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xenisstrange · 2 months

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i don't think anyone outside of this fandom will ever understand what this game has done for me

i was eleven years old lying in my bed with my ipad mini and a pair of earbuds. it was around midnight, way past my bedtime at that age.

i scrolled through my youtube home page and came across a video titled something along the lines of "I CAN TIME TRAVEL???" and started watching.

the gameplay opened with the scene of a girl staring at a massive tornado. and then she woke up in photography class. and then she figured out she could rewind time.

and i was hooked.

then came the bathroom scene. the moment nathan shot chloe, i exited youtube. i was too shocked and stunned to continue. so i put my ipad away and tried to go to bed.

that lasted for less than five minutes.

too curious as to what would happen next, i grabbed my ipad and found the video again.

once i was past the initial shock of what had happened, i found myself falling in love with the art style. i fell in love with the music. i fell in love with the concept, the characters, the universe.

i remember thinking chloe was so cool. i remember wishing i could have a clothing style just like hers.

i remember wishing i had a place like the junkyard where i could escape to.

and i remember relating to max. she's artistic and shy. just like i was.

just like i am.

and then i finished watching episode one. i had to wait two months to see what would happen in episode two. and whenever a new episode did come out, it was always the first thing i watched when i came home from school.

it was like i saw myself in the characters.

kate's rooftop scene broke me. and in coming years, i would relate to her depression far more than i ever realized i would at eleven years old.

chloe's anger stunned me. i didn't realize why i felt so connected to the intensity of it then, but knowing what i was to experience in my teenage years, it now makes sense.

max's sensitivity made me feel so seen. and she was just as creative as i wished to be. i bought an analog camera when i was fifteen just because i wanted to take polaroids like her.

i wanted to be in the world of life is strange. i wanted to experience true friendship (and more) like what max and chloe had because up until then, i felt so alone.

this game made me feel understood. this game made me feel like i could make my life an adventure. this game gave me hope for the future.

i finally played the game myself when i was thirteen. it was the second game ever in my steam account.

but throughout high school, i forgot about the game for a bit, only getting re-obsessed for a short while when before the storm came out. i finally played life is strange 2 in the summer of 2020, when i rediscovered life is strange during covid lockdown. and then came true colors. i played that one the day it got released.

even though the new games are amazing, and the characters' relatability is just as strong, the original life is strange will forever hold a special place in my heart. in a way, it formed who i am as a person today. just ask anyone who was in my life when i started saying "hella" in every sentence.

a few days after i turned eighteen, i realized "i am the age of the characters in life is strange."

and that was crazy to me.

i had grown up with these characters, wondering if my life would ever be as interesting or as venturesome as theirs. and now i was the same age as them.

and then i became older than them. and my life has most definitely not been the adventure i'd hoped for.

but i've come to accept this, as max and chloe are video game characters, and i live in the real world.

but that's why i hold the first life is strange game in such a special place in my heart. these characters were there for me when real people weren't.

this game taught me the difference in morals and beliefs, because what one person thinks is wrong might be right to someone else. this game taught me to be kind to others, to show compassion and empathy, because you never know what someone is going through.

this game taught me not to be afraid to love.

because if i were to be chloe, then someday my max would make a return.

#life is strange #lis #max caulfield #chloe price #life is strange before the storm #life is strange true colors #max and chloe #sorry this is so long #i just have a lot of feelings ok #i love life is strange sm

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yuelun · 2 months

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This will one day be a much larger post (I've already started working on it) as thoughts and details settle, but I wanted to make some quick notes (who am I kidding, this won't be a short post) here so that you guys know where my thoughts are. Just as I personally also ascribe (though I do not assume people to do the same, of course!) to the theory of ZL being a Sun-King (and potential brother to) alongside King Deshret and then Remus and/or Decarabian for numerous reasons after personally researching it myself, I also am being faced with too many coincidences when it comes to Guizhong possibly being one of the three moon sisters (or at the very least, a Seelie), who I believe to be part of a 'Seven' alongside the aforementioned four Sun-kings. Which, if the returning and reinforced leaks of Guizhong's likelihood of playability is to even be roughly taken as a possibility, then there needs to be reason for it. There's a popular theory that the Moon Sisters were shades of the Primordial One alongside Istaroth, if that is true, there may be reason in there to bring her back (even for the Tsaritsa), considering I feel like a big endgame next to the arc of Khaenri'ah, is/will be a faceoff with Celestia. Any way, this is a little incoherent, but let me put down a little list of things I want to touch on, but just can't write the full post of yet. These are just my little (ha!) thoughts.

Edit: Nevermind, it got long, it's very long, but if you like your lore and you're interested in knowing how looney deep I went with this, keep on reading! I will however, be making more parts to this as I continue on and gather lore bits. I also like documenting my journey of meta, so I can see what I thought six months prior, you know? Enjoy!

The Chasm. I'll forever stay stuck on how this part of the 'Stories of Remote Antiquity' OST plays during Guizhong's death scene. Our beloved Hoyoverse doesn't do anything by coincidence, they never once have. If they wanted to do something tragic, there are other Liyue OSTs out there that will punch you in the gut equally as much if not more. But this? This is oddly intentional. Ever since, I've been trying to figure out any potential ties to it, and with the Chenyu Vale theory out and about, claiming Guizhong to be the unnamed god (female and ever kind) that the three adepti served, another tie may be created through the fact that the people from Chenyu Vale originate from the Chasm (there's numerous tidbits as to why people tie her to Chenyu; I'd suggest the video, it's easier for now!). I also think, on some level, that if she is tied to the origins of the Chasm in some way, that it was her "descension" (or 'fall') that led to its unique creation. I don't know how the dots connect, but I've identified the dots, kind of, maybe.

The insane references to the night/moon. Her color scheme, the night sky in her sleeves, and the fact that she is inherently tied to the Glaze Lilies (which are known to bloom only at night). Furthermore, if you recognize and/or adhere to the fact that the Rite of Parting does not contain ingredients that befit Rex Lapis but instead seem to very much align with her, then there's also the Noctilucous Jade (I literally just realized that it's jade) which is known to glow at night. And then there's her inventions, which are all golden and sun-like in color scheme and I think of that line of lore about the Moon Sisters: "These three luminous moons shared but one love, the stars of daybreak." Daybreak, gold, golden, light, the sun. I'm losing my mind as I'm typing this. Any way, I digress, Noctilucous Jade is found underground, in caverns and more specifically, is rather abundant in the Chasm (my dearly detested). I've accepted that I just have an affinity to characters who seem to have either a direct or indirect tie to this place. I'll never escape it, I'll become one of its victims. /breathes, let me move onto the next point.

The Glaze Lilies. Now, while we know the Goddess of Flowers isn't a Moon Sister (this'll get tied in, I promise, please try to follow me here), the fact that she is a Seelie is important enough, for the three Moon Sisters were said to have lived alongside the race of the Seelies. This might mean some shared traits. Now even Seelies are noted to have an intricate tie to the moon, and a thing that the Goddess of Flowers was known for, was that when she danced, Padisarah flowers bloomed under her feet. 'But Sae, the Glaze Lilies didn't bloom when Guizhong danced', no no, I'll get there. It was specifically when she danced, or was around them. What I'm doing is tying these flowers to her more specifically, which is further enforced by the fact that after the Goddess of Flowers died, the Padisarahs dwindled in number until they became fully extinct. The ones you see today are not the real ones, they are replications created by Rukkhadevata herself in memory of her former friend. I note this, because a similar thing has occurred to the Glaze Lilies. In the aftermath of Guizhong's death, the Glaze Lilies that once populated the Guili Plains and Dihua Marsh have dwindled into extinction, and the only reason why they are found in Liyue today in some capacity, is because of Morax' direct influence (last few lines; and yes, I'm aware this is 'unreleased canon' at present, but none in this contradicts our current lore in any way, so I bear no qualms in making even loose use of it), but this seems to also insinuate that the Glaze Lilies that we see today, are not the real ones. So in essence, when the moment of the departure/death of the Goddess of Flowers came about, a specific flower associated with her came to perish as well. Is it a concept of, if the creator (one tied so intricately to the moon) is gone, do her creations wither away much in the same way? Now to mention one final thing, is the flower that most closely resembles the Glaze Lily: the Nilotpala Lotus. Not only do they share a color palette and very similar design, they share the peculiar behavior of blooming only at night, when subjected to the light of the moon itself. Now the most important thing to note here, is that the Nilotpala Lotuses were literally created and bloomed when the Moon Sisters stepped foot into Teyvat. One could, in essence, see the two flowers as 'lunar flowers'. Listen, I've never quite liked coincidences.

Dust. Now, this is a little more of a 'loose' connection and also me slightly rambling about something else that intrigues me to the moon and back (no pun intended), but it has my mind going insane nonetheless. Also, the very end is a reach, I'm aware, we know next to nothing about the Shades. Any way, Guizhong is inherently tied to two things: dust and alchemy. And these two become even more important when combined. Now, you'll have to strap in and wait for the little 'tie-in' at the end, because this can take a little bit. Her God name is 'Haagentus', which stems from Haagenti, one of the demons from the Ars Goetia. Within demonology, Haagenti is firmly tied to alchemy and transmutation, and while I'm not going to focus too much on specifics outside of the game, it is noted that 'he makes men wise by instructing them in every subject, transmutes all metals into gold, and changes wine into water and water into wine.' Sound fitting enough already, no? Now, outside of her name, let me hone in on some really clear alchemy references that you can find on and around her person. When you look at her design, Guizhong has numerous accessories that seem to be very closely resembling alchemy keys or symbols of some kind (this is not my area of expertise, but I will make it so if need be after this post, unless someone recognizes these symbols), primarily the 'pin' that holds the main portion of her hair back, a tattoo on her upper back, the 'petals' on her sleeves, and what has me most intrigued are the following two things: the symbols actively floating around her (and for clarity, see her cutscene, timestamped, shows them to be animated and coming from her and not the Cleansing Bell), and her anklet in a similar shape (which also seems to be a unique design in Genshin so far). Now, with alchemy established, let me hound on something that ties dust into alchemy, and what it means within Teyvat. Yes, I'm going to touch on its importance within the Art of Khemia, an advanced form of alchemy that is said to have been closely tied to Khaenri'ah (and might I note: Guizhong is noted to have numerous Ruin Guards, Khaenri'an technology, in her domain roughly 2000 years before they ever reached the surface of Teyvat's). Any way, this is where I need to touch on Albedo's character details, specifically the following:

"The universe is heaven reversed, and the earth is a dream lost to time. This is dust, the most basic form of complex life." As if to provide evidence for this claim, Albedo lifted the burnt ash of the flower that once grew atop a Dendro Slime's head. Seconds later, a Cecilia sprouted forth from the ash in his hand. "And this... is new birth."

And then from the caption in Collected Miscellany - "Albedo: Kreideprinz":

"Soil and chalk, the universe and earth, pure dust and the birth of human life... There is no mistaking it."

A little tie to the creation of life, interesting, indeed. Alright, now while it's not canon by any means, it is a popular enough theory that the Moon Sisters were three (out of four) of the Primordial One's Shades. And one of them is noted to have been in part responsible for the creation of life. Now I'm not tying this Shade into Guizhong, but I'm simply drawing the potential importance of her title of 'God of Dust' into the equation, or simply to reiterate the importance of dust within the existence of Teyvat as a whole as it stands today. And what it might mean if she was indeed, a Moon Sister (to tie into this, the 'Sun-Kings' are also firmly tied to the creation of life; I believe most of this 'generation' of gods would be). Anyway, continuing!

Now, there is a reference (which I do have to note is a legend and nothing more, but we'll take it to heart) that tells me that it's certain that at least two Moon Sisters are 'confirmed' dead, by account of there being only one moon left in Teyvat's sky, instead of three. The legend notes that two 'shattered into dust' (hello, dust) and subsequently disappeared which seems to be indicative of their death, and one secluded herself within the Lunar Palace and was never seen again. Now the tale of legends recounts that the moon we still see is tied to the corpse of a Moon Sister, but how has that one endured when the other two have not? There are no remains of the other two, why not? Unless the third Moon Sister didn't actually die, or 'fully' die. Bear with me, this is where it gets very hypothetical, but it makes enough sense in my head, I'm mostly just having issues putting all of this into proper words. The reference given above is from Moonpiercer, an Aranara weapon. These little green friends had seen the Moon Sisters descend into Teyvat multiple times (we know this, due to the much earlier referenced blooming of the Nilotpala Lotuses), and at one point no longer saw them come down. Whatever 'calamity' occurred during which the Moon Sisters were said to have died, the Aranara reference that they died, and noted the way in which they perished, but unless this information was given to them by the envoys between Teyvat and Celestia, the Seelies, this would have consisted of pure speculation and assumption. After all, everything returns to dust, even deities such as the Moon Sisters. What if that's exactly what happened with the third Moon Sister? What if her death never occurred, or, what if the death was more symbolical in a sense of, she strayed from that level of divinity, what if she fell from the Lunar Palace and landed in... the Chasm? The place that is said to have been created by a large impact to its region, and later on also was the location of the fall of the Solar Chariot?

In essence, yes, I'm making the argument that Haagentus might just be this specific Moon Sister. 'But Sae, she's dead now, isn't she?' Yes, but look at the condition that she's in upon her death: she is encased in stone, fully petrified (and who is the only one we know to wield such power?), and even the dust that abandoned her, is encased overhead (again, a power we see Zhongli wield during the final cutscene in Perilous Trail without barely lifting a finger). What if the only reason that the final moon has not gone out and dark over Teyvat, is because her remains have been tied to the lands by Zhongli himself, who if you ascribe to the theory of Sun-King Zhongli, has even more reason to not let her go?

/munches on a cookie as a little reward for myself for managing to finish all of this semi-coherently, and gives you a cookie for having gotten through all of this.

#[ meta. ] her manuscripts still lie unfinished in her abode. the blank pages give one cause for contemplation on what might have been.#[ /wipes sweat from brow. ]#[ the amount of times i distracted myself during this? crazy. '30 minutes' i said. I said that when i'd started on the 'dust' paragraph. ]#[ and that was the part where i kept doing more research and everything got so much more complicated-- but also not. ]#[ it's almost like; will any of this make me change my mind? the answer was nope. ]

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animehouse-moe · 7 months

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Well, Tumblr decided to bug out on me and I've now lost the original question that was asked, but someone had asked for my favorite series (be it manga/anime/movies/Tv/etc), and this was my response.

(first of all, so sorry for losing the question! I should have taken a screenshot or something when Tumblr wouldn't let me post)

It's all good, I enjoy getting these types of questions because they make me think about this stuff haha. I'm not one to really do well with the idea of favorites, so having to pin down stuff like this can be interesting for me!

That said, for this one I might just stick with anime for the list to make it a little easier. I can definitely do a top ten of manga or other stuff later on though. Also, this list will be in no particular order because I'd be stuck forever trying to figure out a satisfying order for them.

Sonny Boy

I think it's a very fair point to argue, that at this stage in his career, Sonny Boy is Shingo Natsume's magnum opus. There's just not much else to it. It's a series that he created, from his own mind and talent, and he executed on that. There are very, very few people that work in anime that can manage a feat such as that. In terms of story, I don't have any issue with claiming Sonny Boy is the pinnacle of high school storytelling. It stretches the fabric of reality so far that you might struggle to claim that it's about high school, but the longer that you spend with it, the more undeniable a fact it becomes. Or maybe you could generalize it to the human condition, or how the cracks in society will fester and form no matter the condition, or how authority will always appear in a self-serving manner, or this or that or any concept under the sun.

Terror In Resonance

Call me crazy, but there's quite a few reasons why this is the Shinichiro Watanabe anime for me. Bebop and Champloo have rose colored glasses that adorn every fan in the community, so I feel like it's hard to really take a proper look at it compared to Terror In Resonance (even though it has a similar amount of users on MAL). As a Mappa project, it is simply the best they've ever been from start to finish. As a concept, Watanabe's approach is impeccable as it examines the frustration and sorrow of displaced children in a society that never wanted them. It's powerful, concise, and from start to finish an incredibly focused series filled with some of the crowning achievements of animators in the industry. Seriously. Takashi Hashimoto, the animator for this cut, actually did all the math to calculate the speed of the smoke as it fell and moved. Some of the best work you'll see on an anime.

Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song

I am a big, big fan of Tappei Nagatsuki's work, so being able to experience an anime that is entirely his vision of the work is really impressive. It's one of the biggest struggles with artists, I find. Understanding their work through different mediums. What you see as an anime is not what they created as a manga, or light novel. But this is different, it is Nagatsuki's (and Umehara's) sole vision, the entire intent behind their creativity. And WIT knocked it out of the park to an insane degree. As a post-AoT studio, they showed just how far they can push their creativity and execution on a series beyond human. Incredible story, incredible animation, arguably some of the best hand to hand combat we've seen in an anime in a very long time. It's just that good.

Cyberpunk: Edgerunners

Maybe you see a trend going on with my picks, and while yes it's partly recency bias, it's also a gravitation towards anime originals. I'll add a piece to that at the end, but this is about Edgerunners right now. I was in high school when the video game was first announced. That's a decade ago, now. I played the shit out of 2077 when it dropped, and I'm absolutely eating up Phantom Liberty currently. It is then, absolutely no surprise, that I've placed Edgerunners on a pedestal. But of course, there's also a reason that Edgerunners is in the top 100 anime on MAL, and why it's Trigger's highest rated anime. It's just that damn good. An incredible story revolving around Night City and the themes that Mike Pondsmith laid the groundwork for decades ago. A true tribute to the tabletop game and the genre at large.

The Tatami Galaxy

I don't think there's a way I couldn't put The Tatami Galaxy on this list, truthfully. Of course, that also encompasses the sequel ONA The Time Machine Blues, and spinoffs like The Night Is Short, Walk on Girl. Tomohiko Morimi is a genius, Yusuke Nakamura is an icon, and Masaaki Yuasa is a savant. Incredible work for such an incredible story and message about the pursuit of perfection and the beauty that lies in the present. Arguably, much like titles such as Sonny Boy, these are 100% must watch titles for an anime fan. I'd highly recommend the others still, but these two represent such core and important aspects to how people choose to lead their lives and the frameworks that they do so within, that I strongly believe it's a requirement. I also wrote a review on the novel when I read it in January of this year.

Heike Monogatari

I think history is a very important thing to understand. I also think that history can be presented as obtuse, disinteresting, or too literal - especially in relation to history stories or myths. Heike Monogatari by Science Saru is arguably one of the greatest examples of how to display a modernized version of such a foundational tale to the history of Japan. It's also an incredibly powerful moment for the director, Naoko Yamada, as it was their first real work since the arson attacks on her home studio of Kyoto Animation. Because of the weight of her past, her work beyond words on this anime feels that much more powerful considering its messages about the past and fear of the future. It's wonderfully emotional, and contains one of my favorite closing scenes to a series.

The Saga of Tanya The Evil

Light novel aside, anime quality aside (though both are great), there's a separate reason this title is featured on this list: the adaptation. It is, for lack of a better term, borderline insane as an adaptation. It bears almost no similarity to its source. The tone is different, the scope and scale differ, there's significant changes in terms of narrative, and even the order of large scale events differs. But still, somehow, it remains a fantastic series. Bearing nearly zero resemblance to what it claims to adapt, it is something that I love. It's an incredible feat, and the gold standard of its one-of-a-kind approach to adapting a light novel.

Mononoke

Horror is a very hard thing to do right, at least in my opinion. Many get suckered into thriller territory very quickly, and avoid the psychological nature of horror. The immovable nature of something fearful standing in front of you, the slow descent into madness and despair. Mononoke grasps that incredibly well, and earns a spot on this list because of it's appeal in that manner. Also, the art is just incredible, personifying the more classical style that would be associated with the creatures and myths that pepper the story. I'm incredibly excited to see what comes from the upcoming movie.

Welcome To The N.H.K

While it may differ between its three formats, the core of the story stands strong. Impossible to put into words, it's more of a descent than anything. A descent that turns inwards on each of the characters as they slowly lose their grip on reality, as they continue to fall apart, piece by piece. I have my qualms about how they choose to end it, but I am a very bitter man at my core so it's more a personal difference than a quality one. Regardless, if you want an acid trip down the rabbit hole of depression, mania, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and all manner of other illness, there's no better story than Welcome To The N.H.K.

Toradora!

There's something special about Toradora to me. Is it the era that the anime comes from? Is it the appeal to a classic style of romance without falling prey to the issues of the layout? I'm unsure. But something about it feels so… comfortable, to me. I could watch it again and again and enjoy each minute. It's probably not the best romance anime out there, but it's one that I'll always be drawn to.

And with that, the list is over. Just to provide some extra context and honorable mentions, I'd love to have put series like Alien 9 or Monogatari on the list, but the challenge with them is the fact that the first is a shorter OVA, and the latter is a much larger series encompasses nearly too much to explain in this sort of context. There's really quite a few series like that that I struggled with when forming this list, but they're still really great titles nonetheless.

Anyways, the anime original point. While it's sort of an unconscious thing, I do realize what I do with it. Anime originals present something that you can't experience elsewhere. They are the end all be all of their creative vision, and that excites me more than a manga adaptation. Following someone else's blueprint vs creating your own, obviously one is more interesting than the other. And that sentiment extends to some of the other titles on the list like Heike Monogatari which approaches a classic story with a radical new viewpoint, or Tanya The Evil which basically forgoes the vast majority of its source material. It's really something I struggle with at large with adaptations. So many people want to leave their marks on the work, but quit just short of doing so in a meaningful manner. Very few go the mile to say that they did something in regards to the work, and instead meddle with it in minor ways which can negatively impact its reception as the original material. A great example of valuable changes is Heavenly Delusion. The team under Hirotaka completely re-arrange the order of events in the anime, and in doing so elevate the series in a way that only they can. Anyways, I digress, a discussion that I should leave for another time. This is my list, it may not be the best list out there, but it is mine.

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tiffanylamps · 1 year

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Top 5 movies and top 5 paramore songs! :^D

oooooh, these are very good, but also, very hard 😂

top 5

top 5 movies*: Pride and Prejudice (dir. Joe Wright, 2005) CINEMATOGRAPHY! The display of love and chemistry! Familial love is fully on display!! Yes, I know it's not a faithful adaptation and it softens a lot of the important themes of the novel annnnd Wright changed the time period because he doesn't like the fashion of the Regency era (which is super lame) and the hair was not great, buuuuuuut he also gave us the hand flex, that ballroom scene, that proposal, also one of my favourite sequences ever in cinema history (i.e, the oneshot take of lizzy being embarrassed by her family at the Netherfield Ball). Snatch (dir. Guy Richie, 2000) This film is hilarious, witty, and just soooo good. It means a lot to me for tmi reasons- but still, I recommend it as it's a stellar example of the heist genre. Everything Everywhere All At Once (dir. Daniel Kwan + Daniel Scheinert, 2022) Doesn't need explaining. Hot Fuzz (dir. Edgar Wright, 2007) One of the best films ever made by one of my favourite directors in one of my favourite trilogies brought together by one of my favourite trio of collaborators. Plus, there are BE similarities, which I find assuming. The Merciless (dir. Bung Sung Hyun, 2017) Thank you for convincing me to watch this film, I love it sooo much! It's fantastic! Everyone should watch it!!! (I recommend you watch Dear Ex. It made me cry, even though the ending is a little cheesy) *I found this almost impossible to answer. These are not a be-all-end-all top 5 for me, but they are the movies that came to mind.

top 5 paramore songs**: i can't decide, so this is a very hesitant list. i'm only linking live performances (if I can) because they're fantastic live (one of the best, imo)

Future The lyrics to this song!!!! 😩😩😩 for the longest time I wanted to get a tattoo of them, especially the last verse. I'm semi-glad I didn't, even though I love them, I don't know how I would feel having them now You First I know I've already sent this to you, but it's a super fun song and I looove it!!! Their latest album is just so perfect No Friend Not the most conventional answer, as most people don't like this song. But I don't care! I think it's one of their most experimental and beautiful songs, especially when paired with Idle Worship (which is basically its part 1). It is the only song not sung by Hayley, as its lyrics are written and performed by Aaron Weiss of mewithoutyou (WHO ARE BRILLIANT LIVE, BY THE WAY). Honestly, I've been lucky enough to see them perform this song and it was memorising. (the performance I linked is not the best out there but it is the performance I saw) Part II Let The Flames Begin and Part II are such cool songs and I love that they exist. The video I linked is of their Reading performance and even though Hayley was super sick (from what I can remember, she had laryngitis and had to cancel some of their tour to prepare for the Reading + Leeds festival), so she doesn't sound her best but she still gives it her all. Careful THE DRUMS. THE VOCALS. Honourable mentions: All We Know, Never Let This Go, Here We Go Again, Conspiracy, Emergency, When It Rains, Fences, Stop This Song (Love Sick Melody), We Are Broken, Hallelujah, When It Rains, Miracle, For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic, the new version of Crush Crush Crush, All I Wanted, Feeling Sorry, Turn It Off, My Heart, Anklebiters, Now, Interlude: Moving On, Idle Worship, Pool, Rose-Colored Boy, 26, Caught in the Middle, Forgiveness, Monster, Playing God, Decode, Thick Skull, Figure 8, Crave (especially with the live outro), The News, Running Out Of Time, C'est comme ça, Renegade, IGNORANCE, I CAUGHT MYSELF (especially live), Oh Star, TELL ME IT'S OKAY special shoutout to Daydreaming because I was there when they filmed the music video (the live parts)

** this was especially difficult to do 😂

This took me forever to compile together- oops, i guess lol. Thank you for sending me this ask 💛💛

#i don't know when to shut up lol #ask game #ask answered #thank you <3 #🥰 mutuals 🥰 y'kno??

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annwayne · 10 months

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15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Thanks for the tag @freesia-writes I didn't completely forget about this no not at all

Were you named after anyone?

My middle name is the same middle name my biomom wanted to give me, and it's also my aunts middle name.

When was the last time you cried?

Lol yesterday? Crying for me isn't about sadness, it's just about Too Much Emotion. So I can be pissed and cry because I'm too mad. Yeah, it's totally fun 🙄

Do you have kids?

No and I never will. I'd be happy to be a supportive adult figure to kids if anyone in my family or friend circle ever has any, but those chances are low.

Do you use sarcasm?

Often. But it's rarely understood even when I use the appropriate tone indicators. So much so, that my parents made up a special name for my kind of sarcasm when I was a kid. But they didn't believe me when I first told them I was autistic 🙃

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Depends on the setting. In person I'll notice clothing and hair style first. Online I notice how fluent in tumblrese one may or may not be.

What’s your eye color?

Blue.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I don't understand the use of 'or' here, because several scary movies have happy endings. So both. I like scary movies, though this is a recent development. The Haunting of Bly Manor and Midnight Mass are two of my favorite spooky things-though they are not movies. I love the energy of Slashers but not the gore. Alien horror is probably my favorite subgenre of horror. I'm thrilled for the attempted Alien reboot even though they were meh movies, they still scratched that itch. David is a gift to the universe however, and must be feared cherished forever.

Any special talents?

I find this question difficult. A toddler may have talent in the arts and that would be an apt description for someone so young to show increased level of development in a particular area. But for myself, an adult who's put hundreds of thousands of hours into my so called "talents?" At that point they've turned into skills. So for special skills, which I'll take to mean unusual or uncommon skills, I have an adept eye for color. There's this game called "I love hue too" which makes puzzles out of colors-I am very good at it. The best word I can come up to describe this skill is Therapy Skills, so I'll just call it that-but I've learned a lot of therapy skills over the past three years of therapy that improve my day to day life. I include this because from my social circle irl, it seems what I know is not commonly known or understood. And it takes more than just knowing to do them. That's vague, but it's hard to explain. Lastly, I'll mention my ability to navigate so long as I can see the sky (no skyscrapers.) Which is funny, because my sense of direction is shit when I'm in place. Once I get moving, however, I can find my way back to a previously visited location. Don't ask how-just know it worked enough to relay on in a mountain side town in Italy without google maps to assist us. (Maps are my enemy.)

Where were you born?

A dumb place that I'm happy to be away from.

What are your hobbies?

Obviously writing and drawing. I also enjoy games: card, board, or video. I love tv and movies, film in general since I spend a lot of time listening to long youtube video essays when I'm working around the house. Cooking and baking are hobbies, but they take a lot of energy out of me. I like to sing and generally like music, but I've not had much time to listen to anything recently. I also know how to crotchet and less than the basics of sewing, but I'd love to learn more. I just don't learn well from videos.

Have any pets?

Orange tabby named Cheddar. He recently got three teeth out because of something that happens to old cats and their teeth. Now when he yawns he's missing one fang. (The other two teeth were back molars)

What sports do/have you played?

A lot. I think over-exercising and constant dieting as a kid fucked my body up honestly. Swim, Cross Country, Track and Field (Discus and Shotput), Basket Ball and Volley Ball. Oh, and Soccer can't forget soccer.

How tall are you?

5'9" or 152.4 cm

Favorite subject at school?

Thinking forward, since I'm maybe a year of classes away from graduation, I'm curious about the technical writing class that's offered and I'm excited to get into research and writing. I've always felt a little lost when it came to doing "proper" research-what does that even mean? Looking back, since I only have major requirements left, Mixed Media Experimentation left a big impact on me as an artist (isn't that a riot? Went from an Illustration to Writing Degree.) I had a "China" class that fulfilled some general requirements that has always stayed with me. It's odd, because it was kinda everything that could be taught about China was bundled up bite size for the class. Culture, history, and current events all in one. I'd love to attend more classes like that for other countries. And I wish I'd had a better history education in general. I don't know when things happen, and dates are just vague numbers to me. But I love listening to Kaz Rowe's videos.

Dream job?

Book agent. I know, not an artist or a writer. I don't want to write my own books-I have no interest in making original fiction. At most, I might write a few non-fiction personal essays or poems that I might try to get published in a lit mag. But what I really want to do is get books I want to read published. I want to help authors who are passionate about their stories get good deals with publishing houses, especially anything queer, monster fuckery (and real monsters not blue greek gods or normal ass men who can use magic and live to be 1000), and smutty.

It seems everyone I know within the tbb circle has been tagged for this, so I'll throw a few to my other circles and ya'll can ignore if you want: @commander-krios @klynnvakarian @bagheerita @inconsistent-at-best @wonderingaround1980 @tarysande @chaniis-atlantis @all-mighty-yaoiyuri @anonmadsci

#ask game #if youre a moot and I didn't tag its because you're too cool and I'm scared to tag you #kmksjdf #annwayne extended lore #thats my new tag for shit about me

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jaderimehardt · 2 months

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Supplies! \o/

I only ordered a few additional items to help fuel my motivation with pencil drawing, because I already have so many supplies as it is- and they arrived today. One thing in particular was critical, as it was a solvent. It's what's going to give me a "painting" looking effect with my colored pencils on water color paper.

Couple other things were more 'quality of life' things that I've seen my new favorite artists use and I never knew existed. I believe I'm ready to go now! All that's holding me back is time, inspiration (which comes and goes), and skill (that I keep educating myself daily on- but I need practice too).

👆🏻 New stuff I got today.

👆🏻 After I opened the pencils and eraser. You can see how thin the eraser stick is- which is great for getting into smaller areas for finer details. I have thicker eraser sticks and I've used those for years but it could never get into small areas for details and that's something that has always bothered me about it. It's something I always wished it could do.

This matte pencil set really caught my attention as someone who loves the anime Bleach. Even as someone who just loves drawing in the manga style in general. A set of black pencils is a must have, imo 💗. I will be using these a lot. Both of these.

Before I show off more of my junk (lol, I'm not joking, a lot of my supplies are nearing like, 10 years old aside from this new stuff 👆🏻) - you'd be surprised at the shelf life of art supplies.

I want to throw in another art video that I found today that I think would be incredibly helpful for people out there, especially to people who are just starting out or people who are struggling, OR people who are trying to speed up their art poses, OR looking to improve their poses.

It's not mine, it's from the same person I've been linking the past two days now? I think it's safe to say I love his videos 🥰

youtube

Drawing poses for me is 50/50. Sometimes I can breeze through them, and other times it's a total miss (takes me forever to figure out what I'm doing). I don't know if it comes down to... I don't know what pose I want to do? Or if I just don't know how to do the pose that I want to do. It's probably 50/50 on that too, lol 😅

I know I struggle with hands and I have to reference hands a lot. But in any case, I liked this vid a lot, and if I could only recommend one art vid to watch, it'd be this one. Or at least it'd be in the top 5.

Cause you don't want to be like me where someone tells you to buy this thing:

Yep, that's right. I own one. I bought it when I worked at an Arts & Crafts store several years ago. (retail job, oh boy~ 🫠)

And you do the thing because you love to draw. You buy it. But you have zero academic knowledge of art, you simply doodle in your free time. No level of object perspective or education/knowledge in shading/toning/coloring. So when you go to draw this "doll" to paper, it looks completely ~flat~.

That vid will teach you how to avoid that. How to NOT do that. So, I suggest watching that vid. You want your characters to look like they have some life, right? 🤨

(Also yes, my bedroom is an octopus playground. I have 30+ octopus plushies. 🐙💓 Think I've mentioned this before in a very old post, but if I post pictures, you're likely to see an octopus.)

When I found all these amazing videos from these fantastic artists, I went rummaging for all my old art supplies and found a plethora of stuff.

👆🏻 Art books. I have a ton of paint brushes too but I didn't take pictures 🖌️. I actually started using some of them for makeup pre-covid (and then stopped wearing makeup entirely), and then I started using some for mica powder with my resin projects.

I need to clean them and figure out which ones I want to designate where 😅. Paint brushes are honestly very versatile, especially as an artist. They're handy to have around.

I found my miniature hoard of colored pencils. I don't have large sets- just a bunch of small sets. So this should be interesting but I don't see this as a bad thing because I'm technically still a beginner. If this does become a hobby I love and dive deep into- sink into, get consumed in... I'll upgrade my "tools", i.e. my pencil sets. But for now this is way more than enough.

👆🏻 On the left (or the very top depending on how tumblr is putting these in order), the black pencils are the snoopy pencil set. This is an exclusive set I got when I went with my Mom and a friend of hers/ours to the Charles M. Schwartz Museam. I remember being on the fence about buying this set because it wasn't exactly cheap 🙃 but the opportunity to buy it again was... well, unforeseeable.

Looking at them now, the price of the set is average (in today's market, but this was years ago so it was rather pricey back then). I just clearly haven't used them much, if at all 😅

And at the time I didn't know you could buy these online. They're here if anyone is interested: https://charles-m-schulz-museum.myshopify.com/products/time-for-school-colored-pencil-set

The image on the right (or bottom) is all my washi tape! This is used for taping down watercolor paper to keep it from warping. I'm actually so glad I found all of this.

There's just a few things I'd like to gather together still, but I have them around the house. I want to put them in my little "drawing cubicle", lol. Like a petri dish and sand paper. Two watercolor glasses... 🤔💭

Just have everything in one place~ to easily grab and have ready to go at any time 😊

#jade.blog #Youtube

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creaturesfromelsewhere · 3 years

Text

Horror Pinball Paradise Lurks in Tarpon Springs, FL

"Ever since I was a young boy, I've played the silver ball." -The Who

Recently I paid my first visit to a peculiar little museum in the quiet little town of Tarpon Springs, FL, which lies just to the north of St. Petersburg and Clearwater. Unlike most museums, the Replay Amusement Museum is strictly hands-on and this museum is filled with horrors. Horror-themed pinball machines, that is. Something about this particular genre of pin always fascinated my friends (fiends?) and I, even as tiny little monsters. Unlike other pinball machines, these weren't 'nice'. They growled. They wanted to scare you. They played creepy music and unleashed nightmarish sounds upon the arcade. In short, they were irresistible to the darkly inclined! Instead of using quarters at Replay, you pay an entrance fee and you can play until you drop, or until closing time, whichever comes first.

Replay boasts almost all of the best horror machines, staring the number one, best selling pinball machine of all time, The Addams Family, based on the 1991 movie staring Angelica Houston and Raul Julia. This machine has sold a whopping 20,000+ units and is usually ranked as a top 5 personal fav of anyone who plays. Tons of sound captured from the movie puts this game into a category all it's own with world class gameplay to boot.

The second best selling horror-themed pin doesn't break the top ten, but comes in at the 11th best selling machine, and Replay has it, too. The Twilight Zone. As with The Addams Family, there's a huge arsenal of voice and sound straight from the 1960's TV show.

Now we move into the more niche games. They sold well enough, and are usually well regarded, but they were always harder to find and you rarely saw more than one of them in the same place. Call them victims of the 'we already have a horror pin' syndrome. My personal fav, Haunted House, is blessedly here and it looks almost brand new. Hadn't played it in forever and it was just like seeing an old friend who has been absent for far too long. We got along just like old pals. In my youth, this game ate fist-fulls of my quarters with it's irresistible 3 level playing field ("Triple playfields mean triple fun"). I especially appreciated the haunting green color of the 'basement' playfield. Everyday I played this beauty was like Halloween! If I was stupid rich and could own my own pin, this would be it. If I could also afford a Victorian mansion like the one on the cabinet to house it in, even better.

Next up is another popular one, Creature From the Black Lagoon. This one came out right after The Addams Family, and I played it a fair amount, but could never get the hang of it. Really appreciated the theme, though. Excellent sound from the movie and a genuine hologram of The Creature really set this one apart (the film was originally released in 3-D, hence the hologram).

Attack from Mars came out a few years after Creature, and features a strobe (seizure warning!) plus cute little Martian figures and a whole fleet of flying saucers - that light up!

Bram Stoker's Dracula, based on the 1992 move staring Gary Oldman and Winona Rider, is here with it's multi-ball play and interesting gimmick of a magnet that drags a ball across the playfield. Always looked great with it's red color theme.

And we'll round things out with a couple of newer games, Stranger Things and The Walking Dead. Loved both shows, but never got into the pins. Haven't really played much since about the mid-90's, with a couple of exceptions. Both seemed nice enough, but by this point in my visit, I was getting rather fatigued. And unlike the older machines where I could rely upon muscle memory, I'd never played these before and was terrible at them.

I have never seen so many fine horror pins under one roof, and I haven't even mentioned the dozens of other pins lining both walls of this place, with dozens of video games between. A perfect nostalgia trip for anyone who ever haunted an arcade with a few newer machines tossed in to keep it interesting. The one pin I was surprised not to see was one of the Elvira machines. But I'm sure Elvira will turn up sooner or later to complete the creepy collection. Once she does, she can wish you "Unpleasant dreams," when they finally toss you out at closing time.

#pinball #horror pinball #replay amusement museum #tarpon springs #the addams family #haunted house #bram stoker's dracular #stranger things #the walking dead #creature from the black lagoon #darkly inclined #the twilight zone #attack from mars #arcade

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alice-angel12x · 3 years

Text

Cherry blossom marriage. Based on the ghost marriage event. Plus lowly tied to my fanfic on wattpad.

" Please marry me!" Epel said, " Darx I challenge you for the bride's hand,"

" Don't look at someone else. Please marry me!" Ace shouted, " Darx I will defeat you,"

"Please... choose me as your marriage partner," Riddle offered, " Darx I shall put a stop too you,"

" Your beauty, I want to be your servant of love forever," Rook smiled, " And I shall rescue you from this brute,"

-------

Far out at sea loomed a dark storm cloud that slowly made its way towards the island of Night Raven College. A figure sat on the back of a mighty griffin in the eye of the storm, it groaned, cried as it tried to thrash against reigns. The man growled as he sharply pulled on the reins.

"Quiet pet, I hear that there is a beautiful maiden at Night Raven College. And from what I've seen on the magical, she is quite the sight," The figure sighed, " Though I wished she had more of a presence, instead of uploaded photo's from this Cater guy."

-----------

"Master, can I come with you this time?" Inir asked excitedly, " I promise to be careful this time?"

"I have a feeling you to come for other reasons," Y/n sighed.

"N-no," Inir stuttered.

"You want another playdate with Ortho don't you?" Y/n smirked at her newer creation.

"No- yeah, but he's so fun to hang out with and I promise I'll be careful and try not to break myself like last time," Inir begged.

"Inir you broke yesterday from the game of tag, and I spent all night gluing you back together, and I had to reapply the marks that keep you together," Y/n yawned as she took a sip of coffee.

"PLEASE!?" Inir begged.

----------

"Morning Ace-san, "Inir greeted.

"Oh Inir, I see y/n put you back together, " Ace smiled.

"yep cause she's the best, " Inir smiled.

"Morning," Yawned a tired Y/n.

"Wow you look awful today, did you get any sleep?" Ace asked.

"No, and I didn't feel like arguing with Inir today. Have you seen Idia or Ortho? " Y/n sighed.

"Yeah, I think-"

"Inir!" Shouted a young voice, and a flash of white and blue.

"There he is?" Y/n yawned.

"Hi, Ortho, " Inir Smiled as she hugged to robot boy, " is Idia outside today?"

"No, just me, but I saw that you were in school so I came over to play some more," Ortho said with a cheery smile, " If that's okay with Y/n, "

"Just please be gentle, I don't think I can handle another all-nighter to fix Inir," Y/n said tiredly.

"Okay," they both said as they ran off.

------------

(Location- courtyard)

"Are you sure you're going to make it through the day?" Duece asked with a worried tone as he helped Y/n walk straight.

"I can't fall behind-behind on.. on the," Y/n nodded off.

"Prefect Y/n, what in the world happened to you," Said a very smooth voice.

"Oh no," Y/n groaned as she looked up to see Vil staring down at her.

"Y/n have you slept at all, you have bags under your eyes, and your skin looks all dried up," Vil said as he poked and prodded at her face.

"I had to put Inir back together, so no sleep," Y/n said simply.

"Oh no, you shouldn't push yourself. You'll ruin your health," Rook gasped at the sight of Y/n's tired face.

"Epel please Take Y/n back to her dorm to get proper rest," Vil said simply.

Epel nodded and Helped Y/n back to the ramshackle dorm to rest. The moment Y/n rested her head she was out like a light.

-----------

The night quickly came and Y/n found it hard to sleep knowing that her sleep was very thrown off, so she decided to take a night stroll around the school. As she made her way to the main route of the great 7. As she walked past the statues she noticed a familiar shut-in heading her way.

"Oh, good evening Mr. Idia," Y/n smiled as she curtsied slightly.

"Ahh! O-oh it's you Y/n. good evening, but what are you doing up so late?" Idia stuttered.

"My sleep is completely out of wack, so I'm just walking around. What are you up too, must be something important," Y/n wondered aloud.

"I've ordered my favorite manga's newest print... along with the spacial mini colored papers, but why is it not delivered by the release date!?" Iida ranted.

"M-Manga? Is this related to the anime thing you talk about?" Y/n asked.

"Manga is the book version of anime," Idia explained.

"Oh, well sorry to hear that, it must be a good piece of literature," Y/n frowned for Idia.

"It's a shame as an otaku to not get it on the first date. There's nobody around too, I'm going to the shop," Idia sighed.

But suddenly lightning flashed in the sky and a strong wind blew past Y/n and Idia.

"...ound you...," said a distant voice.

"Eh?" Idia and Y/n gasped.

"Just now... someone's voice?" Idia wondered.

" I finally... found you... My Bride!" Said a tall man with a black blindfold over his eyes.

"GYAA———!!!!!" Idia screamed while Y/n gasped in shock.

-------

"Grim, GRIM!" The fairy trio shouted.

Grimm gasped awake and quickly glared at the three.

"What?!" Grimm groaned.

"Y/n's missing! and the ghost has invaded!" Zephyr shouted as three ghosts appeared.

"Whoa!?" Grimm screamed.

" You dirty rats! What are you doing here!" One of the ghosts shouted, " This mansion is the Masters' reception hall. It's off-limits for outsiders!"

"Master?! Reception hall??. I don't get it, but it's my dorm. The outsiders are you guys!" Grimm growled.

"If you won't go out, you'll be in trouble," The ghosts glared, " Go out now or you'll be hurt!"

The Ghosts quickly tossed Grimm and the other creatures out of the dorm. Grimm growled as he ran over to the headmaster's office to report the incident.

"Your dorm got possessed by ghosts with white hats?" Crowley asked.

"That's right! They appeared and suddenly said that the dorm was theirs! They said something about a master too!" Grimm growled.

" Master... ah, I get it! There was nobody in that dorm last year so I let it be, but... It seems like he has come this year again," Crowley sighed.

"Again?" Vinca asked.

" The ones who chased you out was Darx's vassal" Crowley groaned.

"Darx? Who's that? I don't know if I'm supposed to be congratulating or scared," Grimm wondered.

" It seems like she was a princess of a country that was destroyed long ago. Darx is currently the world's most powerful wizard and a very narcissistic one too. He travels the world in search of a perfect partner to bear his children, wanting powerful children. He had many weddings, yet his brides always go missing after a month. Sometimes he rests at Ramshackle Dorm as appointed to be their basecamp. It's an honor for that place to be recognized by a powerful wizard," Crowley explained.

" It's not the time to brag! Chase those annoying ghosts away quickly!" Grimm growled.

" It's too annoying to chase them... ahem! Don't you think it's pitiful? Let's just leave them alone, plus I don't want to get on Darx's bad side for no good reason. besides no bride will be found here," Crowley laughed, " It only affects Ramshackle Dorm. And they'll go away after a few days. Stop those useless protests and just freeload on your friend's place for 2-3 days, wait where's Y/n?"

" Headmaster—!!!!!!!" Ortho and Inir cried.

"Oh, Ignihyde's Ortho Shroud-Kun and Inir of Ramshackle. What are you two in a hurry for?" Crowley

"It's a problem... my brother and Prefect Y/n were taken by a strange man!" Ortho cried.

"What?!" everyone gasped.

"Right Check out this security video," Ortho said as he projected a video.

"Hey! Please don't hack the school's security system!" Crowley scolded.

"shh, be quiet and watch the video!" Inir shushed.

-------

"So that man is," Grimm gulped.

"Yep, that man is Darx, and he found a bride!" Crowley gasped.

"And the Bride is Y/n!" Ora gasped in horror.

"Well she indeed a beautiful maiden and a powerful witch on top of that, fitting his criteria," Crowley mumbled.

"Yep, she is also kind and caring. Dame you Darx, what precise eyes you have!" Inir growled.

"Anyway, it seems like we have trouble, If she's chosen to be Darx bride, then that means," Crowley gasped.

Suddenly they were interrupted by all the commotion happening in the halls. They ran out to see what was going on, and to find the halls were overrun with ghosts and monsters. All the students ran out of the school to the track field, the only safe place for the student body.

"Isn't it Ace and Deuce, did you come to the sports field to evacuate too?" Riddle said simply.

"You guys got chased out too?" Deuce asked.

"Yep looks like Darx is up to something," Vil sighed in annoyance.

"Wait Grimm, Where is Y/n?" Azul asked.

"She's been taken by Darx!" Inir cried.

"What?!" everyone gasped in horror.

"It's true," Ortho said as he explained what had happened last night.

-------------

Pt.1

______

#riddle rosehearts #twisted wonderland x mc #twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland x reader #ghost marriage #idia x reader #azul ashengrotto #floyd leech #jade leech #twisted wonderland lilia #Grimm

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reddoll123 · 2 years

Note

Hi Red!

Sorry for the late response. So busy at work last week but hello!

Kpop artists always come to my state but more the city-city… mine is a big city too but I guess not as big. We did get SuperM to come but I wanted all of EXO to be here (inserts me whining lol and sounding entitled haha), not just two members haha but it was still nice that we were included.

Swing Kids was so good, minus the ending. I was sooooo extremely sad about the ending and wish that were some type of alternate ending, but of course, that would not be realistic lol The Along with the Gods was really good! I look forward to the next ones! I hear there’s 2 more and they’ll have him in it! I didn’t see Dokgo Rewind and I only saw half of Andante. When I heard it was going to have a sad ending(?), I stopped. I can’t do with sad dramas. I will be sad forever, which is why Swing Kids was a stab to the heart at the end 😭

Yay! I love fall/autumn season too! Birthday season!!! How fun! Any plans this year, since we can have semi-normal plans now?

What type of video games do you play?

I read your other post about your job, but wow! I’m glad you were still able to keep your original job but that was a whirlwind to read, so I can only imagine, how it felt with it happening.

Let’s see, maybe some questions on what you don’t like? So I know what to avoid? Is there any song or performances you don’t like it? Color schemes? Just trying to figure out what would be good to do for you :)

I hope you have a wonderful week!

Your EXO-L 🤶🏼

Hey again santa anon~ 👋🏾

Nah please don't apologize, just hope you're doing well! I've been busy with work too this week ('tis the season) so sorry this reply's a bit late. And lol, no whine away. I'd whine too if they were close like that but not!

And yeah like tho I love happy endings, if there was one for Swing Kids it'd obvs make me happy but also leave me a bit dissatisfied in a way cuz of how the setting and plot was set up. (Doesn't mean I didn't go straight to ao3 after to look for a happy alternate ending tho lol.) But the way they all died tho is still like fresh in my mind 😩😩. And yeah I heard the movies were really good! I'mma get to 'em one day or another hehe.

I def rec watching Dokgo Rewind tho, it was so fun! And yeah Andante does have a really sad part to it but also in that realistic way like when ya meet someone who leaves a big impact but at some point, you or they gotta part ways for whatever reason. I still def rec watching and finishing it tho, it was very well done imo.

And yeah so I took some time off for around that time and plan on hanging out with my best friend (still deciding on what to do besides go out and eat like we always do hehe) and most likely my fam too. Then, on my actual b-day (which is sadly on a Tuesday lol, the one after this one), I'm prob just gonna chill and eat some great food~

And as for the types of videogames I play, I'mma just name some that I constantly play and love lol: Overwatch, Sims 4, Yakuza Kiwami (already played 0 and am going in order), GTA V, recently finished Divinity: Original Sin 2 with my younger sis (we already played the 1st together too), Rayman Legends for 4 player couch co-op, Kingdom Hearts III, and have a few other games that I haven't played yet.

And oh you did? Yeahhh, it was definitely a whirlwind to experience for sure lol!

And hmm, can't really think of any performances I outright dislike...But as for songs? Uhh this is a throwback but their song Baby from the XOXO album andddd Heaven from the Ex'Act album lol. Besides that, nothing else I can think of 😅. And as for color schemes, I also like other colors besides blue even tho it's my fav, can be any color of the rainbow, black, white, brown, whatever really. And I dig vibrance but also pastels and love seeing melanin if that helps lmao.

Hope ya have a great rest of the day and week as well!

#anon #ask #reply #exolssecretsanta

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butterbuni · 3 years

Text

♥ Chapter 5 ~ Recommendation Entrance Exam P1 ♥

Previous Chapter

"You will have 30 minutes to prepare for your written exam, you may converse and study with one another but there will be no conversations during the test. You may start." Cementoss said leaving the stage. I couldn't stop smiling. I am actually here about to take the exam.

I couldn't help smiling like an idiot. I looked around the auditorium, there were so many more people than I expected. At least a 50 by the looks of it.

God this is nerve-racking. I reached into my backpack pulling out the study guide Star made for me. I have to remember to thank him till the end of time. I wonder how he is doing in his exam. Probably acing it like a pro. I hung my head down in defeat. Why is school so hard? I can ace almost anything else but for things like math or chemistry, my mind just stops working.

"Hello" I looked up towards the voice. It was a rather tall girl with beautiful black hair tied up into a ponytail. I gave her a small smile and said "Hello I'm L/N Y/N but please call me Y/N I'm not a fan of formalities" "I am Yaoyorozu Momo, I noticed you were looking quite upset. May I ask why?" She sounded genuinely concerned, she seems so nice. "I just don't feel prepared for this test I feel like I'm going to fail. I am more of a hands-on person rather than a thinker and it just ugghhh" I placed my head on my unopened study guide.

"Maybe I can help you study we still have 25 minutes before the test starts and I could use a study buddy for the time being." I perked my head up to her smiling face. Wow, she's pretty. My brain fart disappeared as I realized what she said. My head straightened a huge smile was plastered on my face "Really you would help me!" "shhhhhhhhhhhh!" A guy behind me who looked like a skeleton with hair. "Sorry I will be quieter" God this is so awkward where is Star when you need him.

"I would love for you to help me it would mean a lot. thank you." She sat down next to me and pulled out her own study guide it was much thicker than mine. She really came prepared. I decided to just scrap my study guide and we went over stuff in hers.

~Shoto's POV~

"Really you would help me!" I looked up from my book to see who was yelling at this time. It's that girl from earlier. She's so unprofessional I thought she would be with the other kids in the regular entrance exam. She obviously doesn't do well in school so why is she even here? I need to focus on this test. I looked back down at my guide. If I want to become a hero I need to pass.

~Back to Y/N~

She makes the work sound so easy way better than Star. If he meets her, I'm pretty sure he will try and challenge her to an intelligence match. I am so glad I met her before the test. Maybe we both get in and see each other in school.

There was a ring indicating that the study session was over. Cementoss came back to the stage as the whole auditorium got quiet. "Everyone please move so there are three seats separating you from other testers." "Good luck Y/N you worked hard so you will be able to pass," Momo said as she moved three seats away. I waved her goodbye and told her good luck as well.

Once everyone was situated, cement blocks rose in front of our tables with the test and a calculator. Cementoss continued to talk. "Once you hear the bell you will begin. You will have 2 hours to complete your exam. Once you are finished with your exam you will place it back on the cement and you may go to the break room. There you will receive a number and you may do any necessary preparations for your practical exam. Remember there will be absolutely no cheating. If you are caught cheating, you will be escorted out of school and you will never be able to retake the exam and you can say goodbye to ever being admitted to UA academy. Good luck." As he left the stage there was another bell indicating the test had begun. I picked up my pencil and opened the packet.

The net effect of photosynthesis, chemically, is reduction, leading to the formation of simple carbohydrates and accompanied by a release of oxygen. True or False.

Oh boy.

__________________

Finally, I'm done with the test. Momo already left. I wonder how she did. She most likely passed she's very smart. I picked up my bag and left the auditorium. There was a sign outside pointing towards the break room. I should probably change first. I did a quick turn and headed for the nearest bathroom. "Oof". Oh jeez. I looked up to face the back of a guy. He had crimson red and white hair split evenly down the center. He was on the taller side but other than that nothing special till he turned around and faced me. My mouth gaped open. He had beautiful different colored eyes and a huge scar over one of them, which was very odd.

"It's rude to stare." He scoffed down at me. I will just ignore that scoff since it was my fault. "Oh sorry, it was an acci..de..nt. You are Endeavor's son! I recognize that blue eye anywhere. My brother is practically obsessed with your family. Though that scar of yours isn't on pictures I've seen," I said in an attempt to break the ice.

He looked at me with absolute hatred in his eyes. Dang, I didn't know bumping into someone will automatically make me hated. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned his scar. "Excuse me I need to be going." I moved out of the way allowing him to pass. As he left, I shouted, "Sorry for bumping into you, it was purely an accident. There is no need to look at me like that!" and ran into the bathroom to change. Such a quiet guy very different from the stories Kean says about Endeavor. I opened my backpack and pulled out my workout clothes. I quickly put them on. It was just some high waisted leggings and a white crop top. Perfect for optimum power use. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my backpack. Hopefully, I'm not too late I still need some food in my system.

I got to the room where everyone else was and it was pretty full already. I looked around trying to find Momo so at least I will have somebody to talk to. "Ehehm." I looked around for the voice, but I didn't see anyone talking to me. "Down here, dearie." I looked down to see a small elderly woman. My smile grew so wide. "Recovery Girl! Oh, it's so nice to meet you. My mom talks about you all the time. I knew you were going to be at UA as a teacher, but I didn't think I would meet you today at the exam. Oh, this is so exciting. Can I have your autograph?" I gushed out in excitement. "One thing at a time dear. Here is your number it should always be visible at all times till you leave." "Yes ma'am," I said taking the number and putting it on my shirt.

"You must be M/N's daughter. You share the same energetic curious aura that she does. Plus, those ears are hard to forget." She chuckled light-heartedly. I sheepishly laughed. Oh, I wish she won't talk about my ears. "If it's an autograph you want here." She motioned me to come down to her level. I stooped down as she wrote her name on my number paper. "Thank you so much!" "Now now dearie you have a practical exam to get ready for and I have numbers to pass out. Good luck." I waved goodbye.

I walked over to the food table. It was decked out with so much food. My mouth watered as I looked at it all. I could eat everything here in five seconds if I wanted to. "Looks good doesn't it." I heard Momo behind me. "Oh yeah it looks good, even better than good, it looks scrump-dilly-isous." She giggled at my choice of words.

We picked out some food and went to sit down and eat while we wait for the others to finish testing. "So, what's your quirk Momo," I said in between bites. "My quirk is creation. I have the ability to create any non-living material/object from my exposed skin by transforming the molecular structure of my fat cells." "Your quirk is just like my best friend's; he is in the regular entrance exam. Although he doesn't use fat cells but rather imagery using his neocortex. Though he can only use the item for 10 minutes before it disappears. Do your items disappear too?" "No, they are permanent after I create them. So, what's your quirk." "From what I've figured out I can control the elements. Air, fire, earth, and water; the usual but I can lose energy using it a lot. Though there is sub stuff I'm trying to figure out. That is why I am here at UA. Hopefully, they can help me 'reach my full potential' as my brother says." I said with quotation marks.

"Wow, your quirk is so powerful! No wonder you're in recommendations," she said with excitement. I sheepishly laughed, "It's actually not that powerful really. When I first started, I could barely lift a pebble without passing out. My brother says that any quirk can be powerful it all depends on the person and how they use it. Your quirk is awesome you can create anything you want and it's forever. If you wanted you could make so many clothes and video games!" I gushed. "T-That's against the rules! If I make anything I want with my quirk then the circulation of money will be disrupted. As a citizen of this nation, I must increase the flow of money in the economy." she said in an attempt to defend her obvious spending habits.

~Shoto's POV~

'Sorry for bumping into you, it was purely an accident. There is no need to look at me like that!' How did I look at her? I looked up to see the odd girl conversing with another student. She's so odd and weird. How can she be so loud and obnoxious with no regard for other peoples' study time so early in the morning? Not to mention she's dumb and could have used the study time. How in the world did she make it into recommendations. I'll find out as soon as I pass this stupid test. I need to prepare.

"Students we will be taking a bus to the testing site form two lines and board in an orderly fashion!" some random guy yelled into the room.

It's time.

~Y/N POV~

Finally, the fun part is about to begin. "C'mon Momo we got this. Let's go."

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hokkaidossoul12 · 3 years

Text

So I recently got into the friday night funkin fandom and a idea came to mind, what if I draw Dorothy as a friday night funkin character. I had then idea of giving her a blue heart-shaped microphone with blue dungarees with sky blue fishnet shirt underneath. Oh, if you didn't know this about Dorothy yet, she is extremely nervous about singing in front of other people and if you can see closely her gem is a light purple color (meaning she is scared or nervous).

If I knew how to I would create a mod with Dorothy in it, and this would kinda be a plot/backstory to how she met certain characters. Dorothy would've been gifted the blue heart mic by Carol and Dorothy would occasionally go into a private area where she would practice and sing her heart out. But, someone had soon caught her and began recording her as she sung, not knowing that someone was recording her. The video was quickly posted online where it soon became viral. It was a few days after that people started noticing her and Dorothy was soon crowded by a large amount of people she didn't even know, complimenting her voice and trying to get her to sing for them. Dorothy began to feel confused and nervous as to why people were wanting her to sing, she asked why they wanted her to sing for them when one of them showed her the video of herself up online. She had fear in her eyes at realizing that everyone would know about her voice, she then made up an excuse that she had a sore throat and couldn't sing in order to get away from the crowd. This went on for days, weeks, months even, she would go outside where there'd be a crowd of people waiting for her, and each day she would try to avoid the crowd of people by hiding her appearance with a large coat. But, she couldn't hide her appearance forever as one day the blue heart microphone she had on her had fallen out of her pocket, someone had seen the mic fall from her pocket and they ended up approaching Dorothy to give it back her, as they did so they decided to pull her coat off her to reveal her appearance to everyone. Dorothy shook as people began to surround her, demanding her to sing for them. Eventually Dorothy couldn't take it anymore and she ran away, but the crowd began to chase her. Quickly she ran far from the crowd and into a hidden alleyway right out of sight, she then heard the crowd of people run right past where she was hiding and she backed away in fear, eventually the crowd went away from the area, Dorothy breathed heavily and she backed up into a wall and slid down gently, tears formed in her eyes. She put her hands to her face and cried into her hands, not being able to hold her tears back. But, what Dorothy didn't know was that someone was in the alley with her, they were a rather tall figure with flame orange eyes. They stared down at her, they had a somewhat grumpy expression on their face, it was as though they were trying to hide away to as to not get caught. They scowled, Dorothy was making too much noise, it was going to get them both caught, they quietly immerged from the shadows to reveal their appearance, they resemble the body of person with a dark teal blue hoodie but had a bomb for a head. He got close to her and stared down at her, "hey, keep it down, would ya? your gonna get us-" Dorothy gasped and uncovered her hands from her face, she screamed at seeing the tall figure practically towering over her. The bomb-headed person was quick to react, he covered Dorothy's mouth to muffle her scream and held her against him, he was knelt down now so he could hold Dorothy in place. The bomb wait for a few moment, he then looked at Dorothy, he saw the panicked look in her eyes as she stared at him in fear, "shh...I'm not gonna hurt you, so you can calm down now..." Dorothy's expression seemed to soften now and she slowly calmed down. It was then that the bomb-headed person released Dorothy, she pulled away from the him, she was still nervous. There was then an awkward silence between the two of them, the bomb then took a moment to look at Dorothy before speaking up, "wait...you look familiar...", Dorothy sighed and looked away, "yeah yeah, I know...the video of me is all over the internet", "well...yes, but...your one of Carol's friends, right?" Dorothy looked at the bomb. "How did you know?", the bomb-headed person then pointed to the mic in her pocket, "she told me about you and that you carry that mic around with you." Dorothy spoke softly, "yeah...she got it for me a while ago, she thought I would go out in the world and start a singing

career..." she looked down at the ground before sitting back down, "but...I'm too much of a coward, I can't even sing in front of people without freaking out..." the bomb's expression seemed to soften off like Dorothy's. He knew how she felt. They both fell silence again as they did moments ago, this time they stayed quiet for longer. Dorothy gave herself some time before she was the one to speak up, "so...Carol and you...are you two friends as well?", she saw the bomb blush a bright orange, "well, you could say were...more than that." Dorothy paused for a moment before raising her head, something seemed to click in her head "wait...so your that boyfriend she's been talking about? Whitty's the name, right?" the bomb's eyes widened before he turned his head to Dorothy. "wait...how did you-", "She's crazy about you, loves to talk about you a lot, and I mean a lot", the bomb blushes more at that, Dorothy giggles at his reaction, "it good now that I know who you are, the name's Dorothy" she gives the bomb a small smile. The bomb looks at her and he couldn't help but smile back, "it's nice to meet you too." And so from then on Dorothy and Whitty begun to hang out more, they found many things they could relate to. They both learned each other's personalities and boundaries in conversations, and because of Whitty Dorothy had a boost in confidence in her singing. But, there were many other times where Dorothy had to have some time to herself to roam around. And it was one of those days in particular where she met a certain blue-haired male. Dorothy had decided to wonder down a part of town that she'd never come across before and heard what sounded like live music nearby. Curiosity ended up getting the better of her as she began to follow the sound of the music which she found lead to nearest train station, the closer in she got the more she could here the music. Dorothy then saw a young female in small red high heels with a red dress and merlot red hair, there was also two young males, one with a white shirt and a red symbol who had blue hair with a red and blue cap and a mic in his hand, then there was the other male who wore a green shirt long-sleeved shirt with ginger hair with a mic in one hand and a gun in the other. The ginger male seemed to be rapping/singing while the blue haired male seemed to be singing, it was as if they were having a singing battle. Dorothy continued to watch them sing away with her occasionally humming along to them sing/rap. It was soon after that the battle seemed to be over, both males seemed to shake hands in the end, Dorothy smiled at this. The ginger haired male then left the area, jumping onto one of the moving trains from nearby, Dorothy was surprised by this but then shrugged it off. Once the train that the ginger haired male had gone on left, Dorothy decided to leave, having seen enough around the roam and ready to head back home. But, it was then that the blue-haired male had caught a glimpse of Dorothy as she left the station, his eyes widened, he pulled out his phone to check if it was really her, the blue-haired male recognized from the popular video of her singing online. Believe it or not, he always wanted to opportunity to sing with her ever since the video blew up, he wasn't going to waste this once in a life time opportunity now. He and the female quickly grabbed the speaker and quickly went to the direction Dorothy had gone in. Dorothy had began walking down the streets and across the crossing to get back home with the blue-haired male and red-haired female chasing up behind her. It was then that Dorothy had seen the park inside the town which lead to a convenient shortcut to her home and so she went through the park, as she did she felt the nice grass from the park on her feet, she sniffed the air as she enjoyed the smells around her, she enjoyed the smells so much that she began running through the grass as she felt how nice the wind was on her fur. As Dorothy ran through the grass she noticed that there was a big hill with what looked like a perfect view on the top

with trees and the sun hitting the hill nicely, she then began to run towards and up the hill til she reached the top of the hill to met by more wind blowing against her fur and a beautiful view of the town below, she then sat down on the hill as she saw the view. "wow..." Dorothy had a glimmer in her eyes at the view, she sighed. That was then quickly interrupted by hearing the sound of something hitting the ground behind her, "h-huh?" she turned her head to see the speakers from before then the blue-haired male come toward her. "Beep!" Dorothy backed away from the blue-haired male, putting out her hands in front of her in defense. "l-look...I'm not looking for any trouble, ok?" she had a nervous look on her face as the blue-haired male continued his approach, he then pulled out his microphone and switched it on, "wait...what are you doing?", Dorothy then saw him tap the mic to make sure it was working. The blue-haired male then looked back up at her, "I've been waiting for this for a long time, you have no idea, Dorothy!" she paused for a minute, she tried to figure out what he was talking about until she finally understood what he meant. "woah woah woah! hang on there, mister, I don't do this type of thing!" the male smiled, "sure you do, you are a viral sensation, I thought you sung for a living?", "n-not in front of people...I can't...I-I g-et too nervous." the female went to Dorothy, the red-haired female could see how nervous she was and so she pulled Dorothy toward the speakers, the red-haired female then stuck out her hand "give me your microphone." Dorothy hesitated for a moment before pulling out her blue heart mic and giving it the red-haired female, it was barely even ten seconds before she was about to connect her microphone to the speaker. "w-woah...", the red-haired female then gave her microphone back to Dorothy, Dorothy then saw the female then sit up on the speaker and pull out her phone, pulling up something on her phone before pressing something on her phone, it was then that a slow instrumental song came from the speakers. "how about I help you warm up? I promise it will be simple for you" Dorothy shook, "b-but I-", "it's ok, boyfriend was nervous the first time he tried to sing...but I slowly helped him through it, all you have to do follow the notes I sing." Dorothy then looked back at the blue-haired male, he gave her a thumbs up, "you'll do great, I know you will!", Dorothy paused before closing her eyes, letting out a sigh before turning back to the red-haired female, "alright, let's go then." The red-haired female then waited for the right beat, giving Dorothy a moment to ready herself. The red-haired female then sung a tune to the music, Dorothy then sing the same tune back, the red-haired female then smile, "that's how you do it!" the red-haired female then sung another tune to which Dorothy repeated it back again, the red-haired female continued to sing a tune while Dorothy repeated them back. Dorothy grew more and more confident from this and eventually she began to sing her own tune to the song that was playing, the red-haired female let Dorothy carry on by herself until the song was finished. Once Dorothy heard the song finish she realized that she had done it just herself, she sweated slight "o-oh...I seemed to have gotten carried away, s-sorry..." she rubbed the back of her head, but...the red-haired female clapped, "no no, that was great! how do you feel now?" Dorothy's nervous expression seemed to fade, "oh, well, I feel...I feel..." Dorothy's tail then began to wag, "really good! I don't feel as nervous as I was, thank you for that, miss." The red-haired female giggle, "it's no problem, and you can call me girlfriend", the blue-haired male then approached her again, "you were awesome, Dorothy!", Dorothy turned to the blue-haired male. "thank you, what is your name if you wouldn't mind telling me?", "my name's boyfriend, but most people call me Keith." Dorothy then smiled at both Keith and girlfriend, "it's great to me you both", Dorothy then faced Keith, "And you know what? I

think I'm ready for that singing battle now, Keith." Keith then saw Dorothy skillfully twirl the blue heart mic in her hand as if it were a pen, she then threw it up in the air and caught it in her other hand, Keith then smirked and got himself ready. "I knew you were gonna say that!" and so the battle began between Dorothy and boyfriend to see who would come on top. ((btw, I used the name Keith for boyfriend since some of the people online referred him to that name.))

#HokkaidosSoul12 #FridayNightFunkin #Whitty #Carol #Girlfriend #Boyfriend/Keith #Boyfriend #DorothyTheDog #backstory #FNF #Shy #Click on keep reading for the backstory #ModCharacters #au? idk

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binkysteebnpewter · 4 years

Text

Of Paper Planes & Teddy Bears

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem Reader

Words: 2100+

Summary: Wanda has loved you since you trained her when she joined the avengers. However she’s too afraid to confess all because she’s sure you’re dating the Diner guy.

I used a divider a few times, they’re by: @writeyourmindaway 💗

Warnings: TW:Dissociation, TW: Anxiety Implications, explicit (?) detailing, conspiracy thoughts (just to add flavor 🤷🏻‍♀️).

Taglist: @softpeachbarnes @thejournalman

There was so much that I could say about her. So much good, so much praise, so many compliments that'd sound like Shakespeare had possessed my body to write an entire play solely about how her eyes stared into my soul with just a simple fleeting glance she'd give as we passed each other in the hall. There was so much I could say about her to show someone how much I love her and what I love about her, but that would take too long— even though I knew I could talk about her until my lungs failed to take in air and my heart failed to beat.

What I would utter out was that her attitude was what got me up in the morning, other than the fact she always made breakfast for everyone even though she didn't have to— and her cooking is absolutely blissful if I'm honest. However her coffee is downright dreadful. She liked her coffee way too strong for me or anyone other than Tony and Bruce, who refused to drink theirs any other way now. I didn't see how she could drink it, especially not black with just ONE spoon of honey.

There were those days where sometimes she didn't want to cook and everyone would sometimes go to the nearby diner, and today was one of those days. She had dressed down pretty casual and comfy, but oh— she looked otherworldly in her comfort clothes, dressed to no ones expectations as she held her favorite teddy bear

Sam drove while everyone else talked, but her? She sat playing with a few small paper airplanes, making them fly with psychokinesis. Making one fly out of her course, she stops them all and looks to me. She smiles and one of them unfolds suddenly, refolding quickly. Smiling at the blossom flower, my eyes widen when I moved over and rested in my lap. She smiles to me once more and focuses on her airplanes again, leaving me a storm of emotions.

The time passes like it's racing as we all ordered, waited, receivers, and ate. Some of us were still eating, some were just talking and relaxing. It was peaceful and the diner was never busy enough to draw a crowd to us, thankfully.

"How you gonna be like 'she gotta blonde, she gotta be thick, she gotta be tan'?" She asks, standing up to a guy sitting near us as he dissed his own girlfriend.

"You ain't got the right to be picky. All you packing is a tic-tac.. what you gonna do breath mint?" She asks and he flusters.

"What you gon' do Listerine?" She asks, giving him a look full of utter sass and confidence.

Smiling as the guy flustered and began ignoring her, I nodded and gave her a thumbs up as she turned back around. She smiles to me and laughs a bit.

"Yo! You're here today!" I hear and she turns.

"Mattie! What's up?" She smiles, standing and giving the guy a hug.

Him.

The one I wish I was. The guy who gets to call her baby girl, the guy who gets to stay up and talk on the phone with her for hours, the guy who gets to hear her sleepy voice say those three words I so desperately want to hear and say back.

I love you.

Wanda had left my origami flower in the diner, right on the table with her plate. Did she not like it? Was it the wrong color? I purposefully kept my airplanes folded neatly in the colors black and red, the colors I knew she liked. Was I overthinking all the subtle things? Was I imagining them? It was possible, maybe I'm reading too far into things.

I walked silently across the street from the cemetery, a hat placed on my head and tipped low as I faced the ground. My fingers played with the fidget in my hand, the puzzle fidget I had solved too many times to count now. I was long overdue for a new one, there was no combination of moves someone could do to mess up the colors on my rainbow ball fidget toy to make sure I couldn't return each colored ball to its respective hole too quickly. Wind whipped around me and chilled my skin, my thin jacket doing nothing to keep me warm.

The pigeons, I swear, are staring at me as I walk. Following me, I know it, as I took turns and they stayed right nearby with me from the start of my journey. I was a long way from the compound, that I knew for sure. I'm convinced one day they'll begin recognizing individuals, or that maybe they're not even real— robots maybe. Do we ever see them sleep? Do the power lines charge them when they rest upon them? Do they video people and record conversations? Is this how the government truly finds wanted people?

A bus loops around and around, passing through the old streets. The neighborhoods of old tenement houses, public schools, coffee shops, and candy stores. Sidewalks lined with cart shops, their goods ranging from street food to newspapers and tourist spots. I haven't seen the bus stop once as it's passed by one time after another, yet there are always less and less people aboard it with each pass. Has it even stopped? Why come down this road so many times? Is it forever stuck in this route? Is it in limbo— wait, can objects be stuck in limbo?

dO UnITs hAVe a SoUL??

I pass a hot dog stand, the grilled hot dogs looked oddly like fingers to my eyes and I suppress a gag. Do they bleed when you bite into them? Is the juice metallic tasting? Is the texture— Let's stop there, yeah let's stop there.

I head to subway station to realize I had been in the Brooklyn-Queens area, my numb fingers aching as I swiped my subway card. I stand as far from people as I could, the suffocating feeling of the subway closing in. The scent of the train car was musty and pungent, like old sneakers in a gym locker and rotten food found in the home of a hoarder who'd dropped their food and never found it to pick up and throw away. My fingers pause in the motion of scrambling my fidget as I realize the conductor was making an announcement, I caught on too late. Asking the man nearby if he'd heard the announcement, I shuddered when he gave me a simple rat-like smile and said nothing with a shrug.

I guess I'll never know.

I feel as though someone is watching me and Natasha's words play through my head. 'If you feel like someone's watching you, it's because someone is.' Do I look for them? Do I make eye contact and sass them? No, don't. Really don't, never trust a man or even a women on the train this late at night— I have no clue why they're up, or why I'm up even. I had woke with a feeling of dread and left without a single thought about it, the compound had felt too stuffy and small— despite its size.

The compound was... a mystery to me. It was large and spacious yet at times it felt like it closed in on me, suffocating like a 5x5 room. It made me feel like SCP 096 in his airtight steel cube room, watched yet not seen.

I step off the train at a random stop, heading out back into the chilly night air to continue an aimless walk through a concrete jungle shaped like a maze of looming buildings that wait— wait for the perfect moment to swallow me whole like a fly in the air, gone like I had never even buzzed in someone's ear.

Walking off the sidewalk and into a parking lot, I glance around. The parking lot may seem empty but I don't trust it, there are cars here— I know there are. They just don't want me to see them yet. They like to hide, spook me when I'm not paying attention once more. The building seems to expend as I enter with my membership card in hand, I'm sure I'll never understand how everything fits inside this place— just like I'll never understand where all the shoppers in here come from, even so late.

Are they even people?

I don't know how long I've been in here before I begin to become hungry, taking notice of the samples being handed out. Don't trust it, never trust it— you don't know if that person is sick or has done something to the food. Buy something and make it yourself, or buy a packaged snack— some fruit even. I cannot find check out, and the lady I had passed only gave me an eerie smile when I asked how to get to check out.

What is up with people and not knowing the answers to questions tonight?

I sit motionless, vaguely aware i was on the floor in the kitchen. I was also vaguely aware it was some time past 4am, when I returned from my late name wander. However something is wrong, something is staring. I do not know what nor do I think I want to know, yeah... I don’t want to know— I never will want to know.

It feels as if I’m staring at the back of my own head, watching as blurs vibrate and buzz off me and disappear into the air. I was staring, but staring where? At what? What color is it? What shape does it take? Is it smooth or textured? Is it decorative or a utensil?

I want to reach and touch myself, reassure myself that I am, in fact, here— that I am tangible and existing. So I reach up to touch my forehead, but everything blues— freezes. It was like something had stopped me from proving I was tangible, but I didn’t know what stopped me. I can’t figure it out, I’m sure at this point I don’t want to figure it out.

Do not touch my own face, that is asking for trouble. Something has warned me not to do it, and blindly I will take the unseen things advice.

My mind feels cloudy? No, it feels foggy. Not quite... It feels as if someone has steamed it, the moisture leaking out my eyes— I am crying with a dull expression as I sit on the kitchen floor, barely aware I even exist. This skin isn’t even my own, who’s is it? Did I steal it? Did I win it? Did we swap? How do I give it back? It is uncomfortable and suffocating, irritating like a sunburn.

Who am I? Am I a spectator? Am I a player? Am I winning? What am I playing? What am I spectating? Are others here? Is this a competition? Where are the controls?

I’d like to take the controls now.

It was a very faint and ghostly feeling of a hand touching mine that made me obscurely aware my hand had never dropped from moving to touch my own face. How long ago was that? The world was a blur, scratchy and set in black and white like a very old VHS tape. I didn’t know how long it was of those ghostly hands rubbing my upper arms and occasionally wiping my face and eyes, but the feeling of those motions became more prominent— heavier and more tangible.

Eventually, my world came into color and the first thing I could see was red. Brown hair that was lazily held in a messy ponytail, skin adorned with a pair of red pajamas, green eyes that seemed so soft and worried as they met mine.

“You’re with me, miere?” She asks softly and I touch her hand that was cupping my cheek.

She is real.

She’s here, tangible, existing.

So I am real, tangling, existing— because she is talking to ME.

“Miere?”

“Please don’t leave me alone...”

“I am not going to leave, Miere. I am right here, don’t worry.. I am always right here.”

“I love you..”

“Miere?”

Meeting her green eyes, they seemed so bright but so cautious. Why? Squeezing her hand that had been holding mine, the corners of my lips tugged up a bit.

“I love you Wanda..”

“I... I love you too, Miere. I, I thought you were dating... Mattie?”

“Mattie..?” I mumble, confused.

Who is Mattie? Do I know a Mattie? Surely I do, she wouldn’t have mentioned a Mattie if I didn’t and— Oh, the diner Mattie.

“No, I’m not dating Mattie.. He was my friend from school.” I admit, his face now fresh in my head.

“Besides, I don’t like guys.”

“Are you... are you gay?”

“Of course I’m gay.”

#marvel #wanda maximoff x fem reader #wanda x fem reader #female reader insert #reader insert #avengers #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff one shot #tw: dissociation #tw: anxiety implications #Wanda Maximoff Fluff

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pbandjesse · 5 years

Text

My hair is continuing to not do anything I want it to be doing. I don't know if I want to get it cut and have it shorter like it was over the summer or do I want them growing it out. It's just an awkward length and it doesn't want to lay correctly and now that I have the heat on I feel like maybe it's getting drier to? I don't know.

It was a nice day off though. I'm glad that this new job is going to let me have my Mornings in general. I mean I'm still going to have some days where I'm at to BMI but I have the whole morning off tomorrow and I'm really excited about that.

I slept okay last night. I woke up this morning around 9 and went to the grocery store pretty quickly after I got up. I really just wanted to be Cosi all day. So I was just in that fleece and leggings and socks. Still a cute look. I got eggs and some other things. Picked up ice coffee for James since he would be coming right to my apartment after his shift. I went home and I made an egg sandwich and soon enough James was on his way over.

He got here and told me he actually forgot to bring a change of clothes. Silly. He should just start leaving at least one change of clothes here. But I had jammies for him at least and he could be warm in those. He went to take a shower and we went to lay down after that. Watch some videos. He fell asleep for a couple minutes. But as soon as the videos stop playing I was out. I slept for maybe an hour and a half. I feel bad that he didn't get a nap at all especially because he was going to work at the theater tonight. But he doesn't nap as easy as I do.

We got out a bed before 1 and went to the work on our pumpkins. I do not have very many knives. Which was a problem. And my little tiny pumpkins just would not carve. They were too hard for the knives to go through that I do have. So James carved his pumpkin and I helped him get the guts out. While I painted mine. I still think I'm going to go back and paint like a little bats or something on top of the colors I did. But I think they look very pretty.

After that we went in the kitchen and I made some stewed apples. He had taken the skin off for me. And I boiled them in apple cider. And then we used Grands rolls to make this kind of apple roll butter thing. It didn't come out as good as I was hoping but I still like it. I'm going to eat the rest of it over the week. I think next time I would rather use like a crescent roll or something lighter like drop biscuit rolls or something.

We hang out for a little bit longer. We're both on our phones and on the couch. It was just nice being together. But soon enough he had to go home and get ready for his shift. So he left after helping me bring up a keter from the basement. I briefly fell down the stairs. I was okay mostly just scared myself.

Soon after he left I got dressed enough to go outside. I wanted to get us hats that we can wear at constellation and on the steel side sites. Because they want us to wear either a dark blue or a black hat. I went down to the harbor and went to the Forever 21 because I know they have cheap ass there. I got a very cute hat that has little kitty ears and I got him just a thick knitted one. Mostly the kitty or one is probably not going to be appropriate. But I really really like it so I wanted it and I got it. It makes me happy. It was good to bike for a little bit. But I headed home pretty quickly after that.

I got to work some stuff for my first day tomorrow.I'm having the kids make portfolios to keep their art in. So because I don't think that there's much cardboard I can use at the school I took apart a bunch of boxes I have here. I only have enough to make 11 right now. And I'm going to have 20 students. Which is better than the 25 I thought I was going to have. So that's a silver lining. But I'm happy with the progress that I made and I even made a bunch of circles for buttons to close the portfolios. So tomorrow I just have to find some more cardboard basically. And James said he would look while he was at the theater tonight. That actually took me a really long time to cut them all out though. Over an hour. But that was also some of the figuring it out and once I had the size down it was really just sitting in cutting. But some of them I had to kind of Frankenstein together with tape and small pieces.

I'm excited to start teaching. Like I know I've already met some of the kids but I'm really excited to get to know all of them and learn their names cuz right now I don't know them all. And I know there's going to be some drama with a couple of the girls that apparently don't get along. But I think in general it's going to be really good. I really hope that they are on board and it goes well. I know having to change teachers can suck and I hope that they can feel positive about me and Fitsum.

I spent some time down there and just kind of working on stuff. I I had forgotten that you cannot have both of the space heaters on at the same time. Because I was downstairs and all of a sudden all the power went off. And had to go into the laundry room and find my breaker box. But at least I know that the small heater works well in my studio and the radiator type heater works well in the living room. They're both really took the chill out of the room and made it much more comfortable to be working. I hope going forward that between all of my curtains and everything I'm not uncomfortable like I was last year. I do have to figure out a window covering system. I don't want to do those plastic sheets again. I'm thinking a shower curtain would work better and still let light in while being thicker than the Saran Wrap I essentially used last year. We'll see. I'm going to go to the Dollar General sometime this week.

At like 7 I biked over to CVS to look for new Tupperware containers for lunches. Didn't have any luck there. So I went over to the Rite Aid. I had better luck but not exactly what I wanted. I got two containers. But I'm happy with them. I still think I'm going to go back to the CVS in the harbor and get the round ones that I saw that were a good price the other day. Something I really need to get as a new bike light. James says he's going to give me his back one but I don't think it works very well. But it feels very weird being out when it's dark out even though it was only 7 and I really just want to feel safe while I'm biking if I'm going to go out at all. For now I just stayed on the sidewalk.

I took a shower and got changed. I repacked my overnight bag have more stuff that I needed and was missing. I made outfits for the week. And fix my panda bag that I ripped the strap off by accident. And now I'm just laying in bed. James is supposed to come back tonight but I really think it's going to do depending on when the show gets out. Though I always like when he's here. I hope you guys all have a good night. Wish me luck tomorrow. I think it's going to go really well but it's the first time with some of these kids at all and that can be scary for everyone. Sleep well.

#ootd #day off #boy #pumpkin #halloween #sunday #good day

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curlybookowlblog-blog · 6 years

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I’ve seen some people tweet or post on Instagram that they cant find any books that deal with mental health or they cant find any that deal with this one specific illness like OCD or Anxiety. Mental Health is extremely important and books can help show you what others go through with an illness or you already have it and know you are not alone, that others suffer from this same illness.

These types of books represent people and the things they go through. I know the books with OCD and Social Anxiety mean the world to me. Representation is extremely important for anything, race, religion, mental health, etc. Everyone wants to find themselves represented in some way and I agree. Now I’m just rambling, so let’s dig in.

Book I’ve Read

Queens of Geek was my first book that dealt with a mental illness. One of the MCs has social anxiety and is on the autism spectrum. It was amazing to finally see myself in a book. I’m not gonna lie, I cried reading this book because forever I thought I was just the freak of nature that couldn’t even go into a store without panicking.

Optimists die first and Goodbye days both deal with guilt and anxiety around someone’s death. They both show how easy it is to blame yourself for something that was out of your control and you couldn’t have changed it.

The Color Project and They Both Die at The End deal with Anxiety. TBDATE deals with a heavier form of anxiety in my opinion than Color project does, but they both show how you can work things up in your head and make the world out to be something so horrible when in reality you can make it beautiful and an amazing place to be.

Turtles all the way down was my first OCD read and it was fucking accurate. The MC has a germ thing where she will wash her hands or eat soap three to four times. I’ve never read a book and went holy shit, that’s me. I don’t eat soap though, my mind attaches to the idea that somehow my home will burn down while I’m gone. I’ve gone back in 4 times on several occasions to make sure the stove is off or my straightener is unplugged. OCD books are my favorite now because they have shown me that I’m not alone, that there are others with this same illness. This book I believe is also own voices, the author suffers from OCD as well.

Before I read What I lost I had no idea what an eating disorder was or how it affected people. What I Lost shows the struggle of getting out of it and gaining control back. Emmmabooks talked about the book in her Video. She has been through this mental illness and can speak for the Rep.

Astonishing Color of after dealt with depression and Suicide. It showed how one day you could be happy and over the moon, then the next day you don’t even want to get out of bed. The book showed the trauma of the illness and the pain a persons loved ones go through just wanting to help that person. Astonishing shows how someone can get so depressed that they want to end there. It shows how hard it is for the family, trying to figure out why, what they could have done to prevent it. Astonishing is a book filled with pain and magic, but it shows just how bad depression can be and why it is important to get help with any illness.

Books I Haven’t Read

These I have not read yet, but I’ve heard great things about there rep. Now I haven’t read these so I’m just going to list the books and what reps they may contain.

Eliza and Her monsters deals with severe anxiety. Girl Against the Universe someone told me has anxiety rep. History is all you left me has OCD rep. Under rose tainted skies I believe deals with anxiety and OCD. Twelve steps to normal deals with deals with addiction. A tragic kind of wonderful has Bipolar rep. Finding Aubrey is about anxiety. Word on the bathroom walls deals with Schizophrenia. Sad Perfect is about an eating disorder. Four weeks, five people represent a number of mental illness from OCD to anxiety to eating disorders. How to disappear deals with Social Anxiety. Perfect deals with OCD.

See why these books are important. Just these I’ve posted about represent so many people in the world. You learn and grow from them even if you suffer from no mental illness. I hope your able to pick some of these titles up and enjoy them as I have.

What are your favorite mental health books?

Mental Health Book Recs I've seen some people tweet or post on Instagram that they cant find any books that deal with mental health or they cant find any that deal with this one specific illness like OCD or Anxiety.

#Blog #Blogger #Blogging #Book Blog #Book Blogger #Book Blogging #books #health #Lifestyle #Mental Health #Mental Health books #recommendations #reviews

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