noodle when she was a kid even tho there’s literally no evidence in canon suggesting that Murdoc ever did or would directly hurt her in any way. Murdoc is a product of a really shitty and horrible childhood but like i said before that doesnt mean he is inherently going to treat Noodle, or any other child, in that same manner or make her feel as tho she isnt special or loved.
Again thanks for the ask, these are so much fun to answer and I hope you are having a wonderful holiday!!! 🥰
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themagicaltunaa · 3 years
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Answer all the questions
well i have nothing to do so sure
1. What have you eaten today? 
some toast for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and some cereal for dinner
2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?
never kissed anyone, don't really care about that
3. What color shoes did you last wear?
light grey sneakers
4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?
Jeremy did, when I was watching his Alien Isolation stream on monday
5. What is your favorite scent?
I love the smell freshly baked goods
6. What is your favorite season? Why?
I love fall. I just love the aesthetic of the season, and my favorite holiday is during fall. I would love to experience it one day
7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?
lol nope. I was barely able to do it as a kid. If I tried now i’m pretty sure i’ll break something.
8. What color are your nails?
the regular pink color? I don’t paint my nails
9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?
aw geez, uhhh idk maybe like a tiny star or something
10. What is something you find romantic?
i dont know romantic things 
11. Are you happy?
eh
12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?
no not really
13. Dogs or Cats?
cats. i like dogs too, but sometimes they’re too much to deal with. i’m more comfortable being with cats
15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?
museum
15. What is your style?
my style is “im trying”
16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?
stay up all night to catch up on videos
17. Are you in a relationship or single?
single babeyyyy
18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?
nothing, because im not attracted to anyone
19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?
i dont like celebrities
20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?
i’m pretty sure i’m holding on to a lot of stuff, but I can’t seem to remember anything specific. if this question means metaphorically, the answer still works
21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?
I went to a drive thru haunted house with my 2 friends, and after we got some taco bell and went to the beach to eat our food. we sat there for like 10 minutes before it started to rain on us
22. Have you recently made any big decisions?
nope. I try not to in general , I hate having to make any sort of big decision because I starting stressing 
23. Were you ever in a school play?
I’ve always had stage fright so no
24. What movie would you use to describe your life?
uhhhh, I dont watch enough movies to pick one
25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? 
oh there’s plenty of things that I've dreamed of doing, but I just can’t do it because of anxiety 
26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
I dont like sharing
27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?
uhhh idk? maybe the whole makeup culture thing? but it’s not like it irritates me I just don’t get it. I can’t really think of a second thing
28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?
too much to list
29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?
fuck if i know
30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?
can’t think of anything rn
31. How long was your longest relationship?
never been in one
32. Have you ever been in love?
pretty sure I have not
33. Are you currently in love?
nope
34. Why did your last relationship end?
see question 31
35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?
not wearing any atm. actually, I just don’t wear jewelry in general
36. When was the last time you cried and why?
I think it was last week? I don’t remember why, it was probably something stupid
37. Name someone pretty.
the anon that sent me this ask
38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?
oh! I got a few gifts from my bestie :)
39. Do you get jealous easily?
no
40. Have you ever been cheated on?
no
41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?
sure
42. Ever had detention?
no because I was a good bean in school
43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?
city. the countryside sounds nice, but just the thought of being out in the middle of nowhere especially at night makes me nervous 
44. What do people call you?
by my name
45. What was the last book you read?
I do not remember. It’s been years since I’ve read a book
46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?
uhhh idk
47. What kind of music do you listen to?
anything that catches my fancy. I don’t really stick to one kind of genre
48. How tall are you?
my doctor said I’m allowed to say i’m 5′2
49. Do you like kids?
they’re alright. I can handle be around them for a bit, but I would never want to have any 
50. Favorite fruits?
watermelon, starfruit, and tangerines
51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
jeans
52. What’s your earliest memory?
I was like 3-4, and I was at disney world with my family. I remember seeing a stage show of Bear in the Big Blue house, and I remember walking around ToonTown when it still existed
53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?
i hope not
54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
behind it
55. Do you have a collection of anything?
I used to collect seashells as a kid and I still have some of the collection somewhere in my closet. I wanna start a new collection of something but idk what
56. Do you save money or spend it?
i try to save it
57. What would your dream house be like?
something cozy and not too big, with a cat or 2
58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?
its 11pm at the time of answering this, i really can’t think of anything to fill a list rn
59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?
see the previous question
60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
save the dog. i hate my job anyways so I don’t care
61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
I would definitely tell my closest friends, and some of my family members, probably my mom’s side of the family. If I had the money to, I would like to travel to some places that i’ve always wanted to go to. I would have a month to accept that i’m gonna die so i think i would be fine. i’d rather get plenty of time to know i’m dying rather than like last minute. this has been a topic that i’ve been thinking of for a while now, not because I’m like thinking about death or anything, I just need something to kill time with at work
62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
a heart?
63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
aw cmon, I can’t just think of stuff like that on the spot. I don’t even know where I would want to go
64. Do you like the beach?
It’s nice, especially in the early morning when everything is still calm and the beach isn’t packed with people yet
65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?
no? wtf does someone special mean?
66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!
Doesn’t everyone have a middle name? But yeah i do and i hate it so im not saying anything
67. Do you talk to yourself?
in my head all the time
68. Describe your hair.
brown, curly, very long because I haven’t cut it in almost a year, it’s very annoying
69. What is the meaning of life.
I wish i knew
70. What is your ideal partner like?
no one
71. Do you want to get married?
no
72. Do you want to have kids?
 ew no
73. Like or dislike your family?
 they’re bearable
74. Are you Chunky or Slim?
I’m more than chunky, i’m just straight up fat
75. Would you consider yourself smart?
lol no. I’m an absolute dumbass
76. What would you change about your life?
everything if i could
77. Religious or Not?
no not really
78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
I don’t drink so this would never happen
79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
it sure isnt because no one is there
80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
uhhhh no. I don’t really care tbh
81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
idk
82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
i’m not opening the door because no one is there
83. Do you like when people play with your hair?
ehh not really. It’ll just make it frizzy
84. Do you like bubble baths?
no
85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?
I need to drive in order for that to happen
86. Have you ever danced in the rain?
no. its not fun getting soaked in the rain
87. Do you trust anyone with your life?
not really? 
88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?
why does god allow suffering
89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)
1.greece
2. peru
3.disney world only because I have not been to all the parks yet, also i can bug my brother while i’m there
theres a lot more but i’m too tired to fill out the rest of the list
90. How was your day today?
it was fine
91. Play an instrument?
used to play mellophone/french horn in band in high school. after I graduated I haven’t touched an instrument since
92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.
it’s scary
93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?
aliens as anything that counts as a living organism not of this world, not green little men from mars nonsense. the universe is too big for only life to be on earth. for ghosts, i’m still iffy about them, but that doesn’t mean i’m gonna start walking around haunted places and call the ghosts a bitch
94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?
abosolutely not. every day I regret all the decisions i’ve made through my life. does that mean I’m trying to fix said mistakes or try not to do them again? lol no 
95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?
in my mind i do. I’m too scared of everyone to actually do it
96. When are you vulnerable?
always
97. How much free time do you have?
doesn’t feel like much. saturday and sunday go by way too fast and i feel like when i go home from work theres just not enough to relax. im tired all the time
98. Do you like to go hiking?
never been
99. Odd or Even Numbers?
even
100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?
no because I actually have self preservation. I am also a very big chicken
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that-one-violist · 5 years
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formal apologies this is long, its a mindless vent session so like, dont feel obligated because oof
i hate how grief takes away so much from you. not only do you have to deal with the absence of someone you never could imagine would disappear from your life, but the bills, the house, the clothing, the holidays, the food in the fridge she would have eaten, the things you would have shared with them, the phone calls you would make, having someone to forward emails you didnt understand to, someone to sit next to when youre ill, someone to cry to when life gets tough or when your head hurts for hours unend and it just makes everything harder. i cant share anything with her anymore. i cant be happy or feel proud without it being stained by grief and pain. 
like, i did really well at my juries, maybe not comparatively to others but for me i did. but all i could do was sit in a practice room and cry because i normally would have called her to tell her how proud i was and how much she made this possible for me. but i couldnt. there wouldnt be anyone on the other side, and there never will be.  there was a moment when i read the comments that i just was happy and proud and excited and then i went to grab my phone by reflex and then it just hit and i just broke all over again. 
last night i walked around campus from like 10-11:30 at night just walking aimlessly because i just needed to think and get some exercise and fresh air along the way. everything was fine and then i got to my dorm which at this point is empty im the only one left for exams and i feel like i could have had a minor fucking breakdown? 
i literally just started crying and all i could do was talk to an empty room like i was talking to her on the phone and i tried to share everything with her and tell her how much i miss her even though i was fully aware there was no one there i just felt like i had to and it helped but how fucking crazy do you have to be? i literally even took out the wedding rings that I cleaned because i knew she would have wanted them clean because she was so meticulous so i could fucking “show” her that i got them cleaned. literally what the fuck? like i even openly said like 40 times that “theres like a 99% chance that you dont even exist anymore and then if you do its unlikely youre able to hear me or experience any of this and tehres absolutely no guarantee that if there is something after that ill be able to interact with you but i dont know what to do because telling dad about this trivial stuff that im proud of just isnt the same. its still important but its not you.” and kept going. whats wrong with me? is this just like, grief but a weird version of it? 
why am i going off on here. why is tumblr somehow supposed to help me think through shit? i always have to talk through shit and im 10000% an over-sharer because i think outloud and i think through other people’s reactions and their responses but i dont want to bother anyone with this face to face because its uncomfortable and its been over a month so my “free to be too open or openly sad or openly something related to grief” card is gone and
i used to do this shit on my finsta but a lesser version of it but then people in real life that follow my finsta started to bring it up to me (and by that i mean literally one person but also) and im not trying to concern people and theres a few people i know and love to death that follow me on here and know me irl and i also dont want them to worry but i operate on the slim chance they dont see this shit even though i post fucking bullshit so frequently
i dont know im just saying shit to say it now i really need to just figure out a more personal not so vocal version of this, writing it on a piece of paper does nothing because theres no out in the world to it, idk if that makes me an attention whore but i mean i wouldnt be suprised at this rate with how much i talk about how much this is bothering me 
big
fucking
yoinks (thats yikes but more)
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swayinghummingbirds · 5 years
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i feel like i need to blog more stuff out of me to research my own thoughts ignore me or help me either is welcomed. 
so like i was diagnosed with mdd , panic/anxiety disorder so i know how it goes and how it feels and all that jazz. used to be on medication and not for almost two years. i can usually cope well since while i was on medication ifound many ways to do so. but now ive come across season affective disorder and i gotta say i am not a fucking fan. i cant bring myself to do the coping mechanisms because im fucking cold and there is no sun ever.  
this time last year i felt the exact same way and almost moved back to fl but didnt want to give up on tn yet. but im wondering is it maybe time to give up on it? i have no family here. and my family is expanding and growing without me. which makes it worse. 
ive been where i am for almost a year now and its been good. but there are no sidewalks like anywhere? im so tired of sharing walls. sure, its a townhouse and its pretty big and two floors and fire place but my neighbors are so annoying and for some reason in tennessee so many people think its absolutely okay to let their dogs out with leashes? 
knoxville is a really cool city and ive loved living here but idk if i can stand the winter. and its just a mild winter, idk how yall in the north handle it. i see now why when i moved abck to pa for 8 months my mom had it by the time march came around and we moved back to fl. 
a part of me feels like i might even just get bored with where i am after a certain amount of time considering how i was brought up. i have moved 17 times, which is wild for a child. probably why i have a hard time making friends too. 
tried leaving work yesterday after i got my list done (usually isnt a problem for my manager but the ass. manager always fights me with it). i told him three times i already had 2 1/2 hours of overtime and ill be leaving when im finished but bitch never listens to me and acts like he didnt hear me say it to his damn face.Usually i ask just to be polite and make sure but this time im telling him. kind of snapped on him because the day before i just cried all fucking day and had that feeling in my stomach and felt the same way when i woke up. old me would have called out, one because the position i was in was easily fillable but now im actually needed so i go to do my job and if i get done early that means im working my ass off and sweating like a pig to get done three hours early. (and the girl who does the work on the two days im off never gets the shit down or sets the room or anything up in order to have a good morning because the whole thing is very time sensitive and its very frustrating. also she called out like three times this week and made my week shittier than it needed to be.) like bitch no that doesnt mean i want to stay and help with other things after exerting so much energy that i dont even have in myself to begin with. so anyways i cried and then the manager came and talked to me and was understanding because he is aware of my mental health issues and i forgot steve- the ass manager (assistant manager , but also ass because he can be an ass) was not aware. so all in all i talked to my manager and told him and he was very supportive and then i went to apologize to steve and he reassured me i was valued and adored here which was nice. and i had to basically tell him if im trying to leave early it usually means because im feeling like a crazy bitch whos on the break of a mental breakdown so. quit fighting me. 
so anyways. 
even if i did move back fl ive finally gotten myself where i wanted to be in my job but i guess if it was meant to be the universe will take care of it just like it did when we moved here. 
a week before almost moving back to fl my grandparents came to visit and we were in crossville, which is the half way point from here to where we were living at the time and i was like hey lets try knoxville and the next day we went to look at apartments and as we were looking this place went up for rent almost as if the universe here, ask and you shall receive. because i was only looking at places that was in between the three stores that we could have possibly transferred to because i had no idea which one it was going to be i just new it was going to happen. and then when trying to transfer we my fiancees assistant manager knew the manager at this store here and said that he would take both of us and needed help in the area i wanted to be in and i was like wow amazing its all working out. and it did and it was great and then it got cold. and then holidays came. and birthdays came. and i ive learned so much about myself and i feel like yes i needed this part of my life. and now im not sure if istill need it. 
we have a vision of owning a little home a nice big plot of land near the mountains with a spring and creek on site with woods around. if we kept it up and really searched when the time came yeah im feel like we could find it. but what if i still feel this way when were there? then weve bought a home and it would be harder to get rid of. i have a vision of my own business with yoga. i find myself in capable of moving between the months of decemeber and march. then what. even when i get on to the mat i cant get into the flow. 
and what if we move back to fl. would he resent me for giving up on our dreams? will i be tired of people demanding my time and energy? will i bitch about the heat all the time and the fact that neighbros are every where? probably, yes, yes, and yes. 
but will i resent him for not moving back to spend our lives with our families? will i resent myself for not listening to the feeling in my stomach? or would i resent myself if i did listen to that feeling and gave up on the mountainous dreams. 
i know we would welcomed back with opened arms and i know not many would miss us here. 
the mountains are beautiful and so mystical when there. i wonder how it would be to live there. i always end up feeling so creeped out at some point of hikes because i feel like something is watching us, and i know there is, there is always is whether its and animal or a spirit. but sometimes those spirits, or beings, are just so strong of a force. what if we bought a property with one of those that wouldnt be able to make peace with us? i always imagined if we ended up with a property with strong entities then we would make peace and ring singing bowls and plant luscious plants for them. but what if they hate it all. and what if our neighbors down the street end up being cannabilistic cult people? what if some animal tried to maul my dog (which already happens frequently, shes a chihuahua everything is out to get her). what if something happens at oak ridge? i had no idea i was living next to a giant nuclear power plant thing. 
but then its like okay what if theres a giant hurricane that tears my house down (i had a tree fall on my house during matthew which is one reason why we left) or the storm sturge sweeps my house away. trey is scared of tsunamis, not that one has happened there probably ever, idk but it is a weird fear of his. surprisingly tornados do happen in tn too. 
and a day like today, where trey is working all day and i have the day off. there isnt much to do. its cold out so i cant sit on my patio for a few hours like i would in the summer. i dont like to go shopping. i dont have a friend to hang out with, which is my own fault people im really not a big people person. i have hung out with a couple a few tiems, and idk ij ust would rather not. but if i were in fl i could go hang out with my brother, or treys sister, or the few friends i have there. or go to the beach and sit on my own, because its not fucking weird to sit alone there and usually you dont have to worry about getting mugged. i cant go to the parks here on my own. i cant take my dog for walks around here because there are no side walks and people just look shady af everywhere. 
when i went to visit for my brothers wedding in october i realized how i did not appriciate the plant life naturally around all year round when i lived there for 11 years. i guess mostly because it wasnt until two years ago that i really got in to plants but omg i cant stop imagining what our yard would look like if we were in aplace where things could just be outside all year round. i would take cuttings of my plants andjust put them every where have my own little tropical paradise in my front and back yard. 
i know this all is really sounding one sided atm but this time last year i was having the exact same visions and the exact same thoughts. and i thought about how what if my brother has kids and im up here well hello here we are now and thats happening. i feel like i need to be there. theres even a house for sale on the same street as him and all i could was fantasize what i would do to the house and how i would baby sit for them and be able to see my dog that i left with him because ultimately she was is but we co owned her together and just to be there. and be with my mom. shes living in orland with her boyfriend and i feel like the fact shes goingt o be a grandmother might sway him into moving closer, she hates the city and i imagine shes just as depressed as i am to be away and to be in a city where you dont feel safe to go outside alone. we are creatures of nature and both pisces and very sensitive to everything. 
and what if trey and i have a baby at some point? we have no one here to help us. i was thinkg about how our wedding date is a year and like two months away and i have no one here to help me plan. and for a long itme i always imagined myself getting married at this place called sugar mill gardens, a botanical garden that i had always loved in my home town there. when trey and i got together we would pokemon go there and take clippings, and i still have those plants today. but then this new vision came where we would get married on our future property. i feel like we are still a long way away from buying a house here though. idk if we would be there in time. and since we went back in october all i can think about is getting married in sugar mill. he reproposed to me when we were there and that was so sweet and just made me want to be there instead for it. 
this is very long but these are my constant thoughts that all happen at once and it feels nice to get them out to piece them together and not feel so overwhelmed with all them at one time in layers upon layers of thoughts. sometimes my vision even goes out and i dissociate and just work blurred vision cross eyed for ten minutes, who knows maybe its an hour. im back there by myself for eight hours a day idk. 
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rouge-the-bat · 6 years
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Your OTP for the ask meme?
YEASS itsss shadouge timee :33!!!!!
Who hogs the duvet: neither !! rouge doesnt have much fur so she needs the extra warmth and shadow isnt accustomed to the cold, and neither want to leave the other chilly so they try to make sure theyre both getting plenty of the duvet (which is easy if theyre snuggled right against each other :3)
Who texts/rings to check how their day is going: both, rouge checks up on shadow often bc his mental state isnt exactly in the best shape with all the shit he’s been thru - and shadow maybe does it a bit more often with her bc he gets a bit worried easily (also bc of all the shit he’s been thru djdhfjd)
Who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: defintely rouge, shadow typically just goes for gems and jewelry to gift her (no going wrong with those lol)
Who gets up first in the morning: probably shadow mostly, if rouge is up in the morning before he is its likely that she was just awake all night dhishfjd (bats are nocturnal so,,, plus nighttime good for thievin)
Who suggests new things in bed: i mean itd have to be rouge bc shadow wouldnt have the slightest idea about that sorta stuff fibdjfhfe
Who cries at movies: rouge probably cries at movies a bit less than average amount, shadow on the other hand can be stone cold thru the entirety of an extremely sad movie but then some small moment in an otherwise cheerful/funny movie will send him trying to stifle down tears but completely failing, it depends on what happens and if it hits close to home with his past or fears (tho if its not just him and rouge then he’s much better at keeping himself from crying at all - but when he’s alone with her he’s more comfortable being more emotional and doesnt feel the need to hide it)
Who gives unprompted messages: both, but more often rouge bc she usually does it to relax shadow when he’s tense, which he often is. shadow tends to do it more on the lines of thinking like “this feels really good and i want rouge to feel good too”
How they are when they’re sick: shadow doesnt really get sick ? but when rouge is sick she’s typically kinda grumpy (i mean being sick is annoooyyying) and shadow refuses to leave her side except to get her something until she feels better
Who gets jealous easiest: i dont really see either getting jealous much really ? rouge is flirtatious by nature obviously, which shadow would probably get a bit bothered seeing her flirt with others but it doesnt get to him too much bc he knows that she uses it as a tactic to mess with and even steal from people (and its just kinda ingrained with how she talks normally)- besides, she’d keep any flirting with others to a minimum if shadow’s around anyways
Who collects something unusual: hdkdjdhe well rouge collects gems lol
Who takes the longest to get ready: rouge, i mean she has the hair, makeup, and clothes to do while shadow maybe just has to smooth out his quills. unless he happens to be dressing up too for whatever reason, but still rouge would take longer regardless since she’s more interested in her appearance than shadow is with his (i dont see her taking like a super long time tho)
Who is the tidiest and organized: maybe more shadow by just a bit, i think theyd both like to keep things organized tho
Who gets most excited about the holidays: definitely rouge, shadow just isnt really a festive person lol
Who is the big spoon/little spoon: i think theyd often switch, maybe rouge is more often the big spoon ? its a good position to give him little ear smooches and she can also wrap him up in her wings :3 his quills might be hard to deal with normally but i tend to draw them super poofy so she probably can easily just use them as pillows lol
Who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: they both get super competitive but shadow definitely more so
Who starts the most arguments: umm maybe shadow ? it might kinda source sometimes from him misunderstanding certain things or something, misreading what something means, or like taking things too seriously
What are their nicknames for each other: rouge calls him shad/shads sometimes, other times she’ll probably use stuff like handsome, cutie, sweetie, hun, etc. shadow doesnt really use nicknames much but if theyre alone he might occasionally call her something he knows just kills her- liiike whispering “good morning, my love” in her ear while theyre cuddling and just waking up in the morning :3
Who suggests that they buy a pet: neither, i see it more like shadow just comes back one day from babysitting cream with a chao egg and hes just like “im sorry she offered it to me i couldnt just say no” gdisgf they both (and omega too) end up loving the little guy to pieces tho. ofc it becomes a shadow chao ;p and with bat-like wingss
What couple traditions they have: ummm idk maybe just like traveling a lot ? bc back on the ark shadow always wanted to experience what the world was like and im sure he still has that curiosity to check out everything (and im sure rouge would find it incredibly fun to go out traveling the world too)
What tv shows they watch together: tbh i barely watch tv anymore itd be like impossible for me to match any shows with them lmao. shadow probably just watches whatever rouge watches (thas how shadow got into anime fjdhifhd)
Another couple they hang out with: i mean probably none, shadow doesnt like to hang with people much besides his team lol
How they spend time together as a couple: i suppose if theyre not working or on an adventure saving the world or whatever theyre probably either hanging out at home or at someplace that’s not crowded, rouge is probably often times showing shadow things hes never seen before or never experienced in person since all he knows is whatever was on the ark 50 years ago (also thered be lots of cuddling and smooches going on too :3 less so in public bc shadow doesnt like bein all mushy with others around but rouge would still be doing a bunch of stuff to get him to blush)
Who made the first move: i can imagine several ways this going down but one way i see is its just rouge making all the moves all the way lol. like shadow notices these feelings he has for rouge but he doesnt really understand them and isnt sure how to handle them, so he just becomes an extremely blushy dork whenever she’s flirting, trying to act unfazed but its so clear that he likes her- and of course rouge would notice this. so what does she do? flirt with him even more lmao, she just keeps it up and keeps being more flirtatious with him until one day she actually kisses him and that sorta just kicks off their relationship officially
Who brings flowers home: S H A D O W fihdihf i took that thing from lego dimensions and fuckin ran with it lmao. shadow loves flowers fight me. he makes rouge flower crowns
Who is the best cook: rouge by a landslide fhdihfih shadow can make…. hot pockets lmao. things he make typically either: 1. taste awful/comes out completely ruined or 2. is some weird combination that somehow tastes good to him
Who snores: uhh idk, i dont really see either snoring tbh
god uhhhhh i spent way too much time on this than i should’ve lmaooo. anyways thanks for the ask !!! it was fun to answer :3
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coquuin · 5 years
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really LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog  !  good  luck  !
TAGGED. i stole it from Kiki!! TAGGING. whoever wants to do it!!
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BASICS.
FULL NAME: Ezekiel Axel Ruiz Rosario
NICKNAME: Zeke
AGE: (Verse dependent) anywhere from 19 to 25! most often tho, i usually make him 25.
BIRTHDAY: November 15 (self given bc he doesnt know his real birthday)
ETHNIC GROUP: Puerto Rican / Latino
NATIONALITY: British-American
LANGUAGE(S): English, Spanish, Dutch, Japanese, Latin, Romanian, some Russian, and some Chinese! he likes to study languages a lot....
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demi-Pansexual
ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demi-Panromantic
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Hes multiship boiiii
CLASS: Upper class, though he really doesnt have very expensive tastes or anything. Seems like he’d be lower class, but. yknow, he is a celebrity so.
HOMETOWN / AREA: London, England
CURRENT HOME: A very small and shitty apartment. Yeah, he could get a much better home bc he does have the money, but... hes weird and likes a more slightly cramped space. dont question Ezekiel, he has weird preferences.
PROFESSION: Guitarist of the rock band Rogue! also used to work at a music shop when he was like 17, but that was back in London.
PHYSICAL.
HAIR: Very curly and messy black hair! He hardly bothers to take care of it. its prolly greasy bc hes a fucking gremlin pls make him take a shower. stinky boye
EYES: BIG OL FUCKIN EYES. they’re brown! a little sunken, and has massive bags under them--rather than the bags being from lack of sleep, though, theyre actually a result of too much sleep! Ezekiel can and WILL fall asleep wherever and whenever he wants. you cant stop him. his eyes are pretty big actually, and very expressive!
NOSE: the bitch looks like its been broken like ten times. he got a weird ass nose. its a little big, but not terribly so!
FACE: scrawny as FUCK. motherfucker’s head shape looks like a fuckin crescent moon. you know that one tiktok meme with the girl who has the weird ass moon lookin head? bitch looks like that a little bit. croissant lookin ass head.
LIPS: very thin! pls get him some chapstick
COMPLEXION: bitch looks like he hasnt gone out in the sun in over 20 years! which, actually, isnt entirely wrong bc he pretty much hasn’t. pale as fuck! his skin looks gray, like a fucking corpse. he looks like a zombie, but i swear to god hes a plain ass human i think
BLEMISHES: a lot! mostly on his body tho, especially on his back.
SCARS: A  L O T!!! his back is literally covered in a shit ton of scars in the shape of upside down crosses, and he has a lot on the rest of his body as well, and several on his left wrist. yeah he, uh... he aint okay
TATTOOS: None! hes way too terrified to get one and hates the idea of one being stuck on his body for like the rest of his life rip
HEIGHT: 6′ 3″ / 190.05cm
WEIGHT: about like... 98lbs?? which is. fUCKING TERRIBLE FOR HOW TALL HE IS!!! LIKE HOLY SHIT EZEKIEL ARE YOU GOOD??? HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!?! EZEKIEL?!?!?!?! FUCKING EAT SOMETHING PL EASE
BUILD: SCRAWNY AS SHIT. HE IS SO SKINNY HOLY SHIT. OH MY GOD GET THIS BOY A FUCKING BURGER OR SOMETHING BEFORE HE DIES JESUS CHRIST!!!!
ALLERGIES: Dandelions! He’ll just sneeze a lot around them
USUAL HAIRSTYLE: The bangs are kiiiinda kept to the side sorta just so its not falling in his eyes, but other than that, he doesnt really bother to like, style it or anything. its just curly and messy. although! when he was a child all the way to his teens, he did have a stupid ass bowlcut! but that wasnt his own choice, so he cant really be blamed for it :(
USUAL FACE LOOK: motherfucker has the WORST case of resting bitch face you will ever fucking see. even when hes happy he still looks angery sometimes!!! but thats literally just his fucking face!!!!
USUAL CLOTHING: a looot of slightly baggy clothing. lots of hoodies! especially wears a lot of black and red, mostly black. also wears mostly boots or sneakers, usually the ladder. he just doesnt really give two shits about fashion, as he’s more concerned with just sorta.. hiding his body. hes very insecure! save him
PSYCHOLOGY.
FEAR(S): "the devil”, getting close to anyone, performing in front of people, people in general, cats, knives & other sharp objects, the sight of his own blood
ASPIRATION(S): "to escape the Devil’s wrath,” as he phrases it. of course, the whole ‘THE DEVIL IS OUT TO KILL EVERYONE I LOVE AND THEN HE’LL KILL ME NEXT’ thing is obviously just in Ezekiel’s head, but it feels very real to him! he basically just wants to be free of the “demons” in his head. aside from that, he also really really reeaaally wants to own an orphanage someday! basically take in orphan kids and help give them a much better life than he had. but as for right now, he fully realizes he’s not ready for that at all, so he’s currently more focused on his music career and getting better mentally, though the ladder is a slow process.
POSITIVE TRAITS: Patient, simple, humble
NEGATIVE TRAITS: Rude, temperamental, paranoid
ZODIAC: Scorpio!
TEMPERAMENT: uhhhh fuck idk i just took a quiz for this and ezekiel got like a tie between phlegmatic and melancholic--but if i had to guess, i’d say melancholic!
SOUL TYPE(S): Spiritualist!
ANIMALS: i always associate Ezekiel with dogs bc. he literally just acts like a fuckin angery dog. and an angery snake or something. bUT MOSTLY DOGS. he will literally bark at people, because he’s a fucking weirdo who doesnt know how to behave like a normal fucking human being
VICE  HABIT(S): uhhh drugs and alcohol are a big thing he does!! and generally pushing everyone away so he doesnt get close to anyone! and also acting like a gotdam ANIMAL. SOMEONE PLS MAKE EZEKIEL STOP FUCKING BARKING AND HISSING AT PEOPLE!!!
FAITH: Christian! his religion is very important to him too!
GHOSTS?: Yes!
AFTERLIFE?: Yes!
REINCARNATION?: He isn’t really sure about reincarnation, but wants to believe it exists.
ALIENS?: Yes.
POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: fuck if he knows. ezekiel could not give less of a shit about politics and hardly knows anything about it bc he really doesnt keep up with anything.
SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: he doesnt give a fuck
EDUCATION LEVEL: None. he never even went to school, fun fact!
FAMILY.
FATHER: Dead!
MOTHER: Dead!
SIBLINGS: None!
EXTENDED FAMILY: None!
NAME MEANING(S): Ezekiel means “God will strengthen”! I have no idea what Rosario means sadly bc i cant find anything good on it on google :(
HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None that he knows of.
FAVORITES.
BOOK: He couldn’t possibly pick a single favorite book--he loves a lot! but he loves mostly romance genres! which is so fucking ironic considering he’s fucking terrified of getting into relationships. and even more ironically? he doesnt read any horror genres bc it scares him too much!
MOVIE: he doesn’t know.
5 SONGS: While My Guitar Gently Weeps - the Beatles; Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd; Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin; Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen; Don’t Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult.
DEITY: God, Jesus
HOLIDAY: Christmas! everyone expects Ezekiel to be like the grinch or something and hate Christmas, but nope! He surprisingly loves it!
MONTH: March
SEASON: Fall
PLACE: His bed
WEATHER: Preferably a little cold, but not too much, bc he just cant stand being hot--and completely dark outside!
SOUND: Gentle guitar strums.
SCENT(S): Ivory
TASTE(S): Anything thats like. Meat. hes very picky tho
FEEL(S): Skin. As in, like, being affectionate with someone else! He’s just very touch starved rip
ANIMAL(S): Yknow, oddly enough, despite acting like a fuckin wild animal a lot, he doesnt like animals much. but definitely dogs are his favorite!
NUMBER: 20
COLORS: Red and black--though he likes blue as well, especially dark blue.
EXTRA.
TALENTS: Music--especially with guitar! And painting, writing, literature.
BAD AT: Anything to do with math or science and stuff like that; anything that requires physical work. hes p much bad at like.. most things tbh.
TURN ONS: Just like.. be soft and gentle with him... also probably has a lowkey praise kink--if you could call it much of a kink i guess? hes pretty vanilla tbh. hes just soft.....
TURN OFFS: If you go rough on him at all he WILL cry. Also anything that, like, restricts him like ropes or some shit will literally make him panic so fucking bad. basically hes just vanilla as fuck, just be gentle with him pls
HOBBIES: Writing / playing music, writing in general, painting, watching random ass movies on TV until he falls asleep, sleeping, avoiding his problems like the fuckin wind
TROPES: man fuck if i know
AESTHETIC TAGS: literally all of Aurelio Voltaire’s songs; shit you’d see in Halloween (which is funny bc Ezekiel fucking hates Halloween); vampires; satanic symbolism. which is all ironic, bc Ezekiel doesnt actually like spooky shit! but it all sure does give big Ezekiel vibes anyway
GPOY  QUOTES: huh
FC INFO.
MAIN  FC(S): Jack the ripper from, well, Oyasumi Jack the Ripper!
ALT FC(S): None!
OLDER FC(S): None!
YOUNGER  FC(S): None rip
VOICE CLAIM(S): Murdoc Niccals from Gorillaz
GENDERBENT FC(S): iiiiii dont really do genderbends pretty much so none
MUN QUESTIONS.
Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:
Honestly probably something like the movie Sybil??? like basically just delving deep into his whole psychology and mindset and whatnot and why he acts the way he acts. those are always like my FAVORITE type of movies, and Ezekiel would honestly be fucking perfect for something like that bc literally every single aspect of his entire personality has been molded in some way shape or form by some event in his life, especially to do with the cult he was raised in, and it hONESTLY IS SO INTERESTING TO JUST LIKE.. STUDY WHAT EZEKIELS BRAIN IS LIKE BASICALLY. AT LEAST FOR ME ANYWAY BC I AM HIS MUN AND ALL BUT.
Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:
for some reason i always kinda associate him with like edgy violin and piano music?? i mean hey rock stars can be classy too fuck u
Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:
WELL ORIGINALLY WHEN I FIRST CREATED HIM HE WAS JUST BASED OFF MURDOC NICCALS BC, YALL ALREADY KNOW DAMN WELL IM OBSESSED WITH THAT PICKLE MAN, BUT. Now, however, he’s WAAAAAAAAY different and i just love writing him so much bc like. basically like what i said in the movie question!! he is SO fucking interesting to delve into psychology wise. like, yeah he has an edgy ass tragic backstory, but whats neat about that is you can absolutely see how said edgy backstory ties into his mindset and individual habits and how the memories of it still affects his everyday life despite the fact that he’s escaped it a long time ago now. even in the small things he does, chances are is that every single thing that he does is either something he does to soothe and comfort himself for his own safety, or something that has just been fucking drilled into his mind by the cult members and whatnot, if any of that makes sense? LIKE YALL DONT UNDERSTAND I HAVE LITERALLY WATCHED LIKE HOURS LONG DOCUMENTARIES ON ORPHANAGES AND SATANIC CULTS AND PSYCHOLOGY AND HOW TRAUMA LIKE WHAT EZEKIEL EXPERIENCED CAN FUCK SOMEONE UP, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF WRITING HIM CORRECTLY AND REALISTICALLY. LIKE HE STARTED OFF AS SOME MURDOC NICCALS REJECT WHEN I MADE HIM IN LIKE?? 2015 MAYBE??? BUT NOW, MY MAIN INTEREST IN HIM IS LIKE, HOW FASCINATING HIS FUCKING MIND IS IN A WAY. idk im a big psychology nerd but.
Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:
Murdoc
Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:
him pushing everyone away! like its one thing to have a self-defense mechanism like where you just generally act kinda mean to drive people off, but Ezekiel can really take it to a whole new level and he really can be like.. a hUGE ASSHOLE BC OF IT. its mostly when he realizes that he may be starting to become close with anyone that it really gets to a bad point and he becomes all the more self-destructive. THIS IS GONNA BE VERY UNSANITARY SO WARNING BUT hes literally told someone in an rp once like “YOURE GOING TO FORCE ME TO EAT YOUR SHIT OR DRINK YOUR FUCKING URINE JUST LIKE THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE ORPHANAGE DID, ARENT YOU???? IS THAT WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME?? TO USE ME, HURT ME, CUT ME, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT??? WE ARE NEVER GOING TO BE FUCKING FRIENDS YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!! WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU THINK WE HAD ANYTHING IN COMMON??” AND ITS JUST KINDA.. YIKES SCOOB! but basically hes willing to say just about anything to push people away so he can avoid getting close to anyone
Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:
WE BOTH FEAR AND AVOID ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS LIKE THE FUCKIN WIND. also when i was younger i definitely had a tendency to try and make people hate me just to push people away like Ezekiel does but im not like that anymore thankfully!!
Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:
oh hed probably try to fucking kill me lol
Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?
HONESTLY LIKE.. P MUCH EVERY INTERACTION EZEKIEL HAS IS SO GOOD. Ezekiel is one of those characters where its very hard to have a boring rp bc he just does so much shit, so like no matter who i rp him with, its bound to be amazing. ALTHOUGH I DO NEED TO MAKE HIM INTERACT WITH MORE PEOPLE TBH!!! the only problem i have when writing him sometimes is actually making him talk to new people, bc of his extreme shut-in attitude and whatnot, so he literally just never starts conversations with anyone he barely knows.
Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?:
listening to any music that reminds me of him! but otherwise, it usually just comes pretty naturally to me tbh. just some days ill be in the mood for him all day--same with a lot of my characters actually.
Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:
A LONG ASS TIME
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aparoxysm · 7 years
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☼☼☼☼ i don't even know how many i pasted but GIMME
this is literally going to be so long i talk so much YOURE GONNA REGRET THIS
☼ KYLE & DEANNA ☼
who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation
WELL, i think this would be kyle tbh. like no okay, he’s usually a responsible guy but hes SOOO easily manipulated and pressured into things ok??? the puppy would just have to look @ him and he’d just be like “no buddy im sorry i can’t………………… alright fine jump in the backpack ill be your obi wan we’re outta here”
who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them
deanna 10000000%
who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy
i actually feel like both? i feel like kyle is usually the instigator but since being around him all the time, deanna’s really going to get to embrace a dorkier side of herself. he likes making people laugh and she likes him making her laugh so basically he is gonna make her come to the dork side sooner or later~
who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them
HAHA probably kyle.
who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them
SO i have finally decided that kyle is really interested in history and archeology. i think hes gonna really commit to college this time around soon and deannas gonna be pouty when he cant shower her in attention lolololol. so definitely her distracting and succeeding.
who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated
both!!
who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do
i don’t know if deanna really has a temper but given that she’s got italian blood in her, i’d say genetics prove that she’d be the one to walk out. kyle would 10/10 be upset if she did.
who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows
kyle. netflix nerd.
who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky
deanna.
who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car
both. 10/10.
who has more fun decorating the house during holidays
kyle LOL hes such a dweeb. there’s him in an ugly christmas sweater and antlers.
who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other
…..deanna? maybe? im not really sure, again, i dont know what her temper is like. i don’t know if shes a need space person or not yet, but kyle wouldn’t be able to stand ignoring her.
who plays with the others’ hair more
i definitely see deanna playing with kyles hair on the reg.
who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored
i think deanna’s already proved this one LOLOLOLL and i love it so much, its such a normal organic thing in relationships to hang off each other and i definitely see that being her thing. 
who tries to kiss the other as often as they can
deanna. i think kyle’s more of a hugger, he always likes to just have an arm around her somehow. shes the kisser.
who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up
WELL kyle would never @ her like that but LOLOLOL i bet once the novelty of his blabbing has worn off and theyre an old married couple deanna might sometimes just be like stooooop
who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  
deanna is for sure the instigator, as if that isnt 100% obvious by now hahahha and god yes sometimes kyle will be like NO OMG MY MOM IS IN THE OTHER ROOM or I HAv E TO GO TO cLASS so yep he gonna have to walk away and its gonna kill him 100 times over probably.
who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one
kyle forgets it but also has to hold it because hes such a tall freak, hed be like good ol’ hunchback notre dame with deanna holding it LOL. but he’d also just like, get wet if it meant keeping her dry and warm cause hes a ~gentleman
who demands showering first in the mornings
hmmmmmmmmmmmm i feel like deanna. unless shes a night shower-er. in which case, shes a freak and kyle owns the morning.
who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings
well this has deanna written all over it so.
who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games
kyle’s a wimp, he’ll win her a goldfish and not throw up (y)
who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond
deanna. kyle probably fell asleep LOL
who always forgets to charge their phone overnight 
hmhmhmhmhmhmhmh deanna??? maybe??? i mean maybe not always but i just see her being more connected to her phone than kyle, like surfing social media etc. and like i bet hes an iPad guy. so like maybe he steals the wall socket a lot and shes like k remind me to steal ur charger before we go to bed and hes like k *forgets immediately*
who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets
both? but i feel like mostly deanna. always givin’ him the heckin spooks because hes dumb .
who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can 
both.
who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet
deanna feels more rambunctious tbh.
☼ EMILY & MILES ☼
who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation
WELL IF THERE’S ANYTHING MORE SOLID ABOUT EMILY AS A CHARACTER ITS THAT SHE HAS A N UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH DOGS. she is every dog lover tumblr post ever. barney, her UNNECESSARILY HUMONGOUS bernese mountain dog is her pride and son.
who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them
maybe miles but like more as a joke because like emily adores photography, she used to do a lot of it when she was a teenager for school because her dad was really interested in vintage cameras (see also: her box brownie collection she considered selling) and so thats a nice part of im to hold onto for her. he gave her a polaroid camera which she broke in one of her first big mental break downs. then some years later, a boyfriend at the time bought her a new one which she used a lot for a while. then they broke up and she hasn’t really touched photography since. anyway basically i think miles would probably know most of this (all her polaroids are probably still packed up in a box) so he’d pick up her camra sometimes like “photograph me like one of ur french women~” and shed be like omg stop ur being a silly goose ily.
who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy
miles @ emily. sometimes shes such a sad rain cloud and so i think he would resort to any small stupid thing just to make her smile.
who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them
emily would rather die than watch a horror movie i think LOL. 2 spooky.
who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them
i think miles respects emily too much to bother her when shes working, knowing she takes it all very seriously. but likeeeee, at the same time, maybe if he noticed she was already distracted he would try to egg it on cause maybe he’d think like why miss the opportunity to do something together instead if shes not gonna be busy??? idk. thats a real stab in the dark, i hope all my assuming isnt way off LOL
who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated
emily. worried mama bear.
who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do
miles is the stormer, emily is the cryer. 100%
who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows
emily. she doesn’t sleep very well anyway so she’ll read or watch obscure film/tv.
who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky
miles?????????????? probably??? emily is such a shy little squirt when it comes to sex, i think shes very happy to recieve whatever he’s willing to give her but as for her own actions shes too scared to be very adventurous.
who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car
miles. if only they could afford a car… /sheds tear/
who has more fun decorating the house during holidays
emily !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shes the person people hate at christmas time. but see also australia has like no game when it comes to inter/national holidays. our chrismas is in the summer so like reindeers and snow and hot cocoa and fireplaces and shit doesnt make sense. its an entirely different culture. same with halloween, its in the spring, there’s no fall colours, orange pumpkins, etc. having these holidays to REALLY celebrate into overkill in the states is probably her favourite thing about living there.
who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other
miles feels like the angry silent type. emily is the non-confrontational silent type. so both, depending what the argument was about.
who plays with the others’ hair more
i kind of see miles, like if theyre on the couch watching tv or whatever, his arm slung round her and distractedly playing with a lock.
who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored
hmmm, neither.
who tries to kiss the other as often as they can
when emily is a happy clam, shes very loving. her mood really changes her physical interactions. when shes sad or distracted or stressed or focused, she is very recluse and really just likes to be left alone. but when shes feeling inspired and happy, she’s all for hugs and kisses and touching.
who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up
miles? LOLOL if emily would EVER tell him to be quiet. a highly unlikely scenario though.
who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  
i think that miles is mostly the one to always start it, but never with an expectation that she’ll want to? because he knows how much of an awko taco she is about it? its kind of like a very hesitant, curious sus of the situation~ and if shes down then cool if shes not well then theres always next week maybe LOL. but real talk, i think its really special when emily initiates. its very like Big Moment™ and a real surprise and relief to miles’ stress levels cause otherwise he’s always feeling pushed out ja feel? so i think that the simple answer is miles and hes used to her shutting it down if shes not in the mood. but like everything about them its complicated LOL.
who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one
miles forgets and emily brings like 5. i feel like shes the cutie who holds it and he keeps an arm/jacket around her to keep her from freezing to death bc old married couple :’)
who demands showering first in the mornings
i mean emily likes routine but i feel like miles is the early riser for work and is always gne by the time she gets up probably.
who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings
either or neither, depending on the night before :P 
who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games
emily is also a wimp and i dont imagine she likes heights very much. miles strikes me as the “big panda winner” type.
who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond
emily if shes either a) worried or b) unsure and keeps tacking on after thoughts.
who always forgets to charge their phone overnight
ehhhhh, neither? i expect they both rely heavily on them for work so no point with a dead phone.
who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets
miles.
who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can
emily.
who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet
neither? i mean emily is basically a mouse but yeah. neither.
☼ ADAM & JULIE ☼
who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation
adam. 200%. he has no impulse control.
who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them
adam AHAHAHA, i bet he would take photos of himself on her phone a lot. as if he’s doing her some public service. change his name to “hot adam” in her phone and take a snapchat filter photo of him with some dumb sunglasses on or something. use one of those dumb filters that put your face on the body of some dancing thing and set it as her wallpaper. basically he is so vain.
who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy
adam. he doesnt get embarrassed easily and one day hes gonna like julie a lot and notice theres a dark raincloud in there somewhere he needs to chase away. so might as well do that with laughter.
who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them
adam but he’d want her to cling to him so it would be this whole elaborate plan. like “here let me set up the situation this is how its gonna go its gonna be great” and julie is gonna be like omfg stop and then hes gonna finish the movie wanting to vomit like “well that was not fun at all why did you talk me into this ur a bad friend”
who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them
julie strikes me as the hardworking type. adam is 100% the literal child wanting her attention.
who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated
adam ofc. but then it could be cute, like julie could start seeing dumb shit and text him like “i saw a guy who got thrown out of walmart today bc he tried to steal a the simpsons on dvd” and he’ll immediately laugh and call her like “WAS IT THE BEST THING? TELL ME EVERYTHING” bc his job is a lot of boring sitting around most of the time. he’ll learn when her lunch breaks are and call her to annoy her but also bc lonely.
who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do
adam would storm. idk if julie would cry?
who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows
hmmmmmmmmm, maybe julie? if its something shes really into or is anxious and cant sleep? bc adam is 100% that guy whos like “pf what no ill be up for HOURS” zonks out @ 9pm
who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky
adam, hes a kinky shit. but HEY maybe she is 2. we might never kno  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car
adam. literal child.
who has more fun decorating the house during holidays
i feel like julie has WICKED eye for interior? maybe she doesn’t, but her pinterest board lead me to believe shes stylish af. so i feel like she’d have a good time decorating. unless shes got deep family / body issues rooted to holidays which i could also see being a thing. people stareotypically eat a lot at christmas and thanksgiving omfg, so maybe she hates holidays. IDK. IDK THE ANSWER TO THIS ONE but im also pretty sure adam would dress as a sexy santa like u wouldnt even have to ask he’d be so down. i mean this is probably his favourite christmas related thing tbh (NSFW). im also aware that still doesnt answer the question.
who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other
adam. bye falicia~
who plays with the others’ hair more
adam but in an annoying way LOL
who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored
the image of adam climbing all over julie is weird af LOL. so like. maybe neither, idk?
who tries to kiss the other as often as they can
adam. hes so convinced he’ll get her to give in one day. ONE DAYYY.
who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up
adam.
who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  
adam sTILL. hes so annoying hahaha.
who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one
adam forgets, julie holds. mostly cause he probably gets them all wet cause hes an adhd kid half the time. 
who demands showering first in the mornings
hmmmm, maybe julie? adams probably a freak and showers at night.
who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings
adam 200%
who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games
adam would LOVE rollercoasters. i dont know about julie?
who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond
have you met adam “pay attention to me” kane ???
who always forgets to charge their phone overnight
hmmm, if it had to be one of them, probably adam.
who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets
adam. anything for the ass grab.
who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can
i dont know this one tbh.
who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet
adam. obnoxious piece of work.
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magalamantle · 7 years
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SO THIS IS... a really long post of a bigass ask meme, all the answers, about a fallout oc!!! ummm for warnings. #violence #alcohol #alcoholism #drug abuse ?
IM LIKE INFINITELY SORRY if this is just long, and the whole dash, on like, mobile or anything, i got carried away and had a lot of fun with it um,,,,
OK SO TO START OUT a quick summary of this character: marion tremblay, 26 years old, they/them pronouns, a courier six (but i might write them into a non-six role idk) with Sight Gone Wrong. imagine savestates, but the character only experiences the "canonical" ie last save. so they go from neutral to knowing exactly how to process a situation, but it causes a LOT of stress on them, including an incredibly distinctive negative feeling when a "save" occurs and nightmares depicting all the plays gone wrong. in addition, the successful path isnt always harmless, and often leads to heavy injury - just not death. not to mention the fact that the successful path doesnt always help people theyre trying to help, just them.
http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles5/carpy-hairstyle7.htm
http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles6/hairstyle-carpy12.htm
marion is incredibly stressed and doesnt get it, runs into danger and knows exactly what to do, doesnt know why, doesnt understand how it all adds together, and doesnt understand to maybe take it a little slower. then again, when they try to chill out and live normally the nightmares just get worse and worse. so basically they self medicate to dull the dreams a bit and it just makes everything even more stressful.
theyre a courier/jack of all trades/mercenary type that uses a recharger pistol, and has no self of self preservation. is struggling, indulges often, and is impossibly easy to charm. does things for the fuck of it, anxious, hesitantly affectionate, eventually very protective and supportive, childish and constantly tired lol.
anyway heres the questions!!!
Which Fallout game are they from? new vegas :Y
Which faction(s) did they join and which did they destroy? Why? they end up joining the ncr - they have plans and intentions to go for a free vegas, but realize eventually that the ncr is probably a lot closer to a safe vegas than they were before. kind of insists that the people get a say in things.
DOES have enough time to basically fuss with all the families on the strip and various societies - basically destroys the omertas, takes a long time and a lot of trauma to fix the situation of the white glove society, keeps house alive but out of power which basically really fucks marion up for a long long time, they then spend a million years slowly working their way into the brotherhood of steel to try to get them to kind of... not be involved anymore, same with the khans
they dooooo clear out vault 3 entirely though
What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.? str 4; per 8; end 5; cha 4; int 7; agi 3; luk 9. peep that luck bro
Give us a summary of their backstory. OK SO... marion was part of a pretty biggish family closer up north, just kind of, they did business and were vaguely well off. they were always pretty pretentious and loved reading books n shit, tinkering with tech, so their parents were v happy with it. then around the age of thirteen their sight started kicking in, which manifested itself at first as just like a really heavy uneasy feeling whenever something was about to happen, and later kind of... worked itself into what it is now. anyway, they didnt cope very well with it and ended up fucking up a lot of relationships and things when they booked it at about seventeen.
at which point they kind of became a jack of all trades, constantly travelling, settling generally in the mojave. courier mostly at first, then eventually also a mercenary when the business started booming. they constantly had like, at least a couple dozen things going on, so occasionally they would forget a job or two. but considering their sight, they more or less had the ability to go into places that literally no one else could and come out bruised and bloodied but alive. so generally? business was good.
they did a lot of putzing around the strip, helped the followers a bit, etc. just generally has a little bit of history in most parts of the mojave.
after they got shot they forgot some... importantish things, but anyway they eventually fucked off, got ed-e, wandered around, rescued raul+visited him until they eventually just invited him along.
What’s their full name and does it have a meaning? Do they have any nicknames and how did they get em? marion tremblay - a quebecois name basically, uh pretty much their family line came from canada pre annex and were bitter about it.
What’s their sexual, romantic, and gender orientation? Do they feel comfortable telling other people? theyre nonbinary, just kind of, everythings a mess. nothing is definite. they have bigger stuff going on lol. just accepts whatever theyre labelled, but will explain if pressed
Do they have any mental illnesses? How do they cope? uhhh technically they have... some sort of flashbacks, from their sight, that gives them really horrible nightmares. they definitely self medicate its pretty bad. of course they dont really associate their habit of running into danger with their anxiety and attacks and shit, so they basically end up dissociating and confused most of the time, and figure thats just the way it is. and drink. gestures
Do they have any medical conditions? Is medicine/ treatment available for them? nah marions got nothing. theyre surprisingly physically healthy considering the fact that theyre basically useless physically
How much do they care about their outer appearance? What’s their “beauty routine”? How often do they shower/ bathe? they care just as little about bathing as most people in the mojave, but appreciate the ability to wash their hair - comb it pretty regularily. it gets really bad and knotted if they dont
What do they fear the most? their shitty vision failing to manage to do anything for people they love. its done it before
They’re biggest flaw? Do they recognize it as a flaw? their total lack of self-preservation and knowledge of self. like theyll do unhealthy stuff and get totally confused why they feel like shit, dont understand that running into things carelessly is what is making them constantly anxious and depressed, and they think that their inability to talk to people is what is fucking things up
What are they most insecure about? they pretty much lack any insecurity. they know theyre pretty bad at talking to people, but theyre not so much nervous about it as just dont really like doing it
What Wasteland threat do they fear the most? (ex. Deathclaws, super mutants, raiders) most bugs actually. since their sight kind of just keeps them from dying, it usually keeps them from dealing with deathclaws at all - but hanging around cazadores and getting poisoned just kind of means downing so many bottles of water and antivenoms, and it fucking Hurts. plus they just find the way they move really really disgusting lol
What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most? What are their placements (if you know them)? (ex. Aries sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius Venus) mnmnnmn pisces sun. taurus moon. 
What’s their Myers–Briggs Type? (ex. ENTP, ISFJ) infp lol
What Harry Potter house would they be in? (ex. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw) gonna say hufflepuff because theyre a big softie when it comes to people they actually do like
Which Pokemon Go team would they choose? (ex. Instinct, Valor, Mystic) uh probably instinct? i think thats the yellow one right? 
Out of the nine forms of intelligence (rhythmic, spatial, linguistic, mathematical, kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and existential) which one(s) are they really good at and which one(s) is(are) their weakest? theyre really good with math and rhythm - not quite as good with interpersonal stuff, or intra for that matter. they dont know shit about themself lol. theyre really good at science stuff in general, though - comes from fiddling with that sort of shit
What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil)
im not too good at pinning down characters, but honestly somewhere between chaotic good and true neutral. will help people, sure, for a price - or if they seem really really desperate. dislikes copious rules but wont go out of way to topple rules so long as they seem more or less fair
Do they have any hobbies? What are they?
they play harmonica! they like to think up songs, make harmonies to the songs on the radio. when they were little they liked to fuss with math puzzles and science shit but lost a lot of the focus as their sight got stronger, stopped being able to sit still long enough to really work on stuff. they like to fuss with ed-e sometimes lol. upgrades n stuff. polishin him
Do they have a favorite holiday? How do they celebrate it? when marion was more into consistent courier-ing, they liked pretty much any holiday that people sent gifts to each other. good for business, it was nice to see people so happy, PLUS people always tipped really well and gave them free food n stuff out of thankfulness.
What’s their favorite season? autumn, mostly - most fair weather. loves the winter when theres no storms or anything - nice to wear lots of layers of clothing and have it be appropriate.
Do they have a temper or are they level headed? pretty level headed, but when they lose their temper they sound kind of ridiculous because their voice gets really high and they??? talk like???? this?????? and theres a lot of gesturing.
they dont really so much lose their temper when they go into combat situations simply because they tend to go from zero to everyones dead, pew pew pew. it does happen sometimes in really tough, long situations, but as it turns out being angry doesnt really make your laser pistol shoot any better or harder Do they express their emotions freely or hide their true feelings? theyre so un-in-tune with their own feelings that they tend to not understand why or what theyre feeling. so its not so much hiding as like ????!??!!?!?!?!?
Are they a leader or a follower?
a leader out of necessity.
How do they come off to others? What first impression do they usually make? creepy. first impression is generally that theyre very businesslike, probably too frail to complete a job. “whys this person being so nice when they look like they want to eat me”
Do they prefer to travel alone or with company? Who have they traveled with if any? Current companion if any? they basically never travelled with a companion until recently. started traveling with ed-e, basically just because he makes sounds when things are happening, eventually found raul and after a good couple times of going back to him to get their laser pistol fixed just kind of invited him to come along. didnt realize he wouldnt be able to fix their pistol on the way lol
Would you describe them as selfless or selfish? Does it depend on the situation? they have the ability to be pretty selfless for the most part since theyre pretty well off from all the work they did before getting shot in the head. on the other hand, theyre not really used to hanging out with other people so theyre kind of selfish when it comes to food n stuff, at least until they got sassed enough for it
What do they find most attractive in others? Name at least one psychological and physical trait. (doesn’t have to be romantic attraction) they usually like people with silver tongues and wide shoulders
Do they flirt often? How easily do they fall in love? they basically do not flirt. they dont register flirting, either. its pretty easy to charm them, but marion is not... a charming person
What’s their love life like? Are they interested in anyone or in a relationship? listen i made the with the almost exclusive purpose of dating raul so. interested lol
Do they prefer to solve things diplomatically or using violence? diplomatically. they generally dislike having to actually, be in danger, but theyre really not charismatic so it usually ends up resorting to either violence, or very well-backed up threats
What is their combat style? What range do they prefer? Do they sneak? they are TOTAL SHIT at sneaking, for like no reason. theyre just... really not athletically inclined. their strategy is usually run and gun, dont stop moving, ABS - always be shooting. turns out when you have a rechargeable gun and the luck of the devil, it doesnt matter how many bullets you take as long as you win lol
What weapon(s) do they always carry with them? recharger pistol!!! they also carry a tiny bowie knife just in case. mostly used to cut plants off stems and cut meat off things. its a whole experience
Their most prized possession? pretty much everything they own is replaceable. the harmonica is nice, cause it pretty much still works entirely, but its definitely not super special or anything. theyd still sell it for a nice meal though
Their thoughts on power armor? a nice idea, but full heavy armor makes it kind of difficult to travel large distances, especially over mountains n shit
Favorite armor/ outfit? gecko-backed leather armor, plus a shitty hood they slapped on top of it. they think it looks so cool, plus its plain enough that its comfortable. they really want a tux lol
How’s their aim? Do their hands shake while pointing a gun? a gun? yes. a laser pistol? no. the second things have like, physical bullets in it, they get super stressed. using lasers instead of pistols or bullets allows a certain level of, like, disconnection from the situation.
What are their thoughts on having to kill on a daily bases in order to survive? Does it take a toll on them? Or do they shake it off rather easily? they really hate it. but honestly they get worse nightmares if they dont keep doing things, like constantly. they prefer to not really have to kill people, so tend to like... threaten and bluster their way through things pretty often. they wont chase down a fleeing enemy unless theyre really super in the zone
Thoughts on death if any? (ex. Fear it, accept it) definitely fear. they pretty much cant die, so theyre pretty confident about it, but its mostly because they manage to disconnect so much from situations that it basically just gives them night terrors. like i said before, complete disconnection from their own emotions. basically a whole lot of marions problems could be fixed by accepting that maybe running into danger is a bad idea, even if they basically cant die.
tl;dr, they think they accept it, but 100% fear
Do they move around a lot or prefer to have a place to call home? they move around SO much. marions pretty much been on the move since they turned 17, constantly doing just about anything they could get their hands on. a million jobs all at once
What’s their favorite location? the strip. they pretty much used to spend most of their spare time down there - loved the food at the ultra luxe, the booze n drugs at gomorrah, and the music company and games at the tops. a couple days of throwing caps down the drain, followed by doing a bunch of odd jobs in the area is a good way of spending a whole week. then, once they had enough messages and packages and people to kill/find, theyd take off again
Their opinions on ghouls, feral and not feral? marion kind of sees themself in feral ghouls. impossible to kill, but at what cost, etc etc. very angsty. thinks ghoul voices are actually kind of pretty
Do they scavenge for their supplies or simply buy them? combination. scavenges what they can, buys the rest. when youre as lucky as they are when finding bullets and bits, you definitely have enough caps for everything else. since theyre shit at repairing, they always get their equipment repaired while out
Are they the type to get distracted and go off to an unknown nearby location or do they stay on track? they definitely amble. long term plans are definite, but when you have maybe five jobs happening at once it doesnt hurt to step aside and grab a new one on the way
How do they sleep? Are they picky about where and how or can they sleep basically anywhere? they tend to get themself pretty blitzed to be able to sleep with few dreams. as a result they can pretty much sleep anywhere, but theyre pretty fitful about it
What’s their favorite radio station and song? (post-apocalypse) they used to like butcher pete but got pretty tired of it after a good, long amount of time. now they think aint that a kick in the head is super funny. since they got shot in the head.
theyre okay with literally every radio station, but likes black mountain radio a lot even though its a lot weirder than it was before. theyre really not sure if the people on the radio are uh ok but uh. makes it a point to eventually check that out.
What’s their favorite post-apocalyptic food? Are they a picky eater? Do they know how to cook? they fucking LOVE fresh fruit - trail mix is a huge fave, nd theyll pay pretty much any amount of money for it, especially since it keeps pretty well. theyre also a fan of like, gourmet shit, since they have the money to spend on it. good steaks are nice. theyre pretty picky, but they usually have a pretty good supply of long-keeping foods to eat on the road. they cant really cook that well though
What’s their favorite beverage? Do they drink alcohol? vodka is a fave. gets them real drunk real fast. a long time ago they managed to trade for some nuka-cherry and its basically their favourite thing in the whole world??????? has a weird distaste for sunset sarsaparilla and gives it all to raul
Do they have any tag skills? energy weapons, science, medicine. really good with e.weapons, more than decent with science, pretty good with medicine. mostly out of patching self up.
Anything they like to collect? (ex. Unique weapons, Bobbleheads) Caps Lol. nah but really they pick up anything that seems interesting to sell. they do have a big intention to buy the unique recharger pistol but its never in stock whenever they go to the kiosk
Are they good at disarming traps or do they constantly miss them? theyre pretty shitty at getting traps, but their luck is amazing with it. they can pretty much walk through a minefield just fine. like running through is safer than trying to disarm, because when you run through a minefield you either die or you dont - when you try really delicately you might blow some important bits up, but you wont die lol
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whenismuna · 7 years
Note
all?
1. Name: stephanie, steph, stoof, mistake
2. Birthplace: iowa bye
3. Ancestry: german and swedish aka whitest of the whites
4. Zodiac Sign: aries :)
5. Biggest fear: lmao being alone and losing trust in the people i care about most haha
6. Strength/Weakness: nothing/everything
7. Worst habit: breathing
8. Favorite holiday: halloween
9. Ever been in a car crash: almost
10. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: lol who hasnt
11. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house: fill up my water and take off my pants
12. Age at first kiss: 17
13. When did you fall in love for the first time: 17
14. Who Is Your Longest Friend & How Long: michelle, the loml, 10 1/2 years :’)
15. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: dont die maybe
16. What were you doing at midnight last night: listening to after laughter
17. When was the last time you laughed hard: this morning talking to michelle
18. Who was the last person that told you they love you: michelle :’)
19. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up yesterday morning: how am i supposed to know bye
20. Where did you go for your first date and who was it with: very first date was a double-date with my then-friend and our then-boyfriends and we saw that movie with justin timberlake about time?
21. Who’s wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen: my moms :)
22. Who did you see in concert first: weird al in like 4th grade
23. Who was your favorite teacher: SARAH JACKSON MY MOTHER I LOVE HER THE REAL LOML
24. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day: michelle
25. Who do you think about most: michelle or carly rae jepsen
26. Is your ideal occupation? doing anything with animal husbandry/rehabilitation
27. Beer, wine, or liquor? liquor 100%
28. Favourite restaurant? old sammy t’s or maybe legume
29. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? ben and jerrys americone dream
30. McDonlads or Burger King? neither?
31. Fantasy dinner guest(s)? crj, griffin mcelroy, rachel carson
32. Have you ever been drunk? When was the last time? yee like january wtf
33. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done drunk? lmao i sent michelle a bunch of snaps once crying about how much i love dogs
34. Wonder Woman or Cat Woman? wonder woman
35. How many pets do you have? none but i wanna get a kenyan sand boa so bad :(
36. What would be the first thing you bought if you won the lottery? an education
37. When was the first time you smoked? like july?
38. Who last sent you a text? delaney
39. Who did you last send a text to? delaney
40. What 4 things would you take to a desert island? rope, a knife, a lighter, and plastic wrap
41. Name the 3 most important people in your life? michelle delaney and nay
42. Favorite song? rn probably fake happy tbh
43. Favorite movie? always hsm bye
44. When did you last cuddle someone? last night :)
45. When did you last have sex? tuesday
46. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? so much oh my god
47. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute? i mean this time five years ago i was getting ready to go to camp for the first time so i was probably worried about people liking me and like some of my best friends are from camp so obviously thats not a fear anymore
48. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be? just one?
49. What relationships have ended? But you can’t let go? literally none
50. Where would you take a road trip? everywhere
51. How do Mondays feel for you? time isnt real. i havent known what day it is for the past month
52. If you could spend ten minutes with your ‘hero’ alive or dead what would you ask them? “hi rachel yeah a) are u gay, b) will you marry me?”
53. Do your practice ‘self love’ or ‘self loathing’? love in theory but loathing in practice
54. What’s your greatest achievement to date? beating a game of solitaire in 25 seconds
55. What scares you about your future? literally everything
56. Why does pizza come in a square box? idk?
57. What would happen if you knew you could not fail? id already have my dream job tbh
58. How does it feel to be photographed? if its on my terms, very nice, otherwise no
59. If you could erase an event from your mind, which one would you choose? all of middle school
60. Do you want your children (if you have any) to be ‘just like you’? trick question, i dont want kids
61. Do you stand for what you believe in or are you pleasing others? im the most non-confrontational person i know but if it really gets to morals i will absolutely stand for what i believe in
62. If money were no concern, what would you do for the rest of your life? travel
63. What are you thankful for, this moment? my friends
64. Do you have same sex fantasies? im gay?
65. If you have had sex in a public place, where? nope
66. Have you ever cried during/after sex? nope
67. Who is the oldest person you’ve had sex with? 25
68. Who is the youngest person you’ve had sex with? 19
69. Would you rather be in a relationship with a totally submissive partner or a totally dominant partner? dom bye
70. How tall are you? 5′10 bye
71. How much do you weigh? lmao i dont even know. i havent weighed myself in so long like i dont care lowkey
72. What color is your hair naturally? brown
73. What size jeans do you wear? umm???? 10??? 12????? idk
74. What is your favorite color to wear? black
75. Do you have any piercings? no :(
76. Do you have any tattoos? no :(
77. Do you care how other people see you? sometimes
78. Do you like sports? eh
79. How do you feel about age differences in relationships? it depends. as long as its not a huge age gap its fine idk
80. How do you feel about race differences in relationships? why would that matter?
81. Do you believe in karma or fate? both? more karma though
82. Do you keep a journal? i used to
83. Describe the last dream you remember: i was at delaneys house and her and her mom were showing me around the house and i was sobbing
84. Describe your favorite dream: see above
85. Where are some places you would like to visit? everywhere
86. Any upcoming concerts you want to attend? harry styles, handsome ghost, misterwives
87. What music do you listen to when you are happy? it depends? mostly carly rae jepsen tho lbr
88. What music do you listen to when you are mad? mostly folie a deux or vices or something
89. Do you like to burn candles or incense? candles
90. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? oh yikes becherovka
91. What are your favorite alcoholic beverages? anything fruity
92. Do you smoke cigarettes or cigars? What about marijuana? nope
93. Who is your number 1 friend and why is he or she there? MICHELLE!!!!! we are soulmates and tbh i swear we were friends in a past life and when we met we knew because we were instantly best friends and i trust her with my life and tbh i could write a 10 page paper on why i love her and why shes my best friend bc wow a+ what a gal i love her so much and she will always be my #1. i am michelle trash #1
94. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member? nope
95. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? yeah probably
96. Would you ever have sex in the shower or the bath? nope
97. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? im gay
98. Do you think your last ex still wants to be with you? lmao tbh who cares im so over that and like lowkey if she sees this i dont really care bc like so much happened and also i have agf now so it doesnt even matter?
99. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you? IM GAY
100. What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual people? I AM GAY
101. How often do you brush your teeth? depends on if im in a depressive episode or not, but usually at least twice a day
102. How often do you shower?  When was the last time you had a shower? depends on if im in a depressive episode or not but usually every day, and i showered yesterday
103. How often do you shave your legs? lmao like once a week maybe, that also depends on seasons and stuff
104. Political affiliation? liberal 100% like?
105. Opinion on abortion? jesus christ i dont care like im not boutta stop yall
106. Opinion on immigrants/ immigration reform? we need reform bc people need help and we cant just let them die yknow?
107. Should prostitution be legalized? oh god this is lowkey a super loaded question like theres a lot that would go into this holy shit
108. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? literally what does even mean
109. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? good question
110. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? just one?
111. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? being at camp
112. Would you break the law to save a loved one? it depends? but probably?
113. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? probably france? idk i just always liked it?
114. Why are you the person you are? jesus i wish i knew
115. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? id like to think so?
116. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? misunderstandings 
117. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? so many things
118. Were you happy when you woke up today? i mean i got to facetime michelle so
119. What’s a fact about the last person who text messaged you? shes such a good friend and i miss her and i cant wait to hopefully see her in august bc wow its been almost 2 years since we saw each other and i cry every day
120. Want someone back in your life? my grandpa tbh
121. What are you excited for? a lot actually for once
122. Are you scared to fall in love? absolutely terrified 
123. When is your next road trip? um i guess june because im going to pennsylvania?
124. What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? listened to harrys album
125. Do you like to cuddle? yeS
126. Have you ever kissed more than one person in 24 hours? nope
127. Plans for tomorrow? i have no clue
128. Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? probably too much
129. How is life going for you right now? um id say pretty good. definitely better than it was at this point last year
130. If you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept? maybe? idk
131. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? haha yeah lol
132. Could you stay in the same relationship for over a year? i have before so... yes.
133. If you could have one super power what would it be? idk man
134. Background on your cell phone? my dog :’(
135. What are you thinking about right this second? after laughter and how sad/relatable it is ://////
136. Last book you read? How was it? um i still havent finished it but oil and honey and its so good i love bill mckibben so much
137. What is the last thing you bought? halsey tickets :’)
138. Do you live with your parents? yea
139. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? theres really no “sneaking out” of my house anymore bc my dad trusts me to not fuck up?
140. Have you ever met a celebrity? tyler joseph oh my god aleX CAPLOW WOW
141. What are you like when you’re drunk? im super laughy. im a typical drunk girl like idc
142. What are you like when you’re high? chill idk
143. Do you want children? not really
144. Do you want a church wedding? idk probably not tbh
145. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 but i have 4 that i lay on my bed?
146. Have you ever been scuba diving? yeah i wanna go again and get certified tbh
147. Who was your first real crush? yikEs
148. What are you allergic to? nothing i am perfect, evolution did me well
149. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? nope
150. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? neither
151. How did you get your name? my mom chose it 20 minutes before i was born
152. Name one thing about your body you love? my eyes/eyebrows :)
153. What is your biggest goal in life? be happy and have a job that i love
154. Do you still have feelings for your ex? nope
155. Do you think aliens are real? absolutely
156. What age did you start drinking? 15? 16? 17? i dont know
157. What do you think of President Obama? overall good
158. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? i sure hope so?
159. Describe your dream girl/guy? my gf :)
160. Story of your first kiss? lmao nop
161. Story of the first time you made out with someone? lmAO NOPE
162. Story of the first time you had sex? FUCK NOP
163. When did you first have sex? 18 bye
164. First time you gave/ received oral sex? 18 jesus
165. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to? nope but im gonna have to soon kill me i want to die
167. Favorite fictional character (movie, book, tv show)? cosima niehaus
168. How many followers do you have on tumblr? What about twitter/ instagram? 500 something idk? twitter like 200 something and insta 200 something too? idk im not really on insta anymore?
169. Are you friend with your parents on Facebook? who isnt?
170. First time you thought you were in love? When did you realize that you weren’t actually in love with that person? haha lol wow what a mistake jahahahaha
171. Do you talk to yourself? constantly
172. How old will you be on your next birthday? 20 what the fuck
173. How did you meet the last person you kissed? we were in public speaking together rip
174. Do you have any hickies? yea
175. Turn ons? girls
176. Turn offs? boys
177. What qualities did you get from your mom? all of my bad qualities
178. What qualities did you get from your dad? also all of my bad qualities
179. How many siblings do you have? 2 older brothers
180. Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity? nope
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crazykendal · 7 years
Text
Im Not Allowed To Use My Computer But Here I am
Get ready for a ton of grammar errors im sorry
1.) What’s better, having high expectations or having low expectations?
low expectations, if you don't ever want to be hurt
2.) Would you rather go without junk food for a year or go without TV for a year?
i’d go without tv for a year since I never watch tv besides netflix
3.) Describe your perfect man/woman.
not in the mood
4.) Thoughts on school dress codes?
eh doesnt bother me
5.)Any strange phobias?
deep water (still), seeing people during summer because im a mess, abandonment 6.) At what job do you see Donald Trump best fit?
president?? oh but people are gonna hate me if I say that haha fucking hate me more 7.) Who was your first crush?
this one boy I dont think I ever even talked to before, honestly what the actual fuck 8.) Who was your first best friend?
she knows who she is. I dont consider her a best friend but she is my closest friend ever. No its not my cat. Ive known her for 10 years 9.)What is one weird thing about you?
I hate myself but that isnt weird, idk 10.) Top 5 TV shows you like to watch? The walking dead and The 100.. thats just it haha
11.) What are your favorite boys names? oh like friends or actual names. Im going to do just names because im going to stop exposing myself and stop being so honest. actually I have no favorite boy names haha
12.) What are your favorite girls names? Brooklyn haha I haven't finished that stupid wattpad story yet
13.) Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they? no
14.) Do you plan on getting (more) tattoos? If so, what do you want to get as of the moment? i would want to get tattoos if they didnt hurt when applied.
15.) Do you have any piercings? Do you plan on getting more? no
16.) Do you like hugging people? depends on who. but now, no
17.) Think of ANY person on earth right now.  Who did you think of? a friend who im going to see on wednesday
18.) Do you have an iPhone? yeah I dont use it anymore
19.) What is the worst thing that could happen in your life right now? hmm maybe if some guy didnt go to my school next year but that isn't happening
20.) Do you watch anime? no ive watched like 2 animes years ago.
21.) What brings true happiness? getting a grip and letting everything go. Im free of a lot of pain ive been going through for a few months and its the first time ive been truly happy with myself even though I want to fucking- nevermind hahahaha
22.) What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever paid for? I feel like I should know this, but i have no idea
23.) If you could have any job in the world and get paid millions of dollars a year for it, what would you be and why? idk
24.) Do you want children? If so, how many? no
25.) Name and describe someone who you feel most comfortable around. honestly no one, including myself, my trust isnt something everyone has anymore
26.)If you could invent a holiday, what would it be? lexadeservedbetter
27.)Would you rather have summer weather or winter weather all year round? winter weather, gotta be cold like my heart
28.) If you could make an alien race, describe what they would look like. they’d look like all the people I hate so I can murder them
29.)  What was the first thing you learned to cook? i cant cook, I kinda can but it ends up with my mom yelling at me
30.) Describe your sense of humor. Im a joke. people laugh at me because of how fucking stupid I am. I get used to it.
31.) What is the key to happiness? don't worry about anyone else until you've worked yourself out.
32.) How many phone numbers do you have committed to memory? Whose numbers are they? my mom’s and emergency services :)
33.) Name three songs that make you want to dance. Come Over- Clean Bandit, Wasted Youth- Fletcher, and Caught Up- Sarah Close
34.) What job did you want to have as a child? i wanted to be a mom, dont ask me how I thought that was a fucking job besides what the fuck was I even thinking a mom? what. the. fuckkkkk
35.) Do you have any talents or skills? I can get really angry :)
36.) What was the worst punishment you’ve ever had? I was grounded for like 2 months you can ask me how if you want btw
37.) Did you ever do anything weird as a child? yes there were many things
38.) What is your dream car? ooohh I never thought about that probably a pegassi zentorno (doesn't exist in real life look it up)
39.)  Describe something that made you laugh this week. Ive over come stuff that I can finnally look back and realize how stupid I was.
40.) Did you have a dream last night? If so, describe it. i dreamt a lot last week and its so irrelevant to me nowwww
41.)  Do you ever have repetitive dreams? Describe it/them. repetitive like always that one person in them, yeah
42.) Describe the worst/ scariest dream you’ve ever had. I had a really nice dream and I woke up and I was sad hahaha story of my life
43.) Describe the best dream you’ve ever had. ^^
44.) If God himself gave you a choice of either having unlimited money for the rest of your life or finding your one true love starting tomorrow, which one would you choose (keep in mind, you are still able to make a ton of money if you choose love, and you are still able to meet your soul mate if you choose money)? trick question god doesn't exist :) but probably unlimited money because love is fucking useless and retarded
45.) If you could do anything (and I mean ANYTHING) right now without consequences, what would you do and why? run away and see a friend I haven't seen all summer
46.) Do you have any recipes that you know off the top of your head? What is it/ what are they? no
47.) Do you have your license? If so, do you have a car? no
48.) Have you ever had a near death experience? yes im not going to describe it
49.) Do you personally know anyone that has been to prison? yep
50.) Have you ever been in a physical fight?
yep
51.) When you get out of the shower, do you towel dry, blow dry, or air dry your hair? air dry unless I have to go somewhere i will usually blow dry.
52.) When you go to the movies, what snacks and drinks do you take with you? just a ton of candy hahahaha
53.) Do you like going to the beach? If so, do you like to stay dry or go in the water? If not, why? no
54.) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
no
55.) If you could have a superpower ASIDE from being invisible or being able to fly, what would you have? oh my fucking god that's what I was going to write. how bout shape shifting or something
56.) If you were able to live for however long you wanted to (i’m talking thousands of years without aging), when would you choose to die? when I got bored, I cant say lonely because I already am
57.) What do you think happens after you die? youre body stops working and people put you in a hole in the ground
58.) Do you believe in aliens? sure
59.) Do you believe in ghosts? 50/50
60.) Do you believe in spiritual things like ouija boards, tarot cards, and crystals? Do you believe they are portals for evil entities to enter the mortal world? haha no but ouija boards are fun to trick people with haha *Meghan*
61.) If you could make one mythical being real, who/what would you make?
my will to live
62.) Do you get tan, or do you burn? burn
63.) Describe your shower routine. too long
64.) Do you enjoy school? Why or why not? no because the people there suck and its much to stressful
65.) In your opinion, what is the worst way to die? probably falling.
666.) Do you get carsick, sea sick, or airplane sickness? none, ive never been on an airplane so idk
67.) What’s one memory that you wish you could live again and again? ..
68.) What were some of your stuffed animal’s names from when you were a kid? hattie my stuffed chicken haha
69.)Do you have any pets? 69 cats :)
70.) Describe your daily wardrobe. dark
71.)  Describe what your daily wardrobe would be if you were rich. probably the same
72.)  Create a character right now.  Give them a name, age, and character description. are you fucking with me im writing out a new character for some private stuff as I work on this survey.
73.)What was the last thing you bought? a couple books
74.) Have you ever bought a CD? What band was it for? the last cd I bought was hfk :)
75.) Describe your perfect ice cream sundae. cookie dough and im gooood
76.) If you could make ANYTHING happen right now with no cost, trouble, or obstacles, what would you do? cant say but anything could happen by ellie goulding is annoying and I love it
77.) What are some of your favorite physical activities to do? running but I havent run in a long time and im out of shape
78.) What were some of your favorite shows as a child? dont remember
79.) Describe how you would survive the zombie apocalypse. id make a group and Id lead it, id also make sure chandler riggs and alycia debnam-carey would be there because I love them and theyve both been in zombie shows. yesssss
80.)What are some things you shouldn’t say at work? when does the boss retire
81.) If you were told that if you killed someone, you would save 100 people, would you do it? if one the 100 people were clarke griffin, yes.
82.) How’s the weather right now? its dark
83.) What is the background on your cell phone right now? its lexa with a ton of thug life stuff added onto her haha
84.)Is it better to work at a job that you love or a job that pays well? job that pays well
85.) What do you have within arms reach of your bed? my alarm clock
86.) Have you ever been fired from a job? If so, why? no
87.) Have you ever won a trophy, prize, or medal? If so, for what? two stupid school medals and thats it
88.) Do you have any posters, pictures, or art hanging on your walls in your room? If so, what are they? video game map posters, shitty drawing i havent taken down and comic and movie posters
89.) Are you afraid of the dark? If so, why? I used to be haha I think I still am.
90.)What is something that you’ve never done but would like to try? been a good friend to anyone
91.) If you could choose three famous people or characters to be friends with, who would you choose and why? just friends? thats hard. probably Stevie Boebi, Alexis G. Zall and Ally Hills. I would say Shannon Beveridge but I have like this huge crush on her alright
92.) Do you smile at strangers when you pass by them on the street? no because I hate people
93.) Do you have a favorite TV commercial? If so, what is it? life alert
94.) Do you like your handwriting? no it looks like a little kids handwriting
95.) Cable TV or Netflix? netflix
96.) What are your favorite smells? everything at bath and bodyworks please
97.) Do you consider yourself physically strong? I wish dood
98.) Describe a time where you said something really rude or mean, whether intentional or not.
I told some people thing that weren't true about them just because I was really mad. #dickhead
99.) Do you ask strangers to pet their dogs? no
100.)What is your most embarrassing moment?
my lifespan
101.) Has anyone really close to you ever died? If so, who was it and how did you handle it?
 my cat maverick, my grandma and lexa
102.)  Describe your plan of action if you were home alone and you heard someone break into your house.
I gotta knife drawer and i’d love to use it
103.) If you were to be born again, would you want to be born male or female?
male, im not saying i want to be a guy but id like to experience things differently
104.)  What shampoo do you use?
idk
105.) Guess the meaning of this word: ulotrichous.
something horrible, or myself
106.) Do you let messages (phone, email, text, social media, etc…) build up, or do you have to look at them right away?
no one ever texts me im always the one to start a convo and that sucks
107.)  Where is the nearest McDonalds to your house?
probably like 5 miles away
108.)  If you had $1 billion and you had to spend it in exactly one week, what would you spend it on?
id buy a house and a ton of cars even tho I cant drive yet
109.) What is the best thing you’ve ever eaten?
pizza
110.) If you could go on a trip around the world with up to three people, who would you bring (they can be people you know personally or famous people).
ellie goulding, chandler riggs and alycia debnam-carey
111.) What expletive/ explicit phrase do you say most often?
frick frack fuck
112.) What is your personal definition of success?
finishing something the correct way
113.) How was your day today?
ive been doing yardwork and I volenteered at fieldhaven
114.) What is the closest Big City you live by?
sacramento
115.) Have you ever been in a car accident?
yes but they were never serious
116.) Do you hide anything from your parents?
all the time like hmm idk my sexuality
117.) If you could possess one talent, what would you be able to do?
make myself invisible :)
118.) Ugly and smart or beautiful and stupid?
depends on the person
119.) What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen in real life?
myself
120.) Use only 3 words to describe how you want your future to go.
i hate myself
121.) QUICK! give me a few things a brick could be useful for
you can throw them at people
122.) If you could make a dream society, describe it in great detail where it would be, who would be in it, and what rules there would be?
 the lost youth is a band of teens who pull children off the streets and always get into fights with the other gang, the redemption. there will be blood.
123.) If you could make any animal miniature, what would you make and why?
cats
124.) What are your favorite candle scents?
I dont really have and candles so idk
125.) If you HAD to have one plastic surgery, what would you get and why?
my nose
126.) Do you prefer to hang out with the same sex or the opposite sex?
depends on who but right now no one
127.) If you could make a charity, what would the profits go towards? How would you raise money for it?
myself because I am poor
128.) Describe the body you wish you had.
I wish I was taller
129.) If you were a famous director, what would your next movie be about? Describe the plot, characters, and possible title.
the lost youth
130.) If only women were to rule the world, how different would the world be by 2050?
im not being sexist but it wouldn't be all that great but maybe politics could get better I have no idea
131.) What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
chocolate milk :) yes
132.) Do you have a problematic friend?
im the problematic friend
133.) Are you more spontaneous or more of a planner?
depends on the situation
134.) If you could change your full name, what would your name be?
not saying
135.) What is one song that describes your life?
hard times- paramore
136.) What is one show you’ve been meaning to watch but can never find the time for?
the rest of the 100 why the fuck are so many people dying I needed a break after lexa died and now all the nightbloods and lincoln are dead. duh fuck
137.) Do you find it easy to drop toxic people from your life that you’ve known for a long time?
Id have to ask people because people talk behind my back telling them im toxic. if you were me its understandable and im totally alright with it now
138.) Do you like children? Why or why not?
no children fucking suck
139.) What is your zodiac sign?
Pisces rising, Sagittarius sun, and and Capricorn moon
140.) Do you like to dance? Do you dance often? In front of other people?
yes but i cant haha
141.) Name some of your favorite colors.
blue and black and sometimes orange and purple
142.) Have you ever shoplifted? If so, what was it?
no
143.) If you could speak three additional languages, what would they be?
danish, french, and japanese
144.) Have you ever been in legal trouble?
no
145.) Have you ever had surgery?
no
146.) If you could change 2 things about yourself, what would you change and why?
my sexuality and my face haha
147.) What do you want done with your body after you die?
i dont care
148.) What three physical features do people compliment you most on? What do they say about them?
usually my hair because im ugly
149.) If you could have your own business, what would you do?
own a large company, I dont know
150.) What current friend do you have that you’ve known the longest?
im going on vacation with her for a week in Oregon that’ll be funnn
ok so I could totally tag you olivia but I just made you do that other really long one so if you're reading this you can if you want haha
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crymea-river · 7 years
Text
4/24/2017
so ive been lowkey on and off using this tumblr as a journal since i made it about a year ago. i think as a person i need to journal just to get things out of my head bc im really bad at bottling things up but i honestly forget to actually write feelings down (or post here, whatever) and then ill just get back into the habit of not getting my feelings out. idk i kinda like spewing shit into the void on here, but sometimes i think i need to just keep things to myself. like in an actual journal. and ive had journals off and on since like freshman year of high school and i usually stop writing in them around a third of the way through the book (IF that) and..... idk i read a blog post (like a real blog lol not a tumblr blog) about why journaling is so beneficial and why everyone should at least try it and it really made me want to start writing again. i have a really shitty way with words but, again, its so nice to just get feelings out of your system ya know? like i know no one cares on here (part of the reason i consider this more of a journal than an actual tumblr) but theres just something about actually writing things down that feels better. idk. i have no idea if this makes any sense bc im sitting at starbucks and i keep getting distracted by passing conversations and people walking their dogs so my train of thought isnt really that clear and i dont even remember what the point of this was supposed to be..... i guess there is no real point. i just might start journaling in an actual notebook again and i just wanted to let the world know.
side note (well not really a side note, more of a subject change): i move out of my dorm on friday/saturday!!!! im excited to get the fuck out of there. the dorm specifically. i love my school and cant wait to be back in august. i just really want to be in a real apartment and maybe make some new friends next semester. i think im gonna actually go to like campus events and shit and maybe maaayyyybeeee see if there are any clubs or organizations that i can join. something that wont take up too much time (and DEFINITELY not any money) but can give me a place to chill out with some cool peeps and maybe make friends with them. i dont really feel passionately enough about anything to join a club about it though. except for dogs. maybe ill find some cool people that have dogs that i can get to know and when i get a dog i can socialize him/her with them. WHO KNOWS. im excited though. i think the fact that ill have a job over the summer and i have a guaranteed job for when i get back takes off quite a bit of stress because money wont be as big of an issue, ya know? like obvioulsy ill still be tight on money, like it wont be ideal for me for the rest of my life, but its more than plenty for me and a dog to live off of fairly comfortably. as long as i dont waste it on eating out all the DAMN time. thats my biggest issue. like i dont waste money on materialistic things (like 97% of the time i dont at least) but i will BLOW THROUGH A DAMN PAYCHECK AT CHICKFILA. LIKE ITS NOTHING. which is not okay. i think over the summer im gonna try to keep it at once a week. i think thats reasonable. might still be too often though. but like i dont wanna say once a month thats not realistic for me as a person. maybe once per pay period. idk though bc most my money comes from the tips i get, not my paycheck. I think ill keep it at once a week for now and if i get too crazy with it ill cut back. i just really want to have enough money for a dog by december/january (winter break basically). because i want if i dont have the money by then im just gonna wait until the summer to do it. i want to have time to spend with the dog for the first week or two that i have him so that we can get used to each other and so that i can work on crate training before i actually have to implement it for real (like for classes and shit). but i guess ill have to actually implement it because ill still be working over the break....... idk. ill definitely get him after i go home for the holidays, because im really not trying to deal with my parents scolding me for getting a dog lol. and i also wouldnt really have the place for him to stay bc BOTH my mom and dad have made it clear that they dont want extra dogs in their houses. my mom knows im getting one and she thinks im being really smart about it. i feel like if i told my dad and step mom about it they would immediately shut the idea down without listening to my plan though. specifically my part of the plan where i WONT GET A DOG IF I DONT THINK I WILL HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO CARE FOR HIM. like i promise, i will not do this on impulse (even though i do have a habit of acting on impulse with a lot of other things hahaha). when it comes time to actually get the dog i will have been planning this stuff out for over a year. so yeah. fuk off parents. (not really, i luv them). but yeah things are getting exciting over in ariahs world! hopefully things actually work out. and if not i’ll live lol. 
maybe my last post like this? maybe not? idk i already dont post like this that often anyway so it might just stay the same. every once in a while ill give a big ol’ update on whats going on in my life. even though im pretty sure im the only one who reads it lol i like to go back and read all of my “entries” since i started this blog. who doesnt like to read old journal entries though, its fun to see whats changed!
anyway, i think im gonna go on a drive to target (the closest one im pretty sure is in hixon, which is like 20 minutes away from UTC) (idk though chattanooga is pretty big maybe theres a sneaky target around here that i havent found yet) (who knows dude) (bye)  
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