Wednesday, July 5.
Taylor Swift Fan: Woman hides identity because she called in sick to work.
Not all heroes wear capes. That said, some nearly do. Some instead wear a pink, white polka dot towel over their head, adorned with sunglasses to keep the look effortlessly stylish. This magnificent look, like a nonchalant phantom, is then captured on tape forEvermore in live, broadcast interview—and sent gleefully around the World Wide Web. This is a look of disguise as necessitated by trying circumstance, yet fearlessness in the face of tyranny. This is someone who will not be bowed by threats of disciplinary measures such as "verbal or written warnings", "demotions", "pay cuts", "suspensions", or even "termination." This is the look of someone who spits in the face of such threats and then wipes the saliva dribbling down her chin with the towel handily draped over her head. This is Taylor Swift Fan: Woman hides identity because she called in sick to work.
Hers is ultimately a parable of choice—of the decisions made when confronted by tyranny, and the lengths one may take in pursuit of what really matters. Faced with the threats of those "superior" to you, and the opportunity to experience #the eras tour, what would you do? Cow from the promise of disciplinary measures? Or do whatever it takes to attend @taylorswift's magnum opus: a journey through all of her musical eras, a defying feat of over three hours of 44 songs divided into ten distinct acts to portray the albums conceptually, a tour that has received unanimous critical acclaim for its production, striking visual identities, execution of its concept, and Swift's musicianship, vocals, charisma, stamina, and versatility as an entertainer?
Faced with such a dilemma, Taylor Swift Fan did what must be done. She took her phone, feigned a cough, and tickled her nostril until she started sneezing. She called her captors and told them im so sorry *cough* im sick and i wont be able to make it into work today, before taking the lift in her apartment, selecting B (for basement), and emerging in the TayCave below. She walks along a metal walkway, past supercomputers on standby. At the end of the walkway in a pristine glass cabinet, lit up lavender in the darkness, is a mannequin. This mannequin, silent and ready, sports a pink polka dot towel adorned with sunglasses. She presses a taybutton on the Cave wall, and the cabinet opens.
Whoever you are, wherever you are, know that we see you. Know that you are the best of us.
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