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#i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))
silenthillbunni
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1 month
Text
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#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant
#nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it
#it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer
#ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know
#it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are
#but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom
#bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park
#i cant even go to cafΓ©es bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that
#i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none
#my sisters havent talked for me in over a year
#and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w
#nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao
#i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots
#i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol?????
#im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay
#and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like
#when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!!
#im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing?
#other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing?????
#and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things
#i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))
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