#i've been gone for a while because stuff keeps popping up :'D
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Founding Frat Father
"Whewww FUCK yeah bro! Feels good to be a part of Alpha Alpha Beta! I gotta go recruit some more brothers, then we can party all night at the house!!"
"Cody" hyped himself up in the mirror. He looked, sounded, and acted just like a typical American frat bro. It'd be hard to believe only an hour or two ago, Cody was actually a computer science nerd who absolutely hated fraternities...
***
Earlier that same day...
Cody couldn't help but pat himself on the back as he watched the last moving truck drive away from the frat house. He had been hard at work for the past year and a half getting rid of all the fraternities at his college. Some were easy to get rid of, others required Cody to join and dismantle the organization from the inside out. It took him a lot of time and energy, but now that the only remaining members of Alpha Alpha Beta had moved out, the last frat standing had no choice but to disband.
"Ha! Checkmate, losers, and don't let the door hit you on the way out!"
Cody walked around the now empty frat house with a newfound confidence in his step. As he looked around the barren walls and empty rooms, it hit him just how much he accomplished within the last year. He couldn't stand the frats. In his mind, all frat bros did was party, drink, work out, and fuck. Cody made it his mission to get rid of the frats. He had a goal, and he accomplished it.
As Cody picked up his suitcase, he felt that he could breathe a lot easier now that the all the frats were gone. No need to worry about some jock bullying the little nerds like him anymore. Life was looking up for him! Cody then began walking towards the front door, but as he approached the exit, the doors suddenly slammed shut in front of him.
Where the fuck do you think you're going?
Cody heard a deep voice and quickly stepped back. His eyes darted around the room but saw no one.
"Who are you? Show yourself!" Cody called out. He was met with an arrogant, hearty laugh.
I thought you were supposed to be some know-it-all genius! All that studying didn't mean shit in the end, huh? Why, you're only as smart as the rest of us!
Cody kept scanning the room while the voice belittled him. His eyes then landed on the center of the main living room, where the former Alpha Alpha Beta's insignia was still painted on the ground. The insignia was the fraternity's code of arms, and it had all the names of the founding fathers written on it like scripture. Cody was standing directly on it, and that was where he heard the voice the strongest.
"Oh, don't tell me. You're some fraternity bro spirit that's here to haunt me after what I did. Ooooo I'm soooo scared!!" Cody mocked the voice back. The voice went silent while Cody laughed. Only after he stopped did it resume.
The founding fathers had a vision of genuine, hardworking men that were bound by brotherhood. All you see is the fun stuff and you knock us down because of that. Sure, some brothers may go a little overboard, but we also install the values of philanthropy in these young men-
"Is this gonna keep going for a while?" Cody feigned a yawn. "I've got a bus to catch, so I can't stay for much longer."
You listen here, boy! Over my dead body are you just gonna leave after destroying what we've built up! You destroyed it, now you're gonna help us rebuild it!
"Ha! Yeah, totally, and who exactly are you supposed to be? Cuz I ain't helping you do shit!"
I am one of the original founding fathers Andrew D. Matthews, and you're about to be our new founding father!!
A man's head popped out of the ground. The sight of it made Cody scream in terror. The spirit then rose from the ground and made a beeline for Cody's gaping mouth. Cody fell to the floor as Andrew began forcing its way inside of him. He gagged as he felt his mouth and throat getting filled to the brim with the spirit. Andrew slithered its way down Cody, taking control of every cell in his body as it passed them by. Then with one final shlurp, Cody inhaled the tail of the spirit against his will. He kneeled over unconscious onto the ground.
Cody's scrawny body began to inflate now that it was taken over by the spirit. The liquidy spirit filled him up like water. Once Andrew got settled into its vessel, he began transforming the body. Suddenly, Cody's body began taking on muscle mass all over. He was once thin and frail, but now he was toned all over. His baby face disappeared as a thick black beard began growing in. Within minutes, Cody had become an exact replica of the spirit who possessed him.
"Fuck yeah! Feels so good to have real flesh again!!" Andrew said with his new host body. He had successfully possessed and transformed Cody to look like his old body back when he was alive. He rubbed his pecs and gave his growing cock a tug through his shorts. He ran his hand through his beard, and felt right at home as he felt his fingers getting caught in black curls.
Andrew caught a glimpse of himself in a nearby mirror, and proceeded to smirk and flex for the mirror. At the end of the day, he applauded Cody for all the hard work he put into disbanding all the fraternities. But unfortunately for Cody, as long the spirits of the founding fathers were still around, the fraternities were never gonna go away. And now that Cody was possessed by one of them, he had no choice but to sit back in his own subconscious and watch as his own body was forced to bring back the frats.
"Alright, time to get to work."
Andrew took a moment to focus his mind. He then proceeded to transform his fleshie vessel back into Cody's image, although with some body adjustments of course. Cody was no longer a skinny computer nerd, he was now a bonafide jockhead and a founding father for the next class of Alpha Alpha Beta.
"Cody" threw on a baseball cap, gave himself a wink in the mirror, then waltzed out the front door, ready to recruit more men into the fraternity. Alpha Alpha Beta would return to its former glory, no matter what.
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Imagine your OTP where Person A works in retail and Person B keeps coming into the shop and asks for help with the most ridiculous things. + if Person A loses it one day and confronts Person B about their motive feels like Willex to me, please and thank you.
Willie pressed himself up on his toes and down again, as if that would relieve the pressure of his uncomfortable dress shoes. He wished he could just wear his beat up kicks, but that wouldn't mesh well with the image Caleb wanted to convey with his store.
And since Willie worked there as a way to earn a bit of cash and avoid having to work at the club, he had to deal with the shoes. At least he didn't have to cut his hair and got to choose his shirt and tie.
The other bonus was that he had direct view of the nerd store across the hall in the mall where his jib at the suit store was.
Now Willie did appreciate the odd nerdy thing, but his main focus in that store was just under six foot, had golden blond hair, and an affinity for pink.
Willie had tried every way to talk to Alex in hopes that he would manifest the courage to ask him out.
The first time he had just gone over to introduce himself, welcome them to the mall, and ask if they wanted to hear the gossip about the other stores there. The next time was to ask if he could use their microwave in return for letting them use the private bathroom attached to his work.
But those interactions would only get him so far.
The next time he went over, holding up two ties, and asked Aled which one he should wear. Totally noticing on how his eyes were glued to the line of his throat and top of his chest exposed where he hadn't buttoned up his shirt. Points for him, and he loved how Alex stuttered through choosing the goldenrod coloured tie.
The next time he went over asking Alex for a good started Pokemon since he had just started playing the game. Unfortunately, Alex directed him towards Reggie for that since he was hopeless at video games, and Reggie could talk your ear off about anything. But it did get Willie interested in catching a Bidoof, if only because the name made him giggle.
After that it was a game of finding out exactly what Alex's area of interest and nerdiness lay. So every time they were working the same shift, Willie would come over and ask about something different.
"What class would you recommend for a beginning D&D player?"
"What's the conversion rate of sheep to wood in Catan?"
"What's the best version of Monopoly?"
"Do you guys have any idea how Magic the Gathering works?"
On and on, but every time, Alex would direct him to one of the other guys working though he did always smile and blush whenever he looked at Willie-and usually convinced him to add to his sock collection at least once a week, all while throwing his own employee discount on it for him.
Then one day, Willie moseyed into the store on his break, veering right towards Alex. "So did you get a cavalcade of Funko pops based on the new anime adaptation yet?"
Alex whirled around, glaring at him. "What is your deal?"
"What?"
"Every day, or almost, you come in here, and it's always something inane or weird or I dunno... do you get some sick joy of making fun of the nerds or something?" Alex exploded.
"No!" Willie exclaimed. "I'm a nerd! Or well, kind of one, given the love of cartoons from my childhood and obsessive sock buying."
"Then why do you keep coming over here and asking me about all this other stuff?" alex asked, shoulders still stiff as he looked at Willie.
"Because I like you dummy!" Willie said with a laugh. "I've been looking for any excuse to come talk to you in hopes you might engage in conversation with me and then maybe we could go out sometime."
"Oh... oh!" Alex replied. "I like you too!"
"Then how about we get an Orange Julius and you can tell what nerdy stuff you are into?" Willie asked, offering his arm.
"Through in a soft pretzel and it's a date," Alex replied, looping their arms together.
It turned out that Alex wasn't much of a nerd, but Reggie needed staff, Alex needed money, and he did like dancing games and Trivial Pursuit.
"Sounds like a fun idea for our next date," Willie said with a grin.
"Only if you're in the mood to get your butt whipped," Alex teased back.
"Oh it's like that is it?" Willie stated. "Challenge accepted."
Alex beamed, but then looked at his watch and scowled. "My break is almost up."
"Well then let me bring you back and on the way I can catch you up on the latest happenings with th jewellery store guys."
"Man, fuck those guys," Alex said as they walked back hand in hand to their hallway.
"I know right?"
From then on, Willie didn't have to find excuses to come talk to Alex any more. But he did come by with gossip, kisses, and a choice of tie. Because there was nothing better than making his boyfriend blush-even more than a discount on funky socks.
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Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Eight
A/N: Okay, firstly I cannot apologize enough for the delay. I'm sorry for not posting when I planned on, I have no idea how I feel about this chapter, it's all over the place and I've honestly thought of erasing it and starting back over but that'd take even longer and I don't want to make you guys wait any more. I'm sorry for falling through on my assurance I'd post by Friday.
Timeline in case anyone is wondering, this chapter starts around the 18th of September (flashback is last couple days in July) and ends at the end of September.
I hope you guys like it, perfectly understandable if y'all don't and I will be trying harder next time. Thank you🖤
P.S.--I haven't forgotten about the "D" Viv gets tattooed on her, it's being mentioned in the next chapter.
Words: 4.4K
Warning(s): Explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, insensitive implication of suicide.
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I'm taking another bite of eggs, before an issue of Playboy is plopped down in front of me, into my food.
I was expecting the cover to hit stands sooner, rather than later. We went back on tour the first of September, and the issue wasn't out until September 16, a couple days after getting back on tour from a separate break that took place a week and a half after our first break at the end of July did.
I'm on the cover, naked, and I hesitantly run my eyes up Doc's body to his eyes, giving an uneasy smile, knowing I'm in trouble.
I swallow my food and he glares at me.
Within ten minutes, he's got all of us back into another meeting.
"Playboy?!" He's pacing the floor, throwing his hands up. "Y-You…" he trails off, the vein popping out on his forehead.
I look around and notice everybody--Ross, Fred, Tommy, Vince, Mick, Rich--has got a copy of it, flipping through, including Nikki, and I feel my face heat up, slowly sliding down in my seat.
"...Playboy!" Doc gets out again, before he starts laughing.
"Was a staff meeting really necessary for this?" I ask him.
"I mean, it could be worse." Fred tries to take up for me as my question is ignored.
"Yeah, she could've went behind our backs and shot a porno." Vince adds, glancing at me. "...or did you do that, too?"
Apparently I don't deny that quick enough because Doc is looking at me with an even more severe look.
"Did you?!" He asks.
"No?!" I argue, starting to get pissed. "I posed for Playboy, what's the big deal?"
Doc starts laughing again.
"What's the big deal? What's the big deal? What's the bi--what's the big deal?!" He pulls at his hair. "I am about to have a heart attack. I am about to have a heart attack. You--" he lets out a loud yell of frustration and we all look at each other. "--Are you trying to kill me, Viv?! 'Cause I feel like you are!"
"From a photography perspective, they're quite beautiful photos." Ross says positively.
"Yes, I for one want to express my gratitude and admiration for Saint Viv's--well, Dirty Stripper Viv's--contribution to the livelihood of many a jerking offs." Vince states. "Also would like to note," he looks at a particular picture of me before adding, "I've only imagined her doing this position but now that it's here on paper, I'd like her to demonstrate--slowly, in detail--exactly how she twisted hersel--"
"--Dude, shut up!" Tommy snaps, his hands over his eyes, his head back, and Vince grins at me, making me roll my eyes.
It kind of scares me how quiet Nikki is as he calmly thumbs through his.
"Okay." Doc takes a deep breath. "When did this happen?" He asks me.
"I got an offer in the mail, and took them up on it, and when we were in Chicago I went by their studio." I explain. "I still don't know what the big deal is. I thought it was the idea for rockstars and Playboy models to be together."
Doc looks at me with flared nostrils before flipping through his magazine.
"Whose is this?" He asks, turning the magazine around to show me, his finger on Duff's bass.
I just look at him, not knowing what to say.
"I know what every bass of Nikki's looks like and it's got too many personalized ticks on it for it to be a random prop they tossed at you." He adds.
The room is quiet for a moment.
"It's Duff's." Nikki says and Doc raises his brows.
"The fuck is that?" He questions me.
"Guns N' Roses bassist." Nikki informs him, his tone neutral.
I'm afraid to look at him, knowing it's gonna break my heart.
"The band that you've been in my ear about bringing on the tour?"
Nikki let's out a confirming sigh and Doc looks at me.
"So this kid's gonna bring this bass to play on tour, and everybody's gonna recognize it when they flip through your little stunt here," he waves the magazine, "and it's all gonna come together and they're gonna realize a few days after Vanity allegedly dropped a bombshell about her and Nikki supposedly having an affair--which is said to be bullshit--his wife comes out humping another man's fuckin' bass." He tells me and I roll my eyes. "You roll your eyes all you want. Vanity fucking fried all of us, and then you decided to toss us into the fucking fire. Not that I expect anything different from a goddamn Sixx at this point. You both know how to make shit worse than it already is."
"I highly doubt they'll notice, Doc." Tommy cuts in again.
"You stay out of this." Doc snaps at him.
Another beat of silence goes by.
"Nikki? Your thoughts? You're her fucking husband. You helped kickstart this snowball of shit that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. What's your fucking opinion on her doing this? Am I gonna have to worry about you bending another girl over on stage and going to town in retaliation or what?" Doc sarcastically throws out there. "I mean nothing will fucking surprise my anymore. I just need to know what I need to prepare to clean up next."
My heart pounds as I look at Nikki, liner smudged, tired eyes, glancing at me as he lets out a defeated sigh.
"She's a grown woman, Doc." He surprisingly says and I widen my eyes in shock, as everyone else looks worried that Nikki's not screaming at me for it right now.
Not yet, at least.
"That's it?" Doc asks him, raising his brows. "She didn't say a word about it, didn't give a warning, a heads up, nothing, and she comes out like this and you have absolutely nothing to fucking say?"
Nikki just shrugs.
"She just does whatever the hell she wants to do. Doesn't matter how I'd feel before, why does it matter what I feel like, now? Like I said, she's grown. Whatever she wants to do, she can do." He finishes, standing up to leave.
"Nikki, are you fucking me right now?!" Doc complains as Nikki heads to the door. "You flip your shit over tiny stuff but your own wife does this without even telling you about it and you just brush it off?!"
"Just because she calls me 'daddy' doesn't mean I can act like her fucking father, Doc." Nikki sternly says and my face heats up. "We're not even together so why the fuck would I care what she does or who she does it with?"
His bark was "I don't give a fuck" and "she can do whatever she wants", but a couple months later his bite was "you aren't worth a fucking thing which is why you had to get naked in a magazine to get validation in the first place" then proceeded to bare his teeth down further into my heart by adding, "just another pussy to unload in and get on to the next attention-humping slut."
The next thing I knew, Duff was knocking him to the ground and the two of them started ripping into each other like dogs.
Once the meeting is over, after another hour of going back and forth, feeling like I was going to vomit from impending guilt, I'm getting back to my room and making a beeline for the toilet.
I take a deep breath once I'm done, wiping the few tears from my cheeks.
I don't feel bad for posing…the entire meeting it took everything not to confess that me posing naked with Duff's bass should be the least of their worries, compared to what other activities I've gotten up to with him the last time the band had a couple days off and we went back to L.A.
The sound of my room phone ringing pulls me out of my head
“Hello?” I answer.
“H-Hey.” I hear Tansy’s voice on the other end and I perk up.
“Hey, Tans, how’re you feeling?” I ask her, nervously.
“Good, um…” She lets out a soft sigh. “...I relapsed.”
I close my eyes for a moment, exactly like I did last week, and the week before, and the week before, and so on.
After Sparkie did his damage, Tansy promised to swear the bastard off. But within two weeks of her incident, she was back with him, only because her babysitters--Slash and Steven--left her unattended and she ran off to find him.
They’d find her, threaten Sparkler, bring her back home and the second they turned around long enough, she was gone again.
Nikki had ordered them that she wasn't supposed to be around Sparkie because he had "accidentally" taken it too far while they were messing around…
Skylar squeals as tickle at her stomach, shampoo sticking her blonde hair straight up while Sharise runs a wash cloth over Sky's back.
When she's done, she's wringing the water out of it.
"Sky, we gotta wash the shampoo out of your hair." I tell her.
"Nuh." She protests, shaking her head.
"Skylar, we gotta get the shampoo out so we can get conditioner in your hair and get the tangles out."
"Nuh." She states, looking at us like we're crazy.
"Don't be a diva like daddy." Sharise tell her, raising her brows.
"Da-da?"
"Da-da's golfing." She replies.
Skylar looks between us.
"Nuh." She argues. "Beebee." She points at me.
Sharise looks at me and hands me the little plastic cup she uses to rinse Sky's hair.
"I'm gonna grab a towel from the couch." Sharise tells me. "Let Veevee rinse your hair."
Skylar's cooperative, letting me get the shampoo from her hair and letting me put conditioner in and rinsing it out.
When we're done, Sharise is picking Skylar up from the bath and wrapping her in her towel.
The phone starts ringing and I dry hands off and stand up.
"I'll get it." I assure Sharise.
"Alright, it could be Vince. He said he'd call before he headed home."
"Okay."
I go to the living room and pick the phone up.
"Hello?"
"I'm coming by to pick you up." It's Nikki, and I furrow my brows and look at the time.
"What're you doing up before two o'clock?"
"I got a call from a hospital in Malibu. Tansy's in surgery right now."
My blood runs cold and I can't get my thoughts together.
"Just be ready when I get there." He adds. "I'm leaving the house, now."
"O-Okay."
He hangs up and I head to Skylar's room where Sharise is helping her pick out some clothes.
"That was Nikki." I inform her and she looks at me. "Tansy's at the hospital in the middle of a surgery."
"Oh my God, is she okay?"
"I don't know."
"Is she having more heart problems or--"
"--I have no idea, Sharise. Nikki didn't explain."
Despite her body being pumped full of varying drugs, none of them caused her to be sent to the ER. Something else entirely, did though.
"She's more susceptible to complications during surgery due to her previous heart problems and her drug use. She did decide to sign a DNR--"
"--I'm sorry, what's been signed?" Nikki raises his brows at the nurse.
"A do-not resuscitate order. Meaning if she were to code, we can not perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation."
"So you just fucking let her die?!"
"Nikki, they had to explain to her what it meant, and she still agreed--" I'm cut short.
“--You know how much fucking heroin she fucking shoots on a daily basis?! I'm not even sure she could fucking see to sign her God damn in the first place, let alone comprehend you motherfuckers selling her death!" Nikki barks and the nurse sighs.
“Nikki, she’ll be fine.” I try to tell him.
"Fuck that!" He screams, fear in his eyes.
"Nikki, that's only if something goes wrong, alright? So far everything is going okay." I try to reassure him, my eyes drifting to her nurse. "Right?"
The surgery itself was going smoothly. One thing Tansy didn't tell us, however, was one of her kidneys was shot from her drug and alcohol abuse, and she asked her doctor to go ahead and take the thing out.
"She's in good hands." Is all the nurse says, before adding, "she should be out in a couple more hours."
She walks away and Nikki shakes his head and lets out a heavy breath.
"It'll be okay." I say to him.
“You gonna fucking pray about it or something?” He sneers at me.
“Yes.”
“Right, imaginary friends solve all of the world’s problems.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me doing something that brings me some peace.” I argue.
“You’ve been praying for me for the past six years. Feel any fucking peace, yet?” He snaps.
Believe it or not, no. I hadn’t felt any fucking peace.
It doesn’t take Tansy much longer to get out of surgery, and Nikki and I are horrified when her doctor explains what exactly he was repairing, being that the nurse wouldn’t tell us.
“Like...a shooter sized bottle--”
“--Pint.” He says to us and Nikki and I look at eachother.
“They tried to fit a pint sized bottle of Jack into her…?” I trail off.
“Well, they made it fit, it just didn’t stay intact.” He replies.
“The bottle of her vagina?” I question.
“I had to stitch up her vaginal wall extensively, and made sure to remove every piece of glass, including micrograins. Her left fallopian tube would have been compromised if the piece of glass that completely punctured through her vaginal wall, would have moved 0.004mm, which is about the thickness of a single strand of hair.” He states. “She’s very lucky her uterus or ovaries weren’t compromised. That wouldn’t have been as easy of a fix.”
“A--A bottle?” I’m stll stuck on them fitting a fucking bottle into her, my face twisted in horror as my stomach drops and my skin crawls.
He holds up a small container and rattles it around, the sound of glass swishing around making me cringe.
“Jesus fucking christ.” Nikki lets out.
“I’m going to tell her when she wakes, but please reiterate after me, that the next time she and her partner wish to add some heat to their sex life, maybe try not to be so blatantly reckless.” He suggests and Nikki and I nod, still speechless.
In a couple more hours, Nikki and I’s ears perk when she groans a little, our eyes shifting to look at her in her hospital bed.
Her bright blue eyes blink open, her brows furrowed in confusion, and it seems everything slowly falls into place for her.
“Tans?” Nikki says and she looks straight at him, just blinking.
“Where’s Sparkie?” She asks and we look at each other.
“We haven’t seen him.” I explain.
“Oh.” She quietly mumbles, closing her eyes again for a moment.
“Tansy, what the hell happened?” Nikki starts, a sharp tone in his voice.
She looks at me, carefully, before speaking.
“We were just trying to spice things up.” She says softly.
“With a fucking Jack Daniel’s bottle that clearly wouldn’t naturally fit inside of you?” He lets out.
She doesn’t say a word back, I almost think she doesn’t hear him, until she says:
“I’m not fighting right now.”
“Let’s just let her rest, okay?” I suggest. “She’s exhausted and she doesn’t need to be stressed out right now.”
Nikki sighs, but keeps his mouth shut.
After a few more minutes, I’m wanting a snack.
“You have any cash?”
He looks at me and I give him my best smile, making him exhale softly, digging in his back pocket for his wallet.
“How much?” He asks, clearing his throat.
“Like, a couple bucks.” I shrug and he hands it to me. “Thank you.”
I go to the vending machines past the waiting area, to see Sparkie sitting by the window, eating his food, and I glare at him as I walk by.
He doesn’t see me, unfortunately, and I just keep going to the Pepsi Cola machine calling my name.
I want to go curse him out, but Tansy doesn’t need the stress, and being they were both high as a kite, I can’t solely put the blame on him and only him.
She should have just left him years ago. All he’s been is trouble that she doesn’t need.
I get my Pepsi and a pack of M&Ms, walking around a little to stretch my legs since I’ve been sitting for hours.
I let out a heavy breath when I remember I’m nearly out of Nardil, being I flushed a majority of my bottle down the toilet in an angry effort.
I’ll make sure to call in some more before we leave for the next leg of the tour.
As I start on my way back to the room, I’m interrupted by the sight of Nikki and Sparkie standing face to face in the waiting room, and I drop my Pepsi and food when Nikki slams Sparkie’s head into the wall without a single word beforehand.
“Sir!” The receptionist yells, standing up as I go to them as fast as I can to get Nikki off of him as he grabs his shirt and punches the shitfire out of Sparkie, one of his teeth crumbling to the floor.
“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” He promises as he punches him two more times, not taking a breath in between with no signs of stopping his assault until Sparkie’s brain is bursting from his skull, but I’m managing to get Nikki off of him, making him drop Sparkie to the floor, his nose and mouth busted up as security comes in.
We were escorted out, and when we got home I called Steven and informed him what happened to Tansy, leaving out what actually happened because I didn’t need anyone else possibly being sued for trying to kill Sparkie, and he went to keep an eye on her.
“Anyone else you want to beat the shit out of while we’re home?” I snap as we get to the car. “First Vanity, now Sparkie--”
"--What, you wanna go back in there and coddle him the way you did Vanity?" He hisses and I roll my jaw.
"You know exactly why I 'coddled' her."
"Oh, right, because men aren't suppose to hit women so I'm an evil bastard for knocking the shit out of her even though she was punching and hitting at me."
"I've punched and hit at you and you've never--"
"--She came into our house, attacked me, and punched you, too, Vivian! I had a reason to bust her face up a little bit!"
"I can handle shit myself, Nikki, there was no need for you to hit her like that!"
"It's called 'equal rights'! All you women want is to be seen equally and shit! You fucking punch me like you're a man, I'm gonna fucking punch you back, like you're a fucking man! Don't hit me like you've got bigger balls than I do and then scream and cry and whine and plead 'frail, innocent, victimized, dainty, woman' when you get treated equally!"
"I don't do that!"
"No, but you sure as hell were all about feeding the cracked out beast when she fucking did!"
"That's it. I'm walking home."
"Walking home? We're forty minutes away from L.A., Viv."
"I'll hitch a ride! I'd rather be in a car with a sketchy stranger than be trapped with you for the next hour!"
"You've been trapped with me the past four years!" He barks.
"Not for much longer, thank God!" I bite out and his face slowly falls. "I didn't mean it like that."
"Pretty sure going our separate ways is just inevitable for us at this point, Viv, so it's fine." He brushes it off and my heart hurts at the thought. "And I'm sorry for going after Sparkie in public. But I'm not apologizing for defending Tansy. I'm not ever gonna be sorry for defending any of my friends."
“What happened, Nikki?” I ask him. “What the hell made you go after him like that? You were fine when I left.”
He lets out a breath, his nostrils flaring, his knuckles gripping tightly to the wheel as he closes his eyes and forces himself to calm down, before saying:
“Nothing. I just really thought about it and it got to me.”
I didn’t find out what happened until Tansy told me months down the road, and nobody else knows that’s actually what happened.
If Stevie and Slash knew what really occurred to put Tansy in that shape to begin with, they would’ve killed Sparkie the second Tansy first went back and "relapsed" on him.
"Tansy, he hurt you." I remind her. "And I know it was an accident but it doesn't matter. He could've seriously messed you up more than he did."
"I know, but I love him, Viv." She argues.
"Tansy--"
"--Nikki shot you. And you're still with him."
"Because Nikki was high out of his mind and didn't realize he actually was shooting at me. He thought I was someone after him."
"Sparkie was fucked up and didn't know he was hurting me."
"Who the hell shoves a pint-sized glass bottle up their cunt to begin with, Tansy?" I raise my voice, getting aggravated with her.
"I'm gonna go." She tells me, calmly, after a moment of being quiet. "And I saw your Playboy issue--Steven got it. You look very beautiful." She genuinely says and I let out a defeated breath.
"Thanks."
"I'll talk to you later, Viv, okay?"
"Got it."
"I love you, bye."
"I love you, too, bye-bye."
I hang up and fall back on the bed, groaning loudly in frustration.
"How the hell can someone be as passively suicidal as she is?" I let out.
I'd find out soon enough.
In the last ten days of September, "Girls, Girls, Girls" is certified double-platinum, a $5000 lawsuit is filed against the band after a mother had apparently suffered "severe hearing dysfunction and mental anguish" at a recent concert.
I wish I could sew these bastards for hearing dysfunction and mental anguish because God himself sure as shit knows I've had my fair share of it due to them, too.
By the end of the month, Nikki has Doc convinced to bring Guns N Roses on tour for the south leg, starting at the end of October…and I don't know how to feel about it.
"Are you not excited about it?" Fred asks me after Doc leaves his hotel room after coming in to tell me the news. "Thought they were your buddies." He adds and I look at him from where I'm eating a fry from the fast food bag that he'd gone and got for us.
"They are." I confirm, nodding. "I'm excited."
"...You just acted like Doc told you we were going to a funeral." He chuckles, sipping his drink and I lick my lips a little.
"No, it's great, I'm just a little stressed out." I shrug. "But I'm fine."
"Viv, what's going on?" He's not buying it and Iet out a soft breath, nervously picking the skin from the instead of my cheek with my teeth.
"There's just a slight complication." I tell him and he raises his brows.
"I'm all ears." He offers and I exhale, shaking my head a little, before opting for a way to confess my sins to him without him knowing I'm the one that needs forgiveness.
"Well, you know how Sparkie and Tansy have been together for a long time?"
"Yeah." He nods.
"She's really good friends with Axl, too, and her and Sparkie have been having some problems and might even break up so Tansy's been anxious and panicking a little, and, well…" I think for a moment. "...over this past break, Tansy slept with Axl." I say and his brows raise. "Who's the singer for Guns, and they've kinda been having a weird relationship situation thing happening ever since, but she's still with Sparkie, and being that she and Sparkie are along for the tour, Axl's gonna be around and she doesn't want Sparkie to find out what's been happening."
"Why won't Tansy just break things off with Sparkie?"
"She doesn't want to hurt him."
"He's a piece of shit to her, are you kidding me? I'd tell that motherfucker he could go blow his fucking brains out over it." He scoffs, chewing his burger and I feel my heart sink, apparently he reads the look on my face. "Sorry, I forget women are wired a different way than guys are." He apologizes, swallowing his food before saying:
"Does Axl make her happier, you think?"
"Sparkie's just exhausting her at this point. I think she really loves him, she's just tired of fighting and she hasn't had any peace in years, you know? She's just really tired. But when she's with Axl, she feels like everything isn't falling apart. She's at peace."
"I think she's gotta tell Sparkie they just aren't working anymore. And be honest about how she feels instead of trying to brush over it and find ways to escape from it. I've seen her do some questionable shit, and I know it's because she's in pain and just doesn't want to deal with what's hurting her. I think this fling she's got with this dude is another way of crying for a way out, but she feels like she's too trapped to actually leave Sparkie." He explains.
I nod slowly, tearing up a little.
"I'm just worried about it, is all."
"Don't be." He shakes his head. "Just tell her what I just told you, and maybe she'll be done with Sparkie before Guns comes on a month from now."
I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment.
"I doubt it." I say so quietly he doesn't even hear it.
I felt like I'd gotten a little bit of my guilt off my chest--aside from the fact that I was leaving out a minor detail:
"Sparkie" = Nikki, "Tansy" = Vivian, and, "Axl" = Duff.
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Weird question, but you seem really productive despite seeming to have a constantly fluctuating routine, with both your work and your hobbies. Most people think having a solid routine is the only way to increase your productivity but I've pretty much given up on having a routine since my life seems similar to yours--a lot of travel, weird and always changing work hours. Do you have any advice on how you deal with routine and productivity in spite of that?
Oh gosh, this is definitely something I struggle with a LOT, and I’m not sure I’ve found a coping strategy that works for me yet. But the small things that have been helping have been (1) keeping a routine in my planning even if the stuff I do changes dramatically (even if I’m traveling, I have a notebook where, every Sunday, I list all the stuff that has specific dates/times for the following week, I list the stuff where I still have to come up with a date/time, and I list the stuff I’ve gotta do that week for sure), and (2) finding multiple ways to approach the same goals that I can tailor to my level of energy/spare time on any given week (so this week I’m just not in a super exercisey mindset and can’t rely on having the motivation to run every day, but instead I’m making an extra effort not to eat out this week—lower-effort for my current state of mind, but all toward the same goal of feeling a bit healthier overall).
I’m also very cognizant of how little time at work is actually spent working, so I try not to feel guilty if the total number of hours worked is low as long as the work’s getting done. I’m an incredibly routine-oriented person, but it’s been a bit freeing to slowly and steadily teach myself that stuff just has to get finished one way or another, and the easiest way to do that is to just focus on specific goals and let the rest be flexible.
Anyway, yesterday I was thinking of this ask and was like, “You know, I’ll just write up what I do on Monday as an example, and I bet things will go hilariously awry.” And so they did.
So here’s what my weekly planning list looked like last night:
Dated Events:
Call with paper coauthor at 9AM Monday
Call with leadership academy planning committee at 10AM Monday
Call with peer mentoring group at 9AM Tuesday
Sit in on class at 11:30AM Tuesday and Thursday
Seminars Wednesday at 3PM, Thursday at 4PM, and Friday at 3PM
D&D Saturday at 6PM
Undated Events:
Coordinating abstract submission for an upcoming conference (early week)
Setting up Skype calls with a couple friends I haven’t talked to in a while (late week)
Assorted Priorities:
Book hotel for work travel in July
Accept journal article review request and scope out how long that’ll take
Review some materials sent out for my peer mentoring call
Revise my paper and submit the revisions before the Monday deadline
Get my driver’s license renewed (the joys of yearly visa renewal… your license has to be renewed yearly as well)
Put together a schedule for a biweekly Twitter feature highlighting new publications for the account I run for a subcommittee in my field
Respond to an e-mail about a conference in January about some weird deadline that popped up for next week
Come up with conference abstract ideas before the as-yet-unscheduled meeting
Fill out some action items in advance of my 10AM Monday call
And some more specific checklists for four research projects I’m focusing on this week
I purposely try to group conference calls together, because I currently share my office and feel weird doing video calls when she’s stuck in frame five feet away from me while she tries to work. So Monday seems like a good day to work from home, and I can squeeze in Tuesday’s call before heading to the office that morning. I’ll be in the office Tuesday-Friday, which means I’ll be able to attend those seminars and classes with no problem. I have most of my D&D prep done already because we ended early last game, so I can leave that until Saturday. The only thing I might have to shuffle to next week is the driver’s license thing, because it’ll take three hours and I have to account for finding a Lyft there and back. Okay. Aces.
Wake up this morning to find my internet’s out, and I also somehow left the hard drive with all my research on it at work. Hoo boy. But staring over my to-do list, I think I can set today up as a “big picture” day and not have to do any actual coding, so I’m still okay to work from home. I can also phone in to the conference calls instead of using the video call software. All good.
Luckily, the internet comes back right before my first call of the day. Said call is with someone who also happens to be a dean, so she has a tendency to get held up at meetings, so I take that delay to look at the action items for my second call (I mean… if you send me action items at 8PM on a Sunday I am not gonna touch them until Monday morning).
When she did make it online, we chatted about the new paper, and she strongly encouraged me to send it to our other coauthors in case they have suggestions. We’re submitting on Monday, which is way too short-notice to read a 20-page research paper, but they already read the pre-revision version in great detail, so I shot them an e-mail that included a summary of the substantial changes and a note to the effect that if any of them want more time to look at this stuff, I can beg the editor for an extension on their behalf. Minor crisis averted.
Second meeting is very intense and structured. Everyone has to volunteer to organize and lead two webinars in the next three months, so I go ahead and volunteer for the two April ones so I’ll get it out of the way early. Aaand the first webinar is at 1PM this Friday. Okay. I’ll work from home that morning so I can do last-minute prep, then head into the office in time for the 3PM seminar. No biggie. One organizer puts together a draft schedule, and I send a quick e-mail suggesting a different use of one of the ten-minute time slots. One of the other organizers requests another conference call tomorrow instead of e-mails. I tell them I can only do after 4PM, if I leave work early. Eh. We’ll see how that works out.
After the call, I get through a bunch of small tasks in maybe 20 minutes: hotel booked, Twitter posts prepped, review request accepted (not due until May 20, so plenty of time on that), conference deadline e-mail chain started. I spend the rest of the time before noon getting sucked into an article someone sent me about the myths surrounding undergraduate grade inflation and then reading up on the peer mentoring materials for our call tomorrow. A couple other minor e-mails pop up (scheduling the precise date of a conference mixer in January, that kind of thing) and I manage to deal with them right away.
Lunch! Clearly working from home means I should take the opportunity to indulge in some fine cuisine, some leisurely cooking that highlights—
I heat up a microwave meal (chicken couscous) and watch YouTube videos for an hour.
Back in it! I write up some abstract submission ideas and make a valiant attempt at setting up a time to talk about them, but it looks like that might have to wait until next week. We’re still a ways before the deadline, so that’s okay.
Mmmmmmm someone on Twitter mentions a conference in Germany in September and a workshop in Colorado in July that both look like a good fit for my research. I’m in a situation where I have a big chunk of travel funding that’s going to disappear unless it gets spent in the next year. Oh no. But also oh yes.
Just in case, I put together a couple point-form ideas for stuff to propose that I can bring to the people holding the purse strings.
The rest of the afternoon is spent putting together weekly goals for four of my research projects: each one involves a collaboration with a different person, so I’d like to be able to send each of them an e-mail with at least one new thing to share about that project this week. Just in case that doesn’t happen, though, I rank them from most to least important. Worst-case scenario, I don’t have to send any of them this week, but it’ll make next week tougher if I don’t.
It’s only about 3:30 at this point, but honestly, I’m feeling a bit exhausted and overwhelmed (some of the e-mail chains have gone through five or six replies at this point and keeping it all straight is giving me a headache), so I opt to get some groceries and call it a day.
I may have added some stuff, but I got a lot crossed off today! Here’s how that last checklist looks at the end of the day:
Assorted Priorities:
Revise my paper and submit the revisions before the Monday deadline
Project #1: come up with a new exploratory figure and send to Person A.
Project #2: summarize the early results I started last week and send to Person B, along with an ask to see whether he’d be up for me presenting this stuff in Europe in November.
Project #3: improve on figures I showed last month and send to Person C.
Project #4: prepare a rough outline of the next paper to send to Person D.
Not having my work hard drive means I was able to just focus on the stuff that wasn’t specific to research today. In all the chaos of today, I’ve set myself up well for a research-heavy rest of the week where I (hopefully) won’t have to worry about non-research stuff or big changes to the schedule and can just burrow into research, emerging for occasional seminar/webinar breaks. A good Monday, all around.
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Top 12 Anime (That I've Seen) in 2018
Happy New Year, one and all! You read the title right, starting off 2019 with a change of format with not ten, but TWELVE entries in this year-end list! Not only that, I’ve actually watched more current stuff than last year!
Allow me to explain...
Just in case you haven’t seen my list from last year, this list will consist of anime I’ve seen this year and not necessarily anime that came out this year. Why? One, because I watch whatever I want to watch. And two, because not a lot of people do end of the year retrospectives this way and it’s a fun time sharing older series that many might not have seen, yet (not exactly original though considering that I stole this idea from videogamedunkey). Now that you understand the rules, let’s begin!
12. Fastest Finger First (2017)
Starting off the list is a little anime series that may have gone under most people’s radar when it first came out. I, myself, forgot about it until a random clip showed up on my FB feed via Crunchyroll’s page and decided to seek it out. It was a fun enough time with learning about the ins and outs of the Quiz Bowl world while getting behind our young heroes that aim to be the best. Admittedly, this shows rolls with plenty of anime cliches which almost drowns out the few surprises it has. One of those surprises is that these high school characters actually look like high schoolers! There’s no, “lolz, that’s a freshman in high school, but she has double D boobs! And that one over there is over six feet tall high muscle tone! Cuh-razy!”
Okay, that was more of a personal note, but it’s still appreciated. Anyway, it’s a cute show and definitely worth the look.
11. Ray:The Animation (2006)
Starting out is a show that I did a review on earlier this year so I’ll keep this, as well as other shows I reviewed already, relatively short. Ray is about a young woman, whom is an amazing doctor in her own right, tackling medical mysteries as well as her own foggy past. Medical dramas may be present in live-action shows, but it’s quite the rarity in anime especially having a woman in the leading role. Unfortunately, the lackluster animation and art keep it from going higher on this list, but all the good it has is REALLY good (albeit with some silliness here and there).
10. Beautiful Bones: Sakurako's Investigation (2015)
I’ve already had my say in regards to this series, but, just to clarify for this list, my feelings have not changed. Holds itself well for a mystery, has an interesting protagonist, and is visually beautiful. I would like to know more about this story, but that would mean reading the light novels. It may be low on the list because of it being a glorified commercial, but I would recommend this anime regardless.
9. Devilman Crybaby (2018)
Once you have seen this list as a whole, you’ll notice that most of the stuff I’ve seen last year was on the lighter side. You can blame Devilman for that because I needed some fluff for a morale boost after watching that! However, I didn’t place it at the bottom of the list for a reason and that’s because I recognize this anime as the game changer it is. Devilman is both visually and narratively different from what we’re used to in anime and we, as a community, need more of that. We need more shows that start up conversations on not just meaning, morals or symbolism, but rather on what we want to see and how trends should change. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve yet to recover from this show, so I’m going to look at some pictures of adorable puppers.
8. Pop Team Epic (2018)
Apparently, a LOT of people didn’t like Pop Team Epic and the attention that it was getting. I...don’t quite get it? I guess you can be allergic to fun? Sure, it was weird and off the wall, but that OP was a banger, though! Okay, so the humor didn’t jive with everyone, but it sure jived with me!
7. Aggretsuko (2018)
A fun look into the life of a young individual stuck in an average desk job (except, you know, with animals), Aggretsuko was an honest to goodness surprise for me last year and I’m glad it’s getting a second season.
6. Violet Evergarden (2018)
I’m sure that there are going to be a lot of people that will be mad at me for not putting this higher, especially since I think it’s this high to begin with on its merits of being a beautifully animated show alone. Yes, it had some really good character moments and one episode that got me very emotionally invested, but for some reason I find this spot to be just right. Hey, it beat out six other shows, right?
5. Interviews with Monster Girls (2017)
If ya’ll aren’t angry now hahaha!
Seriously, be thankful that my bias only had this anime this far. What bias is that? As sad as it sounds, this show opened up my eyes to the wonder that is Sakie Satou aka my new, overall, waifu.
Sakie aside, this show has a lot going for it. I can just imagine if this kind of story was handled by anyone else our main protagonist, Tetsuo Takahashi, would have been some bland self-insert with no personality, but instead, he’s one of the show’s strong points. For one, Tetsuo is a freakin’ adult and freakin’ acts like one. Second, instead of a generic, lean body type, he’s pretty jacked which I like to think provides some manservice for those looking for it.
IwMG is a delight and you should check it out if you haven’t already.
4. Hinamatsuri (2018)
Hinamatsuri was considered to be not only the best comedy anime of 2018, but the best anime, period, of 2018. Those claims are easily understood because the show has many things going for it: comedic timing, slapstick, and a variety of interesting characters. I’ve already said my piece when I reviewed it earlier, so all I have to say is to check out Hinamatsuri for a good laugh or seven.
3. Teasing Master Takagi-san (2018)
This show has charmed me so much. It was such a surprise. However, I’m going to keep this short because any longer will leave me gushing over and over again about how freakin’ precious these two kids are.
2. Nichijou (2011)
Nichijou is such a delight! The pacing, rhythm, and slapstick are ALL on point! I remember seeing some images back in the day and wasn’t all that impressed, but it wasn’t until one or two years ago that I came across some actual footage and was left impressed. A truly hilarious show with its own style. Go and watch this if you need a laugh.
1. My Hero Academia [S1] (2016)
So, yeah, I was about two years late to this party, eh? But after two years of seeing a lot of my friend fall head over heels for MHA, I thought, “Enough is enough, time to see if all this hype is merited.”
It was, it so freakin’ was.
I paced myself as best as I could thinking that I could space out the (current) three seasons because I’m not huge into binge watching, but I practically watched the first two seasons back to back. I enjoyed it that much! Heck, it got my brother to start watching it and he’s not that big into the anime scene! However, between the first two seasons, I felt that the first season was the stronger of the two and thus its place on this list.
Sorry for this being WAY late, but I’m glad to have finally finished this. Here’s to another year of being a huge nerd! Hooray!
#anime#anime review#top ten#fastest finger first#ray the animation#beautiful bones#DEVILMAN crybaby#pop team epic#aggretsuko#violet evergarden#interviews with monster girls#hinamatsuri#master teaser takagi san#nichijou#my hero academia
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